


His Green Eyes

by ArchAlpha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Cheating, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean Winchester Has a Panty Kink, Dean Winchester Loves Pie, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Dom/sub, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Drama, Eating Disorders, Feels, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Hair-pulling, Humiliation, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Multi, Orgasms, Panic Attacks, Panty Kink, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Repressed Memories, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, Step dad, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Underage Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Underage Kissing, Underage Masturbation, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 76
Words: 386,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchAlpha/pseuds/ArchAlpha
Summary: Underage Dean and Castiel begin an affair when John abandons them both. (Step-Dad fic)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/John Winchester
Comments: 95
Kudos: 160





	1. Birthday Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Broken Little Soldier](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776085) by [ArchAlpha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchAlpha/pseuds/ArchAlpha). 



> Not perfect, Just bored and started writing this. All errors are mine. Hope you enjoy x

It all started when John introduced him to his new friend, _Castiel._ The guy was extremely nerdy with black rimmed glasses, always wore polo shirts and jeans- well, that was when he wasn't wearing scrubs because apparently he had a very important job at the local hospital. Daddy's new friend started coming around often, especially for Sunday dinner. Mommy cooked dinner while they watched the football game together in the living room. The guy didn't have a girlfriend according to daddy and mommy. 

When mommy wasn't around, daddy and Castiel would sometimes hug. _One time they even kissed-_ It was a drunken kiss that Dean managed to catch when daddy walked his friend to his car one night after having dinner at the house. His new friend was around so much that mommy got tired- she told daddy she wanted time with just the family but he didn't listen, it wasn't until mommy caught them one night- _they were kissing outside on the front porch._ She left and never came back. 

Castiel spent the night once after too many happy drinks and he never left. Suddenly one day all of his clothes and things were here at _his_ house. Did Dean mind? No, he's only Ten years old and he likes daddy's friend. He liked all the snacks he brought home because they were the _fun_ kind- like chocolate bars, sour candy and more sugary cereal than he could ever dream of. They both also had a love for peanut butter and grilled cheese sandwiches. It worked for him because he was a picky eater.

With daddy's new friend around- the house was always clean and the landlord didn't come by anymore with threats to evict them. Dean was only a child, he didn't understand what was happening. He had a mommy and a daddy, and now he's got two daddies? He's been sworn to secrecy, not to tell anyone at school about his mom leaving. Not to tell anyone about having two daddies now. 

By Eleven, Dean understood more. Mommy left and now he has a daddy, and a step dad. Two dads, how awesome. Especially because Castiel was nicer to him than daddy ever was. Daddy sometimes hit him. Sometimes he yelled. Sometimes... _worse._ No one knew and no one was supposed to know. John swore him to secrecy about a lot of things. 

By Twelve, Dean really loved spending time with his step dad. Castiel was _very_ loving. He'd help give Dean baths because John wasn't around enough- he had started having his happy drinks at the bar now. _Alone._ He grew closer to Castiel each and every day. _Feelings developed..._ but Castiel never acted on them, yet. His step dad was good. Sometimes Castiel would give him a kiss on his cheek at bed time or rub his belly a little too long when his tummy hurt after eating too many snacks on movie night.

By Thirteen... _that's the year everything changes._

___

_Happy birthday!_

Dean's class buddies all huddle around him at school that day as they sing happy birthday to him. His only female friend Charlie gives him a kiss on the lips when no one is looking and it feels beyond _weird_ _._

He was Thirteen now and getting kissed by a girl still didn't interest him one bit. He's more interested in his best friend Sam, it was his day and he wanted to go play after school- they had plans to go to the park as usual for an unfair game of basketball. It was unfair to Dean because he was a giant for still being Twelve- Sam was only a few months younger than him. They were more like _brothers_ than friends. They were glued together during school hours and always went to the park outside of school because John didn't like having anyone over at the house. 

John liked their _privacy._

When Dean got home after the park that afternoon he expected at least Castiel to be there but no one was. The house was empty and dark, _surprise party?_ Not likely, they would've yelled _surprise!_ by now. He wasn't at all surprised that no one was home on his birthday. No one ever is. Castiel works late and dad- he's always at the bar. That much he does know. Dean opens the fridge to get a snack and completely misses the birthday cake Castiel had gotten him on the lower shelf. It's a basic sheet cake with rainbow butter cream frosting. 

He's been home a few hours and Castiel gets in before his dad does, as usual. Castiel comes by to his room to check on him- also, as usual. "Hello, Dean." he smiles until his eyes crinkle in that friendly way his blue eyes always did- he leans against the door frame. 

"Hey, Cas." the teen looks up from his Science book- there's a playboy Sam got him hidden inside. His science book is only a decoy.

"Where's your Dad?"

"Dunno, at a bar."

Castiel's handsome face saddens, "Classy. Why don't you come eat with me? I got us pizza for dinner."

Dean closes his Science book and follows Castiel to the living room, his birthday cake is right there on the old coffee table they've had since forever. "Happy birthday, Dean." Castiel sits down on the sofa, knife in hand and already moving to cut the cake. "Well, sit down." Dean does sit, he sits a little too close to him. He doesn't notice but Castiel always notices. The older this boy gets the closer he sits to him. 

"Thought everyone forgot my birthday." Dean licks frosting off his finger before grabbing a fork to dig into his big slice of cake. "Thanks." he says with a mouthful- Red and Pink frosting gather at the corners of his mouth as he eats. 

"I'll never forget your birthday." he wipes the corner of Dean's mouth with his thumb, "You have some frosting-" the boy looks up at him with this look-the look that makes Castiel melt and he stops-he forces himself to focus on the slice of cake in front of him. They both eat cake and pizza in silence for a long while, the TV is on- playing some romance movie that Dean's probably still too young for.

It's not until the couple on the screen start undressing each other that things get awkward- for Castiel. "You're too young to watch-" 

"M'not too young-" Dean steals the remote and he sits on it so it can't be taken away from him. He looks so enthralled by the passionate scene. 

Castiel squirms in his seat, "Dean, come on. Your dad will kill me for letting you watch this filth." it's a tad immature for Castiel but he reaches under the boy's butt for the remote so he can change the channel. "Here, watch Scooby Doo." 

"I hate you." Dean crosses his arms at his chest, "Scooby Doo is boring."

"Since when?"

Dean steals the remote to change the channel back to where it had been, "Since now." Both he and Castiel squirm uncomfortably, Castiel for obvious reasons- Dean for another reason. He's curious... "Cas." Dean says suddenly, his small hand now resting on Castiel's thigh, unaware that he's got pizza grease all over it. He looks down and sees a stain, "Oops-sorry-" 

Castiel just stares at him for a long minute with lust in his eyes, before he blinks the lust away- "I must be tired." he shakes his head, he wanted more- for the boy to touch him a little higher, maybe grab something-there's no way it would ever happen. He laughs softly too himself, he feels drunk with hunger for this boy but he'd never act on it. He's John's boy after all- he can't do that. 

"Cas? um-" Dean's soft voice squeaks in the silence- the movie was over. "Is it time for bed?" 

Castiel opens his eyes and it's painful. The erection in his pants hurts because he wants to be touched-but it's _wrong. So wrong.._ He licks his lips, "Yeah, buddy. Time for bed-" he gets up from the sofa and hauls Dean's pre-teenage body up into his arms like you would a toddler. "Getting so heavy-" he smiles as Dean's cheek presses against his on their walk to his room. He really should stop carrying Dean like this.. 

Dean takes the pajamas that he's handed, he strips his clothes as he always does so he can slip on his pj's that Castiel got him. "Can I see?" he says suddenly before Castiel can leave the room.

"See what?" Dean's eyes gaze over his entire body until they land on his crotch. "No-that's-" Castiel grows flustered, his hand rubs at the back of his neck. "Why would you ask me such a thing?" he just shrugs and sits down on the edge of his little twin bed. "Can you keep a secret?" the truth is, he wants to show him and he doesn't know why. He sits on the edge of the bed next to the boy. Nervously Castiel pulls out his cock while refusing to meet his gaze.

"Kinda looks like a hot dog-I love hot dogs."

"Don't be funny right now-" He tucks himself back into his briefs. When he does meet Dean's gaze, he's got the most beautiful blush on his cheeks. "Dean-"

"Are you horny?" Dean looks up at him with his lips parted a bit, "It looks like you're horny- cause it's big right now."

Castiel breathes in and out slowly, he's really trying not to do something he would regret- "Don't get me in trouble."

Dean was sucking in his bottom lip as he asks- "Can I touch it?" 

"No, Dean-" Castiel stands-he really has to get the hell out of Dean's room before something happens. 

"It's my birthday-" the boy whines, his big green eyes stare up at him and there's a growl that comes from low in his chest- he can't help it.

"Can I kiss you?" Dean stands up too, "Like in the movie we saw-"

Castiel looks at him and cant resist those big green eyes and puffy cheeks. "One kiss."

Dean smiles then and good lord it's the prettiest most sweetest thing ever. Castiel crouches down to plant one on his cheek but Dean's too quick and steals one from the older man. Planted a little wet kiss on Castiel's lips. "Thank you, goodnight." he says and climbs into bed, facing away- That's when the front door slams loudly, _John's home._ Castiel quickly scrambles to get out of the boys room and goes to _their_ bedroom.

John walks into the bedroom and strips off his clothes- clearly drunk. "Dean asleep?"

"He's asleep." he says panting- he barely just made it under the covers when John walked in the room.

John licks his lips "Good." and he passes out completely nude on the bed.


	2. Used

Dean eats his fruit loops at the kitchen table when John stumbles out through the front door late for work. John rarely pays any attention to him and he's used to it by now. When he's done he pushes the bowl away and goes padding down the hallway barefoot- noticing their bedroom door was slightly open.

Castiel was asleep in bed - Dean could tell that he was probably naked under the part of the blanket that was covering only some of his torso. Castiel was facing the door and could wake at any second but he didn't care. He stays there a few minutes just peeking through the cracked open door when the older man's eyes fly open like he can feel green lasers staring at him.

"Dean." Castiel's gruff morning voice calls out "Come here."

"Why are you watching me sleep?" Castiel questions when Dean enters the room. Dean only shrugs, his hair sticking up in all directions from sleep. Castiel was beginning to think it was his signature response to everything. He can't help but notice that he looks so sweet and cute just standing there at the foot of the bed- blinking those pretty green emeralds. 

"Did John leave yet?" 

Dean nods, "Can we cuddle?"

Castiel thinks it over for a few seconds and lifts the blanket- to the his disappointment he was not naked under there. He was wearing the same briefs as last night "Feel like a teenager yet?" after not getting a response he tries again- "You can talk to me remember, we're friends."

Dean looks up and shit those eyes that remind him of spring time. 

"Are you and dad boyfriends?" The question takes him by surprise.

"It's complicated." 

"You're gay right?" Dean questions,"I've seen him kiss you before."

"Drinking can make a man extra friendly, that's all." Dean presses his body against the older man and listens carefully. 

"If he's not gay then why the fuck-"

Castiel presses a finger to the boys lips to shush him "Watch your mouth, just because he lets you speak like that doesn't mean I will."

"My dad is stupid, you're probably an awesome boyfriend-" Dean looks up at him with this cute needy look on his face "I wish we could be boyfriends."

Castiel holds the boy closer, "You can't say things like that."

"But why cant we be boyfriends!"

"You've got to be kidding me." Castiel shuts his eyes in frustration, "I'm a lot older than you, don't you understand?"

Dean nods, "Yea but-"

"But nothing."

"But-"

"What!" Castiel snaps.

"I like you." Dean whispers- his eye's are already wet.

"Okay, Dean." Castiel breathes in and out to stay calm. "Okay."

The young boy was now ugly crying, "Are you mad at me?"

"Everything's okay." he leans in to kiss the boy's forehead but Dean reaches up and steals a second kiss, "Dean."

"I won't tell Dad. Promise." Dean bounces up and down in his stubbornness. "I won't tell."

"You're really not going to tell on me if I kiss you?" Dean shakes his head, "Close your eyes."

Dean obeys, Castiel presses a firm yet gentle kiss on his lips.

"How was that?" he whispers over the boys lips.

"Another?"

Castiel kisses him again- his tongue slips out to lick the boys bottom lip by accident and Dean's mouth opens up all the way, his tongue slipping out to meet Castiels.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing?"

"Who said we were going to use our tongues?" 

Dean shrugs and hops off the bed- what a shame, he actually wanted to continue kissing. "I'm kinda bored now-" he says.

Castiel gets up from the bed and ff course, Dean notices his morning wood. That kid notices everything. "Dean, stop staring."

Dean covers his mouth with his hand like he's trying not to laugh.

"I'm not always horny, this just happens in the morning sometimes."

"I always am-"

"I get that you're curious-"

"Dad never talks to me about this stuff."

"And you want me to talk to you about the birds and the bees?"

"More like you covered in bees." he winks.

Castiel pulls on some sweatpants and a shirt. Turning over to look at himself in the full body mirror he and John shared in their bedroom "I need coffee."

Dean follows behind him like a puppy to the kitchen "Can I have some too?"

"You're too young for coffee."

Dean watches Castiel pouring water into the Keurig and then choosing his coffee flavor and creamer. "When did you start drinking it?"

"I was fourteen, I hated it at first but it grew on me."

"Like I did." Castiel laughs quietly- his shoulder shake a bit as he does "I knew it! You like me."

Castiel ruffles his light brown hair, "That's never been a secret. You're a good boy- John and I both love you."

Dean blushes at the compliment but his mouth runs ahead of him, "If he loves me then why does he hit me-" he grumbles under his breath, his eyes locked on the floor. He was still barefoot.

"Excuse me?" Castiel puts his fingers under the boys chin to tilt his head upwards so their eyes can meet, "He's hit you? I didn't know this." Dean looks up but his eyes dart side to side.

"He does it when you're not around." Guilt was rising up his body slowly, making him feel hot and uncomfortable. "But he doesn't hit me that much now since you moved in."

"What could you possibly have done to deserve that anyway?" Castiel's tone was slightly disgusted.

Dean wraps his arms around him and he's relieved when the hug is returned. "He got mad when I asked for toys and stuff-h-he said they were too expensive." 

Castiel gets down on his knees and takes his small hands into his, "Sweetheart, you're just a child. You're entitled to get what you want. " He kisses the boys hand gently, still keeping eye contact with those green eyes even if they do tend to shift around a bit. He assumes he doesn't like eye contact very much. "Dean, listen to me. As long as I'm here, you will never have to go without. You'll always have food and toys." By now Dean's shoulders were shaking- tears streaming down his face. "I'll always be here for you. I'll always be your friend."

Dean whispers "I love you."

Castiel wipes his tears away and replaces the tears with small kisses to his cheeks, "I love you too-" he brings him into a tight embrace-probably a little too tight he the kid needs the love. "I'll never leave you." he pulls away, "Sit at the table, I'll let you try coffee. It'll be our secret."

"Kay." Dean sniffles and hops up on a chair at the table, he wipes his pink face on the sleeve of his pajama shirt. Castiel comes back with two mugs.

As they drink coffee Castel assures him, "Don't be afraid to come to me, I'll protect you- from anyone."

Dean smiles weakly, "There's a field trip I wanna go to, I needed money but didn't bother telling dad-"

"I'll give you the money." He reaches over and places his hand on top of the boys, "I'll always give you money."

"If I want a video game, you'll give me the money for it?"

"Don't push it-But yes. We can look online later."

"But then I need a Play-Station-"

"Of course you do."

Dean suddenly has a worried expression on his gentle face, "What if Dad gets mad-"

"I'll handle him." Castiel plants a kiss on his forehead "I don't want you to be scared of him anymore."

"Kay." Dean closes his eyes-blushing.

"I have to go to work now but when I come back we can look online for video games."

The boy nods and watches him disappear down the hallway only for him to come rushing out a few moments later wearing an odd shade of green scrubs.

"See you later." Cas waves goodbye at him as he hurries out the door.

That night Castiel came home a little later than he intended to-he expected Dean to be already asleep in his room. He walks into the master bedroom to find John in their bed passed out fully clothed. He rolls his eyes at the sight before him.

After changing into some shorts he gets into bed above the covers so he doesn't disturb the bear while he sleeps. Castiel almost doesn't notice the little note on his nightstand-from Dean. He makes sure the coast is clear before he opens it and the note simple says;

_You're so awesome_

"Hey-" John's whisper wakes him from his deep sleep, "Turn around."

"I'm too tired right now-" Before he can go back to sleep he feels lip all over him- kissing the back of his neck and pinning him down "John, I said no."

"C'mon-" he keeps kissing his bare shoulders, the stubble burning his pale skin "We both need this."

"Fine." His own erection growing in his briefs he turns over to return the burning kiss John gives him-feels the stubble burning on his chin,his neck and on his chest. God, he just needs someone touching him. He knows it's wrong but flashes of Dean's pretty face. Behind his closed eyes all he can see is those puffy pink cheeks and _those lips._

"Think I wanna try and fuck you-"

Castiel is so overcome with lust for that he gives in- "Fuck me. Just fuck me." John flips him over on his stomach a bit roughly, pulls his shorts down.

"Lube?"

Castiel reaches his hand into the nightstand for the bottle of lube and once he hands it over he lifted his ass in the air, his face pressed to the mattress "Just hurry, I don't care if it hurts-" 

John rubs lubed fingers on Castiel's hole before he pushes in slowly, "Know you wanted this for years-"

Castiel's eyes rolled back in his head while John slams into him without mercy. He knows John is drunk- he would barely remember anything by morning.

Maybe he was lying and always remembered their _more than friendly encounters_ and honestly he didn't even care.


	3. Hunting

Cas rolls out of bed the next afternoon, turning back to look at the empty space where John should have been. _Typical_ he thinks while making his way slowly to check on Dean. Right away after opening the door, he sees him. Dean's in bed, laying on his stomach and wearing only basketball shorts and his running shoes. "Dean."

Dean turns over, cellphone in hand. "Hey." he looks sad.

"Where's John?"

"He's your boyfriend-" he turns over again to lay down, "not mine." and resumes playing on his phone.

"Take a shower." Castiel says, monotone. "You stink." he doesn't like that hes being ignored so he tries again. "Dean, take a shower."

Dean is out of bed before he can blink. "I stink huh? I stink because I was shooting hoops all morning." he looks up at the older man, sniffing him. "You, you reek."

Castiel looks at him, confused and backs up the more Dean steps closer. "You smell just like my dad! What did he do to you? Huh!?"

"Were adults. We can have sex."

Dean laughed, "So it's 'Sex' now." grabbing some clean clothes from his drawer before hes walking out of his room. "Glad you guys have graduating to fucking now."

"Dean-"

"Enjoy!" Dean yells, locking himself in the bathroom. The next thing Castiel hears is Dean having a tantrum in there, throwing things around and yelling. "Son of a bitch!"

"Language!" 

The bathroom door is kicked by the boy, "Or what! You're gonna hit me like he does!?"

Castiel leaves him alone. He was not like John and would never hurt Dean physically. After a long shower he finally emerged from the bathroom. Naked and wet with only a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was sticking out from every which way. Maybe he was a little jealous but he couldn't understand why. He didn't have the guts to say he heard him and his dad bang like bunnies all night. He couldn't tell him he had to hide in his closet, listening to music with his headphones at full blast just to keep all that moaning and groaning away. He swears he can still hear it. The ghostly moans of his dad fucking him.

Once he's dressed in sweatpants and a basic white tee he goes looking around for Castiel but doesn't find him. He goes to look by the front door and sure enough- his backpack and work shoes are gone. That lets him know he's already gone for work. _Great._ Now he has to wait who knows how many hours until he comes back, he thinks it'll be twelve hours.

John comes home that evening and is talking to him about some fishing trip. Dean doesn't care to listen, so he smiles and nods sarcastically. His eyes looking in his fathers direction every now and then but focusing more on the TV screen. "Night." he mumbles once John leaves him alone to go to bed. "Go to bed already, school tomorrow." he calls back before disappearing into the master bedroom. Dean rolls his eyes, getting up off the couch to drag himself to the kitchen during commercial break to sneak some ice cream. He's now just sitting back down on the couch when he hears the front door slam shut and he knows it's Castiel. Sure enough, that scruffy pale looking man peeks into the living room. "Hey."

Dean looks his way, still pretending to be hurt, "Cas." then smirks, shoveling strawberry ice cream into his mouth.

Castiel smirks back, "Missed you." and sits down next to Dean, kicking off his shoes. "It's a little late for ice cream."

Dean rolls his eyes, shoveling another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "No one's ever home to feed me." Pink ice cream is melting at the corners of his mouth.

"How about I make us all dinner tomorrow?"

"I'll pass, I like to eat dinner before midnight." he shrugs, "S'okay." swallowing another spoonful. "I'm almost done."

Castiel doesn't realize when his hand goes to wander as they watch TV together, his fingers end up finding the back of Dean's head and he starts to light brush and tug at the hair there, near the nape of his neck. Dean doesn't object to it. He finally turns over, "I'm going to bed now."

Castiel sighs, "Okay." and he backs up a bit when he sees the boy leaning in close, "What are you doing?"

Dean shrugs, "Goodnight kiss." he leans in closer, "C'mon." and proceeds to kiss the man when he nods his agreement.

"Dean-" He whispers, not being able to resist. He lets his mouth open just a bit before the boy dives in. Shoving his sticky ice cold tongue in the man's mouth. "Mmm." Castiel loves the way he tastes right now. Like strawberry and innocence. "He tries to pull away but the kiss is too sweet. "Fuck-" managing to pull away.

"I got carried away didn't I."

Castiel nods, "What's going on between us?" adjusting himself over his scrub pants, not caring if the boy sees him do it.

Dean looks up, whining "I don't know."

Castiel blinks, _You're no help_ he's thinking.

"I feel weird." the boy admits, "Inside." Castiel is silent, not wanting to direct the conversation in anyway. Doesn't want to influence the boy into thinking anything.

"I feel like kissing all the damn time Cas!" Dean whines, "Ughhhhh." throwing himself back against the couch dramatically. "Help me." he starts punching at the older man lightly.

Castiel wants to be angry, wants to tell him he's being inappropriate. But Dean is too cute. He tastes like strawberry and smells like oatmeal body wash.

"I said help me you fucking old man." he says, holding back a smirk and trying to be serious. They both stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before the boy starts to look like hes angry, the kind of pretend playful angry Castiel is used to by now. Dean always does this. "Kay, then fuck you." He stands and Castiel grabs him by the waist and gently throws him back on the couch, pinning him down.

Dean's panting now."You like this?" Castiel asks in his ear, "This what you're asking me for?"

Dean swallows, realizing hes thirsty but doesn't say anything.

"Answer me, Dean. What do you want from me?" Castiel's trying to control himself from doing something he could regret. Dean whines under him and that's all he needs. He starts kissing the boys neck, careful not to leave any marks. "Tell me to stop-" Castiel moans, planting soft kisses down his throat.

"I-I-

"What is it?"

"I'm so confused!" Dean whines, burying his face in the older man's neck and grabs at him with need. Holding on to him for dear life.

Castiel sits up quickly, bringing Dean along with him, cradling him like a baby. "Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry for what I just did." Dean just cries harder into his neck. "I'm so sorry."

It had been a week since the incident happened, Dean would go and come home from school and Castiel would go and come home from work. They didn't speak, Dean tried though and Castiel avoided it. He felt guilty. 'Stop you ignoring me' he'd say from the couch where he always was when he got off work, big green eyes looking up at him. 'Please talk to me' he'd always try again in the morning before John dragged him to school.

"You're going where?" Castiel looked at John, peeling off his scrubs after a long day at the hospital. His usual routine was to watch TV for a while with Dean in the living room but he just couldn't. Not yet.

"Hunting." He kept stuffing clothes into his green duffle bag.

"Dean should enjoy that-" Castiel sat on the bed, "You're gonna call him out of school-"

"Dean's not going." he said, zipping up his duffle bag and setting it on the floor next to the door, along with his boots. "He's staying here with you."

"He's your son. Take him."

John looked back at him, "So now you can't even spend time with him?"

"I can but you should take him. He needs his father."

John laughed, "He needs to keep his ass in school and learn something for a change." he got in bed, facing away from Castiel. "Just makes sure he eats."

"I have a migraine." Castiel groaned.

"There's a bottle of Advil in the kitchen cabinet."

Castiel got up, making a disgusted face at John in the darkness of the room and tip toed his way down the hall to the kitchen. After taking an Advil he decided to check on Dean.

He opened the door to the boys room slowly, peeking inside to see Dean sitting up. His laptop was open in front of him, and one hand was under the covers. Castiel was about to will himself to close the door when Dean looked up for a second, eyes fluttering shut before tugging the blanket off himself, displaying his nude body to the older man. Putting on display what he had been doing.

The kid was jacking off, making a show of it now that he knew he was being watched. Castiel rubbed at his eyes with one hand as if that would make the boy disappear.

Neither of them brought it up the next morning, John went hunting as promised and Dean went to school. Castiel was left to mope around the house all day. His day off. He was getting used to all these little secrets between them. Castiel never intended to cross the line with Dean. Never considered him to be anything else than the Son of his 'friend'. Dean started this. Dean always got too close to him, always asking him for goodnight kisses. Asking him for hugs. For cuddles. Castiel always looked at it as himself being fatherly, because John wasn't. He remembers meeting Dean for the first time when he was 11.

Dean hid behind John, peeking over his father to see him. 'Dean say hi, don't be rude.'

Castiel also remembers doing Dean's homework for him, John doesn't know that. He knows the snacks Dean loves and always makes sure there's plenty of food for him. When he moved in all there was in the fridge was a pack of ham and bread that was starting to grow fuzz. Always makes sure his clothes are clean too. This boy was always covered in mud. He'd spend most of his time playing outside with the other kids in the neighborhood.

John was spending less and less time at home, so he took over the title of 'dad' a little bit. Often helping Dean take a bath, washing his hair for him. He helped him put on his pajamas and tucked him into bed. 'Read me somethin' Dean would always say. Castiel did, usually a chapter or two from a novel he was reading himself. He'd kiss him goodnight on the forehead, and excuse himself. Castiel would often pick up after him, always in fact. Of all the things he remembers, he can't remember a single time Dean has cleaned his own room since he has been there or done a single chore and he doesn't regret it.

They spent so much time together in fact that he never realized when they got too close. He always assumed it was a unofficial father/son relationship they had. He swears he never thought of Dean that way. Never had any thoughts when Dean would call him 'Daddy' sometimes. He was 13 now and the 'daddy' nickname had subsided and he was happy about that actually.

There were too many 'accidents' happening now. Too many 'encounters' where they wouldn't speak about what happened the next day. They'd just move on.

Dean came barging in, being loud and obnoxious as always after school. Dropping his backpack by the kitchen table and opening the fridge.

"Dean, there's pizza over here." Castiel called out from the living room, "Come eat."

Dean rushed over, almost tripping and let himself fall on the couch next to Castiel. "Well, hello to you too."

"Sorry-" Dean moaned as he bit into a slice of pizza, "hungry."

"How was school?" Castiel crossed his legs, hoping to hide his growing erection. He really is going to hell.

Dean swallowed, "Okay I guess, lots of homework." Castiel nodded, listening. "I'm gonna need help." He looked at Castiel, chewing loudly.

"You're a big boy, you can do it by yourself." Castiel smiled, nudging the boy's arm with his foot.

"Or you can just do it for me-" Dean giggled, snapping his greasy fingers at the man. "Go on and get to it!"

Castiel really did his homework that night, while the boy slept. He stuffed the homework in his backpack and dropped it off by Dean's bed when he was finished, he was asleep so peacefully. His tummy peeking out from his shirt. Castiel tugged his shirt down to cover the exposed skin and pulled up the covers. "Goodnight."

Castiel got into his own bed, when his phone buzzed.

 **Dean:** _love u_

He smiled and responded.

 **Castiel:** _Love you 2_

It wasn't the first time Dean texted him, but it was the first time Castiel deleted the texts. He looked up at the ceiling, blinking. He had a whole week alone with the kid. What the hell was he supposed to do? Castiel groaned and rolled over in bed, hoping he could get some sleep.


	4. Bonding

With John gone for the week, Castiel let Dean stay home from school so they can do some clothes shopping. It was Tuesday and they found themselves walking around the mall. Castiel holding their shopping bags with brand new clothes and shoes for Dean. He's been wanting to get the boy new clothes for a long time and now was a good a time as any since his dad wasn't around to make comments. Who knows when the last time he had new clothes was. His old stuff was fitting a bit tight.

Dean never complained, he learned to accept what he had and not ask for more. Dean grew accustomed to having his requests ignored or getting spanked a little too hard by his dad. Castiel decided he deserved new things, even if it was a secret.

"Need anything else?" Castiel looked to the boy that walked close beside him, ice cream cone in hand. "We got you new clothes, sneakers and some video games so far-"

"Dad's gonna be pissed!" Dean exclaimed, but he was happy. Too happy.

"You let me worry about him." He watched the boy lick at his vanilla ice cream cone, it started to drip onto his fingers. "How about some cologne?" he asked, snapping out of it and looking ahead at the Abercrombie & Fitch store.

Dean looked up at him, "You think I need it?"

Castiel shrugged, already heading towards the store. "It's never too early, besides the one from this store- "he gestures to Abercrombie & Fitch, "Is for teenagers. It's not that strong." They both walk in, instantly Dean is looking around, confessing he's never been in this store before. That Dad would call him queer for stepping in there.

"Nothing wrong with looking nice!" Castiel smiled, "John is too old school."

"Fuck, I know." Castiel let his language slide that time because he agreed. "Dad's 49."

Castiel smiled, placing a hand on Dean, guiding him through the store as they browsed and talked. "I'm 34."

"Damn." Dean bit his lip, thinking that was kinda hot. Looking up at Castiel, he was starting to notice that he didn't look that old at all and now he knew why. He was only 34.

"Dean, language." Castiel used his grown up voice.

"Right. Which cologne do I get." he asked, without actually caring which one he was going to end up getting. Castiel picked a bottle and sprayed some on his wrist, smelling it before extending his arm for the boy to smell. "Can we get this one? I like it." Castiel nodded, guiding him towards the registers to go pay.

Dean watched the interaction between Castiel and the young cashier, smiling and lightly flirting with eachother. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sooo done. Let's go get food and go home God damn it." Dean cursed as they walked out of the Abercrombie & Fitch store. "Fuck."

Castiel tugged on his arm lightly, "What did I say?" he looked a bit angry.

Dean's glare softened, "I saw you flirt with that guy."

"Flirt?" he let go of the boy, both of them walking towards the mall exit. "I was being friendly."

"So you cheat on my dad by kissing me-" he looked up at Castiel, "then you cheat on me by flirting with that guy."

Castiel's neck snapped to look at the boy, "Excuse me?" full on angry, until he saw Dean's face, trying so hard not to burst out laughing. "What the fuck, Dean." he cursed himself, and moved to unlock his car to let them both inside once they found it among the rest of the cars in the lot.

Dean smiled and climbed inside the front passenger seat, "It's just fun to torture you."

Castiel shook his head, leaning over to buckle Dean in. Dean never wanted to wear his seat belt. Why argue with him. As they drove home, after picking up some food. Dean asks, "Do you think he was cute?"

Castiel focused on the road, "What?"

"The guy at the store. The cashier."

"You're still on that?" Once at a red light, Castiel turns to look at him. He's sitting there, hands on his lap, green eyes staring him down. "I'm nice, I wasn't flirting." He defends himself again.

"You-" Dean coughs softly, wiping his hands on his thighs. "When did you know you were gay?" he asks instead.

Castiel looks at him for a second, before pulling into the driveway of their house. "Why?"

Dean shrugs, biting his lip. "Will I know if I'm gay?"

Castiel leans over a little bit, "Dean. Don't worry about what you like yet. Enjoy being young." he pats the boys leg. "Okay?"

Dean nods, "Yeah." This stupid man was making him question things. Even if he was just 13 years old. He was making him feel hot and tingly.

Once they settled inside, Dean carried his bags and placed them all on his bed. Pulling out jeans and shirts, socks, underwear and his new cologne. He smiled, thinking of how his dad never did this for him. His dad has never taken him on a shopping spree before. John usually bought him clothes without Dean choosing them, if they fit they fit, if they didn't then they didn't.

He and Castiel ate their takeout food at the kitchen table. Enjoying the comfortable silence between them, except for the occasional joke and laugh that came afterwards.

Castiel lay in bed later that night, his mind wandering freely. His thoughts going from John, to Dean. His hand that rest on his stomach, threatened to run south, feeling his own body. He let it explore a little bit before he heard the boy call out, "CASSSSS." he snapped out of it and walked over to the boys room, pushing open the door. "Yes?"

"My legs hurt."

Castiel blinked, "What?"

"MYYY LEGSSS HURT." Dean whined, he was sitting Indian style on the bed, rubbing his legs and ankles.

Castiel sat next to him, "Probably growing pains. You're still growing." he took over, rubbing little circles on his ankles. Taking his time soothing him.

It wasn't long before Dean's lips parted slightly, panting. "Thank you." he whispered.

Castiel nodded, continuing to work on his legs now. Massaging. "This used to happen to me too, my legs often hurt at night and my mom would do the same thing to me." he shares.

Dean watched, he was getting hard in his boxers. "Higher?" he asked, unsure. Castiel's expert hands moved higher, reaching his thighs and he let out a moan.

Castiel stopped, looking him in the eyes. Then his eyes traveled down the boys body until they landed on the tent in his boxers.

"Are you mad at me?" Dean quickly asks, still panting. "I'm sorry-"

Castiel licked his bottom lip before inching closer to Dean, "Don't be." he grabs hold of the side of his face, kissing him. Firmly but gently. "Shhh, It's okay."

"C-Cas?" Dean whimpers, "I feel-I-" he scoots closer to the man, "I-"

Castiel rubs his back, "I kn- I know, baby. I know." kisses him again, licking at the boys lips. "I feel it too."

Dean swallows, making little struggling sounds in his throat. Unable to speak. To explain what he wants.

"But we can't." Castiel rubs his face, his thumb rubbing the boys cheeck. Staring down at big green eyes that are looking up at him. "We can't do anything about it."

Dean's breathing stutters, closing his eyes before they begin to water. He's nodding in understanding.

"Are you mad at me?" Castiel asks HIM for the first time.

Dean shakes his head in response, "Can I tell you something?" he looks up again. Castiel nods.

"Is it messed up that- um, I kinda wish you were my dad...but I always want to kiss you?" Dean is confused as he says this, "And like, I always feel like I wanna touch you?"

Castiel sighs, before groaning softly. "Don't do this to me." he whispers. He has no clue what to say, but he gets what he's trying to say. "I love you." he says finally. Hoping that's enough.

Dean's still panting, "I love you too."

Castiel closes his eyes before kissing the boy again, whispering " I love you." between every kiss, "I love you so much.

That night he slept with Dean in his bed, just to hold him through the night. Not being able to imagine leaving him alone after what they just shared. He knew he was crossing the line now.

Dean wakes before Castiel, he props himself up on his elbow, looking down at the man. He starts tracing his fingers along Castiel's collar bone, along his Adam's apple, along the stubble on his face.

"Dean." Castiel stirs, eyes blinking awake. "What are you doing now."

"I missed you." he says shyly.

Castiel laughs, "I've been right here, don't know much closer we can get." He did know, but he couldn't go that far. Of course he couldn't.

"Kiss me?" Dean's biting his lip again, making it red. His face is so flushed you'd think he was running a fever.

Castiel makes eye contact now, "You love kissing. Don't you." He says, propping himself on his elbows now. Face inches from Dean.

Dean gasps, goes to hide his face in Castiel's neck.

Castiel laughs softly, pulling him away so they can look at each other again.

"Don't you like kissing me?"

Castiel breathes roughly, arousal washing over him. Now it's his turn to curse again, "Fuck.." he lays back, still holding the boy by the shoulders. His eyes are closes, the reason why he doesn't realize when he moves to place his hand on his crotch, pressing firmly. "Dean.." his chest is rising and falling a little too fast now. "Stop that-

Dean begins to rub, grabbing his impressive bulge over his pajama bottoms, he shakes his head 'no' and continues.

Castiel fists the sheets under him, "I said stop." he says weakly. Moaning in frustration and arousal.

"God I wanna suck you so fucking bad." Dean whines, "Please. Pleaaasee." he begs, palming the mans erection through the fabric.

Castiel groans loudly, almost like an animal. "Go ahead, fucking suck it." he pushes his pajamas down enough for his cock to pop up and out of his pants. "Suck it."

Dean looks at it, almost hungrily. Looking up, as if asking 'can I really?'

Castiel nods, fisting Dean's hair between his fingers and pushes him down gently on his cock, "It's okay, suck it." he breathes.

Dean opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out, he laps at it, kissing Castiel's cock. He made a face the first taste he got at it but continued, he kept kissing it as if he was making out with it.

"Oh my-" Castiel groans, "fuck-" he brings Dean's head off his cock, enough so Dean can look at him. Dean winces, his hair still in the man's grasp.

Dean licks his lips, whimpering. "I've never been this horny-"

Castiel moans obnoxiously, "Fuuuckkk.." he pulls Dean up by his arms to hug him, "You're killing me."

Dean giggles, "I wish- he shakes his head as if to say 'never mind'.

"What is it?" he asks, rubbing the back of Dean's head gently. Their blowjob session over with now. Castiel always tried to catch himself, even if he does it late.

"I wish we could have sex-"

"No!" Castiel covers the boys mouth to shut him up, "Don't say that..." he shakes his head. "Damn it, Dean." he removes his hand.

Dean blushes, "What!" he barks. "I wanna fuck!"

Castiel laughs. "God, kill me now." he pulls up his pajamas before Dean can notice. "You're crazy."

"I get it from my dad." he shrugs.

"Hey-" he rubs his nose against the boys cheek, "You'll be a better man than him one day."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Castiel confirms, "Why don't we go play one of those video games. Maybe show me how to play?"

"Okay." Dean smiles, his green eyes the happiest they have ever been in the time he's known the kid.


	5. Pain

The following Monday, Dean was making his way to the school cafeteria only to stop right in front of the door. His friend Sam waving him over to come sit down with him as usual. Dean waved him off, motioning to Sam that his stomach hurt. He made a face at his friend like he was hurting, clutching his stomach. Sam clearly mouthed 'Oh okay' and waved at him. He quickly turned and rushed to the nurses office, "My stomach hurts." he says pouting at the school nurse.

The nurse quickly has him sit down and she takes his temperature, "You don't have a fever."

Dean groans, "But it hurtsss."

The nurse sighs, "Do you want to lie down for a while?"

"Can I call home? My dad said if I felt sick again today he would come get me." he lies.

The nurse hands him the office phone, "Okay, but use the office phone."

Dean sighs in relief, dialing his dad's phone number. No answer. He looks over to the nurse, making sure she's not eyeing him make a second phone call. "It's ringing." he lies again. He goes to dial Castiel's cell phone number, after the third ring he hears him say "Hello." he smiles instantly, looking down at his new sneakers.

Dean clears his throat and lies again, calling Castiel his dad over the phone. "Dad, my stomach hurts. Can you come get me?"

Castiel is confused but doesn't question the nickname, "I'm at the hospital right now, working-"

"Please." he whispers into the phone speaker.

"Let me see what I can do, I'll say I have a family emergency."

Dean sighs again, "Please come. Hurry." he whispers and hangs up quickly. "Thanks...I'm gonna go now." he stands up, placing the phone back on the nurse's desk.

"Feel better." she smiles and Dean knows she could care less how he feels.

Dean goes to the bathroom and waits out the rest of the lunch period, once the bell rings he waits a few minutes and sneaks off to the front of the school and makes his escape. He knew Castiel didn't have permission to sign him out officially so he'd have to sneak out of the building to wait for him. Dean's pacing in front of the school thinking maybe he's not going to show up until he hears a car honking at him, he turns around and instantly runs towards the car.

"Oh my God. Thank you." he says as he gets in. Castiel's watching him, "I-I didn't feel good."

The older man's face softens, "I'll take you home."

Once at the house, Dean goes up to his bedroom to rest and Castiel sits at the kitchen table on his laptop. It's not until he realizes it's been a hours and he hasn't heard a peep from Dean, he gets up and goes to check on him. "Dea-" he stops, Dean's crying completely audible from the hallway.

"Dean?" he opens the door to his bedroom, "Are you feeling worse?"

Dean shakes his head, "I lied about being sick."

"Why would you do that?" Castiel sits on the edge of the bed. "It's not easy for me to get off work-"

"I'm sorry!" Dean yells, "But I'm mad! I didn't want to be in school!"

"Why?"

"Because dad fucking left me!" Dean ugly cries, hiding his face in the pillow. His screaming muffled.

Castiel tears up a little bit himself, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he hadn't heard from John since the morning he left for his fishing trip. His calls kept going unanswered. When Castiel didn't speak Dean turned to face him, "Don't you care?" he asks, hurt.

"I care-"

Dean sits up, punching at Castiels chest lightly. "Where is he! Cas! Where!?"

Castiel's tears begin to flow, grabbing onto the boy forcfully to keep him from punching. "He left ME. Not you."

"You? Why would he leave you?"

Castiel shrugs, "Maybe he wants to be with a woman." he pulls the boy closer, "He hasn't called me. Not even to check on you."

Dean shakes his head, "Fuck him. I hate him."

"Don't say that." Castiel kisses his forehead. "I'm never leaving you. If John and I aren't together, It doesn't change us."

"Promise you'll never leave?" Dean whispers, "Promise that i'll be wherever you are."

Castiel looks at him, nodding.

"Promise it!" he whines.

"I promise, you'll be wherever I am."

More tears fall down his cheeks, they're pink now and his lips are swollen and puffy from the crying. Castiel lifts him up and carries him to the bathroom, "I'll run you a bath, you'll feel better."

Dean nods, beginning to strip his clothes off. He looks up, "Stay with me? I don't want to be alone." The man nods, getting his bath ready. "You even make baths look pretty. He's looking at the bath, there's purple bubbles and it smells like lavender.

Castiel is almost completely unaffected by Dean standing before him with no clothing, it's as if in this moment he's simply Dean's father figure. "Get in." he smiles.

Dean's shy now, looking at the bath. "I've never had a bath before. Dad says baths are for little babies."

Castiel sits down on the edge of the tub, "Just get in, it's okay." he smiles. Dean does as hes told and gets in the tub, moving slowly to sit down in the purple water. The bubbles come up to his chest.

"I like this." his hands exploring the bubbles. "It smells nice."

"Lavender helps me relax." Castiel admits, "I'll run you a bath every night if you want me to."

Dean looks up at Castiel, "Kay..." hes still really sad about the situation, although he doesn't mind alone time with Castiel.

"Are you hungry?" Castiel finally asks, hes pouring water over Dean's head with his batman cup. Dean closes his eyes, head tilted back.

"Yes." Dean answers quietly, "I hurt inside."

Castiel stops, "Where?" hes concerned.

"In here." Dean taps his chest, over where his heart should be. "It hurts so bad."

Castiel leans over and pulls him into a hug, his clothes getting wet and soapy. He doesn't care. "Here-" he pulls away, standing up and grabs a towel for Dean, "Dry off, I'll go make us some soup." Dean nods, watching Castiel leave the bathroom. Dean dries himself off slowly, and slips into some new boxers and goes to the kitchen to find Castiel. He sits at the table, watching the man move around in the kitchen, looking for bowls.

"Top cabinet."

Castiel finds them, and serves Dean. "Please eat, okay." and sits next to him. A little too closely, but it's welcomed.

Dean looks down at the soups, it smells and looks good but he's struggling to eat. He wraps his arms around his midsection.

Castiel notices, "Please eat."

Tears are falling down the boys cheeks yet again, Castiel reaches for Dean's spoon and goes to feed him. Blowing on each spoonful so he doesn't burn the kid. "Here."

Dean opens his mouth and allows himself to be fed. "Thank you." he whispers.

He rubs the boys back once they're done eating, "You did good." kisses the top of his hair, "It's okay."

"I don't know why I'm even sad." Dean finally says. "Dad's always mean to me. Since mom left. I should be happy he's not here bothering me. I should be happy he's not here to hit me-" he stops himself before he says too much. John always got furious when his son threatened to tell on him.

"Tell me about that, please." Castiel asks, "I need to know."

Dean coughs a little, nodding. "I don't remember why he would hit me-" he breathes in a shaky breath "I just remember him hitting me . All the time."

Castiel's rubbing his back. "Go on, it's okay."

"Dad uh- he would grab me, and he would hold me down." Dean coughs again, "He's take off his belt- and well you know what happens after that. He hit me with it."

"Where?"

"My butt." Dean confessed, looking ashamed. "M-My thighs. My legs. Sometimes I tried to out run him. I'd run to my room and lock the door. I had to push against it with all I could so Dad wouldn't break in. I was so scared what would happen if he got in my room... " he trembles. "Dad likes to sit outside-" Castiel nods, letting him continue. "and sometimes if I'd go near him he would- he-"

"It's okay." Castiel reassures him.

"He'd be sitting outside and If I came around him while he was in a bad mood, if he had a beer in his hand-" He breathes, "he's throw it at me!" he gasps to himself, covering his mouth.

Castiel closed his eyes, to keep the tears from falling.

"Dad would throw his beer at me." he repeats, "He- he threw my bottle at me when I was little too. I don't remember it but, mom told me once. Maybe that's why she left."

"I love you." Castiel wraps him in a hug, "I can't believe John would do all of that to you. You didn't do anything wrong, believe me. He should know better."

"And Cas-" Dean's looking up at him, green eyes wide. "I remember something else...I never said anything. Ever."

"What is it?"

"The day after mom left, I woke up in dad's bed."

"Okay?" Castiel isn't sure of what Dean's trying to say.

"I don't sleep in dad's bed. Never have. I don't remember how I got there." Dean blinks, "I woke up in dad's bed, I remember thinking it was weird."

"Are you saying-" Castiel pauses, feeling overwhelmed. "you think he did something to you?"

Dean shrugged, not breaking eye contact with Castiel. "I-I remember trying to kiss dad a lot when I was little. Like, I would try to make out with him." He breaks eye contact, looking down. "I didn't know why I would do that. I don't remember him stopping me either. There's more I remember-"

"That's enough for now. Okay." his voice breaking a bit, "We can discuss this more another day."

Dean nods. "I'm so tired."

For the first time, Castiel was actually happy that John wasn't back and he hopes he never sees him walk through that door ever again. "Let's get you into bed." he stands, guiding the boy back to his bedroom. Castiel lets him sleep in his bed tonight, he can't leave him alone after what he's shared. "I'm sorry, Dean." he whispers in his ear, holding him tight. "I'll always protect you."

Dean sighs, relaxing under the covers.


	6. The Boys

Dean was asleep, with his messy hair spiking up in all directions but managing to stick to his forehead at the front. Castiel was watching him having awoken a half hour earlier.

The digital alarm clock on the nightstand to his left read - **6:45 A.M.**

He figured he'd call in again for the day, no way in hell he was leaving this boy alone. No way he was waking him up for school this morning, Dean needed to relax and so did he.

Castiel whispers softly in Dean's ear, "We're both staying home today."

The kid smiles after a few moments, "Kay.." he whispers back. They both close their eyes and drift away. 

Later on that morning, Dean finally awoke and saw he was alone in bed. "Cas?" he calls out, moving to get up and makes his way down the hall in search for the man. "Cas?" he sees Castiel in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs and some bacon. The smell of coffee in the air as well. _Yum._ "You're awesome." 

Castiel turns, noticing Dean. "I know." he smiles and moves to grab some plates and mugs. "Sit down."

"You're bossy." he says, sitting down at the table. 

Castiel serves him a generous amount of eggs and a few strips of bacon, then pours him some coffee. "How are you feeling?"

Dean picks up his fork, playing with his eggs before swallowing some down, chewing. "I'm okay.." he says, mouth full.

Castiel sits down next to him, playing with his food. "I'm worried about you, Dean. Everything you told me, I can't-"

Dean stops him, "I don't want to talk about it anymore.." he lifts his mug to take a sip. "You're already treating me different-"

"No. No, Dean. You just-"

"You haven't kissed me since I told you." Dean admits, finishing the last piece of bacon. When good food is in front of him, he eats as fast as he can. He thinks it's going to run away at any second.

"That's bothering you? I-I don't think it's a good idea we continue-"

"Are you kidding me?" Dean whines in the most childish voice.

"Dean. Please don't make this harder. I'm not John." he breathes in harshly, "I'm not going to hit you. I'm not going to m-molest you in any way. I promise."

"But-that's not what we were doing. You're not hurting me!" he hisses, his eyes watering. "You're not like my dad..."

"You're thirteen." Castiel whispers. "It's illegal. I love you, but it's illegal."

Dean sits there, looking helpless. "I won't tell anyone."

Castiel groans, pushing his nearly full plate away. "I guess you'll be happy once I go to jail." he snaps at him. 

"Asshole." Dean spits, he gets up and runs out of the house.

' _Damn it'_

He soon hears Dean's basketball bouncing off the garage door and Castiel continues eating once he knows he ran outside to go play. After he has finished collecting the dishes and putting them in the sink to wash for later he goes to the front door, opening it. Dean's there, pajama bottoms and barefoot, playing with his basketball. It's only eleven in the morning and the kid is already sweating like you wouldn't believe.

"Dean, come inside." he stands at the door, glaring. "Before someone sees that you're not in school." 

Dean looks at him, throwing his ball off to the side and makes his way to the door, passing Castiel on the way in.

"What do you want from me?" Castiel follows him to his bedroom like a desperate puppy. 

Dean turns, "I need to take a shower." he licks his lips, "Personal space." and shuts the door in the older mans face.

Castiel laughs silently to himself, in anger. He crosses his arms at his chest, waiting for the door to open. 

When Dean does open it a few minutes later, his fresh clothes in hand he swallows. Like he might be in trouble. "Move."

"No."

"I smell like ass, move." Dean tries to push past him but Castiel kisses his cheek. As if he was trying to kiss him on the lips but missed. He's blushing now. "What's that for?"

Castiel smiles, "You may take a shower now." he steps aside.

Dean's mouth falls open, "Asshole." 

"You wanted a kiss, I gave you one." The boy gets on his toes, reaching in for a kiss but he steps back. "Go shower, you do smell like ass."

"CAS!" Dean squeals, half laughing- half angry. "Shut the fuck up!" and darts to the bathroom, slamming the door. "My God!" he yells.

Once done, he comes out and goes to his bedroom. Castiel's sitting on his bed, "I'm sorry."

Dean rolls his eyes, "I'm sensitive but I'm not a girl." 

"Right. What do you want from me?" he asks again.

"I don't know." he sits,"I kinda like you being my 'dad' but-I can't help it if I think you're hot."

"Dean..." Castiel's face goes red, all the way to his ears. "You think I'm hot?" 

Dean nods, "Um, have you seen yourself?"

Castiel laughs softly. "You're not ugly either." he can't call a thirteen year old _hot._ He just can't.

"Oh thanks Cas." Sarcasm in his voice. "So..." he kicks his feet in the air slightly.

"So..." Castiel clears his throat, "It's up to you what happens between us."

Dean looks at him in the eye, "I promise I wont tell." 

Castiel looks unsure. "I-I don't want to have sex with you." 

Dean looks pained, "Why?"

"You're a child."

Dean's mouth twists in anger. "Jeez, tell me how you really feel about us." he grumbles.

"I would hurt you if we did-if we had sex, it would hurt you." Castiel wraps an arm around Dean, "I don't want to hurt you. If you want us to kiss or cuddle, we can."

Dean smiles then, "That's all I want. I don't want to have sex." his face scrunches up then. "Least I don't think I wanna."

Castiel smiles uncomfortably, why the hell is he doing this he thinks. He finally asks, "Have you always thought about us? As in, together?"

Dean shrugs, "Dunno. I always liked you. I think on my birthday I started having feelings for-"

"You have feelings for me?" he cuts in, his hand now on the boys thigh. "What feelings?"

"Like warm feelings." Dean's panting again,"Everywhere."

"Okay." Castiel kisses the top of his head, he recognizes the look Dean's giving him. He's trying to keep him calm. "Why don't we go out for a movie tonight?"

Dean nods almost too quickly. "Yes please." 

Castiel sighs in relief, they can't be alone together it seems. Castiel can keep his cool, but Dean really can't. "Is there a friend from school you'd like to come with us?"

"Yes! Sam!" he grins, "He's my best friend. Dad didn't like him hanging around but now-"

Castiel ruffles his hair, "Invite him."

Dean invites him over the phone, and by his excitement and the fact that he can't stop saying _'dude' 'dude' dude'_ clues him in on that his friend Sam said yes.

"Cas! Let's go!" Dean screams, putting on his sneakers and his hoodie. "Sam's already at the movies!"

Castiel grabs his keys, opening the door. "Alright, alright. We're going."

Once at the movies, they walk in and they both hear a boy screaming. "Dean! Over here!" They both turn, to see a tall boy with long hair. Castiel's a bit taken back by his appearance, he's a little too tall for his age. "Dude! I feel like I haven't seen you outside of school in forever." He exclaims, making his way over to Dean and Castiel.

"Hi, sir." He shakes Castiel's hand. "Nice to meet you, Dean talks about you a lot."

Castiel smiles, looking down at Dean. "Is that right?"

Dean blushes, "Let's go see what's playing. Then we need snacks. he looks up, "Right Cas? You'll buy us snacks?" batting his eyelashes, unaware he's even doing it.

"Of course. Pick whatever you want, I'm buying."

"Awesome!" both boys shriek. "I want nachos." Dean says.

"I want popcorn." Sam says.

"Cas, what are you getting?" Dean asks, standing in the middle, his friend to his other side. They are waiting in a short line for the snacks and their tickets.

"Hmm.." Castiel looks at the menu above, scanning everything they have. "Probably a hot dog."

Dean smiles, tugging his shirt in a way his friend won't see.

Castiel rolls his eyes, "Stop it, Dean." he pulls out his wallet, "Behave." and goes to order the snacks and picks out a movie that is somewhat age appropriate.

After they have settled in their seats he notices that there aren't many people at the movies tonight. He figures it's because it's a school night. Dean sits in the middle, Sam by one side and Castiel on the other side. Their snacks are on their lap and the boys are eating, watching the trailers for the movie.

"Thanks." Sam says, leaving over to Castiel, "Dean wasn't lying when he said you were super chill." he whispers.

Castiel nods, his knee knocking against Dean's gently. Dean looks at his face in the dark, his eyes are screaming _I love you  
_

After the movie Castiel asks Sam, "Sam, will you be needing a ride home or is your mom picking you up?" 

Dean looks at him, "Can he sleep over? Dad never let him." Both boys look up at him hopefully.

"It's a school night." Both boys roll their eyes, "Okay. Sam, can I call your mom? See if shes okay with it."

Sam nods eagerly, giving his phone number so he can call to ask for permission. They walk outside, following the older man as he punches in the numbers. 

"Hello? Yes, I'm Dean's step dad-" Dean almost laughs at that, "and Sam is wanting to spend the night. Yes, I understand it's a school night but you know how kids are. Great-of course I'll make sure he gets to school on time tomorrow." he hangs up. "She said yes, I guess you can borrow some of Dean's clothes. We went shopping recently."

"Thank youuu." Dean hugs his arm, clinging to it as they make their way to the car so they can go home. 

After both boys were showered and ready for bed, Sam looks at him - "Where's your dad?" 

Dean shrugs, they're both on the floor laying on a few blankets that Castiel has placed along with some pillows. Dean's bed had been way to small for both boys to sleep on. 

"He's on a fishing trip." he simply says, looking up at the ceiling.

"Bull crap." Sam snorts. 

Dean whines. "Kay, he left." 

"And Castiel? How is he doing-"

Dean snaps at him, "Why do you care how Castiel is doing?" he hisses. "He's fine."

"They were _together._ "

"Well, not anymore." He crosses his arms. "I'm glad he's gone."

"Everyone needs a dad." Sam says, gently. He opens a comic book, pretending to read.

"Castiel can be my dad." 

Sam smiles, "Yeah...I like him." His friend had no idea that he really did like Castiel as a father figure, but he had a crush on him as well. Sam's his best friend but there's no way he can tell him this secret. This is the one secret that might die with him.

The next morning Castiel walks into Dean's bedroom wearing his signature powder blue scrubs, "Ready for school?" he asks. Both boys nod, heading out the door.

"Bye you two." Castiel waves at them, he's parked in front of the school. "Dean, take the bus today. I have a lot to do at work today." 

Dean nods, "Bye." slams the car door and walks side by side with his friend Sam. They're both smiling and laughing.

Castiel loves seeing Dean like that. Maybe now Dean can finally have more of a normal life.


	7. Burned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback chapter.

_"Dean?" Castiel call's out, he hears the boy crying but can't tell where the boy is. "Dean?" he tries calling out again. No response. Castiel gets to the kitchen and sees him, curled into a ball under the kitchen table. He's looking up at Castiel, his eyes are red and his cheeks are streaked with fallen tears._

_"_ _What's wrong buddy?" he's on his knees, reaching under the table for him but Dean is screaming, kicking his hand away. "Dean...it's me, Cas. What's wrong?"_

_"Dad!" is all Dean screams, "Da-a-a-aadd!" half cries._

_Castiel notices the boy is only wearing underwear, he can see his thighs are very red. "Did you fall?" Dean shakes his head, "Do you want me to go get your dad? He's outside-"_

_"No!" he screams, "No da-ad!" now kicking at the air, still under the table. "I'm mad at him!"_

_"Can you come out for me?" Castiel asks him in a firm but gentle voice. "Tell me what's wrong."_

_"I don't knowwww!" he screams."I hate him! I hate him! I hate hiiiiim!"_

_Castiel reaches under the table, holding out his hand. "Come on buddy, I'll give you some candy if you come out."_

_Dean finally crawls out, he's so tired. "Candy." he whispers._

_"You got it." Castiel gives him a cheerful thumbs up. Dean says nothing after that, he just takes the candy from the man. He receives a lollipop from Castiel and a few miniature candy bars. Dean tugs at the hem of his shirt, "Can you put something?" he's pointing at his thighs. "It burns."_

_Castiel nods, lifting him up and carries him down to the bathroom like hes a little toddler. "Here" he sets him on the edge of the sink, inspecting the boys red thighs, running his fingertips over the flesh lightly. "Something sting you?" he asks, Dean shrugs. "It doesn't look too serious, maybe a rash." Castiel reaches for some of his body lotion and begins to rub a quarter sized amount on each thigh until it's completely absorbed. "See. Almost good as new." he smiles down at him._

_Dean smiles weakly, not believing him. "Good as new." he repeats._

_"Dean. Please don't play outside or in the garage in your underwear. A spider or an ant can bite you." Castiel says, picking him up from the sink edge and dropping him off gently onto the floor. "You're a big boy now, you can't be in your underwear like this."_

_Dean nods as if to say okay I understand even though I wasn't playing in my underwear._

~

_Castiel's was outside in the front yard, picking up Dean's toys and dragging his bicycle by one handle bar so he can put it back in the garage. 'I've told him many times to put it away or someone will steal it.'_

_John runs out of the house, looking angry and in a rush to leave._

_Castiel asks him, "You going to work already?" he knows John does the night shift at work._

_"Yeah!" John responds, hauling out of the driveway as fast he can._

_Castiel shakes his head, he puts Dean's things away in the garage and heads back into the house. He hears the boy in his room, stomping around and throwing toys around._

_"Dean!" he yells, going to his room and gives him a concerned look. "What's wrong with you?"_

_Dean's still kicking at toys, his tantrum slowing down now that he had an audience of one. "Nothin.."_

_It's not until Castiel sees Dean's face, his cheek is really red now. Really red. His neck too. "Goodness, Dean." He gets on his knees, pulling the boy towards him and keeps him still to inspect him. "Hold still."_

_Dean keeps himself still. His eyes looking everywhere but the older man's eyes._

_"What was on your thighs is spreading, maybe you're allergic to something." Castiel says worriedly. "I'm taking you to the hospital, where I work."_

_"I don't want to go." Dean whines, stomping his foot once on the floor. "No."_

_"It could be nothing but I don't want it to get worse. Please."_

_Once Dean nods in agreement, he helps the boy put on his sneakers then grabs ahold of the boys hand so they can leave._

_At the hospital, Castiel is still holding Dean's hand. He's looking out for one of the nurses he works with when his eyes land on Meg Masters. "Meg!" he calls out to her, she turns around and she instantly lights up. Sprinting towards them._

_"Castiel, My love." She eye's the boy up and down, "Whose this? He's so cute-wait, is this the son of the guy you've been hooking up with?" she grins._

_He clears his throat, "Yeah. This is Dean. Dean, this is one of the nurses I work with. Her name is Meg."_

_Dean just smiles awkwardly at her, showing her his little teeth._

_"How old is he?" she asks._

_"Eleven." he says, guiding Dean by his shoulders to an empty room, "I need you to look at something for me._

_She follows behind Castiel, adjusting the glasses on her nose. "What am I looking at?"_

_Castiel picks the boy up to place him on the edge of the hospital bed, "He's got some kind of rash, it's on his thighs too._

_Dean quickly tries to cover his clothed legs with his hands, when Castiel assures him he won't have to show her his thighs. He relaxes._

_"What could it be?"_

_The nurse looks him over, "Does it itch?" her gloved finger, probing at his face and neck gently. Dean shakes his head in response. "It's just some irritation, It's nothing to worry about. It could be your laundry detergent or the soap you use. Unless someone's hitting him-" she says quietly, her voice dying off._

_"Don't be stupid, it's only us three in the house."_

_Meg gives the boy an all knowing look, but nods at Castiel._

_"Dean uh- doesn't have insurance." Castiel says. "I'll take care of it though."_

_"I barely did anything. You didn't even sign Dean in. You're clear." She smiles sadly, "If it spreads," she looks at Dean again, suspiciously. "Don't hesitate to come back and see me, I'll figure out what's wrong with him. Castiel nods. "Get him some Benadryl. If it is an allergic reaction, it'll help."_

_"Thanks." he smiles at her, picking Dean up again and clutching him at his side as if he was a toddler. "Have a good night." he tells her before leaving._


	8. No Boundaries

It was the weekend and Castiel didn't bother waking Dean up early. Taking care of Dean has tired him out, along with working so many hours. He works only a few days a week but they are always stressful long hours at the hospital. When John was still here, he usually took care of the outdoor chores like mowing the lawn and he usually handled the more domestic chores like laundry, cleaning and cooking as well as the grocery shopping. Now that he thinks about it, John didn't really contribute anything. He even helped Dean with his homework. Castiel figured he would wake up early and mow the lawn himself before it got too hot outside. 

Dean finally wakes up, hearing the lawn mower. _Dad!_ He's out of bed before he can even think twice about it, opening the door to see a shirtless Castiel cutting the grass. His eyes kind of water, he doesn't know why he misses him anyway. John was beyond mean to him. Among other things Dean still denies to himself. He's really glad he told Castiel most of it. There's still things...he's too nervous to share. 

Dean goes back inside, moving around the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. After looking through the cabinets and the fridge he settles on some cereal. The easiest thing he can make. He loves lucky charms. When Castiel walks in covered in sweat, and shirtless. He sees Dean at the table eating cereal from a bowl. He too was shirtless. Castiel tries not to look at his exposed skin. Dean on the other hand turns his head to look and can't help himself. He looks. His eyes wandering around Castiel's pale skin. His shoulders are covered in freckles and moles. He kinda likes it, he thinks to himself. "Hey." he says, and continues eating his cereal. 

Castiel wipes down his chest with the shirt he had taken off once he got too hot while cutting the grass. Dean looks, chewing his cereal slowly now that hes distracted. Castiel doesn't seem to act different or notice he's being watched. Maybe he's pretending. Castiel has kept his distance since he told him what happened in the past with his dad. "I'm going to take a shower." Castiel says, walking away from Dean. 

Dean swallows, _God._ He was actually starting to think about sex now. He always kinda thought it seemed gross. Two sticky bodies moving together. Everything seems so... _wet._ So gross he used to think. But Castiel isn't gross, not in the least. Dean's done with his food, he looks down and notices his boner through his shorts. _Great._ He puts his bowl in the sink and sneaks off to his room thinking he can 'rub one out' before Castiel comes out from the shower. After sitting down he takes out his phone and googles porn. He wants to watch something, to find a video that has a guy that looks like Castiel. He feels kind of guilty but he doesn't care in that moment.

He does find a video after looking for a few minutes and the guy in that video has dark brown hair and blue eyes. He's watching the video and his hand slips into his shorts, he grabs himself and starts stroking lazily. His eyes fluttering, _hmmph Cas..._ he's whimpering softly, biting his lip. After a few minutes of stroking himself, he knows he's getting close. He's feeling hot and he's been panting. Dean was so into what he was doing he completely forgot to plug in his headphones and didn't notice the video was quite loud.

And he himself, was whimpering and breathing a bit loud. _Ughh fuckkk..._ he kept moaning softly. Dean didn't even hear the knock at the door, "Dean." he kept stroking himself, so unbelievably close. 

The door to his room opened, Castiel peeked his head inside, his eyes going wide when he saw Dean jacking off. 

_Ughh....fuckk....._ Dean moaned weakly, come spilling all over his belly and his fingers. His eyes opened, instantly going wide. "Oh my God!" he's quick to grab a pillow and shields his naked crotch from the man. 

Castiel stands there like an idiot, he doesn't say anything. Dean's looking down at the pillow he's holding against himself. He's sweaty and feeling weak from coming so hard. 

"Sorry." he finally says, closing the door behind himself. 

"Oh my God." Dean sighs again, "Damn it." swallowing dryly. "My door needs a lock!" he finally screams out to the older man. 

Castiel wasn't even really mad, Dean's a growing boy. He's technically a teenager now, he can do what he wants with his own body and Dean is right - His door needs a lock. Now his mind was filled with thoughts about sex. With Dean. Castiel shakes his head. Not possible to do that with him. He's too young. He's simply hoping Dean will not go near him being his cute self, his flirty cute self. Dean has in fact flirted with him. Innocently at first, then it escalates. It always escalates. Dean's the one who wants to do more...

Dean hides out in his room all day long and finally emerges from hiding around what would be dinner time. He peeks into the living room, seeing Castiel there watching TV. He's trying to study the look in his face. Does he look angry? No. He looks like he's watching a show but not really paying attention. "What are you watching?" he asks, as if he didn't just get caught jacking off and coming all over himself earlier. 

Castiel doesn't even look at him, eyes glued to the TV. "Game of thrones." he replies. His feet crossed on top of the coffee table.

Dean bites his lip awkwardly, walking over to the couch, stepping over Castiel's letgs in order to sit down somewhat next to him. "Nerd."

Castiel is quiet, arms crossed at his chest. Eyes on the TV. Dean's studying him from the corner of his eye.

"Stop staring at me." he says after a few minutes. "There's pasta on the stove." he gestures to the kitchen "If you're hungry." 

Dean nods. It's so incredibly awkward he thinks. He feels it but isn't sure if Castiel feels awkward. He's an adult, he shouldn't care. 

"Are you mad at me?" Dean asks, "Don't ignore me please."

Castiel doesn't want look at him yet, he's so afraid after seeing Dean in that moment - mid orgasm. It's doing things to him. It shouldn't but it does. He sighs finally saying, putting the boy out of his misery. "I'm not mad, I just-" He uncrosses his legs and crosses them again. "-I don't want you to feel embarrassed."

Dean bites his lip, _fuck..._ he's feeling himself getting horny. He kinda likes when Castiel is firm with him and playing it cool.

Castiel turns to look at him finally, his eyes begging Dean- _Don't._ Knowing that he can be a brat. 

Dean speaks, "Remember when I tried to suck your dick?" his little voice raspy. "Did you like it?"

Castiel closes his eyes, swallowing. His jaw clenching. "Behave." he says.

"I like it when you act like you're my dad." Dean almost moans the confession. "You look so hot trying to be my father."

Castiel keeps his eyes clothes, not wanting to look at the boy. The fear of temptation is too big right now. 

Dean being the little shit he is, he climbs onto Castiel's lap, straddling him. His eyes fly open, his lips parted in shock. "You make such a good daddy." he mumbles quietly, rubbing his nose against Castiel's face. "Come on, daddy. Tell me to go to my room."

Castiel moans, he's never heard Dean speak like this or behave in this way. _He's the devil..._

Dean presses his little pink lips, along Castiel's jawline, kissing the stubble covered skin. "Discipline me. Please, daddy." moving down to kiss the older man's neck. 

"Ugh...." is all he can moan. Castiel's voice cracks when he tries to say something, but the boy has started to grind on his lap. Rubbing all on him. He looks up at Dean, his mouth open, panting. He can't move. He's blinking disbelief, but he can't look away from Dean above him. "D-Deeaann..." his orgasm building up quickly from the boy just grinding on him with a firm amount of pressure is bringing him over the edge. Castiel can't help it when he wraps his arms around Dean, clutching onto him for dear life. He shuts his eyes tightly, his fingers digging at the back of the boys shirt. Orgasm ripping through him and he's coming into his briefs. 

Dean slows down, he's panting. His face buried into Castiel's shoulder. Dean didn't have an orgasm, only Castiel. He thinks he's okay with that, having had one earlier. This started off just as teasing for Dean, not thinking Castiel would actually go so far as to _come in his pants. What a nerd._ He smiles though, in triumph because it was the hottest thing he's ever witnessed. This man, looking up at him like that...so submissive to him. He liked being in control for once.

He laughs awkwardly, "Kay, let go now. Can't breathe."

Castiel is still clutching onto the boy, his nails digging into the boys back through his shirt. 

Dean pushes himself up forcefully, seeing the look on Castiel's face kind of hurts him but he doesn't understand that look he has. He just had an orgasm, shouldn't he be happy? "What?" he says. 

Castiel licks his bottom lip, releasing the boy from his grasp. He shrugs. "I didn't mean to- I couldn't stop-" he gives up, wiping at his eyes quickly before a tear fell. 

Dean didn't understand why Castiel wasn't happy right now.

Castiel didn't go to work the next day, mumbled something about calling in sick to Dean when he came to his bedroom asking why he didn't wake him for school. "Sam's picking me up for school...bye." he says, closing the bedroom door. Castiel tossed and turned all day, he hadn't slept the previous night after Dean brought him to the point of orgasm. He was half humiliated but most of it was guilt. He knew he should be strong enough to stop things. Stop it from going that far but he was weak. 

By the time Dean came home from school, Castiel was still in his room. Dean gave the door a quick knock before opening it. Seeing him still laying down, he was on his back. 

"Are you-" Dean steps into the room, "-okay?" 

Castiel looks at him, giving him an unintentional bitch face. Or at least that's how he took it. "Yea." he says. 

"Are you gonna leave me too?" Dean says, jumping to conclusions already. His voice a little shaky. 

Castiel turns his side, facing away from him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh-kay..." Dean says quietly, as if he just got yelled at. 

"There's a kitchen full of food. Make yourself something." 

In that moment, Castiel was sounding a bit like his dad and that wasn't hot. John was so cold. 

"I'm sorry!" Dean whines,"It's because of what happened last yesterday?"

"These accidents can't keep happening between us." Castiel says miserably, "If someone were to find out about us, you'll be taken away from me." he turns to face him, sitting up in bed. "Don't you get that?" His tone isn't gentle right now by any means. Dean doesn't like it. He looks like hes mad but also very hurt. "Forget it. Go do your homework if you have any, and go eat something." 

"Cas-"

"Please." Castiel begs,"I'm not trying to be an asshole...Just know that I do love you. I'm trying to protect you."

Dean nods, "I wish I could control myself." he admits. "I have all these urges." he whines. 

"It's normal." Castiel says, scratching the back of his head. "We all go through it. It's puberty."

"When does it stop?"

"Never." Castiel gulps, surprising himself when he gets off the bed, walks the few steps towards Dean and crouches down to engulf the boy in a deep tongue kiss. Dean instantly whimpers, letting the man invade his mouth. "God, I love you." Castiel whispers, shoving his tongue in the boys mouth.

Dean pulls away panting, "You said we couldn't-" he hiccups silently.

"That depends." Castiel rubs the boys cheek, pushing down his guilt. "Can you keep a secret?"

Dean nods, wrapping his arms instantly around the older man's neck. That's all the confirmation Castiel needs before lifting him up, kissing him without reservation. Tongue and all. Dean wraps his legs around the man's torso to keep himself from sliding down his body.

"I love you." Dean whispers breathlessly as Castiel kisses and licks at his neck. 


	9. Curious Boy

By now Castiel is used to being awakened in the middle of the night, around three in the morning is when Dean starts crawling into his bed. At first he didn't snuggle into him, eventually he did, he'd crawl in and wrap one arm around him which made Castiel the little spoon. Until Dean turned over, Castiel followed and became the bigger spoon.

They kept sleeping like that for weeks. Nothing much happened aside from kissing and holding each other in bed. Castiel was very much still aware that he was thirteen. They built a comfortable routine in which Dean was going to school and actually getting good grades for once. His friend Sam was coming over on weekends to play video games and hangout. Even slept over a few times. That made Dean very happy. 

Castiel and Dean didn't think about John at all actually. Sometimes Dean would slip up and call him _Dad_ when he was really excited about something. He didn't mind one bit. It was the _Daddy..._ that sometimes Dean would call him, when they were together is what bothered him. He couldn't bring himself to admit it was really cute and that it got him worked up.

One night, Dean asks as they lay in bed together "Are you a top or bottom?" 

Castiel looks at him, he's got his laptop in front of him. "Excuse me?" 

"You're a bottom aren't you!" he hisses, pointing his finger at him.

"Where the hell are you learning these terms?"

"Sam asked me...if you were the guy or the girl in the relationship. He explained gay sex to me." 

"Tell him to be quiet. He's not allowed to think about stuff like that yet." Castiel grumbles.

"Does it feel good to get fucked?" Dean asks, his hands are clasped together at his lap. Looking up curiously. 

Castiel swallows, "Yeah, sometimes. Mostly, it just hurts." 

"Why don't you do the fucking?" he asks, completely serious. No hint of laughter or smiles.

Castiel is annoyed but still responds, "I usually date men who are manlier than me I guess." 

"Would I be a top or a bottom?"

"Dean shut up already..." he sighs desperately, kind of hoping one day Dean will bottom for him. Deep down he's hoping that but he will never admit it.

"Okay, okay." Dean lays back on the bed, getting comfortable. "Cas?" Castiel looks at him, nodding like he's saying _what?_ "C'mere..." he reaches up, grabbing at Castiel's shirt, pulling him down, until he's on top of him. Castiel starts breathing heavier, they both do.

"What do you want?" Castiel whispers, Deans legs fall open and wrap around him. They're both crotch to crotch now. Castiel's eyes roll back in his head before he closes them.

"Can we-" he places his little hands at Castiels face, one on each cheek. "Pretend we're having sex? Like, with our clothes on?"

"As in dry humping?" 

Dean nods, "Yeah...can we please."

Castiel looks like he's thinking it over, he agrees. Dean lays there, and Castiel starts to kiss the boys neck, his hips moving forward and back slowly. Grinding against the boy. Dean starts to make the softest sounds Castiel has ever heard, like hes desperate but enjoying what he's feeling. They aren't quite moans or whimpers. More like a mix of soft gasps and sighs. "This okay?"

"Y-yeah..." Dean whispers, his lips parted. "Don't stop.."

Castiel is grinding into him slowly, firmly. The boys eyes are fixed on the ceiling, his soft sounds filling the quiet bedroom. "Look at me." Castiel commands, Dean looks at him. Blinking up at him, his soft sounds coming a little more loudly and more often. He knows it's coming. Castiel is close too. "No, keep looking at me." Castiel orders him again,"Don't take your eyes off mine." he says lovingly. "Do you think you're gonna come?" 

Dean's blinking up at him rapidly, trying not to close his eyes as his body is tensing up. He's biting his lip so hard it's hurting him. "Uhh huhh." he half moans. Castiel traces the boys bottom lip with his thumb, pulling it free. Before he can think he slides his thumb into the boys mouth. Dean just lets him, he sucks on it. Dean is now full on moaning, his chest rising and falling quickly. 

"Dean," Castiel groans, "Come with me-" They both come at the same time, Dean accidentally bites down on Castiel's thumb. His orgasm punching through him, he begins to tremble and squirm under the man. He opens his eyes, resumes the eye contact he was told not to break. His mouth relaxes and he slowly releases Castiel's thumb. "God." Castiel sighs loudly, "Fuck."

Dean lays there speechless, he can't stop panting. His legs fall wide open at Castiel's sides, no longer wrapped around him. 

"Is that what you had in mind?" the older man asks him.

Dean licks his dry lips. "Yes." he says, no sound coming out. 

"Am I still a virgin?" Dean asks, once he's recovered. They've both showered by now too, (separately of course) and they're laying in bed again. It's past midnight.

"Yes of course you are." he looks at him. 

"I can tell you're good at sex." Dean whispers, getting shy. Dean's a lot of things, but shy isn't really one of them.

Castiel lays back on his pillow after turning off the lamp on the nightstand. "You're talking too much tonight." he says, closing his eyes.

"Do you think we will ever have sex together?" he cuddles in close, not noticing the flinch the older man gives.

"I don't know. I think you'll have moved on by the time you turn eighteen."

Dean gasps, "What do you mean?"

"I think you'll probably have a girlfriend by then-" Castiel sighs, "Or a boyfriend."

"Can't you be my boyfriend when I turn eighteen?" hes asking innocently.

"Your feelings may change by then, Dean." 

"So, you probably will have another boyfriend then?"

"I don't know." He's getting irritated but he stays calm. "I love you, goodnight." he says, his voice still gentle. 

Dean chokes up a little bit, he knows Castiel is making sense. "Love you...night."

"I'll always love you." Castiel says after a few minutes. He assumes Dean's already asleep because he doesn't say anything, only snuggles in closer.

Around six in the morning Dean's whimpering in his sleep, he's squirming a little. Castiel wakes up slowly, noticing the boy in distress. Clearly a nightmare. He moves in and kisses the boy's head, "You're okay." he's whispering softly and holds him close. "Just a nightmare."

Castiel has come to notice that this boy is always the most affectionate right when he wakes up, and right before they go to sleep. It comes to no big surprise when Dean's trying to kiss him. Castiel of course, returns the kiss. It's all lips, no tongue. Puffy sleep filled lips kissing each other in the dark. Softly making noises when they brush together. They don't try to deepen the kiss, they both keep on like that. Closed mouth, gentle pecks to their lips. 

"Morning." Dean says,"I'm sorry...I just needed you-"

"I needed you too." Castiel says, "You're so special to me, can't get enough of you." he changes the subject suddenly. "It's almost summer."

Dean smiles, "Four more weeks." slowly his smile fades. "Dad's been gone a long time...where do you think he is?"

Castiel shrugs, not wanting to hear about him. "As long as he stays gone." Dean whines, "No offense."

"S'kay...I miss him, kind of." 

"I really don't." Castiel clears his throat. "Your dad punched me once." 

Dean looks up at him, "He did?"

"He was drunk. I'm an adult, I can hold my own but- it hurt." he breathes in, "Physically and emotionally, I actually had feelings for the guy. He knew I was gay when we met."

"How did you meet?"

"At the hospital, in the ER- " he strokes the boys hair lovingly, "Some guy was yelling and almost knocked over a nurse is all I heard. Gossip you know...the nurse he was angry with was my friend Meg. Do you remember her?" Dean shakes his head, "You met her once a few years ago." That's when he nods as if saying yes now I remember. "Anyway, she told me what happened and I had to go see who this guy was."

"And you fell in lovee with him." Dean mocks, sarcastically. 

"No, but I guess I'm attracted to toxic men." he sulks, "He invited me out for a beer, even though he was already drunk. He passed out at the bar and someone called an ambulance on him." he laughs.

"Then what happened?"

"...I-I went for that beer. We became friends, John was loud and outspoken. Didn't care about anything. I was always so shy and quiet, I spent a lot of time alone." He kisses the boys head.

Dean's eyes are a bit glossy, "Did dad ask you to move in?" he asks.

"Yeah...in a way. I told John I was gay a few months into our friendship. We got really close and I think he assumed he had feelings for me too when I mentioned I may like him more than I friend. I believe he told your mom about us, how he was feeling. She left then, is what I know. According to what John told me that is." he sighs, "John was struggling a lot with money and my lease was up on my apartment so I told him what if we became room mates. It wasn't supposed to ever be more than that. John never acted on any feelings...unless he was drunk."

Dean wipes at the tears on his cheeks, doesn't even know why he's crying. Castiel soothes him by running his fingers through the boys hair.

"I was pretty surprised when John kissed me the first time."

"It wasn't romantic was it?" Dean makes a face,"He was never romantic with mom. He never even got her Valentines gifts."

Castiel smiles sadly, "Not really no. He was drinking as usual, I was trying to get him into bed and he sort of fell on me. Then kissed me."

Dean huffs a laugh, "What a dick."

Castiel laughs, not caring about his language this time. "He can be, yeah."

"What about me? did you like me at first?" his tears have now stopped.

"I thought you were so cute..." Castiel smiles fondly, pinching his belly over his shirt. Dean let out a short giggle. "I cared about you instantly."

Dean smiles, blushing. "I always thought you were awesome. A big nerd, but awesome."


	10. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback chapter. 
> 
> Warning- graphic. Mentions of abuse, phobias, mild food/eating issues.

"You're _gonna be a big boy real soon." John admires his son. He's looking down at him. Light skin, covered in freckles. They're littered across the skin of his shoulders and chest with some scattered on the bridge of his nose and on his cheeks._

_Dean looks up at his dad, not sure he knows how to speak. He hears the sound of the shower going, the water hits his back. Can't remember if the water is warm or cool. He doesn't feel it at all. The shower is blurry in his mind and they'r standing in the small space together._

_John's soaping up his chest and torso, Dean's looking up at him as he does this. "Let's play-" he says. John begins to lather Dean's chest, gently twisting and pulling at his barely there nipples. He doesn't remember it hurting him. Then he's rubbing his freckled shoulders. Suddenly, John pulls him into a hug and his hands are roaming his son's body. Tenderly, inappropriately. His large rough hands coming down low enough to squeeze his cheeks, spreading them open several times. The soapy water travels between them._

_Dean doesn't say anything. Dean doesn't even move. He remembers this like it isn't even his own memory. He just feels...Sad._

_All of his childhood, he's always felt a weird sadness. For a brief while, there was_ _a time when his father was his hero. Before any of this _ _happened._

_He remembers sitting on John's lap with his mom next to them. John Winchester fixes cars for a living, Dean used to help him start the engine and press the gas, while the car was on park to rev up the engine. His dad was was so proud of him, so young and was so confident in turning the key to start a car. John loved him so much. In the way a father should._

_When Dean was in pre- school, his little bus would drive by the auto body shop he used to work at with their uncle bobby. The boy would scream, "Dad!" from the bus window, waving. His dad would look up and smile, waving back. Those are the best memories Dean has. He doesn't know how or exactly when things changed and he doesn't understand why. Suddenly John is angry, always so angry. He's so cold to his son now. Dean tries to get close, walk up to his father while he's outside on the porch, enjoying a cold beer. John would look at him and throw his beer at him. It didn't just happen once. It happened many times during his early childhood. Having beers thrown at him, sometimes it was a glass of water._

_Dean always could tell when John was in a bad mood, he tried to run out of the house just to be dragged back inside and held down against his will. Looking up at his dad yanking off his belt to smack him with it. Several times. On his legs and thighs. He would kick and scream, his father showed no mercy._

_There were times, Dean did manage to run out of the house on time. He would go hide behind the house near the little shed they had. John always came outside looking around in the dark of the night for him with his flashlight. "Come here, boy!" Dean waited him out until he gave up and went back inside._

_Sometimes, he even ran as far as to get down the street to the Stop sign. Contemplating if he should run away but always deciding against it. He was smart enough to know he didn't have anywhere else to go._

_Dean remembers being so angry and a child, when it was just him and his mom he'd go outside to their backyard and let out a scream at the top of his lungs. He'd often lock himself in his room, crying and throwing things around making a mess. He'd break his own toys, all of this only when John wasn't around. He wanted out of there. His mom was there for him, she would cook for him and take him to the ER when he was sick. That's pretty much how she showed her love for him- if any. She never said I love you, and never played with him. Mary left him alone to play in his room often for way to long. She never seemed to be anywhere in sight when John hurt him. Dean felt so alone. He always had the urge to cry, yet he couldn't understand why._

_It came down to a point where Dean started to live in his head a little. He would day dream, day dream so often he made up a lie. This fantasy that he had another family. In this fantasy he had a mother who loved him. A mother who would play with him, read to him. Who would protect him from everything bad. He believed in this fantasy so much that he started to believe he had been switched at birth at the hospital. This life he was living had to be a mistake. He was having thoughts no child should be having. He wasn't even ten years old yet, and he already knew he wanted out of this life he had been stuck in. He lived in that fantasy for a while, until he realized his made up parents were never going to save him from his reality._

_Dean was often absent from school, not because he was sick that often but because he hated wearing the same clothes. John got him one pair of sneakers and a few outfits to last him the entire school year. Things would have been easier if his school made the kids wear uniforms. He wouldn't have gotten picked on the few times he did for it._

_He knows John hit him with his bare hand and with a belt. He knows he was yelled at many times. Hes sure of it. He knows there' more...but he can't put his finger on it. Before Mary left, he recalls her taking him to the hospital because it had been days since he'd been able to use the bathroom. Dean couldn't pee and he couldn't go number two as he called it. Dean painfully remembers getting a catheter inserted. He remembers kicking and screaming as he got suppositories inserted up his bottom. John held him down while Mary inserted them. He cried so hard._

_Dean hated going to the bathroom, this fear of the bathroom just sprung out of nowhere. He had the urge to go...but there was pain when he tried. He would hold it as much as he could and often had accidents and began to hide his underwear or throw them away._

_Dean suddenly had a fear of getting sick in any way as well. Probably because Mary only paid attention to him when he was sick, it made him sad to need her in that way. Anytime he felt sad, he felt sick and he felt both often. When he was ten, he kept needing to go to the ER for it. Turns out he had Anxiety the whole time. Dean never got medication for it. He suffered in silence and like clockwork, his mom was by his side in those moments he felt bad and despised every second of it._

_He_ _began to hide his food from his parents. Mary would give him a sandwich or a burger, he'd hide it or throw it out to their neighbors dog. He just wasn't hungry. He didn't eat at school either, just sat there during lunch time while the other kids ate theirs. Mary forced him to take those powdery flintstones vitamins to boost his appetite. They somewhat helped. He still couldn't put on much weight in those years, it made him sick sometimes._

_Dean can't for the live of him remember what candy or junk food tasted like until Castiel moved in and kept the fridge and cabinets fully stocked._

_Castiel...what a life saver he turned out to be, even if he was part of the reason why his mom left._ _When Castiel came into the picture, he was Saved._

_When Castiel came into into their lives, things got better. Not perfect- but better. Because of him he began to eat a little more, probably because the guy always brought home pizza and Mcdonald's. He came to love pizza and fries so much. Mostly because of the person that was bringing them, he always so happy to home to him. Castiel would pick Dean up in his arms when he got home from work, like a father should have. "Hey, buddy." He'd say. Dean would look into his blue eyes and see so much love in there like he was catching a glimpse of Heaven. When John came home, he'd go straight to the kitchen to grab a beer instead of checking in on him._

_The Winchester house was a bit of a disaster, the lawn was mowed which was the only thing that had been neat. The front yard was littered with Dean's toys, but that probably cheered up the place. The backyard though, looked like a junkyard hoarder heaven. Old car tires piled up on one corner of the yard, and so many car parts. All of them old and dirty, nothing to be salvaged. There was an old car parked there that looked like it was from another time, all rust and dried up. The inside of the home, was plain and basic. No decorations._

_John didn't care about what Dean wore or his personal hygiene. He didn't tell Dean to brush his teeth before bed, resulting in him having so many cavities and dentist appointments back to back. Castiel often would help Dean into the shower when John passed out drunk, "Buddy, it's time for a shower. You have school tomorrow." he'd say, determined to not let this child be the smelly kid in class._

_Every morning before Castiel went to work he made sure Dean brushed his teeth and would compliment him things like-"Looking like a rock star." ,"What a handsome devil." or "You're a real heart breaker today, buddy." as he styled the boys hair with gel. Some days Dean wanted spiky hair, other days wanted it combed to the side.  
_

_Castiel often would notice that Dean's clothes had holes in them, that is if he wasn't running around the house in his underwear. Instead of asking John to buy him clothes he took it upon himself more often than not to sneak the kid some new clothes in with his laundry. Dean would open his drawers to find a new pajama set. Sometimes new jeans, socks and tee shirts. They randomly popped up in his drawers and it feel like Christmas every time._

_Castiel was amazing at anticipating Dean's needs. There would be times Dean would come home to find a box with new school supplies. Even a new coloring book with a brand new box of crayons would be in there too for good measure. A new sweater, or pair of sneakers would appear in his closet once in a while.The kid always knew these gifts were from Castiel. When John left the house Dean would take the opportunity to run up to Castiel while he was doing dishes or watching TV, he'd hug the man from behind saying "Thanks, Cas." before running back to his room. Dean began to smile and laugh more than he used to before his arrival._

_The fun ended when John screamed, "Where the hell is he getting all this crap?" Castiel shouted back,"He needs new things!" The argument was over when John threw a plate across the kitchen, nearly missing Castiel's head. If Castiel were to think back, he would have noticed that John had been abusive to him as well._

_With their new house guest around, John wouldn't hit Dean so much and if it did happened, it happened when he was too drunk to know what he was doing. He was always spending time with his new friend, they always hung out together. On Sunday's they'd have a cook out. While grilling and making the burgers, they drank beer. Castiel's the one who would say, "Hold that thought-" and come to Dean-with a soda and a plate. Handing him an extra cheesy burger with a baked potato. "Eat up, okay?" he'd say, smiling to the point where his eyes got squinty in the sunlight._

_The only bad thing was- Castiel worked a lot. So much in fact he didn't see much of him the first half of the week. Not until Thursdays, when his four day weekend began. Dean was so happy and relieved. He'd be protected and safe for four days. Castiel would watch movies with him, would watch him while he rode his bike late at night. He's the one who would read to him from weird medical books and tuck him in at night. Dean was convinced Castiel was trying to brainwash him into following in his footsteps. He thinks he'll never have the guts to tell him he hated hospitals._

_Dean grew to love Castiel like a Dad, but more. So much more._


	11. Sweet Cherry Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean have sex for the first time.

Mmm... _Dean... So...n-good...Dea-_

Castiel stirs, he looks down to see a tent formed at his crotch, it's a rather large tent for just his morning wood. He quickly looks over to the side of the bed to see Dean wasn't laying there, lifting the covers he asks - "Dean?" Dean hums, the vibration sending small jolts through Castiel's fully erect cock.

"Dean. What the hell, stop it-" Of course he doesn't 'stop it', the brat keeps going. His smaller hands are gripping each of the older man's thighs, kneading at the meaty flesh there. Castiel's mouth hangs open, he's struggling to breathe and can't help but think how beautiful the boy looks down there, sucking his cock. Well, the head mostly but he's sucking as if it were a melting Popsicle on a hot Summer day. 

Dean's whimpering, moaning. He tries to take the mans fat cock deeper into his mouth- and fails every time. All he can get down is a little over the head of it. The sounds that are coming from the boy's mouth on a dick are pure heaven. They're such innocent sounds. Dean pulls off, his eyes looking up to Castiel - there's a string of saliva from his bottom lip connected to Castiel's cock. Castiel on instinct, reaches forward to wipe the boy's bottom lip with his thump to clean him up. "Cas..." he whispers, and goes back down to try again. He's sucking his cock, going a little deeper and moans deeply when he can get another inch down.

Castiel groans loudly, almost like an animal. He reaches behind his head to grab onto the bars of the headboard, needing to hold on. This was the first time he was going to allow the boy to suck him off until he comes. "Dean-you're such a good boy..." and he does, he comes powerfully with such force. Unable to control his moaning. 

By the time Castiel looks down, he sees Dean resting his head at his thigh. His shoulders are heaving up and down too violently for just being out of breath. He sits up urgently, running his fingers through the boy's short- sweat slicked hair, "Whats wrong, Dean?" when he doesn't get a response he grabs him by the shoulders gently and urges him to sit up to look at him. "Talk to me."

Dean swallows, "Don't ever call me a good boy again." he wipes at his barely wet eyelashes and gets up off the bed. "You don't get to call me that. Not you." with that, he leaves the room towards the bathroom Castiel assumes, hearing the shower running almost immediately. _Why is he upset...he started this..._ Castiel wasn't going to accept that, he needed answers. He loved Dean so much, he wasn't going to let him be upset over him. 

He knocks on the bathroom door before walking inside, "We need to talk." opening the shower curtain. Dean's standing there, bubbles all over his body and his hair sticking up almost in a Mohawk. 

"Dude, what the fuck." the kid reaches down to cup his privates, "Personal space."

Castiel - still high off his orgasm, gets slightly pissed off. "Excuse me? I believe I taught you about personal space. YOU-" he points his index finger at Dean. "-started this whole thing between us."

Dean rolls his eyes, "So, what if I did?" 

"Are you mad about what just happened?" Castiel asks him, trying to sound calm "I know I always stop you, If you pulled this off with me while I was awake I wouldn't have let it get that far-"

"To the point of cumming in my mouth? You didn't even warn me-" Dean looks down at the shower drain and spits,"-I had to swallow all of it." 

Castiel feels guilty, he himself looks down at the shower where Dean spit. "I'm sorry."

"It was disgusting, Castiel." 

At that, Castiel looks at him in shock. Dean's never called him Castiel. When they had first met Dean couldn't pronounce Castiel, he could only say _Cas_ _,_ and the nickname stuck around. Castiel loved it, no one ever called him that before.

"What are you saying-" The older man asks.

Dean in his teenage anger responds, "I'm saying we're done."

Castiel takes a step back, "What?"

"I don't like the way it tastes. Get out before I throw up." Dean pulls back the curtain to cover himself behind the shower and Castiel hears him spit again.

"Fine." Castiel walks out of the bathroom, he's a grown man and would never admit to anyone that he really wanted to cry in that moment.

This was enough for Castiel to want to move out and leave, to never come back. He was so ridden with shame and guilt that this would have drove him out of the Winchester home though he could never leave Dean. 

~

"Hey nerd." Dean says, as both he and his friend Sam walk through the door from school. "Hey. NERD. I'm talking to you." He says louder when he's ignored by the older man sitting at the kitchen table, typing on his laptop. Castiel looks up, his black rimmed glasses barely on the tip of his nose. 

Sam elbows him, "Why are you so mean? He's cool." 

Castiel smiles, having heard Sam's compliment. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "Hello. Sam, would you like something to eat?"

Sam perks up and whispers, "Yes, please." he walks close to the man and looks up at Castiel in amazement when he places his hand on his shoulder, "W-we're very hungry, Mr. Novak. We didn't eat much at school today. We had some kind of weird meat thing-" and loses track of what he's saying when his shoulder is squeezed.

Dean's shaking his head, noticing how his friend is freaking blushing at the older man's attention. "Sam. C'mere." Sam comes to him until he's standing next to him again, he looks over Sam to see Castiel going to the fridge to take out things for sandwiches. He tugs on the collar of Sam's shirt, pulling him closer until their noses almost touch. "What do you think you're doing?"

Sam's hazel green eyes widen, "Nothing?"

Dean smiles in a way he hopes is hiding his jealousy. "I saw you blushing."

Sam searches Dean's face, he's so confused. "The guy is like your step dad-"

"You have a crush on Cas?" he asks gently, when he doesn't get a response fast enough he pulls his friend closer. "Do you?"

Sam blushes, "I don't know..."

Dean shakes him almost violently for a second, "Do you know how old he is?" he grits out. Just because he didn't want Castiel in that moment, doesn't mean he wasn't jealous.

Castiel comes looking for them, catching them in the act of whatever it was they were doing. "I made some sandwiches, come eat."

Dean lets go of his friend, straightening his shirt for him.

"Yes, Mr.Novak." Sam blushes, following the man into the kitchen, sitting at the table.

"Yes, Mr. Novak-" Dean mocks in the nastiest jealous tone. 

"We're gonna eat in my room." Dean says, hand placed on his friends shoulder. "That cool?"

Castiel smiles, his shoulders moving slightly. He's already caught on that Dean's jealous. Any previous hurt he had is now fading. "You can do whatever you want, Dean."

"Damn straight." He pulls Sam up by the back of his shirt and Sam grabs a few sandwiches before he's pulled into Dean's room.

"What the hell dude!" Sam's breathless, "Are you fighting with Cas?"

"Something like that." Dean kicks his trashcan once, "The fucker thinks he can tell me what to do. Fucking thinks he's the boss of me." he's pacing around his room, "Fucking-"

Sam looks at him, studying him. "What?"

"I _blew_ him." Dean admits, in a soft whisper. The walls in his house are paper thin.

San purses his lips, trying not to laugh.

"Sammy!" he pushes his friend gently, "Shut the fuck up!"

Sam busts out laughing now, falling on Dean's bed hysterical with laughter. "Oh my God!"

Dean tries not to laugh himself but he kept help it, when he sees his best friend dying on his bed. "Shut up, Sammy." he repeats.

Sam straightens up, fanning himself as he tries to calm down. "Sorry." Dean sits next to him, looking at the floor. "What's it like?" he asks. 

_That little shit.._

Dean bites his bottom lip, "Not gonna lie..." he sighs, his dick starting to fatten up in his jeans. "It's kinda hot..."

"Yeah?" Sam asks.

Dean nods, his eyes closing as he recalls the memory. "It's sexy. Sammy, the way he breathes when I sucked him off...my God." he bites his lip again.

Sam looks down at the floor now too, blushing slightly as he listens to his friend speak.

Dean swallows, his eyes still closed. "The sounds he makes...Sammy, they're so hot-" he shivers, "Fuck."

"Did you taste it- You know..."

Dean stiffens, "Yeah, that's the gross part."

"Some people like it-"

"Don't tell me you've-" Dean gestures a blowjob motion with his hand, "No fucking way! who?" he asks, shoving his friend playfully.

"My...neighbor, he's a few years older than us."

Dean smiles. "Fucking fag." 

"Hey, you too. " They both laugh then. "Why are you mad at him though?"

Dean shrugs, "I have mixed feelings. I want him so bad, then I get angry and fuck up."

"Hormones." is all Sam says, and picks up his sandwich and eats.

After they eat, they do their homework together and as soon as they are done he and Sam are saying their goodbyes at the front door. He waves bye at his friend and his mom, who came to pick him up. Once the door is closed he makes his way to the living room, "Hey." he sits next to Castiel.

All to soon the man stands up, "I better get to bed." and walks to his room.

"Cas. Wait!" Dean hisses, "I'm sorry!" he practically clings to the older man's arm. 

Castiel stops once they're in his room, "Yes?"

Dean bites his lip, feeling up Castiel's arm and eyeing the muscle there. "Sorry..." 

"My eyes are up here." The boys eyes shoot up to meet his. They're so full of confusion and arousal. "That really hurt my feelings, what you said. You said I tasted disgusting." he peels the boy off himself and goes to lay back in bed.

"I know...I'm just-" Dean groans covering his face. "I'm horny all the fucking time and I wish I wasn't. My God."

Castiel says cooly, "What am I supposed to do about that? We're done."

Dean whines, climbing up on the bed Castiel used to share with his father. "Cas, please." Dean whines softly, begging. "We're not done. I need you."

Castiel's sighs, bringing the boy in close to his body. Dean instantly melts into him. "Your body feels different." Dean studies him, feeling his chest. "Since when do you work out?" his hands are grabbing at Castiel's upper arms to feel some more.

Castiel looks away shyly, "I felt ugly."

Dean's hand finds it's way to the older mans crotch, rubbing over his sweatpants. It's like he didn't realize he started doing it. "Cas, You're hot..."

Castiel looks at him again, "I am?"

Dean nods, "I just- it tastes different than what I thought." he admits and he begins to palm Castiel's cock.

Castiel licks his lips, "I can handle the taste." 

"No bragging."

"I'm not. Can I taste yours?" Castiel asks, in a way that almost makes him sound like a teenager himself.

Dean gulps, "But it's gross."

Castiel shakes his head, "I'm used to it." he quickly grabs Dean and flips them over, so that Dean is now laying on his back. His head propped on his pillow. "I'll love how you taste."

Dean starts panting, "Cas..." hes trying to object to having the man taste him, but he's already pushing his jeans and boxers down to his knees, Castiel helping pull them off the rest of the way. 

"I need your permission." Castiel says, "I don't want you angry with me. We still need to talk about what happened the other day."

Dean nods weakly, "Yes...and kay." His eye's almost bug out of his head when Castiel spreads his legs open and lifts him up a bit and now he's almost bent in half. "Ugh, Cas-"

"Just relax, Dean." Castiel presses tiny kisses to the back of the boys thighs and he instantly moans, he moves up until he reaches Dean's pink hole, "Relax." Dean nods quickly. Castiel presses a kiss to his hole, it twitches.

"What the fuuck..." Dean complains, his mouth hanging open. "What was that-" Castiel begins to lap the the hole, lightly, alternating between kisses and licks. "Oh my- Fuckk...What-" Dean swore it felt like Castiel was french kissing his asshole, he opened his eyes wide enough to look at him and yes, he was. "Awwwhhh-oh-fuck-" 

Castiel smiles, he really is french kissing Dean's hole and he's loving it. Loves how he tastes like oatmeal body wash. "You taste so good." he moans against his skin.

Dean's eyes are rolling back in his head, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. By now he's holding up his own legs, has them hooked between his arms. If only he was able to open himself up more for Castiel. "Uh my Go-o-o-ddd-ddd- 

Castiel smiles, looking at Dean's hole twitching and glistening with his saliva. Without thinking he brushes his thumb over the twitching hole, Dean's whole body buckles for a second as if asking for it. "May I?" he asks, Dean opens his eyes to look, he nods. Castiel licks his thumb, then presses it gently over the boys hole. He's so surprised when the whole actually allows entry. "Fuck, Dean."

Dean hiccups, looking down at Castiel. 

Castiel lets his thumb sink deeper, over and over, he sort of fucks Dean with it. He's gentle of course. 

Dean whines in pleasure, "Can you fuck m-" he asks unsure of himself, that's when Castiel dives in, licking and kissing his way into the boys mouth. He pulls away quickly to push his sweatpants and briefs down to his thighs, his erect cock springing out. Dean looks at it, "Please?" 

Castiel nods, then asks "Are you sure you want to do this?" to make sure he really wants this to happen. Dean nods, Castiel reaches over to the nightstand to grab the small bottle of lube that's been there for so long. It's only been used once. He squeezes some into his hand and strokes his cock a few times, Dean looking at him stroking it, longingly. "Dean. Relax."

The boy's eyes snap up to look up into his eyes, he starts squirming impatiently and whimpering. 

"Shh-" he rubs his sticky hand over the back of his thigh as if to soothe. Dean still keeping himself spread open. Castiel takes in a sharp breath, it looks like he's more nervous than Dean is. 

Castiel pushes the head of his cock against Dean's twitching hole, he swears it's pulling him inside. "Fuck, Dean.." he rasps, the head pops in, he watches for signs of pain in the boys face.

Dean's eyes are wide open, he's looking up at him. "Tell me you're okay, Dean. Please." Castiel pleads. The boy fucking sighs, biting his lip. Castiel breathes in, seeing he's not in pain. Castiel began to fuck into the boy slowly, only about two inches inside of him. _In and out... In and out._ The sound of air escaping Dean's hole clearly audible at times when he pushed in. 

Castiel watched all the faces he made, Dean's never looked so... _relaxed,_ his lips looked so pink right now, Castiel leaned in close to kiss him. Only then Dean opened his eyes for the first time since Castiel's cock has been inside his ass. He kissed him back, eyes lazily open. "I love you." Dean whispered, in the softest voice. "Love y-you-UGH-" he closed his eyes tightly, his hole was tightening up around the cock head inside him. His eye's rolled back, "Ugh, Cas-"

"What is it?" Castiel asked, his thrusts slowing a bit. 

Dean let go of his legs, reaching for Castiel and holds onto him, Castiel leans forward, snuggling into his neck. His hands now placed where Dean's knees bend, holding them up. "Ugh-" he blinks, looking up and keeps the eye contact as he gets pounded. "Ugh..nn-" 

Castiel quickens his pace, he's still only two inches inside the boy but it's enough. They're both enjoying it. He knows this because Dean is looking up at him, with a look of awe in his face. it's clear by the constant sighs and gasps that escape his lips.

"Ughh, Caa-sss-" he stutters, he notices the boy's legs start to tremble. "Oh-Fuck, CAS!" Dean squeals suddenly, digging his fingers into Castiel's back. "Ugh, CAS!" Dean squeals again, thin ropes of white come shoot out of him, coating his belly and chest.

Castiel pulls out slowly once the boy below him has calmed down, making sure his own orgasm doesn't hit inside of Dean this time. He strokes himself quickly until he comes, spilling onto the fleshy parts of Dean's inner thighs. Castiel groans softly, trying not to take away the boy's spotlight. It was his first time, this was about him. 

"Dean, look at me." Dean looks at him, "This is how much I love you." Castiel leans forward, using the flat of his entire tongue to lick up the white sticky come, for a new teenager it was a lot of come. Castiel was surprised, but he lapped up every bit of it. Taking his time until he couldn't see any more left on the boys skin. 

Dean squeaked, his whole body seemed to be twitching. Every time Castiel licked at his tummy, his body gave a twitch. He sighed deeply, "Ugh.."

Castiel inched closer to the boys mouth, "This is how good you taste-" before he could protest he gently enveloped him into a deep kiss. Tongue and all. Dean moaned, despite the taste of his own come on Castiel's tongue.

Dean pulled away, moaning. "Ugh...gross, but it's kinda hot." he bit his lip. He was now looking down at the mess Castiel left on his thighs as if wanting to try to taste him again. Castiel got some on his finger, and putting it to his lips. Dean opened his mouth without a fight, sucking on the mans finger. "Mmmm..." he moaned, sucking it clean. 

Castiel smiled, "I thought it tasted gross." 

Dean shook his head, looking down at the mess as if saying _more please ..._


	12. Pink panties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean surprises Castiel by wearing pink lace panties, they have sex again. Minor flashback to Dean's 12th birthday.

It's Saturday morning and Castiel is getting ready for work, Dean pops into the bathroom with him while hes brushing his teeth. "Hey, Dean." he says, Dean smiles at him and starts looking around the bathroom. He begins to play around with some of Castiel's things that lay on the sink counter. Castiel rinses his mouth and grabs the bottle of his cologne from Dean's fingers before he drops it by accident, "What's up?" grabbing at each item and placing it on his side of the sink so there's nothing for him to play with.

Dean finally looks up at him and his heart feels like it wants to break. "What's wrong?" All the boy does is hug him tightly and cries uncontrollably, "Please talk to me."

"I'm gonna miss you." 

Castiel peels him off, "I'm just going to work-" he wipes at his tears as they fall, "-I'll be back."

Dean wraps his arms around his waist again, resting his chin on his chest and looks up at Castiel. "I don't want you to go..." he's almost clawing at him.

Castiel's phone starts ringing loudly in the kitchen, "Shit!" he peels Dean off once again and runs for it, answering the call "Hello?" 

Dean follows him, hugging him from behind. He presses his body up against the older man.

"I'll be there soon." he says, hanging up the call. "Dean. What's gotten into you?" Castiel turns, "Tell me."

Dean doesn't know what's gotten into him, he just knows now that they had sex all he wants is to be close to Castiel. "I love you." he whispers.

Castiel gets down on his knee, "I love you too, did I hurt you last night?" 

Dean shrugs, "No... but, I- ugh!" he stomps his foot once on the floor as if he was a five year old. 

Castiel rubs Dean's cheek tenderly, "I know how you feel and I feel it too. I don't want to be away from you either-" he kisses his bottom lip quickly. "But I have to go to work."

Dean nods, "I understand-" but all of a sudden he feels angry and opens his mouth to say something stupid-

Castiel senses it coming and kisses him, plunging his tongue in his mouth to silence him. They make out slowly but deeply for a minute.

Dean breaks the kiss, still in a mood. "Get out of here before I kick your ass for leaving me."

Castiel laughs, "I'm so scared." he stands, grabbing his things as he heads for the door.

Dean follows him, arms crossed at his chest. Castiel hugs him goodbye for the day, "Bye asshole." Dean slams the door and tries to keep his game face on long enough for him to leave. Soon as he hears the car leave, he breaks down crying. _Why the fuck am I crying..._

Castiel arrives home a little later than he thought. Okay, a lot later. It's almost two in the morning and he hopes Dean won't be too angry. When he goes to work, he always leaves food in the fridge for him for the entire day. The cabinets are always stocked too. He really hates leaving Dean alone, almost feeling horrible that he's thirteen and stays home alone. Shouldn't Dean have a babysitter? or is he old enough to be alone? when he was thirteen he was alone at home all the time, but that was a different era.

He does a quick sweep through the house and can't find Dean, "DEAN!" he roars like a lion, "Where are you!?"

Dean pads into the room, his hair looking extra fluffy like it's been freshly washed. "What-" he rasps, clearly having been asleep.

"Where were you?"

"Uh, In my room?" he answers, confused.

Castiel blushes.

Dean smiles, "Loser, you thought I'd be asleep in your bed."

"No, I didn't." Castiel goes to his room, slipping out of his scrubs.

"Do you want me naked on the bed when you come home-" Castiel looks at him, his face and neck blazing red with embarrassment. "Like this-" Dean climbs up on the bed, bending over in 'doggy style' position, "so you can pound my ass-"

Castiel doesn't know if he should be angry or not, but he can't help the laugh that comes out of him. "You're really cute you know that."

Dean smiles, "Yea I know."

Castiel lets himself fall on the bed, on his stomach. "Long day." his eyes drift shut. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Dean lays on his stomach as well, his face pressing into the made bed-facing Castiel, "How was your day?" Castiel's eyes flew open, not once has Dean ever asked how his day was. It was nice.

"My day was long but I'm happy to be back home with you." he whispers back, they both close their eyes and fall asleep like that.

~

_"Dean, make a wish and blow out the candles." Castiel smiles warmly, there's a big batman decorated cake on the kitchen table in front of them. It's all blue frosting with a black Batman symbol in the middle, black icing spelling out 'Happy birthday Dean'- "Come on, please?" he gets on his knees next to the birthday boy who is sitting at the table._

_Dean crosses his arms, staring at the candles in the shape of a 1 and 2. He turned twelve today and his dad wasn't there. "He should be here." he kicks a foot under the table, hitting nothing. "He promised." a stray tear rolling down his cheek._

_Castiel sighs, "I know he did, but we can't let that ruin your day. Come on, make a wish." he gets up and stands behind the boy, resting his hands on Dean's shoulders to encourage him. "Blow."_

_Dean shuts his eyes, thinks of a wish, then blows out the candles with force._

_Castiel claps lamely, "Happy birthday!"_

_Dean rolls his eyes, "Why are you yelling? It's just us. If I knew he wasn't going to be here I would've invited my friend to come."_

_Castiel ignores him, he's already slicing the blue and black cake, giving the boy the bigger slice. "Please eat some, I paid extra for the Batman theme."_

_Dean smiled sadly, "Thanks." he picks up his fork and starts eating. It really was good cake. "I love it-" he mumbles, his mouth full. There's blue frosting that's made it's way to his cheek and black frosting staining the bottom of his lip black. Castiel wipes it off with his thumb. "Thanks." the boy mumbles again._

_"What did you wish for Dean?"_

_"If I tell you it won't come true." Dean rolled his eyes. They sat there in silence eating cake, until it was time for presents. Dean wasn't at all surprised when all the gifts were from Castiel, none from his father. "This is awesome, Thanks, Cas." he gives him a lame thumbs up. Castiel runs his hands through the soft spiky_ hair _Dean has._

_Not long after the cake and presents John came home. Dean's father takes one look at him and says "Seriously Castiel? The boy's a mess." Castiel looks at Dean and sees how his cheeks and lips are stained black and blue from the cake, he simply says- "It's his birthday, who cares." and pinches the boy's cheek. "Have some cake." he invites him but John waves him off. He looks back to Dean who looks like he might cry. "It's okay, Dean. Let's go get you cleaned up."_

_Castiel's helping Dean into the shower and Dean stands there cupping his privates so the older man won't see. He faces upwards so the water from the shower head can hit him in the face._

_"He ruins everything.." Dean says softly, grabbing the washcloth Castiel hands him and he begins scrubbing at his face and upper body with it._

_Castiel smiles sadly, "Things will get better."_

~

"Can we go already?" Dean asks Castiel, they're in the middle of the grocery store shopping. 

Castiel's pushing the shopping cart, Dean following behind him like a puppy as he searches for the things he needs. "In a minute."

"Castiel!" a familiar female voice calls out to him, both Dean and Castiel look around almost violently as if they got caught doing something they shouldn't.

"Meg, it's you-" He sighs in relief once he sees the all too familiar nurse with loose curls walking over his way. "It's nice to see you outside of the hospital setting."

She hugs Castiel tightly, "Oh, Castiel stop." She looks over to Dean now, "My, he's gotten so big since I last saw him."

Dean makes a face at her, his hand going to rest on his tummy. 

Castiel notices, "She means you got taller." he reassures the boy, cupping the back of the boy's neck to keep him in place.

Meg smiles, after a few minutes of chatting she says "Well you boys, I have to get going. Dean, you're so cute It's too bad I don't get to see you more often." she moves in close to squeeze at his cheeks annoyingly. Dean makes another face at her and seeks shelter behind Castiel, peeking out at her.

"Bye Castiel, Bye Dean." she walks away.

Castiel starts pushing the shopping cart without saying anything about the encounter, grabbing at the last few items on his shopping list. Dean follows a few feet behind him, he's still feeling at his stomach, not caring that he's in public and can be seen. His hand is roaming underneath his shirt, feeling his stomach and sides. 

Castiel looks back at him, "What are you doing?"

Dean pulls his hand out from underneath his shirt. "I was just scratching-."

Castiel studies him for a few seconds, "Well, we're in public so don't. Come on, we have everything." After Castiel pays for their groceries he then drives to get some coffee at Starbucks on their way home. He orders an Iced coffee for himself and a Frappuccino for Dean, their usual when they went out together. 

They get home and unload the groceries, Castiel does all the work himself. Dean is looking into space, his brows furrowed in a complex look. "Dean?" he asks, noticing he hasn't touched his drink. "I got you the chocolate one, you love this one."

Dean looks at it, taking the cup from Castiel. He takes a reluctant sip. "Thanks. I don't want these anymore, they make my stomach hurt." is all he says before walking away to his room with the drink.

Castiel sits on the couch after putting away everything, he opens his laptop to surf the web. Dean's been in his room a while now, he drank half of the blended beverage and tossed the rest of it in the trashcan in his room completely forgetting that Castiel takes out his trash and would end up finding the discarded drink sooner or later. It's not long before Castiel knocks on his door asking if he's hungry, he knows if he says no that he would make a big deal so he says yes. "Yeah, but I'm gonna eat in here." 

Castiel returns and enters his room with a plate for him after a few minutes, Dean sees a grilled cheese sandwich and some chips. "Thanks." he takes the plate, it's almost as if he suspects something because Castiel doesn't leave and just stands there, studying him. "What?" he says after he took a bite of the grilled cheese. 

"You're not fat." 

Dean rolls his eyes, "I know." he shoves two chips in his mouth. After a minute he says, "Am I attractive?"

Castiel kissed the top of his head, "You are and soon all the girls will start following you around-" he reassures him.

The boy cuts him off- "Am I chubby?" he lifts his shirt to reveal his little tummy, then looks up at Castiel.

"Dean, No you're not-"

"Then why did that nurse chick say I was big?"

"Dean, she hasn't seen you in a few years. You've grown, that's all she meant."

"Okay." he whispers, "I'm gonna finish eating then I'm gonna call Sam."

Castiel kisses the top of his head again, "If you need anything, you know where to find me." Once the door to his room closed, he did not call Sam. He took one more bite of his grilled cheese and tossed the rest in his trash can. 

It's midnight and he puts away his phone, unable to sleep. He can still hear the TV in Castiels room. Dean gets up and goes to his backpack and pulls out a pair of pale pink lace panties. He stole them from his friend Charlie a while back when he was at her house for a school project. Why? he has no clue. Dean brings the panties to his nose and inhales, they're brand new. He's being a fucking perv but he could care less. He begins to pace around his room, rubbing the panties against the skin of his cheek until he gets the sudden urge to try them on. 

Dean strips off his shorts and boxers, kicks them out of the way. After taking a deep breath he pulls on the panties, the back part is a little uncomfortable since it's a thong. "Chicks really like these?" he asks himself, picking at the wedgie he's got. Dean goes to his mirror and checks himself out, he pulls off his shirt too and now stands completely naked there, wearing a lace thong. He appreciates that it's a thicker type of thong. Being the shit he is, he goes to Castiel's room. Knocks a few times.

Castiel doesn't hear him over the TV so he opens the door enough to peek his head in, that's when he notices him and turns off the TV. "Are you okay?"

Dean smiles, he's trying so hard not to laugh. "Yeah, Um. Can I show you something?"

Castiel nods, he's sitting up in bed with his back pressed to the headboard. 

Dean opens the door and allows himself inside, Castiel's face is priceless. The man is blushing instantly, he's shirtless so Dean can see how his neck and shoulders match his face. 

"Dean, what the hell-"

Dean turns around to show off his bubble butt, he shakes his butt a little. He's completely doing this for humor and comedic purposes because he's a funny ass kid. He wants to make Castiel laugh. But Castiel isn't laughing, he looks back at him over his shoulder to see his reaction and the man is biting his lip. "What? You like this? Huh, Cas." 

"Why don't you come over here?" Castiel asks, "Let me see you."

Dean walks over to him and Castiel turns him around by his shoulders so he can see his ass again. The man groans, he gives a squeeze. To his surprise, he liked it. "Fucking gorgeous.." Castiel complements, giving him a gentle spank. Dean gasps. "Fucking love this, Dean-" Castiel's breathless, his large hands squeezing Dean's fleshy cheeks. 

Dean gasps again when he's thrown on the bed on his stomach, Castiel starts to devour Dean's bubble butt with wet sloppy and loud kisses. Dean's mouth hangs open, making little hitched gasps. 

Castiel hooks his finger on the lace thong and pulls it to the side, using his thumbs to spread open the boy's ass cheeks to reveal the pink hole. He blows lightly on it and it twitches, "God-" Dean groans, Castiel's keeps rubbing his cheeks, spreading them open and looks at the pink hole appear and disappear and he does. "Do something..." 

Castiel pulls the thong down to the boys thighs, gets closer to the hole and starts lapping at it hungrily. All tongue. After all, he recently found out that he loves to tongue fuck Dean. Dean's all garbled moans and whimpers, his hands turned into fists at his sides "Ugh, fuck fuck fuck- "

Castiel smacks his butt, Dean shuts up. "I love this-" he kisses his butt, "It's fucking mine now, do you understand me?" he says it in a possessive tone.

Dean nods aggressively, "Yea, fucking yours-" Castiel gently probes the hole with his middle finger, seeing if it will pop in and it does, it slides right in. "Ugh, fuck-" Dean sighs, the finger slowly fucking in and out. Dean moves around a little trying to get comfortable, he settles on his knees, his head shoved into the mattress - his ass up in the air for Castiel. 

"Dean..." Castiel sighs roughly, he's in awe of the little ass just displayed for him. He pulls Dean towards the edge of the bed so he can get closer, he's standing behind him. Kneading at his exposed flesh, "Round two?" he asks him for permission. The boy nods, almost crying. Castiel forgets he has lube so he uses his saliva instead, he strokes his hard cock for a few seconds, rubbing his wet fingers on the hole to lube it up as much as he can and pushes the head against the hole and it pops in easily. "Dean, with you...it's so fucking easy to get in."

Dean moans, and it almost sounds like a porn star. "Cause I love you.." he says breathlessly. 

"I love you too-" he goes no further than two inches just like last time, he fucks into him slowly and gently before Dean is urging him on. He starts backing up and fucking himself on his cock, "Don't hurt yourself-" he warns. Dean ignores him, still fucking back and loving it. Castiel enjoys the view, seeing the boy's bubble butt bouncing against him. 

Dean accidentally pushes back too far and yelps, "Sorry..." he whispers, "I'll listen to you.."and stays still, letting the older man behind him do the work.

Castiel's hand roams up and down the boy's back gently, soothingly. "I'm really trying not to hurt you."

"I know, just- Fuck." Dean bites his lip, Castiel pushes his cock in a little further- he's now taking in three thick inches. "Ugh..."

Castiel smiles and laughs softly "I know baby, I know you love it." 

Dean punches the bed, "Shut upp...fuck-God, why's it so fucking good-" Castiel changes the angle only slightly and before Dean knows it he squeals and he's spilling his come thickly on the bed under him. Dean's a moaning and squirming mess, he can't shut up or keep still. Castiel loves every second of it.

"Ugh, Cas-" he whines, biting his lip so hard to keep himself from moaning even more. "What did you do to me?" he shudders, falling into his mess on the bed. Castiel starts to fuck into him yet again, chasing his own orgasm. "CAS. UGH-" the boy moans, his eyes rolling back in his head. Dean's making all sorts of new noises, they sound like cries and choked sobs. He keeps moaning "Oh fuck-" weakly each time Castiel fucks into his tight hole. 

Before he comes, Castiel pulls out carefully and spills all over Dean's exposed back. "Fuck." he groans, once his orgasm has passed he slides the head of his cock back into Dean's hole. 

"The fuck-" Dean's jaw clenches, he grips at the bedspread under him to hold on. "Cas, I got nothing left!" he shrieks.

"I think there's more in you-" Castiel fucks into him at his newly discovered angle, and Dean is coming yet again. He cries out and this time, they both came together. 

Dean taps the side of the bed, "Enough-" he moans desperately and broken, "Fuck." It's not long before Castiel hears him crying, this time he knows it's not because of pleasure. "C-Cas-"

Castiel rolls him over so he's on his back, he knows he's going to have to change the bedding before they can sleep. "Did I hurt you?" he asks him, feeling a little guilty that he got so carried away.

Dean looks beyond fucked out, "You know I'm thirteen, right?"

Overcome with guilt he takes a look down at his his spent cock and he starts biting one of his nails nervously when he notices the tiniest bit of red. _Blood..._ He begins to panic internally, ignoring the boy next to him.

"Cas?" Dean sits up and winces, "I'm not mad-" he puts his hand on the older mans shoulder.

Castiel looks at him, worry in his eyes. "Stand up."

Dean gives him a confused look, "Huh?" but does as hes told.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Dean nods, and he helps him to the bathroom- running the bath for him. "Get in." he says, almost clinical and Dean can't stand it. Not after they just had sex. 

"Cas?" he asks again, Castiel is too busy looking at the water in the tub. _No red... No blood..._ he sighs in relief. "CAS!" Dean yells, he snaps out of it.

"I'm sorry..." Castiel looks down, "I thought you were bleeding."

Dean runs his hand behind himself, over his hole. When he looks at it he sees a little bit of pink, "Cas, what the fuck-" he chokes out and in a panic starts to splash water at himself, hoping it stops.

"Dean, I'm sorry-" he pleads, getting on his knees and he grips the edge of the tub. "I'm so sorry."

Dean keeps splashing water on himself, ignoring the mans pleas. He's more concerned about his asshole than anything else. There seems to be no more pink or red anywhere, "Calm down, Cas. I'm fine." 

"I'm so sorry, I'll be more careful-" Castiel hugs him, kissing his cheek, "I'm sorry I got carried away."

Dean sighs, "I was a virgin Cas, there was bound to be blood." when Castiel looks at him, he smiles hoping to make him feel better. "It wasn't that much, okay?"

Castiel nods, "I feel horrible." almost on instinct, he grabs a washcloth and begins to bathe Dean like he used to a few years ago. Dean takes the washcloth so he can finish cleaning himself up. 

"When do I get to fuck you?" Dean grins, splashing water at the older man.

Castiel winces, "You want to fuck me?" 

Dean shrugs, "I think it would be hot...you moaning like a bitch. Mine isn't as big as yours but I'll do my best to fuck you." 

Castiel blushes, still consumed with guilt. "I guess it's only fair."

Dean grabs the towel on the hook and begins to dry himself off, stepping out of the tub. "Don't worry Cas, it's not like my dick can hurt you." he laughs.

Castiel laughs nervously, "Uhm Dean?"

Dean looks back at him, he was about to exit the bathroom. "Yea?"

"You're not as small as you think you are." Castiel looks down at Dean's exposed cock, "For your age, it's pretty big."

Dean's mouth gapes open, "Are you serious?" he had no clue what was big or small, he assumed he was on the smaller side because Castiel's was so large compared to himself.

Castiel bites his lip, "Yeah."

"Cas, you're getting fucked." Dean points a finger at the older man before leaving the bathroom. 


	13. Bowlegs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tops Castiel for the first time.

"Dean-" he holds up the trashcan to the boy so he can see, "Why are you tossing food?"

Dean swallows, looking up at Castiel from where he lays in bed, a comic book in his hands. The man had come into his room to straighten up and take out the trash as he usually did once a week because he knows he sure as hell won't do it himself. "Dunno." is all he says, his eyes going back to skim though the comic book.

Castiel sighs, taking the trash with him to get rid of as he leaves the room.

~

Now that Summer was in full effect and Dean wasn't in school, he and Sam had been spending almost every day together. In order to be home more for the boy he had begun working shorter days at the hospital and that left him feeling left out and lonely. But Dean was happy spending all day with his best friend, Castiel would hear them laughing together in his room as they did God knows what. Dean didn't have a TV in his bedroom, only a laptop. He assumes they were online looking up stuff they shouldn't be. 

It's almost sunset, Dean and Sam are outside playing basketball. Castiel's sitting on the front porch keeping an eye on them, he's pretending to read the book on his lap but he really is watching the boys play. He notices that Dean seems to be almost as tall as his friend Sam and now almost as _thin._ Castiel never worried about Sam's thin frame, the boy ate so much when he was over. But Dean...when he began to shed the pounds he noticed. He didn't look sick, or too skinny but it was still a shock to see him this thin, it made him look taller. Made him look like he was about fifteen instead of thirteen. The change seemed to have happened over night. 

Castiel didn't notice the gradual change because he spent all his time with his friend. Dean began to play outside more often with him as well when usually he was happier indoors watching horror movies on the couch, or reading coming books. Castiel looked up from his book to see that now the two teens were shirtless, only wearing basketball shorts and sneakers. Dean was running around after Sam, trying to steal the ball from him- he kept having to pull up his shorts every so often. They were looking a little baggy. "Time out!" Dean suddenly calls out, he's panting, hands on his hips. "I need a break." Sam nods.

Castiel sees Dean sprinting towards him, making his way to the front door of the house to go inside to get something to drink. "What?" he asks the man, when he's being stared at too long. Castiel gulps. Dean smiles and whispers, "You want this?" he asks, gesturing to his body and laughs when the man's face gets red. A few minutes later he steps outside with three bottles of water and assumes one is for him and he was right, the boy sets one aside for him. Dean gulps down half of his water, "It's fucking hot. Why don't we have a pool-" he asks, staring off into the distance. He pours the rest of the water over his head to cool off, before going back to play.

Castiel swallows, watching Dean run back to his friend- he sees him give Sam the third bottle of water. Sam takes it and drinks it just as fast. He gets up and shouts, "Sam, are you eating dinner with us?" The two teens stop playing and look at him, Sam shouts back - "Nah, I'll be going home soon!" The older man nods and steps inside the house. 

It's about half an hour and Dean walks inside, he's covered in sweat and his hair is completely wrecked. "I'm starving." Dean says, sitting down at the kitchen table. "We got any salad?" he asks, scratching lightly at his stomach. Castiel comes to him with a bowl of salad, which looks too colorful for him. "Thanks." he says, picking off the croutons and bits of bacon in it and digs in.

Castiel shakes his head, "Eat the damn bacon, Dean." 

The boy looks at him, his mouth crunching away at the stale lettuce. "No."

He knew there was no use in forcing him into doing anything so he keeps quiet and eats his own food, he was enjoying a rather large bowl of pasta himself. Once he's finished he asks him, "I suppose you don't want any dessert?"

Dean bites his fingernail, contemplating for a few seconds- "Mmmm, no."

Castiel nods, "Are you going to get in the shower?"

Dean grins, showing off his pretty sharp incisors that kinda look like fangs. "later." Castiel sighs and is about to leave the table when the teen grabs onto his wrist, gripping it tightly. "You know, It's been a while..." 

Suddenly he's aware again that Dean's still shirtless and sweaty. 

Dean stands, licking his bottom lip slowly. Castiel catches the movement. "Where do we-" he's cut off, Dean presses his lips to his own. "Ohh, Dean-" he moans, breaking the kiss. "I need you-" he admits.

Dean licks his bottom lip again before he bites down on it. "You see, I was kinda hoping tonight would be the night I get to fuck you." He's saying this and he's so confident in it. Castiel almost hates him for it, he sounds so much older than he is, especially now with the sudden weight loss and he's looking taller this close to him. The freaking even teenager even has abs coming in now. Castiel is taken back by his request. "You promised."

Castiel gulped, "I did promise. Yeah, alright-" he tries to move but the teenager corners him in against the edge of kitchen table, "Here?"

Dean smiles again, flashing his little fangs. "Yeah, here." 

Castiel was feeling nervous, and he didn't know why. It's not like this kid was going to hurt him. "We need lube-" 

Dean plants a kiss on him. "Can't I just use spit-"

Castiel rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." he strips off his shirt and the boy is already pushing down his jeans for him. 

"Fucking need you-" Dean says urgently, kissing Castiel's neck and decides to claim him. He sucks a bruise at the side of his neck where it's clearly visible. The older man moans loudly. Once his jeans and briefs are kicked off, the teen turns him around, placing a hand on his back to bend him over the table. 

Castiel whimpers for the first time, he can't believe how vulnerable he feels. He's about to get fucked by Dean. 

Dean doesn't have to work too hard, his hard dick angles perfectly to the man's ass. He holds it against the hole and begins to rub it with the head, trying to probe into it lightly. Castiel hears the teen spit and soon he feels the coolness at his entrance. Dean can't help but laugh nervously, "Dude, this is kinda weird-"

"Wha?" Castiel looks over his shoulder, already looking fucked.

Dean rubs the mans lower back, "Nothing." he begins to push in, there's a bit of resistance but his hips buckle forward and he pops in. "Ugh, fuck-" he sighs, "This is good-"

Castiel groans, aside from the fact he's going to get fucked right now he still keeps his masculinity. He's been fucked before but it's usually by much larger cocks than this. Dean fits just right, not too small or too big. 

Dean being the teenager he is and not being experienced, begins to pound into the older man like a jackrabbit. All of his thrusts are uncoordinated but it doesn't matter, Castiel is still enjoying what he's being given. "You're doing so good-keep going" 

Dean has his bottom lip caught between his teeth, breathing harshly through his nose- he's watching his cock plunge in and out of Castiel's hole. They're both surprised he's lasted this long his first time being a top.

"Cas-Ugh, I gotta cu-" Dean whimpers, still pounding away roughly. 

Castiel groans, "Go ahead, come inside me-" he grips the edge of the table as the cock fucking into him starts jabbing at him even more erratically. 

Dean snarls like a rabid puppy as he comes inside of the man, his orgasm is short lived and he finds himself falling onto Castiel's back. He's struggling to regain composure in his breathing. 

"Dean," Castiel huffs, "I want to come-"

Dean peels himself away from the man's backside, pulling out slowly and he's able to admire the bit of come that oozes out of him. "That's so pretty, Cas." 

Castiel's face is red when he turns around, stroking his cock quickly. "How was that?"

Dean shudders, "Awesome." 

"Good, it won't be the last time you get to fuck me." he smiles, "Now, where do I come?"

Dean is quick to get down on his knees, "Here, daddy." and looks up at him, opening his mouth to sticks out his tongue. 

Castiel is instantly reminded of when Dean was a little younger and he comes. He comes all over Dean's face and freckled shoulders. "So fucking gorgeous..." he compliments, Dean sucks at the head of his dick a few times, tasting the last bit of come that dribbles out of it. "Such a good boy for me..." 

Dean flinches, he scratches the back of his head- "This was..." his eyes roll back in head just thinking about how good it feels to fuck. "-real good."

Castiel laughs softly, "Shower? we both need it." he grabs the teenager by the arms and pulls him up so he's standing. "I'll clean you up."

Once in the shower, the older man is washing his chest and shoulders with a loofah to get him clean. Dean speaks up, "Do you like it when I call you daddy?" Castiel's a bit taken by surprise by the question.

"I certainly don't mind it." he says in honesty. "You used to call me daddy all the time."

"Yeah, when I was eleven." Dean's shoulders sag, in deep thought. Castiel kisses his wet forehead, not saying anything else. 


	14. Always be Brothers

After they had sex, Castiel stands in the bathroom analyzing himself in the mirror. Well, mostly his neck. "Damn it, Dean." he whispers, unable to believe that Dean left a hickey on him and a pretty large hickey at that. You'd think he got bitten by a vampire. Now he's wondering how he will hide this at work when he goes back, the hickey is near his freaking jugular, nothing is going to cover this up and he knows if he goes to the hospital sporting the damn thing Meg will have something to say about it. 

It's not like he can say Dean gave it to him. He's going to have to come up with an imaginary new boyfriend or something...and Dean won't like that one bit. He turns off the light in the bathroom and goes to his bedroom, Dean isn't there in his bed. Castiel sighs, _guess he needs some space-_

"Cas, can I sleep in here?" Castiel looks up to find him, all cleaned up with wet hair. "I don't wanna just bang you and leave you." he smiles.

"How thoughtful." Castiel rolls his eyes, lifting the covers to get under them. Dean does the same. "Did you enjoy-"

Dean bites his lip, hiding a secret smile. "Yeah... I feel like a bad ass."

"How so?"

"Cause," Dean smiles. "I fucked you."

"Well...don't get too used to it." Castiel says in a sad tone.

Dean reaches out to touch him, "Don't worry, I'll still let you fuck me. I know how much you like it." and kisses him softly.

Castiel's eyes flutter closed. "Let's not start again-"

"Buzz kill." Dean huffs, "Kinda wanted you to fuck me now-"

Before he knows it Castiel is pulling off his boxers, as if he's desperate to reclaim his masculinity. 

"Whoa, Cas. Slow down-" Dean's bent in half, "Ugh, Cas-" he shuts his eyes, preparing for the plunge but when it doesn't come he opens his eye's, "Cas?" Castiel's on his knees between Dean's legs, looking ashamed. "What?"

Castiel shrugs, Dean looks down and sees that the guy isn't hard in the least. That's a first, every time he's seen his dick it's always been hard. "What's up?" he asks him.

"I-I don't know, it's never been an issue before-" Castiel pulls up his briefs and rolls over to his side of the bed, "I'm sorry, I can't fuck you."

Dean looks hurt, not because they aren't going to have sex but because of Castiel's tone. "It's okay." he whispers, leaning in close to kiss him but Castiel turns away so he can't reach. _Ouch..._ "Well. Goodnight, then." Dean rolls to his side, facing away from the man. 

"I hate disappointing you." Castiel says after a few moments, "This has never happened to me...I feel old."

Dean rolls over to face him, his face soft with care and understanding but it doesn't last long - he smiles like he wants to laugh. "Dude, you're hot as hell. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." 

Castiel tries not to laugh but fails, "Thank you, Dean. You always make me feel better." Dean leans in, about to kiss him when his eyes flicker downwards, admiring the hickey he left there. 

"I got you good, didn't I." Dean whispers, "You're so hot when I fuck you.." his fingers begin to rub and claw at the older man's chest and shoulders. 

Castiel shivers, "Dean, we can't have sex all the time."

Dean pouts, "Once a day?"

Castiel thinks about it, "Maybe."

~

The next morning Dean is sitting at the kitchen table, on his phone. Castiel is cooking up some eggs and pancakes, he turns over to the boy "I'm making pancakes too-"

Dean looks up, not the slightest bit interested in breakfast. "Maybe just eggs." he swallows, setting his phone to the side. "And some coffee-"

Castiel comes over to him with a plate of eggs and pancakes, "Cas, I said no fucking pancakes-" 

"You're going to eat because I say so. You're getting too thin-"

Dean laughs, "I wish. Look at me-" he grips his stomach, a little bit of extra skin there which was completely normal. 

"Dean, you were perfect before. Stop-"

Dean groans, he uses his fingers to put some of his scrambled eggs on the pancake and folds it up like a taco and takes a bite. "Happy now?" he mumbles, "I gotta go, me and Sam are gonna go look at this dead thing." and gets up, taking his pancake taco with him. Dean already knows he's only going to eat half of it before he flushes it.

Castiel smiles seeing that he's finally eating something heavier, then grows concerned. "Wait! What dead thing?" he follows the kid to his room, all of a sudden there's no pancake taco in his hand anymore. He figures he wolfed it down already. Turns out Dean hid it in his nightstand drawer to dispose of later. 

Dean's slipping into his jeans which now fit a little baggy on him, and he's slipping on his hoodie too. Which fits him baggy as well. He says, "Sam found this dead cat near some trees by our school- we're gonna go poke it-"

"Dean, " the look on Castiel's face says it all, he wonders how the kid could be so gross. "Why would you both want to poke a dead cat?"

Dean shrugs, shoving his feet into his sneakers. "It's fun?" he stands, "It's not like I killed the cat-"

"You worry me." Castiel crosses his arms, following Dean to the front door. Once the door is open he sees Sam there, on his bike waiting for him. "Poke it with a stick-"

Dean hugs him before stepping outside, "Thanks for being supportive!" Sam drops his bike, and they both run off together towards the school.

"Poke it with a stick! Don't touch dead things with your hands!" he calls out after the boys, one of their neighbors looks at him like he's a murderer. He smiles in shame and hurries back inside. 

"Sam, where's the fucking cat?" Dean asks his friend once they arrive at the clearing of trees near their school. "I don't see it-"

Sam calls out, "Over here!" there she was, the dead kitty. She was a large gray cat. 

Dean comes over to Sam and the cat, "Aww, she's a fatty." he coos, "She's so cute." and is already looking for a stick to poke her with.

Sam swallows already regretting this, "You're kinda morbid, you know." 

Dean hands his friend a stick, he has one too and reaches to poke the cats stomach. Sam noticed how he only cared to poke her in the stomach, and also noticed how his friend was almost as skinny as he was. "What do you think she ate?" 

Sam throws the stick, not interested in poking her anymore. "We should go...it looks like it's gonna rain." he's so uncomfortable with the way his friend is so into this cat.

Dean gives a final poke, "I'm done." he turns around, smiling. "Let's go."

Sam gives him a worried look, "Do you wanna go get a milkshake or somethin?" he says, looking up at the dark clouds in the sky. "Don't think we can play out much today."

Dean looks up at the sky, they're both already walking to the Mcdonald's near their school. "Yea, sure. Cas gave me some cash."

Sam smiles, "What are you gonna get?" he asks, pulling open the front door of the fast food place so his friend can go in first. The rain already starting to come down outside.

Dean pauses, looking up at the menu. Sam takes notice of how his hand travels up under his hoodie, he's touching his stomach, pursing his lips in a kissy face. "Hmm...what do I want-go ahead ma'm." he says at the lady behind him. Still thinking, "I don't know Sam, you order first." he hands his friend a five dollar bill so he can get his milkshake. Dean goes over to the tables and he sits down, still thinking and looking at the menu at the front. He's squinting.

After a few moments Sam comes back, sits next to him on the same side of the booth and places his change in front of Dean. "So?" he says, taking a sip of his chocolate milkshake and fries. Dean looks down at the fries and grabs one, he munches on it. "Do you wanna share?"

Dean smiles at that, "Yea." Sam pushes his milkshake towards Dean and he takes a sip. "Thanks, I'm not that hungry." he says, picking up another fry. They eat the fries and share the shake, Sam obviously has more. "Doesn't look like the rain's gonna stop." he looks outside and it really is coming down out there. "I really don't wanna get all wet-"

Sam polishes off the rest and looks outside, "We can call Cas to come get us...I could sleepover, watch some scary movies."

Dean looks at him, smiling. They both say in unison - "Friday the thirteenth." They shake on it, "Let me go to the bathroom and I'll call him." Dean says, making his way to the bathroom, once he catches his reflection in the mirror he almost thinks its someone else in the bathroom with him for a second. He sees that his lips almost look blue, and his skin is so pale. He's always had chunky fingers and now they're...he pulls out his phone- it's ringing.

_"Dean?" Castiel answers on the second ring, "How did your morbid adventures turn out?"_

_Dean frowns, "Okay I guess-" he lifts up his hoodie to look at his stomach for a few seconds. "Can you pick us up? We didn't know it was gonna rain-"_

_"Where are you?"_

_"Mcdonald's. The one by my school-"_

_"Alright, Dean. Did you eat lunch yet?" he can hear him looking for his keys on the other end. He suddenly wishes he stayed home with him._

_"Yea, I bought a milkshake and some fries." he wasn't technically lying, he had some._

_"That's great, Dean. Wait for me, I'll be there soon-" They hang up._

Dean pushes the door and exits the bathroom, once he makes it to his friend he sits across from him now. "He's coming."

Sam smiles, "I called my mom, she says I can sleep over." he wiggles his eyebrows at his friend flirtatiously.

"You're a freak." Dean laughs, but it sounds sad.

They giggle and chat until the door to the fast food restaurant opens and Sam sees him first, "Dude, he's here."

Dean turns around, Castiel's there waving them over. "What a nerd." he comments to Sam about him bringing an umbrella. Sam laughs into his hand.

"You two don't want to take some food home?" Castiel looks at them both.

"No, we have food at home."

Sam frowns, he actually did want some more food and was surprised that Dean didn't. Dean loves to eat. 

"Alright you two, lets go." he covers both boys with the umbrella and leads them to his car. The ride home is unusually silent, Dean's in the front seat and Sam is in the back.

Castiel speaks up knowing in a few minutes they will pass by a pizza place, "How about pizza?" he asks them. Mostly Dean. "Can't watch movies without pizza."

Dean forces a smile, "Sure, pizza." _One slice won't hurt..._ Both Sam and Castiel smile in relief. They stop and get a large pizza and make their way home.

Once back at the house, Castiel turns on the TV- "What are we watching?" he included himself in the boys movie night. "Is tonight a scary or a chick flick night?" he teases.

Dean blushes, setting the pizza box on the coffee table and flips it open. "Scary of course." he looks down at the pizza and grabs the biggest slice, hoping it will keep these two from making him grab seconds. Once his slice is on his plate he dabs a paper towel on top to absorb the grease. He's never done that before and Sam notices but doesn't say anything. "Yes! Friday the thirteenth is on Netflix." he says, Castiel presses on the movie to start it. 

Sam and Castiel sit, they're already chowing down and Dean hasn't started yet. He's so into the movie, "That guy kinda looks like you, Sam." he points to the screen, at the guy looking for his sister. 

Sam laughs, "No way! he looks like a puppy." 

Castiel laughs, noticing that Sam does indeed look like a puppy. He pokes Dean in the elbow gently, then looks over at Sam. Dean smiles knowingly. He finally takes a bite, then another and another. Completely lost in the good movie and company, he catches himself when he's reaching for a third slice. _Huh, when did I have a second slice..._ he coughs, and plays it off, resting back onto the couch.

"There's plenty, Dean." Castiel says, wiping his hands and mouth on a napkin. He's had two slices himself. No way in hell was Dean going to eat more than a grown man. Sam's only had one slice himself, but to be fair he had also made popcorn and he'd been munching on that too.

"I'm already full. Plus I had a milkshake and fries." Dean rubs his stomach, "Shouldn't mix too much-"

Sam glares at Dean for a second as if to say that 3 sips of a shake and a few fries is barely anything though he keeps quiet, not willing to ruin their night. Castiel looks down at his watch, it's almost midnight. The movie is over now.

"Why don't you and Sam go to your room, I'll clean up." Castiel stands, stretching before he's moving to clean up the paper plates and empty cans of soda they all devoured during the movie. Dean panics internally, he wonders how many sodas he had. "Dean? move it." Castiel says, he has an idea of what's going on in his head, "Go to your room." 

Dean nods, Sam follows behind. "I think that's my favorite movie of all time-" Sam claims, he kicks off his shoes as if he's in his own home and sits on the bed. Dean kicks off his own sneakers and pulls off his hoodie and unbuttons his jeans, they fall to his ankles easily. He steps out of them and for a few moments he's in his boxers, looking through his drawers for something to wear.

Sam's studying him, "What?" Dean catches him, "Not like you haven't seen me half naked before, Sammy."

Sam shakes his head, "Are you on a diet?" 

Dean gives up on finding pajamas for himself and comes to sit next to his friend on the bed, "Yeah." is all he says, Sam gets up without a word and starts to strip as well, once he's in boxers he sits back down, sighing. Dean looks away from his friend before he's caught, he won't admit that he's jealous that Sam's so thin and eat's whatever he wants.

Sam places a hand on his thigh, "Are you okay?" Dean looks at the hand on his thigh, he just nods. It takes him completely off guard when he gets kissed on the cheek gently, by his friend. 

Dean looks up at him, "What was that for?"

Sam shrugs, blushing. "Felt like you needed a kiss."

Dean swallows. "Yea, okay." he awkwardly moves to lay back on his bed, Sam gets up and starts to unfold a blanket on the floor like he did when he slept over. "You can sleep with me-" Dean whispers, he scoots over so he can make more room. "It's okay." Sam nods and climbs in. The bed is so small that their bodies touch either way.

"Sorry about the kiss." Sam whispers, facing away from Dean. "I know we're like brothers."

Dean smiles, wrapping an arm around his friend to hold him close. They've never done anything like this before. "You're my brother, Sammy." he sighs, and leans in close to inhale the scent of his friends shampoo. Smells like green apple. It's not long before they fall asleep. 

Castiel did the dishes and cleaned up the house before going to check on the boys, he opens the door to peek inside and sees them. Dean and his friend Sam, spooning on the twin bed. He smiles sadly, knowing this was coming but he didn't think it would be so soon and never imagined it would be his friend Sam. Castiel assumed they'd eventually stop messing around and that Dean would find a girl or boy his age. He assumed he would have at least a few years of Dean to himself. He closes the door quietly.

A few hours later Dean stirs against the body pressed against him, he moans softly, his arm tightening around the warm body next to him. He knows it feels different than what he's used to. 

"Dean?" Sam awakens. Dean's drunk with sleepiness, he moans and stretches. Sam turns over to face him, "Are you awake?"

Dean's hands start roaming his friends body, but he thinks it's Cas' body. Sam shudders, never having been touched like that and it surprises him when his neck is being kissed at. "Agh, Dean..." he whimpers. "What are you-"

Dean stops, opening his eyes - "Holy crap." he exhales. "Sammy." 

Sam gulps, eye's fluttering. 

Dean smiles and pushes his friends hair our of his eyes. "Sammy..." he sighs again, a little too lovingly. They stare into each others eyes for way too long before Sam breaks the silence. 

He licks his lips, "Do you-wanna try making out?"

Dean bites his lip, he knows he shouldn't. He's already got Cas, but he's got butterflies in his stomach right now. The innocent kind of butterflies, not the usual fire of lust he feels around Cas. It's different and it's almost nice. He nods, leaning in close.

Sam leans in the rest of the way, pressing his lips to his friends. Dean melts into it and lets his tongue try to explore Sam's mouth- and Sam lets him inside, to explore. It doesn't take long for both of them to start panting. "Fuck, Sammy..." Dean whines, "We can't hook up, whose gonna be my best friend." 

Sam punches him in the shoulder, "Jerk."

Dean smiles, "Bitch." then looks down at the tent in his boxers, "Settle down, Sparky. False alarm."

Sam laughs. "Brothers?"

Dean brushes his fingers through his friends hair, "Yea, brothers." they settle into the same position they were in, spooning. "If you wanna make out though, I'm down."

Sam blushes, "Go to sleep."

"Alright!" he hisses, trying to contain his laughter. 


	15. Kissing Charlie

The next afternoon Dean pads into Castiel's room, "When are you gonna wake up?" he asks him, crawling into the big bed. Castiel opens one eye, "What time is it?"

"Dude, it's noon."

Castiel shoots up,"Fuck. Are you and Sam hungry yet? I'll get get started on breakf-"

Dean laughs, "His mom already came to pick him up, she needed his help with grocery shopping. She's a single mom so...you know." 

Castiel nods, "It's nice having him around. He's welcome any time." he gets up and stretches his limbs, his back cracks a little. Dean admired his body, yet he was a little jealous of him too. He became so jealous of both he and Sam, how could they eat so much and be so careless around food yet never seem to gain much. "Don't tell me you wanna have sex, again." Castiel catches him looking, he's begun to change into some jeans and a casual shirt. 

"I'm still good." he smiles, there's a bit of guilt in his stomach over making out with his best friend last night. "But, I am bored."

"I was like you when I was younger, I wanted sex all the time." Castiel admits, making his way to the kitchen with Dean following behind, "When I hit thirty is when I calmed down a little-"

Dean laughs, "You basically just confessed that you've had sex with a lot of people." he sits down at the table, watching the man start the coffee.

"I guess you're right."

"Have you had sex with a girl before?" Castiel turns around to see Dean at the table with his chin to his hand, like he wants a full report on his sex life. "What, I'm curious."

Castiel pours two cups of coffee and brings them with him as he sits in front of the teenager, "I have. A few times."

Dean blows on his coffee, "Did you like it?"

"Very much." Castiel smiles, taking a sip from the coffee that's way too hot.

"So why are you gay then!" Dean hisses, but he's not angry. His tone is more of a humorous one.

"Because I like it-" he pauses, "-rough I guess. He watches Dean blush, looking down at his mug. "With a woman, you need to be gentle...sweet even, you need to love her in bed. You need to be good to her. I love a women's curves, her body. They're so soft. Don't even get me started on breasts-"

Dean cuts him off, feeling his own dick starting to fatten up in his boxers. "Okay!"

Castiel reaches across the kitchen table and holds his hand, "You like how that sounds, don't you?"

Dean nods, "Being with a girl sounds kinda hot...yea."

"Its a free country, Dean. You don't need to just like men or women. You're young, you can explore what's out there."

"When I'm older." Dean states.

Castiel blushes, he looks across the table to the teenager, he keeps forgetting how young he is. Now with his weight loss, it was getting harder because the kid was starting to look taller and taller every week. 

"So, anything kinky you like doing with a girl?" Dean asks, "Come on...tell me."

He can't ignore the pleading eyes so he continues, "They have this heat down there, it's so warm...and wet-" Dean gulps, "And it opens up for you like a little flower, it's so pink in there." Dean blushes, "And when she comes, it's different than with a guy. It's more of an, internal orgasm type of thing that happens."

Dean gulps down the rest of his coffee, "Kay, stop it. Now I kinda wanna have sex." he looks down, wringing his hands.

"With a girl?" 

Dean nods, "Are you mad?"

Castiel shakes his head, "No. You shouldn't let me stop you."

Dean leans in like he doesn't want anyone in the world to hear him, "I have this friend, named Charlie...I stole her panties." he covers his mouth with his hand like he just told a huge secret.

Castiel laughs, "You mean the ones you wore for me?" Dean nods, "I had wondered where you got them."

"Cas, she's really pretty. Like really pretty. She's got red hair...all natural. Her skin is so white and smooth." Dean closes his eyes, suddenly recalling the kiss she gave him on his birthday. "She kissed me on my birthday a few months ago, but I didn't really feel anything."

"If you kissed her now, do you think you'd feel something?" Castiel asks, "The interest in girls comes on suddenly, you never know when it will happen."

"If I kissed her, would you be mad at me?" Dean bites his lip.

Castiel shrugs, "I can't say I won't be jealous-" if he was honest with himself he was more jealous over him and Sam spooning in bed last night. If only he knew what else they did. 

"I don't want to hurt your feelings." Dean frowns.

Castiel smiles, "It's okay. You should explore with those that are your age." 

"We're not over are we?" Dean doesn't know what they are anyway, but he does know he still wants it to continue.

"We don't have to stop, Just be careful, Dean. I don't want you having sex with anyone else...I'm not saying that because I'll be jealous, there's just a lot about diseases you don't know about yet. I'm clean but you just never know with anyone else."

"Clean?" Dean squints in confusion.

"There's diseases and other things that you can get from having sex, not just that but also infections."

Dean frowns again, "I had an infection once." Now Castiel's confused, taking his hand again. "When I was little I got taken to the hospital because I couldn't take a piss. Like it hurt like hell to go..dunno how I got it."

Castiel nods, looking down. "I understand. This is why it's important to be safe about sex and who we do it with."

A tear rolls down his cheek, Dean wipes his face and clears his throat. "Did I get that because Dad-"

Castiel hushed him, "Let's not talk about that right now." he smiles weakly, "How about some food?" Dean nods, Castiel thinks maybe he will eat.

~

It's been a few weeks and Castiel and Dean haven't slept together, the last time was when Castiel let him... _you know._ Castiel is started to feel worried, he's feeling lonely. Dean still spends most of his time with Sam, and now there's Charlie. He's starting to see that girl around pretty often, she's never alone with just Dean as of yet. They hang out together, all three of them. Either outside, playing ball or riding bikes. Or they come inside, watch movies on the TV in the living room. It's all supervised and out in the open, Dean lets him see that they aren't doing anything _weird._

It's not until one night he comes home earlier from from work than he told Dean he would, around seven in the evening. He unlocks the front door and lets himself in, he sees that the TV is on but it's been put on mute. He walks into the living room, "Dean where-" he almost gasps when he sees Dean laying on top of someone- for a split second he assumes it may be Sam but he sees a mop of orange and red hair under him. Castiel is angry.

Dean looks up dumbly, his face is red and he's panting. From the looks of it he had just been kissing her neck - "I can explain-"

"What's going on here?!" Castiel yells at them both.

Charlie pushes Dean off of her and sits up, Castiel sees that her tank top has been pushed up past her breasts and they're exposed because she wasn't wearing a bra, he quickly turns around so he doesn't look directly at her nude chest. "Get dressed, Charlie. If you need a ride home I'll take you." he rubs his eyes, trying to wipe the memory of her chest away. 

Dean whispers to her, "Can't find it-" Castiel assumes he means her bra.

Charlie was only wearing jeans and her tank top which she had already adjusted. She gets up, hugging herself and feeling extra naked without her bra. "Bye, Dean." she whispers.

Castiel turns around and says, "Will you need that ride?"

She shakes her head, "I only live one street over, I can walk."

Dean gets up, "Can I walk her home?" Castiel nods. He's relieved he walked in on them when he did. 

About an hour later Dean walks back in, his hair looking more of a mess than before and his lips were swollen to the point of almost being red. "I'm sorry." he says to Castiel on the couch, he's drinking a beer. Dean's never really seen him drink beer or anything. 

Castiel looks him up and down, shaking his head. "You were gone an hour." Dean's eyes widen for a second, he didn't realize he took that long. "What did you and Charlie do just now, out there?" he gestures outside.

Dean shoves his hands in his over sized hoodie, looking down and his sneakers. "We just made out."

"You look like you just had sex." Castiel states, watching him.

Dean swallows, looking up to meet his gaze. "I swear I didn't have sex with her-"

"You know you can get her pregnant, don't you?" 

Dean blinks stupidly, "I can?"

"You're thirteen but yeah you can-" Castiel takes a sip of his beer, "If she gets her period, she can get pregnant."

Dean sits down next to him. "I didn't think-"

"All it takes is one time. I'm going to ask you again, did you have sex with her?"

Dean gulps, "N-No." 

"Are you lying to me, Dean?"

Dean looks up at the older man, "I didn't have sex with her."

Castiel hands him his beer as if saying its alright for him to take a sip. Dean takes the can and takes a sip. "Good."

Dean coughs, "Tastes like pee." giving the can back. 

"If you're thinking of having sex with her, don't." Castiel states again, noticing how the kid is shifting uncomfortably in his jeans. 

Dean feels weird sitting next to Castiel with come in his boxers, "I-I won't. I understand, okay?" 

"I know I said you can explore, and you can. Pregnancy...is a real thing to worry about. It doesn't matter how young you are."

"Can't I just use a condom?"

Castiel glares at him and he instantly regrets making the joke, "I don't want you seeing Charlie in the house while I'm not around."

Dean sighs, "Okay. I get it."

Castiel sets his beer on the coffee table and turns to Dean, leaning in close. "Did It get you hot when I talked to you about fucking girls?" he asks, his voice so close to his ear. 

Dean shudders, his eyes closing. He bites his lip, nodding "Y-yea."

Castiel nibbles gently on the kids earlobe, tugging on it "You wanna put your dick in a pussy, don't you? Dean."

Dean whimpers, "Mhm-" his hands gripping the edge of the couch, he feels Castiel kissing softly behind his ear. It tickles him and he wants to laugh but he moans weakly instead. 

Castiel sighs roughly in his ear and it sounds more like a groan. "I don't have a pussy, but you can fuck me."

Dean opens his eyes, looking over to him. His eyes are begging for it, for something to happen. Castiel kisses his temple, his fingers unbuttoning his jeans and Dean lifts his hips up so his jeans and boxers can be tugged down to his knees. "What's this?" he sees the still wet come all over the insides of his boxers and some on his dick. "When did this happen?"

Dean bites his lip again, face going red. "Out there...with, Cha-Charlie-" his thighs twitch, his dick already half hard again. "It was an accident."

Castiel grabs hold of his half hard dick, stroking lazily. It takes about only three strokes and it's already fully hard and erect. Dean blushes, keeping his mouth shut. Castiel keeps jerking him off and he becomes a mess. He begins to whine and whimper, gasping and sighing softly. He's kissing his neck softly the entire time he's stroking Dean. It takes him a long time to get close to orgasm, having just had one when he was making out with Charlie.

"You wanna come for me, Dean?" Castiel kisses his jawline a few times.

Dean nods quickly, "I-I'm com-" hot thick come starts shooting and oozing out of his dick before he can say he's coming. He looks down at himself in awe, "Ughh..." his hands are rubbing his own thighs and kneading the meat there like he can't calm down.

"Shh, you're okay." Castiel kisses his temple.

Dean trembles, "Think I'm finally hungry.." he smiles, "Like really hungry." 

Castiel smiles, it wasn't his intention but it works for him. 

"Think you can make me a burger and some fries?" Dean's still gripping his thighs.

Castiel cleans him off with some tissues, "You did work up an appetite." he smiles before he leans in, then stops himself. "Go take a shower and brush your teeth. You have Charlie in your mouth." 

Dean blushes, "Sorry." he gets up and hurries to go shower and brush his teeth while Castiel makes him some food. 

After he brushed his teeth, he comes into the kitchen - he's freshly showered. He hugs Castiel from behind, he's flipping the meat patty for Dean's burger and has some tater tots cooking in the oven for him too. "You smell nice." Castiel hums, "Really nice." Castiel's always loved the smell of Dean.

Dean kisses the back of Castiel's neck, "Love you."

Castiel shrugs him off, "Your burger's almost done, go sit down."

Dean backs away and sits, "Okay, sir." It's not long before there's a cheeseburger and tater tots in front of him, he looks up and forces a smile. "Looks good." he lifts the burger and takes a bite, he almost doesn't like it but he keeps going even if he is struggling to eat it.

Castiel sits next to him, digging into his own burger. "Take your time, there's no rush." Dean nods.

He manages to eat a little more than half the burger and all the tots, he sits back with his hand resting on his stomach. "I'm done." 

Castiel smiles, knowing he tried but he still did a great job. "You did good." he kisses his temple. "I don't care how much you eat, as long as you eat." 

Dean smiles at that, "I'll try."

"You need to eat enough if you want to have energy for sex-" he shrugs "-just saying."

Dean manages another three bites before he's really done and he gets up, "Bathroom." he says and runs off. Castiel frowns, he finishes his soda and gets up to check on him after a few minutes. He peeks his head through the bathroom door to see if he's okay. He's there sitting on the toilet.

"Privacy!" Dean yelps, covering himself. 

"What are you doing?" Castiel asks.

"Uh- pooping?" Dean blushes.

"And you need to get naked for that?"

Dean pouts, "Shut up." then after a second says, "I got horny again." 

Castiel smiles, it beats what he was thinking. "Well, finish up in here and we can watch a movie in my room." he closes the door softly. Dean finishes up and goes to Castiel's room, blushing as he walks in. He's biting the nail on thumb.

Castiel lifts the covers to let him in bed, "So, three times today."

"It's my personal best." he wants to hide but Castiel's staring at him.

"I think you need to get fucked again." 

Castiel says it so seriously that Dean can't help but glare up at him, "Wha-"

"Get some rest, I'm going to fuck you tomorrow." Castiel kisses him on the cheek and turns off the lamp.


	16. Pink leggings & Moon boots

_"Sammy.."_ Dean whispers, half asleep. Castiel awakens, looking him over and thinks to himself. Dean sighs, " _Sam.."_

Castiel feels jealousy boiling in his gut, he nudges the sleeping teen. "Wake up." Dean rolls over, "What are you dreaming about?"

Dean yawns, "Uh- I dunno." 

"Mhm." The older man responds, "You kept calling out for _Sammy._ "

Dean blushes, "I was? That's weird, he's like my brother." he shrugs and rolls over again to finish sleeping. 

Castiel rolls him back over, pinning him down underneath his own body. "I miss you." 

"I miss you too, Cas." Dean struggles underneath his body, Castiel has always been muscular. "Kinda having trouble breathing-"

Castiel eases off of him a little, "Better?" Dean nods and he continues in his mission- he begins grinding on the teenager. Slow but firm thrusts, their clothed erections brushing and pressing against each other. "You like that?" he asks him, Dean's mouth is parted slightly, little moans and sighs escaping his lips. All he does is nod his reply. It's moments like this Castiel loves how vulnerable and innocent he looks.

Dean shuts his eyes tightly, biting his lip. 

"What, you have to come already?" Castiel teases him, pressing down even more firmly on his thrusts against the younger boys crotch. Dean shakes his head, willing his eyes open and looking up into his eyes, forcing himself to last a little longer. Castiel moves around so he can pull down Dean's pajama bottom and boxers, his smaller cock springing out of the material. "You have a beautiful cock, Dean." he admires it, moving down to give it a lick.

Dean whimpers, "Shut up..." he's never liked personal attention. "You're gonna make me feel weird-" He's cut off mid sentence when Castiel takes him down entirely, down to his balls. He sucks slowly, but the pressure is just right. It's not overwhelming, and it doesn't hurt him. He always knows how much Dean can take for his age. "Ugh, CAS-" 

"Hmmm..." Castiel hums, the vibrations making Dean shiver and shudder underneath him. His legs are trembling, he knows he's going to come soon and he's going to swallow him up completely. The noises are filthy- it's wet and dirty. Dean's loving it, he looks down at Castiel in admiration. He forgets how close he is until Castiel lightly probes his hole with his thumb that he almost loses it, "I miss this pink little hole..." he says, almost as if he were talking to a smile child and Dean likes it. He won't admit it but he likes it more than he should. "Call me Daddy." Castiel orders him, gently.

Dean bites his lip, shaking his head. "Nuh- uh-"

Castiel pushes the tip of his thumb into the pink hole, "Please?" he asks again, more firmly.

"Ugh-" Dean whines, his thighs are twitching and he's so close- "Ugh, fuck Da-" and he's coming all over himself, "Oh my God-" he whimpers as he looks down at the come spurting out of his cock. "Cas-"

Castiel softens, looking at Deans face. "You're beautiful." he inches forward, eyes locked on Dean- he leans forward and uses his tongue to clean him up. 

Dean shivers, "I'm not beautiful." he says it and Castiel almost doesn't hear him. 

He stops licking once he's clean, "Why would you say such a thing? You are beautiful-"

Dean uses his foot to push Castiel away, "I'm chubby and ugly!" he snaps, kicking at him lightly. Castiel grabs hold of his ankles and pulls, so he's underneath him again and he can't move. "Let go!"

"Calm down-" he kisses the boy's face repeatedly until he's calm, it takes about a minute and tears are spilling onto his slimmer cheeks. "Why do you think you're chubby?" he gives him a once over, looking him down and seeing nothing. "You've never been chubby, Dean. What are you talking about?"

Dean looks over Castiel's shoulder, there's a few pictures of him when he was younger on the wall behind them. Castiel looks at the pictures for a quick second, "Dean, everyone has baby cheeks when they're little. Unlike you, I was actually chubby." he admits.

Dean relaxes, "You chubby? I don't belive you."

"It's true, nothing fit me growing up. I wore the weirdest outfits because of my weight, it was quite humiliating." Castiel blushes, he rolls over and pulls Dean close to his chest.

"Name one outfit."

Castiel sighs, "Pink leggings and moon boots."

Dean actually barks, "You dork!"

Castiel's face grows a deep red. "Feel better now? You're cute and I...was so not cute at your age." Dean smiles finally, his tears have stopped. "I um, would carve things onto my thighs-"

Dean looks up at him, "What do you mean?" 

Castiel's grateful Dean doesn't know about self harm, "Nothing, I would just carve words onto my legs sometimes."

"I don't get it-"

Castiel kisses his forehead, "I'm glad you don't." 

Dean smiles softly, "I'm sorry-" Castiel looks instantly confused, "-for Charlie."

Castiel sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, "I understand your curiosity but you're too young to be trying to have sex with her."

"But we-"

Castiel kisses Dean to shush him. "Yes we do. She's a girl Dean, she can get pregnant."

Dean nods, "I'll try to remember that."

"You will remember."

"I will?" Dean questions, his bottom lip poking out.

"If something big like that happened, you getting a girl pregnant...I don't know, it might raise questions. People-" he looks at Dean sadly, "-may find out it's just us living here. It would get out that your father isn't here."

Dean's eyes begin to water, he cuddles in closer to the older man. "I'll stay away from her."

"You can be friends." Castiel holds him tight, his hand rubs up and down his back to soothe him. "I'm just trying to protect you."

"Yea, okay. Cas?" Dean suddenly asks, looking up at him. "If Dad came back, would you adopt me?"

Castiel blinks, "What?"

The teen shakes his head, "Nevermind Just- Just please never leave me alone with him if he ever does."

"You're safe with me and always will be, I promise." Dean clings to him tighter and says nothing, "I love you. So much." he kisses the top of Dean's head.

Dean mumbles 'I love you' back to him and holds onto him until he falls back to sleep. Once he's sure Dean's fallen asleep, he soon follows. They both sleep way past noon the following day and its alright, they have nowhere to be- except in each others arms. 


	17. Box in the closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback

"Watch _Dean for me will you." John calls out to him as he pulls on his boots and gets himself ready to head out "He won't give you trouble."_

_Castiel actually whines, "John, I don't know about babysitting Dean-"_

_John pats him on the shoulder like a 'friend' would, "You'll be fine, Dean's pretty independent."_

_"Alright." Castiel forces a smile, he was extremely nervous about babysitting John's son for the first time. He's never had any time alone with the boy. He watches as John's impala drive away and closes the door to see Dean peeking at him from the hallway. "Hello, Dean."_

_Dean runs away to hide in his room. He's Eleven years old and doesn't know his dads new roommate too well, of course he hides._

_Castiel follows Dean to his bedroom and sees the boy sitting on his bed, looking at him nervously. "It's okay, Buddy. I'm not going to hurt you." he smiles, trying his best to appear friendly. Which he was- very friendly._

_Dean plays with his chubby fingers on his lap, his feet kicking at nothing. "Where dad go?"_

_Castiel comes into the kids room, looking around at Dean's things. Only looking, not touching. There were a few army men scattered on the floor but that was about it as far as it came to toys. He vaguely recalled John mentioning having served in the military briefly before having been married. "He went to work." he lied, knowing John went out for a beer and might not be home until late. He was actually surprised it took him this long to start drinking again since he got sent to Castiel's hospital after blacking out at a bar._

_"But it's late." Dean says, "And I'm hungry."_

_"I can make you something, what do you want for dinner?" Castiel holds his hand out so he can take it, but he's rejected and tries not to take it personally. "Grilled cheese? Chicken nuggets?"_

_Dean looks up at nothing, making a kissy face as if he's thinking about his options regarding food. "Chips?"_

_Castiel laughs, "You can have chips but that's hardly a meal." he starts making his way towards the kitchen, and is happy to hear the footsteps following behind. "So, what kind of chips? Think we have Doritos and-"_

_"Doritos!" he says and runs ahead of Castiel to the kitchen, he grabs his favorite batman bowl and places it on the table. Castiel catches up to him and his heart melts when he sees Dean trying to reach up to the cabinets where the chips were kept. "Help-" he whimpers._

_"I got it-" Castiel opens the cabinet and pulls out the red bag and opens it,"Go sit down." Dean goes to sit and waits for him, "This really all you want?" he pours the triangle shaped chips in the kid's batman bowl._

_Dean bites into a chip, "Do we have cream cheese?"_

_Castiel looks at him, "You eat cream cheese with Doritos?"_

_Dean giggles, "Yes."_

_"That's very strange." Castiel goes to the kitchen, knowing they have cream cheese because he has a bagel every morning. "We actually do have some-"_

_"Awesome." Dean smiles, "I like Hot Cheetos with cheese too."_

_Castiel sits next to him, "Be careful with Hot Cheetos, we get a lot of kids at the hospital complaining of stomach pain after eating those."_

_Dean ignores him, digging into his chips and cheese._

_"And what do you usually drink with your...food?" Castiel asks, already getting up._

_"Dad gives me coke."_

_Castiel sighs, "The Winchester house is so unhealthy." he comes back with a coke for the boy and some water for himself. He watches the boy eat for a while and smiles, "You're a good kid."_

_Dean smiles back, awkwardly._

_Castiel had gone into the other room to make a phone call and when he comes back he sees him - His cheeks, lips and fingers are covered in orange goop and Castiel almost screams when he sees it- "Dean!" he hisses but is not angry. "You're a mess."_

_Dean mumbles 'sorry' but it ends up sounding more like 'sowwy'. His eyes welling up with tears._

_"It's okay, let's go clean you up before he comes back. Okay?" Dean nods, allowing himself to be led to his bedroom. "Wait here-"_

_When Castiel comes back he comes back with baby wipes and crouches down so he's at eye level with Dean, "Sit still, okay-" he pulls out a wipe from the package and begins to wipe at Dean's cheeks, and he's looking into his eyes. He wishes Dean wasn't doing that. It feels weird. "Does your stomach hurt?" he asks, as if trying to distract himself from something. Dean shakes his head and he continues to wipe the boys hands, the orange coming off._

_He's dreading having to clean his lips...he doesn't want too. He pulls out one last wipe from the package and looks up at his lips first then his eyes and he's still looking at him. "What?" Castiel says, "Do I have something on my face?"_

_Dean looks down, "No."_

_Castiel reluctantly brushes the baby wipe on his lips, wiping away the orange goop and feels better when it's over with. "All done." he says a little too happily._

_Dean looks up at him and he stands, Castiel looks around the room once more. "Do you have more toys to play with?"_

_The boy shrugs, "Not really."_

_Castiel feels sad for the kid, "Can you keep a secret?" he's not sure why he even cares so much._

_He shrugs again, "I guess."_

_"I'll get you some toys tomorrow-" He looks at the boys clothes for a second and continues,"Maybe some clothes too, how's that sound?"_

_Dean stands up and hugs him tightly, "Kay."_

_Castiel smiles, his heart growing warm. He hugs back for a few seconds and peels him off gently - "Tomorrow after school, look in your closet." he winks._

_Dean nods eagerly and_ _Castiel ruffles his short hair then walks away but looks back when he reaches the door. Dean's already climbing into bed and pulling the covers up to his chest - they make eye contact for a second and Dean smiles. "Goodnight, Dean."_

-

_Dean almost jumps out of the school bus when it pulls up in front of his house, he hasn't forgotten what Castiel promised him. He'd been thinking about it all day. Dean runs to his room and opens the door to his closet, not sure what he was supposed to expect._

_There it was, a box. He closed the closet door and turned on the flashlight he kept in his closet to scare away the monsters- the words on the cardboard box read -_ **DEAN**

_His fingertips traced his name and he smiled, carefully he opened the box and was surprised. He didn't expect this much from Castiel. He began to dig around and found a few toys. One of them was a Batman action figure and a Woody doll from Toy Story which he wasn't mad at, he did like cowboys. There was also a jumbo sized coloring book too with of course- the 64 pack of Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener that everyone seemed to have but himself. Castiel had even thrown in a pack of markers for good measure._

_Dean hadn't realized that he had been crying the whole time he was looking through his new things, it was better than Christmas given that his dad forgot all holidays no matter which one it was. He forgot so often that he eventually stopped asking about why he didn't get a gift._

_The next few items were clothing and he was happy about it, he was getting tired of wearing the same things over and over. He'd already been bullied about it a few times. Castiel had gotten him a few pairs of jeans, some shirts and a cool hoodie. Almost everything was black or had a Batman logo on it. He was glad the guy knew what he liked._

_After he was done admiring his things he put everything away and wiped his eyes, he couldn't wait until he saw Castiel again. Dean just hoped he could stay up late enough in order to catch him come in._

-

_The sound of the front door slamming shut is what awoke Dean around one in the morning, he was asleep on the couch. It's not long before Castiel shuffles into the living room and sets his bag and sweater down. "Why are you up?"_

_Dean looks up sleepily, "I was sleeping-"_

_"I'm sorry, Dean."_

_Dean smiles, and lays his head back on the couch cushion. He falls asleep before he remembers why he was trying to stay up late in the first place. Castiel smiles and carries the boy to his bedroom, setting him down and covering his body with an old thick baby blanket he always slept with. It had hearts and bears all over it.  
_

_Dean whispers, "I love my presents-" It's dark but Castiel can see his chubby cheeks are flushed pink._

_Castiel smiles, "if you need anything else, let me know." Castiel has only been in the Winchesters' lives for a short year at this point, probably met John when Dean was about Ten years old. Although he wasn't formally introduced to Dean until Mary left the picture. He was pretty much okay being a secret, yet he didn't think there was anything to hide. He and John weren't having an affair at that time. Just a Bromance that went to far he guesses..._


	18. Seventeen Candles

It's been a few years and now Dean was about to turn Seventeen, Castiel was more than happy for him- since John left them both Dean has been doing amazing at school. His friend Sam was over so much you'd think they were actually brothers. Sam being around did the teenager a lot of good, that girl Charlie came around sometimes as well but Dean kept his distance and it was only because of the warnings Castiel gave him. He did not want to get her pregnant by accident and risk ruining everything.

Castiel noticed how in the last few years in John's absence Dean had been sporting some of his Dad's old shirts. He could never get himself to toss John's things away and now he was beginning to regret it. Dean often wore Johns old flannels or one of his old band tees along with jeans, the ones Castiel often buys him - that kid ruins so many clothes doing who knows what. Dean always came home late from school even though he wasn't involved in any after school activities- he would come in covered in dirt or have holes in his clothes. Sometimes he'd show up with scratch marks on his arms or a bruise every now and then. Castiel asked about it but Dean steered the conversation elsewhere.

Dean's bedroom slowly became scarce or any toys and coloring books, all those action figures went in a box in his closet. Dean traded his sneakers for boots and traded his hoodie for a black denim jacket.

It wasn't until Dean started wearing his fathers necklace that Castiel stopped him on his way to school "What is this?"

"It's dad's." Dean said, pulling away from Castiel and walking out the door so he could walk to school. 

Castiel had no idea what was going on with him, did he miss his father? Was he no longer enough for Dean? He obviously noticed when he and Dean had stopped having sex. There was no argument at all, Dean had simply just stopped pursuing him or rejecting his affection in the nicest way he possibly could. Dean didn't like being held anymore, even a hug was too much for him. Castiel would hug the teenager for about two seconds before he was already squirming to get away. The last time they shared the bed together Dean was Fifteen and even then that was pushing it. The last time they kissed Dean was about Fourteen years old. 

Dean clearly had moved on from Castiel and it broke him. He missed Dean so much, those lips...his, everything. 

"Yes?" Castiel answered his phone, it was only Ten in the morning and he was getting a call from Dean's school. This is never good. "I understand, I'll come get him." he sighs and begs to be let out early from his shift at the hospital and says he will make it up.

When he walks into the high school he sees the principle waving him over, "This way, Sir. You have got to do something about this boy or he will get kicked out of school for good." Castiel nods, he's being led to the nurses office and he sees the teen there - holding an Ice pack to his mouth. "Dean-"

Dean huffs a laugh, and spits blood into the trashcan near him. "Hey, Cas."

Castiel crosses his arms, "What did you do?"

Another kid stumbles into the nurses office as well. Moaning and groaning. "You!" he shouts, pointing an angry finger at the kid.

The other kid shrieks and tries to hide behind the nurse, she escorts him to one of the empty beds and closes the curtain on him.

"I don't want to hear it, Dean. Next time you'll get kicked out so you better behave." Castiel starts walking away knowing Dean will follow him and he does. He takes the Ice pack with him. "Were you fighting?"

As soon as they walk outside of the school Dean spits out blood again and whines, "Yea-" 

"Open." Dean opens his mouth and Castiel curses, "Damn it, Dean. You chipped a tooth-"

Dean shoves him, "Just leave it." he presses the pack to his mouth as they walk to the car.

Castiel speaks up when Dean won't, "Why are you fighting at school?" he asks at a red light.

Dean's voice is raspy and hoarse, "Uh-I dunno."

"Dean. Why?"

He shrugs, "Feels good."

"It feels good to get beat up?"

Dean actually smiles, "Yea, I guess." 

Castiel knew this was the most he was going to get out of him for now, he pulls into a grocery store and parks around the front since it's early in the day there aren't many cars around. 

"Don't really feel like shopping, Cas." Dean winces around the Ice pack, "I'll wait here."

Castiel pats his knee, "Come on, you used to love going shopping with me."

Dean smiles at the memory, "When I was little." For some reason that stings Castiel and Dean saw it, "Fine." he opens the car door and steps out. Castiel steps out too and they walk inside together. "What do we need?" Dean can't help but feel funny walking beside Castiel as he pushes around the shopping cart.

Castiel hums, looking around "Stuff for your birthday."

Dean groans softly, "Don't make a big deal about it, please."

"Seventeen is a big one. Besides, I didn't get to do anything for you last year because I was working." Dean's looking at the pies and puts one in the shopping cart without asking, he knows Castiel never says no. "You can invite your friends."

They reach the bakery and Dean's looking at them curiously, he hasn't had an actual cake in few years. "Alright, but I want this one." he points to a certain cake, Castiel's smile falls when he sees the cake is somewhat of a camo design. "This one's awesome."

Castiel nods, and puts the cake in the cart. "How about some hot dogs and burgers...we could do a barbecue theme-"

Dean wraps an arm around Castiel, he's pretty tall by now and Castiel melts into it for a few seconds before he lets go. "You know me so well, huh Cas." They go and pick out the rest of his party essentials and they're standing at the checkout line when Castiel asks "So it's going to be Sam, Charlie and who else?"

Dean bites his lip, "Uhhh, Jo."

"You never mentioned him before-"

"Jo is a girl." he clarifies, "She's real nice." 

Castiel blinks, "Okay." he pays for their items and they both walk to his car, Dean is so helpful and helps Castiel load everything into the car and bring everything into the house once they arrive. Dean was indeed a very good kid, the older he got the more aware he was of things that needed to be done around the house. He started mowing the lawn at Fourteen without being told to do so, he started taking out the trash on his own too at Fifteen. What really shocked him was when he woke up one Saturday morning to find Dean washing his car. The day he sees him changing his oil, he will lose it.

They are sitting on the sofa and Castiel knows better by now than to try to make a move on Dean so instead he asks, "So, Jo?"

"What about her?" he answers a little too soon as if he knew the question was coming. "She's in all my classes so why not ask her to come, right." he looks over, green puppy dog eyes in full effect.

Castiel gulps silently, "I can't wait to meet her." 

Dean hums, taking a large gulp from his can of soda. Castiel can't help but notice the way his Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. He's older but he's still beautiful, without thinking he reaches over to lightly brush at his barely there stubble that wan'ts to come in. Dean flinches, "Quit it."

"Dean." Castiel rasps, "Can I ask you something?"

Dean chugs the rest of the soda, "What?"

"I'm sorry for everything. If- If I ever hurt you when you were younger, I'm sorr-" he stops once he sees Dean tense and rub at the back of his neck, he shakes his empty soda can before he gets up.

Dean laughs nervously, "I'm all out, I'm gonna get another. You want anything?"

Castiel shakes his head and he's not at all surprised when Dean never comes back to finish the old Western movie they had been watching. 

**January 24**

"-Happy birthday to youuuu!" The small circle of Dean's friends shout obnoxiously around him and his cake, "-And many moree!" Sam adds. 

Dean smiles, blowing out his candles. Soon he's cutting into the cake with a big knife and serving a big slice for Sam, Charlie, Jo and himself. "Almost forgot you, Cas." He smiles, handing Castiel a paper plate with cake. 

"Happy birthday, Dean." 

Dean smiles nervously again before he digs into the cake, his friends all laughing around him and he feels happy. He feels normal. Castiel makes his way outside, he's finishing grilling the rest of the hot dogs and burgers, they've already eaten but he wants Dean's friends to take home left overs. Mostly, he just want's something to do while the teenagers inside the house mess around. While he's grilling, it's not long before Dean comes out and stands next to him. Castiel gasps in surprise when Dean rests his chin on his shoulder. "What is it, Dean?" he flips the last burger on the grill.

"Nothin-" 

Castiel inhales and winces, "Where did you get beer?"

"Fucking Sam brought a few cans in his backpack." Dean shrugs, "Don't be mad-"

Castiel shrugs, packing up the hot dogs and burgers in foil for his friends - just as he's doing that the small gang of teenagers come outside and they're saying thank you and their goodbyes to both Castiel and the birthday boy. They take the left overs and wave one final time before they are picked up by their parents.

"Are you happy?" 

"Yea, s'good birthday." Dean leans in, hesitates but kisses him on the cheek anyway. "Thanks, Cas." he says and walks back inside.

Castiel felt the barely there stubble on his cheek and his eyes began to water, he laughs softly to himself. When he walks back into the house he sees that Dean cleaned up in the kitchen so he makes his way into the bathroom to turn on the shower- he strips off his clothes and gets in. He can't hold it in any longer and lets himself cry over Dean. He must have been crying a little too loud because there's a knock at the bathroom door. "I'll be out in a minute." he rubs his eyes and begins to wash his body.

By the time he gets out he's relieved Dean isn't waiting for him, he walks to his bedroom in only a towel and he jumps when Dean says "Cas."

He turns around, "Bathroom's all yours."

"Cas." Dean tries again, "I heard you crying."

"Sometimes I cry, Dean. It's not a big deal." he opens the door to the bedroom and walks inside, shutting the door on Dean.

_

"What's he done this time?" Castiel groans into his cellphone, "I'll come get him."

Once he's gotten to the high school he walks into the principles office and sees Dean there, waving his fingers at him as a hello. He has a smug look on his face. That smug look is wiped off his face when the principle asks, "So, John Winchester is not in the picture?"

Both Castiel and Dean's necks snap in the direction of the principle, "What-" they both say in unison.

"John Winchester. Where is he?"

Castiel crosses his legs uncomfortably, he was afraid of this day ever coming. "He's-"

Dean blurts out, "He's on a hunting trip-"

"Dean, let me handle this-"

"But he'll be back in a few days-" he looks down and shuts up.

The principle sighs, "I don't care where he is. Honestly, Mr. Novak. I've called you in because of Dean's remarkable grades." 

"Whut?" Dean gulps.

Castiel smiles, relief flooding inside of him and pride pooling in his heart. 

"Dean's been doing very well- aside from the behavioral issues that is."

Dean snorts, scratching the side of his head. 

"I believe, if we can get that under control-"

Castiel stands, "Say no more, I'll talk to Dean and We'll figure something out." he's anxious to get out of there all of a sudden. "Right, Dean?"

Dean nods, he stands up as well. "I'll do better."

The principle starts again, "I'd hate to see his good work go to waste because of his anger issues. I recommend he see a psychiatrist-"

Castiel in annoyance says, "He doesn't need medication. Let's go." 

Dean follows him, once they reach the car he apologizes "I'm sorry you got called to come in again." Castiel only sighs, driving them home once again.

_

"Cas?" Dean lets himself inside of Castiel's room, it's around One in the morning. He's there with his glasses on the tip of his nose and his phone on his lap. Castiel instantly shuts it off and places it on the nightstand. "Can I talk to you?"

Castiel nods, "I miss our talks."

Dean smiles sadly, getting in the bed with Castiel but he stays a comfortable distance away. "I miss our talks too."

"Whats on your mind?"

Dean shrugs, "I'm sorry I get in trouble so much. I just have all this anger inside of me." he sighs in frustration, "I don't know what to do with it. It's just there-"

"Is this about your father?"

Dean looks at the ceiling, "No."

He doesn't press the issue, he lets Dean do the talking. 

After a few moments he begins again, "I'm always so angry...I don't feel it, but it's there and it comes out."

He's looking at the teenager in his bed, he notices a few scratches on his arm but he won't ask about it right then. He'll wait until another time. 

"Cas?" Dean lays back on the pillow, it's been years since he's lain on it. "Are you listening?"

Castiel nods, "Of course."

"What did I say?" Dean tests him, when he doesn't respond he smiles. "It's okay. I know you're stressed too."

"How do you know I'm stressed?" 

"You work in a hospital for one-" Dean smiles, his pointy teeth sticking out. "And you deal with me everyday."

Castiel laughs, "It was so much easier when you were little." he then closes his eyes, not wanting to make things weird again.

Dean tenses a bit, "Things were much more...simple, huh Cas." Castiel looks at him and Dean smiles, he knows. Dean knows he's _missed..._

Castiel closes his eyes, sighing "Dean..."

Dean bites his lip, "I know, Cas." he reaches over and touches his face for a second, "I know."

"What happened, between us?" Castiel looks at him longingly, "I know what we were doing was wrong-" tears start falling down the older man's face.

"Shh, Cas." Dean pulls Castiel closer to his side of the bed and cradles his head to his chest. "I'm sorry I grew up-" that only made Castiel cry harder. "I still love you."

"I love you too." he looks up to Dean, glancing at his lips and asks "Dean?"

Dean licks his lips, "I'm sorry...no." Castiel nods. "I love you, I do...but I didn't understand what we were doing back then."

Castiel straightens himself up in bed, taking off his glasses to set them on the nightstand before he turns off the lamp. "You should go to your room." he just had to hold on until the boy left his room, then he could let himself go.

Dean bit his lip again, "Goodnight, Cas." he got up and rushed out of the room. Castiel broke then. When Dean got into his own bed, he too broke down in tears. He really still loved Castiel. He wanted to kiss that man more than anything in the world. In Dean's heart nothing had changed, he just didn't want to risk being taken away from Castiel. He's kept his distance for a few years and it was killing him. Dean was trying to wait until he was Eighteen, then their relationship would be legal. He missed Castiel so much...he just had to keep away. _For now.._

_

The following Evening Castiel comes home to find the whole house in darkness. He knew Dean would be asleep seeing as it was almost Three in the morning, he hates that he comes home so late when he works. Castiel walks down the hall, he hears music from Deans room. With his foot he pushes the door open a little, he's there asleep. He recognized the soft voice as Taylor swift and she was singing something about a Last Kiss or something like that. Castiel smiles, he would never make fun of Dean for listening to Taylor Swift. It was so unlike him though, he's only ever heard of Dean liking the same music John used to. Metallica and Zeppelin. 

If he didn't know any better he would think he was heartbroken. But who was he mourning over? Dean hasn't had any girlfriends or boyfriends. 

-

So when February rolls around he asks Dean, "Why don't you ask Jo to be your Valentine, hmm?" 

Dean struggles to swallow the lucky charms he had been chewing on, when he finally does he asks "What?"

Castiel takes a sip of coffee, "It's almost Valentines Day, Why don't you ask Jo out? I'll give you some money so you can take her on a date."

Dean rubs his face in agony, "Cas, she's super religious. Doubt her parents will let her go anywhere with me.

Now that Castiel thinks about it, the few times he's seen her she's worn skirts that go all the way to her ankles and never stands to close to Dean or Sam. "What kind of religious?"

Dean throws his hands in the air, "I don't know but she's something!"

Castiel covers his mouth to conceal a laugh. "I liked her for you."

"Only because you know she won't give it up to me." Dean glares at him.

"Exactly, she looks like a good girl." Castiel pats his head before standing, "Just call and ask her if she can go out with you, a movie maybe."

"Fine. I'll ask."

**February 14**

Dean's excited. He's in the bathroom buttoning up a red shirt and he's wearing dark jeans with boots. He looks really handsome, Castiel's watching him get ready. "Don't forget cologne." he suggests.

"Shut up." Dean puts some gel in his hair and finishes with two sprays of Castiel's cologne. They share everything now that Dean's older. "How do I look?" 

Castiel's heart gives a hard thud, "She's lucky." 

Dean blushes but hides it by suddenly brushing his teeth, "You can go now-" he says, mouth full of toothpaste. Castiel goes. 

The plan was for Jo to get dropped off at the house, and he would drive both Dean and Jo to the movies. There's a knock at the door and she's there, Jo. She looks so pretty in a red dress that goes almost all the way down to her ankles but not quite. She's got on shiny black flats on and her hair is down in loose waves. "Hello, Come in." he lets her in, "Dean!" he calls out.

Dean comes rushing in, he's pulling on his black denim jacket and shoves his cellphone in his front pocket. He looks Jo up and down and smiles genuinely, "You look so pretty.." he has to blink to snap out of it, "Kay, lets go."

When they arrive at the movies, Castiel slips Dean a hundred dollar bill without Jo looking and he winks at him. "Be nice to her."

Dean pockets the money and rolls his eyes, "Obviously." Both teenagers jump out of the car, Castiel sees Dean wrap his arm around her protectively as they walk up to the theatre. He can't help but feel happy for him, yet there's a pang of sadness.

A few hours later he's back to pick them up and he parks up at front, he sees Dean and Jo already waiting outside but they have yet to see him- he could honk and grab their attention but instead he observes them. Dean looks happy and Jo is hugging herself, like shes nervous but she's smiling. Castiel sees Dean wrap his arms around her, looking down into her eyes before kissing her. It's such a chaste and innocent kiss, lasting no more than a few seconds. Jo snuggles into Dean's neck and he sees Dean laughing, swaying them both as they hug. It looks so playful. He could never rob him of something like this, for once he's glad Dean's with someone his age even if it's just this one date.

Dean finally sees Castiel, he waves and they both walk up to the car but they don't get in. Castiel is about to wonder why until Dean hugs her again and she runs off to get into another car, her mom's car. Castiel smiles when Dean gets in, "I see that it went well."

Dean buckles in, his face is completely red. "Fuck you."

Castiel laughs, willing the jealousy to go down. "Tell me how it went." he says, driving home.

He rubs a hand over his face, "I like her, she's actually pretty cool- for a religious chick."

"Dean, be nice when you talk about her. She's a good girl."

Dean nods, "I know she is, I respect her. She's the kinda girl I'd marry."

Castiel almost slams on the breaks hearing that, Dean's hands hold onto the dashboard in front of him. "Don't fucking kills us!" Dean hisses.

"Sorry." Castiel couldn't believe what he said, "You'd marry her?" he can't help but ask.

"Not what I said, Cas-" he relaxes back into his seat "-But yea, she...reminds me of my mom."

Castiel searches his brain, and yes- Jo does resemble Mary in a way. "Hmm."

They arrive home, and Dean's stripping off his jacket and his button down shirt as he makes his way to his room. Castiel doesn't say anything else about Jo, he feels if he does he may let on that he's jealous. "You gonna eat anything?" he asks Dean, who now stands in just his jeans.

"No, we had a lot of junk during the movie." 

"I've got a headache, I'm going to bed." Castiel says, not looking at him. Dean notices but lets him go without question. It's killing him just as much to have to stay away, Jo is only a distraction. He wishes he could take back what he said about marrying her. He didn't mean it, did he?

When Castiel sleeps in the next morning, Dean gets worried. He goes into the kitchen and makes the guy a bagel and some coffee. Castiels Go To breakfast. Balancing a small plate and a mug of coffee he knocks on the bedroom door. When there's no answer Dean opens the door to find Castiel awake, looking at the ceiling, "Hey." Castiel looks at him, he moves to sit up in bed. "I made you breakfast." he smiles, coming inside the room carefully. After he sets down the plate and mug on the nightstand he reaches into his pajama pockets and pulls out a small bottle. "Got you these."

Castiel puts on his glasses to read the label on the bottle and takes two pills, even though he lied about his headache last night he did manage to wake up with one this morning. "Thank you." 

Dean sits on the edge of the bed, "You okay?"

Castiel sighs, taking his pills with his coffee. "Yeah, M'fine."

Dean nods, "Right."

"You should text Jo, let her know you didn't forget about her already."

Dean laughs, "I already sent her a good morning text."

Castiel opens his eyes, "Aren't you the best boyfriend."

Dean blushes. "Shut up, were only friends."

Castiel sighs, "Why are you home?"

"I got suspended."

"You failed to mention that to me-"

"I'm sorry, Cas."

"For how long?"

"Two weeks..."

"Two weeks!" Castiel shouts, he gasps and clutches at his chest. 

Dean jumps up and moves closer, "Cas, you okay?"

Castiel coughs, "I'm fine." shrugging Dean's hands off his shoulders. He tries to stand up and he clutches at his chest again as more pain hits him. "Fuck me-" he groans.

"I think you need to go to the hospital-" Dean nibbles his bottom lip in worry, "Let's go."

Castiel looks up at him, before he can protest Dean is hooking his arm around his neck and lifting him up, all he can say is "When did you get so strong-"

Dean snorts, "Shut up-" he guides Castiel to his running sneakers that are by the closet and Castiel steps into them. Dean helps him to the door, he grabs Castiel's keys and he opens his mouth to protest but Dean speaks up, "Sam's mom has been teaching us how to drive for months-" he smiles wide with pride.

Castiel swallows, Dean is growing way too fast. Before he can process, he's being buckled into the passengers side and Dean hops around to the drivers side, turning on the engine. Castiel looks at him, squinting. "Am I dreaming?"

Dean smiles, "Yea, sure." 

"Good." Castiel lets himself rest against the leather of his car seat. 

Dean drives the speed limit, when they get to the hospital he parks the car and he pokes Castiel. "We're here. Wake up."

Castiel doesn't wake up. Dean hesitantly gropes the man's crotch, surely that causes him to jump up, wide awake. He doesn't know why he's suddenly wide awake and it makes the teenager laugh. "Come on-" he nods and Castiel lets himself out of the car, Dean soon comes to help him walk inside. 

"I'm fine, I don't know why were here." Castiel finally says, he's in a hospital gown and already hooked up to an IV drip. 

"You had chest pain, Cas." Dean says, pacing around the room. Castiel watched Dean pace back and forth, admiring how cute he looked wearing a black henley with gray sweatpants and his boots. His hair was sticking up at all sides. "What are you looking at?" Dean sulks.

"Nothing." Castiel swallows, bringing up one knee so that his erection can be somewhat hidden. He really doesn't want to pitch a tent in this thin hospital gown.

Dean keeps pacing, he's biting his fingernails when a nurse walks in. "Hello, love." She says, Castiel lights up a little bit. "Heard you were having chest pains." she sounds worried. 

Meg, takes his hand and Castiel looks at Dean. "You remember Meg don't you?" 

Dean nods, "Hi." he walks over to her and extends his hand for her to shake. She takes it and shakes. "Nice to see you." he says out of simple human courtesy.

"Aww, He's so proper. I love it." she coos, "Don't worry, Castiel. We're gonna do a couple tests. If everything's clear, you can go home." Dean nods, watching her go. He starts biting his nails again and pacing.

"Come here." Castiel says, clearly seeing that Dean's hand is trembling. "I'm gonna be fine."

Dean wipes a tear away, he's mostly scared because he's never seen Castiel like this. Castiel has always been strong and healthy. "Have you had chest pain before?" he holds onto Castiel's hand.

Castiel closes his eyes, he's sleepy. "No."

Dean whines, for a moment he sounds like a child again. "Where's the fucking nurse-" he suddenly says and leaves the room before he can protest. When Dean comes back with Meg, she has an EKG machine with her. "Alright, Love. It's time for-" When they see Castiel clutching at his chest again they both stop- the monitor begins to beep loudly and she grabs Dean by the shoulders to push him out of the room gently, "We need space, okay. He's fine. Just let me do my job." A doctor joins the room and the door is closed in Dean's face.

Dean's so worried, by the time Meg comes out she smiles at him. "Castiel's fine, we just need to wait on the results of his EKG- Hey, he's okay-" she says, she notices Dean is trembling. "I'm actually more worried about you right now, do you feel okay?" 

Dean blinks, "Wha-?" suddenly he feels more scared than he was, but he doesn't know why he's so afraid. He clutches at the arm rests of the chair he was sitting on in the hallway, he feels like nothing is real. 

"Dean?" Meg looks into his eyes but he isn't looking into hers. He's looking right through her. "Dean, I think you're having a panic attack. Stay here. I'm going to get you something to drink."

Dean nods, she sounds so far away. "What the fuck is happening to me-" he tries to hold onto his head but the whole world seems to slant to one side and he holds onto the chair again. Meg comes back with an apple juice and a small bag of chips, "Not hungry." he says.

"You need some sugar and salt in your body right now." She crouches down so she's on his level as he's sat on the chair, Castiel had made her aware of his issues in the past. From John, to his eating habits. Dean looked healthy, but he ate less than he probably should. 

He tries to take the juice and bag of chips but he quickly holds onto the chair again, "Why do I feel like I'm gonna fall?" he whispers to her, his eye's watering in fear.

She smiles sadly, "You're having a panic attack sweetie. You're okay, it's gonna pass."

Dean nods, "Shit, Cas." 

"Shhh, he's okay. Every test came back negative." she tries to comfort the boy by running her fingers through his short hair. 

Dean's eyes close at the affection, he relaxes but still has a death grip on the chair. "Then why does he have chest pain?"

"Probably stress related." 

Dean opens his eyes, he tries to stand and fear takes over yet again. This time Castiel catches him, "Cas?" Dean looks up at him, he feels like he's drunk. He's never been drunk before and now he never wants to be if it feels like this. "You're okay."

Castiel smiles, "Told you I was fine." he holds Dean up, "Meg says you're having a panic attack."

Dean blinks, "I-I feel drunk." he flinches really hard and shuts his eyes, "I feel like I'm falling-"

Castiel looks at Meg with worry, he mouths the words 'what's wrong with him?"

Meg whispers in his ear, "I think it's PTSD or a panic attack."

Castiel nods, he guides Dean to sit down again. "Why don't you eat some of these before we go home-" 

Dean nods, he tries to open the bag but he's trembling too hard. Castiel opens it for him and feeds him a few chips and he finishes the apple juice. "I'm sorry. I was supposed to be the hero today and fucking take care of you and now look at me-" he says miserably, looking away.

Meg excuses herself and Castiel comforts him, "Dean, you did amazing taking care of me. You forget that I'm under so much stress here at the hospital when I come into work-I eat right and I exercise, I didn't think I was having a heart attack." he rubs the boys back. "I'd actually be shocked if I ever had one."

"Not funny." Dean hands him the empty box of juice. "What the fuck is a panic attack? I've never had this happen before."

Castiel leans in closer, "It probably triggered when you worried about me. It can happen during stressful times."

"Feels like somethings physically wrong with me-I fucking hate this shit-" Dean mumbles, his hands gripping the arm rests again. "Feels like I'm gonna fall off the planet or somethin, feels like if I move I'm gonna fall. Ugh fuck this shit-" he tries to get up but again feels like he needs to hold onto the chair. He can't help himself and his shoulders shake as he begins to cry. 

Castiel wraps his arms around him in an attempt to comfort and when Dean doesn't hug back he knows it's because he needs to hold onto the chair. "Take your time."

When Castiel pulls away, Dean looks at his lips and kisses him. Castiel is so surprised it takes him a few seconds before he kisses back, he pulls away before they can be seen by anyone. It's much like the kiss he gave Jo, no real passion behind it. When they make eye contact, Dean nods. Castiel helps him up, this time he holds onto him for dear life.

"Am I gonna be okay?" Dean asks brokenly, "I've never felt this horrible, even when I was actually sick."

Castiel nods, "Panic attacks can feel this way." he rubs the teens back, guiding him back to the car. 

Dean feels the world tilting side to side as if he were on a boat and he knows riding in the car is going to trip him out something awful.


	19. Cassie

It's been a long week.

Castiel got a few days off after going to the hospital, honestly he felt better as soon as all of his tests came back negative for everything. Dean was the real worry in his mind now, he's never seen the kid in a full blown panic like that. The ride home was extremely difficult as well, with Dean holding onto his seat belt for dear life. If he didn't know any better it was like he was seeing Demons everywhere.

He's just happy Dean hasn't gotten into any more fights at school and hopes he doesn't get called in again. These days Dean stays up late and he goes to school early, Castiel now drops him off most mornings. He has indeed received one phone call but that was more out of concern from one of his teachers who was worried about him. Why now though? Dean's been through so much- The neglect, the abuse... his Mom leaving then his Dad leaving. Dean didn't show much distress then and now all of a sudden...

Dean's not eating much, he tells Castiel he can't eat when he feels like he's falling. He tells Castiel he's scared to fall asleep because he feels like he's going to fade away. Dean's scared but the boy doesn't know why he's so afraid.

Castiel wondered what he could do to make Dean feel better, the kid needed a distraction. The idea came to him when he and Sam had gone off to practice driving around with Sam's mother- he decided he would get Dean a car. Nothing fancy of course since hes still young and he might end up wrecking it anyways. He always knew he loved his fathers car, that damn 67' chevy impala but that car was too big. He looked around craigslist for a few weeks and stumbled upon a 79' chevy impala. It was a little dented and rusted. It was a dark green and matte, probably painted over. _It was perfect for Dean._

Castiel met up with the seller and was able to talk him down a little on the price and drove her home, it barely ran but hey- Dean was the son of a mechanic, surely he knew a thing or two about how to fix her. Maybe all she needed was some spark plugs and a tune up, perhaps some new tires too. He parked her on the driveway next to his own car knowing Dean would see her on his way back from school.

"Cas!" Dean barked, slamming the front door behind him. Castiel smiled, already knowing Dean saw his new gift out in the driveway. "Whose car is that?" he points outside with the most confused look on his face.

Castiel cane to the door, crossed his arms at his chest, "You like her?" 

Dean blushed, putting his hand up to his mouth. "No fucking way. Is it mine?" Castiel nods and Dean lunges forward- grabbing him into the tightest bear hug ever. "Cas, What the fuck?"

Castiel peels the teen off of himself, "It's somewhat of a late birthday present. My original present to you of clothes was pretty boring." 

"Is the car really mine?" he asks again.

Castiel opens the front door to go outside with Dean trailing behind, "What are you naming your first car?"

Dean walks slowly around the car, running his hand over the matte finish of the paint. "Cassie." he smiles proudly

Castiel looks away to hide his blush, "How fitting."

Now Dean starts to do something he's never done before, he stars baby talking the car. "Heya Cassie, gonna treat you so good." it's somewhere between cooing and mumbling to the car. Castiel only stares at him. "Baby Cassie-

"Alright, Dean. Before you make love to her-" he pulls out the keys to the car out from his jeans pocket. He throws them at Dean.

Dean makes a face like he contemplates making love to Cassie, he catches the keys and lets himself inside. There is some wear and tear, but it's all on the surface and he doesn't mind. "Does she run?"

"Just barely-" 

Dean stars the car, "Listen to her purr." he smiles lovingly at Castiel, who gets into the passenger side. 

Castiel looks at him, "If you're going to develop some weird car fetish I should probably take her away from you." He says it as a joke but he can't tell because the teen's got hearts in his green eyes.

"You just don't get me." Dean turns on the radio, a Metallica song plays. "Could this be more perfect."

Castiel groans, "You're Seventeen, listen to something more modern. Like, Taylor swift or something."

Dean rolls his eyes, "Is it cool if me and Sam fix her up together?"

"I thought we could-"

"No offense Cas, but maybe if this were a medical thing we-" he stops when he realize he's hurt the man's feelings, "Sorry...I just don't take you for the getting down and dirty type."

Castiel rubs with face, "You really are John's son." he reaches his hand over to rub the boys face gently with the back of his hand and he smiles when he feels stubble. "You're growing up."

Dean swallows, his throat and mouth feel dry. "What was your dad like?"

The question catches Castiel by surprise, "He was a surgeon."

Dean nods, smiling. "So guess the medical thing runs in your family. The car thing runs in mine." his face falls and it looks sad now, "Family business I guess. I have an uncle whose got a car garage but I don't see him ever."

"You want to be a mechanic like your father then?" Castiel asks.

Dean shrugs, "Mechanic or maybe a fire fighter. They've always been cool." he looks over at Castiel and suddenly he realizes the setting is kind of romantic. They're sitting there, having a somewhat deep conversation in a cool car. The sun is setting outside. It is romantic. Suddenly he's overwhelmed by the urge to kiss. 

"I say we wait, fix her up a little bit before we take her out for a ride. We really don't want to get stranded somewhere." Castiel mumbles, looking through the little car manual he found in the glove compartment. 

"Cas?" Dean rasps, when Castiel looks at him he licks his lips. "I-"

"What is it, Dean?" 

He wishes he could just grab the man and shove his tongue in his mouth and get lost in him. "I-fuck. Thank you." he ends up saying, "Thank you for the car, I already love her."

Castiel smiles sadly, "You're welcome. Are you hungry?" he changes the subject, "Let's go inside."

Dean sighs an unsteady breath, "You go ahead, I just wanna sit here a while. Breathe a little bit." Castiel nods and squeezes his shoulder before he goes inside to make them both something to eat. By now the suns already set and it's pretty dark outside as he sits in his new-old car. He's running his hands over the steering wheel, over the old and worn leather of the interior. He looks down and realize his dick is hard in his jeans. "You got to be kidding me." he grumbles.

Dean looks around, his hand starts ghosting over the bulge in his pants and It feels good. It's been so long since he's had sex at all, with Castiel of course and it's been so long since he's even touched himself. His fingers contemplate doing something about the erection in his pants, he decides to go for it- his eyes fixed on the front door. Last thing he needs is Castiel catching him jerking it in the car he just gave him. He unzips his jeans and pushes them down just enough for his dick to spring up, he sighs, eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds. His eyes are fixed on the door once again, he begins to stroke slowly and lazily. His eyes dart over to the larger window of the house next to the garage, he can see Castiel there. Walking around in the kitchen making something. Dean bites his lip and focuses his eyes at Castiel instead, they never leave the kitchen curtains open for this reason- you can see right in but for once he's glad they're open.

He begins to pant as he strokes himself harder and faster, his other hand gripping the steering wheel. He's got to hold onto something after all. Dean catches the look of pain Castiel gets when he burns his hand a little bit when he opens the oven, in any other situation he'd laugh but right now- nothing is funny. It's almost like Castiel can feel eyes on him, the man turns around and looks him right in the eye. Dean stills, like he's caught but in reality he can't see anything from the chest down. He breathes out, Castiel waves him over from the window. Dean smiles and shakes his head, "Come on get a grip." he mumbles out loud and stuffs his chubbed up dick in his jeans again. "How the hell am I gonna hide this shit-" he whines, locking the car door before making his way inside.

Dean walks inside, looking at the kitchen table and seeing a freshly baked apple pie and a pot of coffee. So that's what Castiel pulled out of the oven. "Looks good, No dinner?"

Castiel sat down, pouring some coffee into a mug. "Dean, I think I know your eating habits by now. You rarely eat dinner. You usually just like something sweet and coffee."

Dean smiles before pulling out a chair at the table to sit down, "You really know me." he pulls the pie closer to himself and grabs a knife to cut a slice. 

"Careful it's hot-" he warns.

"Fuck-" Dean burns himself and brings his thumb to his mouth to sooth the pain. The kitchen is silent and he notices Castiel is wearing a sky blue shirt and black sweatpants. He becomes more aware of the hard dick in his jeans, it's starting to hurt.

"Is everything okay?" 

The look on Castiel's face doesn't help, he's worried but he looks so handsome with his hair all messed up from the long day. Dean fidgets in his chair, "Yeah, it just hurt-" he sucks the skin on his thumb again.

"Run it under some cold water-"

Dean's about to stand and go do just that before he realizes he's got a huge hard on right now, "I'll be okay." he sighs, before he grabs the knife and cuts into the pie, serving himself two slices and Castiel another.

"You can always talk to me-" Castiel starts, pouring Dean some coffee now.

"Damn it, Cas. I said I'm fine." He shoves a fork-full of pie into his mouth.

Castiel backs off and resumes eating his own slice of pie, he's got his fork in his right hand as he eats and his cellphone is in his left hand- he's scrolling. "I make good pie." he says out of nowhere.

Dean snorts, shoveling it in. "Yea, you do." 

Castiel's just happy that Dean is eating at all. It's these rare moments where Dean just- Eats, that he loves to witness. "Do you have plans? It is Friday."

Dean looks up at him, "Think I'm staying in tonight." Castiel smiles, since Valentines Day he and Jo seem pretty smitten. They go out to the park and share a milkshake or they go to a movie every Friday. Sometimes Jo's mother goes with them, but Dean doesn't mind. He kinda likes Ellen.

"You like Jo a lot don't you?" Castiel clears his throat, setting his phone down.

Dean wipes his mouth on a napkin, he's finished eating. "She's pretty cute, yea." He can tell Castiel is trying to ask something so he says it first. "I haven't slept with her in case you were wondering."

Castiel looks relieved. "I wasn't going to ask that but thank you for letting me know."

"Like you said, Cas. She's a good girl and good girls don't give it up until their wedding night." Castiel gulps and looks into Dean's eyes, "I'll just fuck her senseless then, right?" 

"Dean." Castiel scolds. "Don't be a pig."

Dean laughs, he loves saying things that make Castiel mad. "Do you think she'll bleed all over the bed when I pop her cherry?" his nose scrunches up. 

"Dean!" 

Dean gives him a puppy dog look, "What?" he gulps.

"Don't be crass." 

Dean tries again, "Do you think I'll get her pregnant the first try? I bet I'll get her pregnant real quick-"

Castiel looks like he might smack him right then and he can't help it, maybe he want's to get smacked. Or worse. Castiel stands up and pulls Dean up by his shirt -"What's wrong with you? If you keep talking like that I won't let you anywhere near that girl. I'm not going to let you ruin her."

Dean gulps, but his expression is a daring one "What if I want to ruin her." he tries to get away but Castiel has a strong hold on him. For a nerdy guy Castiel is very strong, he keeps forgetting. "Maybe-I'll just take her virginity now."

Castiel shakes him roughly, "No you won't."

Dean licks his lips, whispering - "I could just rape her if I wanted to."

Castiel winces at the words, "What did you say?"

Dean swallows, "You heard me." he has no idea why he's saying these things, he's never thought about doing that to anyone much less someone as sweet as Jo- if he ever did anything of the sort he has Ellen to answer to. That's how it is when you date good girls, you have to answer to their parents. He knows this game of 'how far can you push Castiel's buttons before he gets mad' has gone to far but he can't stop it. He's pissed and some twisted part of him want's to get his ass beat. "I bet she tastes just like a peach-" before he can finish his sentence Castiel slaps him on the cheek, and hard. He stumbles backward onto the chair. 

"You're not allowed to see that girl anymore."

Dean rubs his cheek, he's not mad he got slapped. He kinda liked it. "Ellen will kill me if I disappear on her daughter. I can't break her heart like that, Cas."

Castiel hates the smug look on his face, "But raping her is fine?" his tone is angry.

Dean shrugs, "Her dad ran out on her, she's probably dying for a man to hold her and love her-" 

"Enough! Go to your room!" Castiel turns away from the teenager, unable to look at him.

Dean stands up, staring at the back of his head and debates if he wants to go further. He wishes Castiel would ruin him. He wants more, something worse to happen.

"Now!" Castiel roars and he flinches, he decides it's enough and he goes to his room. He sighs and not at all surprised when Metallica starts blasting from Dean's room. "Dean!" he marches over to the the room and bangs on his door with a closed fist. He tests the door but it's locked. "Open the door."

Dean only turns it on louder, clearly not done with being a shit for the day. What's he gonna do, knock the door down? He knows Castiel is strong but he can't be _that_ strong.

When Dean doesn't open up he goes to shower and after that he heads to bed, Castiel's looking up at the ceiling and by now he's got the whole Metallica album Dean's been blaring memorized. Suddenly the music stops and he sighs in relief. If he had gotten up to check on the teenager he'd realize he sneaked out of his room to pay Jo a visit.

Dean is crazy enough to walk to Jo's house, she doesn't live that far but on foot she's a good Forty Five minutes away. He can see the light on in her room, he taps on the glass of her window gently. He's certain Jo doesn't hear it until he tries again, her TV shuts off and the curtain pulls back to reveal her sweet face and blonde curls. "Dean?" she says when she opens the window.

Dean smiles kindly at her, "Aren't you gonna let me in?"

She hesitates, "You shouldn't be here." When Dean keeps looking at her, she opens the window all the way and lets him climb through. "Are you okay?"

Dean pretends to look sad, he rubs his cheek. "My Step dad slapped me, Jo." he confesses, trying to get sympathy from her.

Innocent little Jo gasps, holding Dean's face and kisses his red cheek. Dean turns his face and catches her lips before she can kiss his cheek again. "Hmm."

"I'm scared." Jo pulls away from the kiss, her hands tugging her night dress down. Dean follows the movement and his eyebrows shoot up in interest, her night gown doesn't cover nowhere near past her knees. It captures his interest.

He licks his lips, "Nothing to be scared of sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you." Dean whispers in her ear, cradling the back of her head and he holds her and just as he suspected, she melts into the embrace and clings onto him. "You're not scared of me are you?"

She pulls back to look up into his eyes, she shakes her head. "We've never been alone before, that's all."

Dean looks around the room, he's smart. He starts swaying them back onto her bed slowly - "Where's your mom?"

Jo gasps when the back of her legs touch the edge of the bed, "She's at the bar working late, she should be back any minute now..." 

Dean lays her back softly, nodding. "You're so pretty." he whispers, kissing the side of her face then her neck - near her ear and she whines. "You like that?" Now she's laying fully on her back, with Dean above her. With her eyes half open, she nods. Dean continues, "I bet you're pretty all over-" his hand is on her thigh, his fingers going under her night gown.

She tenses, "Dean, Please stop...I can't-" she feels his hands rubbing over her cotton panties.

"Can I see it?" Dean asks in her ear before his tongue nibbles her earlobe. She moans quietly and Dean loves it. Since he didn't get a 'no' he continues, never thought being with a girl could be so exciting. He ends up pushing the nightgown up to reveal her panties, Jo looks at him with a scared look. "Shh, it's okay."

Jo shakes her head, "Don't."

"I promise you'll like it-" he leans in and kisses her, she instantly relaxes and when her mouth opens he shoves his tongue inside. French kissing her, it's slow but Dean makes the kiss dirty. When she moans, he loses it- his hands reach down blindly and he rips the panties off her body. His eyes dart down and he sees her, sees a girls privates for the first time. "God, what a pretty little thing-" he gulps.

Jo shakes her head, "I'm not ready, wait-"

Dean places his hands on her knees and spreads them open, she turns away and closes her eyes. "So fucking pretty-" he runs his fingers over her privates, when they come away wet he smiles. "You feel ready to me." Dean knows nothing about sex with a girl so he does what he's seen in porn before, he unzips his jeans and takes his dick out. He strokes it a few times all while Jo watches him. He rubs his dick along her slit and tries to push in, but it hurts them both. "You need to relax." 

Jo whimpers, she tries to hug Dean but Dean holds her down. "Stop it. Let me just do this- " he keeps trying to push in again, it won't give. "I get you're a virgin but damn is there even a hole in there-" 

"Stop being so mean!" she cries, covering her face.

"Hey-hey, okay. I'm sorry." Dean gets close and kisses her cheeks where there's tears, "I care about you, Jo." 

She sniffles, "You do?" when Dean nods she hugs him, her legs wrapping around Dean's waist. Dean cuddles into her, his face between her breasts. He starts moving his hips slowly, his dick jabbing at her slit. "That hurts, Dean-"

He kisses her breasts before sucking on one of her nipples- she gasps and feels her relax. "That's my girl-" Dean moans loudly when he finally manages to push in an inch of his dick inside her. It's snug but it feels amazing for him. "Fuck it's so warm-"

"Dean-" She pants, squirming under him. 

"It's okay baby girl, you're my good girl-" Dean pushes back so that he's on his knees, he want's to see his dick inside of her. Well, the inch that fits in there. "It's so tight-" he spreads her lips open with his thumbs as if that would allow him to enter fully. "So wet-" Dean closes his eyes, he can't help but groan at the feeling. When he opens his eyes he looks down, pushing another half inch and when he pulls out a little he sees a bit of red dribbling down along her pale skin. "Fuck."

"Whats wrong?" 

"Nothing sweetheart." he really did pop her cherry. Castiel forbid it and now it's exactly what he did, suddenly the whole pregnancy conversation Castiel kept pressing a few years back is on his mind. "Fuck-" he starts pulling out slowly from her heat.

"Why are you stopping?" she closes her legs and props herself up on her elbows. Dean grabs a little throw blanket she had nearby and cleans his dick off on it and then he opens her legs again, wiping at her lips. "Why are you cleaning me-" she looks down at the blanket coming away with red stains. "Oh my god, I thought my period was over-I'm sorry." she takes the blanket from Dean and presses it against herself.

"Yea...It's okay, Jo." he kisses her cheek, "We'll try again when your periods done. Kay?"

Jo nods, blushing. "Are you leaving?"

"Yea, I'll call you." he kisses her forehead and climbs out the window.

"No, you won't."

_

Dean walks back home and takes his time, he's thinking maybe Castiel found out he isn't there. Maybe he called the cops and reported him missing. Who knows what he's going to go home to. When he reaches the driveway almost an hour since he left Jo's place, there's nothing. All the lights are off in the house and there's no cops. Dean sighs and walks up and climbs in through his bedroom window.

The whole walk home Dean feels sticky down there, it sure is different when you stick it inside of a vagina. He can't decide it he likes this part. He strips off his clothes and he starts his walk to the bathroom- someone clears their throat in the dark and he startles. "Dean." he sees Castiel there just outside his bedroom door, this guy is a freaking ninja sometimes. Always popping up to catch him. He realizes he's naked and he covers his sticky junk with his hands. 

Castiel doesn't look down at his privates, he keeps eye contact. "You're showering at four in the morning?"

Dean nods.

Castiel squints at him, "Alright, but make it quick and go to bed. I'm still not happy with you."

Dean hurries into the bathroom and turns on the water.

Castiel opens the door to Dean's room, the window is still open. He'll question Dean in the morning about that.

_

A few days later Dean comes home to a box of condoms on his bed, he picks it up. "CAS!" he yells, Castiel comes and leans against the door frame. "What the hell is this?"

Castiel crosses his arms at his chest. "Those are condoms, Dean."

"I know what these are." he throws the box at Castiel and it hits him in the chest.

"I got them for you just in case."

"In case we wanna have sex?"

Castiel smiles, "Hmm."

Dean blushes, realizing he meant for him and Jo. He tries to play it off, "Jo's a prude, she won't do it with me anyway." 

Castiel notices his eyes are a little shifty. "Hmm, alright." 

Dean turns around and bites his fist, Castiel is sometimes a mind reader. If he doesn't look in his eyes he won't know he's already popped Jo's cherry and ran. He's surprised he hasn't even heard from Jo since. It hits him he's supposed to call her, he did promise. "But I gotta call Jo..."

"Sure, Dean. There's pizza in the kitchen. I'll be back from my run soon."

Dean nods, when Castiel leaves he picks up his phone and dials Jo. She doesn't pick up, it's strange because she always picks up and if she doesn't she calls right back. She's like in love with him already. Ellen's convinced herself they're getting married one day. Dean's waiting to turn Eighteen so he can freely be with Castiel again, now he's not so sure they're ever getting back together again. Dean gives up and goes to sit at the kitchen table and devours three slices of pizza. He dials Jo's home phone this time, Ellen answers. 

"Hi, it's Dean-"

"Dean, how you been?"

"Fine, Ma'm. Jo around? She hasn't answered my calls-" he's aware he's being a bit possessive but he can't help it. He feels all primal towards her now that he's been inside her. 

"She's here. She's been in bed the last few days."

"She sick?" 

"Dean, it's a girl thing shes dealing with right now. You don't want to hear about girl problems-"

"You mean her period?"

"The girl's had her period twice this month, don't know whats wrong."

Dean swallows, "That's not normal is it?"

"No, It's not. I'll tell Jo to give you a call, alright?"

Dean nods but knows she can't see him so he responds. "Yea, sure. I hope she gets better." he hangs up and Castiel picks that moment to come home from his run, all panting and sweaty. He sees Dean, pale faced at the kitchen table.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened." He picks up another slice of pizza and eats.

Castiel smiles because he's glad the boys eating. He sits down at the table and picks up a slice himself, digging in. "Nice to see we still have something in common."

"Wha?"

"We both still love pizza."

Dean nods, forcing a smile before he gets up "Think I'm gonna go see Jo. I talked to Ellen, she said she's been in bed sick for a few days. If I don't show my face they'll know I'm a piece of shit." he says it miserably like he knows he's an asshole. "I won't take long."

Castiel stands too, "Do you need a ride?"

"I'll walk- It's okay." 

When Dean sees Jo- it's not what he imagined. He imagined her in bed pale as a ghost from all the blood loss but she was there in her pink jammies, her hair up in a messy ponytail. She was watching cartoons in bed, Sailor moon or some shit- he vaguely remembers the anime but he can recognize the theme song. "Hey."

She turns her head to see him standing right outside her open door, he waves at her like a dumb ass. She doesn't really look happy to see him. She usually behaves like a little lovesick puppy around him - begging for little kisses. Not anymore.

She pulls her stuffed bear into her lap, "Why are you here?"

Dean shrugs, walking into her room as if he didn't just defile her in it a few days ago. He sits on the edge of her perfectly made bed, suddenly feeling like he doesn't belong somewhere so nice and pretty. "Your mom said you were sick."

She hugs her bear tightly, her eyes focused on the TV. "I just got my period." 

"About that-" Dean scratches his head, "She said you got it twice?"

She gets upset, "I got my period last week and then you stuck your thing in me and my period came back- end of story." her eyes are glaring at him that he's forced to look down at the floor. 

"Jo I'm sorry." he feels like he's getting a headache from the look she's giving him. 

"Sorry for what?" Dean looks at her and sees that she no longer looks like an innocent little girl. He just shrugs.

"I hate you." Jo whispers. "I hate you, Dean Winchester."

Dean wipes his eyes, he's usually tougher than this- he doesn't cry much anymore but the way she's looking at him is forcing the tears to come down his face. "You really hate me, Jo?"

"Yes!" She throws her bear at him, "I was falling in love with you! and you-you!" she gets on her knees on the bed and starts punching and slapping at Dean's arm - it doesn't hurt at all and Dean lets her have at it. He deserves it. Dean eventually grabs her and wraps her in a hug, he kisses her cheek. "I hate you-" she says weakly.

"I hate me too." he rocks her back and forth in his arms. "I know I shouldn't have come to your house that night.."

"That's not what I'm mad at!" she yells, shoving him away."I'm mad you took my virginity and left- You didn't even call the next day! And now my body hurts all over and I'm bleeding!" 

Dean winces at the truth in her words, he left before he could finish because he didn't wan't to get her pregnant but yeah, her version sounds bad- like really bad. He winces again when he hears the loud footsteps of good ole momma bear running to the rescue. "What did you just say?" he looks towards the door, and there she is. Ellen.

Dean quickly stands, holding his hands up like she's the police. 

Jo whines, "Mom please, I'm sorry I yelled-I'm just so hormonal because-" she rubs her stomach, "I'm on my period."

"I'm not mad at you baby, Dean on the other hand-" She looks Dean up at down, "It's not bad enough you take advantage of my Sixteen year old daughter-she still plays with barbies, how could you? You should know better-"

"Mom!" Jo screams.

Ellen grabs Dean by his shirt and drags him out of her room, "I'll be calling Castiel about this." she says once she throws him out of the house. "I don't want you sniffing around my Jo anymore." Dean's on the grass of her front yard, panting. "You better pray you didn't get my girl pregnant." she says before slamming the door.

Dean turns over and crawls away before she comes back, he slowly gets up and starts his walk home. Castiel is going to kill him. Sure enough, he gets to the house and Castiel is standing there when he walks in, looking furious. He's afraid to say anything so he stays quiet. Dean's aware he looks like a mess, his hair is gross- and he's sweaty from walking home. His shirt is stretched out at the collar from where Ellen grabbed him.

"Jo's mother called."

Dean nods, "Just punish me, get it over with." 

Castiel shakes his head, "What am I going to do with you, Dean." When the teenager doesn't respond he gets angry, "Damn it, Dean. Have you no remorse for the things you do? You beat your classmates up at school and now you hurt Jo. Who by the way, I really liked!"

Dean can't look the man in the eyes, he knows he's a coward. His eyes remained focused on his boots.

"Dean!" Castiel grabs Dean's chin and turns his head his way. "Look at me."

Dean hesitates but looks anyway. "What."

"That's all you have to say?" 

Dean flinches, "I guess-"

"You're really testing my patience-"

Dean shoves him roughly. "So fucking hit me then!" he yells, shoving the man again. "Hit me!"

Castiel stumbles backwards, "Is that what you want, boy? You want me to hit you?" he grabs Dean by the back of the neck. 

Dean's knees grow weak, "Hit me."

For a few moments Dean thinks he will hit him but he doesn't. "I'm not your father. I'm not going to hit you." he says it in Dean's face.

Dean shoves him again. "Bitch."

Castiel feels like he's about to punch the Seventeen year old right in his smug face and he wants to, instead his mouth crashes on Dean's- he tries to push Castiel off him, but again- he forgets how strong he really is. Castiel presses him against the front door, forcing his lips on him. It's a closed mouth kiss until Dean gasps for air and that's when his tongue dives in. It's a filthy rough kiss fueled by anger and frustration, there's nothing nice about it. 

Dean bites Castiel's bottom lip out of his own anger at the situation, Castiel doesn't even flinch, he moves to kiss at Dean's neck but the teen doesn't want to make out, he wants a fight. Castiel's hands are on Dean's waist, they move to unbutton his jeans- he tugs once like he's asking permission. Dean groans and he takes that as a green light- he pulls Dean by his shirt, guiding him to the kitchen and bends him over the kitchen table, he groans again when Castiel pushes his head down against the glass of the table.

"Cas-" Castiel yanks Dean's jeans down and that's when Dean starts to cry and he cries very loudly. Castiel blinks away the sweat from his brow. 

"Dean?" Castiel tries to turn him over but Dean stays bent over the table, "Talk to me."

Dean gets angry and stands up, pulling his jeans up- "Fuck you." he shoves his finger into Castiel's chest. "That's right, Fuck you. I'm a fucking monster because of what you and dad did to me."

Castiel's eyes begin to water, "You really feel that way?"

Dean doesn't really feel that way but he says "Yes." anyway. 

Castiel nods, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "I understand." he walks away from the teen but he's not done yet, he still wants to fight. Dean wan'ts to throw punches and he knows this because Dean's in the kitchen calling him names. Castiel is not going to play this game.

"Come back here!" Dean yells. 

Castiel covered his ears for the next hour as Dean cursed his name and kicked at things in his room. It eventually died down, he fell asleep for few hours before getting up and knowing what he had to do. In the morning he sits in the living room, waiting for Dean to wake up.

When Dean finally pads down the hall, he pauses and looks at Castiel on the couch. "S'early- why you up?" he freezes, suddenly alert. He notices that Castiel is fully dressed, with luggage. "Why do you have luggage, Cas?"

Castiel sits up, "Because I'm leaving." 

"No no no. You can't leave-" Dean gets on his knees in front of Castiel in an instant, "You can't leave-"

Castiel stands up and Dean is clinging to his leg like a toddler, "We're going to kill each other if I stay here." he picks up his suitcase, "Dean, let go."

"Cas, please." 

Castiel holds back his tears, he has to. "I'll be at a hotel, I left you some money on the table-" Dean follows his eyes to the coffee table and he ignores the envelope with the money in it. "The bills are paid for this month and always will be, I'll take care of you financially like I promised-" 

Dean gives up wiping his face, it's useless when there's multiple tears streaming down his cheeks. "Don't do this." he begs.

Castiel looks up as if that's going to keep the tears away. "I have to, you're getting out of control and I don't know what to do."

"Am I gonna see you again?" he looks up at him from where he is on the floor.

Castiel nods, he feels his own tears coming and he tries to rush this- he bends down to kiss the top of Dean's head. Dean closes his eyes for the kiss then looks up. "Go to school." is all Castiel says, before he closes the door behind him.

Dean gets up and follows him outside, Castiel is putting his suitcase in the backseat. "Dean-"

Dean kicks Castiel's car with his sock covered foot. "I wish you never came into my fucking life!" They both know he doesn't mean it but it still stings.

Castiel opens the car door, "Go to school, Dean." he repeats before getting in, Castiel speeds away and Dean almost runs after the car but he gives up before he tries. Castiel looks into the rear view mirror and sees the teen standing in the driveway - hugging himself and looking lost.

_I'm sorry, Dean._


	20. Misery

Dean's smoking a cigarette inside of his car that won't start, he made it to the corner gas station but that's as far as it went. He's scrolling through his phone and thinks about calling Castiel, then decides against it. It's only been three days and he already feels like he's been on his own for months. Time goes by so slowly when you're alone in a dark house. He's polished off the small amount of food that was left in the fridge when Castiel left. He's not broke by any means, the bills were paid and he has the envelope with a few hundred dollars. 

He knows Castiel won't be happy that he paid someone to buy him cigarettes. This older man who kinda gave him goosebumps- he's pretty sure the guys homeless and was happy to do the favor for an extra twenty dollars. At a time like this he wishes he knew how to hot wire a car but he doesn't and he's pretty sure he used the wrong type of gas for this car when he filled her up. He's feeling so dumb right now. It's getting dark and his stomachs making angry noises at him.

There's a knock on his window, "Need help?" a guy asks him, Dean rolls down his window.

"Yea. She won't start."

The guy laughs, "What's a young one like you doing in this old thing?"

Dean shrugs, "It was a birthday present."

"How bout you leave her here and come back to my place? We can have a few beers." 

Dean doesn't like the looks he's getting from the guy. He looks hungry and not for some food. "No thanks, I'm about to call my dad for help."

The guy shrugs, "Your loss."

Dean swallows, looking at Castiel's phone number on the screen again. _Just freaking call him..._ he tries turning the keys again, the engine stutters but she finally starts. There's some smoke escaping from under the hood. _Guess Cassie just overheated._

He does make it home safely and climbs out of the car but he doesn't go inside, he sits on the front porch steps and smokes another cigarette. Maybe Castiel should have gotten him a ride that actually could get him from point A to point B without breaking down or needing to cool off. The grocery store is about Fifteen minutes away and he knows Cassie won't make it that far in her condition. All Cassie is good for is being eye candy right now.

One of his neighbors walks by with her dog, she sees him smoking and he can see her shaking her head ever so slightly. _Fucking bitch_ he curses her under his breath. He stomps on the cigarette with his boot. He's hungry and hes fucking bored. There's no one for him to mess with anymore. He's tried calling Sam but he's too busy studying for his AP classes that Dean isn't in. He called Jo a million times to ask for forgiveness the night Ellen threw him out. She answered once, said she misses him but then Ellen took her phone away. He's resorted to calling her house phone at night and yeah she's threatened to get a restraining order on him so he had to stop- but that doesn't mean he doesn't sweet talk her during school hours.

She's a horny teenage girl after all so she gives in, allows him to get a few kisses in after school.

It's Friday now and Dean's sitting in the nurses office, clutching the edge of the bed. "Dean, can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." the nurse says, she looks worried. She places a hand on his shoulder and he flinches. "Did someone hurt you?"

He shakes his head, "No." his eyes are squeezes shut, he's getting the same feelings he had when he was at the hospital with Castiel. It was coming back. When he opens his eyes they dart around the room like they can't focus in on anything. "Wanna go home-" his eye's are tearing up, his hands fly up to cover his ears because the bell rang - there's too much noise as all the teens start flooding the hallways. 

The nurse closes the door to the office, "Is there someone I can call to come pick you up-"

"Cas-My stepdad. He's my emergency contact." The nurse nods and quickly finds his student file on the computer and dials the number. She talks to Castiel for a few minutes before hanging up. 

"He says he's at work but he will try to come as soon as he can." 

"Perfect." Dean says sarcastically in fear that the guy won't rush to get out of the hospital, he lays back in the little bed. It's smaller than his twin back at home. "Fuck." he sits up, it's worse laying down in that thing he feels like he could fall off. Falling a few feet off this thing would feel like falling off a building to him right now. It's almost an entire hour later that Castiel finally shows up, the call comes in and she tells Dean to go to the front office "Thanks." Dean hops off the bed unsteadily and he walks slowly to the front office.

His shoulders are hunched up and each step he's taking down the hall is calculated. Dean feels drunk, _it's just a panic attack_ he's telling himself. "Cas." Dean whines, Castiel rushes to his side and wraps an arm around his waist- helping him walk out of the school building to his car. "It's happening again." he finally says when Castiel is securing the seat belt for him. 

Castiel nods, "You're okay, Dean. I'm taking you home." Dean barely nods, he's gripping the door handle for dear life as Castiel drives him home. The man drives a mere 30 MPH but to Dean it feels like he's going more than 80. "Were here-" he looks over to the passenger side and sees Dean with his eyes squeezed shut. "It's okay-open your eyes."

Dean shakes his head. "I'm gonna fall-"

"You're home-you're not going to fall anywhere." he leans over, kissing Dean's forehead "Open." and Dean opens his eyes- "Good boy."

Dean instantly begins to blush, unbuckles his seat belt- by then Castiel is at his side helping him out of the car. "You shouldn't have to fucking take care of me like this-"

Castiel hooks his arm around the teens waist yet again and helps him walk slowly to the door, he lefts them both inside the house. "You're my entire world, Dean. Of course I'm going to take care of you."

Dean's face feels hot from those words "I am?"

Castiel nods, "Have you been starving yourself?" he suddenly says after noticing the teens lost some weight again. 

Dean breathes in, "I don't do that shit." he moves to take off his jacket almost forgetting about the scratches on his arms that have yet to fully heal. "You see me eat all the time-" he deflects, crossing his arms at his chest to hide the scars.

"Never a full meal."

"I'm just picky, Cas." 

Castiel checks the fridge and sees that it's looking pretty empty "I'll go get you some groceries, go relax."

Dean nods, "Hurry back." when Castiel leaves he's looking around the cabinets. Maybe he will get lucky and find something to calm his nerves, maybe some beer- anything will help. He goes to Castiel's room or what was his room- and he looks in the nightstand. He finds some pills- he contemplates taking one but decides against it. The bottle says John Winchester- but can't even pronounce the name of the medication, it's best he not try one. He finds himself back in the kitchen and looking inside the fridge, there's an almost empty bottle of Nyquil from the last time he had a cold. It makes him sleepy and he decides it's better to feel sleepy than feel like the world is going to crumble under his feet.

He chugs whats left of the bottle and winces, "Ugg-" he then goes to lay down on his bed. After Twenty minutes he's feeling calm and relaxed, "Finally.." he sighs, looking up at the ceiling. Waiting for Castiel. He doesn't realize how much time has passed until the front door slams and his body shoots up into a sitting position. Did he fall asleep?

Castiel peeks into his room, "I'm back."

Dean blinks up at him, "Kay."

"I'm going to put everything away then I'll leave-"

"Can you stay?" Dean mumbles, his hands are gripping the edge of his twin bed. "Don't wanna be alone."

Castiel rubs a hand over the dark stubble on his face, he hasn't shaved in days. "And what am I supposed to do here?"

Dean swallows, "We could fuck." he's mostly teasing but maybe he's trying to test the waters. See if fucking is still on the table after all this time.

Castiel rubs the back of his neck, his other hand is in his jeans pocket. "We've established that you don't want me fucking you anymore-" he sighs, "Guess we can watch a movie." he doesn't wait for a response from the teen, he goes to the living room to go through Netflix. See if there's anything new. 

Dean changed into a long sleeved shirt and some shorts to be comfortable before making his way to the living room. "Anything good?" he plops down heavily on the sofa. Castiel soon follows, he notices Castiel sat really close to him. Their thighs are almost touching. If he wasn't so drowsy it would've made him squirm.

"Misery?"

"Sure, Cas." What better way to spend an afternoon than to watch some psycho bitch holding a writer hostage in her home. Dean lets his head fall back, his arms wrapping around himself as the movie begins. Castiel is so into the movie he doesn't notice Dean watching him, he's gazing at his profile dreamily. 

It's not until he says something and he doesn't respond that Castiel looks his direction, "Dean?"

"Hmm-" he blinks, "Sorry, no I'm not hungry yet-" he focuses back on the movie. "Maybe later." Castiel turns to face the teen, putting one leg under his body as he gets comfortable- his big hand rubs the back of the his neck. "Cas, quit it." Dean flinches, it tickles but it's not unpleasant.

"What if I don't want to?" Castiel's voice is deep but relaxed. 

Dean gulps, he already feels his dick fattening up in his shorts. "Tryna watch the movie." his gaze is focused on the screen.

Castiel licks his lips before inching closer to Dean's neck, placing soft kisses on his creamy skin- he loves the sharp intake of breath Dean takes. "You smell good, Dean." the tip of his tongue dips a little into his ear, he retracts it quickly and nips at his ear lobe. Dean ignores him pretty well until he sucks a small love bite on his neck, near his shoulder. That's when Dean moans. 

"I said quit it-"he shrugs, trying to get the older man off him. "I wanna see the movie." Castiel ignores him, he moves to suck another little love bite behind Dean's ear, Dean moans again. "That hurts-"

"But you like it." he can tell, Dean's eyes are closed now and he's biting his lip. "Can I kiss you?" Castiel asks, Dean nods- tilting his face in his direction. He leans in and they tongue kiss- it's pretty innocent and only lasts a few seconds. "What's that taste?" he pulls away.

Dean shrugs like he doesn't know, "Huh?" Castiel doesn't care what it is anyway, he moves in to kiss him again. It's torture to not be able to fuck him anymore, but at least he's getting to kiss him again. Dean pulls away, panting. "Slow down-"

Castiel nods, "Sit on my lap-" he murmurs in the teens ear. Dean willingly climbs onto the mans lap- Castiel's erection instantly pokes at his hole. If they were naked it'd be easy to just fuck like this. They're both thinking it but they pretend they're not. Dean almost doesn't like the way he's looking at him, "You're so cute.." Castiel pulls him down, devouring his mouth for a few moments before he lifts and pulls Dean's shirt off. 

Dean feels too naked and he cuddles into the mans shoulder, hiding away his shame. "Cas." 

"I've already seen you naked before." he rubs his hand up and down the teens back, "You know you can trust me."

Dean shakes his head, "I Know." all he's thinking about are the scratches on his arms he doesn't want him to see. 

Castiel starts pressing kisses on his shoulder, his hands kneading away at Dean's plump ass. He's still got that bubble butt. Dean whimpers and begins to grind- pushing his ass against the cock that's trying to penetrate through the layers of clothes.

They both groan and moan, Dean whimpers and whines so much - Castiel loves it. Dean enjoys this position, he's hugging Castiel and his arms don't show. 

Dean starts to panic suddenly, he can tell this because he's pushing off and he's got that look of terror in his eyes. Castiel pulls him closer to his chest, "Baby, you're safe. I'm here."

Dean nods, letting himself be crushed against his chest. It feels like love. Dean whimpers, his orgasm is building - his fingers are gripping at the hair on the back of Castiel's head. When he comes he whimpers, "Ugh, daddy-" against his strong chest. That alone makes Castiel come in his jeans after the teen comes in his shorts. 

Castiel presses kisses at the top of Dean's head, his hair is all sweaty now. "Dean, look at me." he whispers roughly in his ear. 

Dean peeks up, he feels humiliated and hopes Castiel didn't notice what he said before coming in his shorts like a twelve year old. There's a heavy hand slipping behind the waistband of his shorts, a thick finger pressing against his hole. Dean whines, his forehead falling to rest on Castiel's shoulder. He's panting like he wants it.

"Anything you want to say?" Castiel's finger is wiggling it's way into Dean's hole. It's dry but it feels good anyway.

He hesitates but he's lost already, "Daddy-" he feels stupid saying the word because he's Seventeen but he doesn't care right now. "I want-" Dean swallows to keep from crying.

"What is it, Dean?" his tone is caring.

"I-I want to be little again." he says, before he starts crying. "I miss-I miss you."

Castiel closes his eyes to keep his own tears at bay, "I miss you too."

"Daddy-" Dean tries again, "Can I be little again? I don't wanna grow up."

Castiel removes his hand from where it was and rubs up and down his back instead, "Dean-"

"Don't make me grow up." Dean softly cries against his shoulder, "Daddy, please-"

Castiel is confused, "What are you saying?"

"Growing up is scary-" Dean's breath stutters, "-and it fucking hurts."

Castiel holds him tighter, "I'll do my best to make you happy, baby." 

It's a few days later, Castiel is in his hotel room and just getting into bed when his phone lights up. A message from Dean. He opens it, Dean sent him a video. What could it be?Castiel opens it, waits for it to load. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees the video start playing- it's Dean cumming all over his stomach. He can see Dean's cock twitching in his hand and the sounds he makes- God, how does he sound so filthy yet adorable at the same time. Castiel texts him in a hurry.

_**Cas:** Never send me things like that. _

_**Freckles:** Why?_

_**Cas:** Not safe. _

_**Freckles:** Wuss_

Castiel calls him, "I'm a wuss?" he husks into the phone as soon as Dean picks up. "I'd fuck you right now if you were here."

Dean smiles, "Oh yea?" 

Castiel lays back in the hotel bed, his palm rubbing over his thickening erection over his briefs. "I would and I have."

Dean bites his lip, he sighs. He's actually pretty horny- that video he took a while ago and just now had the courage to send it to the guy. His dick is hard too. 

"Dean?"

Dean clears his throat, "I'm here."

They're both silent for a while before Castiel speaks up, in the sweetest voice he can manage he says "Daddy loves you. Do you love daddy too?"

Dean whines, "Stop that."

Castiel laughs, "Relax, I'm teasing."

In reality he wants the guy to keep going, call him all kinds of sweet names and baby talk him. He's never had that even as a child. "Uhm, daddy?" Dean says after a few heartbeats. 

"Mhm?" 

"Talk dirty to me?" 

Castiel laughs once more, "Alright." he clears his throat once, "I wish I could fuck you and show you how strong I really am. I had to be so gentle before-"

Dean moans as he jerks himself in bed. "Daddy-I-I'm on your bed."

Castiel groans, "Do you think you could take all of me, Dean?"

Dean nods as if he could see him then remembers they're talking over the phone, "Yea, Daddy. Think I can now." 

Castiel groans again, "You want to be a good boy for me?"

"Fuck-" Dean whines in frustration, "Yea, wanna be good for you." After a while he asks, "Cas?"

"Hmm."

"Are you uh-into anything kinky?"

Castiel laughs again, "Of course."

"Really like what?" he sits up in bed, interested in hearing what he's got to say. "Spill."

"I'm into a little bondage." he says it like he's nervous to admit it, "And- I guess I get off on being dominant and rough. That's about it." He can hear the teenager gulp on the other end of the line, "Does that scare you?"

"Kinda, never done anything like that. Obviously.." 

"Are you interested in trying something?"

"Yeah. Could you-" Dean stops, not wanting to continue for fear Castiel will think he's disturbed.

"Dean, you can tell me."

"Could you-" he breathes in and out, "Break into the house and r-rape me?"

Castiel stops touching himself and is silent for a moment, "That's pretty dark for a role play-why would you even want that?"

"Never mind just forget it." Dean sounds hurt. "I gotta go get in the shower-"

"Dean, don't be upset." he stays on the line, "You really want me to pretend to break into the house and-rape you? Won't you be scared?" Castiel asks the question like he's considering. 

"Kinda but isn't that the point? The thrill." Dean sighs.

"I don't work this weekend." Castiel says in a cool tone, "I can do it then." 

"Make it real." Dean smiles, "You know..."

"I'll do my best, I've never done this before." Castiel sounds shy right now, "I'll come over Friday night, I won't tell you when just-don't get scared."

"Wear a mask." 

"Dean, stop. I'm going to freak you out." he can't tell if the teens just trying to push his buttons again to make him mad or if he's serious. "What kind of mask?" he says when there's no response.

"Michael Myers."

"Absolutely not!" Castiel loses his tempter and shouts into the phone.

"What about a ski mask?" Dean's laughing. "You might as well you're gonna break in and fuck me."

"I don't know what to say to you." 

"Goodnight, Cas. See you...you know." The teen yawns his good bye. "Gotta get in the shower before I fall asleep."

"Goodnight, Dean. Don't forget I'll be stopping by." He cannot believe he's going to do this. Dean hangs up and he's already wishing he hadn't agreed to this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you for the kudos and views guys :) i'm a pretty quiet writer but if you'd like to leave comments I'd appreciate it, I'd like to know if those of you who are reading are liking the story etc :)


	21. Break in

Dean's in the bathroom brushing his teeth when he hears something, he pauses for a moment - keeping his ear out for more noise. 

_Nothing_

He spits into the sink and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. A sound startles him, sounded like glass breaking. "Cas?" he calls out into the darkness of the house. He's suddenly extra aware that he's all by himself in the dark.

It's raining. _With_ thunder. _Fucking fantastic, what are the odds_

Dean's roaming his own home with uncertainty, he wants to think this might be Castiel actually following through with their plans to role play. He didn't actually believe he was going to pull through. Castiel's such a nerd.

_There's no way though...this is too good. Cas doesn't have it in him, and if he does- I don't fucking know him as well as I thought_

"Cas." he tries again and he checks all the rooms. The kitchen is empty, so is the living room. Castiel's room is empty too. The bathroom's gotta be empty, he was just in there.

 _My room..._

Dean opens the door, nothing out of the ordinary. Relief floods him, after checking the whole house- he didn't find any broken glass. 

_I really am losing my shit here_

He plops down on the broken chair in front of his little desk that he's had since forever. He's about to open a comic when his closet door creaks. Dean turns to find a man dressed in all black- indeed wearing a ski mask and gloves. He notices a knife when he looks down at the guys hand and almost doesn't believe it's Castiel, if it wasn't for those damn electric blue eyes he would have ran for it by now.

Instead, he pretends to be more scared than he is. They are role playing after all, his stupid idea. He's Seventeen, horny and extremely curious. Don't blame him. 

"W-what do you want?" He's turned on by the way the freaking guy looks in this get up- but he is a little scared. Who knows what Castiel might do to him.

The man steps closer, showing him the knife. It's a pretty cool knife, he'd ask to play with it in any other situation.

"Please. Don't hurt me." Dean slides off the chair onto his knees, His lips threaten to curl into a smile and the man won't have that, he walks behind him and pushes him down with his foot- holding him in place against the floor. Dean grunts. "The fuck-" It's really fucking creepy Castiel hasn't spoken a word. 

The man he believes is Castiel crouches in front of him, running the sharp knife along his cheek. This is a little darker than he asked of him, he was pretty sure he asked the guy to pretend he was a burglar and fuck him. Maybe play a little rough but not this weird shit.

"Cas." Dean whines, his hand reaches for his ankle but the man stands up- pacing around the room. He's going through his things. "The fuck are you doing-" the guy starts going through his drawers, stopping when he finds a pair of pink panties. "Yea, you liked those panties a lot-" the guy throws the pink fabric at him. The foot isn't holding him down anymore, so why is he still on the floor? He doesn't know. This is kinda hot, kinda creepy. Dean's kinda weird himself anyway. He finally gets back on his knees.

The guy kicks things around like he's bored, this is definitely Castiel - the dude's got a serious bulge at the front of his dark jeans. 

He stops to simply watch Dean. Dean tries not to laugh, "Kay, Cas. Do something already." Those fucking blue eyes keep watching him, Castiel sits on his twin bed. The sight is really sexy. A grown man sitting on his tiny bed. Dean groans, "Do something." Those blue eyes keep staring. Dean's feeling uncomfortable and has to look at his eyes to remind himself this is _him._

Finally he says "Take your shirt off." 

Dean blinks, it doesn't sound like Castiel at all- though he follows orders. He takes off his shirt and it's pretty dark so he doesn't bother to cover up his arms. The only source of light is the moonlight coming in from the window.

"Bottoms." he points his knife at his pajama pants. "Underwear too."

Dean gulps. His dick is soft. _Why doesn't this sound like you.._

He winks at the boy, letting him know it's okay and he's oddly comforted by it. Blue eyes orders him to come closer with his knife. Dean wishes he'd put that thing away or give it to him to play with- the thing looks bad ass. He's regretting labeling him the nerdy type. Dean crawls on all fours to the guy, who takes out his fat cock and presses it to his closed mouth. Dean whines.

Castiel pushes his dick against his lips, "Suck it, boy. Show me what that mouth can do then maybe I won't hurt you." Dean instantly opens up for him, letting it slide into his warm wet mouth. "Good, such a good boy." 

Dean loves the praise, he sucks the cock as if it were a popsicle.

"Doing so good-" he groans, he places the knife on the bed and fists both of his hands into the desperate teens hair- he fucks into his mouth gently for a few minutes. "That's enough. I don't want to come yet."

Dean lets go, his lips are swollen and dark pink- saliva and pre come dripping down his chin. Blue eyes wipes it away with his hand. "Daddy." Dean looks up at him, he's so pretty and innocent at times. "Ruin me, come on-"

Blue eyes blinks, "Quiet." Dean want's the whole _rape_ fantasy to go down, but _how?_ He's going to hurt him if he even tries it the way Dean wants. "Ever heard of doggy style?" the boy nods, "Good, get on the bed."

Dean quickly climbs up on the bed, getting on his hands and knees. He feels a big strong hand push down on his lower back, making his ass go up in the air. "Ugh-" big soft hands begin rubbing and squeezing his plump cheeks then comes a little smack on his ass. It's like a test. He does like it. There's another small smack on his reddening skin. Thoughts of John- his dad start swimming in his mind. He shakes his head roughly, he's desperate to stay in the moment. _"_ Please stop. You're hurting-" He pretends to struggle- Blue eyes holds him down roughly. "Ugh fuck-" Dean loves this. _Fuck you, Dad._

"No talking." 

When his dick finally gets hard a hand reaches between his legs from behind and starts jacking him off. "Awh fuck-"

"You sound like a bitch."

It's pretty freaking hot that he's finally hearing Castiel talk like this. He tries to keep it down but the guy is freaking milking him from behind, doggy style. There's a tongue lapping at his asshole now- he's going to come. "I-ugg-gonna come!" he moans like he really cant believe his orgasm hit this quick. 

Blue eyes lightly smacks his ass, "Messy boy, look what you did to your bed." Dean looks at the creamy mess under him and he just shrugs. He flips the teen over, "You like being dirty don't you." it's a statement not a question.

Dean nods, his lip caught between his teeth. His cock is still hard. Blue eyes lightly slaps his cock, he shrieks. "The fuck-" but he kinda liked it, though he pretends it hurts. "Please stop-" Another light slap on his dick. He giggles, "Cas-"

Blue eyes' shoulders move like he's laughing under the mask too, "Can I take this off?" he asks sounding like himself.

Dean shakes his head, "Kinda like crazy Cas."

Blue eyes continues in character- runs both of his hands up Dean's body until they land around his neck, he inhales sharply and whimpers like having hand around his neck is the sexiest thing ever. "I could do anything-" he squeezes the teens throat lightly, "and you'll never fight back will you?

Dean squirms, clearing his throat when he's let go. "Don't hurt me, please." he begs.

Blue eyes lifts his mask to expose his lips so he can kiss the boy, "I'd ruin your body if I thought you could take it." he smacks his inner thigh a little harder than he meant to. Dean starts panting, he does it again. "Little bitch-" he notices Dean's breaths are coming in too quick- "Hey, hey. You're okay." he pulls off his mask completely, Dean's gripping the blanket under him. His eyes tell the truth- he's freaking out. "Shh, shh. We're done, I'm sorry-I'm sorry, Dean."

"N-not your fault." he tries to breathe in deep but he feels like his lungs can't expand all the way. "Panic-" he tries to say, pointing at his chest. "Sorry-"

Castiel brings him to a sitting position "I got carried away-"

"Fucking shit happens out of nowhere." Dean replies, "Can't control-it's not you." he flings his arms around Castiel's neck in a tight hug. He feels like he'll float away or sink if he doesn't hold on. "Hold me-" the teen starts humping on Castiel's body like a dog. It's too much weight and his old twin bed breaks- they roll off the bed, Castiel hitting the floor with a loud thud. They both grunt in pain. 

Castiel rubs at his chest roughly, to bring him back from his panic attack "Hey-" when it doesn't work he ends up slapping Dean's face. 

Dean blinks, eyes unfocused. He's panting and the tears come down. 

"Dean." Castiel pulls him down and kisses his forehead, "Get dressed and we'll go to my hotel." Castiel gets up and hands Dean a plain black shirt and some black sweatpants. "I'll be in the car." he says, shoving some extra clothes into his old backpack for the weekend.

After a few moments Dean comes out of the house barefoot- his boots in hand, "Feel friggin naked." he says as he sits down in his car, Castiel looks down at his feet, for a boy he's got some cute toes- he smiles at the view and starts the car. 

It's three in the morning, they're making their way to Castiel's hotel. "Hey, turn here." Dean says, gesturing towards the wal-mart to his right. "I need something." Castiel pulls into a parking space and cuts the engine.

"What do you need at this hour?" 

Dean pulls on his boots and ties them "Snacks." They get off the car and they're walking. Suddenly Dean grabs onto his hand, pulling him along. Castiel looks around and sees no one, obviously- so he skips behind the teenager. They've never held hands before, he likes it. Even inside, they continue holding hands as they stroll through the aisles. They're looking at the chips, of course that seems to be the only thing the kid eats. Dean grabs two bags, "Got it, but let's look around."

Castiel shakes his head, "I need to get you out of the house more." though he doesn't mind holding hands. They're in the hygiene section of the store, where the body washes are and shampoos. "You can take one if you want." he gestures to the bottles.

Dean grabs a women's body wash, "It smells pretty." He wants to go look at lube but he's nervous so he stays smelling women's body washes. Castiel stares at him. "What? I don't wanna smell like Black Ice or some shit."

An employee sees them and asks, "You two need anything?"

They both startle, but smile. "We're good." Dean says. When they guy leaves Dean starts making his way to where the lube and condoms are, he picks up a bottle and reads the label.

Castiel bites his lip, the back of his neck feels hot all of a sudden "You really want me to fuck you, Dean?" his hand is on the teens shoulder. 

Dean licks his lips, "Yea, lets go."

After Castiel paid for everything, they walk back to the car holding hands. It makes him sad how they might not ever be able to hold hands in public, or during day light hours. It's become pretty known by now that Castiel is Dean's step dad. Everyone at his school knows, other parents, teachers. _It's hopeless..._

They make it to the hotel safely, walking passed the girl at the front desk freaked Dean out- She wouldn't stop staring at them. "Whose he?" she asks, it's been a few short weeks and they haven't spoken aside from _hello or good morning_ banter. 

Castiel hesitates, "My son." It's not like she would know if he was or not. He had to say it was his son otherwise it'd be suspicious- walking into a hotel with a minor at four in the morning. 

"He's so...white." 

_Bitch..._ they both think it.

He looks at Dean with his almost blonde hair and freckles everywhere- looking nothing like him. "His mom was very... white."

The girl perks up, "Are you a single father?" 

Dean huffs, "This desperate bi-" under his breath. She heard him- he knows she did because her face falls and she goes back to looking through her magazine.

Once inside the room he looks around, "You're too good for motels?"

"It's near work." Castiel defends, "Are you feeling better?" they both haven't forgotten about the lube they picked up on the way there. 

"Yea." he sits on the bed, kicks off his boots and peels his shirt off. "M'tired-"

Castiel does the same and sits in the bed next to him "Did you eat today?"

Dean shakes his head, "I'll eat when I wake up, kay?" they both know it's probably a lie. When this issue was at it's worst, he was fifteen and he'd starve himself- his record was eleven days.

Castiel knows better than to fuss about this too much, "I worry about you, Dean." they both slide under the covers. "I worry a lot."

Dean smiles and Castiel recognizes that smile- he's about to push his buttons. "So, Cas. Be honest, have you fucked anyone?" 

_Guess not. Too bad...he kinda felt like being messed with._

"I haven't had sex since our last time." Castiel says uncomfortably. "You've been with Jo-"

"Don't bring her up." Dean lays on his back now.

"Are you in love with her?" Castiel wishes he didn't sound jealous.

Dean shrugs, he doesn't even know. His whole idea on the subject is warped, he's got like three girlfriends including Jo. Castiel doesn't know about it and doesn't think he should know. Why bother, they don't see each other out of school and they do nothing more than kiss. It's not like he asked them to be his girlfriends, they just took the title and he didn't say no.

"I hope she's not preg-"

"I barely even fucked her and I didn't even come."

Castiel nods, he's relieved but he's still wearily expecting another call from Jo's mother. "You didn't like it?"

Dean turns to face him, "You wanna hear about how I fucked her little peach huh?" 

"Goodnight, Dean." Castiel rolls over on his side, he really can't handle when Dean gets like this. He's got his father's drunk mouth while being completely sober. 

"She has a pretty pussy." Dean starts, "Took forever to get it in-but it felt awesome." 

He hates that Dean sounds so smug and proud about it. "Go to sleep."

"I only stopped cause she started bleeding." Dean actually laughs, "Poor thing, she thought it was her period. I bet Ellen's never gave her the talk. I popped her cherry just like-" 

Castiel looks over his shoulder, "Stop while you can, this is exactly why I left." he used the stern 'adult' voice that Dean's never liked. 

"I'll shut up now."

"Good, go to sleep."

A few moments later, he's telling Dean to be quiet again after he starts humming one of his dad's old songs.


	22. Fallen boy

Their weekend together was spent in bed- not having sex. Dean had been aloof the whole weekend and didn't want to engage in any activities. Sexual or otherwise. Castiel ordered room service but Dean didn't eat at all except for those damn _chips_ he loves so much. 

_Why don't you eat something else?_ Castiel asked to which he replied- _It's all I can fucking eat leave me alone._

He didn't push the food issue further. However he did ask him how school had been going- he hasn't been called in for anything other than his panic attack. 

When Castiel dropped Dean off at the house, his heart broke. He has been wanting to come back but he didn't know how. Does he just go in? he has a key but it just doesn't feel like home lately. All he and Dean do is argue and with the way that kid is, he'll start throwing punches. His reputation of being the school bully has gone around the town a few times- Dean Winchester charms the girls and fights the boys.

If he he gets into one more fight at school, he's out. Hell, he probably want's to get kicked out- Dean's never liked school aside from seeing his best friend Sam and he hasn't come around lately according to what he's been saying. Sam finally has a little girlfriend of his own. _Jessica._

Dean spends all his time alone but so does he. They really only had each other. It's been just them for _years_ now.

It's a good thing it's his day off when the call from Dean's school comes through, he's expecting Dean to have gotten into a fight or maybe another panic attack. Turns out he hasn't gone to school in three days. As far as the school knows he's the step father and they're living together-they both intend to keep up appearances. The last thing Dean needs is to spend the rest of Seventeen in foster care, what would be the point?

On his way to the house to check on Dean's well-being he stops by the grocery store to pick up some supplies and food for him. It has been a while since the last time he dropped off the essentials- he's come to know that Dean uses up a lot of toiler paper and paper towels for some reason. Tissues too. On a side note, It's remarkable how many bags of chips he can eat in a week. _It is all he seems to eat._

"Dean!" Castiel calls out to him as he stumbles through the door with grocery bags in hand, he sets them on the table and a sleepy looking teen pops into the kitchen where he's now unloading everything.

It took him several minutes but he finally shuffles into the kitchen barefoot, "The fuck are you doing here-" Dean's blinking the sleepiness away from his eyes and scratching his stomach - he always does that when he's hungry. 

"I came to check on you, Dean." He really doesn't want to ask why he hasn't been in school the past few days. He's happy John isn't around, If he was he'd probably rip him a new one. The poor kid is probably so used to getting beaten up by now.

"I'm alive, Cas." Dean wraps his sleeved arms around himself. "Bring me anything good?" he looks at the empty grocery bags on the kitchen table.

"Do you have a cold?" Castiel shows him the half empty bottle of Nyquil he pulled out from the fridge while putting away the groceries- It's his second bottle in two weeks.

"My throat hurts." he lies- he's been using it to help himself stay calm and drowsy because It's the only thing keeping him steady on planet earth. 

"I don't believe you. You were asleep when I got here-you can barely open your eyes." Castiel looks at him, the bottle in his hands. It's late in the afternoon and Dean's known for waking up early every day because he can't keep still enough to sleep in late. _Even on weekends he's up when the sun's up._

Castiel opens the bottle of medicine to pour in the sink - he wasn't born yesterday. It's over the counter but that doesn't make it safe to abuse. "NO!" he screams,"I need that!" Dean charges at Castiel, trying to take the bottle but the contents have already fully spilled into the sink. He watches the dark liquid go down the drain. 

"It's this now, then later you'll start something worse to feel better-"

"The fuck did you do that for!" Dean shoves Castiel against the edge of the sink, "You don't even live here anymore!"

Castiel knows it's coming but he hopes he's wrong. _It comes._ A hard punch to his nose. Castiel winces in pain and covers his face with both hands-he says nothing and does nothing to retaliate. Dean stands there with his chest heaving up and down in anger, "You're not my fucking dad so stop trying to be." he spits on the floor next to the hunched over man before he goes to his room.

His chest heaves in anger too but If he had opened his mouth he might have said something he'll regret or do something he won't be able to undo. Something no amount of money or apologies will fix, not even time apart. In Dean's case an ass whooping or a beat down won't help because he might even like it. Dean loves to fight- no doubt about that. If he retaliated- the one punch would have turned into a full blown war and there would be blood and broken bones because he doesn't know when to stop.

It's been a few days with no communication between the two and Dean only returns to school for the sake of not raising any suspicion, he really doesn't want a social worker to come sniffing around the situation. It comes as a bit of a surprise, totally out of character for him when he opens his hotel room door early in the evening to see Dean standing there looking adorable but obviously drunk. He's not in the mood to deal with him like this - especially now with a mysterious respiratory illness going around work that has all hospital staff anxious.

"Dean, why are you here?" his eyes analyze the drunk boy, "How did you get here?"

"Uber." Dean stumbles and falls to his knees, he looks up and starts pawing at Castiels belt. "Let me suck your dick-s-so you won't be mad anymore-"

"Stop it." Castiel grabs the teen and hauls him back on his feet-he ends up tossing him weightlessly on the bed. "I'm still angry, Dean. The way you've been- I've had enough!" Castiel is furious as he stands above Dean- who by the way looks terrified. 

Dean swallows, he's got cotton mouth and he feels like he's about to have one of his episodes but he pushes that back. _For now._ He's pretty sure Castiel won't take care of him in this state and it'd be selfish to think he would after what he's done.

"I didn't mean to-it's just-" he stops talking when he sees his words won't make a difference. "Sorry."

Castiel sighs, sitting next to Dean on the bed and It surprises him when Dean sits up and kisses the corner of his mouth, as if testing the waters- to see if he was allowed to kiss him in this moment. When Castiel doesn't stop him- Dean pushes him back onto the bed and straddles him, kissing the man with teenage need.

"Dean-" 

"Shut up, Cas-" the teen grinds down against Castiel's crotch but his movements are messy and uncoordinated. He's nervous- Castiel picks up on his nerves, rolling them over so Dean's on his back. Castiel is grinding into him now. "Ugh-" Dean moans, "Yea, this is better-"

"I know what I'm doing." When Castiel is sure Dean is about to come in his pants, he pulls down his jeans to his ankles,"Not yet. You'll come when I say." Dean whines agressively, he turns him over onto his stomach so that his exposed ass is in the air. He slaps his ass hard. Dean grunts in protest, "You know you deserved that." the tipsy boy nods his head wearily. 

_Another slap.._ _And another_ _.. A few more_

"Please." Dean begs,"Stop hitting me-stop-" 

_One last slap_

"You should have never come here, Dean. I'm so angry with you." Castiel's calm and collection voice scares him just a little. "You could have broken my nose. I didn't go to work for two days because of the bruise you left. People kept asking me questions-what happened to me-"

"I'm sorry!" Dean yelps, "I'll do anything you want!"

Castiel crawls over him, hovering over his back. He grips the teens short hair roughly between his fingers- yanking his head back to speak in his ear "Are you sure about that? The things I like to do-well, they can get pretty dark." 

Dean shuts his eyes, the tugging burn on his scalp is too much, "I'll do anything." he grits out, "You can do anything to me."

Castiel lets go and gently rubs the tender scalp with his thick fingers, Dean moans at the soothing gesture. "Do you remember when you asked me what kind of kinky things I like?" Dean nods, "Can you be submissive for me, Dean?" Castiel is still rubbing and combing his fingers through the boys tender scalp.

If it didn't feel good he wouldn't be moaning. Dean nods, "Sure, I'll be submissive or whatever." 

Castiel yanks his head back again by his hair, a choking sound escapes Dean's throat. "I'll ask one more time, can you be submissive for me?"

"Yes, sir?" he swallows, "Yes, master?"

Castiel presses his nose into the boys now sweaty hair and inhales his teenage boy scent. "Sir will do, for now." 

"I understand, sir. I'll be submissive." Dean is fucking scared right now. He's trembling- yet his dick is harder than it's ever been since he hit puberty. His almost six-inch dick is pressed against the mattress but he doesn't dare hump the bed. 

Castiel gets off the boy and stands above him, "You're so pretty, Dean. Your pretty lips alone drive me crazy-" he unbuttons the casual shirt hes wearing, letting it fall off his shoulders. His eyes travel down the teens body, "I could bury my cock deep in that juicy ass of yours for hours." he strips out of his pants, "Take off your shirt. Pants too." 

Dean pulls off his shirt and kicks off his jeans free from his ankles, "Done, sir." hes scared and horny at the same time.

Castiel stands before the teen completely nude and hard, his cock looking like it had grown since the last time he's seen it. _It has been a while._

"Do you ever play with your ass, Dean?" Dean trembles, shaking his head. "Use your words."

"No, sir. I've never played with my ass." his voice sounds so small and young in this moment as if a child-like innocence has reclaimed his teenage soul. 

Castiel rolls Dean over on his stomach yet again, "Do you remember when I devoured this bubble butt, hmm?" he gives one plump cheek a squeeze "Do you?"

Dean whimpers shyly. "Not really, sir."

Castiel rubs at the meaty flesh, "Don't worry, I'll remind you." without warning he starts lapping and nipping gently at his hole just like he had done a few years back. After a few moments he pauses, "Remember now?"

Dean sounds broken, his shy moans echo in the room- he can't speak. His sole focus is on breathing while the man behind him unravels him. 

"I thought you were over me, hmm? Weren't you into girls now?" he says between wet kisses, "I would think that Dean Winchester is too tough to have his ass licked by another man-"

Dean moans in anger despite his pleasure, his hands are in fists as he grips the pillow. He's pissed off by Castiel's words but even more angry that he wants to fucking come from a tongue in his ass. Suddenly the urge to come is gone when something heavy slaps against his hole- Castiel's cock.

"You're a big boy, aren't you?" 

Dean really fucking hates the way he's talking to him, like he's five or something- if this wasn't so hot he would punch his lights out. "Yes, sir. I'm a big boy."

"Even big boys need a little help isn't that right?" Dean looks over his shoulder to see him pouring a little bit of lube over his spread open cheeks- and he's relieved. He knew Castiel couldn't be that angry to forget the lube. "What do we say?"

"Thank you, sir. Thank you." 

"Do your shave back here, Dean?" Castiel asks, smug smile on his face.

He hesitates for a couple seconds, "I don't, sir." They both know that's a lie but it doesn't matter.

"I miss this little baby hole so much-" the head of Castiel's cock presses against the hole, easing it's way in- "Did you miss my cock baby, hmm?" once the head pops in, the rest just follows and slides in fully until he's balls deep in the teenagers ass.

After a few deep slow strokes - Dean is a crying and moaning mess under him. Castiel needs to see his face so he flips him over on his back before he slides right back in, earning another crying moan. "You love getting your ass fucked don't you?" Dean's eye's are fixed on his, his mouth is a filthy shade of wet pink. Castiel kisses those lips- the nastiest kiss he's ever given anyone. It's all tongue, spit and teeth.

Dean accepts all he's given, from the cock in his ass to the tongue in his mouth. He's flushed all over- they both are. Both of their bodies molding together in a sweaty mess on the bed.

"Do you love me?" Castiel asks him possessively as he fucks the teen relentlessly and rough like he wants it to hurt, but it feels fucking good on both ends. 

Dean's reply of " _Yes,_ Daddy..." only urges Castiel to fuck him even harder. The sound of skin slapping on skin envelopes the space around them completely. He fucks him until Dean comes with no warning, spilling all over his stomach. He's almost too proud that he made the boy come without having to jerk him off, he continues pounding his ass until his shy moans become high pitched squeals. 

"You sound like a girl-" Castiel huffs, he's already spilled deep inside of Dean's hole a while ago but keeps plowing into him for some extra fun. 

Dean wraps his sweaty arms around his neck, "I'm your girl, daddy." with that, Castiel weakly comes again. After a few moments, he pulls out-all of his come slowly starts spilling out. "Ugh-"

Castiel is almost dizzy from the exertion, he wipes his sweaty hands on the sheets and stands up to go to the bathroom. When he comes back he has a warm wet towel to clean up with. Dean is blushing beyond belief, he's turned pink all over from the fucking and he's humiliated that he loves getting fucked in the ass by his freaking step dad. The worst part is, he enjoyed being submissive. He didn't have to think about anything. _Just being._

Once Castiel is done cleaning them both up he runs his fingers through the back of the boys hair again. "Who am I?" he tugs.

Dean's head melts back into the strong grip, "My daddy." 


	23. Daddy, Please

When Dean awakens the next morning in Castiel's hotel bed he feels... something _wet_ and _warm_ underneath him, he pushes the older mans body off of himself so can stand up. He realizes it's all the _come_ oozing out of his ass- "Ugh, gross-" he walks like a duck all the way the bathroom. Castiel soon awakens when he hears the shower in the bathroom- while Dean's showering he moves around the hotel room changing the sheets and cleaning up. It's not until almost an hour later he realizes the shower is still running.

He knocks on the bathroom door,"Yea." Dean replies.

"Are you okay?" he opens the door a crack. 

The water shuts off and he steps out, "M'fine-" he mumbles softly while wrapping a towel around his waist. "I'm gonna go-" before he can make it across the room he moans weakly, "Fucking hate this shit-" the hotel floor becomes mush and he can't walk straight, Castiel's at his side in no time helping him to the bed. The sheets were now changed. Dean moans again in humiliation as he remembers last nights events-memories of being Castiel's bitch flood him."Remind me again how the fuck these are panic attacks?" 

Castiel shrugs stupidly, "Meg said-"

Dean mocks, "Meg said-" and makes the ugliest face he's ever made. "What the fuck man, you're supposed to be a doctor and don't know shit-"

"I'm not-"

"That's right, you just put people to sleep before surgery-"

"That's enough, Dean." Castiel hands him his clothes, "I have to go to work today but you're coming with me to get blood work done so we can see what's going on." Dean weakly pulls on his gross jeans and shirt without bothering to ask for help. He knows he offended the old man. 

At the hospital Dean is quickly put into a room, he's alone for what seems like a long time before Castiel reappears into the room with supplies. "You're gonna take my blood?"

Castiel smiles, prepping Dean's arm - "I don't just put people to sleep, Dean." he inserts the needle into his arm gracefully, it doesn't even hurt by the look on Dean's face. "I was a nurse first." he winks at him when he looks up from what hes doing, switching tubes as the blood fills each one. "All done."

Dean has a boner instantly, unaware his blood has already been drawn. "You were a nurse?" he repeats. "That's kinda hot- wait, so if you were a nurse why don't you know what's wrong with me?"

"Dean, Meg is a current nurse. If she said you were experiencing panic attacks, I took her word for it. She's a good nurse. But now that I think about it, even if you are experiencing panic- you had issues with food-"

Dean tries to stand, he doesn't like this conversation- he never does. Castiel's strong hand pushes him back down to sit. 

"Listen to me. There's a few vitamin deficiencies that can cause dizziness." Castiel has moved on to write something down on the tubes before handing them to a nurse, "We'll find out soon." Castiel stands up, shoving his hands in his scrub pockets. 

Dean looks at him like he wants to suck his dick right there, he rolls his eyes before exiting the room again- leaving him alone. But not too long, he wouldn't put it pass him to jack off right then and there. After another long while, maybe an hour Castiel comes back to the room to find it empty. He walks down the hallway with a clipboard in hand and stops dead in his tracks when he hears the familiar laugh of Dean Winchester. 

Castiel finds him at the nurses station, with a fellow nurse. A _young_ male nurse and he's instantly jealous. "Chuck, I see you've met Dean." Dean turns to look at him, grinning. All he needs is Dean to develop some kind of puppy love thing for this guy. Chuck is 23 and looks even younger than that. Castiel clears his throat, ignoring how Dean is sitting on the edge of the table next to the nurse. "I need to talk to you about your results." he says once again regaining his professionalism. "You mind?" he stares at Chuck. 

The nurse nods and walks away to go check on a patient. 

Dean laughs, "You hate him or something?" 

"Or something." Castiel walks to the same room, Dean follows behind. Once they're seated, Meg joins them in the room. "Meg and I believe you are experiencing some anxiety but they should be mild symptoms, your dizzy spells are what concern me." Dean looks at both of them, in their scrubs- under the fluorescent lights. It happens again, he swallows loudly like he forgot how to breathe and his eyes go wide, he grips the bed again. His shoulders hunch up like it's going to protect him. 

Castiel and Meg look at each other before standing up to help him, "Stand for me, Dean." Dean stands, and he feels a little more stable. "Can you hear me?" Dean nods. "As I was saying, you are experiencing anxiety but like I thought- you do have a severe Vitamin D deficiency, mild anemia and you are lacking B12." he gives the clipboard to Meg, "Are you with me?" Dean nods again but no he is not fucking with him. 

Meg speaks up, "Dean, you are suffering from anxiety at least but these deficiencies and anemia are making you feel worse. Castiel and I want to start you on some prescription vitamins, high dose stuff. We also want you to see someone about your anxiety."

Dean looks at Castiel, "Is that true? You want me to go to-"

Castiel chimes in, "Some counseling will do you good, Dean. There's been a lot that's happened in your life, your childhood-"

"Okay." Dean agrees, Meg and Castiel look at each other. They expected more of a fight. "I have a lot to talk about, you're right." he stares daggers at Castiel, like he's been betrayed. 

Meg sighs in relief, "Great! I can set you up with an amazing counselor. Someone nice for you to talk to." Dean smiles at her before she leaves the room to go set up that appointment for him.

"You're mad at me." Castiel says.

"Of course I am. You know the crap I've been through and you want me to pour my fucking heart out to some therapist? What's talking about how my dad-how he-hows that gonna help me!" he stands up and is about to kick something before he realizes he's still in the hospital. 

"Calm down, the nurses won't hesitate to sedate you-"

Dean's eyes bug out of his skull for a second in anger, "You'd let them do that to me? how fucking dare you!" he charges at Castiel and he's ready to punch him yet again but he gets out of the way as soon as Meg and Chuck barge into the room at the first sign of yelling. Chuck pushes Dean back onto the bed, while Meg shoves a needle into his arm as fast as she can.

"Sorry, Dean." Dean sees her face become blurry, she does look sorry. He doesn't pass out or fall asleep, he just notices that all the fight has left his body. He's not angry anymore, he's nothing right now. Now that's he's calmed down both nurses exit the room, leaving him alone with Castiel again.

"You see what happens-" Castiel is angry but only because he cares, "You can't behave that way. Especially in a hospital, you become a threat and a danger to everyone around you."

Dean laughs bitterly, weakly. "Wasn't gonna do nothin-" Castiel shakes his head before exiting the room. He'll be back in a few hours once his shift is over, Dean will be asleep by then. He's decided that it's time to move back home. _With Dean._

When Dean wakes up a few hours later he isn't at home, he's in a different hospital room- He looks down and realizes he's in a hospital gown and nothing else with an IV drip in his arm. He's about to panic but Castiel walks in still in his scrubs. "I got you admitted, Dean."

Dean sits up, "I can see that. Why?" he looks extremely drowsy, if he wasn't medicated he would've been angry right now. "Wanna go home-"

"You're staying the night-" Castiel sits on the edge of the hospital, taking his hand. "But I'll be here with you." Dean nods, "Your blood results worry me, if you don't take vitamins soon and start eating more than you have then your hospital stay will become a longer one." Dean nods again and he lays back. Castiel can see that he's starting to become more alert.

"Do you think-" he pauses, "-think you can, you know-" he closes his eyes and his hands pull up the hospital gown to reveal his soft cock. 

Castiel's face goes red instantly and he scratches the back of his neck nervously, "The door doesn't lock, a nurse is bound to come by." 

"Better get to it then." Dean lifts the gown all the way up to expose his chest so he can rub at his pink nipples. "Go on, bitch." The older man swallows, taking one last look at the closed door before he takes the teens soft cock in his mouth- it hardens in his mouth rather quickly and he can taste pre-come. Dean sighs, "I like that-mmfuck." his legs fall open and that leaves room for Castiel to bury his face between those thick soft thighs he's always had. "Mmmmfuu-" 

When he feels a thick finger pressing against his asshole, Dean shoots down Castiel's throat. "Fuck-" Dean whimpers, biting his lip. 

Castiel begins pressing quick and chaste kisses up the teens thin freckled body, "You need to do what I say, I'm the adult-" he pauses to lick Dean's nipple- causing him to arch up into it. "I don't want you stuck in the hospital getting treatment for your, _issues_ -you know I can't live without you that long." he continues kissing up his neck until he finds his worried red lips. "I need you with me." 

Dean's eyes grow red with the threat of tears to fall, "I get it. I didn't realize I was unhealthy." 

In the silence of the hospital room they both hear the click of the door. Castiel springs up on his feet but whoever had walked in was already gone. "Damn it, Dean." he looks from the door to the startled teen, "I told you." Dean pushes his gown down to his knees but it didn't matter now, whoever saw them- saw them. Castiel leaves the room without saying a word in search of the person who walked in on them.

He quickly goes to the nurses station, no one is there but _her._ "Meg." Castiel rushes to her, "Did anyone go into Dean's room just now?" It takes a few moments but when she looks up, her eyes are filled with tears. _She's the one who saw..._ "Meg, I can explain." she stands and he holds up his hands in self defense. "It's not what it looks-" He's lucky that it's after midnight and there's no one around at the moment.

"How could you? Cas-" she steps closer, tears spilling down her face "Dean trusted you and you take advantage of him?" 

As she gets closer to him, Castiel backs away from her slowly- "Please. Don't tell anyone." his own eyes filling up with tears that don't fall. "I love him, Meg. It's not what it looks like-" 

"Shut up!" she screams, covering her face. "How long! How long has this been going on!" 

Castiel winces at her screams, they sound like they're coming from a horror movie. _He is in a horror movie. He's having a nightmare. This can't be happening._ "He was thirteen when it started." he whispers in shame, looking down at his feet.

"Thirteen!" she screams and lunges forward to slap him- Castiel looks at her in shock. "He was just a little boy...no wonder he's having such terrible anxiety." her voice becomes a whisper but she's still angry. "I want you to leave. Your shift is over, you need to go or I'm calling security."

"You can't do that to me!" Castiel shouts.

"If you don't go, I'm going to tell on you." She hugs herself as if she had just been assaulted, "You're a monster, Castiel. We were friends..." she shakes her head in disbelief. 

Castiel says nothing because there's nothing to say, she's doing him a big favor by keeping quiet about this. _For tonight anyway._ "I'm sorry-" he starts backing away from her to leave.

"I'll watch over Dean. Don't come back." 

"When he's discharged, he's coming home with me." he says bluntly. 

"We'll see about that." she bites back. With that, she returns to her seat in front of the computer and Castiel leaves.

When Castiel doesn't return he gets worried, he'd call him but he doesn't know where his things are. Instead of panicking he accepts that maybe Castiel wasn't allowed to stay the night and would be back the next day when he came in for work. Dean sleeps until Seven in the morning, that's when Meg comes into his room with his breakfast. "Rise and shine, sweetheart." she says, placing the breakfast tray on the table next to his bed. "Today you're having eggs, toast and some fruit. How's that sound?"

Dean sits up sleepily, "Sounds fine-" he grabs the plastic fork and starts picking at the bland food. "Where's Cas?" he looks up at her, not eating yet. 

She ignores the question, "Come on, eat up. If you eat everything I'll bring you something fun for lunch." 

Dean hates how she sounds so peppy and happy, it's a hospital, who can be so cheery. He smiles awkwardly, "Sure." it's times like these he hates being too young to check himself out if he wanted to. _He already misses Castiel._ "Think you could sneak me some chips in here?" he asks once hes done with his breakfast. "A soda too." he winks at her before she leaves the room, once she's gone he rolls his eyes in annoyance. He slowly gets up to look around the room, pulling open drawers to snoop around. He opens a little closet door and finds a clear plastic bag with the clothes he came in with and yes- his phone.

He quickly pulls out the phone- no missed calls from Castiel or text messages. _The fuck._ He calls him, no answer. He tries again with no answer. Dean has no choice but to wait it out until Castiel comes in for work. A few hours of boring TV later, Meg comes in with his lunch. He rolls his eyes again. "What's for lunch?" he says, playing along. He feels so trapped here.

"A burger, and I didn't forget your chips."

He smiles at the off brand boring chips she brought him and the diet coke. "Thanks." she suddenly sits down on the edge of the bed, "Yea?" he looks at her, he's beyond annoyed. "Why are you staring? I'm not that cute."

She smiles, "You are." 

He blinks at her, his face going red. Meg is pretty but he's got Castiel. "Well, stop it. It's weird."

"Sorry." she laughs, "Are you okay? Every time I see you, you seem to be experiencing a panic attack." When he glares at her she apologizes. "No offence, I'm just worried."

Dean polishes off his burger faster than he meant to, he really just wants her to go. "M'fine-" he says with his mouth full. "When does Cas come in?"

"I'm not sure." she lies, "But my shift is over after lunch."

"Have you known him a long time?" Dean asks as he opens his chips. He really is trying to eat normally again so he can get healthy and not come back here for a longer stay. Meg is nice but he doesn't want to see her all the time. 

"We met in nursing school, but that wasn't his goal-" she smiles, almost forgetting about his betrayal for a second. "He loves being an Anesthesiologist."

"He probably likes seeing naked people passed out." Dean jokes as he now finished his chips as well. "Why are you here? I mean- don't you gotta be checking on people?"

"My patients are well taken care of honey." she stands up and starts cleaning up the mess he made, "I better go though. I'll check on you tomorrow."

"Wait-" he calls out after her, "And Cas?"

"I haven't heard from him. Bye Dean." she closes the door.

Dean's eyes begin to water as anxiety and fear begin to take over, he's beginning to feel like he's never going to see Castiel again- like maybe he left him here forever. A different nurse, Chuck- comes in to check on him next. The guy checks his IV drip, takes his vitals and gives him a few pills to take. "What are these for?" Dean asks, holding the chalky pills in his hand.

"Vitamins." is all Chuck says as he injects something into his IV line. Dean sputters when he tries to swallow them, he spits them back onto his hand. "Sorry, the pills are kinda large but you need a high dosage-"

"I can't swallow these, man." 

Chuck smiles, "I'll be right back, I'll crush them into some yogurt." Dean moans, he just wants Castiel to come see him. Nurse Chuck comes back with his yogurt- it tastes weird but he eats it all. Dean spends a few hours watching TV and another few hours asleep. 

Chuck comes in with his dinner around Six in the evening, "Hey, got a sandwich for you-" he sets the tray on the bedside table, "-and some fries." 

Dean smiles and means it because he likes Chuck more than Meg. At least Chuck doesn't ask personal questions. "Love me some fries." Dean mumbles, shoveling fry after fry into his mouth. "Hey, you know Cas right?"

Chuck smiles, "Yea, he's here actually." Dean swallows and he feels like his heart is sinking. "He got here like-Two hours ago. Is he your-"

"Step dad." Dean clarifies.

"That's awesome. I haven't been working here that long so I don't know him that well-" Chuck laughs, "I don't think he likes me since I started dating Meg. Castiel says she should be dating a doctor, not a fellow nurse." Dean listens to him speak while he's eating. "I thought he was dating her when I first started but she told me he was gay."

Dean coughs, "Cas used to date my dad-" he stops when he hears how weird that sounds. 

"They broke up?"

He likes talking to chuck so he answers, "My dad left-so he- uh, he's been taking care of me." 

Chuck nods, "Gotcha. Well, Dean. I like hanging out with you but I have another patient to see right now. I'll tell Castiel to come by."

Dean waits and waits, when Castiel doesn't show up he gets up and brings the whole IV drip with him as he walks down the hall to the nurses station in his hospital gown. 

Castiel is there sitting down at the nurses station talking to a female doctor. He instantly feels like a five year old who really misses his daddy after a sleepover, "Cas." he squeaks. Both the doctor and Castiel turn around to look at him.

Castiel stands up, "Dean, you're on bed rest. You need to go back to your room." When he starts crying-the doctor witnessing all of this says nothing but the look on her face is one of surprise. "I'll take you back." he hooks an arm under Dean's and helps him walk back to his room slowly.

Once back in Dean's hospital room, Castiel looks upset. "What's wrong?" Dean wipes his face, he knows he's being a girl but he can't help it. He's scared and being locked up in the hospital doesn't help. 

"Nothing." Castiel sighs, "I have to go back to work." Before he can leave the crying teenager pulls on his arm to keep him in the room. "Dean, let go."

"Please." he tries to kiss Castiel but he's pushed away and forced to sit on the hospital bed- it was the wrong thing to do because Dean breaks down emotionally in an instant- "If I made you mad, I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want. I'll do anything-" he grabs Castiel's arm again, "Daddy, please don't leave me. I love you. Please. Please. Please-" tears roll down his freckled cheeks. For a split second he swears he saw the look of disgust in those blue eyes even though he's sure he imagined it. 

"Dean. Get it together." Castiel pulls his arm away. "I'm working right now-something's going around, a lot of people are really sick-"

Dean covers his mouth as his tears keep falling, he doesn't know why he can't stop crying. Castiel walks away from him and he screams- "Dad! please don't leave me again!"

Castiel turns around, Dean's shaking uncontrollably and his eyes are darting all over the room. "Dean, shhh-" he crouches down on his knees to talk to him, "Who do you think I am right now?"

Dean blinks the tears away, he's stopped crying. "Dad?"

"No, Dean. I'm not your dad-"

"Dad-" Dean hiccups, he looks so confused and disoriented "Daddy-Sir, please I'll do anything just please don't leave." Castiel gets up and helps him lay back on the bed so he can rest. "Daddy don't-Don't go, please." 

Castiel kisses him on the forehead, guilt rising in his core. "I'm so sorry, Dean." Right now Castiel is feeling like maybe Meg was right, maybe he was a big bad monster who had ruined Dean Winchester. "I'm going to go get something, I'll be right back. I promise."

"Daddy, no-" Dean tries to sit up again but he's pushed down by two strong arms.

"Can you be a good boy for me?" Dean shakes his head, "Can you be submissive to me?" Dean nods, "Thank you, Stay here. I'll be right back." and Castiel does come back a few moments later with a sleeping pill, it's quite small so the teen swallows it without any difficulty. "Chuck told me you couldn't swallow your vitamins so I'll get you something else for tomorrow." he doesn't say anything in response, he just drifts off to sleep.

Castiel works the rest of his shift overwhelmed by guilt- his thoughts consumed by the worry that he might just be the monster he was accused of being.


	24. Better?

During his hospital stay Dean gets used to the routine of- breakfast delivered to his bedside before his eyes even open and hours of boring day time TV, having his lunch when he normally would be eating breakfast or in his case, lucky charms at the kitchen table while Castiel makes food. Cas.. He never did see him again after he begged him to stay, he doesn't remember going to sleep that night. Showers are complicated, with the IV stuck in his damn arm. None of the nurses listen to him about removing it, all they do is help him into the shower while he uses one hand to wash his body and it takes everything in him not to cry.

The only people in the entire world that have seen every inch of his naked freckled body were his parents and Castiel. Jo didn't count, he wasn't completely naked for that- he kept his shirt on the whole time. But now, it seems like every nurse in the whole hospital has seen him naked. _It's humiliating._ He's tired of being on the toilet waiting for mother nature to come knocking but instead it's a nurse who does. Eating three times a day has his body entirely confused. The nurses praise him for eating but they won't tell him how much he weighs when he asks.

He's completely exhausted even though he takes a million naps a day in between nurse visits when he's getting poked or given his chalky crushed up vitamins in jello or yogurt. He prefers yogurt since he can pretend nothings been crushed in there. With jello, you can see it's been tampered with. He thinks he saw Castiel check on him once late at night but he can't tell- he's pretty sure sure he's been given something to make him fall asleep.

"Meg." he moans weakly,"It hurts-" she lifts the sleeve of his hospital gown to reveal a bad bruise on his arm, where he keeps getting poked for blood draws. "Agh-"

"Sorry about that-we'll try to leave you alone for a while."

Dean ignores her remark, "Cas." he says, "I wanna see him-" Meg makes a face. "Why can't I see him?"

"Dean-"

"What's going on! No one is telling me anything-" his voice cracks, despite eating three times a day and taking vitamins every day he feels weak.

Meg nods, "I'll go get him."

It's not long before he walks in, "Hello, Dean."

"Hello?!" Dean sits up, "You're a friggin' jerk."

"Dean, I'm not trying to be-" he sits down on the edge of the bed, "There's been a nasty virus going around, everyone's getting sick. We've all been trying to contain it."

"Yea, I heard. It's all over the news. So what, am I under lock down?" he lays back again, "I'd rather be stuck at home."

Castiel smiles and changes the subject, "I've heard you gained almost Ten pounds, meaning you'll be able to go home tomorrow."

Dean doesn't look so happy about it, "That much huh?" he swallows, his hand ghosting over his still flat stomach underneath the gown. "Fuck-" he looks down at Castiel's hand that's now holding his. "So that virus, is it really that bad?"

He nods, "I'm afraid it is. I-I've moved back home while you've been here. When you get discharged in the morning, you'll come with me." Dean actually smiles then and means it, "I'm sorry if you were scared this past week-It's been really hectic." Meg chose that moment to walk into the room. Both Dean and Castiel look her way.

"Everything okay here?"

Dean wants to roll his eyes, "Yea."

"You're needed out there." she gestures towards the door.

"I'll be there in a minute. If you don't mind-" she excuses herself before he can finish his sentence. "I better go-" Dean's face falls in sadness so he leans in and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, "Tomorrow morning, we go home."

"Promise?" Dean sulks, "I hate it here."

"I promise." with that Castiel leaves. Dean spends the rest of his hospital stay looking out the window, it was raining- just like it had been for days. His stay there had been free of panic attacks- but that was because his room had always been quiet. He didn't have to go anywhere...out there, or do anything. It was like being at a hotel- a bleach scented hotel. A hotel where they poke you every few hours.

The following morning without fail, Castiel's handsome face is the face that he sees when he wakes him- not Megs.

"Fuckin' kiss me-" Dean whimpers, he fists those powder blue scrubs in his hands- his eyes making out that scruffy face in the darkness of the room. "Miss you-" Castiel kisses him-kisses him with so much passion that it leaves Dean hard and panting under the thin blankets a few minutes later. "Need you-" his hands start pawing at Castiel.

"Not here." he backs away, Dean can tell he's not being told something. He knows the guy like the back of his hand and something's wrong. "We're going home soon-just, behave." he nods before Castiel goes to grab his discharge papers. When his breakfast comes, he doesn't touch it-he's done with hospital food. He's ready for some real food now, even if he does put on a few more pounds- it won't be the worst to happen to him. Maybe he's really is getting _better._

When Castiel comes back he's got a folder in his hand with his paperwork, "Ready?" Dean nods, he got dressed in that yucky clothes he came in with as soon as Chuck had removed the IV drip from his severely bruised arm. Now that he thinks about it, he's surprised Castiel hadn't brought him clean clothes with how thoughtful he usually is. The car ride home was extremely quiet, every now and then Castiel would squeeze Dean's thigh in reassurance that they were okay. Dean didn't believe him. Thing's felt weird, and it wasn't what was going around the hospital-Castiel had always been able to leave work at work and this was different.

They both walk into their home and Dean groans in relief, "Home sweet home-" he kicks off his boots, "I'm never going outside again-"

"You may not be able to anyway-" Castiel hesitates, "They're shutting down local schools for a while-"

"It's that bad?" Dean's face looks slightly worried.

"I'm afraid it is." He wraps his arms around the teen, "You'll be safe, it's just a precaution." his lips are ghosting over the teens, "Nothing will happen to you-" they kiss, softly for a few long moments. He takes a few seconds to look into those green eyes so he can memorize just how green they are. They remind him of _spring._

"You're freaking me out, Cas-" Dean squirms uncomfortably in his strong arms.

Castiel nods, "We need to talk-" They make their way to the sofa in the living room. "Meg, she saw us." he says once they're sitting and Dean looks at him like he doesn't know what he means so he clarifies, "She saw us. She saw me-" .

"Seriously?" Dean grips the edge of the sofa tightly. "Fucking hate that nosy bitch-"

"I don't know what exactly she saw, but it was enough-she knows." Castiel bites his lip with insecurity, "She might tell on me-she thinks I'm taking advantage of you." in that moment he wishes he kept this secret a little longer because Dean looks like he's struggling to get a deep breath in his lungs. "Damn it, Dean-I'm sorry. It's my problem-"

Dean bats his hands away and he gets up- he starts pacing around the living room trying to get a deep breath in- Castiel stands up in case Dean gets dizzy.

"You have to kill her." Dean says between labored breaths and by the look on his face he's serious. "If you love me Cas, you'll fucking kill her."

"Excuse me?"

"Kill her!" Dean repeats, "Fucking bitch keeps sticking her nose where it don't belong-there's no other way. You can't go to jail and leave me-"

Castiel rolls his eyes, "I'm not going to kill her."

"Wuss." Dean covers his face, "Hospital did me no good, I still feel like shit." Castiel goes to the kitchen, when he comes back he hands him a bottle of something he grabbed from the fridge. "What's this-Candy?" he examines the bottle. "Gummy vitamins? Are you joking-"

"You're the one who can't swallow-"

"I can swallow just fine-" he gets down on his knees and takes out Castiel's already hardening cock. "You more than anyone, should know that-"

Castiel holds onto his shoulders, "Dean-" he warns, "This isn't the best time-" and quickly stops talking when Dean's mouth devours his meat- sucking and slurping to make him come down his throat as quick as he can get him to. The filthiest sounds come from both of them. "Gah, Dean-" his knees buckle and he comes down Dean's throat- Dean swallows it all. Having those green eyes staring up at him is enough to have him believe that maybe he should kill her because this is too good to give up. Dean is too good to leave behind.

After they regain their breaths Castiel asks, "How should I kill her?"

Dean smiles and that alone makes all the risks worth it. That night he fucks his beloved twink as hard and as rough as he can for hours. The bedroom they will now share together fills with Dean's crying moans and his own groans of pleasure. He doesn't stop fucking him until Dean falls asleep mid-fuck from exhaustion- who knows how many rounds they went, had to be a few.

In the morning Dean presses kisses to his heavily stubbled face until he opens his eyes- "What are you doing-" he slurs and has to grip his wrist to keep him from grabbing his softened cock again. "I can't go again, Dean-"

"Fine, old man." Dean kisses him one last time before he rolls onto his back again. "You still gonna kill her?"

Castiel sits up abruptly, he completely forgot his promise to murder his co-worker. "I wasn't thinking clearly." he says and gets up to pull on some briefs and sweatpants. When he looks back at Dean he hates how he serious he looks, "I'm not a killer, alright?"

"I am-" he sits up in bed, his hand running through his sex hair. Castiel looks at him with confusion, "I killed a rabbit before." he shrugs. "Dad made me- on a hunting trip."

"Wild life isn't the same as a human being." Castiel sighs, "We're not killing anyone, please drop it."

"I guess that fucking bitch is gonna tell on you then. They'll take me away-" Dean looks up at him with wet eyes, "Can you really go the rest of your life without seeing me? I can't-" he stops before his voice cracks. "You have to do something-"

Castiel's pacing around their now shared bedroom, "I'll think of something." is all he says and he grabs his keys, "Are you alright to stay here by yourself? I need to run some errands?" Dean nods, and he kisses his messy hair before he takes off. He doesn't know what to do anymore-how is he supposed to keep Meg quiet? She's convinced he's a monster...even if he is, it's not her business. He's got to keep her quiet some how.

Something big is going around and it's spreading, hopefully everything shutting down keeps her quiet- all hospitals will remain open though so that doesn't help. Castiel hopes it slows her down at the very least. Two hours later he returns home to a very anxious teenager sitting outside on the porch steps smoking a cigarette which he quickly puts out with his slipper. Dean wearing his slippers makes him smile-

"Smoking? Dean, you can barely breathe on a good day." he teases, getting out of his car. He really should be mad but he's not- "Don't make that a habit."

"We're all gonna die soon anyway." he shrugs, "Nice, you brought the whole store with you-" 

"Everyone's stocking up-why not." Castiel says, handing him a few grocery bags to take inside. When he turns around he smacks him on the ass. "Hurry." Dean does. 

"Do we really need this much toilet paper?" he asks as they put things away.

"Yes because you're full of shit." Castiel smiles and it earns him a punch to the arm, it feels so good to be home. To be able to joke around like this because he doesn't know when it all might end- it could end _Soon._ Dean's cell suddenly rings and they both look at the table where it was.

Dean answers it, "Yea?" It was _Jo_ on the line.

Castiel's heart jumps to his throat, this is all they needed right now. "Uh-Yea. I miss you too-" he hears Dean say. "M'fine- I just got out of the hospital. Jo-I'm friggin' fine, We're not together anymore so quit worrying about me-" and he hangs up. Dean plays it cool, "All the friggin girls want me-"

Castiel swallows dryly- "Real heart breaker- aren't you?" Dean smiles, "Any more little girl friends I should know about?" When his eyes bore into his soul he caves. 

"Yea-but I didn't ask them to be. They don't leave me alone-" 

"How many?" Castiel asks, when Dean hesitates he grabs him by the back of the neck and pushes him down against the kitchen table until his cheek is pressing hard against the glass. "How many?"

Dean struggles, "Four, I think-" he isn't scared- he loves being man handled and dominated by Castiel. He hasn't been given anything he can't handle yet and he's grateful. "You're hurting me-" he plays along because his dick is hard once again. 

"What do you do with them?" Castiel asks him, he squeezes the back of his neck just a little- it tickles in that good way that sends a shiver of excitement down his back.

"They kiss me-" Dean whines.

Castiel hovers over Dean's back now, he laughs softly in his ear. " _They_ kiss you? Jesus, Dean. Just how submissive are you? You really let little teenage girls have their way with you?" Dean nods, "It's too bad you belong to me, don't you boy?" he stands up behind him and commands, "Stand up, push your pants down." Dean does, he stands and pushes his pajamas down until his cock is released. "You're gonna come on the table for me." he says, his hand stroking Dean's cock. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans- his back is pressed against Castiel's front as he gets his cock stroked and it feels so good. "Ugh-fuck-" 

"I can't hear you." Castiel husks into his ear- making him flinch. "I know my little girl is louder than that-"

That seems to turn him on more because Dean looks over his shoulder, his parted pink lips searching for Castiel's lips so he can get a kiss- it works. Castiel kissed him like it might be the last time he gets to because it really might be one of the last times he'll kiss his boy. "Daddy-" 

"What is it baby. What do you want from daddy, hmm?" 

"Ugh-" Dean comes all over the glass kitchen table. "Fuckin' shit-" he pants, even his ears are blushing.

"You never run out of come do you." They both look at his mess on the table, "Clean it up." The teen turns around looking completely dazed, "What are you waiting for? clean that up, we eat here for fuck sake." Dean's mouth gapes open, he's never heard him speak like that- so he does as he's told. He cleans up his mess-he's humiliated but it's _different,_ he likes it. "You've been a good boy." Castiel praises him when the table is clean, "You haven't spoken back to me in a while."

Dean's face is flushed, "Kinda like when you boss me around." 

"That so?" he nods, biting his lip. "We're going to be spending a lot of time together now, get used to it."

"Oh god- yes, sir." Dean almost moans.

Castiel wraps his arms around the teens neck, "Better make you something to eat-" at that, his face falls a little bit so he reassures him. "I'm so proud of you, when the nurses told me you were eating everything I almost didn't believe it."

Dean smiles weakly, "I thought if I ate you'd be happy with me and come see me-" he looks down, "-but you didn't." 

"I didn't intend for you to be alone." he kisses his chin, "Look at me-" their eye's meet. "Meg found out about us and she wouldn't let me near you."

"What are you gonna do?" Dean asks.

"I'll figure something out-" he lets him go and goes to the fridge to pull out things to make sandwiches with, "I'll get a job at another hospital if I have to-or we could move-" he shrugs as he's listing possible outcomes, possible solutions to their problem. 

"You'd do that for me?" Castiel nods and sniffles as he cuts a tomato for their sandwiches-he's facing away from him. He knows moving or changing hospitals won't actually solve anything, he just hopes Dean doesn't know. The problem is _Meg._ If she hadn't walked in on him that moment, they'd be fine.

A few short days go by and they don't discuss _her_. They both pretend like the world isn't going to hell outside that front door that is the only thing keeping reality at bay. Castiel continues going to work at the hospital and when he comes home late- he says nothing of that terrible virus that's been going around. He certainly doesn't bring up that ticking time bomb that is _Meg_. Dean stays home every day now that school has been shut down until further notice- he doesn't mind one bit. He rather be home- waiting for _him._

Today is no different when Castiel walks through that door- he finds the home in complete darkness. It's one in the morning after all. There's a flickering of lights and shadows as he makes his way down the hall to their bedroom, _candles._ "Hello, Dean." he pulls off his shirt, his eyes soak up the view of his Dean on the bed- wearing lace panties that appear to be a soft lilac color. He guesses he must have stole them from Charlie or Jo-not that it matters.

"Don't wanna be Dean right now-" Castiel strips off his pants and climbs into the bed, hovering over his love.

"Alright-" he kisses those pink lips once, "Babygirl." 

Dean sighs in relief that there's no judgement, "Missed you-" they both kiss, the sticky sounds of their lips pressing together fill the quiet candle lit room. Castiel's eyes glance towards the nightstand, "Thought you could-" they both stare at the can of whipped cream-"Saw it in a movie today-"

"Of course." Castiel smiles. Anything for _Dean._ He reaches for the can and dots some on those ever so perky nipples- down his still flattened tummy and right above his pubic area. "This is very romantic-" he licks at Dean's nipples, devouring the sweetness there. His soft sighs fill the room.

"Kinda wish I was a girl.." Dean says suddenly, "Things would be easier for us-"

Castiel raises a _Dom_ eyebrow at the boy, "Excuse me?" 

"When I turn Eighteen, If I was a girl-you could just marry me." Dean blushes in the weird shame he feels deep inside his soul- "Forget it-"

"Are you sure you're not a girl already? You've been acting like one lately."

Dean punches him in the arm, "Shut your fucking face, no I haven't!" he hisses. "You just-have me all confused. Kinda make me wanna be a girl for you-"

Castiel laughs, "So Dean Winchester wants to be my little wife?" he does that thing with his eyebrow again. "Do you?"

Dean's whole body is flushing a pale pink, "Kinda,Yea." he licks his lips, "Can we-role play?"

Although he's a bit concerned with Dean's love for role playing a little too much- he's been happier when they play _pretend._ It's the only time he doesn't have a panic attack. "Sure." he says finally and plays along. "Your pussy would be so pretty-if you had one." 

"Yea?" Dean lays back against the mattress, his legs parting open like an invitation which Castiel takes without hesitation- ripping off those lilac panties off his body like nothing, he doesn't want him wearing another girl's underwear. Dean's all smooth skin and freckle and he's clean shaven everywhere but it doesn't look weird. Nothing on his body ever looks weird.

"Yes, baby girl-" Castiel spreads his legs open even wider, squirting whipped cream on his hole- it twitches and it looks beautiful. "I love the pussy you already have-" he leans down to lap at the cream, Dean squirms so much he has to hold him down so can he work his boy open. It doesn't take very long for him to become a begging mess- "Ready?" he nods. Castiel's got an amazing view of him, Dean laid back- his legs wide open. Those pink lips- it's more than enough to go crazy for him, not that he hasn't already.

"Fuck me-" Dean whines and Castiel does, fucks him until his ass is full of his come. 

"Push it out for me." Castiel orders him, "Be a good girl and push out daddies come." 

Dean tries, he pushes the come out of his twitching hole. "Didn't know I could do that-" he looks down, watching Castiel's come ooze out of him. "Too bad you can't get me pregnant." As soon as it slipped, he wishes he hadn't said such a weird thing. Castiel stares at him seriously for a little too long that it makes him uncomfortable. "Sorry I-" he kisses him and he knows it's because he doesn't know how to respond to such a comment. He really should learn when to shut his mouth. All he can do is try not to cry in front of the guy- He's been such a _girl_ lately.

"Take a shower with me-" Castiel says, slapping his sweaty thigh before he gets up. "You stink-" Dean winces at that, they've been having tons of sex- more than when they had first started this _thing_ together but he needed this right now. He needs to feel good to keep the bad feelings away. When he hears the shower switch on in the bathroom, he stands up to go join Castiel.

Once he's under the spray of water, he lets it hit his face- it's not long before strong fingers massage shampoo into his short brown hair.

"Would you ever wear a dress?" Castiel's voice whispers in his ear.

"Yea, maybe."


	25. Sammy

When Castiel walks into their home after work he hears the TV in the living room "Dean, I'm home-" and pauses when he sees Sam sitting on the sofa with Dean. "Hello, Sam. Haven't seen you around here in a long time." the boy smiles awkwardly, "Don't mind me-I'll be in my room. Have a goodnight." he says all too soon before leaving the boys alone.

Later that evening when he emerges from the shower he just has to go ask why exactly he's here now of all days. "Sam, with everything happening right now- shouldn't you be home?"

Sam perks up on the sofa, "My mom's leaving out of town for a few days-" Castiel nods, looking at Dean now- his arms are crossed at his chest.

Dean sits up now too, "Can he stay a few days, please?" 

He really shouldn't allow a sleepover at a time like this but if Sam's got nowhere to go right now there's not much he can do but allow him to stay. "Alright, just don't leave the house." Both boys smile, "I mean it-" he points his finger at each of them. "Stay inside."

"Yes sir." they both salute him like soldiers. The rest of the night Castiel hears the two teenagers rough housing in the living room, he thinks he heard something break but with the roar of the TV who knows what's really happening out there. He would've gotten up to feed them some dinner but he knew they've already eaten if the empty pizza box on the coffee table was any indication of them having done so. He didn't realize that he'd drifted off to sleep until his door creaks open, "Cas?" He quickly sits up in bed. 

"What is it?" he puts on his glasses, "What's going on?" he's always on full alert now- from things going around the hospital to waiting for the shoe to drop with Meg. He just can't help being ready for something to happen. 

Both Dean and Sam step into the bedroom and instantly hes uneasy. This is weird. "Cas, can we hang out in here a bit-" thunder crashes loudly and they all startle- the house shakes with how loud the crash was. He nods against his better judgement. Castiel tries to scoot over to the middle of the bed but Sam quickly gets in on one side, Dean climbing into bed on the other- he's wedged between the both of them. This is really weird. 

He turns on the TV and flips through the channels casually as if this isn't the weirdest thing ever. If it was just Dean in bed with him- that's normal, but Sam being here too, he just can't grasp the idea. After a while of a boring Lifetime movie, Dean suddenly turns and begins kissing his neck- he quickly pushes him away and he looks at Sam for his reaction but he doesn't look surprised. 

Dean grabs the remote and turns off the TV, "Whats going on here?" he asks him. Dean's about to kiss him again and he has to hold him at arms length, "What are you doing-" his eyes focus on Sam again. _Not in front of him_ ... He has to pretend like they haven't been doing this every single night since they got _close_ again.

"C'mere Sammy-" Dean reaches for his friend and Sam gets closer, "It's okay." Sam tries to kiss Castiel who quickly shoves them both away so he can stand up. 

"What's wrong with you?" he questions Dean, who simply reaches for Sam and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. Sam kisses back. "What are you two doing? Stop that!" he yanks both boys apart by the back of their shirts. "Tell me what's going on right now!" 

Sam and Dean both look up at Castiel- "We want you." They're both the picture of innocence as they sit on Castiel's bed. 

Castiel laughs harshly, "Excuse me, we?" They both nod in response and Dean quickly moves to pull off his shirt. "Hey! Keep your shirt on!" he hisses, Sam takes off his shirt too. "Both of you, stop it!" but it's too late, before his brain can process- they're fully undressed except for underwear. 

"Come on, Cas." Dean says flirtatiously, "Don't act like we don't do this every night- me and you." 

"Sam. We do not do this- ever." he's in such deep shit, now Sam knows about them? _He really is a monster_. "This was a good prank but get dressed. Both of you." he waits but as expected they don't dress- instead Dean starts making out with his friend. Sam, returning the kiss just as eagerly as Dean's giving it to him. "Stop!" Castiel yanks Dean back by his short hair, "What the fuck has gotten into you?" 

Dean winces in pain and begins to cry-though no tears fall from his eyes. _He's faking and he's damn good at it_. Sam looks at them with wide eyes. "Shh-Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you-" he really doesn't want Sam to go home and tell his mom that he pulls Dean's hair on the regular. Even if he does- no one needs to know that. 

Dean wraps his arms around him and starts licking into his ear, "Dean, please stop. I'm not comfortable with this-" It's not long before Sam joins them, pressing nervous kisses to Castiel's neck. "Stop-" 

Sam and Dean pull away- "We won't tell anyone." 

Castiel feels drunk, he blinks up at the boys in front of him. He didn't even realize when he got pulled back into bed-Both of them are practically sitting on his lap. 

"What is it that you won't tell anyone?" he states, "Sam. I've never done anything with Dean before-"

"He knows, Cas." Dean's been on his lap for who knows how long now, he doesn't know how or when he got on top of him. _These two must've planned this._

"He knows-you're gonna give me a fucking heart attack-" he curses at Dean and tries to push him off, "Get off me right now or else." it's a warning. "I mean it, Dean." He does.

"Or else what? What are you gonna do?" they both laugh like children before his eyes. "What's the worst you can do. Fuck us?" 

Castiel's voice changes, goes darker. "That what you want?" he breathes. His hand gripping the back of Dean's hair, "You want me to fuck both of you?" Dean nods. He looks at Sam, he nods too. "Fine." he throws Dean off his lap so he lands on his back at the foot of the bed, Sam gasps- watching the exchange between them. 

"If you don't want to see this, get out." he grits out, pulling out his cock to fuck Dean with. Sam stays, so he continues. He pulls Dean's boxers off of his still thin body before he works himself into his hole with no lube- Dean doesn't seem to care. He just moans through the pain of getting pounded raw and dry. 

"Sammy-" Dean whines, looking over at his friend- "It's okay." Sam crawls over to Castiel- begins to kiss his cheek and tries for his lips. Castiel won't kiss him back- "It's okay." he repeats. 

Sam tries again, this time Castiel hesitates but let's Dean's friend kiss him and he quickly finds that it's quite pleasant. Sam's mouth is different that Dean's without a doubt but it's not terrible. His cock slips out of Dean's hole as his focus on kissing Sam grows and a deep groan escapes his mouth- he pulls away to catch his breath. Both teenage boys position themselves on their tummies so they can blow him "Don't-" he protests but they suck his cock anyway. Dean sucks for a few minutes- then it's Sam's turn for another few. 

Castiel groans loader than he's ever had, "Fuck!" he yanks Sam off his cock by his hair- "Who taught you how to do this?" Sam shrugs. "You don't talk much do you." he shrugs like an idiot again. Both Dean and Sam move quickly to lay on their backs next- side by side. They look at each other and begin kissing, gentle and soft kisses with the smallest amount of tongue. Castiel is going to hell because it's the hottest thing he's seen up to date. He swallows the saliva that's built in his throat- he wants to come so bad.

Dean can see his eyes are focused on Sam-"Wanna fuck Sammy?" he asks while jerking himself off lazily. Castiel shakes his head. "Fuck him, he wants it."

"You want it?" Castiel asks Sam, who nods eagerly and says please. He slowly eases the head of his cock into Sam's virgin hole-he cries through it but Dean kisses him sweetly to calm him. Before he knows it he's a few inches inside teenager- "Damn it-" he groans, fucking him with just three inches of his cock. Sam makes different noises than Dean does when he gets fucked- it's weird and it's different. He's not sure if he likes it or not- maybe he does because he doesn't stop fucking him. 

Sam has freckles all over his body too. Just like Dean, but he's tan and has longer hair. While he fucks into Sam for what seems like forever, the two boys kiss each other sweetly until Castiel comes all over Sam's coffee colored skin. "Fuck." he groans before falling on top of them both and they all fall asleep like that.

In the morning when he wakes up his head is pounding and he swears it was all a dream- it's not until he stands up and sees the pair of teenagers passed out cold on his bed that he realizes it wasn't a dream. Dean's on his stomach fast asleep and the other is curled up on his side. The image is almost _pretty_ and he's going to hell again for even thinking that. He slips out of the house for work before they wake up because he can't stand to face either of them yet. 

That day he stays at the hospital for way too long, they need his help anyway but he has to return home eventually-so he does. He arrives at home way too late in hopes that both boys will be asleep. Castiel peeks into the living room and there lays Sam on the sofa fast asleep, he makes his way to his bedroom and there lays Dean passed out on their bed. "Cas-" he quickly stirs when the light flicks on suddenly, "You were gone so long-" he sits up and looks adorable. 

"They needed me to stay." he lies, "How's Sam?" he has to ask- he took the kids virginity after all. 

Dean yawns as he stretches his long limbs, "He's fine-" he lays back in bed. "But I'm not-" 

Castiel undresses himself until he stands only in boxer briefs, "Why? what's wrong?" he lifts the covers and climbs into bed as usual. 

"I'm jealous." Dean sulks, his bottom lip poking out ever so slightly in the most boyish way. "Didn't think you'd actually fuck him right in front of me." 

"If you're messing with me-stop doing it." Castiel has to say because he knows how much this boy loves to push his buttons until he gets pissed. "Tell me all of this is a sick joke-"

"Kinda was-but I thought you loved me enough to not fuck him." when he looks up again he sees that _look_ in his eyes and knows that the waterworks are coming. 

Castiel quickly tries to pull him into a hug that's rejected- "Tell me what to do, I'll fix it-Please." Dean just shrugs, the tears finally come. "I didn't mean to cheat-I-"

"It's okay, Cas. I know Sammy is friggin' cute-" he wipes his cheeks- "You're right, I'm such a fucking girl for you-I just, I fucking love you so damn much-" Castiel tries to kiss him but he pulls away again, "I fucked Jo, you fucked Sam-guess we're even."

Castiel holds Dean's face in his hands and says -"You're my boy, not Sam." because he doesn't know what else to say. He really should have known better than to fuck them both like that. Dean weakly nods like he doesn't believe him. "I love you- not Sam. You hear me?" 

"Yea, Cas." Dean sniffles, "Yea."

Castiel leaves Dean to sleep it off in bed and he sneaks out early in the morning after a few short hours of troubled sleep- Sam is there on the sofa still passed out and he wishes the kid didn't show up but he's Dean's _brother_ regardless of what happens between the three of them. They had the strongest and the weirdest bond he's ever seen two boys have and it's none of his business. He's more concerned with the fact that now two people on the outside know about his relationship with Dean. _Fuck._

He drives to the grocery store because it's the only place still open- he buys his boy flowers because that's all he can think of as a peace offering. Maybe he'll pay someone to fix the car he got for him so he can actually drive it. After that, he goes to Mcdonald's because it's the second place he sees open amidst everything being shut down these days- he orders both boys breakfast and he doesn't forget that Mocha coffee thing Dean likes. He's trying his best in this situation in hopes to be forgiven for fucking his best friend. That _damn cliche._

This would never happen to Castiel-maybe when he was younger it might have, during his college days but even then it's quite a stretch. He still can't believe their threesome even happened- they must have planned it, they technically seduced him. They _begged_ him for it. 

When he pulls up back at the house he sees Dean on the front porch smoking the cigarette he quickly stomps out- with his boot- it hurts that he's not wearing his slippers this time. 

"Hey, bitch." Dean smiles, of course he has regained himself- the kid quickly recovers from his girly episodes. When Castiel gives him the flowers and apologizes, he laughs-"The fuck am I supposed to do with these-" though he ends up smelling the flowers behind Castiel's back and they later end up in a water pitcher at the kitchen table- they lied to Sam about it, saying it was to liven up the place.

Castiel calls out "Boys, come eat-" and he quickly thinks how wrong that sounds. His mind is definitely in the _gutter_. Both boys come barging in loudly into the kitchen, "Sit down." he says, mostly to Dean because Sam doesn't need to be told to eat. During breakfast, Dean keeps whispering things into Sam's ear that he can't make out- it makes him laugh every time. "What's so funny?" Castiel asks the tan boy.

Sam blushes, "Nothing." he finishes up his last bite and chugs his orange juice while Dean is staring at Castiel- chomping down on his food aggressively- _annoyingly._

"Close your mouth." He orders him, "Don't be disgusting-" Dean opens his mouth to show him the mashed up mix of food in his mouth. He doesn't get mad, he's beyond used to the weirdness that is Dean Winchester. "Is this what I'm going to be dealing with from now on?" Both boys look at each other for a few seconds and nod. Castiel groans at the thought of being annoyed to death for weeks by these two. They keep being brats until Dean's forced to take his vitamins-there's not a peep in the air after that.

They spend the rest of the day eating junk and watching Netflix- Castiel can't take watching any more _Good Girls_ so he excuses himself to go take a cold shower and head to bed.

It's not long before Sam comes padding into his room- "You're kidding, right?" he says, Dean walks into the room too, "Get out. Both of you."

"But Daddy. We need you-" 

Castiel laughs, "What you're feeling is called Cabin Fever, it'll pass. Now go." he points at the door but the boys are already climbing into bed with him. "I'm not doing this again-" he says as the greedy duo kiss his bare chest and he's instantly regretting getting into bed semi nude. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans as he tries to ride Castiel's cock, it's somehow been freed by one or the other- Sam kisses his neck and shoulders while Dean eases down on the girth that is his step father. "So fucking big-" 

Castiel groans- his hands are gripping the sheets beneath him. "Get off me-" he tries and fails, no one listens.

"Why don't you make us-" Dean teases, "You're being so submissive to us-"

Castiel laughs darkly "Am I?" when they nod in response he flips Dean over so he can fuck into him until he becomes a crying mess. "Not gonna join us?" he asks Sam. "Sam-"

_Sam...Sam...Sam!_

Castiel jolts awake roughly, he looks around the dark room and there are no teenage boys in his bed. This time it was just a _dream._


	26. Sweet Girl

Things were weird at the house between the three of them until Sam went home two days later. _Finally..._ but the world outside was still weird, that virus was still going around and no one was leaving their homes. Dean doesn't mind, he loves being at home and not having to worry about school. _School-_ He probably wasn't going to graduate but it didn't matter right now. Castiel assured him he could get his GED at any point in time. _When he's ready._ He was pretty cool like that. 

They hadn't had sex after their _threesome yet_ -neither brought it up but maybe that's for the best. Castiel would never tell Dean that he might want to fuck Sam again or maybe watch Dean fuck Sam. He couldn't tell him about the new _desires_ they awoke in him.

Dean getting older- that was sparking up new ideas to try out. New ways to be rough with him now that he could take it. Those panic attacks worried him, he couldn't completely lay it on him. _He'd freak._ He doesn't know the extent of his darkness, of how he likes to _play._

Now that they're alone Dean can have his present. Castiel places a shopping bag next to his bowl of lucky charms one morning, "Surprise." 

Dean swallows, a smile appearing on his sleepy face. When he opens the bag to peek inside he sees fabric with a floral pattern- "The fuck is this-" he pulls out a pretty pink floral dress and instantly blushes. "Uh-you were serious about the dress thing?"

Castiel kisses Dean's bed hair, "Go try it on so you can show me." and he does go try it on without protest, he's probably been wanting to experiment-even then, Dean is a goofball who would wear a dress just for laughs.

After a few minutes Dean comes back to the kitchen in his new dress. "Don't fucking laugh." he states seriously as he stands there in his feminine glory. "I look fucking dumb right-"

Castiel analyzes him, "Not the word I'd use." he laughs, "Actually, you look pretty- for a boy." That comment earned him a well deserved punch to the arm. 

"Can i take this thing off?" Dean's skin is flushed pink from his neck to his ears to match his dress. "C'mon this is weird-" he's pulled into Castiel's strong arms and he's being kissed, those rough hands grabbing at his ass from underneath the dress. _Can't do that wearing jeans that's for sure._

"Baby girl, tell me you love me." Castiel's hands are kneading his ass cheeks like dough- it makes his boy moan like a whore.

"I love you-daddy."

Castiel lifts Dean up on the glass kitchen table, pushing his dress all the way up until his nipples are exposed- "Whose my pretty girl?" he asks, his hands now grabbing Dean's thick thighs. 

Dean's legs tremble, "Ugh- your pretty girl."

That's enough to make Castiel pull down Dean's too small boxers he was wearing under the dress- he makes a note to maybe buy him his own panties soon. His dick is freed- and it's already hard. They both are. "Such a sweet girl for me. Aren't you?" he whispers, kissing along those freckled inner thighs. 

"Ugh-please-" he whines, "More-talk to me like that-"

"You love when I talk to you like this baby?" Castiel coos, "My sweet girl. I love you so much and I love this pretty pink hole-" he laps at the eagerly twitching hole. "So fucking pretty, it's so pink and cute-" Dean moans louder, his hands grip the edge of the table. "I love fucking my baby girl-" he pushes inside of his boy-his saliva would have to do for lube this time, yet Dean never complains if it's forgotten. He loves Castiel's dick however it's given to him. 

"Ugh-fuck daddy." Dean's breathing is erratic but this time it's because of the pleasure he's feeling, not anxiety. "You fuck me so fucking good my fucking God-" he bites his lip.

Castiel smiles smugly, "I know baby girl. I know you love it-" he pounds into that tight heat rougher now, "When I come you're gonna swallow-" with that, Dean comes all over his exposed stomach. "Good girl, get over here-" he hops off the table unsteadily to get down on his knees in front of Castiel. "Do you want daddies milk? Tell me you want it."

Dean nods, his pretty green eyes looking up at him. "Give me that fucking milk daddy-" Castiel loses it, he comes all over Dean's open mouth- his face- and on his new dress. Dean gags a little bit before he sticks out his tongue out all the way to show him all the come he was about to swallow- he gulps it down.

"Oh my-fuck." Castiel huffs out a harsh breath, "I-I can't even-" he pulls the boy up by his arms and kisses his forehead- the only inch on his face not covered in white. "You're so good for me."

Dean smiles weakly, "This was fun-but we gotta burn this damn thing." They both laugh softly, "I don't like the floral print-I want something tighter."

Castiel is taken off guard, "Tighter?"

"Like, sexy-" Dean pulls off the floral dress and tosses it on the floor, he stands there naked. "I like black." he says before walking away from the scene. "Be creative! Maybe some stockings I don't fucking know-" he calls back, "Get me some friggin panties too-"

All Castiel can think about the rest of the day is Dean wearing stockings and a thong. The day at work is stressful- too many patients. He can't concentrate, images of Dean waiting for him at _home_ distract him throughout his shift. When he leaves the hospital, he's happy- he can't wait to see his boy. The last few years had been hell on him, they suddenly had stopped fooling around with no explanations. _Nothing._ Everything ended and he never knew why- but now, he's got him back and he's determined to keep him.

When he pulls up into the driveway there's a cop car parked at the end of the street. He sees it but he ignores the car, if they were here for him there would probably be more than one cop waiting for him. He lets himself inside and goes to work on dinner, something romantic. Dean was passed out on the sofa in the living room, he'd wake him when the food was ready. Tonight Dean should have his favorite- burgers, fries and apple pie. Obviously he bakes the pie from scratch. 

Everything except for the pie is ready when Dean wakes up, he walks into the kitchen and sits down. He's quite proud of him- he hasn't had to beg the teen to eat in a while he's doing it on his own. "How was work?" he asks sleepily.

Castiel places a plate with a burger and fries in front of the sleepy kid- "It was fine."

Dean starts to grow nervous as he looks around at the lit candles on the table. "What's the occasion, Cas?" a wine glass is placed next to his meal which Castiel pours red liquid into, he instantly smells the vino and isn't sure if he likes it. He's assured that it's okay to drink it so he takes a sip, "Ugh, that's nasty-"

"You'll get used to it." Castiel smirks, sitting down across the table and starts to eat. "Did you take your vitamins today?"

"Uh-"

"Dean, it's important." green eyes bore into his blue eyes, "I'm not mad at you, just please-" with that Dean gets up to go to the fridge, pops two vitamins into his mouth and comes back to the table. "Good boy." The oven dings, Castiel gets up to retrieve the pie from the oven.

"Oh my God you made pie." Dean licks his lips, he hurries to finish the burger because he knows he won't be allowed to have any unless he does so. They talk for a while, Dean makes jokes and Castiel laughs- it's weirdly romantic for a dinner that consists of burgers and fries. The teens bare foot gently touches his ankle underneath the table as if to tease him. By now the pie has cooled and the candles are almost out- "Can I?" he looks at the pie eagerly. 

"Sure." Castiel cuts into the pie, but instead of serving Dean a slice- he picks up a small amount of the desert on his fingers so he can feed him. "Here-"

Dean knows better than to refuse, Castiel can get pretty scary if he disobeys- but he likes this kind of danger. It never hurts. He opens his mouth and allows himself to be fed-"M'good-" he sucks the fingers that feed him after each small bite, somehow it tastes better this way. 

"You're very pretty, Dean." Castiel says suddenly. Dean gets shy as he always does when he's complimented, though he keeps eating from his fingers. Castiel stands, "Finish your wine-then come to bed." he finishes what's left of his own glass and heads to their bedroom.

Dean gulps dryly before he swallows down the rest of his wine- it's not bad, it's kinda like cough medicine in a way. He feels an odd warmth in his stomach that hes never felt before- he doesn't like it. "Cas-my stomach." he whines when he walks into their room. "Is it supposed to feel like this?"

Castiel is in bed, under the covers "Yes, wine makes you feel warm inside." Dean gets in bed too, looking uncomfortable. "Shh- it's okay. I know it's weird but you'll thank me when you sleep like a baby tonight."

He snorts, "Yea, right." it's no secret he has trouble sleeping- he wakes up every hour or so to toss and turn before falling asleep again. "I don't like this feeling-" his hand is over his stomach. 

"You're fine, Dean. You worry too much-" he pulls the teen closer, pressing a few kisses to his tummy. "I love you." After a short make out session- Dean falls asleep rather quickly. Castiel was right- the wine worked. 

Early in the morning as Castiel showers, Dean hops into the shower nearly startling him- "Kiss me." Dean murmurs softly, the hot water of the stream pouring down his freckled face and chest. "Need you-" they kiss slowly under the water, it's all tongue and hands grabbing at moist skin. They both breathe loudly and moan softly between tongue kisses, "You gonna?" he asks him, he turns over to show off his ass as he begins to lather himself up, trying to tempt his step father.

"Not now-" Castiel spanks Dean's bubble butt loudly in the shower, causing him to whimper. "I'm in a rush. Finish up in here while I get ready to go." he gives one last kiss to the back of the boys wet shoulder. 

Castiel kisses Dean goodbye on his way out the door for work- the teen sat on the front porch steps of the house to smoke a cigarette. He waited until Castiel actually left before lighting the cig. Dean doesn't technically _enjoy_ smoking, it tastes like shit but it's the only thing that reminds him to breathe normally. 

_In...out...in out..._

As he lights his second cigarette a teenager walks by- stops and stares at him. One hand goes up in a awkward motionless wave, "Hello."

Dean looks around to make sure the kid is saying hi to him and no one else, he awkwardly returns the wave. "Uh-hey." The teenager walks up his driveway- remaining a few feet away. 

"Do you have eggs?" he asks.

Dean squints, scratching his head. "You know you're not supposed to be out of the house right? You could die." 

"You're outside." the teen points out. "I'm Jack, I live over there-" he points to a house down the street. "I moved here last month."

Dean nods like he's uninterested, because he really is uninterested. He does notice however that they appear to be around the same age- "So, eggs?" he has to ask.

Jack smiles and Dean would be a liar if he said it wasn't cute as hell. "Yes, mother told me to ask a neighbor. We didn't prepare-"

Dean waves him off, "We have extra, my uh-dad-bought the whole store." he stands and the stray puppy tries to follow him inside, "Stay here-" he enforces. When he comes back he hands the kid a grocery bag with a whole carton of eggs and a pack of toilet paper.

Jack looks confused for a second then blushes, "Thanks-"

"Dean."

Jack takes the cue that he's supposed to leave now but before he does he asks, "Can I have your number?" Dean can't say no to the adorable puppy so he gives it to him- he probably needs a friend. "Bye." he says and rushes down the street. Dean goes to the sidewalk so can see which house the kid goes into, he's only a few houses down. If he needed eggs he might need something else- later that day he ends up leaving a few extra essentials on Jack's doorstep.

When Castiel returns home with a pizza for old times sake, he's in a good mood until he sees Dean. "Dean, whats wrong?" he cups his young face in his hands, "Are you okay?" the teen just nods, blinking rapidly. "Dean-"

"M'fine." he bats his hands away, "My head just hurts-really bad." Castiel keeps looking into his eyes with a worried look- "I feel fuckin' sleepy and weak-" Dean gets up from the sofa and Castiel's got him before he sways- they walk slowly towards the bedroom, he helps the teen into bed and turns up the AC higher- the boy was flushed.

"You didn't eat today did you."

"I swear I did, I-I'll have some of that pizza you brought." he ends up saying before he's scolded again. Castiel and Dean eat pizza in bed while watching TV until he speaks up, "S'good-" he wipes his mouth and greasy fingers on a bunch of napkins. "So, We got a new neighbor-"

Castiel wipes his mouth too, "I've met them, yes. She's pregnant and came by the hospital when she thought she'd gone into labor a few weeks ago. Kelly and her son-" he struggles to remember the name-

"Jack." 

"How do you know Jack?" Castiel asks and his tone is cautious. 

Dean does his best not to blush, to Castiel it must seem like he _likes_ just about everybody he comes into contact with- he's got every right to be jealous. "He wanted eggs. The kid's weird-" he finishes, getting another slice to bite into. They don't talk about the new neighbors anymore that night, instead they settle in bed and watch more TV until late that night. It's around three in the morning when Castiel shuts off the TV and moves closer to the teen, his hand ghosting over his crotch. "Yea?" Dean says.

"Thought you might-" 

"I ate too much-" Dean lies, he does want to have sex but he can barely get a deep breath in- and he's lightheaded. A fucking from Castiel is not something he can endure right now. "Sorry-I want to, just-" Castiel kisses him softly, "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be?" They both lay back in bed, staring at each other in the darkness. Dean feels so bad that his hand reaches into Castiel's briefs to pull out his cock- "You don't have-" the teens hand starts stroking firmly and slowly- up and down- he can't deny how good that feels after another long stressful day at work. "Fuck, keep going-" When he can tell he's close, Dean takes Castiel into his mouth so he can come- Castiel grips his hair and tugs roughly when he does, he doesn't mean to tug on the boys hair so hard it hurts him but in the moment he can't help it. 

Dean whimpers breathlessly, swallowing his load. Castiel puts himself away in his briefs again and pulls Dean up in a hug, "Thank you." he whispers in his ear- his fingers threading through the hair he tugged too hard. It's completely unexpected when Dean starts to cry- it's silent but his shoulders are shaking. "Are you okay?"

"Just-" Dean breathes deeply, "-wanna feel better." is all he says before he pulls away and rests his head on the pillow. He closes his eyes and admits - "I can't live like this, Cas. I just can't." another tear escapes through his thick lashes to rest on his cheek. 

Castiel brushes the tear away- "Tell me what to do." is all he can say, he's growing more and more worried about him every day. "Tell me-"

"Wish mom never had me." Dean states and turns to lay on his side away from Castiel. 

"Don't say that-" Castiel leans in, inhaling the scent that is his boy. "Tomorrow will be better. You'll wake up and-"

"I'll wake up just to feel like shit another day." Dean says bitterly. "I'm tired, goodnight." he shrugs Castiel's hand off his hip.

"I love you, Dean."


	27. Scars

It's Saturday - Castiel's weekends usually began on Thursday but lately he's been working every day. When the table is set with the breakfast he just made he goes in search for him.

"Dean?" he calls out and by dumb luck he checks the bathroom first, "What are you doing taking a bath this early?" he asks as soon as he finds the teen laying in the tub- the water was _pink._ That's odd. "Made breakfast." he states when he doesn't respond. "Stop messing around- get out." 

Dean opens one eye in annoyance, "Can't eat right now." his chest rises and falls slowly, deeply. "Maybe later." his hand goes to cover his eyes like he's in agony.

Castiel comes into the bathroom, leans on the edge of the sink. "I'm sorry you feel like crap. I'd get you an inhaler from the hospital pharmacy but you don't have asthma." 

"Yea." 

Castiel's eyes pan over the scene and they stop to analyze the teens arm, _fresh cuts._ "Damn it, Dean. I thought you were done doing this?" he goes over to grab his arm to inspect the wounds up close. "Answer me."

Dean shrugs, "Guess not-" 

He instantly feels sorry and knows anger isn't the way to approach the situation, "I'm sorry." he kisses Dean's wet hair, "I worry about you, you know that." he kisses the corner of his mouth now- the kiss isn't returned. 

"You knew?" Dean looks down at his wounded wrist- Castiel nods. With that Dean stands up, takes the towel handed to him and begins to dry off. "Can you go-I-I need to be alone." Castiel looks like he doesn't want to leave him, "Not gonna do nothin'-gotta use the bathroom." He nods and once again he's left alone. Dean sits on the toilet and cries for a few minutes as he tries to catch his breath so he can get dressed. He knows Castiel would have helped him dress, but he just can't let him do that. He doesn't want to be a kid who needs help anymore- he wants Castiel to see him as his partner. 

When he makes it to the kitchen, Castiel's already eaten by the looks of his empty plate and half filled coffee mug. He sits down without saying a word and begins to eat his scrambled eggs. It's not long before he's breathless- he tries his best to hide it but fails miserably. He has to settle for just drinking orange juice. Castiel watches him worriedly.

"Friggin' hard to eat when I feel-ugh." he rests his chin on his hand, already having given up on his food. "S'good, just can't-" Castiel comes up behind him and rubs his shoulders. "Feels good." he lets himself relax, "Wait, stop." Castiel stops- he doesn't need to be told that he's dizzy. 

"You're alright, Dean. I got you." he helps Dean up slowly, "Bed or couch?" 

"Bed-" Dean clutches onto Castiel's arm for dear life- his eyes begin to water and Castiel sees it though he says nothing. Dean hates to appear weak. Once he's sitting up in bed- Castiel brings him his laptop. "Thanks-" he refuses to meet his gaze.

Castiel leans in to kiss him goodbye for the day but that kiss is also rejected- he'd be a liar to say it didn't hurt. "I'll try to be home early tonight-" Dean only nods, he can't tell if he's upset with him or if he's ashamed for crying. "Don't hesitate to call me-"

"Yea." Dean opens the laptop and starts typing- "People need you, go." Castiel wishes he could stay knowing that right now his boy needs him too, but he can't no matter how much he wants to. He spends a few hours browsing the web and once he's had enough of everything going on around the world he shuts the computer without logging off. 

Aside from his better judgement, he knows he shouldn't - but he lights up his daily cigarette regardless of the fact he can barely breathe. _Damn it._ After a few drags of the cig he stomps it out- it's not worth it. The last thing he needs is to cough up a lung. Dean sits on his front porch steps looking around at his run down neighborhood and can't help his thoughts from drifting to _Jack._

He pulls out his phone, they had each others numbers so why not text him. If he wasn't in school, neither would Jack. 

**Dean:** _Hey_

Almost instantly his phone dings with a reply. Dean smiles. 

**Jack:** _Hello (wave emoji)_

Dean smiles again, his fingers work to punch in his response.

 **Dean:** _Come over? (smiley emoji)_

There's no response for a few minutes. He stares at his phone waiting and he's almost bummed out about it when he hears that familiar _hello._ Dean looks up to find the teenager standing a considerable distance away from him. "Hello-" he repeats, his hand goes up again in a motionless wave. 

Dean beams in relief he's got someone to talk to now since Castiel was always working. "Hey. What were you doing at home?" Jack sit's down Indian-style on the ground a few feet away from him. _Cute._

"I was helping mother around the house-she has trouble doing things now." Jack doesn't elaborate but Dean already knows she must be huge.

"Pregnant huh?" Dean smiles at his new little friend. 

Jack smiles big enough that it makes him look younger than they both are, "Yes- I'm getting a baby sister." 

He can't help but smile again- "Baby sister, isn't that cute." he bites his bottom lip as he thinks of having a threesome with Jack and _Castiel- NO._ After he clears his throat he stands up, Jack stands up too. "Better go inside, same time tomorrow?" he really doesn't know where that came from but he's so lonely and he assumes his new friend is too by the eagerness to agree is any indication. "Alright man, tomorrow. Same time-" he points at him before walking into the house.

Dean knows he's a creep because he watches his new friend walk away from the window until he disappears. He's killing time in front of the sofa when his phone dings- it's Castiel. 

**Cas:** _Thinking of you._

"Yea, I bet-" he says aloud when his phone dings again with a message from Jack. He opens it and sees a picture of Jack with who he assumes is his mom with that big baby bump. His heart warms up a bit- as he's typing his reply a series of emojis keep popping up. Everything from a pig-to a cow and hearts come through. Jack must have sent every color heart emoji there was available. 

Dean hesitated but sent a rainbow of emoji hearts included in his response- completely forgetting to text Castiel back. 

**Dean:** _Pretty family_ _(heart emojis in every color)_

The next thing that pops up is a request from Jack to video chat- he's not ready for it though he sits up anyway and does his best to fix his hair like they didn't just see each other outside not long ago. Dean presses the answer button - "Uh-hey."

Jack smiles, waving. "Hello." He moves around on his bed as he tries to get comfortable, he's shirtless and his hair is wet. Dean noticed. "What are you doing?"

Dean swallows, "Jus' watching a movie-" he lies as his eyes fix on the blacked out screen of the television for a few seconds. 

"Do you want to be best friends?" Jack blurts out, "I don't have one." 

"Uh-I got one already-" and he can't help the pouty look Jack makes so he gives in. "I mean, I can have more than one best friend." Dean winks at his new best friend through the screen and instantly wants to cringe. _Don't friggin' flirt asshole._ "How old are you anyway?"

Jack hiccups, "Fourteen." 

"Are you serious?" 

Jack nods, "Why how old are you? We look the same age."

Dean feels terrible because yes they did in fact look the same age, he was pretty thin again and it shaved off a couple years from his already young face- "I'm Seventeen." 

"Really? Why aren't you bigger-" when he sees the look on Dean's face he knew he put his foot in his mouth. "I'm sorry. Mother's calling me-I'll see you tomorrow. Same time?" Dean hides his shame as they say their goodbyes and wish each other a good night. 

Castiel comes home extra late that night as Dean is in the shower, he smiles when he hears the shower going and decides to strip off his scrubs and surprise his boy. Once he's naked he pulls back the shower curtain, "Fuck! don't you knock-" Dean hisses. His eyes are red but he knows better than to ask what's wrong. 

"You never responded to my text." Castiel tries to get in- "I missed you." but he's denied entry, "I wan't to shower with you, Dean." he tries to kiss his boy on the lips but that's also rejected. "Alright, what's going on? Are you rejecting me all over again?" 

Castiel tries to hide the anger and hurt in his voice but he doesn't do a good job of it. "Shower's all yours, I'm done." Dean steps out and wraps a towel around his waist yet again not meeting his eyes. 

"Answer me!" Castiel grabs Dean by the shoulder, "Don't do this to me again!" he pulls away and walks out of the bathroom leaving him alone. "If you want to be over then fucking tell me!" he yells after him. Dean ignores him and goes to _his_ room. Twenty minutes later Castiel opens his door, "Talk to me-" he stands at the doorway. 

Dean becomes angry, "What? You think I'm just gonna let you fuck me whenever the hell you want? I'm not a friggin' blow up doll, Cas." he sighs, "I needa fuckin' break here-" With that, Castiel slams the door to his room. Dean sulks alone in his broken twin bed until he can't take how uncomfortable he is laying there that he goes and tries to sneak into Castiel's room. 

"Go to your room." Castiel demands when his door creaks open, he's sitting up in bed reading a book. "I don't want you in here tonight."

Dean comes into the dimly lit room anyway- Castiel sighs, turning the page of his boring book. "So I gotta suck your dick if I wanna sleep in here?" he says seriously. "Because I'll do it."

Castiel looks up for a few seconds and returns to reading, "I don't need you to suck anything." 

Dean strips off the only thing he was wearing- his boxers and climbs into bed, above the covers so Castiel can see everything. "Is that right?" Castiel glances over, unaffected by all that bare skin. "Come on, Daddy. Give it to me good-" Castiel's on him in no time, kissing his neck, his hands all over his body. Castiel kisses his naked skin for a few short minutes until he actually manages to get hard-suddenly Dean's gasping "Stop-stop-" 

"That's what I thought." Castiel rolls off of the teen, "That's why you're rejecting me-" he looks over at Dean panting-struggling for a deep breath. "I won't be mad if you can't have sex, I just want you to be honest with me." Dean nods, still panting. "You need to eat and take your vitamins." 

"Yea-" he sighs, "Sorry-" Castiel pulls Dean close to his chest, careful not to block his face so he can breathe.

"Still love me?" he asks, looking up at him with uncertainty. 

Castiel nods, "Always." kissing the top of his short fluffy hair. "How about we go for a drive in the morning, pick up some breakfast?" 

Dean smiles, "Yea, Cas. Sure-" he closes his eyes as fatigue overwhelms him, "Sure-" 

In the morning Castiel goes to pick up breakfast on his own- he couldn't manage to get the teen out of bed. When he comes back, Dean's sitting on the kitchen table with his phone in his hands- his fingers working away on the screen. "Why is Jack waiting for you outside?" he asks, looking puzzled but mostly annoyed. 

Dean blushes, "He's my friend." Castiel studies him, not believing that one bit- He knows how frisky Dean can be with _others_ that aren't himself. "I swear!" he whines, taking a sip of the Starbucks drink that was placed in front of him. Castiel keeps watching him suck down his mocha frappuccino, he notices he's being studied so he says- "Drinks are easier to-" he clears his throat, "You know-"

Castiel is halfway done with his food and drink, "Do you know what they do to people who don't want to eat, Dean?" he shakes his head, "A nurse sticks a thin tube in your nose-"

"Stop!" Dean shrieks, "I'll try to eat-" Castiel smiles and moves in to cut Dean's cream cheese bagel into smaller pieces in hopes that it will make it easier. "Thanks-" it worked, it took half an hour and many shorts breaks but he managed to eat the whole thing. Castiel looks too proud of himself, "You know I'm not starving myself this time, right? I jus-I friggin' lose my breath alright." he sighs when he's done explaining. 

Castiel nods, "I'm sorry, I thought you were choosing not to eat." 

Dean shakes his head, "I was getting better, wasn't I?" 

"You were still eating less than a boy your age should but yes, you were doing much better." he leans over to kiss his forehead before moving to clean up their mess, "I'm proud of you, anything you manage to eat successfully is a victory." Dean smiles, his cheeks turning pink. "Before we forget, take your damn vitamins." he hands him the bottle with a smirk on his face, "These will help, you'll feel better eventually."

"Don't I got anemia or some shit?" Dean chews on his vitamins, examining the bottle. "Hows this gonna help?"

Castiel leans against the sink, "You have a mild case, you might have to go into the hospital for an iron infusion-"

"No more fuckin' hospitals-" Dean's still reading the label on the bottle, "Hated it and you weren't there for me, you asshole. Uh- isn't there something I can just take at home-"

"Iron supplements but you need a prescription, you can't get it until I take you to your regular doctor-but we need to wait until this virus slows down. It's a respiratory virus and-you can barely breathe as it is." Dean looks at him and he can see the look of worry and pain in his face. "For now, take your vitamins."

"Sure, Dad." Dean says sarcastically while making a face. "Jack's probably still out there, so-" they both smile awkwardly and Dean goes out to the porch- he's still there- examining something inside one of his dried up bushes. "What are you doing?"

Jack looks up, "Dean! Come over here-look." Dean goes over and stands next to him even though he's not supposed to come anywhere near six feet from him. "Look at them-" They both look down into a hole that was hidden in the bush, they could see a few wild baby rabbits in there. "Aren't they cute?" Jack tugs on his sleeve.

Dean blushes, "Didn't even know there were rabbits in my yard-I don't really go exploring out here." 

"What are you doing for Easter?" 

Dean laughs, "I never celebrate it, I'm not a kid-don't think I ever was." his tone changes from humorous to sad in a matter of seconds, "You doing anything?" 

"Yes. Mother and I always do egg hunts in our yard-"

"Wish I could come." Dean says longingly, he yearns for a good mother and a family. "But you know-" he takes a few steps back, keeping his distance. "All this going on-" Jack also remembers and takes a few steps back himself. 

"I'll bring you come candy, it's closed- we never touched it." Jack smiles sadly because he would love to have his friend join him on their traditional Easter egg hunt. "Do you like chocolate?"

"Yea. Jack. I like chocolate-" Dean smiles, "You better go home before you get a sun burn."

Both teens look up at the sun shining down on them and it's beautiful- soon they smile sadly at each other while saying goodbye for the day when they really wish they could hug one another. Dean and Jack understood each other because they were both _lonely_ in ways no one ever knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dealing with health issues so updates will be a little slower but I'm Still here, still writing <3


	28. Wish you were here

_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.._

_Year after year.._

Dean softly sings as he does the dishes for Castiel, he feels bad he works such long hours and also picks up the slack of all the chores. It's the least he could do.

It's Easter Sunday and Castiel's got the day off- When Castiel opens his eyes- everything is blurry.

All he can make out in front of him is a tray being placed on his lap as he moves slowly to sit up in bed. Dean made him _breakfast._ There's a stack of four waffles on a plate- the kind that go in the toaster of course because he can't cook. There's eggs too- they're scrambled and almost burnt but it smells amazing. He can't remember the last time he ate, probably the quick bite he had for lunch yesterday at the hospital. 

Castiel quickly devours all of the four buttered waffles and poorly made eggs. After gulping both his coffee and orange juice he sighs in enjoyment. Dean watched him the entire time, his mouth was almost open in shock but he knows how much Castiel can eat. _Jealousy_ bubbles in his stomach, he wishes he had the energy to eat a full meal- who knows how long it's been. 

Every day has been a struggle for Dean- he tries his best to hide it because he can't become a burden to Castiel. He's been eating three times a day but does he finish his meal? He rarely can. 

Castiel worries about Dean but he knows better than to nag him to eat more than he is able to. Dean's almost an adult and he's prone to anger- they haven't discussed the fights he's gotten into at school or the bloody nose he's gotten from him and _Meg_ never did set up that appointment to get him some counseling. 

Dean goes outside as usual to talk to his new friend, _Jack._ Castiel isn't worried, Jack is too young for Dean to be messing around with but with Dean- you never know. He watches the two teenagers from the window as he sips on his second cup of coffee that morning. He can't hear what's being said but he assumes it's funny by all the giggles that erupt from the younger boy. They spend a few hours outside chatting before parting ways for the day- he's just happy Dean's in a good mood when he comes back inside.

Dean has even started to kiss him again, they don't make out and it's not passionate but it's sweet and he's grateful for the affection. Any affection is better than none. He's still rejected when he tries to take things further than a few pecks on the lips- Dean sighs and turns over in bed. Castiel knows why he's being rejected. It's nothing personal but he can't help but feel his heart ache when he's turned down.

He can't help but feel sad for Dean when he sees how much he struggles to breathe, if he didn't know any better he'd assume he's had asthma the entire time. One day he can't take it to see him suffer any longer so he gets him a humidifier in hopes that it may help him. After a few days he does see an improvement, it's not much but he notices how he's getting out of bed more and staying up longer. Dean's even been able to take a few more bites at meal time and it makes him happy. Each bite counts and so does every breath. 

"I feel like someone cursed me." Dean sighs, picking at his soggy waffle at the table. "Do you believe in that?"

Castiel peeks up from the newspaper he's reading, "Like witchcraft?" he squints and Dean nods. "Who would even curse you?" he says and focuses on his newspaper.

Dean pushes his plate away. "Dunno, Meg?" he says, half joking. Castiel looks at him as if he's thinking about that being a possibility. "How well do you even know her?" 

"We'll sage the house." Castiel clears his throat, "Just in case, not that I believe In witchcraft." 

A few short days later Castiel is opening up his online order from some mystical shop he found while he and Dean had been browsing the internet searching for something to cleanse the house. The package came in a small white box, inside there were two items. The carefully tissue wrapped sage they actually ordered and something else. _A gift._ "There' something else in here-" Dean picked up the second tissue wrapped item to find a small sample size bottle of oil. It was blue- _Tranquility oil_ the sticker read. Dean put it down and picked up the sage to examine it. "Think this will work?" he asked, taking a whiff of the white and green herbs. 

Castiel pushed his black rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose, "We'll see." He could see the worried look on his face, "Hey, everything's fine-" Dean comes around the table and does something he hasn't done in _years-_ he sits lightly on his leg as if he were a little child. "Look at me, you're going to be fine-" Dean looks at him, his eyes convey a look that doesn't believe him for a second. Castiel pulls him in closer, giving him a soft kiss. When Dean doesn't pull away like he had been lately, he presses another kiss. 

Dean licks his bottom lip- Castiel goes in for a third kiss. This time he moans against the teenagers mouth, his lips felt extra soft today. "I love you-" he moaned again, Dean kissing back, his hand threading through his hair felt amazing- it sent jolts of electricity up and down his spine. It feels like forever since they've...

"Dean-" Castiel groaned, he pulls away to look at his young face. There's no hesitation so he proceeds, he pulls Dean's shirt off his thin body- his eyes don't dare scan the pale freckled skin. He knows it makes him feel uncomfortable to be looked at too closely. "I need you-" he almost cries as he kisses the soft skin of his shoulders.

"I-I need you too." Dean shivers, "It's just-hard to-" Castiel hushes him, tells him it's okay and that he understands. Dean's just relieved he understands and that he's not mad about the lack of sex these days. His neck is being kissed and licked at which feels amazing but his brain is worrying over a nagging thought he can't make go away, he speaks up- "Would you find someone else, if I couldn't- anymore?" his eyes scan down to the tent in his scrub pants.

His strong hands card through his short brown hair as if to comfort his boy. "Of course not. Why would you ask me that?" 

Dean sighs, "Because I'm always friggin' tired. You're gonna-" Castiel doesn't respond, just kisses him sweetly for a few minutes. He pulls away breathless, "I believe you." he smiles and out of nowhere it's replaced by a childish pout and it's the kind of pout Dean makes when he's about to unleash the waterworks. His bare shoulders start to shake and his face falls to rest on Castiel's clothed chest. 

"Dean-" he whispers against brown hair.

"I just hate feeling like this-" he cries, his breath hitching after each sob. "I can't do this anymore-" 

Castiel doesn't worry, he knows what he means. He knows their relationship isn't threatened. "We'll figure this out. You're okay." he rubs up and down his back, "It's been a month, We'll get some more blood work done and see where you are."

Dean sighed as if he just hadn't broken down in tears, he wiped his eyes and gave a weakened smile without meeting his blue eyes. "Yea, sure." That night they don't have sex yet again and that's fine with Castiel, he takes the time to watch a movie with his love even though he worked that day and is exhausted. His eyelids threaten to close as they watch a movie in their bed but he forces them open. He needs to spend time with Dean, he holds him close as the images on the TV screen become blurred and eventually everything goes black.

When he awakens the next morning he reaches over and pulls the pillow close to his chest, his eyes open when it's the pillow and not Dean. He gets out of bed in search for him- he's outside sitting on the front steps. "What're you-" he swings open the front door and sees that Jack is standing a few feet away. "Good morning-" his tone is one of polite annoyance. "It's six in the morning, why are you here?" 

Dean looks over his shoulder, "Don't be a dick, he's my friend. I couldn't sleep so I-" Castiel rolled his eyes and shut the door on them both. "Ignore him, he's a jerk before his coffee." he smirks flirtatiously at his friend in the early morning darkness. 

"Wish you could come over." Jack bites his lip as he kicks lightly at the ground. He came over around four in the morning when Dean texted him with the news of his current insomnia. He'd rushed over wearing his blue flannel pajama pants and a white shirt. 

Dean smiled, "What would we do? at your place-" he knows he might be flirting with his friend but he didn't really care. He takes what he can get, if something or _someone_ makes him forget his problems even just for a moment he will run with it. 

"Um-" Jack contemplates, "Play games? I have a lot-"

Dean stands up, "Or you can come inside?" he gestures behind him. "Cas will freak but-" he whispers, "I know you don't have cooties." Jack looks around nervously, it wouldn't be a big deal but with everything going on lately, they're not supposed to hang out too close. "Lemme go inside, I'll open my window." he winks.

"I'm sneaking in?" 

"Yea-" Dean goes inside without saying anything else, Jack carefully makes his way around the house- he doesn't know which window leads to Dean's bedroom but before he can panic a window opens up and he inches closer to it. "Come on-" Dean stretches a hand out to help him. "Be quiet, Cas is getting ready for work-"

Jack nods, Once inside he looks around the boring and bare bedroom of his friend Dean Winchester. The walls are a pale beige color, there's a Batman poster on the wall next to his bed which is still broken. He never did get a new one now that he sleeps with Castiel in his bed. He notices the wooden desk in the corner, he walks closer to it and sees a small stack of books and some army men. He smiles. "Cool room." 

Dean laughs nervously, it's been a while since he's had a friend in his bedroom. He keeps forgetting to call Sam. "Bet you have stuffed animals in yours-" 

Jack blushes, "A few-" 

"Dean!" Castiel's voice roars, "I'm leaving-" Dean rushes out to say goodbye to Cas, if he didn't it would be more suspicious. "Promise me you'll eat something while I'm gone?" he says softly into Dean's ear, after he nods he says "Be good for me." he gives him one final kiss before shutting the door.

"So-" Dean says casually when he returns to Jack, "What do you wanna do?" as expected, he shrugs. "Ever smoke?" Jack shakes his head but his expression looks intrigued so he pulls out the half empty pack of menthol cigarettes he's had hidden in his desk under old school papers. "It doesn't taste good but-"

"It's okay, I want to try-" Jack takes a cigarette and inhales slowly as Dean lights it for him. It makes him cough a little bit and makes his mouth and lips feel dry. "This doesn't taste good-" 

Dean takes the cigarette from his friend and takes a drag, "No shit." he takes another drag, his eyes watching Jack closely. He says "You're kinda innocent aren't you-" and it's not a question. He passes the cigarette back to him.

"Is that bad?" Jack's voice cracks before he takes the second drag of his life. Dean takes the cigarette back between his fingers, before he can respond he says "I bet you've been with lots of girls-" 

Dean snorts, "Right-" he takes a puff. 

Jack leans in close like he's telling a secret in a crowded room, "I've never-you know."

"Had sex? Well i'd hope not given your younger than I am." His eyes get droopy now, he hadn't slept yet and the cigarette was working it's magic in making him feel relaxed. 

"I've never even kissed anyone yet-" he blushes, taking a seat on the twin bed. "I'm a loser aren't I, Dean?"

Dean blinks, "Uh no you're not." His throat suddenly feels dry and he doesn't know why that is. "Do you want some water, orange juice or something?" he clears his throat, "Are you hungry?" he changes the subject, Jack follows him to the kitchen and gladly takes the juice he's given, there indoors but they still are standing feet apart. They both secretly wish they were closer than that. They had cereal for breakfast, they talk about superheros for a while and the conversation goes back to _kissing._

"What does it feel like?" Jack asks, "To kiss a girl?"

Dean blinks, trying to recall the kisses he shared with Jo because he can't tell him what it's like to kiss step father. Or _Sam._ "Uh, it feels-" he searches his brain for the word, "Soft?"

Jack sighs longingly, "Soft?" he groans like a child, "I'm never gonna kiss a girl. I don't know any girls yet."

Dean laughs awkwardly, "I don't know any either, the last girl I kissed was my only-"

Jack blushes, his cheeks were a pale pink color and so were his ears. "Is it weird that I want to kiss right now?"

Dean sighs, he wants to kiss too but Castiel would kill him. He'd be dead if he found out that he allowed Jack in the house at a time like this. "Don't we all." he says shyly. "When's your baby sister due?" he changes the subject. 

The boys nose scrunches up in thought- God bless young boys who can't keep their thoughts set on one thing. "Four weeks?" 

"Send me a picture when she gets here, bet she'll be a cutie." Dean smiles genuinely, "Maybe next time, I'll sneak into your room. Your house is probably more fun." 

Jack giggles, "Yeah, I have tons of games." he stands up, "I should go, do you want to come over tomorrow? Mom sleeps a lot so she won't know you're there but we have to keep it down-"

"Sure-" he walks his younger friend to the front door and before he says goodbye Jack hugs him, to his surprise he melts into it and sighs. "Thanks for coming over."

"I couldn't sleep either." Jack shrugs, waving at him from up close before he leaves. Dean shuts the door and leans against it. When Castiel comes home that night, Dean is frisky. For the first time in weeks he's all over him.

"Whats gotten into you?" Castiel moans as the teenager kisses his neck as soon as he waked through the front door, "Are you feeling better?" 

Dean ignores him- because no he doesn't feel _better_ but for the first time he doesn't feel like he's about to black out just by walking down the hallway. "Miss you-" he mumbles, sucking on the tight flesh of his step fathers neck- leaving a purple bruise there. His coworkers will ask _who_ gave it to him, he's sure of it but he doesn't care. He can lie and say some chick gave it to him. He pulls away- "You wanna?" he looks him up and down with one hand sneaking it's way down his scrub pants.

Castiel groans, it's been a long while since he's had sex- all he can do is nod. He's got no words for Dean tonight. They go to their bedroom, he lets the teenager undress him- it doesn't take very long before they're both nude. Dean's face is a pale shade of pink and so are his shoulders- he leans back in bed until his head hits the pillow. "I love you." he whispers, his eyes darting down over his own naked body like he's forgotten that he isn't a virgin.

"Are you okay?" he asks, spreading Dean's legs open so he can move between them. Dean quickly nods his response and he proceeds, kissing every inch of his ever so thick thighs- he does it because it makes Dean whimper in the sweetest way. Castiel doesn't stop there, he presses soft kisses near his still pink hole, giving it a lick and waits for the reaction. As expected, Dean whines- his fingers tugging his dark hair. He continues lapping at the pink skin for a few minutes until it starts twitching. "Ready?" 

"Yea." Dean hooks his arms under his knees and brings them up, exposing more of himself. He lets his head rest firmly on the pillow and shuts his eyes, expecting pain. He was right. It _hurts._ It _burns._ Dean hisses in pain, "F-uck-" sucking in a breath. "Friggin' hurts-" Castiel pushes halfway inside, "Cas-"

"Should I stop?" he asks his boy, thrusting slowly and gently-careful not to push in all the way. He's pushing in when suddenly Dean gasps in pain before a smile appears on his lips and he knows he hit the spot. "Dean?" he smiles.

"Keep going, m-fine." Dean sighs, "I always forget how big you are-" Castiel pushes in all the way a little rougher than he meant to, making the teen groan loudly. "Fucking hell-careful-" They make love slowly for about an hour and a half, Castiel alternating from pounding his boy to slow and deep thrusts. Dean's a mess by the end of it after being made to come twice. 

"Was that okay?" Castiel asks him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. No response- Dean had fallen asleep quickly after the second orgasm and he felt a tinge of guilt at not having noticed. 

In the morning before he got out of bed for work he nudges Dean awake, "Dean." he tries again after a few seconds, "Dean, wake up." 

"What." Dean mumbles, his eyes still closed. 

Guilt rises, "Do we have to talk about last night? I hope I wasn't too rough with you-"

"M'not a girl, Cas." He yawns, turning over to face him though his eyes don't open yet. "Nothin' to talk about. Go to work, make us some money." He opens one eye, a smile on his face. "Cause that clunker you got me needs a new transmission." 

The guilt in his chest fades after seeing his smile, "I love you." Castiel whispers in the darkness of the room, "I'll be home early tonight, I promise. We'll have dinner and watch a movie-I-I miss you." Castiel almost wants to cry but he keeps it together, "So much. I hope you know that, don't you?"

Dean looks up at him, "Think so-" they kiss for a few seconds, "Just wish you weren't at the hospital so much." 

"When everything calms down, my schedule will go back to four days a week." he smiles sadly, knowing it won't be anytime soon. "Eat something." he gives Dean one more quick kiss before getting out of bed to get ready for his day ahead. They both already know he won't be home early and that his promise will be broken. 


	29. Don't you cry no more

Dean's eating chips on the living room sofa when there's a knock at the door and instantly he thinks it's weird, it's around the time Castiel comes home from the hospital but why would he knock. He has a key. He sets the bag of chips on the coffee table and gets up to get the door.

His blood pressure drops when he sees the man standing at the door. His _Father_ , John. It's been years, he almost doesn't feel like it's his blood standing in the doorway.

"Yea?" is all he can say, as if this man is a complete stranger. "What do you want?" 

John smirks, he knows he's handsome. "Dean, you've grown." he wipes his boots on the Welcome mat before stepping inside, past his son. "House looks good-" he says. He's wearing that same old leather jacket. "How you been? Cas still here?" he's looking into the living room then into the kitchen. Dean doesn't like it one bit, it's not his house anymore. 

"He's still here. He's working right now-" he gulps, "He'll be home any minute." 

John shoves his hands into his jeans pocket, he eyes Dean. Studies him carefully. _He knows..._ "Cas got another man livin' here now?"

"It's just us." Dean clears his throat, unsure of what to do. He feels naked- he's standing in front of the father he hasn't seen in years wearing black briefs that are way too tight for him and he's shirtless. He hadn't expected _this._

John suddenly laughs, "My God-" he steps uncomfortably close to his son. "You're sleeping with him, aren't you-" but it's not a question. He already knows. 

Dean steps back, "I'm not gay." 

"You don't need to be gay to have sex with men." John runs a hand over his mouth as he walks passed his son to his old bedroom, he begins looking around- "Only here because I forgot something." he opens a drawer, "Seen my wedding ring by any chance? Need some cash." 

Dean gulps again, he hopes his father won't open the closet door. _Too late._

"This your room now?" he says casually, seeing clothes in the closet he knows aren't Castiel's. Then, he sees it- Castiel's winter coat in the midst of his son's clothing. "You're sharing the room?" his father actually looks confused, his jealous suspicious turned out to be true. "He's fucking you?" his voice angry enough to make his son flinch at the tone.

"No-he-he-" Dean can't find the words, he's back to being a little boy whose afraid of his father. Castiel promised him he'd never come back- that he'd be safe. John stomps towards the night stand and opens it. "Don't!" 

John pulls out an open box of condoms and lube- "He's fucking you." 

Tears spill down Dean's cheeks, "He has a boyfriend, he- comes over sometimes." is all he can say before the front door slams and he knows he's safe now. "Cas!" Dean screams urgently. Relief floods him when he hears footsteps rushing over. "Cas!"

The look on Castiel's face when he sees his father is indescribable, "John." he says coldly, "Why are you here?"

John laughs, "Have you seen my wedding ring?" 

Castiel blinks and nods, he reaches for a small box in the nightstand that contains the gold wedding band. "Now go." he hands the ring over. "I don't want to see you here again, the house is under my name now." 

John smirks, "Figures, I was just renting the place. Well enjoy my house." he walks passed Castiel and stops to mutter in his ear, "Enjoy my son too."

Castiel flinches, both he and Dean stay frozen in place until the front door slams shut and Dean breaks down in tears. "You're okay-" he pulls him close, kissing the top of his head. "Did he hurt you?" Dean shakes his head, unable to stop crying. "Get in bed, I'll be back." he leaves the shaking teen alone for a few minutes, Dean assumes he went to lock the front door. When Castiel comes back, he's shirtless and wearing sweats- it looks like he took a quick shower.

"It's a good thing I came home when I did-" he gets into bed next to his love, Dean turns over- facing away from him. "Dean, please-"

"You should've been here. You promised." When Castiel's hand ghosts over his shoulder he pushes it away and gets out of bed, "I'm sleeping in my room tonight. I-I need to be alone." he takes his pillow with him as he stomps out of the room. Castiel says nothing, he knows better than to upset him further. There's nothing more he wants right now that to be there for him but he knows Dean will come to him when he's ready. 

Dean spends an hour laying in his uncomfortable twin bed that needs replacing until he pulls out his phone, quickly typing out a message to Jack- asking if he could sleep over. It's passed midnight by now but he's got a hunch that his young friend is wide awake and when his phone pings with a reply he smiles. He dials Jack- "Can I come over?" he asks as soon as a small voice says hello on the other end of the line.

"Now?" Jack yawns.

"Cas and I-we- I just don't want to be home right now-" he rushes the words, when his friend says yes he hangs up and only takes his pillow with him. He remembers to lock his bedroom door before sneaking out the window in case Castiel comes to check on him- when he finds the door is locked he will assume he's still mad at him. As he crosses the dark street to Jacks house he finds him standing by the front door waiting for him. "Hey-" 

Jack smiles, "Hurry- my mom's asleep but she could wake up. She goes to the bathroom every half hour." Dean laughs and walks through the front door, following his friend to his bedroom and it's exactly as he expected. There's toys everywhere. Except Jack calls them action figures but in reality they are toys. "Do you want to sleep in my bed? It's big enough-"

Dean clears his throat, his bed was in fact big enough for the both of them so he nods. "Yea, sure." he climbs into bed next to the young teen. "Sorry for the last minute sleep over-"

Jack shrugs, "I was up anyway-" he yawns. "I'm actually getting tired now-"

His eyes flutter in the darkness and shut without saying goodnight, it makes Dean smile. "Night buddy." he says anyway before closing his eyes too. They sleep peacefully for a few hours until Jack notices Dean is mumbling in his sleep, he listens for a while until he grows more and more distressed that he nudges him awake gently.

"Dean-" he shakes him gently, "You okay?" 

Dean's mumbling "Not again, please-" his brow furrows in fear and anger, "Stop it!" he hisses in a loud whisper but he jolts awake. When he regains his breath and sees Jack staring at him like he sprouted horns from his head he asks, "Why are you watching me sleep?"

"Was there someone hurting you in your dream?" Jack snuggles into Dean, "You scared me." his fingers form fists at his chest.

Dean swallows, it's too close for comfort but he doesn't mind, "Sorry, I was dreaming about my dad-I think." he uncomfortably wraps an arm around the younger boy. "Go back to sleep, m'fine now." Jack nods before drifting off to dream land once again. This time they both sleep well into morning.

"Mm-" Jack mumbles in his sleep, it stirs Dean awake - for a moment he forgets whose bed he's in. When he opens his eyes he sees the boy in his arms.

"Morning-" Dean mumbles, casually pulling away slowly. "Better get back before Cas finds out I'm gone." he swallows, looking over at the digital alarm clock on Jacks dresser. It was just before sunrise. "I'll call you?" His friend nods sleepily. 

Dean shoves his feet into his slippers and grabs his pillow before heading out the front door until a soft female voice gets in the way of his escape, "Excuse me-" Dean turns around, wide eyed. "Are you the boy who lives next door?" Kelly asks.

"Yea-" he stretches out his hand to shake hers- "Dean. Sorry I slept over-"

Kelly smiles, her hand is placed on her belly when she feels a kick- "Dean, come feel-" Dean hesitates but decides there's no harm in humoring her- he doubts he'll actually feel the baby kicking in there. He feels around her baby bump until he feels the kick.

"That's crazy." is all he can say, huffing a laugh. "But I better go." Kelly smiles and hands him a blueberry muffin before he leaves. Dean rushes across the street with his pillow under his arm when Castiel steps out of his car- _shit._

"Where were you?" Castiel crosses his arms, already dressed for work- Black scrubs today. _Nice._

"Jacks." Dean looks down at his slippers, "You gonna punish me?" 

Castiel snorts, "Since when do I punish you? You run around like you have no parents-" his sentence dies down once he realizes what he just said but it's too late. The look on the teens face says it all- It was clearly the wrong comment to make. "I didn't mean-"

"Yea-" Dean walks sadly back into the home they shared and Castiel went to work. Another long day at the hospital. Later that day Dean awakens from his nap, he's walking down to the mailbox when he sees Jack across the street sitting on his front steps- he waves but he's ignored. Suddenly worry overwhelms him as he thinks maybe he's mad at him for leaving before he woke up so he makes his way over. "Hey-" he says, noticing that his young friend is crying. "What's wrong?" 

Jack wipes his face, looking up at him- "My baby sister-" he cries harder, Dean takes a seat next to him on the front steps and wraps an arm around him. "I had to call an ambulance. She was in a lot of pain last night-"

Dean squeezes him, pulls him close. "Buddy, It's okay-" Jack looks into his eyes and he can't help but lean in close and press his lips against those of his friend. Before he realizes what he's done he pulls away and whispers, "Your sister's gonna be fine, they both are." Jack nods, still looking up at him so he decides to give him another kiss. It's soft and sweet and short. No heat, no passion- just comfort. "Are you gonna be alright by yourself?"

"I'll be okay." Jack hugs himself, "But I'm scared-"

"Whatever happens, you call me alright?" he runs his fingers through his friends short hair, "I'll come running." After a few moments they part ways again, Dean wishes he could stay longer but he knows Castiel will be home soon. When the front door slams shut it startles him, he looks over at the clock on the wall and it's barely six in the evening- he's home early. "Cas?" he gets up-

"How are you feeling?" Castiel asks him as he kicks off his shoes- he takes a look at him as he sits on the sofa before making his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink. "You eat something?" he calls from the other room.

"I'm fine-" he pads to the kitchen doorway, watching Castiel make a sandwich. "Yea, I made soup." Dean sighs and suddenly he's overcome with emotion- the tears are coming. He's tired- tired of _everything._ "Cas-" he covers his face like he always does when he cries. "I-" 

Castiel's strong arms wrap around him in no time- his sandwich forgotten on the table. He walks Dean to the bathroom and helps him into the shower after undressing him. The water falls over Dean's face but he knows the teenager is still crying. "You're safe." he reassures him while he runs soapy hands over the tight flesh. It's not long before Dean stops crying- he's hard and Castiel notices. "Dean-" Dean backs up against the tiled wall of the shower and he knows what it means. Dean wants him to get in and so he does, right after undressing as quickly as he can.

When he steps in- the water makes him shudder, it's colder that he thought but it doesn't wear away their erections. Dean licks his parted lips before Castiel devours his open mouth in a sloppy and deep kiss. Dean whimpers and he groans- his hand wraps around Dean's cock and he pumps. Dean wraps his arms around Castiel just so he has something to hold onto as he gets jerked off by the ever so experienced hand that knows just how to make him come.

"Ugh-" Dean's head falls against his chest, his orgasm is building- "Shit-" 

"Let it go, Dean-" Castiel whispers into his ear, "Just let it go-" and Dean comes, hard- it's not long before he's crying yet again. He runs his hand up and down his back, "Let it out-" he has to hold him up so he doesn't fall to his knees, he finishes rinsing the boy off and carries him to bed- luckily he's strong enough to do so but even then, Dean doesn't weigh as much as he should. "Comfortable?" he asks, after Dean's in bed- wearing only Castiel's boxers and one of his old shirts that fits him rather large. Wearing his clothes comforts him.

"Yea, Cas." Dean says, his tone is one of annoyance. He knows not to take it personally, he's just trying to save face for crying. Castiel is about to head out to the kitchen to go grab that sandwich he never did get to eat when Dean grabs his wrist- "Stay?" 

Castiel leans down to kiss his wet hair, "I'm coming right back, I haven't eaten yet-" Dean nods and waits for him to come back. When he does, he's got his sandwich and a soda, and a mug of Chamomile tea for Dean. "This might help you relax."

Dean takes the mug and blows on it before taking a sip- "Thanks-" his eyes tear up again, "Sorry I'm such a friggin' burden." and chugs the tea as quick as he can while Castiel plops down next to him and eats. "Wish I could eat more-I just- I'm fucking suffocating, Cas." Dean confesses for the first time, "I can't fucking breathe. I don't know if I'm sick or if it's all just in my head." Dean sets the empty mug down on the nightstand next to him, "I-I feel like nothing's real-"

Castiel swallows the last bite of his sandwich, his eyes studying the teenager in confusion but most of all- _worry._ "What do you mean, nothing's real?" 

Dean shivers, "I-I feel like, ugh-" he runs a hand down his face in frustration, "I feel like I-I'm not... _here._ "

Castiel gulps, "Are you telling me you want to kill yourself?" he didn't want to ask the question but he's seen the faded scars on Dean's arm before. "Tell me everything-"

Dean lays back, his head resting on the pillow as he continues to confess- "I don't know-I just feel like everything around me looks weird." he bites his lip nervously, "Nothing looks or feels the same since-I took you to the hospital. Remember?"

He nods, "Dean, I was alright. I was really stressed with work and you-you were difficult at the time."

"I was fine, then I felt like I was falling-" Dean closes his eyes, a tear rolls down the side of his face anyway. "I fell and I never got up." 

"I'm trying to understand-" Castiel says, he lays on his side, facing Dean as he listens. "But-"

"I'm fucking suffocating!" Dean screams and jumps out of bed, "I just can't take it anymore!" he storms out of the room, ignoring Castiel's calls for him to come back. He locks himself in the bathroom, "Leave me alone!"

Castiel bangs on the door, "Dean, please-" he tries to remain calm, he's not angry- he's worried. "I don't want you to be alone right now. I'm afraid of what you might-"

"Think I'm gonna hurt myself?" Dean says softly against the door, "You have no idea how bad I want to hurt-how bad I want-" his voice dies down.

"Dean, open the door-" he urges.

"I can't do this anymore!" he yells, kicking the door like he used to when he was eight years old. "I'm not okay..." 

Castiel's eyes begin to water as he notices the tone of his voice now, "Dean, don't leave me." he begs just above a whisper. "You don't know how much I need you-" The door unlocks and he waits one full minute before opening the door slowly- afraid of what he might find. He's relieved when all he sees is Dean- sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He's not crying, he just looks- _done._

"I'm sorry, Cas." is all he says, before the tears come again and he covers his face with his hands. Castiel helps him into bed yet again, this time they don't speak- he just holds Dean until he's fast asleep and hopes the days ahead will be easier ones to come.

As all of this was taking place, Dean had missed all of five phone calls that came through, from Jack. Kelly had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was seven pounds, eight ounces and her name was _Eve._


	30. Red Love

Jack shows up at the Winchester house around noon- making sure Castiel had already left for the day. Though this time when he opened the door Jack looked excited, giddy almost. "What's up?" Dean smiles, amused by his young friend. "Win the lotto?" 

"She's here!" Jack covered his mouth, "My baby sister." 

Dean let his friend in, after taking a seat on the sofa his friend gushes- "She's so cute, I wish you could see her but my mom says she's too little for visitors." 

"Yea, I get that-" Dean swallows, suddenly remembering that he has kissed Jack. There's a tornado of bats and butterflies in his stomach- butterflies for Jack, bats for Castiel. "Listen, about that kiss-" he rubs the back of his neck nervously. "I didn't-" The younger teen leans forward and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Dean's mouth, he'd been aiming for his lips but missed. "We can't be doin' that-"

Jack looks instantly hurt, all excitement gone from his face. "But you kissed me first-" 

He swallows again, "Yea, I know that but-"

Jack shrugs, "It's okay, I understand. I'm ugly right?"

Dean snorts, "Listen, buddy. You are everything but ugly. I just, can't." he wishes he _could_ though. He really wishes he could...but _Cas._ "Trust me, if-" he stops himself, sighing. 

"If what?" 

The look on his friends face makes him want to risk it all, he would love to be with someone his own age for once. Jack's obviously interested, but Castiel. He loves him, how would anything work out if they weren't together. All he knows is being with Castiel, he's his step-father and _lover._ Dean's often wondered about this, would he stick around if they weren't _T_ _ogether_. it's a stupid thought and he knows this because they've been apart romantically and Castiel stayed- but he never did stop pining for him, Castiel had been miserable.

"Kinda have somethin' going with someone-" Dean clears his throat, "Older." he says it and looks at the young face sitting next to him, analyzing it to see if he can trust him with such a big secret. Can't have him running off to tell mommy that Dean's step daddy bones him on the regular. He's almost legal...but still. He's Seventeen.

"Oh-" his eyebrows knit together as he thinks, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Dean thinks it over and no, not really. Castiel isn't his _boyfriend-_ They never talked about titles. They just began fucking one day- they say they love each other but they aren't _boyfriends._ That realization makes him sad, he's never had a boyfriend before. _Just Cas._ "No, but-"

"I can be your boyfriend-" Jack blushes, scooting over closer to Dean. 

Dean looks at the shortening distance between them on the sofa and it makes him feel warm- he wants Jack to be his boyfriend. He doesn't say anything but when Jack asks if he can kiss him again he nods quickly- the bats in his stomach are ripping the butterflies to shreds. After a few innocent kisses he pulls away, panting- "You can't tell anybody were boyfriends. Promise me." 

"Okay, Dean." They make out innocently on the sofa for maybe an hour, innocent touches- both teenagers aren't sure where to touch or where to kiss. With Castiel, he's always been the leader, most of the time he just lay there taking what he'd been given. But this- this was an equal playing field. Almost- Dean was older, it thrilled him. Someone who looked up to _him,_ someone _he_ could take care of. It should be a nice change. 

When Dean started kissing Jack's neck, he whimpered- it was such a pretty whimper that Dean moaned in response. It egged him on- his nervous hand went down to palm the younger boys crotch over his jeans when he was stopped- "I'm scared." 

His face showed it, "I'm sorry, I'll stop." 

Jack nodded in fear, "Sex scares me-" 

Dean smiled at his innocence, there was a time sex scared him too- mostly because he knew he'd be on the receiving end. "We don't have to have sex, m'good with just kissing." he reassured him by kissing him once more. "It's nice, to just- kiss."

"Is that what you and the older guy do?" he looks at his friend, all messy hair, baby cheeks and pink lips. "God, no." he laughs, "He fucks me." 

Jack gasps, "Does it hurt?" he whispers, this kind of conversation is all new to him.

"Like hell." Dean laughs again, amused by his own pain. "It's like- a metal pipe ramming you in the ass." 

"Gross." 

Dean smiles, "Sometimes it feels good." he already knew he was hard but he could see Jack was too. No way he was going there. "Anyways, your sister. What's her name?"

"Eve." Jack sits up and straightens up his hair and shirt so Kelly doesn't ask any questions, but of course he didn't realize that Dean left him a little present on the side of his neck- near his ear. Both teenagers didn't notice it but Kelly would see it that night.

"Too bad your name isn't Adam, you'd be Adam and Eve."

Jack sniffles, "I had a baby brother named Adam, before Eve- but he didn't make it. Adam died in my moms tummy, that's why I was so scared when my mom was in so much pain-" Dean doesn't know what to say, so he just pulls him close and holds him for a few minutes- it wasn't long before Kelly called him to come home for dinner. 

When Castiel comes home from work, the front door slams shut louder than usual and it startles him. Castiel takes one look at him laying on the sofa, eating ice-cream and gives him a dirty look. Dean gives him one right back. "The fuck is wrong with you-" he mumbles, getting up to follow the grumpy man to the bedroom. "Well?"

Castiel takes off his scrubs and throws them on the bed in some kind of adult tantrum, Dean would laugh if Castiel wasn't so scary in the rare times he got pissed off. "You're whats wrong with me." he grumbles. 

"Me?!" Dean practically shrieks, "The fuck did I do?" His brain goes into over drive, as it works to figure out what he could have possibly done wrong.

"You and that neighbor kid-" he snaps his fingers as he tries to recall his name, "Jack." Dean's still confused, "His mother calls me before I left work, saying you gave her son a hicky-" Dean gulps, _shit._ "I told her that's impossible but she insists that you gave it to him, told me you're the only person he knows in the neighborhood-"

"Cas, I can explain-" Dean steps closer, feeling suddenly needy- "Cas-" Castiel pulls away, "Cas, please-"

"We're done." Castiel bites out, "Tomorrow I have the day off and I'm getting you a new bed so you can sleep in your room." with that Castiel locks himself in the bathroom, then the water for the shower turns on.

Dean sits on the edge of the bed, not knowing how to feel- he feels horrible but a part of him is excited to be with Jack. "Everything's fucked up-" he sighs out loud to the empty bedroom. 

By the time the shower turns off, Dean's in his bedroom- his clothes no longer hang in the closet and it makes Castiel's heart ache. Castiel is angry, but he knows he will eventually let Dean move back into their room, but what he doesn't know is that Dean's a little bit more involved with Jack that Kelly led him to believe. She made it seem like two curious kids who kissed for the first time to practice on each other.

Castiel knocks on Dean's door, "Are you going to eat?" he asks, his voice has a bite to it and it _burns._

"Yea." Dean says, like he might get spanked if he says anything else. 

"Don't stay up to late." is all Castiel says before closing the door behind him, this sucks. He wakes up pretty late the next day and Castiel's room is empty, he guesses that he's already gone to get him that new bed- but he hears something in the living room. _Someone..._

He rounds the corner to the living room and catches a glimpse of that worn leather jacket. _John._ Dean thinks he can make it out the front door so he makes a quick run for it but John sees him and pulls him back before he can open the door. "Where you goin', hm?" John says in his ear and it makes him cringe. Memories that had been dormant for years come flooding back and it makes him feel like he's Eleven again. 

"It hurts-" Dean whines, his fathers grip on his arms burn- "Stop-" he looks around the living room and sees that John was stealing Castiel's flat screen, "The fuck-"

John glances at the TV, "Needed more cash."

Dean swallows, "Charming. Still broke as ever-" he knew it was the wrong comment to make because it gets him thrown on the sofa and his hair yanked back that it makes his neck hurt. "Stop-" he breathes.

"You little shit-" he gives one last tug before letting go to slap him-his son looks at him with horror in his eyes- "You deserved that. For letting him fuck you." 

Dean rubs his cheek- it doesn't surprise him that his father hit him. It hurt him, but it didn't surprise him. He watches as his father steals their flat screen and some expensive lamp Castiel bought. Apparently it was vintage. Dean made the wrong move again by getting up because it got Dean shoved against the coffee table. His father left after taking a few more things and if he never saw him again- it'd be too soon. 

Dean can't find it in him to get up- he spends two hours leaning against the coffee table where he had been shoved, his mind unable to process seeing his father twice in such a short period of time after so many years. It's not until he sees a truck pull up outside with a logo from the local furniture store- then Castiel's car pull up behind it that he gets up off the floor, making his way to the door that was already left wide open by his father. 

Castiel takes one look at him - "What happened to you?"

Dean shrugs and did what he always did, cover for John. "Don't feel good-that my bed?" he says, looking over at the large men unloading the mattress and the frame. Dean must have not looked too roughed up because Castiel didn't fuss over him like always. Maybe he didn't love him anymore- those thoughts swirled in his mind like a whirlpool as he watched the two large men assemble his bed in his bedroom- they took his old bed away afterwards. He spent all day in his room, Castiel didn't bother him for anything, not even to eat.

Around midnight Dean left his room to make himself a snack, by surprise he found Castiel sitting at the kitchen table- "John was here, wasn't he?" 

Deans eyes began to water, "Yea, he took the TV-" he wiped his eyes, "And your stupid lamp-"

"Did he hurt you?"

Dean's tears fell, "Yea." 

Castiel wanted to comfort him, to hold him. Kiss him. But he was still angry that Dean somewhat cheated on him. "I'll take care of it, he won't be back."

Dean nodded and opened the fridge, looking inside to see what he might want to eat. "He didn't-" Dean shook his head. "Good-" Things felt weird and awkward but they both pretended everything was fine, minus the fucking- not like they had been doing it that often these days anyway. He watched Dean pour some cereal and milk into a small bowl, knowing it's the only thing he's eaten today. "I did miss you today." Castiel says reluctantly. "I still love you."

Dean sighs, taking his cereal to his room before Castiel speaks up- "Can I bring you coffee in the morning? I have the whole weekend off." 

He smiles, "Yea, okay."

In the morning, Castiel did show up with his favorite coffee and he woke him up gently. "Wake up."

Dean rolls over in his brand new bed, it was beyond comfortable. "Hey-" he mumbles, the aroma of coffee filling his lungs made him smile with his eyes still closed. For a second he forgot they were _apart,_ "Kiss me-" he mumbles, stretching his limbs. When lips don't press against his he remembers they kind of broke up, he plays it off like he said nothing. "Thanks." he takes the cup and sits up in bed. "Mm-s'good."

Castiel sees the dark bruises on Dean's arm, "Dean-" he pulls the teen up off the bed to inspect the bruises- "I didn't think he hurt you this bad-"

Dean shrugs, he's gotten used to getting hurt and abused that it doesn't phase him. If Castiel beat him up- he wouldn't care. It'd probably turn him on even though he knows it's twisted. "Looks worse that it feels." 

"About what I said-" he changes the subject suddenly, Dean's arm still in his loose grasp- "I didn't mean it. I was angry-" he looks up at his loves face and sees it, he likes Jack. "You'd rather be with him?" he asks, trying to hide the knot in his throat.

Dean looks up at him- "I still love you." 

Castiel nods his head slightly, "You want to explore being with someone your age, I understand." 

"I still need you-" he knows it selfish, to want Castiel and Jack. "I still want you-" they share a brief kiss, "I just-"

Castiel asks sadly, "Can I make love to you?" The look Dean gave him confuses him so he clarifies, "One last time."

Dean rolls his eyes, "Don't be a wuss, it's not over." he wraps his arms around the older man, "I choose you."

Castiel feels wetness on the side of his neck, "Why are you crying?" he asks, still holding the teen. 

"I'm so friggin' lonely-" he sighs, "Think Jack is lonely too, think that's why-" 

"Don't you think I'm lonely too?" Castiel pulls away, his strong big hands cupping Dean's cheeks now- "I'm just as lonely."

"We should talk more." One last tear rolls down his cheek, "Miss you so bad-"

"I need to spend more time with you, I know." he gives a kiss to the top of his head, "Come on, why don't we go for a drive." On their drive, the traffic lights pass by in a blur as Dean almost nods off in the passenger seat- when the car comes to a halt he becomes alert.

"Where are we?" he asks, looking around a lightly wooded area, "You're not gonna kill me are you-" 

Castiel snorts, "Course not." he leans over, placing a few kisses to Dean's neck. He instantly weakens into the leather seat and sighs, "You like that?" he asks, as he nibbles the smooth skin.

"Yea-" Dean swallows, "It's nice." Castiel's large hand rubs down his chest as it rises and falls gently, it hovers firmly on his crotch- rubbing. "Ugh-mm-" Dean bites his lip. "Don't stop-"

"Wasn't planning to." Castiel gently bites on his neck, Dean groans- "I need you-right here-" The teen nods and he pushes his seat backwards so hes laying down- "Come here-" Dean climbs over onto his lap, straddling him. "Fuck, I need you-"

Dean nods, sliding off his sweatpants- not at all surprised by the sight of Castiel's cock already free underneath him. "Cas-" he whines while strong hands guide him down over that familiar thickness, it pops in- it's dry and rough but he only uses two inches to fuck his boy with. "Oh God-" it burns- but it's so good. They drown in their loud groans and sweat in the small space of the car. Their skin becomes so sweaty and sticky it quickly becomes harder and harder to grind against eachother.

Dean's too tired to continue so Castiel carries him through- he holds onto him and fucks up into his ever so tight hole. "Love you-" he breathes out, he's almost _there_ and so is Dean. He knows because his breath is hitching in his throat and he's whimpering softly like he's always done when hes going to come. "Look at me-" and he does, green eyes look down into the blue abyss in his. "Tell me you love me." 

He manages to say "I-Ugh-" before he comes all over Castiel, he'd respond but his stomach and thighs are twitching and he's exhausted. He's lost any stamina he had before. "Fuck-" he sighs, totally spent against his step father. "I love you." 

Castiel kisses his temple, "I know. Got your love all over me-" Dean blushes and hides his face. 

"If you wanted to get laid we didn't have to come to the middle of nowhere." he peels himself off the body under him and slides into the passenger seat. 

"I wanted to spice things up." Castiel cleans himself off with the antibacterial wipes he now keeps in the glove compartment before cleaning Dean up- he always blushed when Castiel fussed over him like this. Like a _child._ He so badly wants to be a child again, have a do over. But it's too _late._ "You're my boy, aren't you Dean?"

He smiles shyly, "Yea, Cas." and looks around, "Nice night, wanna take a walk?" Castiel agrees and they exit, Dean rounds the car and grabs hold of his hand. "No one around." 

Castiel relaxes, holding his hand in his. They both secretly wonder, will there ever be a day they will be able to hold hands in public- during daylight hours? Like a normal couple? They both hope so.

"Cas-" he clears his throat.

"Yes?" they walk through the wooded area, the moon is up high above them- drowning them in a ghostly off white shade of light.

"I'm so glad you're here." he says, looking off in the distance. Secretly, he's thinking about the years they've spent together. Some of those years they were _apart,_ but they never were separated. Castiel pulls him in close for a quick kiss to his forehead before they continue their evening stroll- hand in hand. 

In the far distance behind them, there was another teenage boy- on his bike. That teenage boy had seen _everything._ A twinge of jealousy bubbles up in his chest and hes seeing _red_ among the trees that surround the happy mismatched couple.


	31. Sick & Tired

"Cas-" he turns over in bed and squints in the darkness to see Dean, "Cas-I don't feel good." 

Castiel sits up in bed in a hurry, "What's wrong?" he presses the back of his hand on his forehead then his cheek to feel for a fever. No fever. "You're not warm-"

"My stomach hurts-" he rubs his midsection, down low and Castiel knows instantly that it's not his appendix. Which is a relief. "I thought I had to go-but I can't."

Castiel sighs, "You've never been constipated?" the teen blushes and crawls into bed next to him, maybe he's not even sick at all- just a ploy to get back into his bed for the night. "You're staying?"

"Can I? It hurts-" he still thinks he's faking it but allows it. Before sunrise, it's confirmed that he wasn't faking after all- he awoke to an empty bed and found Dean in the bathroom. He was in the tub, just sitting there with his hand down low on his stomach.

"Still hurts?" he sits on the edge of the tub, "You need to eat more-I didn't want to say anything sooner but I've noticed you lost-" Dean moves to get up but moans in pain, "Dean, please. I know you hate when I talk about this but- you can't go on like this."

The teen splashes the water in fury, "Don't you think I want to eat!? I'm just so fucking tired!" he inhales sharply, losing his breath. "I just- can't." 

He sighs, "Well, we better figure out a way to get some calories in you. I'm-I'm worried about you."

"Shut up, Cas." he flicks soapy water at him. "Why don't you go buy me a milkshake then?" Castiel looks at him, "Go on-I want chocolate." and he goes to get that milkshake like the good step father he is. When he comes back, he's got two milkshakes in hand and finds Dean in the living room- on his phone. They still don't have a TV yet and he makes a mental note to order one as soon as possible so Dean doesn't get bored. "You're back." he says, taking the shake. "By the way, I just had eggs." that makes him smile.

"Good." Castiel sits on the sofa, relaxed. "By the way, Jack is outside-he wanted to talk to you." he says, unbothered. 

"Aren't you mad?" 

"No, I know you love me." with that, Dean gets off the sofa and goes outside to find his young friend by the mailbox. 

"Whats up?"

"Dean. I know." Jack says anxiously.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Know what?"

"I know he rapes you." he looks over at the house behind Dean. "Your step dad. I saw him-"

Dean rubs the back of his neck, "Listen, buddy. What you saw- probably looked a little weird but, he doesn't rape me." his friend yanks on his arm to prevent him from going back inside so quick, "I said he doesn't!" he screams, it takes too much out of him and he feels dizzy and out of breath. "Just go-" he rubs his chest as he walks back inside, before collapsing as soon as he walks through the front door.

"Dean!" he hears Castiel shout before he's reopening his eyes and he's suddenly tucked into Castiels bed. "Dean, you were out a while-"

"Out where?" he sits up, feeling normal-rested. "What time is it?"

"Its past midnight." Castiel wipes his face, "You slept all day. What was the last thing you remember?"

Dean's brows knit together, trying to remember. "I-" then it hits him, Jack _knew_ about _them._ "Shit. Jack saw us-"

Castiel groans, "Great, now two people know about us." he stands, pacing around the bedroom in worry. "I don't know what were going to do-" this is unlike him, he's so used to Castiel taking care of things and fixing all kinds of problems. It makes him uneasy.

"Cas-can you stop moving. You're making me sick-" he blinks his eyes several times, "Do I gotta go to the hospital?"

"Do you want to go?" Castiel sits on the edge of the bed, Dean shakes his head. "I'll call Chuck, remember him? He can stop by and start an IV for you."

"He can do that?"

He smiles, "It's called home health, Dean, and yes he can do that." 

When Chuck comes over in the morning, he shows up in casual clothing- a sweater and jeans. He's wearing a mask. "Morning Dean, feeling a little weak aren't we?" before he can even fully awaken Chuck keeps talking as he sets up everything- "That's fine, we'll take care of that right away. Cas told me you've been dizzy, I'll be putting a little Zofran in your IV-"

"Zofran?" Dean perks up and watches the nurse do his job, prepping his arm and inserting the needle- "Ow, fuck-" 

"It's for nausea-" Chuck replies, distracted as he finishes up. "This will replace any fluids you may have lost and I'll be taking some blood-" he proceeds to take a few tubes of blood from his arm and he has to blink away the dizziness. "All set, I'll take these to the hospital with me and I'll let Cas know the results."

"Am I sick? I always feel like shit-" 

"Meg said you were having panic attacks? They can be pretty brutal, especially if you aren't on any anxiety medication." he clarifies, "I'll run your labs and call Cas." he turns to leave but stops to say, "I'll bring you something to help calm you down." then he disappears.

Castiel sits next to him, "Why is everyone saying I'm having panic attacks, I'm friggin' calm!" he hisses. Dean spends the whole day in bed, hooked up to the IV. At night, Chuck comes back with what he promised him. 

"First, let me just-" he says, injecting Ativan into his IV. "You should feel relaxed soon-" 

When Dean blinks furiously and sighs heavily, he knows it did the trick. "Whas that?" he's sleepy, the kind of sleepy that feels really good. 

"A little something to help you relax-"

"Relax..." Dean giggles, "I'll still feel like death tomorrow." 

"Has he eaten anything?" he asks Castiel with a face full of concern, "He looks-thinner than the last time I saw him." his voice turns to a whisper. "You need to do something about this. Listen, I got his lab results and everything is normal. No anemia, his vitamin levels are higher than last time-he, he should be feeling better."

"Don't say it-" Castiel pleads.

"Maybe he's got an eating disorder." Chuck starts packing up his things, they both watch Dean sleep for a while as they discuss the teenager. "You need to get him help. Anorexia- can lead to some very nasty things. His heart-"

"You can go now, thank you for coming." Castiel can't hear it anymore, he can't accept it.

Chuck nods, throwing his medical bag over his shoulder. "I'll come back, check his vitals and remove the IV. And Cas, please. Get him to eat something. Anything-" he says before he shows himself out of the home. 

Dean wakes up shortly after the nurse left and Castiel is shoving a bowl of ice cream in his face before he's fully blinked the sleep from his eyes, "Thanks." he takes it, not bothering to ask why he's being given ice cream so late at night. "I like ice cream-" he says, still loopy. "I like you too Cas." his eyes are closed as he shoves spoonful after spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and Castiel wants to scream and cry at the same time. When he's done he opens his eyes, "Quit starin' at me like that-you freak."

Castiel doesn't take it personally, "You worry me, Dean." 

He rolls his eyes, "How many times do I have to say I'm friggin' fine. Next time you ask, I'm punching you." he squirms a little, the cramp in his stomach continues to bother him. It comes and goes. "Can you help me?" he asks, suddenly shy. "I gotta go-" he looks at the bedroom door. Castiel nods he helps him to the bathroom, making sure the IV lines don't get tangled up as he does his business. He sees that Dean's eyes are turning pink with threatening tears but he doesn't say anything. 

After helping him get back in bed he kisses his temple, "Feel better?" it's a stupid thing to ask, the teen forces a smile and nods. He doesn't want to break Castiel's heart because _no_ he doesn't feel better. He feels like death is an inch away and he doesn't know why- he's healthy. His lab results prove he's healthy. It scares him that this might just all be in his _head._ He won't tell him that he wishes he had _something_ , something that could be treated.

"Cas-" Dean coughs, "You wanna bring me the chocolate that's in the fridge?"

Castiel smiles, "Sure, Dean. Anything you eat makes me happy, I just want you to try." Dean nods. They eat chocolate in bed and talk like two small boys on Halloween night as they dig into their candy. It's refreshing to see Castiel this way- he's usually a very serious man. "I like this-" Dean runs his fingertips over the fine lines that form at the corners of his eyes when he smiles big and wide. 

"I'm getting old-" Castiel kisses the hand that's tracing his crows feet and sets it down on his lap, "You're still so young-"

"Oh, stop." The teen smiles, "You're still sexy." When the older man looks at him, he winks. 

Castiel kisses him on the lips once, suddenly taking into account how cold his hand was. Instead of worrying, or annoying Dean with his concerns he pulls him in close to warm him up- being mindful of the IV lines.

"Cas. You know I love you, don't you?" He says unsurely. Dean feels Castiel nod against him and he continues, "I'm grateful for everything you've done for me-"

"Why are you saying this?" Castiel swallows over the knot in his throat."Why now?"

Dean shivers and Castiel holds him tighter, "Just thinking about a lot of things." He feels lips press to his temple and he closes his eyes. "I mean it, I love you."

"I love you too, Dean. I always have."

Dean squeezes his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling and tries his best to keep from shaking. It feels like hes saying goodbye. Hes afraid that hes dying despite his test results saying hes completely fine. After a few hours, he awoke and the lamp on the nightstand was on- he looks over and sees Castiel looking through his family photo album. It confused him, but the fact that he didn't remember falling asleep confused him more. "Cas?"

Castiel looks at him, his eyes look extremely tired behind those black rimmed glasses, "Look." he pulls him into his arms so he can see the open photo album, "You're so cute-" he says, pointing to some of his baby pictures and some from around the age he came into the picture. "You grew up so fast-" he sighs.

Dean turns the page, not wanting to see himself as a child. He stops on a page of him and his uncle Bobby. Before Castiel can ask him who that bearded man holding him on his lap is he volunteers the information, "This is my uncle bobby-" he smiles faintly, tears welling up in his eyes but not falling. "He was really good to me, dad used to take me to see him all the time-" 

"How long has it been?" 

"Years." Dean sniffles, "I hope he's doin' alright, he lives all by himself in this huge farm house."

"Would you like to see him?" Castiel presses a kiss to his head, "I can take you next weekend." 

Dean nods, "Yea, I'd love to see bobby again."


	32. Weekend at Bobby's

Castiel kept his promise, Bobby lives a few hours away so they decided to make a road trip out of the visit and stay the whole weekend. Castiel called bobby, explained the whole situation and Bobby couldn't be happier to have them over for a few days. Bobby missed Dean to hell- like the son he never had but wishes he did. Dean doesn't remember, but John used to drop him off for days at a time when he was a mere toddler whenever he and Mary got into a fight, said they needed time alone to work on things but it was code for sex and nothing ever got resolved.

"Ready?" Castiel loads up their things and a small cooler with a few sandwiches and some chips and snacks for the road. It's over eighty degrees and Dean steps out of the house wearing a thick hoodie-"Seriously?" He doesn't say anything just gets into the passenger side and buckles in, only he knew that he's wearing such a thick hoodie in hopes that Bobby won't notice he's pretty thin- last time Bobby saw him he had baby cheeks and a little tummy that poked out of his shirt when he ran around the yard.

Castiel pulls out of the driveway and Dean waves to his friend Jack who was sitting outside on the porch with his mother and baby sister. "Thanks for doing this, Cas." Dean says after an hour on the road, the sun is beginning to set over the horizon. Two more hours to go.

"Of course. Dean-" Castiel starts, "Since we're staying with your uncle- we won't be able to share a room. You know that, don't you?"

Dean turns to look at him, "I figured." is all he says. The sun lowers even more over the horizon, he takes out his phone and takes a few pictures of the beautiful fiery blood orange sky and then he takes a picture of his step father-he looks so handsome in his navy blue polo shirt and hair messy off to the side. "Can't believe this is our first trip together-" 

Castiel looks pensive for a moment, "You're right. We should do this more often-you know what, every few months- we'll come visit."

Dean smiles, "Awesome." With only half an hour to go before they reach their destination, Castiel pulls into a gas station for some fuel- he leaves the sleeping teen alone in the car while he goes inside to use the restroom and pay to fill up the tank. No one else is in the store so he takes his time looking around at the different snacks there are- Dean did manage to polish off all the chips so he picks up another large bag and two bottles of water. He's about done swiping his debit card when Dean comes into the store -"You okay?" he asks as the clerk puts everything in a thin plastic bag.

Dean nods and rushes to the restroom, he follows him- "Dean, everything okay?" he steps inside with him.

"Had to go-" Dean stands against the urinal- Castiel watches him pee. "Cas, you're making this hard. Don't look-"

Castiel laughs, "Don't be shy, go." the teen can't hold it in anymore so he goes, "You're turning me on-" he kisses Dean's ear softly as he stands behind him, hands on his sides- "I'd fuck you right here-" it makes him blush and he makes quick work of zipping up his fly when he's done.

"That guy out there-he'll figure out were messin' around in here-"

"You're probably right, lets get going. It's late and your uncle's expecting us." It amazed him how quickly Castiel could change from hungry wolf to responsible adult. The last half hour of the trip was spent on a single dirt road, passing fields of grass and nothingness until they reached thick trees on either side and Dean knew they were close.

"Were almost there, just up ahead-" and there it is, the large farmhouse that sits alone in the middle of an even larger plot of land- it's seen better days. "God, I missed this freaking place."

Castiel can't help but love the smile on his face- he looks younger than usual. By now he's taken off that large hoodie and steps out of the car wearing jeans and an old Metallica shirt that belongs to his dad. He doesn't know why he still wears his old clothes.

"Cas, come on- get the bags later." He follows the teen walk up to the house, they're close enough now to notice Bobby sitting on a rocking chair on the front porch near the door with a beer in his hand.

"Dean!" he shouts, half laughing. "Boy you are taller than I remember-" the laughter dies down when he sees how thin he is, he's not the thinnest person he's ever seen but it's the thinnest he's seen Dean. He pulls him in for a bear hug and ignores the lack of baby fat there once was- good thing Castiel let him know about this particular issue, he was prepared. 

After hugging Dean, he shakes Castiel's hand and they quickly become best friends- they talk outdoors under the moonlight for maybe an hour. They don't move the party indoors until Dean whines about the mosquitoes. Once inside- "You boys want a beer?"

"Beer-" Dean says, Castiel gives him a look. "Root beer, Bobby. If you got it." 

He watches his uncle and Castiel laugh and exchange stories, it warms his heart. The adults drink real beer and he sticks to his knock off- life is good. _He's_ good right now. A little after one in the morning, Bobby clears his throat- "Alright, boy. Time for bed-" He groans, but gets up anyways- "Down the hall, you know where the guest bedroom is." he nods and throws him a thumbs up. 

"So, Castiel." Bobby downs the last of his beer, "Thanks for bringing my boy to me, It's been years- we kept in touch but talking over the phone ain't the same." 

"Listen, Dean hasn't been doing well-" Bobby nods, "I'm worried about him, his father was-"

"An idjit." Bobby huffs, "He hurt my boy badly growin' up. I know the boy's got issues." 

Castiel smiles weakly, "I did my best, taking care of him. I really did-" Bobby reaches over and pats him on the shoulder, it was enough for him to break down emotionally. These two grown men would never tell- but they shared more than a few beers the night they met. They shared a few tears as well, but what's a few tears between new friends. 

After bringing in their bags and swearing to Bobby he wouldn't tell Dean that his uncle isn't made of stone, they part ways for the night. Castiel sneaks into the room Dean was staying in, "Dean-" he whispers, "Are you awake?"

Dean rolls over in bed, puts his phone under his pillow- he'd been texting Jack. "Yea-" Castiel leans down and kisses him on the lips, "Oh, you came for some sugar." They both smile and make out quietly for a while. When things begin to get hot and heavy Castiel pushes Dean away, "Cas-"

"I want to, but we can't- not here." Castiel swallows his arousal. "He'll hear us and you're not exactly discreet when we have sex-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean glares. "I can be quiet."

He sighs, "No, Dean. You really can't." and gets up- winking before he leaves the room.

Dean waits for the bulge in his boxers to go away before he resumes texting his friend- he sends a final reply before falling asleep. 

In the morning, right after sunrise- he smells it, the coffee, the bacon and the eggs. There's waffles too. Bobby's signature breakfast- he used to love it as a child. Dean quickly gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen to witness bobby, wearing a pale pink apron but he says nothing about it. "Smells good-damn, Bobby." he sits down and begins serving himself, Castiel was already at the table- with the morning paper and his coffee. "Morning, Cas." 

"Morning, Dean." He hides his smile behind the paper as Dean serves himself, surprised but happy at the large helping he's allowing himself to today. 

"Eat up, both of you. "Bobby calls, "Plenty to go around-" Dean digs into the eggs, takes a bite of his bacon- and a forkful or pancakes- washing it all down with warm coffee. Extra cream. "So fuckin' good-" he moans, stabbing the eggs enthusiastically while he chews what's still in his mouth.

Castiel and Bobby are actually really shocked, Castiel more so- usually Dean eats like a bird back at home. Maybe being out _here_ is helping. 

"Done-" Dean leans back on the wooden chair, exhausted. "That was good, thanks Bobby." When he looks at his empty plate he realizes how much he really ate and he doesn't know how to feel- Castiel knows what he's thinking.

"You did good, Dean. Don't think so much." he gets up and pats his fluffy hair before leaving the teen and his uncle alone for a while- as per Bobby's request. "where's he going?" he asks, watching Castiel's ass leave through the front door.

"I asked him to go into town for me, get me a few things. Can't go myself-gotta finish up on a clients car by tomorrow."

"What things?" Dean asks.

"Supplies-" Bobby clears the table, "Thinkin' bout havin' a fire tonight, roast some dogs-sound like fun?" 

"Yea, Bobby. Sure does." It does sound like fun, it feels like home with the only two people he cares most about. They spent the entire afternoon out back working on a clients car, just about everything needed replacing even the tires but Bobby had stacks and stacks of tires piled around the yard. "Cas got me this clunker, doesn't even work- too bad you can't help me fix it." 

Bobby laughs, "She wouldn't make it out here would she?" 

Dean wipes the oil from his hands on a red rag, "She'd blow up, can't even make it twenty minutes out anywhere." they both laugh while they continue working under the hot sun.

Before sunset Castiel comes out back to join them, "Hey you." he says to Dean, realizing that sounded too flirty and hopes his uncle didn't notice. "Hows the car doing?" They both ignore him, they were too busy fixing her up to notice that he had even come back from town. 

The car was almost finished but it was late so they decided to finish her up tomorrow, they barge inside just after dark with stains on their clothes and covered in sweat. Castiel wants to fuck Dean the second he sees him. "I'll take the first shower." Bobby says before disappearing to the bathroom.

Dean opens the fridge and chugs a can of soda, as soon as the shower comes on Castiel pounces towards him. "Have to fuck you-" He kisses the teens neck vigorously and the heavily salty taste doesn't deter him. "Can I-"

Dean's caught off guard but nods in agreement, "Where-" 

"Go outside-" Castiel works on undoing his jeans as he trails behind him- "Don't have a lot of time-" Dean isn't sure of where to go or what to do but Castiel roughly bends him over the hood of the car they were just fussing over- "Don't make any noise." 

Dean struggles under the weight of the older man, "Friggin' jerk." Castiel spits on his hole and begins to lap at it like a dog, "Ugh, fuck you-" he grunts. Castiel smiles while eating his ass for just a minute, i'ts more prep work than he's gotten in a while. When his cock starts pushing in slowly- he whimpers, his cheek now pressed against the warmth of the car. "Hurry."

"Shut up." That makes him bite his lip, it turns him on. He fucks into Dean in a rush to come- it's selfish but he knows Dean is having a good time by all the whimpering he's doing- "Dean, shut up." but he won't, he's on the verge of letting out a scream so he leans over his back to cup his hand over the teens mouth. "I said shut up." he huffs into his ear.

Dean's eyes roll back and comes in no time- Castiel soon follows. He usually takes a few moments to cool down, but not tonight. As soon as he's done Castiel pulls out so quickly it makes him hiss at the burn of the loss. "Go clean up." he orders and he nods, pulling up his pants and stumbling into the house. When he walks in he sees his uncle had already showered.

"Go shower boy, you're filthy." and he does.

When he emerges from the shower, he's wearing a clean shirt and boxers- "Well look at you boy, good as new." Bobby chimes in from the brown leather couch he and Castiel sit on. Dean's hair is wet and matted to his forehead- he really needs a hair cut. "That hairs getting a bit long, ain't it Cas?" 

"I'll give it a cut-" Castiel offers, "Scissors?" Bobby sets his beer down and goes to grab the scissors in the kitchen- "Thanks." he takes them, "Let's go cut that hair-" he tells the teenager.

Dean sits down on a stool in front of the bathroom mirror, a towel wrapped around his neck to catch the hair. "Do you even know how to cut hair?" 

"I used to cut your hair all the time when you were little." he begins, measuring the hair between his fingers and snipping away at the tips.

"Right." Dean remembers now, It had been years though- he and Sam usually go together to the local barber shop where he gets that _fade_ he likes. By the time he's done- it looks similar to what he gets done at the shop. "Thanks, Cas. Looks great. " He actually means it, it does look great. He's given a quick kiss before they go show his uncle his new do.

"Good boy, looks real nice. Why don't we go into town for lunch tomorrow- the girls will be all over you." Bobby sips his beer, "Cas, won't a girlfriend be good for the boy?"

Castiel clears his throat, "So he can get her pregnant? No." Dean snorts.

"Ever heard of condoms? Maybe some fun with a girl will help the boy relax." 

"Dean, do you want a girlfriend?" Castiel crosses his arms. 

"Uh-" he looks between his step father and his uncle. "No?"

Bobby shrugs before getting up from the couch, "It's a nice night to roast some dogs, ain't it?" Both his guests nod in agreement and they follow Bobby outside, they help him set up the old grill- the flames make the night seem warmer than it is. The hot dogs are on the grill, sizzling up a storm in the silence of the night. 

"Ever get scared all alone out here, Bobby?" Dean asks, leaning back on his lawn chair. 

"Nah, if some crazy came out here- I'd blow his head off." Bobby smiles, "Got a shot gun in the house, a rifle too."

"Can you teach me to shoot?" he sits up, interested. 

"That alright with him?" he looks at Castiel as he's putting the hot dogs in buns, handing them over to his guests on paper plates. 

"Sure." Castiel nods, taking a big bite of his hot dog. "Just don't shoot yourself with it." it was meant as a joke, a notion- to be safe around guns but Dean took it to heart.

"Not gonna kill myself, Cas." Dean doesn't touch his hot dog for a while, that comment struck a nerve. The conversation around him between the two adults continued as if he wasn't there, eventually his anger passed and he ate his dog- "I'm gonna go get another root beer, you guys need anything?" Bobby asked for another beer. He goes inside the farm house and searches the fridge for another beer, virgin for him, regular for his uncle- He secretly takes a swig before he heads out.

"I know you took a chug." Bobby comments, knowing him all too well. "When you turn eighteen, come visit me and I'll let you drink the good stuff."

Dean smiles, "You got it, Bobby." They all have seconds, then thirds- except Dean. He nurses that root beer the rest of the night. When the fire on the grill goes out, Castiel and his uncle are pretty drunk and arguing about something- he doesn't know what the issue was but he had to pull Castiel away from Bobby before they started throwing punches.

Castiel leaned on him as they walked inside. Once indoors the argument was suddenly over and they were laughing at each other, over who knows what. Dean shakes his head- leaving them be. He hears the cackling of the two drunk idiots well passed three am. He can't sleep- neither can Jack because he's calling him. "Yea?" he says into the phone, "It's late-"

"Can't sleep, my sister cries all night." Jack whispers, it sounds cute- Dean thinks. "Hows your trip going?"

He smiles as he gets comfortable- "It's going. I'm having fun-"

"I miss you." he says.

He closes his eyes in a far distant yearning, "Me too." 

"Are you still my boyfriend?" his friend asks innocently.

"We can't be together, I have Cas. You know this." Dean says and it sounds like begging. "Are you going to tell on us?"

Jack stays quiet a while like he's thinking it over, "No, of course not. I don't want to hurt you." Dean sighs in relief, "Can we still be friends?"

"Yea, friends." he kinda wants to be friends with benefits and he's angry at himself for being such a slut. "Wish you were here, we'd have a lot of fun-" they sounds like actual teenagers right now as they speak, "My uncle is showing me how to shoot tomorrow, you'd love it-" 

"That does sound like fun-" Jack coughs softly.

Castiel opens the door a crack, peeking in- "What are you doing?" he slurs, he's never really seen him drunk before. 

"Talking to my friend, I'm hanging up-Jack, I'll talk to you later. Night, buddy." he hangs up, Castiel steps in- closing the door behind him. "Cas, you're drunk. Go to sleep." he puts his phone underneath his pillow. 

"I don't want you being friends with him-" Dean rolls his eyes, "He's too young for you and the last thing I need is his mother calling me every time you teach him something he shouldn't know about yet." 

"Cas, I'm allowed to have friends. Right?" Castiel nods, "I'm just trying to be normal. Let me have this." 

"You're right, just- keep it friendly. Don't teach him anything-" he looks him up and down, "Sexual."

"Course not, I'm not a pervert." Castiel snorts and gets up without saying or kissing him goodnight. "Jeez, love you too." he says sarcastically as he's left alone in the dark and he rolls over on his side to fall asleep.

All three of them sleep in way to late for breakfast, they awake around noon- as discussed, Bobby treats them to lunch at the local diner. It's a bit cramped in Bobby's truck- with Dean sitting in the middle since he's the smallest. "You still like burgers?" his uncle asks him, "They got a damn good burger."

He's caught off guard, "Uh, yea." He and Castiel ignore each other the whole drive.

Once at the diner, Dean sits on one side of the booth by himself and Castiel and Bobby on the other side of the booth. Dean picks up the menu, he sees the picture of the burger his uncle mentioned- too big. Too greasy. When the waitress comes around- he orders a chocolate milkshake and a basket of fries while the adults order burgers and onion rings with large sodas. He kinda hates food right now. 

The burgers and onion rings come first, he watches them dig in and it makes him want to run away. When his milkshake and fries are set in front of him- he drinks most of the milkshake and has a few fries. He makes a mess out of the basket and moves them around so it looks like he ate more than he did- it's something he used to do as a child. He's telling a joke to bobby when his heart suddenly begins to race in his chest, something it never does unless he's playing basketball- it stops him dead mid sentence and his hand goes to rub his chest, he swallows.

"Dean?" Castiel stops ignoring him, "You okay?" 

Dean's tired of that stupid question, "Yea." he gets up, "I'll be right back." 

Bobby finishes his last bite, "Might as well go before we head back, long drive." he follows the teen to the rest room, he hears him crying in the two stall bathroom. "Dean, you alright in there?"

He instantly stops crying, "My stomach hurts. I can't go if you're in here-"

"Alright, I'm going-" Bobby uses the urinal quickly before he exits. 

Once his heart returns to normal a few minutes later he goes back to their table to find it had already been cleared of their mess- he looks around and finds both Castiel and Bobby leaning against the truck outside the diner. He exits the diner, "Sorry, my stomach hurt-"

"Again?" Castiel asks.

Dean nods wearily, "Sorry." the adults share a look before they all hop into the truck. It's a quiet ride back and none of them mind. When Dean spends all day in the guest bedroom without so much as going to the kitchen for water- they worry.

"Dean, are you alright?" Bobby and Castiel open the door- to see the teenager laying in bed with his phone in his hands. "You haven't eaten-"

"I don't feel like eating." is all he says, still texting Jack. 

The adults glare at each other, "I'll make you soup. It's basically just broth-" Bobby says, "Yea?"

Dean looks at them, "Sure, just broth." Later that night Castiel comes in with a bowl of warm broth and a spoon- "Thanks." he takes it, "My stomach keeps giving me problems. " he deflects.

"Dean, the problem is you're not eating."

"Not this again, stop." Dean gets angry, but still sips on the broth. He's hungry and he knows he could eat but he's worried- his heart felt like it was about to stop back at the diner. "Fine, you want the truth?" Castiel nods, "My chest hurt. Alright? At the diner- I got freaked out and I'm scared." 

"Oh, Dean-" Castiel pulls him in close, looking towards the open door before kissing his temple. "You need to tell me whats going on with you so that I know-we need to communicate. If anything hurts, if anything scares you or bothers you- you tell me. Understand?" The teen nods, "Was it the first time that happened?"

Dean hesitates, "I-feel worse than I tell you." 

"How much worse?"

"I can't catch my breath-just walking to the bathroom makes me feel like death." he admits, "I get tired just eating at all, that's why I don't eat all the time." he looks at his step father, "I want to, I'm just so tired, Cas." Tears threaten to fall, yet they don't this time. "My heart goes really fast like-I just ran a mile."

Castiel rubs his jaw in worry, "Dean, you should have told me." He shrugs. "Finish your soup and get some rest, I need to make a call." He leaves Dean alone and walks outside and dials Chuck. 

"Hey." Castiel says into the phone, "Dean's lab work, are you sure he doesn't have anemia or something else? Please double check." he knows the nurse is at the hospital right now and will be able to look at the results again. 

"Cas, you there? I looked at the results again and his vitamin levels are better-um-" he pauses on the other line, "Well, his B12 levels are a little low-his potassium levels are a bit on the low side too. Kinda hard to have low potassium, everything has potassium- has he been sick?" on the line, he can hear the chatter of fellow nurses and doctors and keyboards being typed on.

"I-don't think so, least not that he's told me. He's been complaining about stomach cramps the last few days-"

"When you come back from your vacation, I'll come by and give him B12 injections- one injection per week. Um- for potassium-" he can hear the keyboard on the other end, "Orange juice is good, sports drinks too, um-if he can't eat that is. But Cas, please make him eat- anything." 

Castiel sighs, "He had broth just now."

"Broth?" Chuck judges, "Go for mashed potatoes, beans, rice-eggs, meat if possible."

"The kid won't eat anything but chips-" Castiel sighs nervously, he knows Chucks true nature as a nurse is to be critical.

"Cas." he says, "I need to get back to work, but please- you need to do something." and hangs up. He leans against the wrap around porch, little did he know Dean over heard the whole conversation- he came outside to let him know he finished all the broth. Castiel wipes his eyes and turns around to find the disheveled teen standing behind the screen door. "Dean-"

He opens the screen door for him to come through, "So I heard. Low this, low whatever. I'm dying right-" he says it sarcastically with an eye roll. When Castiel walks passed him- "Wait, you guys really think I'm dying?" he holds onto his arm.

"No one said that." Castiel couldn't hide the fact that his eyes were red with tears. "You're scaring us-" Bobby passed by- but left them alone. This was between _them._

"I'm going to sleep." Dean walks away. As he lay in bed, he didn't know why he had such a problem with food- sure, now he's too tired to eat so he doesn't. But- it didn't start off that way. As a child, he remembers struggling to eat as well. No one worried because he was so little, everyone assumed he was a picky eater. Most of the time he didn't eat that much because his parents didn't have a lot of money for food. Other times, he just forgot to eat.

He shuts his eyes, trying to remember where it all went wrong- Mom left...Castiel showed up and he had been good with that, there was food and he loved to eat. He loved movie nights with Castiel, he'd order pizza and they'd watch a horror movies. _Then..._ Meg. They ran into her at the store one day- she said something, yet now he can't possibly remember what the hell it was but it was a comment about his weight- he's sure of it.

It started innocently enough- he'd only eat half of whatever Castiel placed in front of him, then he'd throw some food away here and there. But he was still _good._ Still felt healthy and strong. He got better for a while- he played basketball with Sam every day and ate well. Where did it go wrong? He had been fine, then that damn day- he drove Castiel to the hospital and it all came crashing down. He got dizzy- felt like he had been in a dream all of a sudden- he hasn't woken up since. This life he was living now had to be some _nightmare_ but it wasn't. It was real and he had to deal with it. 

Dean looked at his phone to check the time, five in the morning. He'd been laying down but his heart was pounding away in his chest- had it always been racing? Had he just not noticed? The pain in his stomach, had it been there the whole time? He lays, feeling his heart pumping in his chest until seven in the morning- when he can't take it anymore he gets up.

The smell in the kitchen wakes Castiel up, he follows the smell and sees the teen sitting at the table- "Are you okay?" there goes that question again. He gets a closer look and sees a plate with a pile of eggs and ketchup in front of him and a buttered waffle. "I'll let you eat." he kisses the top of his brown hair and gives his shoulders a squeeze, he flinches away from the grasp. 

Dean chose life. He's choosing to get better, no matter how _tired_ he is. 

"Cas, don't forget were shooting today." 


	33. Bobby Dearest

"Dean, can we talk?" Castiel joins him out back, Dean's changing the oil on of his uncles cars- for a client. The teen nods, "You seem very happy here-" He leans against the car. "Would you like to stay?"

Dean stops working and straightens up, wiping his hands on a rag. "You're gonna leave me here?"

Castiel smiles, "Of course not. It's summer, and I have some sick days and vacation time- better use it."

"How long?"

"Two months-" the teenager hugs him tightly in an instant. "That's a yes, right?"

"Yea!" Dean ruffles Castiel's hair for no good reason, "This is awesome-best summer ever. Uh- Cas?"

"What is it?" Castiel leans over the car and looks at his work- not that he even knows what he's looking at. 

"Think we can go somewhere?" Dean swallows, adjusting the growing erection in his jeans. "Wanna be alone with you."

Castiel straightens up, "You want more, baby?" Dean closes his eyes, his knees go weak when Castiel talks to him like that. All _sweet._ "Tell me what you want baby."

"I-" he licks his bottom lip, he's already horny. "I want you to fuck me, daddy." and smiles when he sees the older mans reaction. "Please, Daddy. I need it-" Of course, they're at bobby's so they can't do anything- especially outdoors, with Bobby right inside the house where he can see them through the window. If Bobby saw them, he'd assume they were just telling jokes over the car.

"Damn it, Dean." Castiel closes his eyes, willing away the large erection in his pants.

Dean laughs, "But seriously, I do need it." his eyes scan every inch of Castiel. It makes the wolf inside him hungry and he wants young flesh. "Love how you give it to me-it hurts- and it burns-" he inches closer to the man, "But it's so fucking good, Cas." 

"What's the secret?" Bobby comes outside, the screen door slaps shut behind him- causing Dean and Castiel to step away from each other casually. 

"No secrets, Bobby. Telling Cas here-" he looks over at him- squinting one eye in the mid day sunshine. "That I want to have sex." Castiel spits his beer out.

Bobby smiles, chuckling- "You want a girl? I can find you a girl-" 

"See Cas, Bobby's gonna get me a girl." he mocks, closing the hood of the car because he just about finished his work. Bobby hangs him a fifty dollar bill for the job and he pockets the money. 

"Listen, Dean." Bobby speaks up, "When you turn eighteen, if you need a job- you can work for me here. I'm the only mechanic in town, get a lot of work but it all falls on me. Be nice to have some help." 

"That sounds awesome- but we don't exactly live next door."

"The offer always stands, if you ever move nearby-" he looks at Castiel and they smile at each other like they had both been considering it. "Anyhow, you'll work for me while you're here." with that, he turns around- "I'll be back in a bit, gotta run an errand in town." 

The conversation left him pensive, he'd love it if they moved here. Plenty of open space, lots of fresh air. It's quiet, he likes quiet. But- Sam and Jack. He'd miss them, he hasn't seen Sam in a while- but they will always be tight. Jack's a new friend- who he wants to hang out with more often. Friends or _Family?_ He doesn't know who to choose. Brotherly bonds or _Blood?_

He hadn't noticed that Castiel had gone back inside, he hoses off his dirty hands outside before heading in. He's almost done with his soda when Castiel calls him- "Yea?" he calls back. No response. Dean tosses the empty can in the trash and follows Castiel's voice. It's coming from his room- "Hey-" he smiles, crossing his arms at the sight before him. Castiel lays on his bed, completely nude and rock hard. "That for me?" his eyes glance down at the girth between his step fathers thighs.

"Yes, baby- come here." it's so smooth, he melts. "Daddy wants to love you-" 

"God, Cas-" Dean moans- he loves having his neck kissed. "More." Castiel licks and sucks at his neck and shoulder- careful not to leave marks. Bobby would know something was going on if he did. "Ugh, Daddy-"

"Mmm, what is it baby-" Castiel pulls Dean's shirt off, kissing down his bare freckled chest- going lower, he unbuttons his jeans- tugging them down. 

Dean whimpers, he kicks off his jeans and climbs on top of the naked man- "Cas-" he moans again as he feels Castiel pressing against his hole- trying to enter. The angle isn't quite right- so Castiel rolls them over so the teen is on his back and his legs are wide open- "Ugh-mm-" 

"Ready?" Dean nods, he pushes in slowly and it burns- they both moan anyway. Castiel uses some of his saliva on the pink button of a hole to make things easier, "Better?" 

"Yea, Ugh- God." It slides in easier- deeper. Castiel begins fucking him in long deep strokes- it has Dean whimpering. He loves him like this. The teens hands run up and down Castiel's muscular arms- desperate to touch anywhere. When his whimpers become cries he knows he's close- he fucks harder. Faster. "Ugh- Cas!" Dean whines. "Gonna-" it spills- thick ropes of white shoot out everywhere between their bodies. It was so much- it surprised them both. "Is all that mine?" he looks down at his stomach and chest. 

He kisses the teens sweaty forehead- "All yours, I came inside you." after pulling out slowly, he smacks the ass he just fucked. Dean's whole body twitches slightly as he tries to recover. "Better take a shower before he comes back."

Dean would never tell but he sort of hates it when Castiel comes inside him- it feels great in the moment. But after, it's messy and it takes forever to come out. "I need a towel, Cas." he's blushing- he'll never get used to having sex. It kinda always feels like the first time. Dean takes the first shower, then Castiel. By the time Castiel exits the bathroom, Bobby is back.

He sees Dean and his uncle at the kitchen table- eating. There's a big sandwich in front of Dean that appears to already be half eaten- good. "Work up an appetite?" he asks smugly as he takes a seat.

"Yea-a big one." he blushes again. Being at Bobby's is doing quite a few wonders for their sex life. That night Dean catches his uncle outside- "Hey, what are you doing out here." he asks, stepping out. 

Bobby looks his way- "Taking a walk, It's good for my heart." he waves him over, "Good for yours too, join me." Dean walks quickly up the way to meet him by the wooden fence, he's jealous of how much land he's got all to himself. No neighbors nearby. "You doin' okay?"

Dean shrugs, hands behind his back as they begin their evening stroll. "Yea, guess so. I like it here."

Bobby smiles, "I like having you here. Sorry your daddy left-"

Dean scoffs in disgust, "John is not my _daddy."_

"Cas, he good to you?" 

"Yea. Good as he can be-"

"Isn't it strange livin' with a man whose not family?" he asks, trying to understand the situation.

"It was at first. But-" Dean looks around at the dark empty fields all around them- it makes him dizzy so he holds onto the wooden fence alongside him. "He takes good care of me, I-I trust him."

"Just like that. You trust him?" They keep walking.

"No, Bobby. Not just like that. He earned my trust-"

Bobby nods, "Jus' wanted to know you were safe with him."

"Safe? He's not some child molester-" the words die off in his mouth. Was he? This thing between them started before he even knew what it was. _No. He can't be._

"Somethin' you wanna say, boy?" 

Dean swallows, "No, Bobby."

"You sure?"

"Yea." Dean stops, "Bobby, if I was gay. Would you shoot me?"

His uncle glares at him- "Even if you were a unicorn with devil horns, I wouldn't shoot ya. Now come on- keep walkin'!"

He smiles a little bit at that, "Thanks, Bobby. Wait- you wouldn't shoot a unicorn? They're annoying and shoot rainbows out of their ass-"

"Hmm, kinda like you?"

That actually made him laugh, "Shut up, Bobby."

"Look up there-" he points to his old shed that was falling apart, "Swear I saw a darn Chupacabra behind there-"

"What are they?" Dean asks, walking faster to catch up to his uncle. 

"Goat blood sucker-"

Dean swallows, "How fun-" They hear a rustling by the old shed as they approach- "Let's turn back." his uncle would never admit it, but he was scared too- otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to walk back to the house without checking it out first. 

"Shoulda never walked that far out without one of my guns." Bobby shakes his head while they make their way back. "If I ever see that thing again, we come back. Guns loaded." They're almost at the house when he speaks up, "You gay, Dean?"

Dean stops walking, "A little-" he shrugs, now knowing he won't be judged by his uncle. 

"Have you acted on these feelings?" 

"I have- with my friend Sam."

"He know?" he looks towards the house.

"Sort of." Dean bites his lip.

Bobby gives him a side hug, "You're almost an adult, whoever you like is your business." He's grateful for the acceptance- but he doesn't feel _gay._ He just fell in love with Castiel, how could he not? he's been his rock. But then, he did sort of have sex with Sam and made out with Jack. Maybe he is gay. But- he liked doing _Jo_ too.

"I like someone older." Dean blurts out, as they walk inside. Bobby looks at him.

"How much older?"

"Old enough-"

"Be careful, fooling around with a grown man is different than messin' round with a boy." Bobby goes to the kitchen, he follows- and his uncle starts making himself a snack. 

"Why's it different?" Dean asks, taking the toast Bobby just made so now he has to make more. "I mean- man- boy- who cares." he takes a bite of the buttered bread.

"Because- men are complicated. Things can get dangerous." His uncle sits next to him with his burnt toast and a glass of milk. 

"Yea-" he agrees, even though he knows Castiel would never hurt him. Not on purpose. "So, Tomorrow we shoot?" 

"Tomorrow we shoot." Bobby finishes his milk, "Sorry I couldn't today, had to run into town. This woman I know-got something going with her. Well, her car ran outta gas in the middle of nowhere so I had to go save her." 

The smile on his face makes him feel warm, "Damn Bobby, you still get around?" 

"Not around, no. But I can still get some." his voice is smug.

"You dog." Dean shakes his head, "Can't believe she let you get some with all this shit on your face-" he reaches over and gently tugs at the curly hairs of his beard. 

"Quit it, boy-before I smack you." Dean stops, "Go on to bed-ya darn fruitcake." Dean blushes, nodding as he heads down the hall to his room. He hadn't noticed Castiel laying on the couch in the living room- he over heard their conversation about _men._

The next day- they did shoot as promised by uncle Bobby. It was a breezy overcast day- perfect day to learn how to use a gun. "Thanks, Bobby." Dean smiles as they line up some glass beer bottles and soda cans on top of the wooden fence. 

"Nice day, huh." 

Dean nods, "Sure is." When he was with his dear uncle Bobby- that Texan accent seemed to pop up out of nowhere. He felt good today- he had been the past few days. He had even been eating more at meal times. Here he felt so _free._ There was no bad mojo here- no bad memories here, only good.

The wind picked up, making Dean's light blue and brown flannel flap in the breeze that hit them. Underneath he had one of Castiel's shirts- but his uncle didn't need to know that. There was a slight roar of thunder in the sky- about half a mile back. So faint they barely heard it or they didn't notice it.

"Ready?" Bobby asks, "I'll go first- watch me." he pulls the trigger- one of the glass bottles exploded louder than he expected and it made him jump. "You got it?"

"Yea-" Dean almost has to shout- the wind's gotten louder now. 

"One-two-three. Now-" 

Dean shoots the glass bottle- it exploded loudly. "Damn-"

"You're a natural." That made him swell with pride. Once there were no more bottles or cans to shoot, Castiel comes out-

"Hey!" he shouts over cupped hands, Both he and his uncle look his way. "They announced a tornado warning on the news just now!"

Bobby curses, "Shit. We better get down to the basement-" Dean's confused, "Boy, come on-" 

"Tornado warning?" 

"Yea- out here, we get em." Bobby hauls the rifle in his hand while Dean carries the shot gun in his. "Put em down-" he orders when they get through the front door, "I'll put em away later."

"Cas, what's happening?" he can't process- a loud gust of wind whirls outside the home, making the windows and the house rattle. "Cas, I'm scared-"

"Come on-" Bobby waves them over to the basement door- he's got a few bottles of water and some snacks. "We're gonna wait it out down here."

Dean follows the adults down stairs into the basement. "It's only a warning." Castiel assures him once they reach the bottom of the stairs, there's a small sofa- a generator and a small TV. Bobby flips on the TV and they watch the news quietly. 

Bobby sits on a chair- and his guests share the small sofa. He notices that Dean's sitting a little too close to his step father, basically on his lap but says nothing- assuming he's afraid of the storm out there. "This happens all the time, Dean."

Dean nods nervously, something crashes outside and his hand squeezes Castiel's knee. "Fuck."

"Drink some water." Castiel shoves a bottle in his face, he declines. "Dean."

"I'll give the boy some whiskey. It'll calm his nerves." Bobby poured three glasses, handing one to the teen which he does take and gulps it down quick. Dean looks like he wants more- "That's enough, don't want you to be like _him."_ and they all know who _him_ is.

Dean relaxes back on the sofa, unaware that his hand is still on Castiel- he begins to rub up and down. 

"That's your step father, quit it." Bobby growls. Dean stops instantly, "If I knew you were a lightweight I wouldn't have given ya any."

Castiel sits up, holding his glass out to the other man. "Another." his glass is filled and he chugs that down. They all wish the storm was over. Another large gust of wind after the other howled outside- followed by the falling of rain. 

"Storms here-" Bobby puts away the whiskey- "There might not be a tornado after all."

They all relax as they listen to the rain and wind hitting the home roughly. As expected- the weather girl on the screen affirmed Bobby's prediction. The tornado warning ended, but the storm still raged outside. Bobby suggested they sleep in the basement just in case and no fought him on it.

"Night, Bobby." Dean sighs, as he's tucked into the couch by his uncle- well, tucked in is sugar coating it. Castiel cleared the couch and his uncle threw a blanket at him. Both adults rolled out sleeping bags to sleep in. He awakens in the middle of the night- no wind, no rain- but his stomach hurts again. Dean gets up from the couch slowly- careful not to wake up anyone. 

Castiel's always been a light sleeper, "Dean- where are you going?" he slurs.

"Stomach hurts." Dean whispers, hand on his stomach. He's just about done in the bathroom when Castiel walks in- "Cas-"

"You've been in here almost an hour-" 

"I don't like whiskey." he says, hand over his mouth- "Ugh- fucking Bobby."

Castiel rubs his back for a while but Dean doesn't get sick- the feeling passes and his stomach stops churning. "I'll go get you some sprite. I saw some in the fridge." Dean meets him in the kitchen and takes the clear bubbly soda.

"I'm never drinking." he states it like a fact, "It makes my stomach feel warm-in a bad way. Ugh-" They go back downstairs, Dean can't sleep so he stays up on his phone- responding to Jacks texts and even sent Sam one. For old times sake- he missed his _brother._

"Mornin'-" Bobby greets his guests when they stumble into the kitchen late in the morning- it smells like eggs and bacon. "Hungry?"

"Starving." Dean plops down heavily on a wooden chair and pours himself some orange juice. "I need ketchup for my eggs-" he says to whichever adult will listen. Castiel brings him the ketchup after all and serves him his plate- "Thanks." He digs in and in no time he's finished.

"I'm proud of you, Dean." Castiel smiles at him and his eyes wrinkle at the edges from behind his glasses. 

"Yea." Dean smiles, "Mind if I go outside? I wanna try shooting again-"

"Sure." Bobby smiles, "Be careful." Dean spends the whole day outside- shooting his uncles empty beer cans. After a while he starts shooting at a tree. When that bores him, he notices a crow on the wooden fence- a living target.

Without hesitating- he shoots it and kills it the first try. His aim was amazing. Raven feathers scatter everywhere and he runs up to the dead creature. "Sorry, buddy." he says out loud as if it could hear him, Bobby comes up behind him.

"What did you do?!" he sounds angry, "We don't kill birds-" his uncle smacks him on the head. "You a killer or what?"

Dean holds the back of his head in pain- "Thought you wouldn't care-"

"I have guns boy, but I don't go around shooting anything that moves. Guns are for protection!" Instantly he feels bad, he's never seen his uncle angry at him. _Ever._ "Are you gunna kill a dog next?!"

Castiel steps out of the house, "What happened?" 

Bobby leaves the teen standing by the dead bird, his rifle back in his care. "He's out here killing birds-" he walks passed him. 

Castiel jogs up to Dean and gives him a quick pat on the back, they can't hug- not with the risk of being seen. "Don't-" before he can say anything Dean starts crying, "Hey-don't take it personally. He's just angry-two of his clients were supposed to pay him today but they're refusing, they're saying he didn't do a good job." that only makes him cry harder.

"You mean I didn't do a good job, I fixed those cars-" 

"Dean-" 

"If I'm not good at fixing cars, what am I good for-" he asks, "Huh- Cas? What am I good for? All I'm good for is getting fucked by you." Castiel tries to comfort him- "Fuck you."

"Dean!" He storms off, Dean took off running down the dirt road that leads to nowhere but trees on either side. "Come back!" 

Both men wait on the front porch for the teens return. _Six- Seven- Eight- Nine- Ten- Eleven- Midnight,_ and he hasn't returned. "I'm worried, Dean didn't take his cellphone." Castiel states. 

Bobby wipes his forehead on his sleeve, asking- "You wanna get in the truck, go look for him?" But before they make it down the porch steps they see Dean- walking up the dirt road. They wait for him to pass the fence before shouting- "Where were you?!"

Dean shrugs, kicking dirt up with his boots on every step. He's walking up the way like he dreaded coming back. "Walked to the diner. Got a milkshake." is all he says as he slips passed them into the house. Castiel looks at Bobby. 

"He's your problem. I'm staying out of it." he says, before heading off to his room for bed.

Castiel follows Dean to the bathroom, "You went to the diner. With what money?" he questions, "I sure as hell know I didn't give you any." he can't help but hiss angrily. "Who gave you money?!" 

"I earned it. Are we done?" and proceeds to undress his sore body, he winces. He was dirty and sweaty from what he assumed was from all the walking.

There's a hickey on his neck- he knows he didn't leave that there. "And this?" there's a bruise on one of his hips, "What did you do-" there's a cold chill of fear running up his spine. 

"What do you think." Dean says in a frozen tone, stepping into the shower- "Met a guy. He was really nice to me." he shampoos his short brown hair. 

Castiel looks at the hickey, then the bruise- "You slept with him, for money?" he says slowly, unable to process. "Why-I have plenty of money for the both of us-all you have to do is ask." 

"I'm giving it to Bobby." Dean rinses his hair, he whines in pain when he starts lathering up his body. 

"Dean!" he hisses- "You do not have to pay him for the cars!"

"Yea- kinda do. I screwed up." he's rinsing off- "My dad hates me, now Bobby? No way."

Castiel blinks- does he not understand what he just did? "Dean-" for a moment he feels like he might just have a heart attack as his chest tightens up in pain. "I have to go-" he almost slurs, leaving the teen alone in the shower. He walks quickly down the hall- racing to exit the home before he throws up. When he makes it outside he dry heaves over the wrap around porch- he's shaking- he's throwing up nothing but air. Dean was always a wild child- pushed his buttons both physically and emotionally. He'd say things that were way out there- to make him nuts but this, is a new level. What does he do?

He stays hunched over the porch for a long time- not being sick, but thinking. The only thing that came out of him were a few tears. Dean didn't come to check on him- or ask for forgiveness for basically _cheating_ yet again. Castiel shakes his head at the logic that runs through Dean's mind. What was he thinking?

The thing that hurts him the most - he doesn't feel _guilty_ for sleeping with another man.

The next morning, Dean walks into the kitchen to find Bobby sitting _alone_ at the table- mug in hand as he reads the paper. "Cas, he asleep?" he says urgently, like he knows something isn't normal about today. 

Bobby shrugs, "He took off-some big emergency at the hospital. Said he'd call you."

Dean tries not to hyperventilate- "Is he coming back?" Bobby looks at him, "Bobby! Is he coming back!?"

"He said you'd be find here for a few weeks-" 

"Fuck-" Dean runs to the room Castiel was staying, empty. "Fuck!" he begins to throw things around the room and kicking at some too.

"Dean!" his uncle comes stomping down the hall to where he was having his tantrum, "In my house, you'll behave. You understand me?" 

He doesn't dare challenge his uncle, he has guns. "Sorry." The tears stream down his face, "He say anything else?" 

"He said he'd call ya, so I guess he's gonna call ya." his uncle says, leaving him alone. "I made waffles, eat them before I do."

Dean doesn't care about food anymore, the progress he had made the last week was just thrown away. He's got to hear his voice- "Damn it, Cas. Pick up the fucking phone-" he hisses, dialing the number over and over again for half an hour straight. Castiel must have over two hundred calls from him by then. He's trying again when a text from Castiel pops up.

All it says is- _Stop calling._ His heart sinks. Another text pops up- _I'm busy._ Anxiety overwhelms him as he thinks about being so far away from him- he doesn't even think about the reasons he left him there all alone with his uncle. He loves Bobby- but come on.

Dean lays back in bed- crying his eyes out for hours. Bobby hears him- doesn't understand why he's crying so hard over his step father. It's not like they were _blood._ He's got absolutely not clue Dean's in love with him. Late in the afternoon Bobby brings him a tray of cookies and some hot chocolate. "Eat something." 

He forces himself to get up and grabs a cookie- dunking it in the hot chocolate. "No one wants me." he says, swallowing the soft cookie. 

"Oh boo hoo." Bobby whines, "He hurt your feelings. Get up and get over it because I need your help mowing the lawn." Dean doesn't get up, just stares at him. "Men don't stay in bed crying all day- we get up and do something about it. Get our minds off our pain. Now come on-"

Dean eats the last cookie and gets up- "Put on your boots will ya- last thing I need is you losing a toe." He's mowing the lawn- just like his uncle showed him, it takes him over an hour to cover the large property. While he was out doors working- he missed Castiel's call. 

When he's out of the shower- he changes into boxers and a shirt- his own this time. After laying down he unlocks his phone to see the missed call- he's not excited. He feels abandoned. Refusing to call back- he simply falls asleep. He kept thinking- If he loves me, he'll come get me.

In the middle of the night his phone buzzes- It's Castiel. "Yea?" Dean mumbles into his phone.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asks quietly on the other end, no matter what- he always worried about him.

"No but I'll live." 

"You upset me, Dean. I can't believe you-" 

"Oh- shut up." Dean moans into the phone, "Shut up-Shut up- Shut up!" he screams before hanging up. Castiel calls again, "The fuck do you want?!"

"Dean, what's going on with you?" 

"I don't friggin' know!" Dean hisses, "Go to hell!" he hangs up again, and this time he gets angrier when he doesn't call back. It takes him an hour to fall asleep- when he wakes up, it's late. Really late- it's almost one in the afternoon and he hears voices in the kitchen. One of them is _Cas._ He shoots out of bed and races to the kitchen and clings to the older man. "I'm sorry-I'm so sorry-Please, Cas." he says against his chest. 

Castiel peels himself away from the teenager, "We all need to talk." he says.

"I thought you went back home." Dean takes a seat at the table, not looking at his uncle. 

"No, I went to a motel nearby." he sips his coffee, "You're getting out of control again-"

Dean whines, "I'm not-"

"Dean, I'm worried about you. I need to know what you did and why-Bobby, you mind?" he needed privacy, doesn't want his uncle to know he slept with someone for money. It'd break his heart. Bobby nods and leaves them alone in the home. "Tell me what happened the other night."

"I-" the words don't come out but the tears do, he breaks down. "This guy-" Castiel waits patiently but the boy becomes hysterical- unable to speak. It hurts to see him like this so he pulls him close and holds him until he calms down a little- "I got to the diner-and ordered fries and a shake." Castiel nods, "I was talking to the waitress and this guy comes-"

"And?" Castiel pushes, his attitude is still cold. "What happened?" he had still been under the impression he willfully had sex with another man for cash.

"He sat down-he kept asking me about my parents and why I was all alone." Dean sighs heavily, wiping the last of his tears away. "He asked me if I wanted to work for some money, I said yes but I-I thought he meant work like, mowing his lawn or somethin'-I know it was stupid but I knew the fifty Bobby gave me wouldn't cover the cost of the cars-"

Castiel waits until he's done with the story, not knowing what to expect or what he's getting at. "So I followed him outside, he said he didn't live too far from the diner so I thought it would be okay-" Castiel's stomach begins to hurt as he listens. "He said he lived just up ahead, passing the train tracks-" Dean swallows his tears this time. "When we got closer-he pushed me on the tracks-he pulled my jeans down and-and please don't make me say the rest." 

Castiel closes his eyes, anger running through his veins. "He raped you?" he asks again like he didn't just hear him admit to it.

"-he threw the money at me before he left. I took forever to come back because-it hurt so friggin' bad-" Dean covers his face, trying not to cry again. "I didn't know how to tell you what he did to me-I was so scared, Cas-" he's pulled into strong arms again and this time he doesn't let go.

"If he goes to the diner, he must be local- which means Bobby knows him. " He holds the teens pink face in his hands, forcing eye contact. "If you saw him again, would you recognize him?"

Dean nods. "I'll never forget the son of a bitch." 

Bobby comes into the room, "Well?" he huffs, "What the hell is goin' on?" They tell him _everything._ "Son of a bitch!" he curses, "Some low life thinks he can hurt my boy and get away with it? No sir-" he goes to get his gun and both Castiel and Dean have to stop him. 

"Bobby! Please-" Dean cries, "You're not going to kill anybody!" 

Bobby nods, forcing himself to relax- "Castiel is right- I might know who he is. We go to the diner tomorrow, if he's there-well, he'll wish he wasn't." 

That night Castiel shares the bed with Dean and doesn't let him out of his grasp. "I'm sorry, Dean. I saw that hickey on your neck- I thought you cheated on me again." he sounds insecure.

"I don't want to have sex with any man that isn't you-" he sniffles, "Other men are gross." Castiel huffs a soft laugh. "I'm serious, all that body hair-" Castiel laughs again.

"Dean, it's not the time for jokes." his fingers run through the short brown hair of his love. "You're underage, you can't be going off on your own anywhere."

"I know-" he swallows, "Cas. Can I tell you something?" he nods. "It still hurts-" Castiel looks at the pain his expression, "Where he-" 

"Can I see?" 

Dean blushes, hesitating but nods. "Yea." he lays back and pushes down his boxers- Castiel opens his legs- everything looks normal. "It hurts, inside-" he clarifies. Thick fingers gently pull open his entrance and he saw something he didn't expect to see- _blood._

"Dean, there's blood in-" the teen instantly pulls up his boxers as if that would make the evidence of what happened go away. "I think we should go to the emergency room-" he's angry, furious at what happened. That some creep hurt him- but he has to remain calm so that Dean doesn't freak out. He's fragile.

"Oh my god-" Dean moans in panic, "His fucking huge dick poked a hole in my guts-didn't it- oh my god- I'm gonna bleed to death!" 

Castiel winces at the comment- "Dean, you're not going to bleed to death. I'll take you to the emergency room- do you want Bobby to come?"

Dean nods frantically as he pulls on his jeans and boots as fast as he can, he's got to go to the bathroom- but like hell he's doing that now. His fucking guts might fall out of him if he pushes too hard. Normally the thought would make him laugh, but right now it's just not funny.

It's one in the morning and there sit - Bobby, Dean and Castiel. They're at the emergency room waiting to be called into a room- "Dean Winchester?" A pretty nurse walks out into the lobby, holding a clipboard. "Which one of you is Dean?" 

"Me," Dean gets up, limping towards the nurse. Bobby and Castiel stay behind- Dean asked them too. He doesn't want to show the nurse his asshole while his uncle watches. It's beyond humiliating- The only time his uncle has seen him in the nude was when he was four years old and he was running around in his birthday suit after just having a mud fight with himself.

"Dean, take a seat. I'm going to check your temperature and your blood pressure- we'll go from there, okay." Her voice calms his nerves and it doesn't hurt that she's a pretty brunette with a big round ass. Dean enjoys the view as she writes away on her clip board. "Everything looks good, what brings you to the ER tonight? Feeling sick?" she asks, her pink pen is ready in her hand to write anything he says for the doctor.

"I-" the urge to cry hits him again but he can't let the hot nurse see him cry. "It's awkward to talk about-"

She smiles, pulls out a chair and sits across from him. "Do your best, and I'll try to help. Sound good?" 

Dean nods, her knees are touching his. "I-it hurts." he's failing so hard at this- "My ass hurts alright." 

She smiles respectfully, "Okay, what do you think would cause pain there?" _God bless her, shes not laughing._

"A guy hurt me-" his eyes water, she listens- holding his hand now. "I got _raped-"_

Her whole vibe shifts to one of utter compassion but she doesn't pry, "I see, would you mind if I take a look?" Dean hesitates, biting his already short nails. "Either I look or the doctor does-"

"Sure." Dean stands and kicks off his boots before he unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down to his ankles- this is freaking weird. 

"Lay back here-" she says, gesturing towards the twin sized hospital bed that was too high off the ground. "There we go-" she says once he's laying back- "Scoot down for me, Dean." This is humiliating.

He does as he's told and he flinches when her gloves hands probe at his entrance- he has to pretend it's Castiel's fingers or he will freak out right now. His hole spreads open and the freezing cold air of the hospital room feels weird- "I think I see the problem-"

"Yea?" his eyes are shut so tight he's seeing stars behind his eye lids.

"Yeah-" She probes some more. "You have a tear- that's causing the bleeding but it's not serious, Dean. You'll be good as new in a week. We're all done, you can put your pants back on."

She removes her gloves and throws them in the trash but not before Dean caught a glimpse of them- they were red at the fingertips. _Son of a bitch._ "Thanks." Dean's tying his boot laces.

"You're welcome." She hands him a blue piece of paper with pink writing on it. "For the pain-" She smiles, "And Dean, I'm sorry-" He takes the prescription and meets his family back in the waiting room.

"All done, we can go-" he says awkwardly, wanting to just get the hell out of there. 

"Everything okay?" Castiel asks, putting an arm around him as they all walk to Bobby's truck. 

"Yea-small tear." he says, no one talks the whole ride back to the farmhouse. When they get there it's almost three in the morning and Dean's fast asleep between them. Castiel carries him to his bed so he can rest.

Dean whines in his sleep, "Goodnight, Dean. I love you." he says to the sleeping boy and vows to never leave him alone again. 

Morning shows it's ugly face way too soon and they're looking through the menu at the diner- "Order somethin' boy. We gotta put some meat on your bones." Bobby says as he orders himself the breakfast special. Castiel gets the same thing.

Dean yawns, blinking away his tiredness. The suns barely coming up over the trees outside the window- Castiel and Bobby had been anxious to get here as soon as it opened for the day in hopes to catch the one who hurt their boy. "Eggs please-" He yawns again- the familiar waitress takes his order, "Coffee with the works-" and she takes their menus and skips away with way too much energy for this early. Dean holds a grudge over that.

"Now-" Bobby speaks up, "You see him, you let us know. Got it?" 

Dean nods, his eggs come and so does his coffee - "Ketchup?" he asks her. She comes back quickly with a bottle of it just for him. "Thanks, sweetheart." 

"You should ask her out." Bobby says with a mouth full of eggs and pancakes. "She's cute-the little ass on her. Mmm!-" and he can't tell if the food is that good or if he wants to bang the waitress that bad. They eat in silence after that- they're just about done when the door bell clings as someone walks in. _It's him._

"Cas-" his voice cracks, "He's here-" Both men follow his gaze to the man sitting up front- ordering.

"I'll be damned- that's-" Bobby swallows, "Gordon Walker, he works at the meat packing plant-" 

Dean snorts, "His job description suits him." Both men glare at him, before Bobby stands up. "Wait!" he hisses, "Bobby please, I don't want to be here when you-" 

Bobby looks at Castiel, "I'll take him back." Castiel offers, "Come on, Dean- Let's go."

"Come back in an hour-" Bobby says and they don't fight him- they leave him be to fight Dean's battle for him. He's still just a child. 

Dean and Castiel go to the local pharmacy to get his prescription filled in the meantime, "Motrin? What am I, five?" he says, examining the bottle of orange liquid. Castiel ignores his comment and they browse the magazines and books in the small drugstore- killing time until they go get his uncle. They unknowingly part ways- Dean stays where the magazines are and Castiel wanders off. 

When he's done- he goes looking for Castiel and finds him reading labels of vitamin bottles and can't help but roll his eyes. "Can you buy me these?" the teen asks him and holds up two magazines on cars and a bag of barbecue chips. He nods. Castiel pays for their items- "Dean, go to the bathroom."

"Why?" Dean glares at him. 

"I think I know when you have to go, so go." Dean looks nervous, "Your guts aren't going to fall out of you- go." If the cashier heard their exchange, she sure as hell didn't look like it. Dean hurries to the bathroom. Castiel goes looking for him after five minutes- "You okay in here?"

Dean's washing his hands- "Uh-yea." he's annoyed. "Is it supposed to hurt this bad?" he wipes his hands on paper towels. "When you-it never hurts."

Castiel sighs heavily, "Well I don't rape you, Dean." 

"He better go to fucking jail-" Dean swears before they head back to the diner. When Castiel parks up front they see a bloody Gordon Walker sitting on the ground- handcuffed. Dean gulps dryly as he steps out of the truck. Bobby's outside too- talking to the cops and he's got a busted lip.

"Dean-" Bobby waves him over- his knees carry him to his uncle on a weightless cloud. He can't feel them. 

"Tell me he's getting arrested?" Dean asks, his eyes dart over to the man- "Bobby-"

"It depends on you, Dean. You gotta go into town to the police station. Tell em' everything-" Bobby wipes his bloody lip on a diner napkin. 

"Think you can do that?" One of the cops asks, his name is Benny something- he can't even pronounce what's on the name tag.

"Yea-" Dean shrugs, hands in his pockets. They drive down to the police station and Dean's dragged away from his family- they shove him down on a chair roughly as if he were the criminal. 

"So, Dean Winchester." The cop says, as he gets his pen ready and file ready. "You're Seventeen?" Dean nods, his hands are under the table and he's so nervous that he's grateful Castiel told him to use the bathroom before he came here or else he would have had an accident. "You wanna tell me what happened with Gordon?" 

Dean nods, licking his dry lips. "He-"

"Dean, start from the beginning." the cop says.


	34. Shoot first, Who cares

"Dean, start from the beginning." 

"I've been staying with my uncle Bobby-" Dean swallows dryly, a different cop places a cup of water next to him almost instantly which he takes a sip from. "We got into a fight and I ran away from the house."

"Where did you go?" the cop asks, his pen scribbling away at paper.

"The diner." The cop nods, listening. "I just wanted to get away. When I got there I ordered-"

"What did you order?" like that matters, "Don't leave out any details, everything is important."

"Fries and a milkshake." Dean takes another sip of the water- he was thirsty and still had the taste of diner coffee lingering on his tongue. "I was talking to the waitress until that guy-"

"Gordon Walker." 

"Yea, him-he came and sat down at my table." he coughs into his fist- it's too damn quiet in this room. "He asked me where my parents where, why I was alone."

"Think he knew you were underage?"

Dean shrugs, "He didn't seem like a perv, but-" saying that makes him sigh bitterly. "I was so mad- I told him things I shouldn't have."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I needed cash because I made a mistake that cost my uncle a lot of money." he blinks away the tears. "He was nice-he offered to hire me for a job."

"What kind of job?"

"I thought he meant yard work."

"Like mowing the lawn?"

"Yea." Dean wipes the falling tear off his cheek with his sleeve. "He paid for my food and said he lived nearby. Said it would only take an hour- The way he talked to me- made me trust-"

"It's okay, Dean. Take your time, tell me everything."

Dean wipes another tear off his face, "I wasn't expecting anything bad to happen. He was telling jokes, making me laugh- but as soon as we got to the train tracks and he pushed me down-"

"Then what happened?"

Dean groans at the memory- "I tried to get away-"

"He over powered you." the cop states.

"Yea. Uhm- he pulled my jeans down-" Dean looks at his clean fingernails- remembering how he clawed at the dirt and gravel as it happened-when he got home he had to scrub them clean for half an hour- he closes his eyes. "It hurt so bad." he swallows.

"I'm so sorry. What did you do while it was happening?"

Dean opens his eyes again, the tears in them made everything blurry- like he was under water for a moment. "I-I was crushed under him-I thought I was going to die." he breathes in and out deeply, "I couldn't drag myself away-"

"How long would you say everything lasted?"

"Him raping me?" the cop nods, "Dunno-fifty minutes?" the cop closes his eyes-like he could feel Dean's pain. 

"That's a long time, Dean. How do you know it was that long?"

"Because- I counted the minutes. What else was I supposed to do?" Dean finishes the water.

"I can't imagine-"

"Are we done?" 

"Not yet." The cop clears his throat, writing away with his pen. "Then what happened."

"He finished." Dean gulps, blinking away his dizziness. 

"Inside-" the cop tries and he's cut off.

"I don't remember." Dean states coldly.

"We usually do an examination for rape-"

"I took a shower." Dean says.

"Why didn't you report this right after it happened?"

"Because-" Dean's voice cracks, "It's humiliating."

"Did you make any noise, scream for help?"

Dean closes his eyes in frustration, he doesn't want to continue. "I screamed once-if I tried again I'd be eating dirt."

"He pushed your face in the dirt?" Dean nods, "Your uncle mentioned you came home-"

"Covered in dirt-" Dean affirms, "I did. That's why I showered right away."

"And then?"

"The guy threw money at me and left-I laid there for a while. I couldn't get up- the guy hit me too." His knee starts bouncing under the table anxiously, "Everything hurt. Still does-"

"How long would you say you laid there?"

"I-hours, I don't friggin' know. When we left the diner it was daylight, when I got home-" Dean thinks, "It was after midnight, you do the math."

The cop nods, sniffling before he continues writing. "Any physical evidence of the incident?"

Dean pulls his collar to one side to show the man the accidental hickey- then he stands and lifts up his shirt to show him the bruise on his side. 

"Thank you, you may sit."

Dean leans closer- "I have a tear-" he looks down in shame. "inside."

"Okay, Dean. That's all I need. I'll be back shortly." That guy couldn't get out fast enough- the cop leaves and a different cop comes and escorts him back to Bobby and Castiel. It felt like he had been gone for days but it had just been over an hour. All he wants is to take a shower, brush his teeth and change his clothes. 

Dean sits down in the middle of Castiel and Bobby, they both ask- "How did it go?" Before he could answer, two cops pass by escorting Gordon Walker to the same room he was just in. 

"Dean-" The cop comes around and stands before them. "We're all done here. Your family can take you home now."

The three of them stand up but only Dean speaks- "Is he going to jail?" The cop nods, "Good-" but it doesn't feel _good._ He doesn't feel like got justice. Gordon will sit in jail or prison for who knows how long. He'll still get to sleep at night and he will still eat three meals a day-and he will still fuck- come on, it's prison. God forbid he finds another young- _forget it._

"Dean? Ready to go?" Castiel asks him, "We can stop by for ice cream-" and he smiles, like he means it. "We'll get a pizza too, have a movie night?"

He smiles and he means it- for now. "Yea, sounds good." he takes one last look at the closed door of the room he was in. "Let's go." 

They did go for ice cream- Dean got Chocolate, Castiel got Vanilla and Bobby got Butter Pecan and like Castiel promised- they got pizza and watched a movie. Dean got to pick, like always and he chose one that ended up freaking them all out and no one wanted to sleep that night. Every bump- every thump- every gust of wind made them jump. 

"Next time, you pick." Dean says, "That one-I dunno." he rubs at his eyes. The adults wouldn't admit it, nothing scares them but this one sure did. Maybe it was the movie or maybe it was the days events that had them on edge. "Gonna go brush my teeth." he says as he gets up.

He's rinsing his mouth with water when Castiel steps in- "How are you doing?" his voice is soft and caring. He needs that. 

"I'm-" he sighs, "I feel like killing something, Cas."

"Like Gordon?"

He smiles, putting away his tooth brush. "Yea- that'd be nice." Castiel wraps his arms around him and kisses him softly- "What was that for?"

"I just love you." Castiel runs a hand through his brown hair, comforting him. "I'm sorry for what happened. You know you can talk to me right?"

Dean nods, "Yea, Cas- I know. It's hard to talk about, don't wanna relive it." he looks down.

"You were gone so many hours-" his voice cracks, "We should have gone to look for you-"

"Cas, stop it." he buries his face in his step fathers chest, "Stop."

"Okay." Castiel rubs his back up and down, "Let's get you into bed-sure Bobby won't care if I sleep with you again."

Not long after they're tucked in bed together- Dean whispers, "Don't wanna be a victim all my life-" his face shows his insecurity in the moonlight that comes in from the window. 

"You're not a victim." Castiel kisses his forehead- "You're Dean. Here-" he takes off the ring he always wore on his left middle finger and slides it down the same finger on Dean's slender hand- "I want you to wear this."

Dean looks at the ring on his finger, speechless. 

"It's my fathers wedding band, when he passed- I started wearing it."

"Oh-" Dean's eyes don't leave the ring on his finger. He likes it. "Thank you-" he says awkwardly and it makes the older man laugh softly. 

"Get some sleep-" he kisses his forehead again, "I love you." 

A few weeks later. Dean had been eating well and sleeping through the night without issue. Bobby didn't mind that he and Castiel shared the bed now - it seemed to help him.

Dean spent most days outside shooting beer cans with the rifle or helping his uncle with a car- he'd been learning a lot about cars from Bobby.

Both men were worried about him though, he hadn't spoken about what happened by the train tracks. Every time the news ran the story - **Ex marine beats and rapes Seventeen year old.** \- They would quickly change the chanel or turn off the TV. 

Dean seemed to have forgotten what happened to him. It wasn't healthy. Castiel knew something was wrong- Dean kept rejecting him. As expected, given what hes been through recently but even his hugs went rejected and so were his attempts to kiss. 

Though one night Dean seemed frisky, he kissed him passionately- begged for him. Castiel gave in, he was needy and so eager to be with him again. He tried to be as gentle as he possibly could- so it wouldn't hurt. So that he could make Dean feel good.

After an hour of foreplay, hes halfway Inside when Dean groans - "Ugh, Cas. Stop." He struggles under him, "Stop! Get off me!" The sudden change scares him. He gets off him.

"Dean? What's wrong-" he pulls on his briefs and a shirt. 

"Get off me-" he whines, "Dont touch me."

He moves to turn on the light in the bedroom, "I'm not touching you-"

Dean's eyes open, "Turn off the light, I was asleep-" he simply rolls over like nothing happened. He stands there confused, but he- he kissed him. He begged for it, how was he asleep and doing all that?

He turns off the light and gets in bed, moving in close to snuggle with the teenager when suddenly he begins to kick him under the covers. "GET THE HELL OFF ME!" he screams.

Castiel is kicked out of bed, "Dean!" He gets up from the floor. Hes pissed. "What's the matter with you?" He turns the light on again.

Dean looks at him, "Turn the light off, the fuck." And yet again, he looks like he just got woken up and its freaking Castiel out. Big time. 

He turns off the light and gets into bed. This time though, he doesn't get anywhere near the boy. It works because he doesn't scream anymore.

In the morning, hes the one who wakes up suddenly and startled by Dean kissing his neck. "What?" He asks.

Castiel relaxes, "Nothing, was having a nightmare. I think." Dean tries to kiss him but he refuses, "Not now. I'm not feeling well." He lies and closes his eyes- desperate for more sleep.

"Okay." Dean gets up- it's only six in the morning. Hes been going to bed really early and waking up before the sun comes out. It surprises no one when Castiel sleeps all day long- he'd been sort of depressed since that day Dean ran off to the diner. Bobby took a different approach- he worked harder at his business. He took new clients, worked around the clock fixing cars and Dean helped. He loved being at Bobby's but now this place was tainted as well. There was no place Dean Winchester could escape to for peace now.

"Imma go inside, fry up some burgers." Bobby says, wiping his hands off on a rag. The suns about to set- bathing them in a golden yellow light. Dean closes the hood of the car they'd worked on all day. "Want one?"

"Nah-Bobby." 

"Suit yourself." It didn't worry him, he had been eating so well since he arrived that he had put on about five pounds. It looked good on him, one missed meal wouldn't kill him. 

Dean pulls his shirt off and fans himself with his cap before he sits down on his uncles rocking chair on the front porch. The bearded man comes outside to hand him a whiskey glass containing root beer and ice. "Thanks. I'll eat soon- just gonna relax out here for a while."

Bobby smiles, "Take your time, Cas is up." he says before disappearing behind the screen door. Dean sips his root beer in silence- looking at the empty land around him. It's so serene here, he never wants to leave- but he knows reality awaits them back home. Castiel has to go back to the hospital after his vacation time is up, they got one month left. His eyes flutter-the golden light is much too bright. He keeps thinking- he's almost eighteen...he could just, stay here. He never thought about college- assuming he'd just get a job, maybe construction or fix cars like his uncle. Like his _dad._ Castiel would love it if he caught the hospital bug- go to medical school, wear scrubs for the rest of his life.

Dean wishes he could- but he knows he isn't smart enough to pull that off. He always knew Castiel had been smarter than he led on, the guy went to nursing school and medical school. _Friggin' nerd._

Speaking of the devil- Castiel comes through the screen door, yawning. "Hey, you." it sounds flirty. Dean opens one eye- "He's making burgers in there."

"I'll eat later." he sighs, enjoying the last rays of sunlight. Here- he could lay out and catch a tan. Back home, no way- too many neighbors around. 

"Dean-" he speaks up, "You look good." those blue eyes travel down the younger boys body- those five pounds looked nice on him. So did the sudden arrival of the light brown chest hair-trailing all the way down his tummy.

Dean can't help but laugh- "Do I now?" Castiel swallows, "We gotta fuck, it's been a while." and he says it so casually it shocks him, especially with that happened last night. "Don't we, Cas?"

"Whenever you're ready." he simply says, "Don't stay out here too long." and he goes back indoors for dinner. Both men eat their greasy burgers at the kitchen table but keep an eye on the teenager through the window- they always keep track of him these days. Even if Dean doesn't always know about it.

Dean's fallen asleep on the rocking chair and the sun has gone down when a noise wakes him. His eyes flutter a few times before they open, he's confused. Green eyes scan the land around him, searching for the noise that woke up. He sees a tall shadow by the wooden fence half a mile away- "Hey!" Dean stands up, "You!" he points to the shadow. "What are you doing here!"

The shouting has both adults stomping outside- to find Dean running away from the home- to the shadow by the fence. "Dean!" they both scream after him, he keeps running and they go after him.

Dean stops when he goes onto the dirt road, "Where are you!" he looks around frantically.

Bobby and Castiel reach him, "Who are you talking to?" Castiel asks. 

Dean spins around, looking- searching for the shadow. For _him._ "...Gordon." Both men look at each other. "He was here-"

"Dean, that's not possible." Bobby runs his fingertips through his beard, "He's in prison."

Dean looks at his uncle, his eyes are wild and filled with tears. "Bobby, for fucks sake. I saw him-wait, you don't believe me?" then he looks at his step father, "You believe me, don't you?"

Castiel wraps an arm around him, to keep him from running off again. "I believe you think you saw him." 

Dean rubs his eyes, "I'm losing my fucking mind-I swear-." he looks over at the rocking chair where he'd fallen asleep, then his eyes dart to the fence. "I swear I saw him standing right there- He'd been outside all day in the hot sun, they hope it's just the heat getting to him. It'd be an easier fix.

"Let's go eat-" Castiel murmurs in his ear, as they move to walk towards the house. Bobby sets a burger and some left over potato wedges for him on a plate- Dean doesn't say anything just looks out the window as he eats his dinner. "Good?" he nods. Both men look at him in worry- he's shirtless and still sweating despite the cool air indoors. "Eat it all boy, long day tomorrow. The grass needs cutting again." he nods again and they bring him another soda.

It's not long before sunrise when they hear gun shots outside- Bobby's rifle. They meet each other in the hall way and they go to Dean's room- it's empty. They run outside to the porch and and find him out there in the dark- shooting a target. "Damn it-" Bobby sighs, clutching his chest. The rifle damn near gave him a heart attack- the sun wasn't even out yet. "Boy! Come in here and get to sleep!" he shouts.

Dean ignores him to give his card board cut out of a target one last shot- "Fine." he kicks the target down with his foot and runs up to the porch- sweating. 

"Take a cold shower." Bobby orders, "You ain't sleeping in one of my beds like that." Dean nods, heading for the shower. While he was in the shower- both adults went back to sleep for another hour, Dean didn't. When they awaken for good this time, they find him sitting on the porch in Bobby's chair. 

"Didn't you sleep?" Castiel asks, bringing him a cup of coffee and noticing the rifle next to him. Dean's watching the fence. "What's going on with you? Why won't you come inside-"

He takes the coffee and sips on it before answering- "Feels like he's in there." and he knows who _he_ is. "I swear he attacked me the other night."

Castiel gets down on his knee in front of the teenager. "Dean, that was me- I was trying to be intimate with you." he shakes his head, "Listen, it was just me. He's in prison, he can't get you."

"Cas. If he really wanted to get me, he could get me." he shivers. Dean was only wearing boxers and an opened flannel. "He's into weird things-"

Castiel sighs, "What things?"

"Think he's a Satanist-" Castiel laughs at that, "He had a tattoo of a pentagram on his arm." Bobby overhears their conversation as he walks by, he pokes his head out from the screen door. "Right, Gordon's a Satanist?" he asks his uncle. 

Bobby glares, thinking- "Well- there was talk about him. People used to say that's why he loved his job at the meat packing place- said he liked to slaughter the animals, take em' home and-"

"And what, Bobby tell me!" Dean whines, any testosterone he has leaving his body for a split moment.

"Sacrifice them to Lucifer." Bobby groans, "It's all a butch of hoopla- there ain't much goin' on around here, people make up stories to entertain themselves."

"What-what if he's marked me." Bobby and Castiel bark out a laugh, they have to cover their mouths so they don't laugh any more than that. 

"Boy, you talkin' crazy now." his uncle snarls, "Worry about demons on Halloween, not in the summer time." he goes back inside to start on breakfast. 

"Cas, I'm freaking out." Dean whines again, testosterone not back in him just yet. "Can we go to church?" the older has to blink, he's never shown interest in church before.

"I'll ask Bobby to take us on Sunday." he says, "You're safe, Dean." He doesn't know what to make of anything, first Dean thinks Meg put some bad _mojo_ on him and now he thinks that _monster_ is waiting for him in the dark.

Dean nods, licking his lips before drinking more coffee. "Can we go out for breakfast, just us?" 

Castiel nods, making a note to never touch Dean in bed, while the lights are off. "Sure. Let me just go tell Bobby." When he comes back outside, he's got his wallet and a pair of jeans for Dean and his boots. The teen takes the jeans and pulls them up and buttons the flannel he already had one. He looked _nice._ They take Castiel's car to the diner and they held hands the whole way there. "Ready?" Dean gulps, he looks around and doesn't see anyone around so he licks his lips and leans close- pressing a soft kiss on Dean. 

Dean sighs, "I needed that." they share another few kisses before stepping out onto the parking lot and he already knows he's going to order. They choose a different booth-sitting across from each other and study the menu like they haven't been there a few times already, "Pig 'n a poke-" 

"What's that?" 

Dean shrugs, "Hell if I know-" the same waitress comes to them with her notepad. "Morning sweetheart. Bacon, eggs and coffee." She's about to leave when he says, "Make that decaf." His heart is already beating a mile a minute against his ribs, he doesn't need to make it worse with regular. "So, Cas. How are you?" he smirks. 

Castiel blushes, "What?" he feels the steel toe boot pressing up against his groin from under the table. "Stop that." he begs. The waitress comes back, perfect timing- to hand them their coffees. Regular for Castiel and decaf for him. 

"Thank you, sweetheart. You make the best coffee." She blushes and skips away.

"Dean." Castiel glares.

"Oh sorry about that." he laughs, removing his foot from between the mans legs. The girl comes back with their food and they dig in, "I forgot how much I actually love food-" Dean admits, washing the eggs down with hot coffee. He flags the girl down, "More cream-" she nods.

Castiel smiles, "I can see that-" and he finishes up his own meal. 

When the waitress comes back with more cream, he tells her - "And a milkshake for the road." she nods again. "What?" he says, Castiel's eyes are on him. "I'm starving."

"You're making me so hard right now." Castiel smiles into his coffee cup, "I'm so happy." 

Dean flicks a stray crumb at him- "Wanna get really fat just so I can sit on you." It's a joke but it makes them both laugh. "But yea, maybe the shake isn't a good idea."

"Dean, take the shake. You need it." Castiel puts three twenty dollar bills on the table before they get up- the waitress comes around with his shake in a to go cup and a straw. 

"Thanks." he bites his lip- noticing how pretty she us up close. "See you around?" she giggles. "Bye." They walk to the car, "She's cute." Dean says as he buckles up.

"Maybe you two can have a play date." Castiel starts the car, laughing. "She's like- twelve years old." 

"Shes Sixteen." Dean fights him. "And her name is _Robin._ Her folks own the diner."

"Well she doesn't look it." They drive in silence, "Mind if we stop by the market?" he says as he's already pulling in to the supermarket. 

"The market-" Dean mocks sarcastically in a southern accent.

Castiel laughs, "You're in a good mood."

They walk up to the store side by side, Dean's practically skipping himself. "Pie-" Dean says, skipping off to go get a big apple pie. "This is all mine." he puts it in the shopping cart his step father just got by the store entrance. "We need chips too."

Castiel's happy right now, his boy is eating again and making jokes- being his silly and funny self. He's falling in love all over again today. "What else?" they go down every isle, and it's actually fun- they'd been cooped up at Bobby's for way too long and even then, they hadn't gone anywhere the last few months. Especially not together. 

"Ummm-" Dean looks around, "Shaving cream."

Castiel runs a thumb over the teenagers jawline, he did have some light stubble- but it looked _sweet._ "Kinda like it." they make their way to the men's section.

"One of us needs to shave-" Dean looks at the different creams and Castiel rubs his own jawline- he hadn't shaved since last month. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out-

"Bobby." he puts two cans of shaving cream in their cart, "He's fine, we stopped for groceries. Need anything?" when he hangs up, he notices that he's lost Dean. He goes in search for the items Bobby requested he bring and sees the teen walking up to him with a bag of M&M's.

"Can we go?" Dean says. They walk to the register and Castiel pays for everything. When they exit the store, a man stares at him with an odd glare. The same look Gordon Walker gave him that afternoon at the diner. "What the fuck you looking at, pervert." Dean says loudly and he meant to. The man's gaze lowers in shame-"That's what I thought." Castiel stays silent as he loads up the car, Dean helps.

They're driving back to Bobby's when he has to ask, "Why-"

"Because Cas, perverts are everywhere. Now I know." Dean sounds pissed off, "I swear, if some guy ever takes me for stupid again-I'm going to kill him." 

Castiel pulls up in front of the house, "Help me with the bags, Dean." and he does. Inside the home- Castiel's putting everything away on his own when Bobby comes into the kitchen to lend a hand. "Dean's mad about Gordon, yelled at some guy who looked at him the wrong way."

"Good." Bobby says, "Dean- he's a handsome boy but he's got soft features. Men notice that." he takes the bread out of one of the shopping bags and proceeds to make lunch, "All I'm saying is, it's good for him to be alert instead of naive."

Castiel nods, "I guess you're right." he looks over at Dean who sits on the sofa, watching TV and he notices it- he does have soft features, he's almost _pretty._ Dean happens to look over his way and smiles- those _pink_ soft lips. "You're right, better for him to be alert." he clears his throat and helps with the sandwiches. "Dean-Lunch time." he says after a few minutes.

After lunch, they go outside shooting again- Even Castiel tried his hand with the rifle and it made them laugh. Castiel goes inside first, then Bobby- leaving the young Winchester on his own. Dean doesn't mind though, he shoots at beer cans and the cardboard target. The suns going down and he knows he should go inside- but he doesn't.

He shoots a few more cans and something across the dirt road catches his eye. The same dark shadow he swore he saw last time- it's back. "Hey!" he shouts, his feet are frozen to the ground. He doesn't want to go after it, instead he lifts the rifle- and shoots. Who cares, it's a shadow. As soon as he shoots, the shadow is gone and hes wondering if he even saw it in the first place.

A breeze blows around him, giving him chills and he rushing back inside- where he's safe. By then it's pretty late, all the lights are off so he knows both Bobby and Castiel are in their rooms. In the kitchen, a bowl of noodles covered in foil waits for him. He heats it up and heads for Castiel's room, "Can I hang out with you for a while?" he asks, stepping into the room with his bowl of soup.

"Sure." He turns the page of the book he had been reading. Dean's against him in bed eating his soup in silence. He reads for another ten minutes before deciding to put his book away for the night, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Why?" he's done with his soup and hands the older man his bowl instead of taking it back to the kitchen- Castiel sets it on the nightstand next to his book. 

"Well-" He takes off his glasses, "The other night, I tried to have sex with you. You thought I was-" he stops, not wanting to mention his name.

"Why the hell are you tryin' to fuck me when I'm asleep?" Dean gives him a pissy face.

"Dean, you came on to me. You begged me to fuck you." They speak quietly of course, wouldn't want his uncle to know about their relationship. "You kissed me and everything."

"I-" Dean laughs, finding the humor. "I don't remember anything, Cas. If the lights are off- assume I'm asleep."

"I'll do that." Castiel turns to switch off the lamp when he feels a hand on his thigh. 

"Wanna make out?" Dean whispers, Castiel nods and turns off the lamp. They kiss softly at first- it doesn't take long before Dean's on his lap- his hands tugging at Castiel's dark hair. "Cas-" he whines, his hips have a mind of their own and begin to grind against the older man. They make out and dry hump for what seems like hours but it took only ten minutes for both of them to have an orgasm while clothed. "Ugh-" he sighs, falling to the other side of the bed. 

Castiel lays back- panting, and he looks over at the teen- finding him to already be asleep. The look on his face is a peaceful one. It's not until later that night then he's awakened by shouting- his eyes open to notice he's alone in bed and he bolts out of the room. "Dean!" 

He runs down the hall, seeing the teenager holding the rifle in his hand- looking out the window- "What the hell are you doing with that?" 

"He's out there." Dean says.

Castiel pulls the rifle from him, "Dean. I need you to hear me-What Gordon did was awful but you're not special- he didn't break out of prison just find you and do it again." Although it stings, he nods in response. He pulls him close and wraps an arm around him in a hug- "He's not going to come back."

Dean wipes his eyes, "He said he loved me." Castiel pulls away in disgust and shock, "When he did-it. He said he loved me-"

"Dean-" he feels uncomfortable- "Sometimes, men say they love you when they really don't-"

"But why?" Dean's eyes fill with tears, Castiel walks him to the kitchen and he sits down.

"Sex is a powerful thing. It makes people say things they don't mean." Castiel puts on a pot of water on the stove for coffee, no way they would be going back to sleep.

"But Cas!" Dean whines, "We didn't have sex. He-"

"He's sick." Castiel says softly, "I don't expect you to understand-your father, he's not the only sick human being in the world."

"There's more?" he asks in a hopeless tone, his eyes looking out the kitchen window. 

"Yes, but you don't need to be scared. Most of them are cowards." Castiel pours him a cup of coffee before taking the rifle with him downstairs to the basement where Bobby has a gun safe, he places it in there- locking the door. Dean shouldn't have easy access to guns right now- not when he's seeing shadows that aren't really there. 


	35. Evening Shadows

Dean's been fine the last week- he's been eating more. Even gained another two pounds. The days were spend working on cars and the nights were spent eating good southern food at Bobby's kitchen table. The adults had beers, he had a few sodas but he didn't mind- his uncle promised him a night full of beer and _W_ _omen_ next year on his birthday.

Most of all- he hadn't thought he saw _him_ out there. In the trees. Or by the wooden fence. His dreams were shadow free. No bumps or screams in the night.

Not until the the middle of June. It had been the hottest day of the summer so far- Dean spent the whole afternoon cutting the grass for his uncle Bobby. He was getting up there in age and he had wanted to take care of it for him. Bobby argued that he was still strong enough to do it- he's been cutting the grass since he was a young boy. Since his father took his own life with a gun. 

Bobby and Castiel watched over the teen while he worked, they brought him some peach iced tea when he was nearly finished. "Boy, come take a break." Dean insisted that he needed to finish. After chugging the iced tea, he went back to work. There was so much property he had to go through- it usually took Bobby two days, but he just had to do it all in one afternoon.

No one knows if it was heat stroke- dehydration- or _madness._ When it happened- it scared them both.

Dean pulls off his shirt before he pushes the lawn mower alongside the wooden fence, when he sees it again. It shouldn't be so shocking that he'd see it again.

The _shadow._

It's dark out- but the figure stands out anyway. Dean ignores it- he pushes the lawn mower and leaves it by the side of the porch. He looks around where he saw it- it's gone. _Thank God._

He sits down on the front steps to take off his muddy boots when something makes him look up- a noise. A branch or a twig being broken in half or stepped on. "Whose there?" he asks. Another branch breaks. It doesn't sound close- it's not coming from Bobby's property. It's coming from beyond the dirt road- where the woods begin. "Damn it- why couldn't you live in the city." he says nervously to no one. 

His eyes carefully examine his surroundings- he hadn't noticed how drenched in sweat he'd been. His jeans had been soaked through just like the shirt he took off had been. 

"Where'd you go-" he says quietly, as he looks around- spinning- his eyes scanning every inch of the place. Bobby had been watching from the window- when the boy started spinning he decided he needed to go out and stop the boy before he fell.

"Dean!" Bobby steps out from the screen door, "What are you doing?"

Dean doesn't hear him, he's spinning in circles-eyes scanning everywhere.

"Dean!" By now, Castiel comes out and the two men forcefully stop him. "What were you doing-" they ask, too spooked to even be angry. "You feelin' alright?"

Dean blinks away the sweat from his eyes, not responding- his eyes still looking over the dirt road where the trees are. "We outta take him to the hospital-" Castiel nods. 

At the hospital, he's got the blood pressure cuff on his arm- "Easy!" Dean hisses- "That hurts." The nurse doesn't try to be gentle with him- she looks stuck up and is probably grossed out by how sweaty and smelly he is at the moment. Dean could care less, he doesn't know why he's there. 

They start an IV for him after taking some blood and he finally lays back on the small hospital bed- he prays he doesn't get admitted.

Bobby and Castiel come in, "What were you doin' out there?" 

"I was cutting grass. You know that-" 

"After." They both take a seat next to the bed, "You were spinning in circles. It was real creepy-" 

Castiel keeps quiet, he didn't see him spinning in circles. He didn't see anything. 

"I was?" he asks- his eyes focused on the ceiling. The fact that he didn't know he had been spinning in circles- creeps him out too. "What if Gordon did some black mojo on me during-"

Bobby smacks his foot, "Quit it- there's no such thing."

Dean swallows- "You-you don't know what happened, Bobby. He was like- an animal-" Castiel closes his eyes, he doesn't like hearing the details. "-like a demon-"

"You're putting an evil spin on this- so you don't have to deal with what he did to you." Bobby says, "He's not a demon and there ain't no such thing- You understand me boy?" 

Before he responds, the eyes of his uncle and his step father flash red for a moment- he blinks and their eyes are back to normal. Brown and Blue. "There's no such thing as demons."

"That's right." Bobby stands up, "Who wants coffee?" they both reject his offer before he goes in search of some. 

Castiel says nothing, things are starting to freak him out and that's not easy to accomplish. The IV bag is half empty when a nurse comes by with a wheelchair, "The doctor ordered a CT scan-" se says, Castiel and Dean look at each other before the nurse helps him into the wheelchair. "It will just take a few minutes-" she smiles at the blue eyed man.

Castiel's biting his fingernails by the time they come back, "The doctor will come back in twenty minutes with the results." They wait in silence, when the doctor finally shows his face- they exhale the breath they didn't know they were holding.

He comes in with a folder in his hands, "Hello, I'm Dr. Roman." he looks through the folder, humming softly. "Hmm- your blood work came back negative for possibly everything and your CT results-" he turns to a different page on his folder, "Everything looks good- why did you come in for anyway?" he asks, putting the folder down on the counter.

Castiel speaks up- "He was-disoriented." he doesn't know what else to say, that the boy had been seeing things and spinning in circles? 

"What were you doing before you became disoriented?" he asks the teen.

"I was cutting the grass outside." 

"It was nearly a hundred degrees today-make sure you don't spent too much time outside. If you have to, make it close to sunset." he looks at the now empty IV bag, "I'll ask the nurse to give you another bag of fluids-" he looks the teen up and down- "Some food too."

Dean rolls his eyes in annoyance and says "Thanks." anyway. When the nurse comes back, she replaces the IV bag with a new one and places a tray on the small table for it. Dean looks at it and sees she brought him an orange juice and a tuna sandwich with low sodium chips. "Fun-" Castiel stands and pushes the table closer to him.

He starts to dig in when Bobby comes back, "What happened?"

"He's fine- over worked himself today." Castiel informs him, they watch the boy eat in silence. Although Bobby won't admit it- he's starting to think maybe something more sinister might be going on.

When Dean's finished with his food, the nurse comes back. "The doctor ordered an EKG since your heart rate spiked a little." the teen nods, "Take your shirt off for me please-" and he does, when she's done she excuses herself. Dean stands up so can he put his shirt back on and that's when they see it- bright red scratches on his lower back.

They say nothing while Dean dresses- "Let's get out of here." Dean says once they've given him his discharge papers with instructions to drink plenty of fluids like sports drinks. When they get home, Dean heads for the shower.

"Did you see that?" Castiel whispers to Bobby. 

"Sure did-" Bobby grabs two beers from the fridge. "What the hell' could'a done that? Nothing's ever attacked me out there-" he glances outside the window.

"It's been weeks- I didn't see those when-"

"They look fresh. They happened tonight-" Bobby confirms, "The only wild animal around here is the occasional coyote- but it wouldn't just scratch him." 

"Didn't you tell him you saw a Chupucabra-"

"Oh please-" Bobby huffs, "I was only messin' with the boy." 

"I'm hungry." Dean comes into the kitchen where they had been enjoying their beers. He looks through the fridge and pulls out some left over apple pie- he takes a seat next to his uncle. "Why are you staring at me?" 

"No reason-" A chill runs down their spines, "You havin' nightmares, boy?" Maybe Dean scratched himself during a nightmare they're both hopefully thinking.

Dean gets up to put the pie in the microwave- "Uh- sometimes." Once heated he sits back down at the table, "Why?"

"You have scratches on your back-" Castiel says. 

Dean gets up and lifts his shirt, looking back - "I don't see anything-" he turns even more- he's right- nothing. "You guys are nuts, I'm gonna go eat this in my room before you tell me I have horns next-" 

When he leaves, both adults huddle close to each other over their empty beer bottles- "What the hell is goin' on!" Bobby hisses. "We both saw em'!"

Castiel has goosebumps on his arms- so does Bobby. "Listen, I don't believe in the supernatural- or the paranormal-" 

Bobby nods, "I don't either-"

"Dean's been-things are getting strange." Castiel rubs up and down his muscular arms to make the bumps go away. "Ever since Gordon-" he can't finish. "This isn't like any trauma I've ever heard of. Even in medical school, I-I was at a psychiatric hospital for a few weeks and I never saw a case like this-"

"You think he's losin' his mind?" 

"Of course not." Castiel sighs, "What exactly do people say about Gordon Walker?" 

Now it's Bobby's turn to sigh and he looks over at the hall way to make sure Dean isn't there, listening- because if he hears this, he'd be spooked. "Gordon was a marine-" 

"I heard that on the news." Castiel gets up to grab a bag of chips from the counter and resumes his place at the table.

"Right." Bobby is about to continue when Dean barges in to steal the bag from the two men. "Boy!"

"These are mine-" he goes back to his room and again- they make sure he's not listening.

"Go on-"

"No manners on that boy sometimes." Bobby continues, "He was a marine and a good friend of mine. He had a lovely wife and he went to church every Sunday- even convinced me to start goin'-" This time he's the one who gets up and begins to make a few sandwiches- "About five years ago, Gorgon became a cop- and a damn good one." Once again he resumes his place at the table with the sandwiches he just made.

Castiel takes ones, "Then?"

He looks over to the hall way again- "One night-he was workin'- he takes a bite. "-they get a call down at the police station, sayin' his wife was murdered."

Castiel almost chokes- "Are you sure?" Bobby nods.

"All his cop buddies think he did it." 

"Why was he a suspect, wasn't he working that night?"

"He says he was- said he was on a domestic call." Bobby whispers, "But there's no record of it. He couldn't prove he was on a call- no one at the station had seen him in days-even before then, he was actin' strange."

"Strange how?" Castiel leans back on his chair, they both finished eating.

"He'd been erratic-nothing he said was makin' sense."

"How was she killed?"

"That's the strangest thing-"Bobby rubs at his beard nervously, "People in town, they kept saying his wife was going crazy. Everyone assumed it was cabin fever- she was pregnant, on bed rest. The pregnancy was hell- she was sick all day, couldn't sleep all night. I thought the stress was getting to him myself."

"And?" Castiel pushes. 

"She was dead- the same night she lost the baby. It was a blood bath-" Castiel swallows his nausea. "He was the only suspect- but he went free because she had no woulds on her. Nothing shows any signs of violence- no abuse." 

"So if he killed her, he got away with it."

Bobby shrugs, "He tried to go back to work after his leave- but the chief wasn't havin' it. He was too spooked by the whole thing- didn't like his new tattoos. The son of a bitch got a pentagram tattooed on his arm-he listened to that heavy metal nonsense in his patrol car. Not a big deal but the chief was a heavy duty christian, no way he was having any one like that working for him."

"So what-" Castiel is confused, "He must have killed her somehow- he was acting weird before she died."

"That's the kicker." Bobby leans closer again, "I'm friends with one of the guys at the station, he found all kinds of- things in their basement. To this day be believes he made some kinda deal with you know who-" he looks down to make it clear to Castiel just _who_ he is talking about.

Castiel laughs- "You had me going there." and shakes his head. "That's a good story-"

"It ain't a story!" he yells a little louder than he meant to and quickly lowers his voice. "Ask anybody in town, they'll tell you."

"So what, Bobby- you're saying he did something to-" at that moment they hear glass shattering, it came from Dean's room. "Dean!" they both call as they rush down the hall to the bedroom- when they open the door- they're surprised to find nothing is broken or shattered. "What the hell-" it didn't occur to him that Dean wasn't in the room.

"Where is he!" Bobby hisses, he looks in the bathroom- not there. "Where the hell is he! he was in here!" they both charge for the door- "Dean!"

"What?" Dean says, a little too calmly that it frightens them both. He's sitting there in Bobby's chair. 

"When did you go outside?" Castiel asks him-

"I've been out here the whole time-" he says, and they notice his hands- they're covered in dirt. 

Both men take a step away from the teen- "What happened to your hands?" 

"Dunno- they were like this." 

His calm tone of voice bothers them- "Where were you?" they play into his game- what they think is a game.

"I was here-" Dean looks at them, "The fuck is wrong with you two-why so freaked out?" 

"Nothing." Castiel says, urging the other man inside. "His hands are dirty just like-"

"When he came back from the train tracks that night-"

"Dean's scaring me." Castiel admits- "Are the guns in your safe?"

"Yea yea- they are. He ain't getting near them." 

"Good-" Castiel opens the screen door- Dean's not there. "Where is-"

"You guys still up?" Dean's voice comes from behind them- as he walks down the hall to the kitchen. 

"Bobby-" Castiel gulps, "What's going on-"

"I think we're going crazy." he simply says as they watch Dean helping himself in the kitchen to a can of soda- his hands now completely clean. No _dirt._

Dean sees the look on their faces and rolls his eyes, "Night, freaks." and goes back to his room.

"Bobby-" 

"Yea?"

"Wanna go to church tomorrow?" Castiel asks.

"Sure do-" 

The next morning- after service- they're having breakfast at the diner. Dean too. They tried to act like nothing happened and maybe nothing did happen. It was _late._

"What?" Dean opens his menu, "Oh wait- you guys are hung over." the waitress comes and they place their orders quickly, in a hurry to eat and go home. The service at church- was a little uneventful and lasted way too long. 

"What!" Dean hisses, after their food came. "Stop staring at me like that-"

"Like how-" they look like they'd just seen the devil himself sitting across them-

"Wait- just how much did you two drink last night? I heard both of you cackling like witches all night."

Bobby and Castiel glare at each other for a few seconds, "We were up all night?"

Dean swallows the eggs in his mouth, "Uh- yea. When I woke up I cleared the table- you guys finished a whole case of beer-whiskey bottle was empty too." They look confused, that's not how they remember the night going. "Don't you guys remember?"

"No-we had one beer."

"Wrong again-" Dean chirps, "You guys were hammered." 

Castiel gulps his coffee, "Did we really drink that much?" he asks Bobby.

"We must have-" he looks at Dean's hands and for a moment they look dirty- before he blinks. They're clean. "Think I'm still drunk-" he chugs his coffee too.

"Why'd we go to church?" Dean asks when he's done eating, "It was kinda nice, but why?" There's fear in their eyes, "I don't believe it-something happened to you two last night, didn't it." They stare at him, "You saw something."

"We-"

"You saw it-" Dean leans back against the booth, "You saw what I saw- outside. I swear, Bobby. Somethin' is out there-"

"We saw you." Castiel says.

"You saw _me?_ " 

"You weren't in your room-" Bobby says, quietly so other people don't hear their conversation. "You were outside-What I don't get is, if you went outside we would have seen you walk by-we were in the kitchen and your hands, they were covered in dirt." 

Now Dean has goosebumps, "Bullshit. I was in my room-"

"Guess we were _that_ drunk." 

When they get home- Castiel looks through the garbage, after all Dean said he cleared the table of beer bottles. Nothing-so he goes outside to look through Bobby's garbage can-nothing there.

"Bobby." He walks over to the bearded man- he's fixing a car out front. "Dean said he tossed all our beer bottles but I checked and couldn't find anything. All I found were the two we knew we had."

Bobby wipes his hands on a rag, "Why would he lie?"

"What matters is that we weren't drunk-"

"Then what we saw, really happened." he sighs, "Shit-"

"Weird things have been happening since-"

"Gordon." Bobby agrees, closing the hood on the car he was working on. "Think he did somethin'?"

"I don't believe in any of that-" Castiel sighs. "I think were scaring ourselves. Out here- in the middle of nowhere. We're making things up-Dean's just a troubled boy and we're turning it into something it can't be."

Bobby nods, "Well I been out here in the middle of nowhere for two decades- nothin' strange ever happen, until now."

"Do you think Dean's doing this- without knowing? or is it something _else._ "

Bobby shrugs, they walk up to the house together - "Don't know, but I know Pastor Jim-maybe he can come bless the house. And Cas- if Dean was doin' this-how's that explain the glass breaking in his room?" 

"But nothing was broken-" 

"Exactly. He can't be doin' it-" 

"Dean, lunch!" Castiel calls suddenly. 

"Where the hell is that boy." Bobby looks out the screen door, "I don't believe it-"

"What?" Castiel looks outside and there's Dean- setting up beer bottles along the fence to shoot at. What worries them the most is he got into the guns- but the safe was locked. "Didn't you say the safe was-"

"Locked-" Bobby pulls out the key from his pocket. "It was but wasn't he-

"In his room, yes. Call pastor Jim, now." 

The next morning- when Dean wakes up he finds them in the living room drinking coffee. "Morning-" he mumbles before heading for the kitchen. There's a knock at the door and he answers it- "Pastor Jim, what are you doing here? he says, "Haven't seen you since-"

"You were a child." Pastor steps inside, he looks around- "Your uncle called me to come have coffee." Dean makes a face and the guest goes to the living room. 

"Pastor Jim." Bobby smiles, shaking hands with the man. "Well, what are ya waiting for? Get the man some coffee." Dean nods and goes back to the kitchen. 

"Please, sit." they sit down, "Somethings been goin' on with Dean-" the teen chose that moment to talk in with the pastors coffee. But he doesn't leave, instead he sits down too.

"Don't stop talking on my account."

Pastor Jim speaks first, "Dean, you look well. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother and father-about them leaving."

Dean shrugs, "So? I'm doin' just fine with Cas." 

"Of course. Most of all, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. By the train tracks-" he sips his coffee. His aura is way too calm and passive, it pisses him off.

"I'm fine. Guy's in jail now." Dean crosses his arms at his chest. 

"I know what happened must have caused a great deal of trauma-"

"Trauma." Dean nods, laughing softly to himself and it scares them all. "You don't know anything about _trauma._ Do you know how long I laid there-with my face in the dirt-do you know how I tried to claw away from the bastard!"

"Dean!" Bobby hisses, "Calm down."

Dean's chest is heaving up and down in anger, "Almost an hour-" he faces the pastor. "I laid there- taking it. For almost an hour-" 

The pastor nods, "I'm so sorry I brought it up." he looks at the adults, "There's been a lot of stress around this situation, yes?" they nod, "Stress like that- can cause us to see things that aren't there to begin with."

Bobby and Castiel stay silent on the sofa, "See things? You told him I'm seeing _him_ outside?"

"No- we told him _we're_ seeing things."

"What things are you seeing?" he asks, more calm.

"We keep seeing _you-_ Castiel says, "Doing things-" he shakes his head- "Being places you weren't-"

"Like you're walking through walls or somethin'-" 

"That's-that's crazy. I'm not doing anything!" Dean gets up and storms off to his room.

"I'm sorry-" they start but Pastor Jim holds up his hand-

"No need for apologies. Tell me, what else is happening. You weren't all that clear when you called." he sips his coffee.

"Dean's been seeing a shadow outside- he thinks it's Gordon, thinking he's escaped from prison somehow. There was also-some markings on his back, they were gone a few hours later." The pastor nods, urging him to continue his story. "He's one place one minute- then he's somewhere else the next."

"I see- all of this is very strange. This only started after his encounter with Gordon Walker?" They nod. "I heard some of the things he's involved in."

"Such as?" Castiel asks.

"That he worships you know who-" he looks down instead of saying who, "That he takes part in ritualistic-wait- you believe that?"

"We don't want to but-"

"I assure you, the mind can play nasty tricks on us. Dean's suffered something traumatic- it's not easy to over come. I've seen people slap the name of evil on the mundane. It's easier to cope with a monster in the dark than realizing the thing you were afraid of is just a person."

"Are you sure?"

"If you'd like-" he stands, bible in hand. "I can recite a few prayers and sprinkle some holy water in every room. Outside too." They agree to that and it takes Pastor Jim about an hour to recite his prayers in every room, outside too. Bobby asked him to sprinkle holy water by the fence as well- can't be too careful.

They walk the pastor to his car- "I'll leave this here with you. Feel free to use it as you see fit." he hands Bobby the left over holy water. "Good day, I'm just a phone call away." 

When the car disappears down the road Castiel speaks up, "I think I need to get Dean some help-" Bobby looks pensive, "I'm serious- his behavior is affecting all of us. I'm not sleeping well and I know you aren't either."

"You thinkin' therapy?" Castiel nods.

That evening they sit down to an early dinner- both men are exhausted and plan on hitting the hay early.

"Why are we eating dinner at four?" Hes not complaining, just curious. 

"The last few weeks have been tiresome-" Castiel says.

"Tell me about it." Dean eats his his meal without saying another word. Around seven, Castiel gets up from the sofa first- the movie they had been watching made him even more exhausted. Why would he choose _breakfast at tiffany's._ Hes full of surprises.

When the movie ends Bobby snorts, "She couldn't name her cat until she belonged to someone?" 

"You missed the point-" 

"And I'm sure it's a good one." He gets up and stretches his limbs. "I'm off to bed, don't stay up too late."

"Night, Bobby."

"And don't go outside."

"Wait-Bobby-" Dean gets up from where he'd been sitting on the floor for movie night, "Tomorrow's Fathers Day- can we go get him a cake?"

He smiles, "Sure, kid. We'll go early, surprise him."

As promised, Bobby wakes the sleeping teen from his bed and they drive off to the market in town. "What flavor?"

"Let's do vanilla, Cas likes plain." They grab a large vanilla cake and place it in their cart, "I got some money left-" he gulps, the memory of how he earned it flashing before his eyes for a brief moment. "I want to get him something else, pajamas or something." 

They part ways while they shop - he does find a pajama set for Cas and he gets his dear uncle a little something too. After all Bobby is like a second father. Once they have their gifts they head over to the diner for a quick bite.

"Dean." Robin comes over, "You're becoming a regular around here-" She writes his order on her note pad- Bacon, eggs, coffee. It's always the same, unless he comes in the afternoon then it's fries and a milkshake.

"Thanks, sweetheart." Dean smiles at her.

Bobby leans over the table - "You idiot, why don't you ask her out? You'd be cute together."

"Don't think Cas would like me hangin' around her." Dean pours cream and sugar into the black coffee that just arrived for him. "He's scared I'll get someone pregnant-"

Bobby snorts, "Hasn't he ever heard of condoms?" Dean shrugs. "Ask her out, boy. Have some fun." But _Cas..._ "Take her to a movie-ya can't get her pregnant doin' that."

Dean smiles, "Maybe, I'll ask Cas."

"It's okay to have a friend-" Bobby smiles, "You need to go on and be a kid."

"Fine-" Dean rolls his eyes, "Robin!" he waves her over. When she comes he asks, "Robin- do you wanna go to a movie with me?" 

"Like a date?" She just had to ask.

"Uhm-sure, what the hell." And she practically squeals in joy. He likes that sound- "So, tomorrow night?" she agrees and goes back to work.

"You better thank me when you have fun-" Bobby says, finishing his food. "Cas won't mind- she's a good girl, the kind who wait until their wedding night."

"Yea." Dean finishes his food too, well barely- Bobby rushed him because they got Cas' cake in the truck. 

Back at home- Castiel is up and they couldn't really hide the cake from him but he plays stupid. He acts like he didn't see them carrying a huge sheet cake. The cakes gotta stay a secret until tonight after they have dinner. 

"Your boy's got a date tomorrow night-" Bobby starts, they're putting away the few bags of groceries they got at the market as well. "That girl from the diner."

Castiel comes to the kitchen, eyes on Dean. "Is that right?" 

"Bobby made me ask her." Dean blushes, "Said I should make friends while I'm here."

Castiel surprises him- he smiles. "She's a nice girl, I don't mind."

"You don't?" Castiel shakes his head, and goes back to the living room.

"I know you said you might be gay-" Bobby talks quietly now, "But I want you to go out with her, see what you think." Dean nods. "That's my boy."

That night they have a small barbecue for Fathers Day. The night is filled with many laughs and many beers, Bobby even let Dean have _one._ "Dean." Bobby eyes dart towards the house. 

"Oh shit, right-" Dean giggles, knocking over the rest of his beer and runs up to the house for the cake and hopes he won't drop the thing on the grass. He comes out a few minutes later with the large cake- "Cas, we got you this-" Bobby helps him carry it the rest of the way and they set it down on the table they had been sitting at all night.

Castiel's a bit drunk so emotion over takes him- "Dean-" he almost whines, "I love it." 

"Happy Fathers day, Cas. You're not my real dad but-" Dean sits next to him and wraps an arm around the man, "You've been a good dad to me." 

"Dean-" Castiel starts to cry, and it's ugly- "I love you and-Bobby-I love you too."

Dean laughs, "Someone's had too much to drink." he gets up and grabs the knife- he cuts the cake- giving Castiel a big piece. They enjoy the cake and and they all have seconds- Bobby and Castiel enjoy their gifts too. Pajama set for Castiel, a card and a six pack for his uncle. 

Tonight, the men sleep like babies thanks to the alcohol. In the morning- no one wakes up, not until almost two in the afternoon. Dean gets up first-he drank the least, then Bobby got up. By the time Castiel woke up- they were all drinking coffee in the kitchen. It was way too hot for the beverage but they needed it.

"Ugh-" Castiel groans when he comes into the brightly lit kitchen.

"Mornin' grumpy." Dean smiles, "Oh by the way, tonight's my date with Robin." he watches for a reaction. Castiel sits down, "Aren't you gonna tell me to keep it in my pants?" he shrugs.

"I trust you." Castiel mumbles over his coffee mug.

"Yea?" it warms his heart, "I can almost promise I won't get her pregnant." he jokes- he just has to. He loves messing with the man.

Castiel coughs, "Please, don't talk to me about sex with teenage girls." The phone rings then, Bobby gets up to answer it. "Who is it?"

"It's Robin-" 

Dean grabs the phone, "Hey, sweetheart." he says, looking at his step father. "Sure- I don't mind. I'll see you then, bye sweetheart." 

"Watch it with the sweethearts, you're gonna make her fall in love with you." Bobby says.

"Oh shut up. She's my friend." Dean gets up to get a bowl of cereal, "It's not a date anyways, she called to ask me if her mom could join us so- you two are going with." Both men look at each other, the last thing they want to do is go to a crowded movie with a bunch of tweens.

At the movies- Bobby and Castiel sit near the back, Dean sits closer to the front with Robin and her mom. From up high they can see Dean and his _friend._ Castiel is pleased when he behaves himself, his hands stay on his own lap the whole time- though when Robin's mom gets up to get a refill or her popcorn, Dean moves in. _Damn you, Dean._

For a second there it looked like maybe he was whispering in her ear because of the loud movie, as he moved- he noticed that he was kissing her ear. _Stop it-_ it doesn't end there, he places a tiny kiss on the lips- she smiles and pushes him away. _Good girl._ When the movie is over- they meet out front- Bobby and Castiel go wait in the car while Dean and Robin stay behind to talk a while.

"Seems nice-" Bobby says, looking at the young trio standing by the doors. Giggling away to each other.

"I don't think he should be dating." Castiel can't look at them, he's a little jealous. "With what he's been through-"

"Oh please." Bobby huffs, "What do ya think will happen- that he will freak out and hurt her? Dean doesn't have an abusive bone in that skinny lil' body of his."

"That's what you think-"

"What now?"

"Dean's thrown a few punches at me-" Castiel wipes his nose at the reminder, "There was a time I got called to his school every other day for starting a fight-"

"You're kidding-" Bobby starts the car once he sees Dean hugging Robin goodbye. "Maybe we outta keep an eye on him around girls." Castiel agrees.

"How'd it go?" His uncle asks. 

"Okay I guess, I like her more as a friend." Dean buckles up.

"I'm sure you kiss all your friends like that." Castiel looks at him through the rear view mirror, _he actually does kiss all his friends like that._

"Shut it, Cas." Once at the house, they walk up the steps and Dean takes a seat on the rocking chair- "I'm gonna relax out here a while." 

"Since it's too hot to cook, I'm thinkin' sandwiches for dinner, want one?" 

"Sure, Bobby." he leans back- undressing his step father with his eyes before both men walk through the screen door. It doesn't take long before his uncle brings him a sub style sandwich and chips on a paper plate, "Thanks-" his uncle sneaks him a cold one too. "You're awesome-"

"Our secret." he goes back inside. Dean eats his food rather quickly but his beer- that he sips slowly, takes his time. He didn't realize when his eyes were scanning the property, like he was searching for that darn thing in the darkness.

"Stop it-" he tells himself and decides to focus his eyes on the beautiful full moon above him. All he can think about is how can't sit out here with Castiel, cuddled together under the moonlight. It'd be romantic- it's been a while since they've had sex and even longer since they did anything romantic for each other. He stays outside so long that Castiel comes looking for him- "Hey-" he hides the beer can between his legs.

"I saw you drinking-" he looks at the window- "You're not actually invisible." 

He blushes, "Fucking Bobby let me drink." 

"I don't care if you have one." Castiel says, leaning against the porch railing. "I saw you kiss her."

"I make you jealous?" Dean takes the last sip of beer and he sets it aside, "Because, I can kiss you like that. Be sweet to you-wouldn't that be a nice change?" Castiel swallows his instant arousal. "How about, I go in there when Bobby's asleep and suck your dick for you? Yea? Hows that sound?"

Castiel looks through the window at Dean's uncle- then back at Dean. The fucker has his game face on, if his uncle looked through that glass window- he'd think they were talking about anything but sex. He nods- "I want that-"

"On second thought, go inside right now and tell Bobby you're going to bed early. I'll tell him the same thing-and Cas?" Castiel looks at him once more before he leaves, "I expect you to be naked, with that dick in your hand- if it's not hard, I'll be pissed." Castiel quickly nods before heading inside. Dean watches the exchange from the window and waits five minutes before he heads in too. "So tired-" Dean yawns, "See you tomorrow, Bobby."

"Get some sleep, tomorrow you're helping me put it a transmission." 

"Sure thing."

Dean goes down the hall to Castiel's room, he pushes the door open and finds the blue eyed man just like he expected. Naked and waiting for him in bed, with his rock hard dick in his hand. "That mine?" he nods. When he gets closer, Castiel starts grabbing at his ass- "Not tonight, you said I get too loud." Dean takes his time, kissing Castiel's chest- actually giving him a hickey near his nipple. "Miss you, Cas." He kisses up the mans neck, to his ear and kisses him where he kissed robin.

"I knew you were watching me-" he breathes, "I wanted you to see-" 

Castiel sighs breathlessly, his hands groping the teens backside. "Mmm-" he moans softly.

"You like that?" Dean's hand is slowly but firmly jacking him off, "You gonna come?" he asks, knowing he's about to- he knows that look on his face when he's about to explode. When Castiel nods, Dean moves down and sucks on it. Long slow strokes until come is bursting into his mouth- "Hmm-"

"Fuck-" Castiel breathes heavily, "Warn me before you do that next time." When his dick felt that warmth and wetness of Dean's mouth- he almost forgot to keep quiet.

"Love you." Dean stays down there, pressing gentle kisses to the mans thigh. "Miss you-"

"Love you too-" Castiel feels himself getting hard again so he pulls the teen back up so they can kiss. "I can't live without you." The words just come out of his mouth.

"Really?" Dean looks into his blue eyes, he won't admit it but it got him a little emotional. Castiel nods, "Can't live without you either, Cas."

"You won't have to." Castiel kisses his messy brown hair before they both fall asleep.


	36. Deadline

Castiel is shocked when he sees Dean's at the kitchen table with one of his old medical textbooks. _Where did he even find it?_

"What are you doing with that?" he inches closer, hovering over the teens ear. "I don't see any naked body parts on this page, so why are you looking-"

"Thinking about my future." Dean mumbles, the particular page he was studying was the anatomy of the human brain. Little did Castiel know, he was interested about the brain suddenly because he wondered if maybe something was wrong with his-seeing shadows isn't normal.

"No you're not." Castiel sits down and takes the book from him, "Why are you really learning about the brain?"

"What if-" Dean starts to bite on his nails.

"Dean, you had a CT scan done at the hospital." Dean nods, "If something was wrong they would have told me."

"You're right-" Dean shakes his head, "Just freaking myself out."

"What do you really want to do in the future?" he asks, looking through his old text book- it can't hurt to refresh his memory while he's on vacation. 

"I sorta thought you could just be my sugar daddy." Dean says in all seriousness.

"Aren't I already?" Castiel looks down the hall to make sure Bobby isn't there and gives him a quick kiss. 

"Cas, I like fixing cars-" he begins, "I like it because no one's telling me what to do or when to do it, I do it on my own. I figure out what's wrong with the car myself and I fix it."

Castiel smiles, "So you wanna be a mechanic like Bobby?" He does want to be like Bobby, not _John._ Dean nods, "I think that's great- You know, you could take an Automotive Technology program. It would help you."

Dean smiles, he can see the excitement on his face. "Can you help me get in?" Castiel nods happily, "You're the best dad in the world-" the words slip and Castiel hugs him- emotion over coming him but he does a good job of keeping it hidden.

"Who died?" Bobby comes in- wearing his fuzzy brown robe that makes him look like a bear.

Dean laughs, "Cas is gonna help me get into this program, what is it called again?"

"Automotive Technology." 

Bobby smiles, "Well isn't that awesome- but won't that be expensive?"

"I'll take care of it." Dean smiles and hugs him yet again. All Castiel can think about is being called the best _dad_ in the world. He doesn't have his own children but with Dean he's got the best of all possible worlds. "You have to finish high school first, or get your GED."

Dean's smile falls, "I was supposed to graduate this year. But with everything that happened-"

"I'll help you-" Castiel smiles, "I'll call the school and ask about you, I'm sure we can figure something out." As promised, Castiel called his high school and talked on the phone with his principle for almost an hour. Turns out- Dean could graduate, if he could finish the rest of his school work before the end of August when the following year was supposed to begin- he'd get his diploma. 

Castiel had explained the situation they found themselves in- some of it wasn't their fault but on the other end- even if school hadn't closed it's doors for the rest of the year, he might have not made it to class every single day. Dean's had a tough year, getting into fights- when it wasn't his behavior it was his health. Lucky for him, Dean's principle was understanding- more so now once she knew what he was going through privately at home.

"Dean, good news." Castiel comes into the living room- "You just need to finish your school work for the rest of the year and you'll get your diploma in the mail. Everything's online now-"

"Awesome." Dean smiles, "But Bobby doesn't have a computer and you didn't bring yours-"

"Dean, I'll buy you a laptop- don't start making excuses." Dean nods. "I'm going into town for it now-are you coming with me?"

"Gotta help with a car today-"

Castiel's gone almost all day when they see his car pull up- He and Bobby had spent the entire afternoon working on a car for a client. Castiel's got a box he assumes is the laptop under one arm, and a milkshake in his other hand when he steps out of his car-"Aww Cas." - he sees that he brought him a slice of pie from the diner as well, "Awwww Cassss. You're giving me a stiffy-"

"Dean." Castiel glares, his uncle is right there-

"Bobby knows me." He laughs, "Relax, he thinks I'm funny. Don't you Bobby?"

"Hilarious." He rolls his eyes, shutting the hood of the truck they just now finished. "I'm heading in now, darn mosquitoes." 

"Hurry, kiss me before he looks." Castiel presses a big on him, they both look back at Bobby going up the steps. "You're the best boyfriend." Dean smiles, not caring how gay he sounds right now. Come on, the guy just brought him pie.

Castiel blushes, he's never said the word boyfriend. "I'm your boyfriend?"

Dean hadn't noticed he even said it, "Aren't you?"

Castiel nods, "Yeah, I love you." They spend some time sitting outside- just them, and it's nice. Quality time with Castiel. "So. Dean-"

"Yea?" Dean rocks back and forth on the chair, the sunlight making him glow.

"Are you okay?" 

"Yea-" he sighs, "But It's hard, Cas. I know you want to-" he looks down at his crotch- "But I'm not ready. What he did" he huffs a laugh. "He's a big guy-I just-"

"I understand, we don't have to." Castiel smiles and moves to get up from his chair- "You coming in?"

"In a bit." he smiles, "You go." Dean spends some time, thinking- about that day. He thinks about Gordon Walker- about the train tracks. He thinks about his hands- they got so dirty trying to get away. And he thinks about all the time it took just to walk back to the house- the wind makes a rustling sound- he looks around but there's nothing.

"You comin' in or wut?" Bobby opens the screen door, it startles him awake. _When had he fallen asleep?_

"Yea-" He drags himself off the rocking chair and follows his uncle inside. "Bobby-" he starts, "Nothin'-"

"Tell me, what's on your mind boy."

"I like being here, feels like home." he smiles sadly, because it does- or did- before what happened. "I had a lot of fun here as when I was little-" he laughs as the memory strikes him, "Remember Rufus? Used to play with that damn dog all the time-"

"He died-" Bobby smiles, "Few years back, damn near broke my heart-he'd been with me for years."

"Poor Rufus." Dean sighs, "I miss those days."

"Me too." Bobby pulls him in for a big bear hug and it lasts a little longer that it was meant to. "I miss them too." Dean smiles sadly before he peels himself away from his uncle, "And boy, get to bed. Tomorrow you need to start catching up on all that school work-"

"I know, Bobby- I'll try to make you proud." 

"I've been proud of you." Bobby pats him on the shoulder before heading to his room for the night. Dean looks at the kitchen table- he was hungry but decided to leave the plate left out for him untouched. As sick as it sounds- he kind of missed feeling _hungry._ Instead of having dinner, he goes to find Castiel in his room.

"Cas?" He peeks inside, seeing the man in bed reading. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Castiel closes his book.

"Listen-" Dean sits down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry I've been a burden this whole time-"

Castiel stops him, "You're not- what Gordon did was-"

"I mean before that. Being sick and weak all the time-" Dean sighs, "I'm sorry for-starving myself. I didn't know what I was doing to myself. I know it affected you too, to see me like that."

"Dean-"

"And I'm sorry for hurting myself-" Dean rubs up and down his left arm- the ugly scars have now turned into thin white lines. You couldn't see them unless you looked closely. "I'm just sorry, Cas." 

Castiel sits up so he's closer to the teen, "I don't care about any of that, I love you." 

"You're too good to me, why?" Dean looks at him, he really wants to know. Why Castiel loves him so much, he was just a snot nosed kid when they met. 

"Because-" Castiel has to think about it, "Because you're you." he smiles, "Remember when you were little, you gave me a drawing-" Dean looks like he's trying to remember but failing. "You drew me a heart with your name on it."

"I don't remember." Dean says.

"I still have it, somewhere." Castiel kisses his cheek, "I love you because- I've fallen in love with taking care of you, I love protecting you." he swallows the knot in his throat, "We're family now."

"I hate you." Dean whines, wiping away the tear that escaped from his eyes- "I love you but Cas, just let me be sorry for being a drag. Can you do that?" Castiel nods, "God- I've been a nightmare. All the friggin' fights at school-the bad grades-almost breaking your nose- Fuck Cas, how can you love me at all?"

"You've made me angry here and there over the years, that's true- but I still love you. But if you want to make it up to me, why not start with simply not kissing anyone that isn't me? Can _you_ do that?" Castiel kisses his cheek again, "No more games."

Dean laughs softly, "Fine and yea no more games." they kiss softly after that for a few moments until they lay back into bed together- "Are we ever gonna be able to be together?" he asks because if they have to keep their love hidden forever, it'll kill him. He wants to be _out._

"One day." is all he can say because he doesn't know, "Do you wish we could stay here, permanently?"

"Uh-yea. That would be awesome-"

"What about Sam and Jack, won't you miss your friends?" his fingers absentmindedly card through the teens short brown hair.

"Yea- but I like it here." Dean looks up at him, "Do you think we could stay?"

"I think so, there's a few hospitals here I could work at-" his tone of voice shows that he's really considering uprooting their lives to move here for good, "I've got enough money to buy a house here-if Bobby didn't want us staying here." Castiel didn't want to go back- the thought of going back made him feel sick to his stomach. Here, he felt that same freedom Dean was feeling. He likes that things are calm out here. 

"We're really doing this?" Dean smiles, "We're really staying?"

"I'm thinking about it." He kisses him again. "Let's get you that diploma first." Dean nods, "And maybe- we can visit your friends back home once in a while. We'll see how things go-" 

"Sure, Cas." Dean snuggles close into Castiel's chest before he sits up, "I better go eat something-" Castiel nods, "I'll be back." He hadn't planned on eating dinner, but since he apologized for starving himself- he just had to eat. He really doesn't want to upset him, or Bobby by continuing to hurt himself this way-because they do love him. After he ate his dinner, he didn't go back to Castiel's room- he stayed up on the phone talking to _Robin._

In the morning- Bobby and Castiel are already up and having breakfast at the kitchen table when Dean walks in with his laptop. "Morning." Castiel mumbles with his mouth full. "Where are you going?" the two men watch him put on his boots by the front door.

"The diner-" he ties the laces, "I'm gonna study there. I love your house Bobby but I'm kinda getting cabin fever here-"

"You're going to the diner by yourself?" Castiel looks at him with worry, "I don't want you going anywhere by yourself-"

"I won't be alone, Robin's gonna tutor me." They look at him, "She's just my friend, I'm not into her like that." 

"Dean-" Castiel stands, "I still don't want you going alone-"

"If you wanna give me a ride I won't say no." Dean gives him a look- begging with his green eyes to please let him go. Castiel agrees to give him that ride- although he doesn't want to leave him there alone. After arguing the whole drive to the diner, they agreed that he would stay- but sit at a different table to keep an eye on him. "Sit over there." he looks at a table that's across from where he plans to study with his friend. "Go." 

Dean plops down at a booth and opens his laptop- Robin's busy with a customer right now so he waits until she's on her lunch break. It'll be a while so he browses the internet- every time the bell on the door jingles he looks up to see who it is. For no reason other than boredom and curiosity. It jingles again and he looks up- _Gordon._

He loses his breath for a few seconds and his heart pounds heavily in his chest- until the man turns out, _not Gordon._ "Fuck." Dean hisses quietly, his hands are shaky.

"Hi, Dean- I'm on my lunch break now, can I get you anything before we start?"

He looks at her- then at the guy who wasn't Gordon after all. "Uh yea, iced coffee." She nods and skips off to grab it for him. _Crap,_ he forgot to ask for decaf. When she comes back with his coffee- she assured him that it was decaf. 

"Of course I remember, you get decaf-" She smiles, sitting across from him. "What subject is the hardest for you?"

Dean opens up one of the links his teachers sent him so he could catch up, "Probably algebra-" he says honestly. Castiel watches the two teens interact from across the diner while they study. They look like two friends, which makes him happy. "Robin-" he says once they're done studying an hour later. "The kiss I gave you, sorry about that."

She surprises him by smiling, "It's okay, I _know_ who you really have the hots for." Dean looks confused and she looks over at Cas. "I'm not an idiot."

"Please don't tell anyone." Dean pleads quietly, there's an elderly couple sitting in the booth behind them. 

"Your secret's safe with me, Dean." She holds out her pinky finger, "Promise."

Dean smiles and they pinky promise. "Thanks, sweetheart." he stands up when she does, "So, friends?"

"Always." She surprises him again by giving him a friendly kiss on the cheek. Castiel sees it happen. When she goes back to work, he gets up and goes to Dean's table.

"Before you get pissed-" Dean grabs his laptop so they can leave, "I promise were just friends, she knows I don't like her like that."

"I trust you." Castiel kisses him on the lips once they get inside his car, "I know you're not going to hurt me again."

"And if I do?" Dean asks as he buckles in.

"I'd spank you." Castiel kisses him again, "But I know you won't hurt me." Dean smiles and spends the whole ride back to the Bobby's looking at the ring on his left middle finger. It's their _secret._ On the drive home, he hadn't noticed the teen in the car with him fidgeting in his seat the whole time. It's not until they get home and Dean's walking up to the house that he notices- he's walking funny. He ignores it, for now. 

Dean spends the whole day on his new laptop- reading and catching up on school assignments. They're relatively easy- mostly video lectures, quizzes and minimal note taking. He's enjoying the digital version of school and he's finding it much easier. He decides to have a quick dinner before heading for the shower- he just can't take it anymore. Somethings bothering him- he's been itching _down there_ the whole day. 

After the shower- he's limping to the kitchen to grab a snack and a can of soda when Castiel stops him. "Why are you walking like that?" Dean shrugs. "Tell me." he presses.

"It itches-" Dean looks down, "I got a rash, maybe it's Bobby's detergent-" they both know it's not that but they're wishing it was. 

"Can I see?"

"See what? There's nothin' to see, Cas. Fuck off." he grabs his snack and heads to his room. When his uncle goes to bed- Castiel comes in. "Cas-"

"You're worrying me." Dean looks at him with a confused expression, "Gordon may have given you something-" he said it even though he doesn't want to consider the possibility. "You should let me look."

Dean blushes, "Fine." and pushes his sweatpants and boxers down to his ankles- "So, anything?" 

Castiel sighs in relief, nothing abnormal. A little redness, but that could very well just be Bobby's detergent. "I think you're okay, but I still want to take you to a doctor tomorrow." The teen nods. In the morning, he takes him to the doctor.

The nurse takes blood from his arm as usual and checks his vitals, when she steps out the doctor comes in and he takes a look at him- "What am I looking at today?" he asks, Dean explains his humiliating symptom and the doctor nods while listening to his concern. He shyly pushes down his jeans to his knees to show his doctor the affected area, "Any recent sexual activity?" 

"Why? You find something?" Dean asks loudly out of fear.

The doctor laughs, "No, Son. You may pull up your pants." He takes off his gloves and throws them in the trash. "It looks like a mild case of contact dermatitis, you may be allergic to something- my guess would be a new body wash, lotion or detergent." Dean sighs and relief floods his veins when the man explains what that is. "I can prescribe a cream for the symptoms but I recommend you switch out the things I just mentioned."

Dean nods, taking the prescription before he goes to the waiting area where Castiel is. "Well?" his knee was bouncing with anxiety.

"Contact dermatitis." is all he says as they walk outside the doctors office, heading for the car. Surely he knew what it was so he didn't explain it to him. They head to the diner for lunch then and sit on opposite sides of each other.

"Hey Robin." Dean smiles, "Chocolate shake and fries." Castiel orders as well and the perky waitress leaves them be to go fetch their food.

"So-" Castiel clears his throat, "Think you might want to-" he looks down.

"I don't think so-" he says a little too casually, "The whole Gordon thing-and thinkin' he gave me somethin'-just freaked me out. Thanks Robin-" she shows up with their food.

The truth hurt him but it was to be expected, "I understand." he reaches across the table to hold his hand but Dean pulls away before he can. Castiel understood, he really did- so he makes the effort to be as patient as he can possibly be. Though late that night, when they're in bed together- Castiel puts his book on the nightstand before moving in for a kiss that's quickly rejected by the teen.

"Sorry." Dean whispers, "I just- don't see sex the same way."

"Meaning?"

"I sorta think it's gross." Dean sighs, "Not you, just-sex. I never thought catching anything was a possibility."

"I don't have anything, Dean." Castiel affirms him, his patience is running low at the moment- he wants Dean. He misses him... "Please-" he leans over and tries to kiss him, Dean refuses- he tries taking the kiss forcefully. Dean squirms and pushes him away-

"I said no!" Dean hisses, "No!" 

Castiel backs away instantly, "I'm sorry-I'm so sorry-I miss you."

Dean punches him in the arm - "I don't care. If I say no, it means fucking no." he lays back then, closing his eyes like nothing happened. "Turn off the light." Castiel does as hes told and he lays down but his guilt keeps him awake half the night.

When he wakes up he sees that Dean's already out of bed- he goes to the bathroom to splash some water on his face so he can fully wake up. When he opens the door- the sight before him does just that. "What are you doing?"

Dean's standing there with his boxers down just enough to expose himself - "Tryna put this shit on-" he hands Castiel the tube of the medicated cream. "The doctor gave me that for my rash."

Castiel smiles, handing it back. "Sorry, I'll go wash up in the kitchen."

"Wait-" Dean begs, "Can you put it? I'm scared to." Castiel can't deny him when this pink lips pout in that pretty way. "Thanks." Castiel gets on his knees in front of him so he's at eye level and all he can think about are all the things he's done for this boy. He's massaging the thick cream onto his skin when he notices that Dean's getting hard. "Sorry." he apologizes. 

Castiel shrugs, "All done." he smiles, setting the tube on the bathroom counter. "I'll make you some eggs-" he's just about to leave when Dean pulls him back for a kiss. A soft one. 

"I'm sorry for rejecting you." Dean says.

"I'm sorry I forced myself on you." Castiel says.

Dean waves it off, "Ah-no big deal, I'm not gonna break over a little man handling." he kisses the older man again, using his tongue this time for a few moments. "We good?"

Castiel shivers- "Always."

Today, Castiel tutors him and they spend hours doing his school work. Hes quite surprised that Dean's actually motivated to finish before the end of August. 

At night they sit down at the table to have dinner, Bobby made a delicious feast. There was chicken, biscuits, mashed potatoes with gravy and corn. It was southern heaven. Dean ate enough for two people and again he was surprised but nevertheless was proud of the progress. 

After dinner they watched a horror movie that had been on TV, though they didn't pay much attention to the storyline. Bobby was on the couch, drinking a beer and reading the newspaper. Castiel was on the recliner, looking through his old text book and Dean was sitting on the floor Indian style, texting Jack. Sam never did reply to his poor attempt to reach out a few weeks back. 

When the movie is over Castiel yawns before heading to his room and so does his uncle. He hadn't noticed they left or that the movie was over. Not until a bright flash distracted him. His eyes lift from his phone, towards the window. It happened again.

He gets up and draws the curtain back, another flash - before thunder crashed. It made the window he was looking out of vibrate. There hadn't been anything on the news about a storm tonight but he was still worried about it. Its not like back home where storms are just storms, here you get tornados.

Dean's heading down the hall for his room when a loud clap of thunder hits and hes heading for Castiels room instead. He pushes the door open, hes in bed reading. That nerd. "Hey."

Castiel puts his book away, "Come here." He willingly goes, he won't admit it but hes scared of the storm and his step dad must sense it.

As soon as hes under the covers strong arms pull him in close and hold onto him. _Home._ "Is there going to be a tornado?" Dean asks, Castiel's got the small bedroom TV on with the volume down completely.

"I dont know." He says honestly, his fingers brushing through Dean's short hair because he knows he loves it. "Go to sleep, I'll watch over you."

Dean nods, his vision becoming blurred instantly. The weather girl on the screen coming in and out of focus for a few seconds before everything went black and he was fast asleep in strong arms. 


	37. Darkness

"Need help studying?" Castiel asks the boy who was sitting on his uncles recliner on the porch. Dean ignores him or maybe didn't hear him- his eyes were glued to the wooden fence. The day had been a dark one with storm clouds hovering above and the wind was a slight hot breeze. "Dean?"

Green eyes tear away from the fence to look up at him, "Takin' the day off, Cas." and he looks back towards the fence. He hadn't complained of seeing anything abnormal the last few days- maybe it's _over._ "Just- gonna sit out here." his voice sounds absent and Castiel doesn't like it.

"What's wrong?" He leans against the porch railing- "You didn't eat breakfast today."

Dean sighs, "I will." he looks up at him again and their eyes meet. "But I could go for some coffee." Castiel nods and goes to grab him some from the kitchen, when he steps outside again- he's not on the rocking chair. His eyes look around a bit frantically until he sees the light haired teen walking along the fence. Why is he so _obsessed_ with that fence. 

"Dean!" He calls to him, holding up the mug. Dean waves him over so he goes to him- "What are you doing?"

"Walkin'-" Dean smiles at him, he follows him down the dirt road and it turns into a somewhat of a romantic stroll while they share the same cup of coffee. "What about you, Cas. You doin' okay?"

He thinks about it as they walk down the road. "I'm enjoying the break from work." is all he can think to say because _no-_ he's not okay. He would never admit that Dean's issues take a toll on him as well. Both physically and mentally. There's days he doesn't want to be brave or strong but he has to be. On their stroll, Dean takes his hand and they continue for a while before it starts to rain softly- "Crap-" They run back up the road hand in hand as they get soaked in the freezing rain- the mug of coffee they shared was dropped and forgotten on the side of the road.

They let themselves have this because Bobby wasn't home- he was supposed to be in town all day helping out a friend of his with a job. Both of them barged into the home- their clothes stuck to their bodies. "Cas-" Dean sighs heavily before the man pulls him in for a deep kiss- coffee flavored tongues fighting with each other as they kissed.

Their wet clothes peeled off and thrown in scraps as they made their way down the hall to the bedroom- it was going to happen again. _Finally._ The room was filled with Dean's gasps and sighs of pleasure as Castiel kissed, licked and bit at the skin on every inch of his body. When the teen wrapped his legs around him- he knew he was ready for more. He was counting on it because he needed more and it had to be taken _now._ "Ready?"

Dean nods, "Yea-" his eyes close tightly at the pressure he feels at his hole- Castiel pops inside and he almost cries. Not in pain but in relief. Dean was desperate to replace the memory he had by the train tracks with a new one. "Ugh- just fuck me-" he whines. "Fuck me hard-"

Castiel can't help himself and he pounds into Dean relentlessly- he tried to go slow or be gentle but he was encouraged to not stop, to go harder. So he did. Almost two hours of fucking later- they finally came. Neither of them had realized the sweaty and sticky mess they had become. The rain was still pounding on the roof even if they weren't anymore. It was a good thing they had the house to themselves- or they would have had a difficult time explaining this away.

Dean shivers- "You should probably take a hot shower so you don't get sick." Dean's biting his lip and his eyes are turning red and glossy, "What's wrong-did I hurt you?" 

"No-" the word barely makes it out of his mouth before his hands are clawing at Castiel for a hug and the tears come. "I'm so-I'm so sad-" he cries. He doesn't ask why, like he needs to- he knows _why._ He's sad because of that monster- not the shadow, but Gordon. 

"Dean, do you want to take a break-" Dean looks up at him, "From us?"

He looks like he's thinking it over, "No. But I think we shouldn't have sex for a while-it reminds me of-" 

"Okay, baby. I know- you don't have to say it." his hand rubs up and down the teens sweaty back. "Go take the first shower, I'll grab our clothes from the hall." he nods and he's off for the shower- leaving Castiel to pick up the mess.

Bobby came home right before dark- to find his guests at the kitchen table eating dinner. "Save some for me?" he asks, looking at the small amount of food on the table. Castiel gets up and serves him to a helping of pasta that he whipped up, along with some garlic bread. "Thanks. So, Dean. How was your day?" he looks over at the teen sitting at the table with them, but it doesn't look like he had eaten. Bobby stares at the crusts of the garlic bread on his plate.

A slight blush creeps up his body and it stops at his cheeks. "Good I guess, didn't really do much." His uncle nods and eats his food without asking any other questions. "Can I go to my room?" he asks, Castiel nods. 

Dean decides he should watch a few video lectures- what else is he going to do? He watches two long lectures and takes a few notes before calling it a night- though he realizes he can't fall asleep. His chest feels tight and his heart is racing. It doesn't take him long before heading to his step father's room, "Cas, you awake?" he whispers, it was after midnight. 

Castiel opens one eye, "What?" he says groggily. 

Dean comes in and crawls on the bed next to the grumpy man, "My chest feels weird." he says, hand over his chest.

Castiel places his hand over where his heart would be, "Your heart's beating a little fast. What were you doing?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "Well I wasn't doing _that._ I was tryna sleep." 

"How much coffee did you have today?" He has to ask, the last two days he's been drinking more coffee than he's been eating food. 

"Dunno, like three? What's that got to do with it- it's decaf."

"We don't have decaf." 

Then it clicks in his head, he orders decaf at the diner but at home- it's regular. He over did it without realizing. "Shit- remind Bobby to buy decaf next time. Fuck." Dean winces as he lays back, "It feels uncomfortable-"

"It's okay, baby." Castiel pulls him close, his hand slips under his shirt so he can rub at his chest. His cold fingers graze his nipples slightly every now and then. Dean closes his eyes and sighs softly like he's enjoying it. It doesn't take that long at all before his nipples harden, "You like that baby?" He didn't expect it at all but Dean moaned. "You like it."

"Mhm." Dean whimpers, they both look down at the tent in his boxers. Castiel smiles, his hand ghosting lower- into his boxers. He looks up into his eyes once more, seeking approval. When it's given to him- his hand wraps around Dean's cock and he begins to stroke slowly, lovingly. "Ugh-"

"Pressure okay?" Castiel asks, working him- 

"Yea-" Dean moans, "I wanna come-"

Castiel presses soft kisses to his chest- stopping at his nipples to lick them until they glisten in the dark. "Go ahead baby. Come for me." his hand starts to jerk him a bit faster until Dean tenses up, coming all over his hand and inside of his boxers. He lets the teen calm down before he retrieves his hand from the mess in his boxers. "Good?"

Dean squirms in his own mess, "Yea-think I woke up Bobby?" he asks, eyes focused on the bedroom door.

"You were quiet." Castiel smiles, knowing his touch just made the boy come undone. 

"Better go to my room, change-" Dean sits up and slowly slides off the bed- when he comes back, Castiel holds onto him while they both fall asleep. Dean's eyes open to a blurry picture before him- like he's under water. It only lasts a few seconds so he doesn't panic- when his vision clears he notices the same mug he dropped down the road from Bobby's. "The hell-" he sits up quickly, he doesn't know how it got to be on the nightstand.

Dean looks down at his feet - they're covered in mud that's now dried off and so are his hands. He can't tell if it's really there or not so he panics- "Cas- Cas!" 

Castiel jolts awake, his eyes focusing on the teen- Dean's looking at his hands and feet so he does too- they are in fact _dirty._ All Dean can think about is how dirty he got trying to claw away from Gordon that day by the train tracks. "Dean!" he shakes him so he can snap out of it, "What happened?"

Dean stills, breathing harshly- "I don't know-" 

Castiel sees the mug on the nightstand, "How- did you go outside and get that?" Dean shrugs, eyes wide in fear. "I think you were sleep walking-" he sighs, "That would explain all the mud-" he goes to the hallway and it's confirmed, the front door is wide open and muddy foot steps are trailing back to the bedroom. "Relax, you were sleep walking."

Dean sits on the bed, regaining his composure. "I've never done that before. You're telling me I sleep walked almost a mile just to get that stupid mug?"

"I don't know." Castiel says, "It's just a mug, it doesn't matter- go wash up, I'll make you some eggs." When Dean goes to the bathroom to wash off all the mud on him, he grabs the mug and throws it away. Dean comes into the kitchen, clean as ever. "Sit, I'll serve you in a minute."

Dean sits, "What if I sleep walk farther next time-"

"Like to the train tracks?" Castiel read his mind, setting a plate in front of him that contain eggs and toast. He nods. "I'll make sure that you don't do that." He kisses the top of Dean's head. "But I think I need to get you into therapy."

Dean groans, "Seriously? Everyone wants me to have panic attacks and be upset about my crappy life but guess what- I'm not." he stabs his eggs- the amount of ketchup he puts on them makes it look like blood. "I'm fine- I'm just sick or something. I've been sick- that's all."

Castiel nods, knowing that's not it. If he was _sick_ they would have found something by now. He's had quite a few blood tests done, all normal. Everything's _normal._

"And I don't have a friggin' eating disorder- I hear what they say about me, the doctors. I gained almost ten pounds-" he takes a sip of orange juice. "I don't need therapy."

Castiel watches him, all he can see is Dean's pale face- the dark under eyes. How his green eyes aren't as bright as they used to be. How his finger nails are a slight blueish color. He could cry right now but he smiles and holds it together, "Okay." 

"No therapy?"

"Sure, Dean. No therapy." He forcefully smiles and watches Dean eat the rest of his meal. He had made progress- but not nearly enough. After the next few nights were spent with Dean walking out of bed - mid sleep- and dragging mud into the house, Castiel set up an appointment with a local therapist. 

"I'm sorry." Castiel says when they park in front of the small office, "Please say something." Dean's been ignoring him for two days since making the darn appointment for him against his wishes. "Please don't ignore-" 

Dean climbs out and rushes inside the office ahead of him. Castiel sits there sulking for a good few minutes before heading in with him. He signs Dean in at the front desk and goes to sit next to him in the waiting area. Dean moves two seats away. "That's mature." Castiel mumbles. Five minutes don't go by before a women comes out to call him to her office. 

"Dean Winchester?" She says loudly. "Follow me." Dean gets up and follows her through the doorway. Castiel waits about an hour before the same woman is walking him back to the waiting area. "Dean, I'll see you in two weeks- please wait for your appointment card here." she gestures to the front desk. He nods. After getting his next appointment, instead of going to Castiel by the waiting area he goes straight to the car. 

Castiel quickly follows and waits until they're sitting in the air conditioning of the car before he asks- "How did it go?" 

Dean shrugs, his eyes were red like he had been crying. "Fine." He doesn't push it and decides to take him to the diner last minute before going back to Bobby's. Dean slams the car door with out saying anything yet again. When he goes inside the diner he sees Dean's already chosen a booth and sits across from him.

"What can I get you two?" Robin quickly hurries over to take their order. 

"I want the grilled cheese sandwich with fries-" he smiles at her. Castiel orders a burger and onion rings and they share a large coke and it's not a romantic gesture- Dean forgot to order something to drink. 

"Can you please talk to me?" Castiel asks when he's finished with his meal. "I can't stand it when you won't talk to me-"

Dean swallows, "She asked me about my dad." 

"What?" 

"The therapist- she wanted to talk about my childhood. She said we need to start from the beginning- she wants to get to know me." The vulnerability in his voice shows, "She wants to know _everything."_ The look on Castiel's face forces him to clarify- "I'm not going to tell her about us, relax." 

"Did you tell her about John?" 

Dean nods, wiping a stray tear that just had to fall when Robin brought over their bill- she didn't ask why he was crying. "Uh- yea. I had to- she said we can't work on what happened with Gordon until we work through my childhood." he sighs heavily after finishing the last fry on his plate. "I had to tell her he used to hit me.-" Castiel nods, "I told her he-well you already know."

"Dean, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry I asked." He reaches over to hold his hand and this time it isn't rejected. "I love you." he says quietly so the other customers don't hear it. 

"I love you too, Cas." He smiles weakly, "Can we go now- I really wanna shoot something." Castiel nods and pays the bill. Back at Bobby's- Dean quickly goes down to the basement to grab his uncles rifle and goes outside. He makes quick work of setting up beer cans on the wooden fence.

"That bad huh?" Bobby walks through the screen door, Castiel was sitting on the rocking chair- keeping an eye on the teen. 

"He had to talk about John."

"That's rough." Bobby sighs, his arms crossed at his chest. They both watch Dean for a while, Bobby gives up first and goes back inside while he stays. The day had been a breezy and sunny day until now- storm clouds were rolling by and the breeze had become a strong wind.

"Dean, time to go inside!" He calls out to him, "It's going to rain soon!" Dean shoots the last can and runs up to the house. They go inside and have hot dogs for dinner. Dean had two which made the adults very happy. When Bobby goes out back to finish changing the oil on a truck before the rain comes- Castiel leans over and places a soft kiss on the boy. "I love you."

Dean coughs, "Yea, I love you too." he shrugs away and gets up with his plate to rinse it off in the sink. 

"Something wrong?" Castiel leans back on his chair.

"No- I just hate talking about my dad and I friggin' hate talking about my childhood." he sits down at the table again and they talk for a while longer. The storm hadn't arrived yet- but the _darkness_ of the night did. Dean kept an eye on it through the kitchen window- this time when he saw it. It looked real. It wasn't a shadow anymore. "The fuck-" Dean blinks his eyes, looking over Castiel's head- trying to make out what he's seeing through the window. He stands- eyes trying to focus on the shadow.

"What?" Castiel stands up, looking behind him- out the window. "I don't see anything." 

Dean grabs the rifle that he had placed by the door and marches through the screen door- aiming at the shadow. "Son of a bitch-" Dean aims and pulls the trigger. Luckily enough he hit the wooden fence- because if he hadn't, he would have killed his uncle Bobby.

"Dean!" His uncle screams from the darkness, "What the hell are you doin' shooting at me boy!" 

"Think I just shot at Bobby." he says absentmindedly when he feels the presence of his step dad by his side in no time.

His uncle runs up the porch steps in a furry and steals the rifle from him with no mercy, "This is the last time you'll ever use one of my guns, you hear me?" Dean nods, biting his lip- he doesn't dare open his mouth. Not even to apologize. "You're outta control-"

"Alright- don't make him feel worse-" Castiel stands between them, he doesn't know if Bobby is capable of hitting Dean or not. Bobby curses once more at the trembling teen before heading inside for the night. "Dean-" he starts crying, "Hey-you didn't know it was him. It was dark- and Castiel wraps his arms around him,

"For fucks sake Cas!" Dean shoves him away, "I almost killed the only family member I have left and you're tryna justify it!" Castiel looks as if he had just been burned by fire, "You don't get it because you don't have any family of your own left-that's why you're all over me, that's why you're so obsessed with me!"

"Dean-" Castiel blinks away the tears that are burning his eyes, he's gone too far this time. "I'm-"

"I'm-I'm- what!" Dean screams, "You're part of the reason why I need therapy in the first place!" he storms inside and goes straight to the fridge to steal one of his uncles beers.

Castiel doesn't see Bobby or Dean the rest of the night and maybe that's a good thing. Early in the morning Dean comes into his room- "Hey."

Castiel turns over in bed, not wanting to face him- everything he said last night really hurt him. "I don't feel well."

"I didn't mean what I said last night- I was mad at myself, I could've killed him." Dean stays at the doorway in case he's told to go away. "I'm sorry-"

Castiel speaks up after a moment, "It's not my fault both my parents are dead." 

"Cas-"

"I'm sorry for thinking that after all these years we were family." A tear rolls down his cheek though Dean can't see it. "We're not family, I know- perhaps your right. Maybe if I never would've gotten close to you-"

"Cas, shut up." Dean sits on the edge of the bed and pulls up the older man by his arm so he's sitting- "We're family alright? I'm just angry. All this friggin' bullshit-" 

"I wish we could just be happy." For the first time- Castiel completely lets himself go. He cries- he cries hard and Dean holds him. "I'm sorry-"

"Cas-shh-" Dean holds the older man in his arms, rubbing up and down his back. "I'm here for you-I know I've been a nightmare this whole time. I'm so sorry-" the apology makes him cry harder but Dean doesn't say anything- he knows he's been holding it in for so long. After a few minutes Castiel peels himself away from the teen, "Better?"

Castiel shakes his head, "No." though there's a blush on his face- he does like those rare times when Dean can be there for him because sometimes he needs to let it go- he's been holding so much of his emotions inside in order to be strong for Dean. Because Dean was weak- Dean needed him more. He always had to be strong. "But I wasn't lying when I said I didn't feel well-"

Dean nods, "Can I make you something?" 

"Yeah, please." Castiel smiles weakly and presses a kiss to his boy's forehead. Dean makes a quick breakfast for Castiel- a simple omelette and a bagel with his coffee of course. Castiel devours the food in no time- "Thank you, Dean. I was hungry." 

Dean presses his hand onto his forehead- "You feel a little warm-are you feeling okay?" he studies the older man, "Be honest."

"I'm just so tired, Dean." He sighs, "Bring me another coffee and I'll get up-" Dean obeys, he takes the empty plate with him and comes back with his refill. "Thank you, let me grab a shower and I'll help you with your school work." When Castiel gets out of the shower he looks no better, he doesn't look _sick_ but he does look run down. Extremely run down and it makes Dean feel guilty.

"Cas, go relax-" Dean pulls his laptop closer to himself as he lays on the couch- "I don't need help today, please. You look tired."

Castiel winces and sits down on the sofa- "I've had a migraine all week-" he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"It's early- we should go to the doctor." Dean sits up, "Come on-" Castiel nods and they go to the same doctor they went to for Dean's rash. The waiting room was small and there was only two other patients- it didn't take very long before Castiel was called in- "I'll wait here." Dean says.

The doctor has Castiel fill out a few forms- the nurse weighs him- checks his vitals and even draws some blood. Castiel was waiting in a room for twenty minutes when the doctor walked in, "Hello, Mr. Novak- My chart says you're feeling fatigued?"

Castiel sighs, "For the last few weeks- yes."

"Migraines, headaches?" He nods, "Trouble sleeping?" He nods again, "Lack of appetite?" 

"Sometimes. I try to eat healthy-" 

The doctor looks through his lab results, "Everything looks normal- your blood pressure is a little high, have you been stressed lately?" Castiel chuckles, nodding. "Mr. Novak, I believe you're dealing with mild depression-"

"Depression?" He tries so hard not to roll his eyes, "I've never had depression."

"Depression can manifest itself in other ways, it's not always a feeling of sadness. You might feel tired, or you might have body aches. Perhaps migraines." the doctor sets aside the chart, "Anything going on that could be causing you depression?"

He doesn't know why but he tells the truth-well, a version of the truth. "My _son_ hasn't been doing very well, he's been going through a lot the past few months and watching him go through that- It's painful to watch and not be able to do anything about it." he knows he's being vague- but how can he tell this doctor- this complete stranger about Dean's eating disorder. How seeing Dean in the condition he was in pained him more than he led on. 

The doctor nods, "How have you been feeling the fast few days?"

"I've been feeling like-" Castiel sighs heavily, "Like I just want to sleep forever alright." The doctor nods again, they speak for another ten minutes before he's given a prescription. He leaves the doctors office with a prescription and a diagnosis of _Major Depressive Disorder_ and he doesn't intend on telling Dean or taking these pills.

"So?" Dean stands up when he walks through the door to the waiting room, "Are you sick?"

Castiel nods, "Low fever but I'll be fine in a few days." They leave and head to the diner for an early dinner- once there they order. Dean orders a milkshake and some fries and he gets the same thing. He's not that hungry today. 

"Cas. You sure you're alright?" He has to ask when they sit down and Castiel's just looking at his fries- "Do you wanna leave?"

"What? No." Castiel shakes his head and starts eating so he won't worry. The only thing on his mind is how he needs to beat this- he has to be strong so he can take care of Dean. They eat in silence for a while and Castiel forces himself to make an effort at some conversation- when they finish their food they head for the car. "Mind if we go to the pharmacy? I need to pick up some medicine."

Dean buckles in, "Sure Cas."When they get to the pharmacy, Castiel insisted he go inside alone- he's back within twenty minutes. "What's that for?"

Castiel starts the car, "Antibiotics." he lies. He doesn't intent on taking the medication- but it can't hurt to have it handy. Later that night- he's standing in the bathroom, analyzing the bottle containing his fake happiness. Should he take them? he's never taken anything like this in his life. Would it change him? That thought scared him to death. "What?" he says when there's a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hurry it up in there!" Dean whines, "Gotta go." Castiel hides the bottle in his pajama pants and exits the bathroom, "Finally!" While he's alone- he decides to take one. What the hell- he swallows one pill and instantly regrets it. Surely he could beat this on his own.

The following day, Castiel feels no different- except for the side effect of nausea from his new medication. It's the first and final time he will be taking that darn pill. "Cas-are you still sick?" Dean asks while they're sitting down for dinner- he hasn't eaten all day.

Castiel nods, "I'm going to bed."

"I'm worried-" Dean says when Castiel's bedroom door shuts. "I've never seen him like this."

"Probably just stressed-" Bobby says with a mouthful. 

"Stressed with that? He's not working right now."

Bobby rolls his eyes, "He's been worryin' about you for years- and lately-"

"Alright alright-" Dean's guilt grows even more, "What do I do?"

"Let him relax-" Bobby chugs his beer, "Don't give him any hell. Be a good kid." When the teen gets up from the table he adds, "Don't give me any hell either, boy." 

Dean goes to find Castiel in his room- he was laying in bed. "Cas?" Castiel looks his way, "You okay?"

"Dean, I'm okay." Castiel moves over a little bit to make room for him to get in- "I need you."

"You wanna have sex?" Dean smiles, "Shoulda told me before I ate too much-"

Castiel pulls him under the covers and holds onto him, "I just want to hold you."

"It really upset you when I brought up your family, didn't it." Dean says after a few moments.

"You don't know why do you?" he shakes his head, "My parents never wanted me to go to medical school, they wanted me to be a lawyer or a tax accountant. Something that didn't require so many years of school. I was away a lot and when my mom died-I wasn't there. I was in the middle of my third year and I chose to stay in school- no matter how much my dad begged me to come home, I didn't. Her dying didn't phase me until I got home that summer for break-" Castiel's voice cracks, "I-I miss her."

"Shit, Cas-" Dean whines in sympathy, "You must have been so stressed during school- you weren't thinking right-" he snuggles in closer to the older man.

"Dad was a mess for months-" Castiel continues, "It wasn't long before he-"

"Shh, Cas-" Dean cuddles in close, pressing soft kisses along Castiel's stubbled cheek- "It's okay-"

"I'm a bad person." Castiel wipes at his eyes.

"You're not-" Dean presses kisses to his lips now, wanting so badly to take away his pain. "I'm sorry for what I said- I didn't know-I'm-" and he shuts up when Castiel kisses back. "Love-you-" Passion over takes them both and soon clothes and being thrown off the bed but before they get to the good part Castiel pulls away and covers himself with the sheet to cover his exposed body- "Why'd you-"

"I can't."

Dean's confused, "Can't what-" 

"I'm not hard-"

Dean laughs, "Of course you're hard what do you mean-"

"The doctor gave me something to take and-I can't." After Dean asks what he was given, he has to come clean. "I was prescribed antidepressants."

Dean looks at him with confusion. "You're depressed? About what?" Castiel gives him a hard look. "-Right. Is there anything I can do?"

"You can start by getting yourself better- it'd relieve most of my stress." he clears his throat, "All of it actually. You don't know how hard it is to watch you struggle like you have been- I worry about you like you were my-"

"I know-" Dean smiles sadly. "I'll do my best to get better-"

"That's all I ask." He kisses the teens forehead, "I miss your laugh-" Castiel suddenly admits, "You used to laugh so much-"

"I don't remember ever being happy." Dean sighs. 

Castiel doesn't like hearing that- "Never? Not even when I would take you-"

Dean snorts, "Like when you would take me to the mall or the movies?" The man nods, "It would have been more fun if you weren't on your phone the whole time-your work gets in the way of everything."

"Were things really that bad?" Castiel feels guilt swimming in his belly, of course it was that bad. All the early mornings and late nights. Most of the time he would leave for work before Dean's even woken up and he'd come home so late. 

"Yea-I spent every night alone." He swallows and hates that telling him this is making him emotional. "You didn't exactly cook dinner for me or go to my parent teacher meetings-I was always so damn lonely and it's not like we ever really did anything cool together. Cas, have we ever gone to the beach together? Or camping?"

He pushes his tears back, "I didn't realize-"

"I get it Cas, you're a busy guy but I need you." He gulps, "I want us to do things together, as a family."

"As a family?" Castiel repeats, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Well yea, we can't really be a couple yet." 

"I'd enjoy that- how about we go to the beach soon?" Dean smiles and agrees to the beach trip. 


	38. Sunset lovers

"If anyone asks, I'm eighteen and you're not my step dad-" Castiel opens his eyes, the sun is blinding him- "You're my boyfriend, got it?" before he can react Dean's kissing him right on the mouth, in public- in broad daylight.

Castiel breaks the kiss to look around- he's clearly not used to being out in the open with their affection. His eyes look around at the other beach goers- no one's staring. There's no cops being called on him for kissing a minor. No one cares. 

"Will you fucking relax." Dean lays back on the beach towel, it's big enough for both of them so Castiel's right next to him and he's loving it. "I'm not the only one with an older boyfriend, it's no big deal."

"I suppose you're right." he pulls the boy on top of him- "In that case, kiss me again." They make out for a few moments before getting tired- it's not as romantic fooling around in this heat while screaming children run by every two minutes. They spend a few hours laying in the sun and worked up quite the tan. Or sunburn, it's too early to tell. Castiel booked a hotel room by the beach for two days- it's a holiday weekend and he wanted Dean to have a good time. They both needed it.

The rest of the afternoon is spent in their room, enjoying the air conditioning and the California King sized bed. That would prove to be fun later that night- Castiel hopes. When the sun begins to go down and the beach goers have gone back home or to their hotel rooms for the night he suggests they go for a walk by the shore. It's so different- here, they can be a couple. Granted, Castiel is much older but no one here knows them- no one can tell his partner is under age. 

"This is gay." Dean laughs as they walk down the shore, sand between their toes and fingers laced together. "But I like it."

Castiel smiles, "I think it's romantic." he looks over at his love and he thinks Dean looks so handsome and sweet in the pale orange glow of the sunset. He has to stop and kiss him right then, "I love you." he whispers against his lips.

Dean sighs dreamily, "I love you too." they kiss again briefly before he pulls away, "You taste good-"

Now Castiel laughs, "Do I?" They resume their romantic stroll- "You make me very happy." he says after a while- his eyes are focused ahead.

Dean being the typical teenager, gets flustered- "Yea, me too." 

"What?" Castiel loves seeing him blush- "You wanted to be a couple, couples say these things."

"I'm still-I don't know what to say." They keep walking- the waves splash their ankles softly.

"How do you feel about me?"

"Uh- I think you're awesome." Dean says surely. Castiel laughs. "Fine, I'll work on being more romantic-"

"Be yourself." Castiel reassures him, the suns completely set by now and he sits on the sand- pulling the teen down with him. "I've dreamed of days like this-" he says before kissing him again. It's slow and tender- Dean whimpers into his mouth. It feels good. It feels _normal._ Things begin to get hot and heavy and this time it feels different- it feels like Castiel is treating him like an equal. Like a partner. He's not being extra careful- not assuming every gasp or whimper is one made in pain or fear- it's _nice._

Dean giggles, "That tickles, Cas-" he squirms under the heavier man that now pins him against the warm sand- "Cas-" he sighs then, his warm lips kiss at his neck and it feels amazing to him. "Ugh-I like that-"

"Wish I could take you right here-" Castiel whispers in his ear, his instincts are to ravage his love but his mind forces him to be careful- he's only seventeen. When he pulls away from his neck he sees him looking sweet and biting his lip- "Fuck-"

"I'm really horny-" Dean whispers even though no one's around and it's completely dark now- His hands are rubbing up and down Castiel's chest in eagerness. 

"Let's get back to our room- fucking on the beach isn't as sexy as it seems." Castiel winks, "Too much sand." Dean blushes and they hold hands all the way back to their room. Once inside, Castiel shuts the door and locks it. Dean plops down on the large bed, on his stomach. He's tired from laying out in the sun most of the day- his eyes close when he feels Castiel pulling him to the foot of the bed by his ankles. It makes him whimper.

Dean rolls over onto his back as Castiel undresses before his eyes- he gulps. "We're gonna?"

"Scared?" Castiel smiles, "It's not like we haven't done it before-" he's completely nude now and he's waiting for him. "Don't be scared baby."

Dean shivers because he's a little scared, he's not sure he's ready for grown up sex. Even when they have rough sex- it's been pretty tame and mild- Castiel always takes into consideration that he's still a teenager and goes easy on him. Rough has never really been that rough- but now, they're here- where no one knows them. They can be a couple here and he's not sure what that entails sexually. Will Castiel treat him like an adult and no longer be gentle with him- his mind is racing and he can't stop it.

"Dean, have I ever hurt you?" Castiel asks him when he looks like he might cry. Dean shakes his head, his lip caught between his teeth. "How about-" he sits down on the bed, "I lay down and you do whatever you want to me. We'll do what you want, at your pace."

Dean thinks about it as they both move up the bed so they can be comfortable. "I'm in control?" Castiel nods, "Okay." he smiles, his hand runs up and down the older mans hairy chest- "You're so sexy Cas-" his hand trails down- rubbing and grabbing at those thick thighs- "So sexy-" eventually his hand wraps around his hard cock- he begins to stroke it firmly. 

Castiel groans loudly- one of the perks of being in a hotel. Sex is expected and no one cares. "You're so good at that-" it's not long before Dean's head lowers over his cock, he licks at the head. "Suck it-" the words slip from his mouth and it's exactly what Dean does. "Fuck, Dean- so good-mmm-" his hand grips the light brown hair softly, he tugs reassuringly. It didn't take long before he felt like exploding in that soft wet mouth- "Get up here-"

Dean's pulled up onto his lap- "Ride me." he's so turned on while watching Castiel fumble with the small bottle of lube- any fear he had has completely left his body. "Ready?" he asks him. When he nods, Castiel helps guide Dean's ass over his cock until it slips in and they're both surprised by how easily it slides in. "M-God-" he groans.

They fuck slowly, his cock pushing in deeply- earning a helpless moan from Dean each time it hits that spot. "Ugh-"

"I'm not gonna last long-" Castiel says through gritted teeth-

"Ugh- thank god, I'm gonna come-" Dean says urgently- Castiel nods and they both explode. The next time Dean opens his eyes it's morning- he didn't even remember falling asleep. "Morning-" Dean snuggles against Castiel's back- "I'm hungry."

Castiel's shoulders move slightly indicating that he's laughing, "There's a cafe in the lobby-"

"Good, I'm starving." Dean kicks off the sheets and gets up, Castiel enjoys the view of his bare ass as he waddles to the bathroom. After they've both had a quick shower- they go to the cafe and sit across from each other at a small table by a window. 

Castiel orders for the both of them and their food quickly arrives. "This is nice." he says, taking a sip from his latte. "Isn't it?"

"Yea." Dean smiles as he tries his best to act like an adult. He's wearing an outfit that Castiel picked out for him- a dark green polo shirt and khaki shorts. He feels ridiculous but Castiel insisted he looked nice- he even combed his hair. "I feel stupid wearin' this-" 

"You look handsome- stop." While they eat, Dean looks around at the other hotel guests- no teenagers. It's mostly all couples or families with kids. It makes him feel a little out of place. "I love spending time with you, especially like this- not having to hide." he takes his hand in his.

Dean looks at their joined hands, "Yea-me too."

"Dean, we're not doing anything wrong."

"It's just so weird not sneaking around-" he looks down at his khaki shorts, "Listen Cas-we're not gonna become one of those couples who dresses like they're going golfing all the time are we-"

"Do you miss that Metallica shirt that bad?" 

He doesn't like look on Castiel's face- "No, sir."

Castiel laughs, "Try again."

Dean looks around at the guests enjoying their breakfast, no one is watching. Or listening. "No _babe_ , I don't miss that shirt." 

"What was that?" 

"Shut up it hurt my teeth to say it the first time." Castiel leans over and kisses him, he flinches. "It's not you, this is just-"

"Different, I know. In a few months- this could be our life." He takes a sip from his latte. "After you turn eighteen."

Dean blushes, "Cheers-" and lifts his latte mug so they can toast to their future. "I-I care about you Cas."

"That hurt your teeth too?" he teases.

"If you don't stop I'll bite that dick off." he teases back.

"Ouch." Castiel laughs, "How will I fuck you then?"

"Right-" Dean smiles. 

"Been a long time since you've laughed this much." Castiel finishes his latte and digs in his wallet for a tip for the waitress- "Ready to go?" Dean nods and they head outside- hand in hand. He hadn't noticed that Dean had brought a black baseball cap with him- he puts it on. "Why are you wearing that?"

"The sun- duh." he feels blue eyes on him- "I think it makes me look older."

"You don't have to look older, we're fine." Castiel wraps an arm around him as they walk down to the beach- not many people were out today. The sky was dark and it was windy- it looked like a storm was coming in the distance. "But you do look cute-" he stops and they share a lingering kiss. They were both pleased to see they weren't the only same sex couple out today. 

"Tomorrow's fourth of July-" Dean says, breaking their kiss. "What do you want to do?"

Castiel runs his thumb over his young lovers chin- "I'm having so much fun just being with you."

Dean hides a smile by looking away, "Cas-you're making me feel funny. Stop it." They watch the waves crashing into the sand for a while- until it starts to rain they run all the way back to their room, hand in hand. Once through their hotel door, Dean sneezes three times in a row. "Fuck-" Castiel hands him a tissue. "I hope I'm not getting sick." 

"Take a hot shower." Castiel orders, Dean goes- but asks him to join so he does. The showers hot- steam fills the room and they make out under the spray. "Feels like we're on our honeymoon."

Dean snorts, "Don't get all gay on me now." he begins washing Castiel's chest with the soapy loofah.

"You wouldn't marry me?" Castiel asks and the teen shrugs. "You don't love me enough to marry me?" he teases, kissing his wet hair.

"You know I do-" Dean now runs the loofah over his strong shoulders, "Why would you want to marry me?" he asks, his eyes looking up into blue oceans. "I'm a mess-l-I'm just gonna be a burden."

"Dean, you have got to start thinking more highly of yourself. You're a great kid-and you'll turn into an amazing man soon. I have faith in you." He can't tell if the droplets running down his cheeks are tears of water, "Besides, marriage is for better or worse."

"Yea, alright." Dean smiles and sneezes again. "Shit." he curses and they finish their shower. The conversation about marriage was quickly forgotten or put on hold. Knowing Castiel- he'd bring it up again some day. That night in bed, they snuggle under the covers and watch a movie. In the morning, Dean wakes up sneezing even more- "Fucking hell-"

"I'll go buy you some cold medicine, I'll be back." Castiel smiles, leaving a tissue box at his side. Dean nods. When Castiel comes back, he's got the medicine he promised and an herbal tea. "Take this first-" he hands him the medicine- once he takes it he hands him the herbal tea. "Drink this."

Dean takes a sip. "Why do people drink tea- doesn't taste like anything." he continues to drink it though, for his sake. "Sorry I ruined-"

"Stop talking, just drink. Tonight- if you're up to it, we could watch the fireworks." 

Dean nods, "Sure Cas." 

Fourth of July is spent in their hotel bed- eating junk food and watching movies on the TV. When evening comes, fireworks start popping in the distance. "Feeling up to watching them on the beach?" he asks, stretching his limbs.

"Yea." He blows his nose one last time and gets up and pulls on a hoodie as per Castiel's request. They hold hands while they walk to the shore, couples are scattered everywhere and the fireworks are blowing up in the sky. It's beautiful. "Wow-" Dean stops- a particular firework in the sky caught his attention. "I liked that one."

"It wasn't as pretty as you-" Castiel's eyes focus on him rather than the sky, it makes the sick teen blush under his gaze. "Dean, you've always been so pretty."

"Shut up Cas." Dean sits down on the sand that still feels warm, and Castiel sits behind him- wrapping his arms around him in a loose embrace. "Love you." Dean leans back against the strong chest that holds him up. "Always." he adds.

"I love you more." Castiel kisses the top of Dean's head. "You don't know how much."

Dean smiles a goofy smile, knowing he can't see his face. "Look-" he points at a huge pink explosion in the sky. "I loved that one." They watch the sky for a few hours- other couples have started to leave- "Cas?"

"Yes?" He holds him tighter.

"I wish we could stay here forever-" he swallows the knot in his throat. "I'm so happy when we can be ourselves."

"I know what you mean." Castiel's voice sounds sad as well, "Soon- I promise." and he doesn't have to make it clear- they both know what he means. "Soon." Dean nods and they share a few kisses under the last few explosions in the sky. They're walking through the sand- back to their room when Castiel suddenly stops and gets down on one knee- "Dean-"

"Uh- don't do that!" he hisses, giggling. "Stop!"

Castiel rolls his eyes, "Dean, I'll do what I want." he kisses the teens cold hand. "If I ask you to marry me some day, say yes. Alright?" Dean nods, no longer giggling. "You'll say yes?" he asks again.

"Yea." Dean smiles weakly, "I'll say yes- if you ever ask me." When he stands, they kiss once more before going back indoors where it's warm. That night Dean fell asleep in his hoodie and his dreams were filled with fireworks flashing behind his eyelids and the sand between their toes. 

"Morning sunshine." Castiel kisses his lips before he's even woken up, "Feeling better?"

Dean shrugs, kissing back. "I-" the memories of last night come flooding back- Castiel wants to marry him one day and he wants to cry. "Cas-"

Castiel looks at him with a worried expression, "What wrong baby?"

That does it, the word _baby_ always makes him feel like mush- "Don't friggin' call me baby when I'm tryna be serious!" he hisses through un-shed tears.

"Why are you so emotional, baby?" he laughs and it earns him a soft punch to the arm. "I'm sorry baby- sorry-" he gets punched again. "So I can never call you-that?"

"Yea but it makes me feel like a girl-"

"I see, it gives you butterflies." Castiel presses a kiss to his neck, "Doesn't it baby?"

Dean moans, "Fuck you." 

"Don't worry- I will, when you get better." he whispers against his skin. "I better get our stuff ready so we can head back-" Dean groans again, "Love you, baby." He hatefully watches the older man pack up their things- he wishes they didn't have to go back so soon. While checking out Castiel turns to him, "I promise we'll do more things together, maybe next time we'll go camping- something fun."

Dean smiles, "Awesome." They're leaving the hotel when he speaks up, "No breakfast?" 

"No breakfast."

They aren't on the road for an hour before Dean's whining about how hungry he is. Castiel says they'll eat soon. They'll stop somewhere. But all they see is long stretches of road, no fast food places. No restaurants. "Cassss- I'm hungry." he whines once more, Castiel looks over at him- sitting on the passenger seat with his sneakers up on the seat as well, getting sand on the leather. 

Dean's still whining when Castiel sees a small taco stand- it looks more like an old shed than a taco stand. "What about tacos?" he pulls up to one of two parking spaces. 

"Too sketchy." Dean murmurs, looking at the taco shed. 

"They have chips-" Dean gets right out of the car to go order from the bearded man standing at the window. 

"Uh- I'll have those." Dean points to a bag of hot cheetos, he gets a coke too. Castiel gets chips too and a soda as well. The tacos turned out to look a bit suspicious, packaged snacks were their best bet. Once back on the road Dean's crunching sound begins to annoy him, "Friggin' hot-" he slirps on his tongue because it's spicy. His nose becomes runny too. When he's done, he tosses the bag on the black carpet that now has red cheeto dust all over it. "This trip was nice-"

"Pick that up." Castiel orders. Dean does. "Yeah it was nice."

Dean picks up on a weird vibe, "What?" No response. "You mad at me for somethin'?"

He didn't know why but he was ticked off, he was annoyed. "No."

"Then pull over and fuck me." Dean says, seriously.

"I can't do that-" 

"So you are mad-"

Castiel pulls over by the side of the road- no one else is around. All that's around are trees. Castiel gets in his face, "Shut up." Dean swallows, "Do you like making me mad?" he basically growls right in his face. 

He's a little scared but he knows Castiel and that lessens the fear. "You're so sexy-" Dean pulls the older man close enough to kiss by his shirt collar. "Need you-"

Castiel swallows, "Maybe I'll give it to you when you don't piss me off." he pulls away from the teens grasp and resumes driving. Dean's stunned- he was turned down. 

"But Cas-"

"Can't you be quiet for one minute?" he snaps back. Dean doesn't say a word the rest of the way back to Bobby's. When they arrive, Castiel steps out of the car and takes their bags inside while Dean follows quietly behind him. 

"Bobby!" Dean roars, looking through the home for his uncle. "Bobby! We're back!" His uncle barges through the back door, covered in oil. 

"Hey boys." He greets the two, Castiel is still in his bitchy mood. After he washes up he serves the pair a couple of beef hamburgers for lunch. "Forgot how quiet it gets round' here with no company. Glad you're back." he says, now that they're all sitting at the table together.

Castiel eats in silence, Bobby notices. "What's up with him?" he asks Dean even though the man is right there. He shrugs. "Castiel, everything alright?" he nods before wiping his mouth on a napkin and getting up. "You do somethin' to him?"

"I didn't do anything to him- he's weird."

When Bobby goes back to work on a car Dean decides to go find out whats bothering his step dad. "Cas-" he walks into his room. "Why are you being a bitch?" he crosses his arms at his chest. "Tell me or I'll never have sex with you again."

"Fine, don't have sex with me." he snaps. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean that."

Dean sits down on the bed- "So why were you mad before?"

"I don't know- I feel like I lose control of myself sometimes, but I shouldn't take it out on you."

Dean shrugs, "It happens. You know what, I could go for ice cream-" he changes the subject because he really is hungry again. Castiel smiles. After they kiss and make up, they go to the kitchen to grab some ice cream to enjoy on the porch as the teen suggested they do. As the sun sets Dean sighs longingly from his rocking chair- "This doesn't beat the ocean-" he looks over at the older man.

"It really doesn't." Without thinking twice- Castiel leans over and licks the melted ice cream off of the teens lips, Dean giggles and pushes him away playfully. What they didn't realize- was that Bobby had seen that brief exchange. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table with a beer when he caught them through the window. The rest of their time on the porch is tame, no kissing, nothing. But it only took that brief moment- the moment Dean's uncle witnessed for him to become suspicious.

He watches from the window- observes how the two interact. They look like your average father and son, but what was that before? Bobby's confused. He could expect that kind of silly behavior from Dean, if he had reached over and licked ice cream of Castiel he may not have given it another thought. But Castiel did it. He licked ice cream off a teenagers mouth.

"Castiel." Bobby says when they walk in through the screen door. "You up for a beer?"

He smiles, "Sure." while Dean goes to his room down the hall. 

"How's he doin'?" he says casually, like he didn't see anything. He's trying to figure out how to ask him about it. Should he? "He seems to be doin' real good these days."

Castiel sips his beer, "He's been alright-"

"Listen-" Bobby sits up, leaning closer. "Dean isn't a little boy anymore- I don't think it's normal for you to behave the way you do round' him."

He's taken by surprise- "Excuse me?" that sounded more defensive than he meant. "What are you talking about?"

"You-" Bobby looks at him in the eyes, "Licked my boy-I saw it."

"Excuse me?" he repeats, still defensive. 

"I saw you!" Bobby hissed, "You were lickin' Dean's mouth like you were tryna kiss him-" C _rap._

"That-we were just messing around." He rubs the back of his neck- Bobby stares daggers at him. "What do you think is going on?"

The bearded man shrugs, "Dunno- you tell me. Are you messin' around with my boy-"

Dean walks into the kitchen then, completely unaware of their conversation. "We got any snacks?" he begins looking through the fridge, cabinets next. Both men stay quiet while he looks. After he finds something-"You two better not get shit faced like last time-" he orders before leaving back to his room.

"Well, are ya?" He asks again when he's gone.

Castiel hesitates for a moment, "No. Of course not- we're just close."

"Alright then- don't let me find out different. You basically raised him- don't be hurtin' him." Castiel nods like a child who just got yelled at in front of the entire class.

That night he can't sleep- Bobby's threat lingers in his mind. He's hot. He's itchy. He can't stop tossing and turning in bed. He had faked a headache earlier when Dean tried to come into his room to _talk._ After a while he decides maybe a cold shower will help him relax. When he made his way across the hall to the bathroom he heard the television had been on. Probably Bobby watching something. He'd find out soon that it wasn't him.

In the shower- he sighs heavily. The cool water runs down his hot skin and it feels amazing. His hair is lathered and he's working on his body when he bathroom door creaks open. He pauses and listens- "Yeah?"

Dean pulls open the shower curtain gently, "You okay? Why you takin' a shower at three in the morning?" he looks confused. Worried even.

He can't help but smile, "I'm fine, it's too hot in my room-" and resumes lathering his body with his hands. Green eyes stare him down, he doesn't notice until he opens his eyes after rinsing off his hair under the water. "What?"

"Nothin'-" he keeps looking, a faint smile on his sweet lips. 

Castiel wants to- he wants Dean But Bobby's suspicious now and they need to be careful- _He_ needs to be careful. "Go to bed." he smiles, last thing he needs is to upset him and have him run off crying down the hallway. 

"It'd be easier to sleep if I could come-" 

Castiel resists the urge to moan, biting his lip instead. "Rain check? Still got that headache-" Dean nods and is about to leave, "Hey-" he looks back at him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Dean turns and closes the door. Castiel sighs in relief. There can't be any more accidents. No more slip ups. They can't get caught and especially not by Bobby. When he finally manages to fall asleep- he dreams of the sand between his toes and _Dean._


	39. Fools in love

"You're breaking up with me?" Dean sobs silently, Bobby was just outside fixing a car. 

"Of course not- we'll talk later." Castiel looks over at Bobby who was now wiping his hands on a rag- indicating that he was finished working. "Fix your face- damn it." he says urgently before leaving him alone with his breakfast.

Dean wipes his eyes before his uncle can see he had been crying. "You finish her up?" he looks over to the car out back. Bobby nods and sits down to his eggs and bacon- completely oblivious to his dried tears. He looks over helplessly at Castiel sitting on the couch with his coffee. "So Bobby, you gonna go drop off the car?" 

"Sure am, I'll be back before dark. Looks like rain again today-" he chugs the rest of his orange juice before heading out for the day. Dean looks out the window- it did look like it would rain. When the coast is clean Dean marches to the living room. 

"So what- you wanting to marry me was a friggin' lie?" Dean crosses his arms at his chest. "Answer me." Castiel hasn't opened his mouth before- "You're a coward."

Before he can storm out the door Castiel pulls him close, "I'm what now?" Dean gulps. "Say it to my face." Dean shakes his head. "That's what I thought. I don't take back anything I said on our trip and I'm not breaking up with you so you don't need to cry." he wipes away the falling tears with his thumbs. 

"Then why did you tell me we can't-" Castiel kisses him to shut him up- "What's going on-"

"Bobby saw me-" he looks down at his lips- "On the porch."

"He knows!" Dean hisses, his face pale. "Oh my God- he threatened to shoot you didn't he- son of a bitch Bobby-"

"No he didn't and he doesn't know!" he hisses back, even though the house is empty except for them. It's a habit. "He thinks me being close to you is weird."

Dean walks out the screen door and Castiel follows, "We can fix this." he starts biting on his nails, "We just act casual- like nothings going on. Treat me like shit- okay? like my dad would." that makes them both sad, "Come on Cas- if you're too nice to me right now he'll think somethings up."

"I don't want-"

"You gotta do this Cas." Dean pleads, "You gotta be my dad- you gotta be less like you and more like my dad. It's the only way you'll fool him- I know Bobby and he's gonna be spying on us. If you slip up-"

"He'll figure it out, right." Castiel nods, sighing a heavy breath. "Alright, I'll do it." Dean leans in close- "No kissing." Dean whines, "Fine." They make out on the porch for a while until a distant roll of thunder makes them part, "We have to be careful." 

"Yea-" Dean sighs, "I get it."

"I mean it, Dean. No crawling into my bed at night, No more sneaking around-" he licks his lips while looking at Deans, "No sex, we can't do anything. Not while he's home."

"Fine!" Dean groans, "When can we have sex?"

Castiel smiles, "I can fuck you right now, before he gets back." After their quick fuck, Dean passes out and so does Castiel. They don't know how long they had been sleeping for- they only awake when the front door slams shut. _Bobby._ Castiel's eyes shoot open and he's quickly kicking the sleeping teen out of his bed, "Get out!" he whispers harshly, "You have to go! Bobby!"

"Damn it-" Dean scrambles out of bed and rushes to put on his boxers before running to his bedroom.

"Dean-" Bobby calls. "The heck you doin' runnin' around half naked?" 

Dean stops running, "It's fucking hot in here and you don't have central air." he plays it cool. 

Bobby shrugs, "The AC in your room wasn't busted last time I checked. The one in Cas' room workin' fine?" he asks, too focused on the food in front of him he's eating. 

"What-" his mind goes blank.

"Cause you're always sneakin' off to sleep in Cas' room, figured it was cooler in there-"

Dean tries his best not to panic. "Yea- his room is cooler. That's why- you know- I go there- a lot." He forces a smile and it's painful. "Uh- well I'm gonna go-brush my teeth. Get ready for bed." he laughs nervously.

"Dean." He turns around like he's busted. "It's only six, already turnin' in?"

He exhales the breath he was holding, "Yea- I'm gonna go to sleep. I get tired when It's so hot- humidity-"

Bobby rolls his eyes, "Boy just get the heck outta here- let me eat in peace." 

"Yes sir." he gives a little bow and doesn't know why he's so weird. "Bye." he runs to the bathroom and locks the door. Dean takes his time brushing his teeth for fear of encountering his uncle again. He hides in the small room until he hears a bedroom door closing. "Thank God." he exits the bathroom, looks both ways to make sure it's safe and he makes his way to Castiel.

"What happened?" Castiel whispers when Dean peeks his head in. 

"Made an ass of myself- but we're clear." He falls on the bed face first. "How the hell are we gonna keep him from finding out?"

Castiel sighs, "We'll have to stop doing what were doing, for real." Dean whimpers. "Come here, wanna kiss you good night before you go." He crawls up and kisses him briefly, "I love you, don't forget." Dean nods before heading to his room for bed. He looks at his bed and it just looks so big, it makes him sad. 

Dean falls on his bed and passes out before he even realizes he's fallen asleep. Until he starts to dream. All he sees are shadows- they're surrounding him- moving all around him. He's dreaming, he's sleeping but it's making him dizzy. Suddenly he feels like he's fallen off the top of a building- his eyes open before he crashes. 

He's panting and sweaty- the sheets stick to his half naked body. "Fuck." he huffs. His eyes look around the room- the window's open and the branches outside are casting all kind of shadows into his room. He quickly gets up and turns on the light- the clock read three in the morning. Dean considers going to Castiel's room- but decides against it. Instead, he heads to the kitchen and opens the knife drawer where he knows his uncle keeps a pack of cigarettes. He takes only one and a lighter- after making his way out to the front porch he lights it up.

One inhale. One exhale- and the nerves are melting away. He's convinced himself he doesn't like smoking- he just likes the taste of menthol. He smokes the cigarette in peace- it's dark outside and it's completely silent- except for the occasional rustle of wind or the hoot of an owl he can't see. He hadn't realized he'd been staring at a shadow by the fence until the cigarette burns his fingers- "Fuck!" he drops it and stomps it out. His eyes dart back up to look at the shadow- it's only the shadow of a tree nearby. "Losing my freaking mind out here-" he says aloud to the night. 

Again without realizing- he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. When he wakes up, he squints at the amount of sunlight in his room- he blinks and suddenly it's dark again. He looks at the clock and its almost seven but he can't tell if it's morning or night. Dean rolls out of bed and wanders through the house in search of life. He's feeling like he slept for days. For some reason he begins to think he's in some crazy alternate dimension or something until he hears the familiar laugh that belongs to Castiel- it's coming from outside. As soon as he opens the screen door he sees the two men sitting on lawn chairs by the fire.

"What's goin' on-" he slurs, his eyes adjusting.

They both look at him but only Castiel speaks- "Hey. I tried waking you but you wouldn't wake up- you were asleep all day." 

"Well fuck." Dean pulls up a lawn chair so he can sit with his family. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"I know you took one of my cigarettes boy." Bobby says. "Don't be smokin'-"

Dean nods, "Sorry." He feels strange and his head kind of hurts- like he'd been drinking. The longer he listens to the two men talk he realizes he was _sad_ but he didn't know why. The sadness was out of place- maybe it was that dream he had.

Castiel notices that he hasn't said much but he can't make it too obvious so he simply asks- "Dean, you okay?" he wants to hug him, kiss him, but Bobby's right there and he's already suspicious.

"Yea." Dean hauls himself up. "Gonna go make a sandwich or somethin'-" he's not hungry but the heat from the fire is making him feel worse.

Castiel glances through the window every now and then to check for Dean- he disappeared for a while but when he appeared again- he wasn't making a sandwich. He was sitting down at the kitchen table drinking coffee, simply staring down at the mug in his hand. Normally he'd go inside, ask whats going on or offer comfort. But he can't show any affection, not while his uncle around- when he could be watching their every move. Any move or gesture could be taken as _too friendly_ and he could very well shoot him indeed for messing with his boy.

"Cas?" Bobby sips his beer, "How about it?" Castiel squints at him in confusion, he hadn't been paying attention to a word he's said since Dean went inside. He repeats himself, "Don't ya think it'd be nice to get out of the house and all of us head to the beach together?" _The beach._ "What about next weekend?"

"Sounds great." Castiel lies, toasting to their trip the following weekend. There's nothing more he'd love than to go back to the beach with Dean but this time he'll be off limits thanks to his uncle. "Can't wait-" They converse for a while longer, the beer bottles were now empty and Bobby had dozed off in his lawn chair. He looked over through the window and Dean's still sitting there nursing the same mug.

Castiel gets up from the lawn chair and goes inside to the kitchen, "What are you doing?" The teen shrugs, "Come on, talk to me." 

Dean looks up at him, "Bobby's gonna find out. It's just a matter of time-" Castiel sits down, being careful not to sit too close. "He's gonna figure it out and he's gonna shoot you-"

Castiel smiles, "He's not going to shoot me, calm down. We're fine." But he doesn't know that for sure. "I've been taking care of you for years, I'm sure I can convince your uncle there's nothing weird going on-" At that point the screen door slams, Bobby's walking in- just a tad drunk. Neither of them move. "I was telling Dean about our plans next weekend- the beach trip."

Dean blinks in confusion but plays along, "Yea, I can't wait." 

"Should be a hell of a time." He yawns and grabs some water before heading down the hall.

"What beach trip?" he asks when he thinks the coast is clear.

"Bobby thinks we should all go down to the beach next weekend. I told him how much fun we had on fourth of July-"

"Great-" Dean forces a smile, "Just great." He gets up to refill his coffee mug, "You better pray for a friggin' hurricane or somethin' cause I sure as shit don't wanna go."

"Language!" Castiel hisses, Dean sits down again- "You know that's regular-" and he spits out the coffee all over the table.

"Damn it- I told you to get decaf for me." Castiel gets up and with a handful of paper towels he cleans up the mess. "I had three."

"Don't come crying to me when you can't sleep tonight." He smacks him on the head playfully and it's a good thing too because Bobby had been spying on them for a while. Satisfied that nothing strange was going on- he went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Dean yawns despite all the sleep he had. "I'm gonna go lay down, see you tomorrow." and he's about to lean in for a kiss but instead he pats him on the shoulder. Castiel sighs and cleans up the kitchen before going to his room. 

Bobby exits the bathroom that very moment, "Cas." Castiel stops dead. "Jus' wanted to say I'm sorry for thinkin' somethin' was goin' on with you and Dean." Castiel's eyebrows raise slightly at the apology. "I was listenin' earlier when I came in- you're a darn good father." he pats him on the shoulder as well. "Even if you aint' his blood, you're still his father."

Castiel lies painfully, "That means a lot to me." what comes next surprises him more than anything. The bearded man hugs him tightly, "Ugh-" he groans, "Bobby- can't breathe." The man lets go, laughing softly. 

"Sorry but had to thank ya for takin' good care of him for me." They both nod respectfully to each other before heading their separate ways. Castiel rushes to his room to call Dean, he's got to talk to him and this is the only way. _Please be awake._

Dean quickly picks up, "What?"

"Dean-"

"Miss me so much you called to have phone sex?" he laughs.

"No!" he whispers, "Listen, I feel like crap-"

"You wanna go to the hospital-"

"Oh my God you're an idiot-"

"Jeez Cas you sound just like my father- good job."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry okay? But I feel like shit because of Bobby."

"Did he threaten you again?"

He rolls his eyes, "Worse. He thanked me for being a good father to you."

Dean laughs, "Well you have been. Alright Cas- because I love you so much and I don't want you to have a heart attack because of me I'll do you a favor."

"What!" he hisses.

Dean laughs again, "I'll try not to be so sexy alright, that way you won't want to fuck me all the time."

"I'm going to kill you." Castiel whines into the phone. "But I guess that would help me stay away from you. After all he suspects me not you." 

The next morning Castiel sleeps in until noon because he didn't fall asleep until early morning due to the heat. The lawn mower outside stirs him awake a little before one in the afternoon, he goes to investigate and sees Dean shirtless as he cuts the grass for his uncle. "Thought you were trying to not tempt me-" he mumbles to himself.

"Want some iced coffee?" Bobby's voice makes him jump, he didn't see him at the table. He nods and he's poured some coffee into a glass with ice. "Too hot for regular.:

Castiel sips on it, "It's good." 

"Cas- how you been doin?" Bobby smiles, "Dean said somethin' about you goin' to the doctor for depression." He nods. "Takin' the meds?"

"I tried them but they just made nauseous, couldn't eat all day." Bobby nods and puts down the newspaper he was reading. "Got alotta work to do, tell Dean lunch is ready for him when he's done. I made chicken and potatoes." He nods again. When he goes out back to work on another car he goes outside to the sweaty teenager with a glass of iced coffee. Bobby assured him it was decaf this time.

"Hey!" He calls out to Dean, he cuts the lawn mower. The world falls silent yet again. "Brought you something-" He takes it. "Bobby said it was decaf."

"Finally." Dean sips his coffee and chews on the straw a little bit. His eye's follow every movement of that pink pouty mouth. "Cas- my eye's are up here."

Castiel shakes his head, "If you didn't want to tempt me, you're failing." he licks his lips, his eyes looking over the sweaty body not five feet from him. "You're not even trying-"

Dean laughs, "Alright, I won't shower for a week. How about that? Stink so bad you won't want to go near me."

"I guess." they talk by the wooden fence for a while, until Dean finishes the iced coffee. "And Dean-" he says before going back inside the house, "Don't stay out here too long, you know what happened last time." The teen nods. It's no surprise Dean didn't come in for lunch, but when dinner time came around Bobby went outside and yanked him all the way to the kitchen table by the arm. 

"Easy!" Dean's pushed down in his chair at the table, "Was gonna come in anyway-no friggin' trust in this house." he mumbles before taking a bite of his pizza. "Hmmphh-" He moans almost sexually, "So good."

Castiel closes his eyes and ignores it as best as he can. When they're done- "Dean, take out the trash." he orders. Dean looks at him, "Now."

"But-" The glare on the older man's face is enough to have him taking the garbage out with out another word. When he comes back, Castiel orders him to do the dishes that were in the sink. "What!" 

"You heard me." 

He does the dishes with anger, not caring if the dishes clank together or threaten to break- after drying them off he looks at Castiel and Bobby. "This is child labor." Both men roll their eyes.

"Did you do any schoolwork today?" 

"You've got to me kidding me!" he hisses, "I was cutting the grass! And doing everything else-" Bobby ignores their exchange and goes to watch television in the living room. 

"Relax, do it tomorrow." Castiel's tone changes the second his uncle is out of the kitchen. "Do you think he bought it?"

Dean whines loudly, "You were just trying to make him believe- ugh- fuck you."

"Say it louder-" he urges.

"Fuck you Cas!" Dean storms off to his bedroom and Castiel gets up and joins Bobby on the couch.

"Damn boy has got a mouth on him." 

"Sometimes." He smiles as he takes a sip of his soda. 

"I wouldn't worry bout' it." and he doesn't. If they want to keep Bobby from suspecting something is going on between them they have to act like real father and son and that does include some arguments. Dean knows. Dean agreed to this. Everything should be okay. _He hopes._ When Bobby goes to his bedroom for bed- he waits an hour before going to see Dean. 

He opens the door slowly. "Don't be mad at me-"

Dean looks at him from his phone. "I'm not mad, I know we gotta act like father and son but just wish you told me when we were gonna start foolin' Bobby." Castiel sits on his bed, "I miss you Cas." it melts his heart but he can't do anything about it. Not when his uncle seems to have eyes on the back of his head. "Can't you kiss me?" his bottom lip sticks out in sadness. "Please?"

Castiel sighs and gives in- he scoots over to the laying teen and plants a kiss on his mouth. A soft one. "Dean, I have to go." before he can move to get up he's pulled down for another kiss. A deeper one- Dean's wet tongue slips into his mouth and he moans softly. They french kiss for a few minutes before he pulls himself away painfully, "I have to go."

"Yea-" Castiel gets up, "Wait-" He turns around, "Tell me you love me."

"Dean, I love you. Nothing is going to change- even if I yell at you in front of Bobby or tell you to do something. Remember I love you." Dean nods sadly, "He can't find out about us, not before you're eighteen. Do you understand?" The teen nods again. "Goodnight, Dean." he leaves and shuts the door gently.

The next afternoon Castiel and Dean are sitting on the couch catching up on his school work. "You can do it. Look, if you get this answer- what could be the result?" he asks the dumbfounded teenager as they try to work on a few science questions. "Dean-pay attention." he shakes his head, blinking at the screen. They work together on the computer for a long while, so long in fact that he doesn't realize when he starts to play with the hair on the nape of Dean's neck. He doesn't notice until Dean squirms away because it started to tickle. "Sorry."

"Keep doin' shit like that and Bobby will catch us for sure." He says softly, his uncle was in the kitchen making dinner. "Great- now I have a boner." he says that part quietly too. Castiel looks down at his crotch and he does have a boner. "You know what, fuck you Cas." he gets up with the laptop and goes to his room. They both know he's going in there to rub one out before they sit down to eat. Maybe he should too, he gets up and goes to the bathroom before they're called to dinner. 

After they've _released_ themselves, they join Bobby for dinner. "I love hot dogs, Bobby." Dean mumbles with his mouth full and it makes Castiel snort. 

"What's so funny?" Bobby asks, taking a bite of his.

Castiel shakes his head, "Nothing. So Bobby, we still on for that beach trip?" he changes the subject.

"Ah shit- fraid' not. Got too many cars to finish before the weekend." 

Dean visibly sighs, relaxing. "Why don't we just do somethin' here- like camp out back. There's woods about a mile away from here."

"Oh no- you don't wanna go campin' there." Bobby shakes his head, "If you think it's creepy out front at night, by those woods- no way in hell I'm goin' in there."

Dean leans closer, "What's in there Bobby?"

"Bigfoot." Bobby laughs.

Dean laughs, "I get it, scared to see your old man huh?" Bobby smacks him on the head, it was meat to be playful but it stung. "Fuck Bobby I was just playing!"

"You callin' me fat boy?"

"No!" Dean yells. "No Bobby! You're just- very hairy." that makes them all laugh. They're having such a good time that Dean forgets, lets his guard down. It just slips- "You should see Cas- he's a friggin' gorilla-" he doesn't notice the two men staring at him. Bobby for one reason, Castiel for another. It's too late, it's out- he said it. "I mean- I seen Cas at the beach. He's hairy- that's all I meant. You know- because he didn't have a shirt in the water." Castiel and Dean gulp while they wait for his response.

Seems like he bought it because Bobby says- "I thought gay men didn't like body hair." and digs into his second hot dog. Both Dean and Castiel exhale. 

"Never got into waxing-" Castiel goes with the conversation. "Tried it once, it's painful."

Bobby nods, "Cas- when did ya know you were gay?" he asks and it stuns them both.

"In my twenties-" He's honest about it, no point in lying. "I've dated a few women before-"

Bobby nods again, "Dean's told me he might be gay-" They both glare at him. "You mind givin' him some advice some day? Dunno how the hell to give the _talk_ to a gay boy."

Dean wants to fade away in that moment. "You think you might be gay?" Castiel questions him, like he didn't already know he liked dick up his ass. "Hmm?"

"Uhm- did I say gay? I meant bisexual. Way to go Bobby, can't keep a secret to save your freakin' life. You sure do gossip a lot for how macho you are-" he crosses his arms at his chest. Both Bobby and Castiel laugh at him. "I hate both of you!" Dean gets up and goes outside. They keep laughing.

Bobby leans in closer to Castiel, "You know, I ain't gay but I do enjoy gettin' a pedicure once a month. It feels nice-" 

Castiel laughs again, so hard his stomach hurts. "Yeah I bet- maybe we should all get pedicures sometime-" 

"We should. The salon I go to, there's a pretty lil asian lady who works on my feet- Dean would like her." Again it makes him laugh, 

Castiel goes outside to meet Dean on the porch with a bowl of ice cream and a slice of cherry pie- "Here. I'm sorry-" he has to bite his lip so he doesn't laugh again. To change the subject and take the heat of himself he says- "You know your uncle likes to get pedicures?"

Dean glares at him, "You're kidding-"

He shakes his head, "Really, he just told me. Thinks the three of us should go get one some time-"

The teen snorts, "Cas- I may like to get fucked but please don't insult me like that. I like dick but I'm not that gay." He laughs, "Fuckin' Bobby- think you know a guy. Never thought he'd be into getting his nails done."

"By a little asian woman."

Dean barks a laugh- "Fuck that's just so funny- I'd love to see that. Think he gets a stiffy when she does his toes?" 

Bobby approaches the screen door to defend himself, "You know I can hear you two makin' fun of me. Quit it!"

"Sorry Bobby." They say in unison. Dean starts chowing down on his pie and ice cream, "Cas-" They make eye contact. "I have therapy tomorrow-"

"Do you want to go?" Castiel asks.

"Uhm, obviously not but I gotta." Dean finishes his ice cream in record time and sets the bowl on the floor. "I need to get over all this shit so I can be happy. I do wanna get better-"

"Are you really saying this?" Castiel smiles, he can't believe it. 

"Well yea, if I wanna do that auto tech program I have to get better." Castiel listen's intently, "God-" Dean sighs dramatically, rubbing his hand on the back of his head. "What the hell happened to me. I was fine- I swear I was fine-I know I had my problems with food but I never-fuck." 

"It's okay Dean." Castiel sits on the other rocking chair, he really wants to hold him but eyes could be watching. "Do you think you felt bad because you weren't eating?"

"That's not it- I never told you but I starved myself longer than you knew. When I was little I would do it, I thought I just didn't eat because we didn't have a lot of money but I was always hiding food or throwing it away." Castiel nods, "I was always so sad- I always felt like crying and never knew why. I would wait until something bad happened and just use that as an excuse to let it out. One time, I fell off my chair in class cause I was screwing around and I cried so hard when dad picked me up." Dean sniffles, "He asked why I was so quiet on the ride home- I told him what happened and I just cried. He didn't say anything-"

From the looks of it, he looks like he might cry right now. "Dean, I'm sorry he never comforted you."

Dean shrugs and continues, like he's been wanting to get things off his chest for a long time. "I would beg to go home when I was in school- I wanted my mom so bad, all the time. She'd come get me but I never felt better. I never felt like my parents were my parents-" He wipes the tear that just fell, "I made up a story in my head about my real parents, that maybe one day they'd come get me but they never did so I gave up on that. I was friggin' miserable Cas-" 

Castiel wants to offer some comfort but they're being watched, Bobby's sitting at the kitchen table- all he can see is Dean's head so he doesn't know he's crying. "When mom left, dad hit me. It was so bad until you came along- you saved my life Cas." he wipes another tear that fell.

"Dean-" his own eyes begin to water but he pushes them back because Bobby can see his face.

"I mean it- you saved my life. I don't even think I like dudes-" He laughs softly, "I think I just fell in love with you because you saved me. You don't know how alone I felt, I felt like I was drowning- I wanted to ask for help at school but I was too scared. I didn't wanna go live with strangers so I never told on him-"

The second he sees Bobby get up and leave the kitchen is the moment he gets up from his chair and hugs his boy- "I love you so much, Dean. So fucking much." He whispers in his ear while they both cry. "I'm never leaving you."

Dean nods, "Cas- If you never met my dad, I don't know what would have happened to me. I-I probably would have kill-"

"Don't say it." Castiel kisses the top of his head. "Please don't say it." When Dean seems to have calmed down he lets go and wipes under his wet eyes. "Don't think about that. We're here, together. That's all that matters." Dean nods, "You need to get some sleep, you have therapy tomorrow at nine."

The next morning they're waiting for Dean to be called in for his appointment. Dean's knee keeps bouncing up and down with nerves. "Dean, relax. Nothing to be scared of."

Dean looks at him and he stops biting his nails. "We're supposed to talk about my dad today."

Castiel wraps an arm around him and it's an easy thing to do, they're sitting next to each other in the waiting area. "Just tell her what you told me. She's not going to judge you, she's there to listen." Dean nods and right then the therapist comes to the waiting area and calls his name. "Good luck."

An hour later Dean comes out into the waiting area and yet again his eyes look red and glassy like he had cried. "Come on, let me buy you breakfast." Dean nods. They drive to diner in silence, Castiel knows not to push him right now. Instead he gives him space and time. When he wants to talk, he will. As soon as they walk through the familiar diner, Robin comes over to escort them to their usual table. 

"Call me when you're ready to order." She smiles before she goes to the kitchen.

Dean and Castiel sit across from each other like usual- the little bell on the door jingles- it's Bobby. "Bobby!" He calls out to his uncle and he quickly turns around. "What are you doing here?"

"Just gettin' a coffee and a breakfast sandwich to go- one of my friends in town needs some help today so I'm goin'-" Dean nods and he checks his watch, "Runnin' late already, see you two later." 

"We can't seem to escape him." Castiel speaks up after Robin brings their food to the table.

Dean's pouring too much cream into his coffee and mumbles- "Yea I know." he looks distracted. 

"You're not going to eat?" He's almost done with his breakfast and he's barely touched his. "Eat a little at least." Dean manages to eat all his eggs and his toast, he mostly just sips on his coffee. "What's wrong?" he asks after a while. 

Dean leans back against the booth, "It just sucks talking about stuff." After a moment, "Cas, you got depression- how do you deal with that?"

The bluntness of the question makes him laugh softly. "Having you helps."

"I have you too and it doesn't help-" _Ouch._

"Dean, we're different. I'm not as put together as you might think but I'm an adult and I have to act like it- I can't throw tantrums." 

"Like me you mean?" Dean huffs.

"Well, yeah. They'd throw me in jail for anything- enjoy being a minor where you can still get away with acting out." 

Dean smiles- "I guess." he laughs. "Remember all the fights I got into-"

"Don't remind me-" Castiel groans, "You were such a pain in my ass."

"You still loved me." Dean smiles, his appetite comes back and he starts finishing what's left on his plate.

"I did, Still do." Robin comes over with their bill, "Thanks Robin, food was really good." he pays the bill and she goes. "Ready to go?" Dean nods. "When's your next appointment?" Castiel asks casually when they get in the car.

"She wants to see me every two weeks." Dean buckles in and moves to mess with the radio. Castiel nods and they drive home without saying a word, mostly because the radio was too loud. Dean set it on a station that only played classic rock- needless to say he had a migraine by the time they got back to to the house. It wasn't a surprise when they got back and Bobby's truck wasn't parked out front. They had the house to themselves but they didn't know for how long. Better to play it safe.

Dean walks in and quickly goes to his room to do some work on his laptop while Castiel cleans up around the house. "Cas-" Dean comes out onto the porch right before sunset, Castiel was on a rocking chair enjoying more of Bobby's iced coffee. He leans against the porch railing- "Sam called me."

Castiel's brows shoot up in surprise, "He hasn't spoken to you since-" Dean nods, his face flushing red. "I hope he knows what we did was a mistake." Castiel looks down in shame unwilling to speak more about him. They didn't talk about it and may never talk about what happened with Sam that night on his bed. "What did he say?"

"Said he went by the house-" Dean hesitates. "He didn't know we were gone for the summer-uh-"

"Dean, what?" He grows impatient. 

"He said our house was broken into-" They both know what that means. "He thinks-"

"-Someone broke in, like your father-" Castiel stands up and starts pacing around the porch, "I changed the locks, I even paid for a damn security system." He chuckles out of anger, "Miserable son of a bitch-"

"Hey-" Dean yanks on his arm to get him to stand still, "I wasn't there this time-I was safe." 

"Yeah? What if he comes here Dean!"

Bobby was already home by now and when he hears all the yelling from outside he approaches the screen door, "What the hell is goin' on?" Castiel's fuming so he doesn't answer. 

"We think he broke into our house again." Bobby looks confused, "I got a call from my friend back home, he went by the house thinking I was there and saw the door wide open, stuff was missing."

Bobby sighs, "Your dad shoulda' stayed in the damn army. He's nothin' but trouble- been stealing from others for as long as I can remember." 

Castiel laughs and it's angry, "I wish he had-" but when he sees the look on Dean's face, the look of rejection- his anger melts away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Bobby looks at them both, "So what do we do-"

"I don't want to go back home-" Dean sits down on the rocking chair.

"What about Jack- and Sam?" Castiel asks, both men lean against the porch railing. 

Bobby clears his throat before Dean can respond, "You know- you two could always stay here with me. I could use the help-but if you need your space, there's a house for rent about a mile from here."

Dean and Castiel look at each other- thinking it over. Castiel speaks up, "I don't want to go back either- but I'm worried about Dean being too lonely here. There's no one but Robin around for him to be friends with-"

Bobby pats him on the back, "Weren't you sayin' Dean wanted to get into that auto tech program? There's bound to be someone his age in there. Don't worry about the boy so much, he'll be fine." Castiel nods.

"Dean, do you want to move here?"

Dean grins, "Hell yea!" and right now he doesn't care what it looks like but he gets up and hugs his step father with all he's got. "I can always visit my friends back home but-" he peels away from Castiel, "Friends are nice, but _family_ means the world to me-I choose my family." he hugs his uncle next in that same way. 

"Johns place is in your name now isn't that right?" Bobby says when he brings the other man a beer- Dean's gone off to bed by now. "You gonna sell?"

"I'm thinking I should just rent it out to someone, if John breaks in while someone else is living there- they'll call the cops." Castiel smiles, "I don't want to let go of the house just yet but doesn't mean someone else can't live there in the mean time."

They toast and enjoy the silence of the night. What they hadn't noticed was the all too real shadow peeking from behind one of Bobby's trees near the wooden fence. It was watching them- it was waiting for _Dean._


	40. Black Dahlia

"In a minute!" Dean aims his rifle- Bobby finally let him use it again, under strict observation and he kept his promise. Bobby watched him from the porch all day and when he went inside for dinner, he watched from the window. He shoots the last beer bottle and it shattered. Dean wipes his sweaty forehead, aside from the day being overcast it sure was humid. "Coming!" he yells again, shooting a few rounds at a tree. Just for _fun._

There's rustling in the distance and his neck snaps to where the sound came from- he's aiming his rifle- he's not going to shoot anything but it makes him feel safe. "Get a friggin' grip man-" he whines to no one. Dean takes a few steps in the direction of the house when he hears it again- he stands still. He doesn't move, only listens. He looks at the window to make sure both his uncle and step father are in the home. In case he does shoot- he doesn't want to kill one of them. He's about to step forward when he hears something else and he turns around- rifle ready. Just in case.

"Son of a bitch-" Dean says softly, "Come out-" 

Almost like the shadow heard him, it peeks out and he sees it. But this time it looks real. It looks solid. He's not imagining it. 

"You!" Dean yells and the shadow runs down the dirt road- "The fuck- hey!" he takes off after it and it's probably not the smartest idea- the sun was going down for the day and It was already getting dark. "Come back here, bitch!" he screams after it and he instantly stops running when the dark figure stops right in the middle of the road. It's too quiet and his boots are glued to the ground. "This is private property-" he says, "You better leave- I have a gun."

The dark figure makes a run for it and Dean raises his rifle - shooting the thing in the leg. He wanted to aim for the head but his hands were shaking, he's never shot at a live person. The figure groans and goes down to the ground quickly. Dean runs up to it and aims for the head this time, "Turn around, slowly."

The figure turns around slowly, his hands raising once it's on it's back.

Dean blinks furiously at what he's seeing, he can't believe it. All this time it was _him._ "Dad!" he screams, "The fuck are you doing here!"

John raises his trembling hands, "I-I miss you-I had to come visit my boy."

Dean laughs bitterly, "I'm not your fucking boy- you made my life hell. You stupid son of a bitch, I should kill you right now!" the rifle is aimed at his biological fathers head. 

Both Castiel and Bobby heard the gun shot- it had been the loudest thing to come through the night. "Dean!" Castiel shouts, "What are you doing! Who is that-" he stops dead next to Dean. "What-" John laughs, he's pressing his hand onto his gunshot wound to try and stop the bleeding. He's looking more and more delirious with every passing second. "What are you doing here!" he screams at the man before his eyes roll back and he's out.

Dean kicks his fathers unconscious body with his foot, "Fucking psycho-" Castiel yanks him away from the body. "Let me go! I wanna kill him-" His uncle and Castiel yank him back to the house before calling an ambulance for his father. "Don't call for help! Let him rot out there!" He's hysterical and Bobby has to give him a sip of whiskey just to get him to calm down. He's forced to stay inside the house while they go to John and make sure he doesn't leave while they wait for help. Bobby lives quite a distance from town so it takes the ambulance thirty minutes to show up.

The paramedics load John up into the ambulance when Castiel clears his throat, "I'm going with him." Bobby asks if he's sure about that, he nods. "Just take care of Dean." Bobby nods. John's passed out the whole ride to the hospital, apparently the bullet hit an artery or something- Castiel wasn't paying attention to anything going on around him. He's not even sure why he decided to go with him. 

At the hospital John is quickly admitted and a team of nurses hover around him- asking him questions now that he's woken up. John lies, saying he doesn't know who shot him. It's the least he could do for his son- not send him to prison before his eighteenth birthday. One nurse draws blood, another sets up his IV while a different nurse starts cutting his blood stained jeans off his body with scissors. He's escorted outside because they need to figure out how bad he's been wounded- he hopes it's bad. It's not long before he's allowed back inside the room with John- a doctor tells him everything about his condition, he nods politely like he cares but he's not paying attention. He doesn't care. 

Once alone Castiel laughs softly as he's looking at John. His unofficial ex. "You're an idiot." 

John gives Castiel a handsome smile- "That's why you loved me." 

Castiel snorts, "I never loved you."

"Bullshit-" John moves around in the bed as he tries to get comfortable, "Bet you still care about me." He snorts again, not making eye contact with his former lover. "Why are you here if you don't care?" 

Castiel shrugs, "I wanted to watch you die." he lies. "Why have you been spying on Dean? You know you really scared him- he's been thinking he's going crazy. Almost every night he saw you out there-"

"Yea I know-" he smiles again, "I watch over my boy. It's how I knew you were fucking him-" Castiel rubs the back of his neck, "You're no better than me, you're doing the same thing I did-"

"I don't beat him." Castiel looks at him with so much anger, "Whatever we do- it's mutual." he knows it doesn't justify anything, they both do.

"Tell me Cas." John clears his throat, "Does Dean crawl into your bed every night asking you for kisses too? He did the same thing to me-"

"Shut up-" Castiel's on the verge of tears, "What is it going to take for you to leave us alone!" he hisses. "Do you want money, is that it?"

John shrugs, "Sure, give me some cash and I'll never bother you again. Either of you." 

Castiel steps closer to the bed, "How much?" 

"How much you got." 

Castiel pulls out his wallet right then and there, looking through his bills- "I have nine hundred on me-"

John whistles, "Damn Cas, I shoulda stayed with you." he sticks out his hand, "That works. Gimme."

"You're disgusting." He hands him the money. "I hope we never see you again." The disgust in his voice actually hurts him almost as much as the bullet in his leg does. 

John holds out his hand, "Good doing business with you Cas." 

Castiel stares at the hand, and takes it- soon as he does John pulls him down and kisses him- tongue and all. He quickly pushes himself away- "What was that!" 

"Kinda miss our drunk make outs-" John licks his lips and begins counting his money. 

Castiel wipes the saltiness of John's kiss from his mouth with the back of his hand, "You- I hate you and Dean hates you too." John laughs, shoving his sudden windfall in the breast pocket of his hospital gown. "If we see you again, I'll kill you- and If I don't, Dean will."

"He's gonna shoot me again- I'm sooo scared-that kid can't even shoot straight. He got me in the damn leg."

"If he misses, that's fine- because next time there won't be an ambulance save you." Castiel walks out of the room and John just watches him walk away for what might be the last time. He hopes to God it's the final time they ever see him again. If they never do, it'll still be too soon. He goes to the waiting room and to his surprise- finds Dean and Bobby there. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't take your car-" Dean stands up, he'd been crying. "Did he die?" He shakes his head. "Of course he didn't- friggin' roach." He's pacing around the waiting room for a few seconds before charging towards the double doors that would lead him to his father.

"Get him!" Bobby hisses, they both go after him and they each take an arm to hold him back by. "You're not going in there- forget him."

"I can't-I have to see him-" Dean struggles to free himself from the two men, "Let go!"

"Behave-" Castiel says in his ear, "Before you cause a scene-" Dean looks around and there's a nurse ready with the phone in her hand to call for help. "Let's just go-" He nods and they help him all the way to Bobby's truck that's parked in the lot. "Let's get you something to eat."

"Not hungry." Dean scoots over to the middle of the seat as Bobby starts the truck and Castiel gets in behind him. 

"You didn't eat all day-" Castiel tries again, "Please?" he leans in close enough to whisper, "For me?"

Dean sighs, "Fine but I want pizza." Castiel looks at his phone- it's only ten so they stop by somewhere to pick one up. Dean waits in the car while they go inside the small pizza place. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he quickly answers the strange number, "Hello?" who could be calling him. "Hello?" he repeats. 

"Dean-" the familiar gruff voice comes through the speaker. "Can you hear me? God I was hopin' to see you-"

"For what?" Dean watches his uncle and step dad through the glass window of the pizza place. He feels frozen, he wants to hang up but he can't. A part of him wants to listen to what he might say. Even if it's bullshit.

"Don't you wanna kiss your old man?" Dean shakes his head as if he could be seen, "Don't you miss me? I sure miss you. It's been so long- remember our showers together? Remember our kisses?"

Dean actually gags before he drops his phone, when he picks it up the spell his father had over him was broken and he hung up. No way in hell was he going to eat right now. 

"Dean?" Castiel opens the truck door, pizza in hand. 

"Fine- I'm fine. Let's just go home." At home, he has one slice and calls it a night- saving the rest for tomorrow when he knows he'll be hungry. He'll have forgotten what happened today. His fathers words on the phone affected him more than shooting him did, that he enjoyed. "I'm gonna go to my room." he smiles sadly. "Night Cas." Castiel waves at him like a dumb ass. Maybe when the coast is clear he'll go give him a good night kiss.

When he's sure Bobby won't be up and about anymore he goes to Dean's room and doesn't bother to knock, he simply opens the door slightly to peek inside. He's awake. "Hey-" he steps inside, shutting the door carefully so it doesn't creak. 

"What are you still doin' up?" Dean looks at the time on the screen of his laptop, almost two in the morning. Castiel sits on the edge of his bed.

"I could ask you the same thing. What're you-" he takes the laptop from Dean and sees that he was watching some kind of cartoon porn. "Dean- how could you be in the mood to watch this right now?" He shrugs. "Come on, go to sleep." he shuts the laptop and sets it on the table. 

Dean fluffs his pillow before laying back on it, "Night Cas." 

"Don't I get a kiss?" he leans closer, "Come on, don't you miss me?" before Castiel can kiss him- he gags- the tone of his voice sounded just like his fathers. "What's wrong with you?" 

Dean swallows, "Can you just go? I'm tired." Castiel nods and leans in again for that goodnight kiss, Dean gags again. "Ew go away." he pushes him back. 

"What?" The look on his face is obviously of hurt, "What's wrong?" he smells his breath thinking maybe it was the garlic breath. "Do I have bad breath?" he doesn't know why that would even matter- they've kissed with morning breath, bad breath, all kinds of breath. 

He shakes his head, "No I just don't wanna kiss right now." he pulls the thin sheet up to his nose. "Please just go Cas- It wasn't a good night." The older man nods sadly and leaves the room feeling rejected. Dean grabs his phone, going to his recent calls. He blocks the number- John must have called him from his hospital room. All he can think about most of the night as he tosses and turns in bed is how is he going to face Castiel with the words his father spoke to him vibrating in his ear and he hopes he doesn't love Castiel only because he's got _daddy issues._ If no one ever hurt him, would he even have fallen for Castiel, the one who rescued him? 

As the night goes on, he still can't sleep. His thoughts are buzzing around in circles in his mind, would he have a girlfriend instead- if no one ever hurt him. If his father didn't touch him or kiss him. Would he have ended up with Jo? Would he have married her- lived an apple pie life- a normal life with her and two kids. Maybe a few dogs in their back yard. He wouldn't be messing around with his step father, he wouldn't be sneaking around or having to hide.

Somewhere in the midst of his rampant thoughts he had fallen asleep. He didn't know when. When he opened his eyes next, it was morning. Or afternoon. He groans as he drags himself out of bed because he doesn't want to get up. He'd love nothing more than to stay in bed, doing nothing. Just hide away for however long it took for his life to be fixed. For his life to be normal- but it never will be. Castiel is at the table having coffee, "Morning." Dean says in a barely audible tone as he moves to make himself some coffee as well.

Castiel looks up from his newspaper for just a second before refocusing on it. Dean sits down with his coffee and toast- "You ingnorin' me now?" He is being ignored. "Okay Cas." he eats his buttered bread in silence, when he's done he goes back to his room to change.

The next time he comes out, twenty minutes later he's fully dressed. Now Castiel pays attention to him. "Where do you think you're going?" he puts down his paper.

"I'm going to go meet Robin at the park." 

"No you're not."

"Cas, you can't tell me what to do-" He moves to the door but he's blocked by the older man, "Move!"

"You're not going anywhere, if I have to ground you then I will." They're both surprised and neither of them know where that tone of voice came from. "You're staying here and that's final." Bobby walks in from out back, he's cleaning his hands off on a rag- he heard everything but he doesn't make a move to get involved. 

"Keep this up and I'm gonna hate you too Cas." Dean yanks off the flannel he had over his shirt and goes to his room. Castiel sighs heavily.

"Sometimes you gotta be strict, don't worry about it." Bobby heads back outside to finish his work for the day. 

Later in the afternoon Castiel is already feeling guilty for keeping Dean from the only friend he's got in this town. "Dean-" he knocks on his door. Dean's sitting in bed looking through one the car magazines he bought him a while back. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Cas. I get it- you gotta keep an eye on me." He flips through the magazine and Castiel catches a glimpse of something. Fresh cuts. "But I can't stay holed up in here all the time."

"Wanna take a walk?" his eyes are focused on the cuts on his arm but he can't make a fuss. Not in here with Bobby- he's got no idea Dean hurts himself this way. They go outside, the sun is starting to set and the day is cooling down. It's nice. "Dean- why did you do that?" he gestures to his arm, "You haven't done that in a while."

Dean looks at his cuts and shrugs, they keep walking along the fence. "I was pissed."

"At me." Dean nods, "I'm sorry but I didn't want you going anywhere today, after yesterday-"

"Not that. I'm pissed at you because maybe- just maybe- when I had a crush on you-when I was little-" Castiel looks at him, "-you should've put me in my place. Told me it was wrong- somethin'-" he kicks up dirt and grass with his boots as they walk. It's done on purpose because he's angry. "But no, you just- damn it." he stops talking.

Castiel doesn't say anything right then but after a while he speaks, "You think I'm a monster, don't you." It's not a question, he's stating it.

Dean rolls his eyes, "We're all monsters here." 

Castiel stops and pulls on Deans arm to keep him in place, he looks around to make sure no one is looking- no one as in Bobby. "Dean- I'm sorry I took advantage of you. I should have stopped it." Dean looks away, tears clearly forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry I fell in love with you-I'm sorry."

Dean wipes the tear that fell, "Yea well, sorry I fell in love with you too." he wipes the next tear that rolls down his cheek as well. 

"What do you want me to do? If you don't want to be with me-" He inhales, "I'll accept that. I'll do and give you anything you want."

"I'm just emotional-" he pulls the older man close and snuggles into his body- "I'm bein' such a friggin' girl-seeing dad always fucks me up."

Castiel rubs up and down his back, "It's been hard, I know-" he wants to kiss him but he doesn't dare try it. Not now. Maybe giving Dean some space is for the best. "Want some pie?" Dean looks up at him and nods. "Come on, race you?" Castiel runs off down the dirt road back to the house. 

"Damn it Cas!" Dean runs after him, he catches up in no time and beats the older man- he makes it to the front porch first. "I won!" 

Castiel's walking up the porch steps, hands on his hips and panting. "You did-" 

"What was with the race-" Dean wipes his sweaty face with the bottom of his shirt.

"Wanted to see if you ran out of breath-" Dean squints, "You didn't. I knew you were doing better-" 

"Shit- you're right!" Dean grins, "I couldn't even walk to the friggin' bathroom before-" 

"Let's go eat some pie, come on- race you to the kitchen!" they race inside and their previous conversation had been forgotten, maybe they'd revisit it soon. Maybe Dean was just really emotional, after all he just shot his father the day before- but that phone call in Bobby's truck, that stirred up some demons. Demons he didn't want coming to light. Maybe the real monster was John for what he said at the hospital to make him question everything as well- _maybe_ he wanted them apart.

As soon as Castiel stumbles into the kitchen for some coffee the next morning he sees Dean is already up- "Been a while since you've been up this early." he pours himself some coffee and begins to fumble around in the fridge for something to eat.

"Yea-" Dean finishes his orange juice, "Kinda hoping you might wanna go run-" Castiel looks at him, "You wanna?" he winks at his step father- his eyes darting to the hallway to make sure his uncle isn't there. "But I can wait until you're done eating-"

Castiel takes the wink too seriously- thinking maybe going for a run is code for outdoor sex. "No- let's go now." he smiles. "Let me just go put on my sneakers." He goes to his room and quickly changes into basketball shorts and slips on his running shoes. 

They're walking up to the wooden fence when Dean says, "Tag you're it!" and runs off - down the dirt road. So going for a run actually meant going for a _run._ "Hurry up!" he calls back, he's already half a mile away.

Castiel takes a deep breath before he goes off running after him, "Wait up!" Dean wins of course, he ran the whole stretch of road that's about a mile long- he's standing there, ready to gloat by the time he makes it to the finish line. He's panting, "You win again-"

"It's like you're not even trying-" Dean pokes his tummy, "Don't be gettin' flabby on me."

Castiel pokes his tummy too, "I could say the same for you-" Dean quickly pulls his shirt even lower and steps back like he got burned. "I was teasing- you're not flabby." Dean shakes his head, "Come on- don't start-" He pulls the teen close to him and backs up against a tree, hoping to start something up. "I miss you baby-"

Dean shivers, he looks up at the older man. "I-I miss you too Cas." Castiel asks him for a kiss, he can't say no. He gets on his tip toes-he's still four inches shorter than Castiel- and plants a soft kiss on his stubbled rough lips. Castiel moans and it makes him pull away. 

"What's wrong?" He's pressed up against the older man, Castiel's got him by the arms and he can't get away. "You don't miss me baby?" That words makes him melt right against him and soon enough they're french kissing again- their tongues rubbing against each other while they make out. It's only kissing but both of them are moaning as if they're having sex. Castiel pulls away because he's already rock hard and Dean knew, it had been poking his tummy for the last ten minutes. "Need you-" he breathes.

Dean nods, "Where?" all logic is slipping away because he too, is rock hard and Castiel knew it- it was poking him in the hip the entire time. 

"How do you feel about outdoor sex?" He instantly blushes, "Come on." They race each other all the way back to Bobby's and sneak into the forbidden woods behind the house that Bobby didn't want to camp in. They've never been in there before, it's early morning and the sun lightens up the trees- making them appear friendly. This time- Castiel wins the race. He turns around, Dean's looking at the edge of the tree line- "Come on-"

"This looks like somewhere the Blair Witch would live-" Castiel yanks him along, they walk in deep enough where Bobby wouldn't be able to see him if he so happened to go outside to work on his cars. Castiel's on him- pushing down his shorts- "Cas- Ugh-" he moans, his neck is being attacked with kisses and bites. They both are forgetting to be cautious and soon enough, he'd be covered in love bites and bruises. "Ugh- fuck-" Dean whines as his step dad man handles him, bending him over a large rock. It's gross, but they were sweaty enough that they didn't need lube and Castiel's cock slid right in. "Oh my-mmfuuck-" 

"Shh-" Castiel pushes his cock deeper in that ever so plump teenage ass, after a minute he picks up a steady pace and it has his young lover moaning like a whore- "Dean, keep it down-" 

"Ugh- fuck Cas-" Dean moans, Castiel reaches around and cups his hand over the boys mouth to muffle his moaning. It makes him angry, Dean bites his fingers and he lets go- they both come right then and neither of them is angry anymore. "Ugh shit." Dean groans, wincing when he slowly stands up and pulls his shorts back around his waist. Castiel does the same. "Friggin' asshole-" Castiel glares, "You were covering my nose."

Castiel shrugs, "Sorry, you were being a little bitch." Dean punches him in the arm and it turns into a wrestling match right there on the dried leaves.

"Take that back-" Dean straddles the older man, using all his energy to keep him pinned down. "Take it back!" when he wont take it back, Dean's hands find their way to Castiel's neck and begins to strangle him- it doesn't hurt him- in fact, Dean loosens his grip when he feels something hard poking his bottom. "Ugh! You freak! You like that shit?" Castiel's biting his lip, and he's rock hard like they didn't just bang like bunnies two seconds ago. "You're fucked up-" Dean laughs and gets up, "Guess what they say is true, It's the nerds who are the kinkiest."

Castiel props himself on his elbows- still laying on the ground. "Next time you ride me, I want you to choke me." and he's serious about that. Dean looks up towards the house- Bobby isn't outside by the looks of it. "What- you up for it now?" Dean hesitates for a second but he pushes his shorts down and quickly hops on his step dad, "Fuck-" Castiel eases his cock into the ass that's ready and willing. His come makes it that much easier to push inside- who knew it made great lube.

This time while he gets his ass pounded into, he doesn't moan or make any noise- he's whining uncontrollably into Castiel's chest. Castiel's strong arms wrap around him and fuck his ass until he comes a second time. After Castiel comes, they stay like that for a few minutes before he says- "Get off-"

"I can't move." Dean complains. Castiel laughs, "Think you broke my ass, fuck-" Castiel sits up and as if he were a baby, lifts him up and sits him aside. "Ow! fuck-" Dean rolls over onto his knees, his hole is so sensitive. "You broke my ass."

He rolls his eyes and gets up off the ground, after pulling his shorts up he dusts himself free of dried leaves and dirt. He helps Dean up as well and pulls up his shorts for him. "That was-" he tries to comment about the fuck they just had-

"-hot." Dean swallows, he's so thirsty. "We should have angry sex more often-"

"Let's not go there- " Castiel now picks a few leaves from his hair- "Don't need to add domestic violence to my list of crimes." he winks. Dean follows the older man stupidly through the woods and back to Bobby's, he's walking funny the whole time- getting fucked this hard made him look a lot more bow legged than usual. Hopefully his uncle wouldn't notice. "Dean-" He holds the teen back before they walk in through the back screen door, "You forgot to choke me."

"I did-"

"Next time." he winks again before he slaps his sore bottom and goes inside first. 

"Oww-" he gently opens the screen door and walks inside. Bobby was sitting at the table, Castiel was already taking eggs out of the fridge to make omelettes. 

"Cas tells me you went into the woods?" Bobby sips his coffee. 

He looks at Castiel but he's too busy cracking a few eggs into a sizzling pan- "Uh yea. It's not that scary-" he stands because his ass won't be able to sit just yet.

Bobby shakes his head, "Dunno how you go in there- used to hear all kinda things comin' from there late at night. Why do ya think I don't work on my cars at night?"

"Big foot isn't real Bobby, you were tryna scare me-" 

"If ya don't believe me, go in there at night." Bobby shakes his head and gets up, "Gotta go into town, pick up a part for a car I'm workin' on- I'll be home late."

Castiel smiles, "I'll save you some dinner." Bobby nods and heads out for the day. Now Castiel looks at him, "Sit." and he does, painfully. "Here baby." he's given a plate of food.

"If I didn't know any better-I'd think you and Bobby had a thin goin' on." he says, suddenly suspicious. "You act like an old married gay couple. It's disgusting-"

"You're jealous?" Dean shrugs, "Wow, so I fucked you so good that now you're jealous?" Dean blushes, "Didn't know Dean Winchester could get jealous." 

"Shut up." Dean picks at his breakfast before heading for the shower. It's not until he steps out of the shower that he notices the bruises already forming on his hips, "Jesus Cas-" he checks his arms, one there- he checks the back of his neck- another one there. For some reason he's reminded of the battle wounds he came home with after that day on the train tracks and he feels like crying. He grips the counter and- his eyes well up with tears- feeling as if the progress he had made this summer has gone down the drain. Like he's back to square one.

He keeps it together and the feeling passes- Dean stares at his reflection as he puts on deodorant, that's when he notices the marks on his neck- "Damn it Cas." he throws the tube across the small bathroom and quickly dresses in a white undershirt that probably belongs to his uncle, given the size of it and shorts before going to confront the man who marked him. "You!" Dean points an angry finger at him, "Look at what you did, asshole-"

Castiel looks at him with wide eyes, he had been in the middle of sweeping the floor in the living room - "Look-" Dean pulls his shirt collar aside to show him the love bites he left during their fuck, there had to be at least five. Some were red, some pink and barely there, the rest were dark purple. "And look-" he lifts his shirt to show the bruises on his hips, and on the back of his neck. "The fuck Cas?"

Castiel swallows, not having an explanation for once. "Where you friggin' mad at me for something?" he shakes his head, "Then what, you never friggin' hurt me before Cas!" he pushes him. 

"I'm sorry Dean-I got carried away. That's it-"

"Are you sure?" Dean crosses his arms at his chest. "If you're mad at me for something, you better tell me."

"Dean-no. Of course I'm not mad at you." Castiel pulls him in for a hug, "I didn't realize I was being so rough."

"If Bobby asks what happened to me, you better make somethin' up. This is your fault-" he says before going to his room. Castiel feels like crap the entire day but kept his promise of having dinner ready when Bobby came home- Dean didn't come out to eat but that's fine. He'd bring him a plate soon. 

"How was Dean today?" Bobby asks when he's finished eating. 

Castiel smiles, "He's fine-I better go bring him his dinner, he's been doing school work all day." Bobby smiles at that, he's proud of his boy. "Dean-" he knocks on the door, "I have your dinner." 

"Thanks." Dean mumbles and closes his laptop. "I'm not pissed anymore, you can come in." he takes the plate and peels off the foil before he starts eating. Castiel sits on the edge of his bed, "Cas- seriously. I'm not pissed."

Castiel nods, he feels bad. "You were right, I never hurt you before."

"Cas will you stop it, it didn't hurt while you were fucking me so drop it." He sets the plate aside on the bed, "Uhm-I kinda like the bruises and these-" his fingertips trace his neck lightly where the love bites were. "I just got pissed because when Bobby sees he's gonna ask who gave them to me."

Castiel nods, "I'm sorry I ruined everything. I'ts just a matter of time before he finds out-"

Dean reaches over and grabs his hand, "-I'm sorry I yelled at you- I can't control myself sometimes." he smiles and leans in closer to whisper, "But Cas- you were a friggin' beast today. Fuck." Castiel laughs then, "Never seen you like that- fucking sexy-" Dean bites his bottom lip, clearly reliving the memory in his mind. 

"I got carried away." Castiel lifts his hand and kisses the cold skin. "If I'm ever hurting you- you have to tell me. We need to communicate-"

Dean quickly kisses him-surprising them both. "If you were hurting me I would have told you Cas. But It felt good, really good-"

"Alright, I need to go-" Castiel smiles, "Before-" Dean nods, knowing. "Goodnight baby, I love you." 

Dean sighs and his eyes close when Castiel's large hand cups his face and caresses him. "Love you too."

The next day Bobby catches a glimpse of the love bites on his neck, he doesn't confront Dean- Instead he asks Castiel about it when Dean goes outside to work on a car. 

"Robin a vampire or wut?" Bobby watches Dean work through the window. "Boy's got hickies all over his darn neck-"

"I wouldn't know anything about that." he lies. 


	41. Into The Woods

Dean laughed when Castiel told him Bobby thought he was fooling around with Robin and he's sworn to secrecy- that if he's asked who gave him those love bites, to lie and say that it in fact was _her_ who marked him. To make their story believable- Dean starts going to the diner the next few days to see Robin and spends all day with her and she eagerly agreed to lie for him if Bobby were to ever ask about their _relationship._

She was growing to like Dean even more and he was slowly becoming her best friend. Though, you'd think they were actually a couple. They fought like lovers even though they were only friends. Bobby just assumed they had started dating on the down low as soon as they had met and didn't ask any questions.

"Dean Winchester, I hate you!" 

Robin stands outside the diner with her arms crossed at her chest. She was upset that her _boyfriend_ had bailed on her for a movie date that night. After all, he couldn't be too nice to her. Girls tend to get the wrong idea and fall in love with him. Just like innocent little _Jo Harvelle_ had fallen for him- he never did call her back.

"Yea, fuck you too Robin."

Dean flips her the bird just as Castiel and Bobby park up front to pick him up from the diner, "Do you have to be so mean to her? She likes you." Castiel scolds him.

Dean shrugs, "Yea I like her too but I'm gettin' tired of her already. She's on me like a love sick puppy." he gets in and buckles up. "By the way I'm going to the movies with her tomorrow- she wanted to go tonight but I'm friggin' tired after working on that dumb car yesterday. Son of a bitch took six hours just to start-"

Bobby chuckles, "Better be nice to her boy or she won't be givin' you any sugar." Both Castiel and Dean groan in agony. "Wut? Don't tell me you don't like her kissin' you- by the looks of that neck, you sure do."

Dean blushes, "Yea." he admits, although he's admitting to loving Castiel kissing his neck,Not Robin-but he doesn't need to know that yet. Bobby and Dean spend some time putting on some new tires on a Buick before the sun goes down for the day. His phone pings with a text that he ignores it until they're done. 

"Go answer that girlfriend of yours-" Bobby hands him a clean rag to wipe his hands with. He rolls his eyes and wipes his hands clean before fishing his phone out of his phone. It wasn't Robin, it was Castiel. His eyes dart up to look at Bobby- he's too busy focusing on the car so he opens the message. 

The message simply states - **Meet me in the woods @ midnight**

Another message comes in- **Dean?**

He answers the text with a simple yes, then he sends a heart. They go inside and wash up for dinner- Castiel had already eaten earlier so it's just Bobby and him at the kitchen table. They talk, they tell jokes, they laugh. It's nice. Castiel's in the living room and he's hearing it all- it warms his heart. Maybe he really is getting his old Dean back. The boy who used to laugh and tell jokes. That goofy kid who touched his heart all those years ago. That Dean was as close to happy as he could get.

After they finished eating they join Castiel on the couch to watch a scary movie, usually horror movies don't affect Dean but tonight it did- it left him anxious. By the time the movie was over all he could think about was how the hell was he going into those woods to meet Castiel. "I'm gonna go watch a few lectures before I go to sleep, night Bobby" he gets up from the couch, "You too Cas." 

Castiel gives him a little wave before he goes. The adults watch another movie and when it's over Bobby yawns and makes his way to his bedroom for the night. Castiel looks at the clock, it's only eleven. One hour until he can be alone with Dean. He gets up and goes to the bathroom to freshen up and brush his teeth- all too confident that he's getting laid tonight. Five minutes before midnight, Castiel sneaks out back and walks up to the woods.

At midnight on the dot, Dean pulls on a hoodie and heads up to the woods as well. As he's walking up to the tree line- the trees appear larger to him and it's making him feel a little dizzy and off balance but he ignores it. Castiel is waiting for him. He's walking carefully through the twig like trees and he's thinking maybe this wasn't such a good idea- "Cas?" he whispers, "Where are you?" A twig snaps a few feet away from him and he gets the idea that this would be the perfect place for his dad to be, for his dad to come get him. To hurt him. Another twig snaps and he actually shrieks in fear.

A hand comes up behind him and covers his mouth, he struggles against it until Castiel speaks in his ear- "It's just me baby." and he lets go. 

Dean turns around, panting. "What the fuck!" he punches him in the shoulder. 

"Calm down. Who else would be here, hmm?" his strong arms wrap around the trembling teenager. "It's just you and me." Dean licks his lips right before they kiss and it gets hot and heavy pretty quickly. 

After a few minutes of passionate making out he pulls away, "I want to but I'm still kinda sore-"

Castiel smiles, "We don't have to, I just want to be with you." Dean smiles, "Kiss me baby." and he melts into him like Castiel knew he would and they kiss again. After a while of making out like teenagers, he breaks the kiss- "Mind If I-" Castiel's hand palms his hard on over his sweatpants and the frightened whimpers. 

"Yea-" Dean pushes his sweats down and it pops up to attention, he blushes. 

Castiel scans the area real quick before getting down on his knees and getting to work on blowing him, Dean whimpers- trying his best to keep quiet. He fails miserably. "Shh-" he orders before continuing. When Dean comes, he swallows it down and keeps sucking.

"Oh fuck-" Dean whines, "Ah-ah-ow-fuck!" Castiel finally lets go, wiping his mouth and laughing. "Asshole-"

He pulls Dean's pants up for him as he stands, "You're so cute when I suck your dick." and that comment earns him another punch. They're making their way back to the house when the back screen door opens, Bobby pokes his head out. _Shit._

"What the hell are you two doin' out in the woods at this hour?" 

Dean shrugs, he's gotten good at coming up with lies on the spot. "We went to check out the woods and there's no Blair witch or big foot in there-" they go inside, "What are you doin' up Bobby?"

Bobby rubs his chest, "Heartburn- really should stop eatin' so late." he heads back to his room with a glass of water in hand. 

"That was a close close call." 

"Yea and I saved your ass." Dean pulls Castiel close to him by the collar of his shirt- planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Night Cas." Castiel gulps, nodding. 

The following day Castiel spent alone- Bobby had gone off to help a friend at his garage in town and Dean went on his movie date with Robin. After the movie Dean called him to let him know they would be going to the park and then to the diner for dinner. He'd gone into town to pick up groceries but that only took about an hour. The rest of the day he spent cleaning and moping around the place. It's almost seven in the evening and he's still sulking- and still home all alone when he makes his way into Dean's room. He missed _Dean._ In less than two months he's made the room his- there's a poster of a girl in a bikini taped to the wall. There's a stack of car magazines and a few stolen playboys from his uncle on the small desk. There's clothes everywhere- some are hung in the closet, some are stuffed into drawers and some in a pile on the floor by his bed which is of course, unmade. 

He looks around and he smiles because it's Dean's mess and he can't believe just how much he loves him. The situation isn't the most ideal but he loves that boy to death. He sits on the edge of his bed and grabs his pillow and hugs it to his face-inhaling his scent. When he moves to put it back he notices an old journal that was hidden underneath. He really shouldn't look through it but he picks up anyway and the worn leather cover had John Winchester's name sewn in- though Dean had scratched that out with some kind of blade or something sharp and replaced it with his initials.

 _ **D.W.**_ His fingertips trace over the two letters before he opens it.

The first couple dozen pages he assumes belong to Dean's father- being mostly about his time spent in the military and Mary. Not to mention the neat hand writing, Dean's handwriting was messy and looked to belong to a ten year old, the thought makes him smile. Castiel reads through the pages John wrote as if he were reading a novel- eventually he gets to Dean's part of the journal. A few pages were torn out of his fathers writing- then his pages start.

The first page was about him. It simply said- _Cas is cool-_ in childish chicken scratch. He guesses this was written years ago when they first met. After turning the page his eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the improvement in his writing. These pages must be more recent, it read- _Mom left us._ The writing was still messy but it had improved. The date was written on the page, the same day he moved in. He looks closely and he saw it- something that had been scratched out but he could still tell what it said- _I hate dad's friend._

He blinks the tears away that want to come but don't and turns the page, this one read- _Dad finally left._ With the date exactly one week from the day he left them both and never came back. The following page said- _Cas and I fucked, it was awesome._ He rolls his eyes and makes a mental note that this journal has their secret written inside.

The next page read- _Came to see Bobby._ He turned the page- _Rufus died, I miss that dog._ He knows he should respect his privacy but he turns the page again and this one reads- _This guy I met at the diner fucked me by the train tracks but I didn't like it._ _Guess I cheated on Cas again and_ _he's gonna hate me forever and leave me. Cas is not gonna get that I didn't want him to fuck me.._

He turns the page- _I'm dying inside, he's everywhere._ He turns the page again- _Shot my dad today while shooting bottles but he didn't die. Too bad._ He flips the page again- _I wish I could go back, I can't do this anymore._ He flips to the final page with writing on it- _Feels like i'm drowning all over again. I'm doin better but...fuck it, doesn't matter._ ~~Sometimes~~ _ ~~I wish I was dead.~~_

He sighs as he takes in Dean's inner thoughts, he's still flipping through empty pages and stumbles onto a few poems that he'd written near the end of the journal. He's about to read them when the front door slams shut, _Dean._ He shoves the leather journal under the pillow where it had been hiding and makes his way to find the teenager in the kitchen and he looks tired as he sets his laptop on the table. Robin had been helping him with his school work when they would hang out- he suspected she might actually be doing the work for him. He knows Dean is smart-the kid is basically Macgyver- but when it comes to school he really doesn't have the patience.

"Hey Cas." Dean shrugs off his flannel shirt, "What's for dinner?"

"Didn't you eat with Robin?" 

"I had a sandwich at the diner but you know-" He smiles at the older man, "Making out with Robin works up an appetite." Castiel frowns, "Relax, I'm messin' with you-" he pulls him closer, kissing him softly. Their tongues peek out and meet each other in the middle as they share a brief french kiss. "Mm-" 

Castiel pushes him away by the shoulders, "You make me so hard-" he looks out the window and sees that Bobby's truck isn't parked out front yet so he kisses the teen again. "You smell so good-" he kisses up his neck and catches whiffs of his body wash with each kiss to his kiss. _Coconut and citrus._ "Fuck-" his hands move to grab Dean's plump ass.

Dean moans desperately, "Cas- you better stop." 

"Right-" they kiss a final time and move around the kitchen to make something to eat. Dean helps him prepare quesadillas and Bobby comes home right when they're about to eat- "Hope you like quesadillas." he says to the bearded man when he sits down.

"I love em'-" The three of them eat until they can't anymore, especially Dean and it makes them happy. Eventually Dean leans back on his chair and unbuttons his jeans, his tummy peeks out from under his shirt. Castiel missed that- Dean's still thin, but he's looking really healthy. His skin's got a nice glow now, no longer pasty looking. The under eye circles aren't so dark these days and his nails aren't blue. 

"Wan't some pie?" Castiel asks while he cleans up the table. 

"No way." Dean groans, hand on his stomach- he gets up from the table- "Gonna go watch somethin'." and makes his way to the couch in the living room.

"He's looking good." Bobby smiles, "Gotta admit, when you brought him here-" he shakes his head, "I was scared. Know ya warned me but I couldn't believe it was that bad." After dinner they join Dean in the living room- it's still early and Castiel's getting anxious as the three of them sit on the couch watching a show he cares nothing about. After twenty minutes he can't take it anymore, he'd been cooped up alone all day and gets up suddenly.

"I'm going for a drive." Castiel grabs his keys from the wall hook and Dean stands up too, he looks him up and down. "You wanna come?"

"That cool Bobby?" his uncle nods and waves him off- he was too enchanted by the couple arguing in his favorite Mexican soap opera. 

"He watches that soap opera every friggin' day, shit- it's always the snobby rich chick that falls in love with the stable boy." Dean rants as they go down the porch steps and Castiel smiles, he's going to be alone with Dean. Bobby has let up a little bit on watching them every minute of every day. He should probably thank Robin, she's the only reason his suspicion has cooled off. They were driving around town for a while with nowhere to go, eventually they stopped by an old gas station to fill up the car and from there Dean makes him drive half an hour to the nearest Mcdonald's for an ice cream cone- Castiel got hard watching him devour it. After that- they were just cruising for what seemed like forever but Dean didn't mind, the long drive was making him feel sleepy and relaxed. Everything was a blur- from street signs to stop lights.

Castiel pulls over about a mile away from Bobby's place, he looks over at the sleepy teen. "Dean-" he opens his eyes, "Think you might-" he looks down at his crotch and Dean smiles that perfect smile and quickly goes down on him and somehow they both end up in the back seat humping away like virgins. They dry hump for what seems like hours until Dean has an orgasm in his jeans. "I see you liked that-" Castiel sighs aggressively, a cocky smile on his face.

It's silent in the car for a few minutes before they move back up front, "What's gotten into you? You friggin' animal- I feel so violated." Dean looks at him with an innocent look but he knows that boy is anything but innocent.

Castiel starts the car, "Don't act like you don't like it." 

Dean nods, "Right- hurry I'm thirsty and gross." and they drive up the road slowly back up to his uncles house. Dean takes the first shower and Castiel takes the second. Bobby was up late again due to his heartburn and Castiel makes another mental note- _cook healthier for Bobby_. For two reasons- because he cares about the mans health and two- because he doesn't want him up so late.

Around one in the morning a storm rolled in out of nowhere. There hadn't been any thunder, just continuous flashes of white light- lighting up the house completely every few seconds. 

Not long into the storm the electricity had gone out and Dean walks into the living room and finds his step dad there, looking down at his phone. He plops down heavily on the couch. "I was on the computer before the power went out, couldn't sleep."

"I couldn't either." he sets his phone down on the coffee table. "Was checking the weather on my phone, last thing we need is a tornado killing us in our sleep." 

"Bobby still up?" He looks over to the hallway.

"I'm not sure, I told him to lay down on his left side to keep any acid reflux down."

Dean bites his lip, "Okay, Doctor Cas." his eyes look towards the empty dark hallway before he starts feeling up the older mans arm. "Damn, look at these guns-" Castiel's eyes close and they both know he's getting turned on. "Fuckin' mm-" Dean bites his arm playfully like a vampire and it makes them both laugh. It's so nice to see him be playful and joke around again. It had been a long time, the past few months Dean had been miserable.

"Dean stop it." He wipes away the saliva on his arm, his eyes look over to the teens neck- the love bites he left there were starting to fade. "Finally."

Dean rubs his neck, "Yea, you got me good." his hand creeps over to Castiel's thigh and he begins to rub and squeeze at the meat there. "So fucking juicy-" 

"Stop that." Castiel leans back on the couch, his legs spreading apart and the hand rubbing him goes higher and higher before it starts groping him over his pajama pants. The soft material against his cock feels amazing. Probably because he wasn't wearing any underwear. "Stop-" he bites his lip to keep from making any noises that would peek his uncle's interest. 

"Don't wanna-" Dean's biting his lip too. "You're fucking sexy Cas- can't help myself." his lips find their way to Castiel's neck and he starts kissing- being mindful not to leave any marks. If Castiel wakes up with love bites, there's no one to blame it on. 

Castiel whines softly, "Choke me." his eyes are focused on Dean's. Dean takes one look at the hallway and sees that it's all clear so he climbs up onto his step dads lap and his hands rub up his chest until they find their way around his neck. "Choke me-" he nods, his hands gently squeeze the older mans neck. 

Castie's eyes close- "Harder." he orders and he does. When his face starts to get a little flushed Dean lets go. Castiel moans softly. 

"You're a freak." Dean says in all seriousness. "What else are you into?" he slides off the older mans lap and makes himself comfortable on the couch. They very well can't do anything right there and besides, they dry humped in the car- he's got more energy than before but hes wiped out already.

Castiel shrugs, now his hand wanders and his fingers find their way into Dean's hair- he plays with the ends lightly- even though there isn't much to play with anyway. "Guess I like being bossing you around."

"I remember." Dean swallows. "It was fun when we role played- kinda wanna do that again."

His eyebrows raise slightly in interest, "What do you have in mind?" 

"Dunno-" Dean looks around the dark living room, it was still being lit up every once in a while by lightning. "Kinda liked calling you daddy-"

"Is that right?" Castiel leans closer, "Because I like being your daddy." 

There's a loud thump that came from Bobby's room and they hear him curse, "Balls!" They sit up on the couch like they weren't doing a thing. Because they weren't, they were just talking about doing something. Bobby suddenly appears from the darkened hallway, "Banged my darn toe, didn't know the power was out." 

Dean smiles because he really does look like big foot in that fuzzy brown robe and resists the urge to laugh- Bobby won't hesitate to smack him in the head. _Again._

Bobby frowns, "Boy you better get to bed, you were out all day." Dean and Castiel look at each other, "Go on, Dean." The teen hauls himself up from the couch and goes to his room without another word. "Know you love him and all, but ya gotta start settin' some rules. Make him do some chores and whatnot. Make him help out round' here." 

Castiel nods, "I just-"

"I know you don't wanna be strict with him but you can't go easy on him all the time- he's gotta shape up. That boy's gonna be a man real soon and he's gotta grow up." Castiel nods. "You too, head to bed- not good for anyone to be walkin' around the house late at night."

Castiel stands, "And why's that?"

"The woman in white will get ya." He says, completely serious. "My mama used to tell me that story growin' up-

"You and your ghost stories." Castiel pats him on the shoulder and heads for his room. He lays back in bed and he moans at he cold sheets under his hot skin, it was the best part of going to bed. He's not sleepy so he decides to check his phone again for weather updates and sees a text message from Dean. A smile forms on his lips- it was sent a few minutes ago.

**I love you Daddy.**

He reads the short message a few times before typing a response.

**I love you too baby, get some sleep.**

The next morning Castiel was awoken by a phone call. Someone was interesting in renting _their_ house- the couple wanted to see the place as soon as possible and Castiel let them know that it would be at least a few weeks before the house was available for rent. The newly weds agreed to wait and that they'd be expecting his call.

The condition of the Winchester house wasn't the greatest and he knew he'd have to drive back home and fix her up. All the rooms had to be repainted, Dean in his younger years had written a few curse words with crayon on his bedroom walls and as he got older he carved a few more with a pocket knife. For what reason? he didn't know. There were a few holes in the dry wall as well- some were John's and some were Dean's. They had that in common, punching walls when they got pissed so he had quite a few holes in spackle before he could paint.

Dean wouldn't dare punch a wall at Bobby's for fear his uncle might shoot him. He's got guns and he's not afraid to use them- Dean's blood so he may not _shoot_ him but he sure would pretend to and scare him half to death. Scare him so bad he would never do anything that would get him in trouble with his gun owning uncle. 

Castiel didn't tell Dean that he was renting out their house and sure as hell didn't have the heart to tell Dean that he'd be making the trip back home _alone_ if someone ever did call asking about the place- which someone did and He'd have to go fix up the house on his own. Dean had made so much progress here, going back to that house might bring back old feelings and old demons.

Castiel's already made the decision to permanently stay here, maybe not in Bobby's house for the long term but in the area. The fresh air is nice and he likes all the open space. Bobby did say there was a house for rent just up the road- about a mile away. He might have seen the house he was talking about- it was big, but old and he didn't mind one bit. It was a good deal. He was getting all these kinds of ideas in his head- they could have a garden, maybe get some chickens or some ducks. A few dogs. Who knows- but they would have the space for it.

The worst thing was that Bobby wanted to go with him, meaning Dean staying here alone. He wasn't worried about John coming by- he knows his boy can take care of himself. He'd have no problem shooting his father again if he happened to show up. When he told Bobby about this he mentioned that he had a good friend in town who could come check in on him every day. His old friend, _Benny-_ the cop Dean talked to after that ordeal with Gordon Walker. Castiel agreed to let Benny come check on him, after all he was a cop. He knew what Dean's been through while he's been _here,_ but not back at home. That was a another story.

"No!" Dean shouts when Castiel tells him what's going to happen. "You can't leave me here-" 

"I don't want you going back there- it's not good for you." Castiel crosses his arms at his chest, "Please. You know I need to go back and fix up the house before they move in and you didn't exactly leave it in the best condition. Your room is-" Dean's face goes red, "You punched holes in the wall and your carved- certain words that I don't want anyone to see. This couple has a child and they plan on turning your room into a nursery."

"Boy or girl." Dean says, still upset but his anger is lessening.

"Girl- they've asked me to paint your room pink."

"So you're a landlord now." Castiel nods, "What else do you have to do?"

"I'll be packing up the rest of our stuff- the stuff I think is worth keeping anyway." 

Dean sighs, "How long will you be gone- few days?"

"A week or two." Castiel inches closer to Dean, in case he gets upset again. Which he does by the look on his face. "And Bobby wanted to come with me- he wants to bring your car here, he's got a tow truck. He said he want's to help you fix her."

Dean's eyes water even though It's only two weeks max but it will feel like forever. "She'll never start." he bites his nails as he thinks about his car- _Cassie._ "No offence Cas but you got me a piece of crap-" 

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Castiel blurts out, "Have to get paint and all that-" he rubs the back of his neck. It's hard to be apart from Dean- just thinking about it is making him nervous. He just has to rip off the band aid and leave. _Asap._ Get this done so he can come back because he's never not seen Dean for that long since they met.

"I hate you." Dean wipes the tear that fell. 

Castiel pulls him in for a hug- right there on the porch where they had been standing. "I love you too." they hug and it lasts quite a while. Bobby's watching from the window and he doesn't suspect a thing. They love each other like father and son, but it's more than that- what he doesn't know yet won't hurt him. "You'll be fine, you'll only be alone about two days. Bobby's just going to get your car, then he'll be right back." Dean nibbles on his bottom lip in worry, "You'll be fine, remember that cop you talked to? About what happened-" Dean nods, "He's Bobby's friend, he's going to come check on you. And- there's guns in the basement."

"I guess." Dean gives him a fake smile. "But I'm gonna call you all the time and you better pick up-if you don't I'm getting on a friggin' bus and going after you."

They hug again and Castiel goes to pack some clothes for the week, he doesn't pack much because he's got his whole wardrobe back home. That night they met in the woods so they could have a proper goodbye- they planned on having sex but Dean couldn't stop crying so they simply kissed and held each other for a long time. Dean knew he was being overly emotional but he loved him that much. Castiel did too, he wanted to cry as well but he had to be strong.

"Don't I get a hug goodbye?" Castiel playfully shoves him as the three of them stand outside before he leaves. Dean shrugs- his uncle was right there. Castiel pulls him in for a bear hug anyway-right in front of his uncle and does his best to make it seem fatherly. "I'll call you in a few hours when I get there. Yeah?" Dean nods- he looked so sad. "Chin up, I'll come back- I promise." He nods again, for some reason it felt like he may never see this man ever again. His anxiety gets him every time, makes him think he's not loved. Always has him thinking he's going to get abandoned. Dean forgets that Castiel isn't like his father, not one bit.

"Bobbyy-" Dean whines as they watch Castiel's car drive off- down the dirt road and appearing smaller and smaller as he gets farther away. "You should have made him take me-"

"You know going back to that house is no good." Bobby wraps an arm around him and they walk up the porch steps into the house. "How about I make ya some food-"

"Fuck Bobby, I'm not hungry right now-" Dean goes to his room and locks the door. Bobby sighs- this isn't going to be easy. 


	42. Old Wounds & New Scars

Castiel arrives at the Winchester home in less than five hours, he stopped mid way for some gas and a bathroom break. As he stands in the home he realizes he doesn't miss the place one bit. His home is back at Bobby's with Dean. This place just seems like a bad memory. There were some good times, he met Dean here and fell in love with him to but it was time for a fresh start. He didn't want to live with the worry that John Winchester could pop up or break in at any time. Of course he could still do that back at Bobby's, but they've got guns. Neither of them would hesitate to shoot him a second time. 

After taking a nap he goes to the hardware store and picks up a few cans of paint and a giant tub of spackle, there were many holes and marks on the walls he had to cover up to make it look like no one had ever lived there, especially a Winchester. He also got some curtains for the living room and the bedrooms- he figured the nicer the place looked, the greater the chance of the couple wanting to rent the place right there on the spot. Castiel heads to Dean's old room first to get started on the paint job- after he spackled the holes in the walls and smoothed out the various curse words Dean had carved into the walls during his years in this room he began to paint.

He moves things out of the way and packs them up into boxes and trash bags to toss out as he works- it's coming along quite nice. On his lunch break the couple calls him and he lets them know of the progress he's making on the house, they're very excited. Castiel rolls his eyes when they ask him if he's painting the nursery pink for the third time. After lunch he gets started on his own bedroom, for that room he chose taupe- a darker taupe- and he's just about done when his phone rings causing him to drop the paint roller on the floor. Thank God he laid out plenty of newspaper or he'd have to replace the carpet or figure out how to get taupe out of a beige carpet.

"Dean-" he groans into the phone, annoyed. "What is it?"

"Cas, why didn't you call me?" He huffs into the phone, "You said you were gonna call when you got there."

A loud sigh is heard on the other end of the line, "I was too tired-"

"You're already forgetting about me." Dean complains.

He laughs, the annoyance he felt melts away because his love sounds adorable right now, "You're so cute baby." 

"Fuck you." Dean hangs up the phone and goes to bed. Castiel puts the phone away in his pants pocket and continues to work late into the night. It's nearly morning when he realizes he spent the whole night painting. He finished turning Dean's old room into a pretty pink nursery for the couple's baby girl and managed to turn his old bedroom into a nice master for her parents. The rest of the home- he'd paint tomorrow. Well, later- since it was tomorrow already. Castiel peels off his sweaty clothes and makes a mental note to paint the small bathroom as well because toddler Dean Winchester had written his name in red crayon on the wall near the light switch. Before stepping out of the shower he thinks of those green eyes staring back up at him- "Fuck." that's when he comes- the whole time he was in the shower he kept thinking of Dean down on his knees sucking him off.

When Dean wakes up from his restful sleep there's an apology text from Castiel waiting for him on his phone telling him he he was sorry for not calling and it makes him smile. He replies with a simple red heart emoji. The day doesn't feel any different than when Castiel is there. He has breakfast like usual, though he ate a bit less today. He still goes out back and helps his uncle change the oil on one car and helps him fix a flat tire on another. Lunch time comes around and he sits down to sandwiches with his uncle, they eat outside and he only has a few bites and chugs his root beer before going back to work. Bobby notices and it worries him- he knows the absence of his step father is going to affect him more than he thought.

After a full day of working and not checking his phone, Bobby says it's enough for today and orders him inside. Dean stomps into the house and pulls out his phone, expecting a missed call from Castiel or a text. _Nothing._ No notifications, no missed calls. _Nada._ "You son of a bitch-" he whimpers out loud. He grabs a bag of chips and his fourth root beer of the day and goes to lock himself up in his room. That night, Castiel doesn't call him yet again. Doesn't text him either. 

**You having an affair over there or what asshole.**

A few minutes later his phone pings with a message, finally.

**Yes, I found someone cuter than you.**

Dean begins to pout, his phone then shows an incoming video call from Castiel. He quickly sits up and answers it, "It's cute you think I found someone to fuck in less than 48 hours." Castiel speaks, he's a bit blurry at first and then the call clears up- Castiel was laying in bed-shirtless and his hair is a mess. He likes it. He misses him already.

"Cas-" Dean whines, holding up the phone- he himself was shirtless and messy haired after spending the day out back helping his uncle with work. "What are you doing? Why didn't you call me? Why-"

Castiel bursts out laughing causing the phone to shake in his hand, making everything blurry. "Calm down, I was busy fixing the house." the smile on his face doesn't fade, Dean can be so cute when he's needy- at least he thinks so. "I thought about you in the shower this morning, when I jacked off."

Dean's face flushes pink, "Yea?" Castiel nods, "Might've thought about you too when I was in the shower-" Bobby peeks into his room right then and he hopes he hadn't heard what was said- his uncle asks him if he's going to be eating dinner tonight. "Yea Bobby, I'll come eat when I hang up-" Bobby asks if it's Castiel, he nods. "Sorry, Bobby's on me about the whole food thing."

"Have you eaten?" Castiel asks him, Dean watches him through the screen for a moment before answering. "Dean?"

"Yea- a little. We've been working alot-" 

"You better eat, or else." 

That peeks the teens interest, "Or you'll do what- Spank me? Fuck me? The fuck are you gonna do to me Cas that you haven't done already." his voice is flirty but challenging. 

Castiel smiles, "Behave." Dean rolls his eyes, "I saw that."

"Yea whatever." Dean can't tear away his eyes from the man on the screen. He's handsome and all scruffy. "Shame you're not here-"

"Oh?" 

"Yea- kinda want you to fuck me right about now." he sighs sadly, being over dramatic. 

Castiel laughs loudly, "Why don't you just finger yourself." it sounds like an order, not a question. 

Dean gets flustered, "Uh- dunno how."

"Sure you do-"

"Uh- no I'm too scared to do that."

Castiel smiles again, "You're not going to hurt yourself- besides, your cherry's already popped."

"Cas!" Dean hisses, the blush on his face visible even through the phone screen. "Shut your face-I gotta go eat dinner before Bobby comes back."

"Well-" Castiel sighs, "I love you sweetie, I'll call you again." the word sweetie makes Dean blush- so much in fact that he just waves and hangs up the call without saying he loves him too. 

Dean and Bobby sit down for pizza on the couch that night and they watch the weather girl on the television warning their county about a possible tornado tonight. "Fuck Bobby, the weather around here sucks." he bites into his second slice of pizza, "It's always a damn tornado warning or severe thunderstorms." His uncle just shrugs, he himself was on his fourth slice of the cheesy pie. Once it had started raining Dean had changed the channel and they end up watching some show about zombies that had peeked his interest until a certain character was introduced- "This is boring, night Bobby." he gets up and heads for his room. Bobby assumed he left because a guy popped up on the screen than looked just like his father. Negan or something- what a strange name, though he did like his baseball bat covered in barbed wire. 

He throws himself on the bed and he picks up his phone- a new message from Castiel. He opens it and instantly bites his lip, the guy had sent him a nude photo- his face cropped out of it- good idea. Dean undresses rather quickly and takes a nude photo of his body- his face cropped out. Almost instantly Castiel responds. 

**It's a shame I'm not there to fuck you good. You look good.**

Dean whimpers, typing a response back. His cock is already rock hard.

 **Need you so fuckin bad daddy.**

**Finger yourself for daddy, it won't hurt. Promise.**

He whimpers in the silence of the room- his door was locked- he could try to finger himself but he was scared. He hasn't really done it before. His phone pings again.

**Go on baby, you'll be fine.**

Castiel video calls him right then but he declines the call, he can't finger himself with him on the phone. It's his first time doing it. He's still nude from having taken the naked photo of himself so he just gets comfortable on his back and lets his legs fall open just a little. He's still considering it when his phone pings yet again.

 **Suck on your finger and** **use it.**

Dean gulps and responds.

**K daddy. Gonna try.**

The teen sucks on his finger until it's wet with saliva and his hand goes down between his legs, it's uncomfortable. He can't reach so he does what he always did when he was fucked by his step dad, he bent himself in half and held his legs up and spread apart. His wet finger probes around his hole and he flinches, sucking in a breath. He's rubbing his role, until he begins to press against the sensitive button and it pops in. Just the tip- but it feels nice. There's no pain. Dean starts to jack himself off with one hand while his finger is in his ass. He doesn't dare use more of his finger than just the tip- but the burn- the pressure of it, is still amazing. 

He won't admit it to Castiel, ever- but he came in less than a minute. After he wipes his hand on his thigh he types a response to Castiel.

**Shit, I hate you.**

**I knew you would like that, I love you too baby.**

He falls asleep afterwards, nude. When he awakens the next morning he feels relaxed- he stretches his limbs before he reaches for his dying cellphone- Robin texted him. He opened her message telling him to meet her at the diner for breakfast and that it was urgent. After pulling himself out of bed he dresses right away in a simple dark green shirt and jeans, his boots too of course and Castiel's ever present ring on his left middle finger. His hair- he didn't do anything to it, she said it was urgent and he had to go. Now.

Though he does brush his teeth because he can't go meet his _girlfriend_ with bad morning breath. Bobby sees him stumble into the kitchen, "Where you goin'?" he sips his coffee.

"Robin needs me." he grabs the keys to his uncles truck without asking before heading out. Bobby yells after him to drive safe. Once at the diner he walks in, the bell on the door jingles and she comes over. "Where's the fire?" he pulls her in for a friendly hug to keep up appearences.

She pulls him outside and guides him to the truck, "Take me to the store, please." her eyes beg him too.

He licks his lips, nodding. "Get in." He drives her to the store and once inside, she still hasn't spoken- she's trying to guide him to the feminine hygiene section of the market. "What?" he enters the aisle, looking around at a bunch of tampons and pads. "You got your period or somethin'-" She blushes furiously, her hands over the crotch area of her uniform skirt. "Hey, it's okay." he whispers to her and takes her hand so he can hold it. 

Robin looks at the packages, "I just started it today." Dean nods, looking around as well. He's not one bit ashamed, actually he feels like a bad ass. "It's my first period-" 

Dean studies her, "You're sixteen."

"I'm a late bloomer shut up! Just help me-"

"Is it a heavy flow?" He grins, picking up a package for heavy flow. She nods so he takes two packages. "That all you need?" She nods again. They head to the check out lane and Dean being the gentlemen he is, pays for her hygiene products. "Wait, this too-" he tells the cashier as he reaches over and grabs a few chocolate bars. She smiles at him. 

When he parks in front of the diner to drop her off with her _supplies_ for the next few days she leans in and kisses his cheek. "Dean Winchester, you saved my life today." He shrugs, blushing from the kiss his friend just gave him. "I'm serious, I haven't told my mom I started my period yet- she's been worried about me for years because I never started it and if she knew- she'd probably throw me a party-" She pokes him in the ribs, "-And invite you."

Dean laughs, "Call me next month, I'll bring you-" he looks at the shopping bag that lay on her lap. "More of those." She kisses his cheek again before exiting the truck and runs back inside the diner. He stays in the parking lot typing out a text for Castiel when Robin comes back with a milk shake in hand and a paper bag.

"On the house."

Dean takes the bag and opens it, fries. "Thanks." They wave goodbye and he drives back to the house. As he heads up the porch steps his phone rings, he hurries inside and goes to his room. "Cas-" he sighs, "I'm so glad you called."

"I miss your voice." Castiel sighs into the phone and he plops down onto his bed and digs into his fries. "I'm almost done painting your room today, the pink looks nice." Dean snorts, "Remember when you wore that dress for me?" and he almost chokes on a fry. "You were such a good girl for me. Fucked you nice and hard on the table. Remember?" Dean nods as if he could see, "I can't hear you-"

"Yea-I remember." Dean sits up, taking a sip from his milkshake to wash down the fry he almost lost his life over. 

"Tell me Dean, why didn't you answer the phone? I called you an hour ago." 

He gulps, he gulps because Castiel sounds so hot right now. "Had to take Robin to the store."

"Doesn't she have a mom who can take her?"

"You're an asshole- she got her friggin' period and wanted my help." Instantly he regrets telling him her secret and vows not to do it again.

"Aww that's cute." Castiel coos sarcastically. Dean is stunned.

"What the fuck why are you bein' a dick?" 

The line is silent for a moment, "Not being able to fuck you is hard." he goes with that instead, if he says he misses him too much he might end up getting emotional because it was _that_ hard to be apart. "When I get back-"

"-you'll fuck me good right?" Dean talks softly, his eyes focused on the unlocked doorknob on the bedroom door. "Fuck-" he hisses. "I want you to bruise me again. Cas I-"

"Stop." Castiel hushes him, "Keep talking and I won't be able to finish up here-"

"Right." Dean smiles. "I'll let you finish painting my room-" he pauses. "Pink." Castiel laughs and they hang up. Bobby comes into his room a while later while he's on his laptop, tells him he'll be gone for a few hours. He gives his uncle a thumbs up before he leaves. A few hours go by and his uncle isn't home yet, it makes him restless so he goes to Castiel's room to snoop around because he's that bored and he wouldn't dare snoop around his uncles room- he's probably got cameras in there. He's one paranoid fella.

Dean walks into the room and inhales his step dads scent. _Lavender and musk._ He never liked lavender until Castiel gave him a bath once- using lavender bubbles. Before he used to think it smelled like dirty flowers but now, the aroma relaxes him. Mostly because it reminds him of _Cas._ The room is empty and neat, the bed was made and all his clothes were in the closet or in drawers. He looks over at the nightstand and sees a book there so he goes over to look at what it is. _The voice of the night by Dean Koontz._ The fact that he's reading a book by an author with the same first name makes him smile.

He sits on the bed and begins reading the book, oddly enough- he keeps reading the damn thing for a while. The story has sucked him in completely until his phone rings. It's Castiel. Dean answers the video call, it's blurry for a few seconds then it clears up. "Cas, don't tell me you got a thing for teenage boys?" his tone sounds cocky. The look of confusion on the older mans face has him holding up the book so he can see it, before he can open his mouth to speak- "Actually, I like the book so far." 

"You're actually reading something that isn't about cars?" he sounds surprised.

"The kid in the book-Colin, he sorta reminds me of Sam." he smiles as if thinking of his old friend back home. Castiel looks behind Dean and notices he's on his bed. "Oh yea, I plan on rubbing one out right here-" he pats the bed, setting the book in it's place on the nightstand. 

"Dean, stop." 

"What? You were the one talking about fucking-" Bobby opens the door to the room. _Fuck._ "Yea?" he looks up at his uncle. 

"What're you doin' here?" Castiel stays silent and simply listens, they're both hoping he didn't hear anything. "Who you talkin' to?"

"Uh- Robin." he lies, Bobby nods and again he asks why he's in here. "I came to get-" he remembers the book and grabs it, "This." 

"Go to your room, he wouldn't like you goin' through his things." Dean nods. "And Dean, you better be careful with that lil' girlfriend of yours, I heard you. Don't be gettin' her pregnant." Dean nods furiously again before dashing to his own room. Castiel had ended the video call during their encounter. Neither Castiel nor Dean make the first move to call each other in the following days for fear of what could happen. They almost got busted the last time they spoke- being physically apart is making them careless. He'd been so nervous about what his uncle had heard from behind the door but it couldn't have been much- he hadn't asked or mentioned anything about Castiel.

Bobby had bought the story. He had been talking to Robin, about having sex. That's it. That's all he thought and he certainly didn't want to call Castiel again while Bobby had driven out to join him back at his house. He'd only be there a day or so, just to tow _Cassie_ back and Bobby is not going to ask about what he may have heard. At least that's what he kept repeating to himself.

"Hey sweetheart." Dean's sitting at his favorite booth at the diner, "Two sodas and some fries."

"Two sodas?" He nods. She wasn't aware he would be having company. "I'll be right back." and she's off to grab his order from the kitchen.

The bell on the diner door jingles, it's _Benny._ Bobby's cop friend that he was told would be checking on him, as well as the cop who took his statement about his _rape._ Dean really hates calling it that. "Over here." he waves the cop over to his booth. At that moment Robin comes over with their sodas and a basket of fries fit for two. "So-"

"How you been?" Benny takes his jean jacket off and he quickly notices how muscular he is. He hadn't noticed that at the police station.

Dean blinks, "Uh-fine." he sips on his soda and chews on the straw nervously. "Doin' better."

Benny smiles, his blue eyes twinkle in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the old diner. "So-how'd ya get here? Bobby took his truck and you don't have a license." 

He shrugs, "Walked."

"Dean-" Benny takes a sip of his own soda and he follows the movement of his lips around the red and blue striped straw. "Really don't wanna be walking around at night-" they both look over at the clock on the wall. It was eight in the evening. "Really don't." 

"Bobby's gonna tow my car- watch all the tires fly off the friggin' thing on the way." that makes the older cop laugh. "Seriously. It's junk." They chat for over two hours. Their glasses that once contained their sodas are now empty and the yellow basket that held their fries is now empty too- as well as the brand new ketchup bottle on the table. Dean doesn't want to leave, it's nice talking to Benny. He'd been nervous about seeing him again since giving his statement but now he was alright. Benny was _alright._

They both knew the diner was closing soon, the clock told them that and there hadn't been a customer in half an hour. "Robin-" Benny calls her, "Pie." he holds up two fingers indicating to her that he wants two slices. 

"You like-" he swallows, "Pie?" 

"Hell yea." Their pies are quickly placed in front of them and Robin leaves them be to wipe down the rest of the tables. Technically the diner is closed now but since she knows both Dean and Benny, she lets them stay. "Cherry is my favorite. Yours?" he stabs the pie with his fork.

"Love me some pie." Dean almost has an orgasm when he takes a bite of his, "Mm- but Robin here-" he points his fork at her, "She makes the best strawberry and creme pie ever. It's her own invention." They laugh over their pie and talk some more, Robin brings them coffee as well to wash it down. Dean's having such a great time that his smile falls when he realizes that he kind of feels like he's on a date. This is so not a _date._ Dean suddenly stands up, "Well Benny-" and drops a five dollar bill on the table for a tip. "Nice hangin' out but I better go-"

Benny quickly stands up as well and fishes in his wallet for Robin's tip, "I'm giving you a ride, don't fight me. It's late and I don't want something to happen to you." Dean nods, his face feels warm and he prays his face isn't red. The whole ride back to the house he's mentally kicking himself as to why older men make him feel weak at the knees.

"Here we are." Benny parks up front, leaving the car and the air conditioning running- the night was hot and humid. As usual.

Dean smiles awkwardly, his hands clasped together on his lap. _Why does it feel like a date._ "Night Benny." he reaches for the door handle when the cop stops him from getting out right then. "What?" he looks into his blue eyes. They aren't as blue as Castiel's- he's got the ocean in his eyes.

The older man is serious for a few seconds before smiling, "You got a little-" he uses his thumb to wipe off some dried up cherry filling on the corner of his mouth. 

Dean blushes, "See ya around." he quickly lets himself out of the patrol car and walks up the porch steps. After letting himself inside the house he finds himself leaning against the door, his heart pounding. _The fuck._ Dean strips as he makes his way down the hall and into the bathroom- for a cold shower. While in the shower he missed Castiel's call to let him know Bobby would be on his way back with _Cassie_ soon. Maybe tomorrow afternoon.

The cool water hits his hot skin, his eyes close in response. After the day he's had, or the night he's had- he needs to cool down. As he lathers up his body, his right hand lazy wraps around his hardening cock- he strokes slowly. "Mmph-" Dean moans softly, it's nice having the house all to himself. No one can hear him- he continues stroking himself, slowly and lazily like he's masturbating just because he's got the time. Blue eyes cross his mind and he can't tell if they belong to Castiel or Benny. "Shit-" he lets go of himself and quickly rinses off his soapy body.

When he steps out of the shower he stands in front of the mirror and looks at his reflection for a long time, eventually he begins talking to it- "Why do you friggin' like when men are nice to you-" of course it mimics him instead of answering his question and it pisses him off. He's about to punch the twin staring back at him but decides against it- he'd have to explain the broken mirror to his uncle. 

His phone starts going off in his room and he rushes over to it, "Yea?" he answers it, breathless, without looking who it was. "Oh- hey Cas."

"Oh hey Cas?" Castiel repeats, "You don't miss me?"

"Shut up, you know I do. I was at the diner with Benny."

"How did that go? Bobby told me he was meeting you tonight." he sounds disinterested. 

"Well he showed up-I didn't think he would." Dean falls on his bed, the cool sheets against his clean skin make him feel relaxed almost instantly. He quickly steers the conversation elsewhere, doesn't want him jealous of Benny. "So Cas, tell me- how's the house coming along." he asks but he doesn't really care how it's going. Honestly, he's jealous of the new couple that will be moving in. They get to live in the new and improved version of his house and it's not fair but maybe it's for the best, lots of old wounds there that haven't healed yet and probably never would.

Castiel is silent for a while, "It's coming along. I'll send you pictures when we hang up."

"Listen, Cas. Know we haven't talked the last few days but- I'm beat." he lies, "Mind sendin' me those pics and we'll talk tomorrow?" Castiel agrees and they hang up, not long his phone keeps pinging with pictures of the improving home. 

Dean looks through all the pictures and his eye's well up with tears- the house actually looks nice. Like no Winchester had ever lived there and maybe that was a good thing. There's plenty that happened there- things he still hasn't told anyone about. Not even his step dad. Stuff that happened with _John._

He must have cried himself to sleep because he doesn't remember crashing- In the morning he's woken up by loud knocking a the front door. "Bobby-" Dean says aloud as he rolls out of bed to answer the door, when he gets to the door and opens it he says- "You forgot your keys-" _It's Benny. Not Bobby._ "Whats up?" he's suddenly very aware that he's only wearing boxers. Benny notices too but keeps his eyes fixed on his. 

"I brought you breakfast." Benny walks inside the house like he owns it and Dean scoffs. 

"Why?" his tone is rude and he knows it, he just doesn't care. _Who does this guy think he is?_

Benny sets everything on the kitchen table, "Bobby told me about-" he gives him a once over, "Your eating problem-says you won't eat if no one tells you to." he waves him over, "Come on." 

Dean cringes in hatred and breakfast was eaten in silence, the cop tried to make conversation every once in a while but Dean shrugged or grunted in response, clearly not wanting to talk about anything. "I'm done-" he sets his fork down and he's about to stand up when the guy grabs his wrist, "What the hell-" 

"Dean-" 

Suddenly fear sets in, this feels weird and It feels wrong. He thinks the guy is attractive sure, but he's scaring him right now. "Please let go." he says so softly he doesn't recognize his own voice. Benny stands up and he feels glued to his seat, "Please let go!" he yells, unaware of the tears that had started falling down his cheeks. 

The cop lets go, "Dean-I wasn't going to hurt you. Not like _that."_ he looks down for a moment, "I have some news to tell you, Gordon- he isn't in his cell-"

Dean looks up at him and it just hit him how badly Gordon had really messed him up, mentally. Here's Benny, a cop and a totally normal guy who is being nice to him because he's his uncles friend- and he thought he was going to hurt him the same way. "Sorry." he wipes his face, "I didn't mean to yell- just thought you were gonna-you know."

Benny smiles, "Don't worry about it." he crouches down on his knees so he's at eye level with the teen. "Did you hear what I said? Gordon hasn't been in his cell- since yesterday." Dean nods sadly, still refusing to make eye contact. "He's still got a few cop friends around and we think one of them helped him get out."

"What happens now?" Dean bites on his thumb nail, "Should I be worried?"

"No, he doesn't know where you live." Benny pats his shoulder before getting up, he's about to head out when he stops to say- "I'd never hurt you, I've known your uncle for years." he smiles once more before closing the door behind him.

Dean quickly grabs his phone from where it had been charging on the kitchen table, "Pick up-" he waits. "Cas-"

"What's wrong baby?" he says gently, recognizing the anguish in his voice right away.

"Friggin' Gordon escaped from prison- Benny thinks one of the cops let him out on purpose."

Castiel curses under his breath- "Dean, I'm almost done. The house is ready and later today that couple I told you about is coming to take a look around, once they sign the lease I'll come back." 

"You will?" Dean starts crying again. "Promise?"

"I promise, I'll always protect you baby." When Dean calms down enough to be alone, they hang up. Castiel had packed up most of their things and the rest he figured he'd donate. Which he did- what he didn't intend to take back to Bobby's he dropped off at Good Will. As soon as he drove up the drive way he saw them. The couple interested in renting.

Castiel quickly got out of his car and introduced himself- after showing them the house they fell in love with it and why wouldn't they, he spent almost two weeks repairing the small things that needed fixing. All the rooms had been repainted, he even cut the grass outside and tossed all of Johns old junk that he'd left out back. The place looked great- it finally looked like it belonged with the rest of the neighborhood.

"So, you'll take it?" Castiel asks the young couple after he had given them the small tour of the place and explained everything they needed to know about it. They said _yes_ instantly and relief floods his body. "Great-" he hands them the forms he had been holding onto while showing them around, "Sign here." 

He escorts the couple back to their car and hands them the key, "Please take care of the house, it means a lot to me-" they agreed and thanked him. "- and I hope you'll be happy here." he waves goodbye as they drive off.

Castiel goes inside one final time and looks around, he would never tell Dean but he did shed a few tears. He watched Dean grow up here- it's where they fell in love.

It was the end of this chapter, a chapter filled with pain, heartbreak and a whole lot of _love._ But it's over and a new one was about to begin- he couldn't wait to see what was in store. Castiel bends down to pick up the last box filled with Dean's things and heads out to his car to drive the four hours it took to arrive to his new life.

Bobby had shown up at the house earlier that day with _Cassie._ Unfortunately he didn't have the time to fix her up just yet- having quite a few cars out back that needed tending to first. He helped his uncle for a few hours in the afternoon until he got too hot and just needed to go cool off with a drink. That's how he ended up on the front porch steps, drinking the last beer that was hiding in the fridge behind some left over pizza from the other night when he sees Castiel's car driving up the road. 

He stands up, "No fucking shit-" when the car stops in front of the home he runs up to it and just stands there like an idiot. "You didn't tell me you were on your way back-" 

"Wanted to surprise you." Castiel climbs out of the car and pulls him in for a hug. "Missed you so much-" he glances around, "Bobby working out back?" Dean nods, that's all he needs to give him a quick peck on the lips and whispers in his ear- "Meet me in the woods tonight."

Dean nods, unable to say anything and simply watches the man carry a few boxes into the house. Eventually he snaps out of it and helps him with the final few- after all they were his boxes. Dean slowly unpacks one of the boxes that belonged to him and it surprises him that he doesn't really want any of it. He doesn't want his fathers old shirts that he used to wear and he certainly didn't want his fathers military tags. Not even his old boots. Castiel knocks on the door, "Dinner's ready." Dean turns around to look at him, he's folding his fathers shirts and placing them back in the box- as well his boots and the tags. "What are you doing?"

He closes the box and lifts it up, carrying it down the hall with Castiel following him all the way outside, "Gonna toss it." he says and places the box of his fathers things next to the garbage can.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep-" 

Dean nods, "So Cas- What's for dinner?" Castiel wraps an arm around the teens neck playfully while they head back up the porch steps.

Bobby yells at them as soon as they walk in through the screen door, "Quit messin' around foods gettin' cold!" both Dean and Castiel laugh out loud and they take their seats at the table.

They're finally _home._


	43. Diet Coke

Dean's recent therapy session hadn't gone well. Bobby knew and so did Castiel knew, he'd been cooped up in his room or outside shooting beer cans but mostly he spent his time working on _Cassie._ His baby. They both begged him to eat something and he almost always refused. It was sheer luck when he accepted the occasional bottle of water or soda he was offered. 

Bobby and Castiel needed to know what happened in therapy. _What did he have to talk about this time?_ They knew he didn't want to go, he was simply doing it to _move on_ as he liked calling it.

Dean hadn't thrown any tantrums lately, even when he was pissed he kept his cool. He'd become silent in those moments and that's why it was such a shock when Castiel hears glass shattering out back where he would spend his time figuring out what was wrong with his car. "Son of a bitch!" he yells, using an old crow bar to bash in all the windows. When those were completely broken in he started repeatedly hitting the cars trunk as he unleashed all of his anger.

Luckily Bobby hadn't been home in that moment or he would've tore him a new one for destroying the car they were working so hard day in and day out to repair. Castiel bursts through the back screen door, "Dean!" and yanks him by the arm, away from his car. "What's wrong with you?!"

Dean spits on the ground, "Leave me alone." and drops the crow bar. Castiel stays, waiting for an answer. "I'm serious Cas, unless you wanna get punched- get the fuck away from me."

"Tell me what's going on-" and that did it. It earned him that punched he was warned about. "Fuck-" Castiel groans, pinching his nose in pain, blood dripped from both nostrils. "I think you broke my nose-" he uses the end of his shirt to wipe it clean, but red keeps coming.

Dean doesn't feel guilty because right now he's just pissed. He's angry at the world and he hates everything and everyone. "I told you to go Cas-" after he wipes his bloody knuckles on his shirt he says- "I'll get you some ice." and goes into the kitchen- wrapping a few ice cubes in a dish rag for his step dad. Now the guilt starts to hit him a little, but not much or he would apologize. Instead- he presses the poorly done ice pack to Castiel's nose and he winces in pain. 

Castiel wipes away a tear that rolled down his cheek- it hurt that bad, and takes the ice pack from Dean. "I think I have to go to the hospital-"

The guilt in Dean Winchester slowly rises, "Really?" but not enough to beg for forgiveness just yet. 

"You broke my nose-" Castiel coughs as a wave of nausea hits him because of all the blood dripping down his chin, "You're taking me to the hospital-" Dean's about to protest but the glare he's given has him quickly going for the keys. Castiel goes to the bathroom to change out of his bloody shirt, he also rinses his face off with warm water to get most of the blood off himself and in two minutes he's ready to go, the ice pack is still pressed to his face.

They didn't speak one word to each other on the way to the hospital- not even while they sat in the waiting room for half an hour. Castiel went in by himself to see the doctor and had an x ray done. When he came back- the green eyed teen was just there waiting for him, biting his nails out of boredom. "Finally." he stands.

Castiel's still angry when they head out, the doctor had let him know that his nose wasn't broken but had given him something for the pain anyway and a _real_ ice pack. Yet again they don't speak on the drive home.

As they walk up the porch steps Dean punches his shoulder playfully, "I didn't break your nose so why are you pissed-" the silent treatment continues. "Come on, s'not the first time we hit each other-" Castiel winces at that, "Everything's fine Cas." he pulls the older man in for a quick hug, "We're peachy." he winks. 

"Why are you acting like this?" Castiel peels himself away from Dean. "Are you on something?" he'd already been suspecting he was on something but didn't know what just yet.

Something else Castiel didn't know was that Dean had made a new friend in town, some guy named _Brady_ \- he'd give Dean a few hits of his joint whenever they saw each other. Both Bobby and Castiel simply thought Dean was going into town to see Robin at the diner but instead he had been meeting up with this new friend. Dean and Brady met at _O'Riley Auto parts-_ which is a store he'd been visiting quite frequently now with all the repairs he'd have to do on _Cassie._

Castiel repeats the question and he shakes his head, "No, of course not-" his eyes look away for fear he may see his dilated pupils. Kind of hard to miss when his eyes are the palest shade of green there is. "I'm sorry I hit you, k?" When his step dad nods in acceptance of his apology he goes outside to clean up all the broken glass.

The next day Dean wakes up early and tries to sneak out of the house but it's impossible with the two early birds already at the kitchen table having breakfast. "Where are you going?" Castiel asks him and by the look on his face he's still pissed about his nose. The look on Bobby's face tells him he doesn't care about the drama going on between them, he doubts his uncle's even realized Castiel's injured nose now that there's no blood dripping from it, it's just a tad swollen with minimal bruising.

"Gonna head into town, car needs spark plugs-" he grabs Bobby's keys off the wall hook, no one stops him from going so he leaves right then. He was anxious for _something._

The door at O'Riley's auto parts makes a buzzing sound when he walks in. "Hey man-" he greets his new friend Brady by the front counter. "Need spark plugs-"

"I bet." Brady smiles, in that cocky preppy ass way that makes you want to punch him. He's a few years older than Dean but he looks just as young, not suspicious at all. "Follow me." Brady makes his way out back, looking through the stock room for what he was asked for- usually customers aren't allowed back here but Dean's a friend. A special friend who not only buys car parts from him but also gives him a couple bucks for a few drags of his joint. "Here you are-" he hands him a box that contained the spark plugs.

Brady looks around to make sure no ones there, "You wanna?" he gestures towards the back door- Dean nods. Once they exit through the back door Brady turns around, "Got your spark plug right here-" he takes out his lighter and Deans puts the thinly rolled joint between his soft lips- his friend lights it up and he inhales slowly. 

Dean coughs, "I suck at this-" he hands it back after a few drags. His slightly older friend reaches in his pocket and pulls out a really small bag filled with white powder. "What's that?" 

"Well it isn't weed." he flicks the tiny bag a few times and pulls out his drivers license, Dean watches him pour the white powder on top of the box that contained the spark plugs and uses his license to make it into a fine line. Brady snorts it up his nose with a rolled up dollar bill. "Wanna hit?"

Dean swallows, he didn't know anything about drugs. Weed was completely new for him, but coke? Hell, the only thing he's done that was borderline drug use had been smoking a cigarette once in a while or taking a little bit too much Nyquil to help him relax. "I dunno man-" 

Brady pulls him closer, they're standing so close Dean gulps down his nerves. His friend rubs a little bit of the powder on his lips and pours just the tiniest bit on his smooth pink tongue. "Don't be scared-" Brady pulls him in even closer and kisses him, tongue and all. Dean tries to fight it but ends up giving in- he can _taste_ it. Making out with Brady feels different and he doesn't know if it's because of _Brady_ himself or if it's the coke on his tongue that made the kiss feel good.

Eventually they pull away- he pats Dean on the back, laughing. "You alright?" Dean nods innocently and Brady grabs him by the face a little too roughly, "Now Dean, this is more expensive than weed so-" Dean nods, pulling out his wallet for the money- "That's not what I want." he smiles that cocky grin again and slowly pushes Dean onto his knees. "I like cash but I like head a lot more."

That stuff he just licked off his friend's tongue was something different and he's surprised by how much he likes it. Dean stays on his knees and Brady lets him snort a line up his nose this time and instantly he's rock hard in his jeans- unable to help himself- he starts rubbing an open palm over bulge beneath his zipper. 

Brady smiles down at him, "Knew you'd like it-" he pulls his cock out and Dean actually gives him head. It's only fair, his friend made him feel good- so he had to make his friend feel good. Crappy logic but Dean Winchester is only seventeen years old and he's bound to experiment with drugs sooner or later. After he got _paid_ , they both stumble up front towards the cash register and his spark plugs are ringed up. Brady hands him the receipt, "I'll just pretend you paid for these, alright?" Dean nods, box in hand. "Later, Winchester." 

Dean tries his best to drive safe but it's hard, his first time doing coke and it has him feeling the hulk right now- he drives back to Bobby's way above the speed limit. As soon as he steps through the front door he hears Castiel say- "What took you so long? You were gone two hours."

"Uh-" Dean swallows, he's thirsty. "The guy who works there is my friend, we got to talking- you know how it is. " he walks into the kitchen and sets the box down on the table, heading for the fridge. 

"You haven't eaten yet have you-" Castiel says but he barely heard it, his ears are ringing and he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge- he chugs half of it before pouring the rest on his head. "Whats wrong with you?" 

Dean looks at him, "What?" Castiel asks him again, "What?" he says louder, he grabs too many paper towels to dry off his wet face. "Stop your bitching already-"

"I want you to go take a shower and eat something- you stink like hell." Castiel winces at the teens body odor. When he's left alone in the kitchen he smells his shirt and he does smell bad, his shirt is almost completely soaked in sweat. He obeys his step dad and goes inside the bathroom for a shower, once clean he sneaks into Castiel's room. "I thought I told you to eat something-" 

"I'm so fucking horny-" Dean almost moans, "You wanna fool around? Promise I won't make noise-" Although the offer is tempting, Castiel refuses- his behavior is stranger than usual. "Whatever." he leaves and goes out back to help his uncle with _Cassie_. Bobby hadn't noticed anything was wrong with him that day, though within the next few days they do notice that he's eating less than usual and being way too hyper. 

"Cas!" Dean wakes him up early one morning, pulling him by the arm- "Come run with me." 

Castiel groans, it was six in the morning but he humors the love of his life anyway and goes running with him. Dean wins the race- no surprise there. "You beat me-" he turns around and sleepily starts walking back to the house, "I need coffee." and he turns down the offer for another race. "Sit down-" he orders once inside, "You need to eat, don't think I haven't noticed."

Dean sits down at the table, watching the older man crack a few eggs into a sizzling pan. "Noticed what?" 

"You're starving yourself again." Dean hadn't noticed, "I'm not mad, just don't do it anymore-" They eat breakfast in comfortable silence until Bobby takes a seat at the table and Dean's bouncing off his energy as they talk about cars- even entertains him when his uncle gives him the _talk_ about the birds and the bees.

He wipes his mouth on a napkin, "Gonna go work on my car." he says before going out back.

"He's acting weird." Castiel says, sipping his coffee.

"He's always been weird-" Bobby gets up too, patting him on the shoulder before joining the teen out back. Castiel's clearing the table when there's a knock on the front door- he stops what he's doing and goes to open the door.

"Can I help you?" his eyes scan the extremely tall teenager that stands before him. 

Brady smiles, "Is Dean around?"

Castiel instantly wants to slam the door in his stupid smug face, "And you are-"

"Brady." they shake hands and Castiel lets him step inside the home, "Dean owes me some money."

"For the car parts right?" Brady nods and Castiel reaches for his wallet- "I'll just pay you-" pulling out a few twenties. "That should cover it."

Brady pockets the money, "Mind if I say hi to Dean? Kinda wanted to hang out for a bit." Castiel doesn't like it but agrees and leads him out back to Dean. 

Dean notices him right away and wipes his dirty hands on his jeans, "Hey man-" they shake hands. "What are you doin' here?" Bobby goes inside because he doesn't care what they have to talk about, he really doesn't want to listen to two boys yapping. Castiel stays though, arms crossed at his chest. "Uh Cas, you mind?" he looks at the screen door.

"Fine." Castiel leaves them alone.

Brady leans against Cassie, "You owe me, Winchester." Dean licks his lips, "Your dad paid me for the parts but- you know that other thing you just can't seem to go without?" Dean sniffles as if on cue, "Yeah, that thing. It costs a lot of money-" 

"We're at my house." Dean deadpans, "I can't blow you here."

Castiel watches the two teenagers interact from the window, Bobby comes up beside him. "Why you spyin' on em?"

"Don't you think he's too old to be hanging out with Dean?" 

"The kid is nineteen." Bobby laughs, "It's fine." and he leaves him alone by the window. 

"Figure it out Winchester." Brady glares at Dean in a friendly way because he knows he's being watched, but his tone stays harsh. 

Dean wipes the sweat off his forehead with the end of his shirt, doing his best to act Casual because he knows blue eyes are watching them. "You know I only suck your dick because I like what you give me-" Brady laughs, "I don't like you like that, I have a girlfriend." and it was true, he did. To the knowledge of the world, Robin was his girlfriend but only three people in the entire universe knew it was just a cover and those people were himself, Castiel and Robin.

"You fucking that diner chick?" he smiles, "She's pretty-"

"Don't get any ideas-" Dean picks up a tool and resumes working on Cassie. 

Brady bends over the car too as if helping his friend fix her, "You know Winchester, for a straight guy you suck my dick like you enjoy it-" Dean works through that comment, not letting it affect him even though on the inside he's screaming. He knows Castiel is still watching. "You sure you like girls?" Dean nods. "Really cause I'm betting that you don't." Brady actually starts helping Dean and it looks like two friends hanging out for a while until he opens his mouth again. "You fuck her yet?"

"That's none of your business." 

"You haven't." Brady laughs, wiping his hand on his uniform pants like he's done helping him out with the car. He studies Dean, "You don't act like a virgin so who'd you fuck?"

"What?" Dean stands up straight and rubs the knot in his lower back with his dirty hand. 

"Or should I say-" he leans in closer, "Who fucked you?"

"You should go now." he says harshly but he smiles, because blue eyes are watching. "Seriously man, leave." he's still smiling, nodding like they're just having a casual conversation.

"Did your dad fuck you?" Brady looks over at the window where sure enough Castiel is spying on them. "He's way over protective over you-"

"Son of a bitch-" Dean forces a fake laugh and another smile. 

"Listen-" Brady steps closer, arms crossed at his chest. "How about-" he says this extra softly, "I come back after dark and you suck my dick in the front seat of my car. How's that?"

"And if I don't want to?" 

Brady shrugs, "Then I won't give you that thing you like so much, you know it's not free."

"Fine." Dean fake smiles.

"See you tonight Winchester." Brady ruffles up Dean's short brown hair and leaves, although he's a jerk he politely says goodbye to Castiel and Bobby on his way out. That night as promised, Brady shows up and he meets him down the road from Bobby's. The car was parked near the wooden fence by some trees so it wasn't visible in the darkness. 

Dean lets himself inside the air conditioned car and leans back on the leather seats. "You know-" he says, "For minimum wage you have a nice car." 

Brady laughs, "You can't be that naive, that doesn't even pay the insurance on this baby-" he grips the steering wheel in admiration.

"Right-" Dean licks his lips, "Can we just get this over with?"

Brady unzips his fly and pulls himself out and Dean gets to work on _paying_ him. Once it's over, Dean wipes his mouth on the sleeve of his black henley. "Thanks Buddy, I really needed that." he smiles and Dean's about to get out of the car when he's stopped. "This ones on me."

Dean watches him form two lines of the thin white powder on the dashboard with his drivers license. He hesitates, "Why?"

"Does it matter? Come on man just do it." and he does it, they both do. 

Dean groans, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second as a migraine hits him all of a sudden, "Fuck-" and yet it still feels good because he's hard instantly.

Brady notices, "Well you better go in there-" he laughs, "Have dad fuck you." and for that, Dean grabs him by the head and slams him against the steering wheel of his nice car. "Fuck Winchester, I was kidding-"

"Yea." Dean smiles and gets out, he wasn't really offended by that comment he was just _high._ Thought tonight something goes wrong, that migraine he got doesn't go away even after a few aspirin. Worse yet, as the night goes on he's got the chills and shakes and it's not long before he's sneaking into Castiel's room to complain that he doesn't feel well. "Cas- wake up-" he shoves the sleeping man in his own bed. "Wake up damn it-"

Castiel opens his eyes slowly, "What-"

Dean hugs himself, "I feel like shit, can I sleep here with you?"

Castiel groans and lifts the blanket to let him in. After a minute he feels the heat coming off his body and the sweat on the sheets underneath them both. "What's wrong with you?" he gets up and turns on the light, finally seeing how pale Dean is. "Dean-"

Dean's trembling, "Don't get mad-"

Castiel crosses his arms at his chest. "What have you done-" he had already suspected Dean was up to something involving drugs because of the way he looked and been acting recently- he knew the tell tale signs of drug use but he wanted his confirmation. 

Dean smiles nervously, suddenly very afraid of what his step dad might to do him. Castiel isn't big on physical discipline but there's always a first time for everything. "You know Brady?" Castiel rolls his eyes, nodding. "Well he uh-gave me somethin'-" he lets that part die off.

"Excuse me, I didn't hear you-" he already looks pissed, like he already knows what he means but wants him to say it anyway.

"He gave me coke alright!" Dean hisses, pulling up the covers to his nose because he's freezing. 

"Cocaine?" Castiel asks him yet again, his tone very angry and his face is red. "What the fuck are you thinking!" he yanks the covers off the shivering teen. He looks sick. "Answer me!" Bobby opens the bedroom door and demands to know what's with all the screaming.

"Let me handle this Bobby!" he yells at the bearded man and he's asked what Dean did, "He obviously loves to piss me off-" Dean stays silent until his uncle leaves so they handle the situation themselves.

"Cas I'm sorry-" Dean whines, "I was starting to feel like crap again-like before we came here." and it's a lie- he wasn't feeling like that again.

"And whose fault is that? That's what happens when you don't eat. Damn it Dean-" he's pacing around the room, thinking. "How many times did you do it?" and he counts the times on two hands, around eight. Castiel shakes his head, "You're supposed to come to me with your problems, not that stupid-I forbid you from seeing that fucking kid again."

Now Dean gets pissed, "You _forbid_ me?" he laughs, "You can't do that-"

"I just did!" he roars, actually sounding like an angry father whose caught him messing with the wrong crowd- because he was. "I don't want you being friends with him anymore! He's too old for you to be hanging around with-"

"You're too old-" Dean snaps at him and he knows its a low blow which is why he instantly wishes he could take it back. Castiel falls silent after he makes that comment and he takes his pillow with him to the living room for his night ahead of him on the couch. He's still angry with him, but Dean is sick right now and even though he yelled- he doesn't have the heart to kick him out of his bed in his condition. How awful he feels right now will be a lesson for him- don't do drugs. He just hopes he takes the lesson for what it is. 

Castiel had woken up to the sound of the toilet being flushed, he looks at his phone and sees it was only four in the morning. He gets up and knocks on the bathroom door, "Heartburn again Bobby?" he says, opening the door to find Dean instead- sitting on the floor looking like death and wiping the tears he got in his eyes when he was getting sick. Castiel comes in and leans against the sink, "Was it worth it?" 

Dean doesn't even look at him, he feels like he's about to die- he's never even been hung over before but if this is what it's like he's never getting drunk. "Not now Cas." 

"I'll get you something to help your stomach-" When he returns he hands Dean a can of chilled Sprite, Dean looks at him funny. "Just drink it." and leaves him alone in the bathroom because he is still pissed over Dean's choices. He drinks the whole can of Sprite one sip at a time and though he still feels like death- his stomach has settled and he considers it a win. 

Dean exits the bathroom and makes his way to the couch, taking a seat next to the older man. "I just wanted a quick fix-" he looks up at Castiel with tears in his green eyes. "I just wanted it all to go away-" Castiel pulls him close in a side hug and he rests his head on his chest. "Sorry I always let you down-"

"You're a teenager, I expect you to let me down-" Castiel runs his fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck, he's sweaty. "You're allowed to make mistakes, I made them too." Dean peeks up at him as if asking him to tell him his mistakes. "In med school-" he pauses, "-I often took Adderall, it was better than coffee for all the long nights I spent studying."

"Nerdy and bad-" Dean laughs softly against his chest. 

"It's not funny Dean, It was really hard to quit- even after med school-" he sighs, "It was a problem for a long time."

He nods, "I get it Cas, I'm sorry for what I did." after a beat he asks "How did you stop?"

"I got really sick when I ran out-" he sighs again, "-ended up in the hospital."

Dean sits up, "You never told me that."

Castiel shrugs dumbly, "It was one of my weaker moments-"

"Are you mad at me?" Dean blurts out. "About me doin' coke-"

"Yes, extremely."

"You gonna ground me?" Dean looks at him so seriously that Castiel smiles. 

"I'll think about it." He kisses the teens sweaty hair and gets up, "I'm going back to my room, I assume you're going-" Dean nods, "Sweet dreams, Dean." and that kind of hurts him, for him not to say baby or sweetie- he said Dean. He really is disappointed in him, he thinks as he gets into his own bed to hopefully sleep. In the morning, his uncle and Castiel are eating away and he's just staring at his plate of eggs and toast like it's the most disgusting and vile thing that's been put in front of him.

"You don't like my food now boy?" Bobby huffs.

Dean pushes it away, "I was sick last night, not hungry yet." Bobby nods in understanding, for the first time he doesn't nag him about it because he actually does look sick and is not just being a brat about his food. He's about to make his way out back to work on the car when Bobby tells him to not, it's way to hot and it could make him feel worse- tells him to go into town and see his _girlfriend._ "You cool with that?" he looks over at Castiel. 

"Sure." He smiles. "Call me if you need anything-" with that he's off. Dean doesn't go to the diner to visit Robin, he goes to O'Rileys to visit Brady instead. The door buzzes when he walks in as always. Brady looks up at him from the book he was reading, there hadn't been a customer in a while and he was bored.

"Never took you for the intellectual type." Dean says with no emotion. "I need-" 

Brady looks at him, "I know, you look like shit." Dean follows him out back even though he knows he shouldn't- he's not a true friend if he's pressuring Dean into doing drugs. Smoking weed with Brady had been fun- he'd smoke and Dean just took a few hits, no problem. But coke, he was starting to feel like it was being forced upon him to do it. Pure peer pressure and he was giving in. 

"Why doesn't it make you sick?" He asks, referring to the drugs. 

"That's because I do it every day-" he smiles, handing him his license with a small mountain of white powder on one of the corners of the card. 

Dean covers a nostril and leans over, snorting it up his nose. "Shit-" he suddenly feels relaxed and hyper at the same time, it's an odd feeling to have at once but he can't help that he does like it. Brady licks some off his card and moves in like he's about to kiss him again, because he is when Dean holds him in place about a foot away from him. "Don't be gettin' gay on me now-" Brady shrugs and shoves his tongue in Dean's mouth anyway- Dean moans and kisses him back. Mostly because of what's in his mouth, once he can no longer taste the power on his tongue he pushes him away- "Friggin' fag-"

Brady pushes him back, "Says the faggot." 

Dean adjusts himself in his pants before saying, "Later." and leaving. He actually feels well enough so he does go see Robin after all, "Hey sweet cheeks." he tells her when she walks by in her skirt and he mentally kicks himself for the cheesy pick up line.

"Sweet cheeks?" she comes to him, pad in hand ready to take his order. "What's up with you?"

"Why does everybody keep asking me that-"

"Because you look like crap-" she whispers, "Are you sick?" he nods because it's easier than telling her he might now have a dope problem thanks to his new friend. "If you're sick you really shouldn't be eating the food around here- too greasy."

"Are you gonna serve me or not?" Dean snaps at her and she takes a step back in fear. He's usually so sweet to her. "Sorry-" she leaves without taking his order and returns with his usual. "Thanks-" she leaves for good this time. A different waitress hands him the check when he's done, he pays and goes outside to his uncles truck- before he can get in Robin comes up behind him and places a hand on his shoulder. Without thinking he grabs it harshly, hurting her- "Sorry, I didn't see you."

She squeals in pain, "You're a jerk!" she holds onto her wrist.

"I'm sorry-" he pleads his apology, "Sorry- I'm sorry, let me look at it." she lets him examine her wrist and he kisses it a few times. "See? I'm sorry-" he kisses it once more. 

She takes back her arm and holds it again, "Somethings going on with you-" she studies him. "You're not sick, you're hiding something." 

Dean looks away, "Dunno what you're talking about."

"I think we should break up-" she wipes a tear from her face, "I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm not gonna let you use me to keep your secret if you're gonna start keeping them from me." she walks off, ignoring when Dean calls her name. He thinks about going after her but decides against it and lets her cool off.

He mopes around all day doing nothing when he gets back. All he really wants to do is work on Cassie but Bobby forbid it- it's way too hot outside to be working in his condition so he obeys and stays indoors during the day. When the sun goes down and it gets cooler outside he goes to sulk on the front porch, in his favorite rocking hair even if it was Bobby's.

"What happened?" Castiel comes outside and leans against the porch railing once the sun had gone down. "You've been sad all day."

"Robin broke up with me." he says it and crosses his arms at his chest like a toddler. "She doesn't want to keep our secret anymore."

"Yeah? What did you do to her-" he knows Dean all to well. 

"I might've-" Dean looks up at him, "Hurt her wrist." Castiel's eyebrows raise a little in surprise. "I wasn't tryin' to! She came up behind me-"

"That's great-" he says sarcastically. "I don't care what you have to do but you're going to make it up to her. I didn't raise you to hurt girls-"

Dean smiles sadly, Cas, you're acting like you're my dad-" 

"I sort of am." Castiel looks at him, "I don't care if she keeps our secret. What I care about is you being a good friend to her so go fix it." Dean nods and watches his step dad go inside. He's just glad Castiel hadn't noticed that he was high again after he promised he wouldn't do it anymore.

A few days without his fix and hes beyond anxious, his hand tramples and he sets down the wrench his uncle just gave him. "You alright?" hes asked and he nods but the paleness of his face says otherwise. "Go inside boy, you helped me enough today."

By now he's already apologized to Robin and once she cooled off, she volunteered to be his fake girlfriend once more. It was one less thing he had to worry about.

The day was still early, a little bit passed noon when he decides to just give into what he wants. "Cas, I'm gonna go over to Robin's. Watch a movie or somethin-" he nods and watches the teen grab the keys to head out.

He fully intends to go watch a movie at Robin's but he's gotta make a quick pit stop first. Dean heads to see Brady first at his apartment and he'd been jealous of it the first time he saw the place. It wasn't super fancy or anything but he lived alone and he was jealous of that. Because of his situation with Castiel, he may never experience what it was like to live on his own.

Dean knocks on the front door of the apartment, when the door opens he says "hey." and hes quickly allowed inside. "Guess you know why I'm here-"

Brady nods, looking like he had just rolled out of bed. He doesn't say anything just goes to his bedroom to grab what his guest came for and hands it to him when he comes back. He's never been given anything before, they usually just share what he's got. "Go on, take it." He holds up the small white bag that wasn't even half full.

Dean hesitates but takes the product anyway, "And what are you gonna want for this?" Like clock work, his new best friend pulls out his junk and he's got no other choice but to go down on his knees. When he's done he wipes his mouth and takes the beer he's given. 

They sit on the couch and have a few too many, Dean's a lightweight- two beers in and he's already asleep on Brady's couch. Brady has six beers and somehow they end up on his bed. Neither of them remember how they got there but only Dean freaks out when he wakes up the next morning. 

Castiel is going to kill him for not coming home-that's the first thought he has when he opens his eyes, his next thought is- "We didn't have sex did we?" He asks him.

Brady yawns, "Yeah we fucked." Dean glares at him, "No, we didn't. Chill."

He's got a massive headache and the first thing he does is some coke and then he laced up his boots, "Later." He mumbles to his friend who had fallen back asleep.

When he makes it back to the house he carefully walks in through both the front door and the screen as carefully as he can manage without making noise but he's caught anyway.

"Dean." Castiel is at the table with a cup of coffee, looking like he hadn't gone to bed at all. He _waited_ for him, _fuck._ "Where were you?" Yup, he's pissed.

"With Robin-" He lies.

"That's what I thought so I called her mom, she said you never showed up. You were with that friend weren't you-"

"Yea-" he admits and braces for something to come his way. A spanking or a smack to the head, something. But it doesn't come, so he opens his eyes again. 

"Dean." Castiel's voice softens. "I know you're hurting, but don't go down this road." He stands up wearily, "I'm going to bed." and yet again he gets no goodnight kiss or an I love you and It hurts him that his new habit is putting a wedge between them both. Dean can't possibly sleep any more than he already had at Brady's so before the sun has fully risen in the sky he goes outside and works on cutting the grass around the property.

He's so preoccupied with the task at hand he doesn't realize when his uncle calls him in for lunch until he hears a whistle from afar and he cuts the lawn mower. "Yea!" he shouts at him, the sun high in the sky makes him squint as he looks over at the bearded man standing on the porch.

"Lunch!" he calls out. Dean nods, using his shirt to dry the sweat off his face and chest as he heads back up to the house. "Made sandwiches." He's pleased to see Castiel's at the table too, eating. Bobby doesn't sit down with them, instead he heads out back to finish working before dark. Another thunderstorm was supposedly going to hit them that night.

"Did you tell him?" Dean takes a bite of his sandwich. Castiel shakes his head. 

"I'm only keeping it from him because he would probably beat you if he knew." Castiel wipes his mouth, "I need to go back home for a bit-" Dean gulps and looks up at him, "I'll only be gone today, don't cry." But the tears are coming- Dean can be real tough and strong sometimes but when it comes to Castiel, he's nothing but weak. "There's something going on with the plumbing in the house-I'm just going to take a look, then I'll find a local plumber they can call if they another issue." 

"Fine but I want you back before midnight." Dean pouts. "Leave now-" Castiel rolls his eyes and nods before he gives his love a kiss on the forehead. "Wait!" he hisses, "Kiss me." the older man comes back and plants one on his cheek, "No you ass, kiss me." he's got him by the collar of his shirt and Castiel has no choice but to plant one on his lips.

"Happy?" Dean nods but he isn't happy. He got kissed on the lips like you would kiss a relative hello. "And Dean-" Castiel turns around before leaving, "Be good." 

Dean spends the day sulking alone indoors, Bobby had left in the afternoon to make a grocery run in town and he wasn't in the mood to go with him. He's sitting on the couch watching daytime television when there's a knock at the door. He gets up to answer it, "Oh-" his face falls when he says Brady. "What?" 

Brady steps inside the home, "Where's your folks?"

Dean sighs and shuts the door. "They're not here. Why?" Instantly Brady pushes him against the door and he winces when he doorknob digs into his back. "What the fuck is your problem?"

Brady holds him up against the wooden door, "You owe me." Dean blinks in confusion. "For the coke, I gave you more this time."

"You said-"

"You caught me when I was high alright, I didn't know I gave you that much." 

Dean whines, the doorknob digging into his back is pressing into his spine. "Whatever-" he lets himself slump down to his knees but Brady yanks him back up by the arm. 

"Not here." Brady yanks him down the hall, "Which ones yours?" Dean points to his bedroom door and he's pulled in that direction, once inside Brady throws him on the bed and locks the door. "Take those off, Winchester." he gestures to his sweatpants while he works on taking off his belt.

"What!" Dean's eyes widen in surprise, "Why do I have to take them off?"

"I'm in the mood for some ass today, not a blowjob."

Dean sits up on his bed, "No! No friggin' way!"

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way. What's it gonna be Winchester?" Dean doesn't reply so Brady pushes him down on the bed and flips him over so the side of his face is pressed into the mattress. "It didn't have to be this way-" he says in his ear as he yanks Deans sweats down to his ankles. 

"Stop-" Dean says angrily, he struggles under the body that hovers over him. Brady is pretty thin himself, he's no body builder and he's barely got any muscles- he could take him. But what happened by the train tracks with Gordon Walker has him unable to move just yet. "Stop-not in the mood-" his protests are muffled by the mattress against his face.

"Not gonna hurt you." He kisses the back of Dean's freckled earlobe a few times, "Been wanting to fuck you for a while-" and he struggles some more, "Come on, daddy get's to fuck you-" and that comment pisses him off so much that he headbutts Brady in the face with the back of his head and both of then groan in pain. "Fuck!"

Dean rolls over and pulls up his pants, "I think were done here-" he spits on his now ex friend. "Don't come back here-"

Brady pulls up his pants with one hand because the other was cupping his nose because Dean actually broke it. "You'll pay for this Winchester!" he shouts and runs out of the house and he follows him- soon as the door slams shut he locks it. Once he's calm enough he calls Castiel who answers right before he's sent to voicemail. "Cas-" 

"What is it?" There was movement and noise on his end that suddenly went silence as if he stopped what he was doing to tend to him. "What's wrong?" he repeats.

"Brady-" Dean says over the knot in his throat, "He-" and he can't finish saying it- he starts crying and Castiel hears him kicking things around on his end. "Son of a bitch!"

"Dean-" his voice is soft, "Baby please calm down-I'm almost done here. How about we talk about it when I come back? I'll be there before midnight-" and he glances at his watch, it's already seven. "Okay baby?" Dean sniffles, the line going quiet on his end. Castiel calling him baby always makes him melt into a puddle of goo. "I love you baby, wait up for me." 

"Please hurry, I need you Cas-" Dean urges and hangs up, he's so tired and falls asleep shortly after. When Bobby comes home, he checks up on him and sees him fast asleep on the couch so he doesn't bother him. He's got no idea of what happened. It's almost nine in the evening when there's loud banging on the front door and Bobby answers it. "Yea?" he says rudely to the cops at his door, one of them is Benny.

Dean wakes up and goes to the door, _shit._ "Dean." Benny is the only cop that sets foot in the house, he smiles at them both. "You know this kid?" he looks outside the door and there's his ex friend Brady. He's leaning against the cop car, bloodier than Dean left him. The maniac probably hurt himself or smeared blood all over himself to make the situation worse. "He went down to the station, said you tried to kill him. That true?"

Dean laughs bitterly, "You've gotta be kidding me-that guy's insane!" he takes a step back, away from the cop. "Just cause I broke his friggin' nose doesn't mean I tried to kill-

Benny grabs his wrists and moves to cuff them behind his back and Dean knows better than to try to fight it- he doesn't want to end up with a broken face too. Benny and the other cops escort him down the front porch steps and guide him into the patrol car, "Anything you say- can and will be used against you in the court of law-" he begins reading him his rights and he zones it out, his eyes simply watch Bobby and the house lighting up in red and blue and hates the confusion that's on his face.

It takes them about half an hour to get to the police station because Bobby lived so far out from town. They haul him out of the car roughly and he tries his best to appear tough but all he wants to do is curl up in Castiel's arms and cry forever.

Bobby called him as soon as Dean was arrested and Castiel rushed home. He had already finished up at the house and had given the couple a contact list of people to call in case of emergencies like an electrician, plumber and a local handy man. The trip back to Bobby's was usually four hours long but he made it back in half the time, luckily without a ticket for speeding. He doesn't go to the house, he goes straight to the police station to figure out what's going on.

They have Dean standing in the front- hands still cuffed behind his back and looking like an absolute mess. He was coming down from the coke he had done earlier that day. The only thing he was worried about was getting drug tested because he really didn't want to get locked up or worse, sent to rehab or something wacky like that. He's seen movies about kids who get sent to rehab, it's all about self love and acceptance and _healing._ It's a bunch of bullshit, he thinks. After they take his finger prints and snap a picture of him by the wall- he gets escorted to the bathroom so he could indeed pee in a cup. _Fuck my life.._ Afterwards, they let him sit down out front. 

His knee keeps bouncing up and down, sweat beading up above his lip. He's nervous but not being able to take what he needs right now makes it worse. When the double doors to the police station open, he sees his uncle and his step dad looking worried- "What the hell Dean!" Castiel runs up to him and gets down on his knee right beside him so they can be at eye level, "What happened?"

"I broke Brady's nose-" Dean says that without any emotion. Castiel takes the seat next to him and Bobby sits on the other side.

"You're so reckless." Castiel mutters eventually, "Sometimes I don't know what to do with you-"

Benny comes around, "Dean-" he crooks his finger to beckon him over. Dean gets up slowly and walks carefully to the cop because he feels like he might tip over. "Time for your statement." he's guided into the same room as before when he had to fess up about Gordon and it doesn't help the situation. Benny helps him sit down and then he takes his seat across from the ill looking teen. "Dean, you okay?" he asks before they start. 

"Not really." he says.

"I'll be right back-" when he comes back he places a diet coke and some random snacks on the table. "It's the best I could do- all we have is a vending machine." Dean thanks him and slowly digs into his snacks, its the first thing he's eaten in who knows how long. "Let's get started-" he licks his fingertip before opening his file, "What happened with Brady?" his dark blue eyes bore into his. He can do this- Benny's his friend now.

"Uh-met him at O'Riley's." Benny nods, "Please don't bust me but- we smoked together."

Benny makes a face like he doesn't believe it, "Really, Brady smokes pot?" Dean nods, "Hard to believe, he's in the church choir." Dean rolls his eyes, "He said you owed him money for drugs, is that true?" He nods dumbly and Benny sighs, closing his file and putting his pen away. "Here's what I'm gonna do. You're young and I know you're a good kid and I thought Brady was too but apparently not. Do you know if he sells drugs to anyone else?"

"Yea he does. He told me-his job at O'Riley's is just a cover." Dean chugs the rest of the soda. "Look-" he sits up in his chair, "I only wanted weed alright-" Benny glares, "I have health problems alright-" he defends himself. "-and besides, he never gave me any to take with me- we always shared what he had."

"No other drugs?" Benny relaxes against his chair, arms crossed at his chest- clearly stuck between being Dean's buddy and being a police officer. "I want to help you but I need the truth."

"He pressured me to try coke-" Dean mutters softly. Benny nods. "I didn't want to- I swear."

"I understand, peer pressure is hard to get away from. What else?"

"Just weed and coke, uhm- I went to his place and he gave me a bag of it. I didn't ask for it- I promise."

"Anything else that could help us out?"

Dean groans, running a hand down his face in shame. "I took the friggin' coke alright. He told me it was free that time and the next day he shows up at my house wantin'-"

"Wanting what?" It hits him that he hasn't told the guy how he was paying for the drugs. "Did he want money?" Dean shakes his head, "What did he want in exchange for the drugs Dean?"

"I would-" he gulps, looking down at his cuffed hands on the table. "Perform-" his voice dies off before he can confess. Benny just looks at him, waiting. "He made me suck his dick alright! And he tried to-you know. So I broke his face, end of story." after a beat he adds, "It was self defense."

Benny frowns, "You're a minor." he states. 

"Yea so?"

"He's nineteen- which means he's technically an adult, plus he's pretty much your drug dealer. " Dean repeats his previous statement of _yea so?-_ "So, I think you're free to go and I'll be arresting Brady for selling drugs and attempted sexual assault of a minor." Dean sighs in relief and Benny takes off the cuffs. "Stay here, I'll go tell your folks." It's not long before he comes back, "Your uncle and step dad went home-someone told them you wouldn't be getting out tonight-" he laughs nervously, "Sorry about that, I'll drive you home."

Dean nods and stands up, "Thanks-I'm dying for a shower." Benny drives him all the way back to the house and Dean is forced to listen to all the advice he's being given, about life and staying away from drugs and the wrong crowd. When the car is parked, they talk a few more minutes- "Thanks man, dunno why I get involved with bad people-"

Benny smiles, "Most bad people look like they're bad, that's why. Just be careful Dean, you're so young-" he pats him on the leg, "You have your whole life ahead of you, don't ruin it before you've even had a chance to really live it yet. You got college coming, marriage, kids maybe- don't throw away your chance to have a normal life."

Dean actually thinks about it and nods in agreement, "I'll try to be good." he opens the passenger side door and gets out. The patrol car drives off and he watches it go down the dirt road path, when it completely disappears he heads inside. He doesn't know what to expect, is his uncle gonna beat him silly for getting arrested. Is Castiel gonna abandon him for being such a trouble maker. He pulls open the screen door and heads in, "Cas?" he goes to the living room, "Bobby?" Maybe they're asleep, it was pretty late but no such luck- Castiel's on the couch, alone- meaning he's going to have to talk about it. 

Castiel looks up at him with a look on his face, he doesn't know what it is. Sadness? Disappointment? Rage? All the above?

"You hate me now don't you-" Dean sits down on the couch next to his step dad.

"Of course not." Castiel surprises him by scooting closer, wrapping an arm around him. "Benny told us everything that happened. We know he tried to-"

"Yea don't say it." Dean huffs a nervous laugh, "I'll talk about anything, but that-" he shakes his head. "Another name to add on my list of dudes I hate-" now this time he laughs for real.

"Am I on that list?" Castiel asks, pulling him much closer. 

Dean looks up at him, "Sometimes, when you piss me off-" he smiles and Castiel kisses him softly. When they part he says, "I could never hate you Cas."

"That-makes me very happy-" Castiel cups the teens face between his hands and gives him a real kiss- it's deep, long and lingering kiss that lasts for a few moments, and it expresses all the love he has for him. "I love you." he whispers, rubbing his thumb over Dean's bottom lip. 

Dean sighs, finally Castiel kissed him like he loved him. "Love you too-" he wants to move in closer but he hears a bedroom door open down the hall so he plays it cool. 

Bobby soon appears from the darkness of the hallway, "You know I love you but damn do you bring alotta drama." he shakes his head.

"I love you too Bobby. But I'm sorry, for everything." Bobby nods and goes back to his room for bed, he really only came out to see that his boy had gotten home and Castiel is about to move in for another kiss now that they're alone again but Dean stops him. "I want to Cas-" he looks at his lips for a few seconds, then back up to his eyes.

"But I gotta shower, it's been a long day." Castiel nods and Dean gets up, "Can I sleep with you tonight?" he nods again, smiling. 


	44. Doctor Novak

The green eyed teen awakens in the morning with a sore throat and it's no big deal, at least not until he notices that his appetite is gone and he feels weaker than he had been. He keeps it to himself because he's brought way too much drama to the household in the last few- well he always has drama. Bobby takes notice that his diet has mostly been fluids and soup- not much else.

"You sick boy?" Bobby asks him that morning, "Not starving yourself again are you?"

Dean shakes his head, struggling to swallow down the ice cold orange juice in front of him. "No-" he swallows again, "My throat hurts-" Bobby smacks him on the head. "Shit! The hell was that for?"

"If you're sick, you tell me or you tell him-" he points his fork at Castiel, who just now walked into the kitchen for breakfast. "Tell him-" 

"Tell me what-" Castiel pours himself a mug full of coffee. He serves himself some eggs and a few waffles before sitting down. "What did you do now?"

"Nothin'-" he squeaks, "My throat hurts-" 

Castiel frowns because now that he gets a good look at him he looks ill, he gets up to go feel the teens forehead. It was warm, really warm. Then he starts feeling around his neck, and jawline. "Hmm, you have a fever and swollen lymph nodes-"

"Tell me in English- Dean gulps down more orange juice, painfully. 

"They become swollen when you have a viral or bacterial infection, I'll take you to the doctor after breakfast." Dean nods, but since he can't eat right now he decides to go get a shower in and get dressed for the doctor. As promised, his step father does take him to get looked at- the wait wasn't long at all, maybe half an hour and now they're sitting in the doctors office. Castiel on the chair, and Dean on the little bed they always have in the office. The view makes him smile because no matter how old Dean gets- he's still his boy. 

Dean looks around the room and his eyes fixate on a poster of the female and male anatomy on the wall. What's funny is that he's actually reading what's on the poster and learning the things he should of learned in school but didn't because he didn't care to learn anything. Castiel often wondered what Dean's education level was.

There's a soft knock on the door before the doctor lets himself in, "Hey Dean, what's the problem today?" he sits down on the little stool that he pulled out from underneath the counter. He opens his file next, ready to scribble down anything he's told. 

"My throat hurts." Dean simply says, "For two days."

The doctor nods, "Runny nose? Coughing?" Dean shakes his head. He gets up and takes his temperature and he did have a fever. Afterwards he does the same thing Castiel did to his neck, he feels around his painful jawline. "My guess is strep throat-" he pulls out his pen light from his coat pocket, "Open for me-" he looks inside Dean's mouth, "Hm, Dean- you have a bacterial infection in your throat. " he puts the light back in his pocket and pulls out a pad to write a prescription.

"Bacterial infection?" Dean squints, "How'd I get that?" 

"Many things can cause it, cold or flu-tonsillitis-oral thrush-" The doctor hands him the prescription and goes back to looking at his chart. All Dean can think about is how maybe Brady gave him that infection. He knows it's just his anxiety blowing this out of proportion but, _still-_ he can't help but think that and he vows to himself to be more careful in the future- don't do things like that with anyone but Castiel.

The doctor speaks up again after being silent for a minute, "Dean, do you experience dizzy spells? Shortness of breath?" Dean looks at him, nodding. "Your vitamin B12 levels are on the lower side of normal, you're at 316- are you receiving injections?" Dean shakes his head, "Alright, I'm gonna prescribe Cyanocobalamin injections- it's one injection a week, then we'll check your levels in three months. Okay?" Dean nods, "Your Iron levels are on the lower side as well, you're at 41- your hemoglobin is normal though, you're at 14- I'll prescribe some Iron tablets anyway." Dean wants to say he can't swallow pills but that's a battle for him to fight later- he just wants to go home and think about how stupid he's been. 

The doctor writes him two prescriptions before they leave his office- one for a liquid antibiotic as requested by Castiel and another for the injections and Iron supplements. Right after the doctor they head to the pharmacy to drop off his prescriptions and then they go to the diner for lunch. 

The little bell on the door jingles and Robin quickly sees them walk in, "Dean!" she smiles, waving him over to a booth. They had since worked things out, Dean had no choice but to tell her what happened- with Gordon, which she didn't know about- and what happened with Brady. She had smacked him in the arm for being so stupid and doing drugs but she forgave him and now it was like nothing had ever happened between them. 

Dean and Castiel sit down, "I want-" he's about to order a sub sandwich but remembers that his throat hurts, "-just a milkshake." After taking Castiel's order she leaves them alone. "I love you." he says softly and Dean begins to play footsie with him under the table.

Castiel looks at him in shock, it was unexpected. "I love you too Dean." but he smiles though, "I forgot how needy you can be when you're sick."

Dean blushes, his milk shake comes and he quickly starts sucking on the straw. It made his throat feel better. "So the injections-" he speaks up, watching his step dad eating his food. "You're gonna do them?"

"Yes Dean I know how to do injections-" his tone is sarcastic and he shakes his head in disbelief that he still doesn't know what exactly his job entails, "I even give epidurals, needles and I are very well acquainted." 

"Right, forgot you're a sick fuck who gets off on pain-" he sighs and blue eyes glare at him, "So you're not gonna fuck it up and hurt me?" 

"Dean, I'm very good at my job. Your little weekly injection is nothing compared to what I do at work." 

Instantly Dean's cock starts fattening up in his jeans, "That's hot-" Castiel rolls his eyes and tells him to finish his milkshake so they can go. Back at the house, Dean's forced to get on his laptop by his step dad- he really wears that role well- and he spends the rest of the day catching up on school work without Robin's help. "Fuck this shit-" Dean sets the computer off to the side and lays back so he can take a short nap. The short nap he thought he was going to take ends up being hours long and he had missed dinner completely. Around nine in the evening Castiel knocks on his door and lets himself inside the dark room.

"Dean-" he switches on the light, the teen squints at him- "Time for your shot." Dean sits up in bed, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Castiel sits on the edge of the bed, supplies in hand and he scatters them on the bedspread. There's the needle- it's like two inches long and it scares him. There's the alcohol pad, and a band aid. He watches him fill the syringe and he would be lying if he said the guy wasn't hot while in his element. "Ready?" he nods and Castiel pushes up the sleeve of his shirt- rubbing the area with the alcohol pad, then the needle goes in. 

Surprisingly it didn't hurt like he thought it would, "Barely even felt that-" Dean mumbles. 

"I know what I'm doing." he places the band aid on the spot where the needle went in. "All done, you can begin your antibiotic tomorrow-"

"No I better take it now." He tells him, and Castiel comes back with the little measuring cup that contains the pink liquid- it makes him feel like he's five years old but he knocks it back anyway- it sure beat having to take pills. "Ugh, shit's nasty." he hands the older man the cup. 

"Good boy." Castiel rubs his fingers through Dean's hair- it makes him whimper. "I know you miss me-" Dean nods. "I miss you too-I know you want me to kiss you but you're-"

"Contagious, yea." Dean pouts, "But I miss your tongue in my mouth-" 

Arousal washes over Castiel instantly, "Don't say things like that-" he looks over at the open door. Dean's face is saying _oops-_ "Are you going to behave?" he nods. "Good, get some sleep."

Dean lays back again, "Night Cas."

The following day, Dean takes his medicine once again for his throat infection and has breakfast. _Finally._ He was able to eat and the kitchen is filled with his happy noises over the food Bobby made. "Mm-" he swallows, "Bobby, that was awesome."

Dean and Castiel had come to an understanding- he would be going over to Robin's every other day so she could help him with his school work. The catch is- Robin's mother has to come pick him up, he won't be allowed to take any of their cars and certainly go nowhere on his own. It's just the beginning of his punishment for breaking their trust- Castiel is thinking of how else to punish him, he's not very good at being strict but if he wants him to shape up then he's going to have to try. 

A car honks outside, "Gotta go-" Dean wipes his mouth and gets up, taking his laptop with him. "I'll be back before five."

Castiel follows him to the door, "And if you're not-"

Dean repeats what Castiel had told him several times, "-you'll come looking for me and drag me back home. Got it." he winks. "Later Bobby!" he calls out and runs towards the car in order to avoid getting too wet- it had been raining non stop all night long. The weather the last two weeks had felt more like Autumn than it had Summer. Dean waves goodbye as the car drives away, Robin's mother was being careful to avoid the mud puddles on the property.

"He's got therapy tomorrow." Castiel says to Bobby when he sits back down at the kitchen table.

"Have any idea what he talks about in there?"

Castiel shrugs, "Probably his dad-" once he's done eating his breakfast he stands- "Better go or I'll be late."

"Right, that job interview at the hospital." Bobby sips his coffee, "Dean know yet?" Castiel shakes his head in response before he heads out the door and runs towards his car so he won't get too wet himself. Dean can be pretty self centered at times, he hadn't even noticed that his step dad was actually dressed up nicely for the first time in a while. He wore a white button down shirt, blue tie and black slacks. And of course, dress shoes. 

Castiel makes it to the hospital where he's taken Dean before, and he himself got that x-ray done for his possible broken nose- he had gotten to talking to someone there about needing a new job. He didn't think anything would come of it but one of the nurses he spoke to about his work back home-she was interested in his instantly and pulled some strings. Due to there being so many sick people and the hospital being overcrowded with more patients than there were doctors, she jumped on the chance to have him work there. 

He's waiting in an office for his interview when he checks his watch, it was three in the afternoon- he dials Dean. "You still at Robin's?" he speaks softly, watching all the nurses and doctors outside in the hallway. 

Dean sighs, "Yes-here." he hands the phone to Robin- she says hello and it gives him the proof that he's where he says he is- where he's supposed to be. "Happy?"

Castiel smiles, "Very. Gotta go-" he hangs up because his interview is about to start. By the end of the interview, he feels overly confident that he will be hired at this hospital- and he was right. "Thank you, I look forward to joining your team." he says on his way out of the office. He now has a new job and he's got to figure out a way to let Dean know- he's been too used to having him home the past month or so. Castiel picks up a pizza on his way home because it's Dean's favorite- he walks inside at five thirty fully expecting him to already be there. "Dean if you're not here, I'm going to kick your ass-" he goes to the living room, pizza in hand.

Dean's laying on the couch watching television, "Yea yea I'm here-" he rolls his eyes. Castiel slaps his feet playfully so he can make some room for him, "Aw you brought me pizza-" he opens the box and takes one of the bigger slices. 

"Did you take your medicine?" he asks, taking a slice himself. Dean still doesn't ask why he's so dressed up- he just nods. "I like when you do what I say-" 

"Maybe if you fucked me a little more often I'd do what you say-" he says that softly as he eats because anyone could be listening. _Like Bobby._ Castiel finishes eating first and he leans back on the couch, his hand eventually finds it's way to the nape of Dean's neck and pulls lightly on the hair there. "Cas-" Dean whines. "Look what you did-" he leans back and now they both see the bulge in his jeans.

"Sorry baby." he speaks softly too in case Bobby happened to walk by, "Dean, we need to talk." he pulls his hand back and stops fooling around. "I got a new job."

"When do you start?" 

"Next week-" he swallows, Dean blinks, emotionless. He braces himself for the terror that he expects to come but it doesn't- "I promise I won't be working nearly as much as I was before."

"Well Cas, guess I'm happy for you." Dean leans over and hugs his step dad. Bobby chooses that moment to walk by and stares at their embrace, he looks up and sees him watching. "Cas got a new job-"

Bobby smiles, "Congrats- we should get him a cake and celebrate." 

"We should, Doctor." he punches Castiel on the arm lightly and he goes red instantly. Usually no one celebrates his accomplishments. The rest of the day goes smoothly, in the evening Castiel walks into Dean's room with his medicine, "Hey-oh-" he sees the little cup with the pink liquid. "Let's get this over with." he takes the cup and knocks it back as if it were a tequila shot. "Ugh-"

Castiel sits on the edge of the bed and holds out his hand, there's a little pill in the center of his palm. "This one too-" Dean looks at him, "It's your Iron supplement." he nods and he puts it on his tongue with a sip of water. "There you go, that wasn't so bad was it?" 

Dean watches the older man- "You're good at what you do." Castiel laughs, "I'm serious, dunno how I ever doubted you."

"There's a reason why doctors don't treat their family members-" right then and there Dean leans forward and plants a kiss on his lips, it's so soft and sweet that he feels like he's going to melt right there on his bed. "Dean-" he sighs, his hand runs up and down the teens leg. "I love you so much-" Dean kisses him again, this time his tongue comes out to play inside of the older mans mouth and he enjoys every second. After a while he pulls away, "That's enough, don't want to get sick-"

"Crap, I forgot." Dean smiles, laying back in bed.

"You have therapy in the afternoon." As soon as he says it, the smile falls from his face. "Hey, it's okay- tomorrow I'll pick you up from Robin's place, alright?" Dean nods, "I love you, Dean-" he kisses his forehead, "Goodnight."

"Night Cas." 

Castiel had spent the entire morning doing chores around the house, he did the dishes and now he was on laundry- he opens the door to Dean's room and finds it a complete disaster. "Damn it Dean-" he curses under his breath to no one and moves to open one of the drawers on the dresser to stuff the pile of neatly folded shirts he's got on hand- almost instantly he notices it and picks it up. It's a small bag containing white powder- almost empty- now he's angry because this means he was being lied to.

Dean's therapy appointment draws near and he drives to Robin's house to pick him up, the evidence sitting heavy in his pocket. Like clockwork Dean runs up to the car after he'd been there waiting not even two minutes. "Hey-" he opens the door and gets in. "What-" he says, taking one look at him. 

Castiel reaches in his pocket and pulls out the small bag, holding it up in front of his face. "You said you were done."

"I can explain-"

"Explain it in therapy, I called and we're _both_ going to talk to the therapist today." that's all he says before speeding away, off to _their_ appointment. Dean doesn't like it- he doesn't want him in the room. Doesn't want him to hear the kinds of things he has to talk about during his sessions but it's too late, Castiel's already invited himself into them and there's no way out of it. 

They're waiting in the lobby and eventually they're called into the office. "Hello Dean-" She greets him, "Castiel- hello, we spoke on the phone earlier." He nods and they both follow her to her office. Her office was cliche- the walls were painted a taupe color, there were plants everywhere and a lamp on the corner table with an aromatherapy candle. And of course, the cliche large comfortable couch for her patients to sit on. "Have a seat-" she gestures to the couch. "So Castiel, what made you want to join the session today? Anything in particular you want to discuss?"

Castiel looks over to Dean for a moment, "Yes- I don't know what Dean tells you but recently, he's had a bit of an issue with drugs. I thought we had put this behind us but apperantly not-" he says, his tone is very fatherly and strict- Dean hates it more than he would a trip to _hell._

She nods and looks at Dean, "I'm so sorry to hear about this, when we first started our sessions you had never done drugs-" she pauses, "I assume this has something to do with what he spoke about in our last session?" Dean nods and Castiel stays in the dark. "Would it be okay if I tell your step father what we discussed?" he nods again, his eyes already welling up with tears. "Mr. Novak-" he tone remains soft, "In our last session Dean spoke to me about his father, did you know about the abuse?" 

Castiel's own eyes begin to water but he doesn't cry, he's very good at keeping it in. "Yes, I knew Dean's father would often hit him-"

She shakes her head, "That's not the abuse I'm referring to." and it clicks in his head, Dean did mention something about John touching him in places he shouldn't have- it had been years. "Dean's father would often-"

"I get it, please don't say it." Castiel looks over at Dean who had already began to cry, he scoots over on the couch and wraps an arm around him. "He told me a few years ago, but we never spoke about it again- I didn't want to pry." She nods, her facial expression one of compassion. "But I tried to be there for him as best I could, given the circumstances." 

She smiles, "Dean tells me you're a doctor." he nods. "Anesthesiologist?" he nods again, "What's that like?"

"It's a lot like running around with my had cut off." he sighs, "I rarely get any down time."

That makes her laugh and she continues the session, "Dean also tells me, that because of his childhood- he feels as if he's not normal, like his childhood experiences have affected the kinds of decisions he makes today." Castiel's heart threatens to break in his chest, he had no clue Dean had these kinds of thoughts running around in his head. "He's told me that- because of what his father has done to him at such a young age that maybe that could be the reason why he's interested in older men."

Castiel gulps, "Older men?" 

"Yes, he's expressed an interest in older men. Dean doesn't know if it's because he genuinely likes older men, if that's his preference or-" she pauses, "-if he's just looking for a father." Dean gets up to grab a tissue from her desk, he was still crying. "Dean is desperate for a father figure-"

Castiel looks over at the red faced teen sitting beside him, "Is that true?" his voice cracks. Dean nods, unable to make eye contact just yet. "Dean, you know I love you-you're the most important thing to me." 

The therapist writes something down, "Dean mentioned-" she shakes her head.

"What did he tell you?" Castiel gets defensive and she doesn't answer. "For two hundred an hour, I think I have a right to know what he talks about in here-"

She gives him a shy smile, "He's told me about his involvement with-" she breathes, "-you."

Castiel grows a little pale, "Me?" and his heart feels like it has stopped beating- if that's possible. He starts picturing the cops that could outside in the parking lot ready to arrest him for being a pervert. 

"Yes, you." She looks through the notebook she has on her lap, "He's told me that you work long hours- barely have time for him. Mr. Novak, he's got a hole in his heart that's so big-he cries himself to sleep almost every night." 

Castiel looks over at Dean, "Is that true?" his voice cracks again. Dean nods, staying silent and he plays with the wadded up ball of tissue in his hands. He faces the therapist, "I promise, I'll spend more one on one time with him-" and it makes Dean snort.

"Yea-" he nods his head in misery, "He just a new job, I'm never gonna see him again-" his weak voice dies off. "It's gonna be just like before Cas-" now he looks at Castiel, turning his body in the couch just a little so he can look him in the eyes. "You're gonna be working all the time and I'm just- gonna be home by myself again."

The therapist cuts in, "Dean's told me that was part of the reason he wouldn't eat, no one was home to make him meals-" that makes him feel like shit. 

Castiel runs a hand over his scruffy face, he's got to shave before work next week. He's only kept the scruff because Dean liked it, he liked the way it _tickled._ "I'm sorry that I have a demanding job-" he defends himself angrily, "-someone has to pay the bills Dean, and I have been taking care of everything myself for years. Your father certainly didn't-" he crossed the line and he knew it by the look on his loves face. "I'm sorry-" he looks down at the carpeted floor.

"It's okay, it's good to get our feelings out in the open. Dean? What do you want to say to him?" her eyes dart to his step father for a second.

"I want-" he wipes his eyes, "I wish he'd spend more time with me-" he shrugs, "-I dunno-do stuff with me?" 

"I spend plenty of time with you-" he defends himself again.

"Do you Cas?" he snaps back, "Before we went to the beach, can you name one with we've done together as father and son?" he's thinking of something, "You can't name one- I can't either." and the tears come again.

"What do you want Dean, go on- you told me on our last session." She encourages. 

Dean hesitates for a few seconds then blurts it out, "I want a dad!" and he's full on crying again,covering his face with his hands. Castiel pulls him close and hugs him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "I want a dad-" he repeats softly. "I feel so alone-I'm going through so much-I-I need you!" 

Castiel nods, "Okay-" he kisses the top of his head in order to calm him down, "Okay-I promise I'll be around more-We'll do more things together."

Dean looks up at him, "I don't believe you." the whole time the therapist is just watching how they interact and doesn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. 

"I'll show you." he kisses his forehead again, "I love you." and the therapist hears that.

"Do you love him, Mr. Novak?" She asks, he nods. "Do you love as if he were your own?"

He takes another look at the teenager beside him, "Yes." and he didn't lie.

She smiles, "Good, he needs all the love he can get. I understand that it's just you and his uncle Bobby?" they both nod. "Stick together, I mean really stick together- tell each other everything, no secrets- and you'll feel closer than ever. Right Dean?" he nods.

Castiel clears his throat, "What about the drugs-" he just had to bring it up and now Dean gets pissy again but remains well behaved. She looks at Dean.

"I was telling the truth. He found a bag of coke in my room and thinks I'm still doin' it-" 

"Are you?" she asks, "Remember, no secrets."

Dean hesitates, "Fine- I didn't exactly stop when I said I did." he looks down in shame, "But I haven't done it-"

"Since?" Castiel asks impatiently. 

"Yesterday." 

Castiel grows furious, "Great! I thought I told you not to lie to me-"

"Mr. Novak, I'm sure Dean feels bad enough-Do you plan on doing it again?" Dean shakes his head, "Good, that's a start." After a few seconds she says, "I'm sorry but that's all the time we have for today but Dean, I'll see you in two weeks okay?" He nods and the three of them stand up, "We have a group that meets up weekly if you're interested-" she looks at both of them.

"Yes, he'll go." Castiel makes the decision for Dean, "I'll take him personally."

They say goodbye to the therapist and make their way to their car in the parking lot. Castiel is silent on the drive home, he's still angry about the coke he found. Dean explodes suddenly when he no longer can stand the silence, "See Cas- this is the shit I'm talking about!"

"Excuse me?" Castiel looks at him briefly before focusing back on the road in front of them.

"You always shut me out, every time I piss you off- you don't really yell at me, you don't put me in my place- not really. You just stay quiet and that's almost worse-" Dean looks out the window at the trees and fields passing by in a quick blur. "You tell me I should come to you if I need anything, but really- you don't want to hear it."

"That's not true-" Castiel rolls his eyes as they pull up to the house. 

"You see-" Dean shakes his head, "Unless it's a life of death situation, you don't really care about it- you treat everything so lightly, like it means nothing." Castiel stays silent, pensive. "You let everything roll off your back, Cas sometimes-" Castiel looks at him, "I feel like your job, your patients- are more important than _me."_

"That's not true-I work because I have to support you and myself." he states.

"Yea-" Dean snorts, "But other people come home for dinner, they spend time with their families. You stay at the hospital until- one time you came home at three in the morning for fucks sake-" Castiel sighs, "Cas! Don't you care about what I'm saying? You just promised me you were going to be there for me-" 

After a few moments he says, "You're right and I'm sorry. I'm aware I distance myself emotionally from you."

"And why do you do that?" Dean's voice cracks with emotion.

"Because I love you so much and when things get hard- I need to do that because I'll break if anything happens to you. Dean, you don't know how worried you had me when you wouldn't eat, when you were sick-" he wipes his eyes before any tears fall, "Loving you so much scares the hell out of me- when things go wrong, it's just easier to keep my distance-" after a beat he adds, "You know why I never hit you? Why I never discipline you even though you deserve it sometimes?" Dean shakes his head, "Because I'm not strong enough to hurt you-I hate when you're mad at me. The way you look at me when I lay down the rules- it kills me."

"Cas-"

"I go so easy on you because-" Dean looks at him expectantly, "Those four years we weren't-" Dean nods, "It killed me Dean, I want to be more of a father figure to you but- I want more than that." he wipes another tear before it has the chance to roll down his cheek. "But I'll try to give you what you need-"

"Cas-" his voice softens, "I didn't know you felt that way. Part of me just thought you were just a cold hearted asshole-" and that makes Castiel laugh enough that he stops crying almost instantly. "So, you got work to do- emotionally and stuff. I'm perfect-"

"Is that right?" Castiel smiles, he reaches up to rub his thumb over Dean's chin. "I won't argue with you on that, you are perfect." 

"Caaas-" Dean whines, biting his lip. "You always make me turn into mush- stop that." he pulls away playfully and turns his head to look at the front porch, "Oh my god!" he gets startled by the presence of his uncle standing on the porch with his hands on his hips- he gets out of the car and says, "Shit- you scared me!"

Castiel gets out of the car too and hopes he didn't see much, although they weren't doing anything but talking. Bobby just stares at Castiel with a funny look on his face before saying, "Dinner's ready." and goes inside to set the table.

"Damn it." Castiel sighs, "Do you think-" and Dean elbows him in the ribs lightly- a cue for him to shut up. During dinner Bobby laughs and chats with Dean at the table like he didn't see anything, so maybe he really didn't. 

When he's done eating he asks Castiel, "Join me out front for a beer?" and he grabs two beers from the fridge. Castiel nods, giving Dean a look of _oh shit.._ They sit outside on the porch, the sun is going down and it's beautiful. Castiel would rather be enjoying the sunset with _Dea_ \- "Cas?" Bobby wakes him up from his day dream. 

"Yeah?" Castiel nervously takes a sip of his beer, looking off in the distance. 

"I know you love em'-" Bobby says. "But I think the way you touch him, is weird. Even if he was your real son- s'not normal for you to be so-" he pauses. "Hands on-"

Castiel takes another lager sip of beer, mostly to fill the awkwardness. The tension is thick in the air and it's suffocating. "I don't know what you mean." he ends up saying stupidly. "Dean and I are just close-I'm all he's had for years."

Bobby nods, taking a sip of his beer. "Now he's got me." 

Now he stares at Dean's uncle, "Meaning?"

He sighs, "Maybe you outta think about rentin' that place down the road-" 

"I'll call in the morning, if it's available- we'll rent it." he's beyond humiliated right now, he's being kicked out of his home but it would be good to have a his own place with Dean again. They won't have to sneak around anymore behind closed doors.

"I mean-" Bobby scratches his head, "You. Just you- you should rent that place."

Castiel blinks at him, "You want me to leave Dean here?" Bobby nods. "I-I can't do that-" he panics, "He's my-"

"He's your wut?" Bobby glares, "He's not your son-look, you'll be just down the road. You won't be even a mile away from the boy- think it's for the best." 

Castiel nods, "I'm sorry things didn't work out here-but if you don't want me here, I understand." and he goes inside. How on earth will he tell Dean what's about to happen, the next few days-weeks, will have Castiel back at work and moving out of this house. For the first time in many years they won't be living together-he's going to do his best not to worry as much because Dean's almost eighteen. In about five months, no one will be able to keep them apart. 

The next morning Castiel does call to get information on the house and it turned out he could afford it, even if he wasn't going back to work yet- his savings could more than pay for the place for a long while. The house was run down but he'd be allowed to make repairs or paint the place if he wanted. The five bedrooms would be going to waste though, he'd just occupy one because Dean wasn't going with him- that breaks his heart. Two major changes are coming and he doesn't want to tell Dean, but he's got to. When Dean goes to Robin's house for the day, he meets the owner at the house for a small tour.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, the house was just a short walk down the road from Bobby's place.

Just as he expected- the paint was chipping on the outside, the grass hadn't been cut in weeks and it didn't take a genius to come to that conclusion- the glass went up passed his knees- and there were five bedrooms just like he had been told. The house had a creepy vibe to it, maybe it was haunted or maybe he was just dreading the thought of living alone. He hadn't lived alone since right after med school. After signing the lease and grabbing the keys to his new but _old_ house he walks back up the road to Bobby's to start packing. He still hasn't told Dean. He's just lucky that everything happened so quick, mostly because the owner of his _new_ home just wanted to unload the place- no one has shown a bit of interest in it in years- he wasn't into it either but what choice did he have- Bobby didn't want him in the house anymore, he was suspicious of him again. 

Robin and her mother drop Dean off that night, he had stayed at their place for dinner. "Hey you." Castiel greets him from the couch when he walks in. 

Dean smiles and falls onto the couch, kicking off his boots. "What did you do today?" he asks suddenly and it catches him off guard. 

"Listen- Dean, we need to talk. Bobby-" he looks into those pale green eyes, "You know that house we pass every time we drive up?" Dean nods, "I rented it today." and it breaks his heart when Dean smiles in joy and it shatters because he's got to tell him he's going to live there alone. "-you're going to stay here with your uncle-"

"What!" Dean shouts. "Why!" he stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at him. 

"Because Bobby-" he sighs, "Doesn't like the way I behave around you, he doesn't want me around you all the time-" 

Dean storms off to his room and almost instantly things are being kicked around and thrown. He lets him have at it for a minute before going after him, "Dean-" he opens the door, "I don't want to leave you but your uncle-"

"I don't care about what Bobby wants!" Dean comes up to him and starts banging on his chest- he grips him by the wrists and holds him still. "-I knew you'd leave me, just like dad." 

Castiel pulls him close, "I'm not leaving you, I'm just trying not to go to prison-" he helps Dean toward the bed and has him sit down. "Please don't make this harder-" 

"So you're going back to work, and you're moving out- when the hell am I gonna see you?" his bottom lip trembles in fear. "Cas-" his voice cracks. "I need you-it's not the time for you to abandon me!" 

"Dean." Castiel gets down on his knee, "Look at me- I'm not abandoning you. I know you need me, I wish there was another way but Bobby can have me arrested- there's no fooling him this time." Dean nods, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. "If there was another way, I would find it. You have to believe me-"

"I do-" Dean calms down, though tears still continue rolling down his cheeks. "Fuck-"

"I know-" He pulls him into a tight hug, "I know baby." after a few long seconds, he stands up- cracking his back- "I'm getting older and older and you're-" he pauses, smiling sadly down at _his_ boy. "-so young." 

"I'm almost-" Castiel nods, they stay silent for a moment- "Guess it's time for my medicine huh-" he nods again and goes to get it. When he comes back, he takes what he's given and then lays back in bed. "I don't want you to go- I don't even remember what it's like to live without you."

"I'll just be down the road-" he leans over and presses a kiss to his forehead, "You can come over any time-" Dean nods, "Go to sleep now because tomorrow you're helping me pack-" he nods again, closing his eyes and wishing this was just a bad dream. When he opens them again- it's morning and he still wishes it was just a dream though when he goes to the kitchen and doesn't see Castiel, only Bobby- he frowns at the reality. "Where the hell is Cas?"

Bobby gets up and puts his dirty dishes in the sink that earlier had pancakes on them, "He's next door-" and he's off to go see Castiel- still in his slippers. "Dean!" he calls after him but he's already running. He gets there in less than three minutes and the front door to the large white house is wide open- including the screen door. 

"Cas!" Dean yells, "Ca-" he sees him sweeping in the living room of the place, "- I was supposed to help you pack." 

Castiel smiles, "Pack what exactly?" he looks over to the three boxes that lay on the floor by the door. "I don't have much here, remember?" he looks around the vast emptiness of the home, "I'm gonna need to buy some furniture, and a bed- just about everything." he resumes sweeping.

Dean swallows, "Cas-" his voice cracks yet again. "Can't we just confess to Bobby- about _us?"_ Castiel stops, and looks at him. "Please-"

He resumes his task, "Absolutely not." Dean whines loudly, "I mean it. Don't say anything-" 

"But Cas!"

Castiel puts the broom against the wall and comes closer to him and threatens, "Keep your mouth shut." Dean takes one step back in fear, he always forgets how scary Castiel can be when he wants to be. "Do you understand me?" Dean nods. "Good, now go."

"Cas-"

"I said go!" Castiel snaps, "Please- I have work in a few days, don't stress me out any more than I already am. Please go-" and Dean does, he walks down the road back to Bobby's. By the time he makes it through the door he's already crying and his uncle pulls him in for a bear hug. _Sorry_ is all his uncle says.

The rest of the week they don't speak to each other, he assumes it's because Castiel is busy getting the house ready, plus he's got his first day at a new hospital on Monday morning. Monday comes and goes- still no message or call from Castiel. He'll be damned if he makes the first move. When Wednesday rolls around, still nothing and his anxiety has him coming up with theories that maybe he found someone at the hospital but that's stupid, _right?_

By Friday Dean can't take it anymore and he sneaks out of the house after dark, Bobby thinks he'd gone to bed early but in reality he's walking to go confront a certain blue eyed man. As he nears the house he can see that the lights are on meaning he's still awake. _Good._ He's about to knock on the door and decides against it, why should he knock- he opens the door and walks in to find Castiel sitting on his brand new couch with someone. _A guy._ "Hey." he says, crossing his arms at his chest and they both look up at him. 

"Dean-" Castiel sets his beer on the his new coffee table, "What are you doing here?"

"Whose he?" he asks.

"We work together-" Dean glares, "-at the hospital." the young man uncrosses his legs and looks uncomfortable to be caught in the middle while Castiel just looks pissed. "Gabriel-" he turns to his friend, "This is Dean, my step son." the man nods, wiggling his fingers slightly in a failed attempt at a wave. "Why don't you go home, I'll call you."

Dean nods, still upset. "When?" and that makes Gabriel laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Aren't you a little needy for your age?" 

Dean rushes out because he doesn't want to cry in front of them- that stupid guy will make fun of him. He's just outside the front door when Castiel catches up to him-grabbing onto his arm to keep him in place. "What are you-" then suddenly Dean wraps his arms around him tightly and starts crying. "Dean, please calm down-I thought we needed some distance. Bobby nearly caught us-I'm just trying not to go to prison-" he whispers that last part.

"Stop running away from me!" Dean hisses, peeling himself away from his step dad. "Just stop! Please!"

"Shh-Dean-" he whispers, "Please-"

"Stop hurting me Cas!" Dean screams and that has Gabriel coming outside to ask if everything is alright. 

"Yeah." he says, "Go home Dean." and he goes back inside.

Dean doesn't sleep that night- he lays in bed crying his eyes out, all he wants is _Cas._ He just wants to be in his arms-he wants to be comforted. Every few minutes he checks his phone, nothing- and it makes him that much more miserable. By morning he manages to fall asleep, mostly because he wore himself out and he spends the whole day sleeping. Bobby comes to check on him a few times, mostly to see with his own two eyes that he's still alive in his room. 

_He won't eat anything.._ he tells Castiel on the phone, at least someone's talking to him. Dean called once and it wasn't answered- Castiel had been busy at work, nothing new there but he couldn't help but take it to heart. 

In the evening, he still hasn't left his bed- only got up once to use the bathroom then straight to bed. Bobby opens the door, he's got a bowl of soup with him- "You gotta eat boy." he says, now feeling guilty that he made Castiel leave-but it's too late, he already signed a lease. "Dean, it's unhealthy you can't seem to live without that- that man." he refers to Castiel. "He ain't even your real father-"

Dean shrugs, sitting up because he does want the soup- "I love him." he blows on it before using the large spoon to take small sips. 

Bobby sits on the edge of his bed, "Even if he ain't your father?" Dean nods. "You wanna explain it to me?"

Dean sets the bowl on the nightstand, "Bobby, I love him. There's nothing to explain-"

"By love him-"

"For fuck sake Bobby-" Dean groans, "I'm friggin' in love with him- what don't you get?" Bobby stays silent though it looks like he wants to respond but doesn't know how so he just gets up and leaves him alone. Not two minutes later his door opens again, he came back.

"Since when?" he asks, Dean relaxes because his uncle isn't angry. 

Dean gulps, because a beating might come out of his honesty. "I loved him since forever Bobby-" his uncle asks the same question again. "I was thirteen when it started-" Bobby sits down like he might have a heart attack at any moment. "But we stopped before anything got serious, we only got together this year-"

Bobby runs his fingers through his beard, that always soothed him. "Don't gotta clue what to say-" 

"Please don't tell anyone-" Dean begs, "If he goes to prison-I'll die." Bobby nods, he's thinking. "If you wanna punch him go ahead but don't send him to prison-" all he can do is look into those bright green eyes and he melts with compassion. "Bobby please-"


	45. Boy Next Door

Castiel has been working his new job at the hospital for almost two weeks and it has Dean feeling lonely and neglected. Since he was so busy, Bobby had driven him to his next therapy session. At least he went in by himself, that was a win in his book. The last session had been way too revealing for his comfort, the things that were said in that hour long session were things he planned to take to the grave. Although it wasn't so, he couldn't help but think that was the reason Castiel seemed so distant. His anxiety has him thinking such awful things at times, when nothing makes sense, his brain finds the worse possible scenario and calls it fact. 

Lucky this session had gone smoothly, he spoke about the recent turn of events that had transpired since the last time he had been sitting on this couch. He told her about Castiel moving out of the house he was sharing with his uncle Bobby. He mentioned his step fathers long work hours at the hospital and how it was making him feel so lonely again- how his eating problems were coming back, though he was fighting them this time and he was eating every day. He has to eat because he doesn't want to go down that dark road ever again. Feeling horrible like that- it was _hell._

The therapist had asked if Castiel had spent any time with him and he was honest, his response was a hard _no._ Unless his weekly injection counts as quality time spent together which they both decided that it wasn't. She mentioned that Castiel would be welcomed to any session, if Dean chose to allow it. He was very open with her, but anything having to do with his _true_ relationship with his step father- he would never disclose that information. At least not until he was of age, just a few more months. As far as she knew, Castiel was just guy who took care of him- a guy who had taken him in as his own.

On the drive back to the house, Dean's looking out the window of Bobby's truck when he speaks up. "We never did get that cake for em', you wanna surprise him with one?" Dean gives him a weak nod and a smile. Bobby and Dean never really discussed what happened, Dean confessed that he was in love with his step father and his uncle blew right passed it. He couldn't tell if he was angry, or disgusted, or cool with it. All he knew for sure was that he wasn't angry, and he knows he isn't because there isn't one bruise on his body. When he was just eight years old he had given Rufus-Bobby's dog- a piece of chocolate that had made him sick. That earned him a hard spanking. That's how he knew Bobby wasn't angry- if only he could read his thoughts. For now he's too humiliated to ask what he thinks about him and Castiel.

While they're in town they stop by the market and pick up that cake for Castiel, Bobby has the lady in the bakery write a little message on the cake with blue frosting. Blue to match his eyes- Dean chose the color and Bobby assumed it was just his favorite color. That evening around six, they sit on Castiel's porch steps and wait for him- Dean's got the cake resting on his lap.

"Bet you five bucks he's not gonna be home any time soon-" 

And the universe seems to hate him because Castiel's car drives up the dirt drive way and he parks a few feet away from them. "Hey-" he opens the car door and steps out, "This is a surprise-" 

Dean's face goes red and so does Bobby, it all feels awkward. "We brought you a cake." he says dumbly. Castiel laughs, waving them over to follow him inside. "Wow-" Dean looks around the place, everything Castiel touches turns out nice and fancy. "This looks great-" he's happy for Castiel but inside, he's just sad. He's now remodeled two houses and he doesn't even get to live in them- he feels so far away from him. 

Castiel brings out a knife to cut the cake with, "I just repainted-" he smiles at Dean, handing him a slice of cake on a small plate. "Dean, how are you doing?" he studies him. 

Dean sits down at his new kitchen table, "I'm getting my diploma in the mail soon-" Castiel's blue eyes light up like the fourth of July. _God he misses him so bad._

"I'm so proud of you-" Castiel reaches over and rubs his shoulder, he's being such a father right now, sadly not in the way he wanted. He wanted Castiel to be his father sure- but he meant he wanted him to do things with him, go camping, hell even go fishing together. That kinda thing. Not this - he feels like his parents got divorced and only sees one parent on occasion. He wants Castiel all the time- like before. "Thank you, for the cake." his eyes shift between Dean and Bobby. "Vanilla butter creme- my favorite." 

Dean smiles, "Course we got your favorite, dumb ass." and it's like old times for the next two hours. Like nothing had changed. Bobby and Castiel talk like friends again, they laugh like it too. Dean doesn't participate in their conversation that much- he just watches them. His heart feels happy and sad at the same time- wishing it could be like this every day again.

"Cas-" They stop talking and look at him, "Can we do somethin' this weekend?"

Castiel wipes frosting off his mouth with a napkin, he was on his third slice of cake. "Of course, what do you have in mind?" Dean thinks about it but he's coming up blank. "How about a movie night?" he suggests, his eyes looking towards Bobby for approval. Bobby nods. "Come over on Friday, around five?" That makes Dean's entire week, finally some time with Castiel. 

Friday can't come any sooner and neither Dean or Castiel can wait, Dean had been surprised to get a call from Castiel asking him to come over with the excuse being that his car needed an oil change. Castiel was beyond smart, too smart for his own good but _cars-_ that was Dean's area of expertise. Dean tells the lie to Bobby and he had bought it and because he believed the lie- he's now walking up Castiel's porch steps. 

"Finally." Castiel pulls him through the door and shoves his tongue in the boys mouth, they're both moaning. "Fuck- need you-" Dean nods, already pulling off his shirt. 

"Fuck me-" Dean moans, "Please fuck me-" and Castiel lifts him up and throws him over his shoulder like he weighed absolutely nothing. That in itself was a huge turn on for him, "Fuck Cas-" he gets thrown on the brand new bed- it was big and very soft. _Memory foam._

"You don't know how much I missed you baby-" he peels himself out of those familiar powder blue scrubs that Dean despised so much and gets on the bed, above him. His strong arms hold him up over the teen. Castiel takes a moment to tell Dean how he feels, "I'm sorry I haven't been around much, new job-it's been so busy." Dean nods, "But I thought about you all the time, not a day went by that I didn't want to kiss you-" he kisses Dean's neck softly, taking his time showing him love.

Dean whimpers underneath him, his hands exploring up and down Castiel's strong back. Castiel makes love to him, what started out passionately an hour earlier had turned into tender and gentle love making which had made Dean cry helplessly when it was over.

"Dean-" Castiel cups his face, pressing kisses all over- kissing the tears away. "Baby-"

"You didn't hurt me, that's not why I'm crying-" Dean wipes his cheek with his hand, "-friggin' miss you." Castiel rests against the bed and pulls Dean onto his chest, cradling him close. 

"Dean, you know I love you. Don't you?" He nods, "I'll ask for less days at the hospital, or- I'll just be on call- if they need me they'll call me, otherwise I'll be here." he nods again, this promise has been made way to many times and it's never come true. The fact that they even made it out to Bobby's at all, must have been a fluke of time. Dean often spent his time, especially late at night while in bed- thinking about the time he wasted when Castiel was still at Bobby's. He should have spent more time with him, instead of being with Robin or.. _Brady._

He's stuck in his own thoughts for a while and hears Castiel asking him something- "Has Bobby said anything about me?" he shakes his head. "I knew he was suspicious of me- but he hasn't mentioned anything? Does he still think-"

He shakes his head again, "No." he lies- he'd spilled the beans on their relationship and didn't have the heart to tell him- he would tell him though, he just had to talk to Bobby about it first. That proved to be difficult because whenever he tried to bring it up, his uncle would get flustered and leave the room. It was uncomfortable- but they were family, and his therapist swore him to no secrets. Everything should be on the table. 

"Good." Castiel kisses his temple. "He'd kill me if he knew." Dean gulps. After some more cuddling Castiel says, "You better actually change the oil in my car or else Bobby-" Dean nods and moves to get up before he's pulled back down for one final kiss- then he makes his way outside to get to work. While Castiel showers, Dean spends about an hour changing the oil in his car. His phone keeps buzzing with missed calls from his uncle- no doubt suspicious that he's taken so long. 

When Castiel steps outside, freshly showered in his robe Dean tells him he's gotta run home- Bobby's waiting. He nods and lets him leave without a kiss. Dean makes it back in two minutes time and rushes through the screen door, "I'm back Bobby-" he says breathlessly to his uncle who was in the kitchen making dinner. 

Bobby takes a look at him as he stirs the chili on the stove, "Go on and take a shower boy, food's almost ready." He obeys. When he comes back he sits down to a steaming bowl of chili and they eat and enjoy some light conversation. Dean feels more tired than he expected, changing the oil on Castiel's car really took it's toll so he excuses himself from the table when he's done eating. A good nights rest doesn't help, when he wakes up in the morning he's even more exhausted and he can't help but kick himself mentally for letting his eating habits slide again. 

At the kitchen table, he makes his best effort to eat the eggs and waffles in front of him but he can't- he's losing his breath. Bobby doesn't mention it although he did notice, he'd have to call Castiel and mention it to him later. "Dean?" he asks the teen whose struggling to stand up from the table- he's got the strangest look on his face. His breathing is harsh like he'd just ran a marathon and he falls over onto the floor- "Dean!" Bobby goes to pull him up thinking he had passed out but he didn't, he just fell because he was so dizzy, "Boy, what's wrong?"

"Dizzy-" he swallows, "Hard to breathe-" right then he reaches for his phone and calls Castiel- when he doesn't pick up he calls for an ambulance instead. Bobby tries to keep Dean calm for the entire half hour it takes them to reach the house- when the paramedics arrive he explains what happened. After Dean is loaded up in the back, he explains to the paramedics that he doesn't eat very much- they nodded and thanked him. Bobby wouldn't be allowed to ride in the ambulance with Dean, with everything going on with the virus- no one but the patient was allowed in the hospital. 

Dean is awake and lucid the entire time but he's afraid- each bump in the road, each turn has him feeling like he's on a roller coaster ride rather than a vehicle. He's laying on his back but his heart is racing and it makes him all the more nervous. "Were going to give you some oxygen buddy-" one of the paramedics says as he sticks something cool and plastic up his nose, he doesn't know what it is but it's hooked up to an oxygen tank. "You don't have a fever- " the guy says after taking his temperature. "Once we get to the hospital, they're going to take some blood- you're going to be alright." he reassures him but it's going in one ear and out the other. 

"Fuck-" Dean _curses,_ he's felt like this before and he's dreading going through all this again but tries his best to keep it together- a hot tear rolls down his flushed face anyway. The paramedic notices and pats him gently on the shoulder to give him some comfort but of course it doesn't- he's wearing a face mask, the driver was too- it scared him.

When they unload him at the hospital, everyone there is wearing masks and gowns- making him feel more on edge. "I'm scared-" he says quietly to the paramedic, who thankfully stays for a few minutes while a nurse draws his blood. They do a chest x-ray on him, he was never told the results so he assumes that the results came back normal. The same nurse comes back and asks him to repeat his symptoms, he'd already told the paramedic but he repeats them anyway. 

He knows Castiel works here and for some reason he prays that he doesn't see him like this. The last thing he needs is to stress him out even more. When he's asked questions, he answers- but never mentions his step father, only his uncle. He told the nurse his uncle would be picking him up when released- she smiles at him like he wouldn't be going anywhere for a while. Another tear rolls down his cheek. No one is telling him anything and that's freaking him out, his heart actually starts racing even faster and the EKG catches it this time so they give him something through his IV line to help him relax. Dean wills himself to calm down because a different nurse told him that they'd have to sedate him and restart his heart if it didn't return to normal rhythm. _Shit._

Two hours in and he's still in the ER when a doctor finally comes in wearing a face mask and a long blue paper gown. "Dean Winchester?" He nods. "We figured out what's going on, your potassium levels are low so we're going to keep you overnight-"

Dean clears his throat, he was thirsty and no one has given him anything to drink. "Whys it low?"

"If you've been sick that can cause it- it's also common in people with eating disorders." he mentions, Dean nods. "Other than that, you're all set-" an alarm sounds off in the distance, "Excuse me." he says before pulling back the curtain to the small room and leaves.

Not long after that the same pretty nurse comes back, "Doctor come to see you yet?" he nods. "-I'm sorry Dean but you'll have to stay here and receive a few potassium infusions through an IV-" he nods again. "You'll be staying right here until we get a room for you, it's pretty packed here today." he nods a final time before she leaves and he looks up at the nearly empty IV bag besides his bed. He feels around in his pockets and his cellphone isn't in there. _Fuck me._ Another hour passes and he's now on his second IV bag and still no one offers him any food or anything to drink. 

He's drifting off to sleep when he hears a familiar voice talking to someone as he passes by. _Castiel-_ but he didn't come in, probably clueless about what's going on. The guy doesn't answer his phone for anything while he's working. Maybe that makes him a good doctor, but it makes him a shitty.. _whatever._

Another hour and he's still in the same room but now he's been given an apple juice and a pack of cookies in the mean time- he was promised dinner when he got to his room. He's really dreading the hospital stay ahead of him and the fact that he doesn't have his phone is pure torture. If he had it he could call Bobby, or Robin. Hell he could even call Jack or Sam to pass the time- it had been way to long since he had spoken with his friends back home. Another tear rolls down his cheek.

"Castiel-" Gabriel calls him over, he's got a chart in his hand. "What's your step sons last name?" he's given a weird look, "-is it Novak?."

"No- it's Winchester, why?" He says, taking a sip of the coffee he got in the cafeteria on his break.

"He's here-" Gabriel blinks, looking down at his chart. "He's in the ER, in room three-"

Castiel laughs, "That's impossible, he's fine-" The look of worry on Gabriel's face has him tossing his nearly full coffee into the trash and he pulls out his cell phone to call Bobby. It was _true-_ Dean was at the hospital. "Damn it-" he takes the chart Gabriel was holding and he reads the information- he finds out about Dean's low potassium levels, possible anemia, white blood count was a little high meaning he was battling some kind of infection. He gives the chart back and rushes to the ER of the hospital- to room three. 

When he pulls back the curtain to the small room, he sees that Dean's asleep- he'd come back when Dean was admitted and in a room of his own. For now he had to get back to work.

Dean opens his eyes many hours later, he's not alone in his hospital room, Castiel is there sitting next to his bed on the small sofa meant for guests. He's wearing a face mask but he'd recognize those blue eyes just about anywhere- "Cas-" he breathes.

Castiel stands and reaches for his hand, "I'm here-" Dean smiles and it brings one out of him as well. "You landed yourself in the hospital-again." Dean apologizes, he shakes his head. "I'm not angry-we'll talk about everything later." he says, then moves to check the yellow bag that was hanging next to his IV fluids. "This is your potassium babe-" he mumbles, trying to distract his love from what's going on- the IV was dripping pretty quickly which means it was burning as it entered his veins- it's a poor attempt at a distraction but he was trying. "You were given something to help you relax-" Dean nods, "Is it working?" Dean smiles so wide his little fangs make an appearance, "Of course it is-" he smiles back.

Dean licks his lips, "Am I gonna die?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Nurse-" he looks at the door, "-says low potassium can k-" Castiel has to find that nurse and tear her a new one because why in the hell would she scare him like that.

"Shh-" he kisses his forehead, "Your levels are going to go up so there's no need to worry about anything- you're going to be fine, you just have to make sure you eat." he nods. "Are you hungry?" Castiel brings the bedside table closer so he can feed him. "Are you in the mood for soup?" 

"Sure-" Dean doesn't like being fed with a spoon, but if it's Castiel- he'll endure it. He's so out of it that by the time he's done with the lukewarm soup that he starts mumbling about a trip he would like to take- "-a cabin in the woods-just us-doesn't that sound nice-"

Castiel kisses his hand again, he's got no clue what he's saying but he agrees to it anyway. "Just us, we'll go-" Dean falls asleep with the hint of a smile on his face, he gets up to kiss him goodnight. "That does sounds nice-" his lips press against his warm cheek next, "Just get better for me baby-" After he checks Dean's fluids one more time he leaves the room. 

The next morning Dean is doing much better, he's in the middle of eating breakfast and arguing with the television when Castiel comes in to check on him- by the looks of his scrubs and personal protective equipment- he's on the clock. "Dean-" he says and Dean looks at him, not having noticed when he walked in. "Doing better?"

Dean's face goes pink, "Yea-" he smiles. "Whatever they gave me really did the trick-" 

Castiel goes full on doctor mode and steps closer to his bed, "You're aware that this wouldn't have happened if you had been eating like you promised me you were doing?" He nods, "Unless you have an underlying health condition or have just had abdominal surgery it's pretty rare to have low potassium sine almost everything has it." He nods again in shame. Castiel looks at the orange juice on his bedside table, "Make sure you drink that-" 

"Sure Cas." Dean smiles. "I'm sorry-"

Castiel nods, his gloved hand comes up to rub the teens cheek a little. While he's drinking the orange juice he tells him-"So unless your appendix ever bursts or your gallbladder needs taking out, I don't want to see you in a hospital again. Got it?" the teen agrees and he pulls down his face mask to give him a quick peck on the lips. "Think you got one more infusion left and you're free to go home-" he checks the gold watch on his wrist, "Probably by the time I'm done working today, you'll be leaving with me. How's that sound?"

Dean sighs, "Good-sounds good." 

As promised, Castiel comes back with his discharge papers right at five on the dot. "What's that for?" Dean asks as he dresses into new clothes- Castiel had a large plastic zip lock bag with the hospitals logo, inside were things for an at home IV set up. 

"I'll be hooking you up to an IV back at home-" 

Dean rolls his eyes, "Fun-" 

"Here-" Castiel places a mask on him and winks before they head out. The drive back home was a silent one, mostly because Dean was in a pensive mood- he just looked out the window the whole time.

When Castiel parks in front of his house he asks, "Aren't you gonna take me home?" 

"Bobby said you could stay here tonight- in case you don't feel well and besides, he doesn't know how to set up an IV." he gets out of the car with Dean's things in hand, "Come on-I'll make you something to eat." Dean follows slowly behind him. All he was in the mood to eat were tater tots so Castiel fried some up and it felt like old times. Extremely _old_ times, like when Dean was much younger. "Here we go-" Castiel serves him on a plate and he doesn't forget the large glob of ketchup- he'd always loved ketchup. "Eat up, I need to take a quick shower-" Dean nods.

After his shower, he goes to his own bedroom and sets up the IV there so he can hook Dean up later before they go to bed. The house has five bedroom but he wants to keep a close eye on him. Castiel makes his way to the kitchen and sees that his plate has been wiped clear of what had been on it, "Good job." he smiles at him and sits down at the table with a sandwich he just made for himself. "Are you feeling better?" he asks with his mouth full.

Dean's eyes tear up but he doesn't cry, "I was so scared I was dying-" 

He swallows, reaching over the table to hold his hand. "You weren't even close to dying okay baby?" he nods. "But yes, low potassium can cause some very frightening symptoms-"

"Yea-" a tear rolls down his cheek and Castiel brushes it away with his thumb. "I'll do my best to eat-" Dean stays at the table with Castiel and just enjoys his company until he's finished, then maybe they could watch a movie together.

"Dean-" Castiel chugs the last of his soda, "I caught you being sick once- in the bathroom." Dean nods, "But were you sick after that? Low potassium can also be caused by prolonged-" he doesn't want to say it, he himself finds it triggering.

"Uh- yea. I was sick for a few days, thought it was a stomach bug." 

"Baby-" Castiel shakes his head and reaches for his hand again. "You gotta tell me everything that's going on with you-I know I'm not always emotionally available but I want to work on it."

"Thanks." Dean smiles. After a minute of silence he says, "Could we watch a movie?" Castiel nods and leads him to his bedroom, better to get him hooked up to the IV now and just relax the rest of the night. Once in the master bedroom, Castiel orders him to get in bed- Dean blushes and slowly climbs inside, under the covers. 

"I want you with me-" Castiel smiles and starts working on starting the IV line- it was an easy task, the nurse at the hospital had left the cannula in his arm. All he had to do was hook up the new tubes and start the IV drip. "There you go-"

After a moment he says- "Why do we fight so much?" the question catches his step dad off guard.

Castiel gets into bed next to Dean, "Maybe if I was just your-" Dean says _boyfriend,_ "Right- maybe we wouldn't argue so much but I have to be your-" he says _boyfriend_ again, "- and your father- those lines tend to blur at times." 

"Are you still gonna be like my dad when I turn eighteen?" Dean looks over at him, they make eye contact.

"I love you enough to be anything you want."

"Just be you, Cas." Dean snuggles in closer, after a few minutes of watching television in bed he complains. "It burns-" he looks at his IV. Castiel gets up and adjusts the drip so that it goes into his veins slower. They stay up holding each other under the covers and watch three movies in a row- Dean fell asleep first, then Castiel.

A loud clap of thunder startles Dean enough to wake him up and he was glad for the storm, he'd been having a nightmare since he'd fallen asleep. He was being chased through the woods by a dark shadow. He tries to fall asleep again but he can't, the lightning outside the window keeps lighting up the room every few seconds so he just watches Castiel sleep. Eventually Castiel opens one eye- "What are you doing?" he asks.

"Couldn't sleep-" Dean signs, "Can you take this out?" he looks down at his arm- Castiel sits up and looks at the empty IV bag and nods. Dean winces when the cannula is taken out of his arm and although a band aid is placed on the area right away Dean could see the glimpse of a bad bruise that would be there soon. "I'm hungry."

"Can't it wait?" Castiel yawns, Dean shakes his head. "Alright-" he's about to get out of bed, "Stay here, I'll bring you something-"

"Waffles-" Dean says. Castiel comes back quickly with his toaster waffles, they were strawberry eggos- Dean's favorite since childhood. He's allowed to eat them in bed and while he eats, Castiel lays back and closes his eyes in hopes of getting some more sleep but Dean asks, "Do you have to go to work today?" Castiel opens one eye again, he's beginning to feel like a real dad lately. "I mean- can't you stay with me?"

"I just started working again-"

"Please." Dean gives him his best puppy eye look and pouty lip combo, "I almost died-" they both knew he didn't almost die, but he fully intends on milking this for as long as he can so he can spend more time with him.

"I'll call in the morning, it's Friday- maybe I can get a three day weekend." Castiel's blue eyes close again. He's almost asleep when he remembers what Dean had been mumbling about at the hospital the day he was brought in. "Maybe rent a cabin-" he says sleepily before drifting away. At some point Dean manages to fall asleep again after he had his waffles in bed, when he opens his eyes- he's alone in bed.

Is he surprised? _No._ Is he angry? _You bet_.

Dean gets out of bed and wanders around the home, it having been his third time in it he takes the time to explore the large place. Peeking into every room in the house, he finds what he assumes is Castiel's office. It's still pretty bare but there's a basic black desk near one of the larger windows with his laptop sitting on the surface, opened. He closes the door and heads for the kitchen, there's not one thing in there he would eat. All he had were ready meals and things to heat up in the microwave- basically everything is frozen. No cereal, no chips, nothing fun. 

He sits at the table drinking an iced coffee that was in the fridge when his phone goes of, _Bobby._ "Hey Bobby-" he answers. "Yes, I'm here-No he's at work." after a few minutes of chatting about had happened at the hospital his uncle lets him know that he just made bacon, eggs and pancakes- his stomach growls in temptation so he says, "I'll be right there!" after hanging up he slowly makes his way out of the home, being mindful to lock up before going back next door. 

As he makes his way up the road to Bobby's, he works on sending Castiel a quick text- letting him know he won't be there when he gets home. If he were to be honest with himself he would say that he was pissed that he had to work so much but on the other hand, he didn't want for anything. Since Castiel had come into his life he's always had more than enough food even if he wasn't present to cook it for him, he always had new-clean clothes to wear, the mortgage was always paid on time, as were the rest of the bills. The last few years- he always had comics book to read, video games, you name it he had it and it was all because of his step dad. 

His father got him a pack of plastic army men from the dollar store every now and then or some hot wheels cars- maybe that's why he loved cars so much. Clothes, that was harder for John to provide him with- he'd never tell anyone but Sam would often loan him clothes for school. Good old Sam had been his only friend from preschool all the way to high school, he never was friends with any of the other boys because they bullied him- called him names for not wearing brand name clothes from the mall or because he didn't like any sports. Most of Dean's friends were girls and that was because they had crushes on him but he didn't mind- he took his friends where he could get them. Although he's moved away and is happy about it, he misses Sam. Sam was pretty popular in school, always had been but he had a soft spot for Dean Winchester, regardless of anything anyone had to say about him.

By the time he reaches the wooden fence his heart is warm, because he's _thankful._ For Castiel, Sam, and Bobby, he's not in the best situation but he's beginning to realize that life doesn't need to be so hard and vows to stay on the straight and narrow path meaning- no drugs, no alcohol- not that he really drank. Most of all- he does his best to vow to himself, no more starving and no more cutting. Dean Winchester will be eighteen soon and he's got to grow up- maybe not all the way, he'll always be goofy and silly, that's just _him._ But he will be a better man than his father John Winchester ever was. 

In certain ways he wants to be like his uncle Bobby, in other ways he wants to be like his step father Castiel- He'd find a good mix that would fit him just right.

When he walks up the porch steps to Bobby's he's got a hint of a smile on his face, a weight has lifted off of his soul- if he wants Castiel to be more understanding and open to his needs, and not run away emotionally when things get hard- he has to do his part to and actually come to him with an open heart as well- not just anger.

"That smells friggin' good Bobby-" Dean says when he walks through the screen door. "I'm starving-"

Bobby smiles, serving him a mountain of eggs, bacon and a few pancakes. "Dig in boy-" in the middle of breakfast his phone pings, it's a message from Castiel. 

**Sorry I went to work, forgive me?**

Dean smiles, typing his response.

**I'll forgive you if we go away soon. Deal?**

Castiel responds shortly.

**How about a cabin by the lake?**

**Sure but bobby will want to come. You know..**

**I don't mind, It'll be a family trip. Gotta run, love you.**

"Who you textin'?" Bobby asks.

"Robin." he lies, his uncle glares at him. "Fine, Cas-" his uncle sighs heavily, they still haven't spoken about Dean's love confession the other night. "Bobby, are you gonna call the cops on him-" he asks.

His uncle looks into his eyes, "I don't know what I'm gunna do, this is- balls." 

Dean smiles sadly, "I get it. You probably think he's a perv-" 

Bobby waves his hand in the air, "Boy shut up- I don't know what I think yet. Maybe if the guy didn't grow on me I would've called by now-" after a moment he asks, "Did John ever-?" he wiggles his eyebrows to suggest _something._

Dean swallows, "He never did- _that._ " Bobby nods, still eating. "But other stuff happened that felt weird-" 

"He hit ya? Didn't he?" Dean nods, "Like a spankin'?"

Dean snorts, "Bobby- you're so innocent." he shakes his head. "I would have loved a spanking, but no he used to do worse than that." Bobby asks him to explain, "I don't feel like talking about it but- I know you must hate Cas but-he's nothing like my dad."

Bobby nods. "Still don't know what to do about this-" he makes eye contact once again, "You remember the time you made Rufus sick, gave him a whole chocolate bar-" Dean laughs, nodding. "I'm sorry I spanked ya-"

"Bobby." Dean smiles, "You spanked me once, and times were different then- and you never beat me."

"That's what he did, he beat you?" he asks, Dean nods. "Had no idea- maybe if I knew- I-"

"It's fine Bobby, I'm safe now." he smiles at his uncle, "But yea- I wish I had told you what dad was really like. I would've loved to grow up here-" they share a sad but knowing smile and finish their breakfast in comfortable silence. When they're done Bobby asks him if he'd join him for a run into town to grab a few parts for a car he's working on and Dean agrees- he misses bonding with his dear uncle.

While they sit in Bobby's truck- on their way into town, to O'Riley's- he says, "You mentioned you were safe now-" 

Dean gives his uncle a quick glance before looking out the window again, "Yea, dad didn't really do anything to me anymore once he came into the picture." Bobby nods, not saying anything else. "He makes me happy Bobby-" he nods again. 

The door to O'Riley's buzzes when they walk in- they go straight to find those car parts he needs for the repairs. It's not until they go to the front counter that they see _Brady._ Bobby doesn't recognize him at first, he's only seen him about twice before- though Dean stays frozen a few feet behind his uncle, just watching the guy behind the register. Brady acts like he doesn't know him and rings him up, "Thanks-" Bobby grabs the items he just paid an arm and a leg for, making his way towards the door and says impatiently- "Will ya hurry up-" Dean quickly follows his uncle out the door and towards the truck.

Seeing Brady again makes him wonder what happened, Benny said he was getting arrested. Bobby's starting the truck when Dean says- "Go to the diner, I wanna eat lunch-" 

"You read my mind, I'm hungry-" he laughs.

"You're always hungry." Dean laughs too and reaches over to rub his uncles belly which earned him a smack to the head. "Ow, was just foolin'-"

They pull up to the diner and get situated in a booth, he sees Robin across the diner taking someone's order so he takes advantage of the privacy they have right now to ask him. "Benny told me they were going to arrest Brady?" 

Bobby looks at him with confusion, "Whose Brady?" Dean glares at him and the memory comes to him, "Oh, that kid. Dunno, want me to call Benny and ask?" Dean nods, before he gives a different waitress his order. When she leaves he says, "Find out if he knows anything about Gordon too-" Bobby nods. 

They eat and chat, even laugh for the entire hour and a half that the spend at the diner. It was so nice to just _be._ Hanging out with his uncle like this is just what he needed. His phone buzzes in his pocket, "It's Cas-" he says. "Bobby um-would it be cool if we rented a cabin?"

"You and Cas? Alone?"

He shakes his head, "All three of us-"

"Dunno-" Bobby shrugs, "I like Cas. I think he's a good father figure for you- good job, dependable- just, why did ya have to get involved with him like that?" he speaks in a hushed tone just in case someone were to walk by. Dean shrugs, because he really doesn't know. All he knows is that he loved Castiel, he didn't know how else to express it so one day- on his thirteenth birthday to be exact, he decided to express that love with a kiss and it just happened to turn into more. "I'll think bout' it-but no funny business. If I catch him doin' something, lookin' at you funny- I'm punchin' him."

Dean nods, "You go ahead and do that Bobby, whatever makes you happy-

His uncle speaks up again, "Maybe this would've been different if you were eighteen already and then-" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Wait- you two haven't?"

"No-no Bobby. I'm still a virgin." he lies. "When I told you I loved him I meant it but- I never said we were doin'-" he pauses, "-it." 

Bobby sighs in relief, "Good. Don't be doin' nothin'-" after a while he adds, "If you're gay, no problem but- you're just young- you know? Don't think you're mature enough to handle-" 

Dean nods, shoving the last french fry into his mouth. "I know-don't worry, we're not doin' anything-" he lies again, Bobby sighs with relief. "So, can we go?" he asks impatiently.

"Well-" he takes a sip of his soda, thinking it over. "Don't see why not-"

"Hell yea!" Dean cheers a little too loudly, everyone in the diner stares at him for a moment- he sits there and takes it. "Sorry-" he whispers to his uncle. After a few minutes and once they have regained somewhat of their privacy they continue talking in hushed tones.

"Does he know you love em-" their eyes meet, "-in _that_ way?"

"Yea- he's my best friend." Dean smiles, thinking about Castiel and shrugs. "No matter what, I would love him and he'd always be my friend-"

"Have ya told the therapist, how you feel about em?" 

"No and I'm not going to-" he says through gritted teeth. "She'd think he was abusing me- call the cops- that whole thing." Dean plays with the straw of his drink mindlessly.

"Maybe you should talk to her like you're talkin' to me now. Tell her you have feelings for your step dad, maybe she can help you work them out-figure out if you love em because you love em, or if you just really love em like a dad-" 

Dean shrugs, thinking about it. Maybe he should talk about it- Bobby didn't tear him a new one because all he thinks he has for Castiel are feelings-that maybe he's just confused. He thinks they haven't acted on anything yet. After a minute he smiles, "Sure Bobby, I'll talk to her about it."

Bobby smiles and takes out his wallet to pay for their meal, Robin comes over and collects their bill and cash. "She really your girlfriend?" Dean blushes and nods because it is true- even if it isn't legit. They don't really kiss or make out, they do hold hands though but he likes to think of it as just being good friends. The drive home is anything but silent, after his stay in the hospital he's feeling really good and energetic.

The truck was filled with Dean's horrible singing all the way back- who knew he loved the song _All out of love_ by _Air Supply_ so much. 

Dean drums his fists in the air in front of him as he sings, "I'm all out of love- I'm so lost with out you-I know you were right for-" his uncle smacks him in the head again. "Bobby!" he laughs, "Wait wait- this is the good part-" he keeps singing obnoxiously while Bobby curses under his breath. _Balls._

That night Castiel shows up around nine in the evening, Bobby answers the front door. "Cas. What are ya doin' here so late?" Castiel shows him the injection. "Right, come in-"

Dean perks up on the couch, trying not to look too happy that he's there. "You're late-"

Castiel nods, giving him a small smile. "You know, work." Dean nods, watching him prepare the injection of his vitamin- it looked like red cool-aid in the syringe. Dean lifts his sleeve so the needle can go in his upper arm, "Good?" he nods now that it's over and done with. Bobby is watching the interaction so he doesn't say anything that might incriminate him further. "Dean, on the first of the month I'm going back home to collect the rent from our tenant, would you like to come? We could make a day of it-you could see Sam and Jack-"

Dean looks at Bobby with pleading eyes. Bobby sighs, "We'll see how you're feelin' then, yea? Last thing I need is for somethin' else to happen to ya."

Dean pouts but accepts his uncles answer and shrugs, "Maybe next time." 

Castiel smiles, "Better get home, I'm tired." he puts the needle in a sharps bag he brought with him so he can dispose of the needle later. Both Dean and Bobby follow him to the door, "Oh-" he stops. "Our trip, Bobby do you want to come with us? I told Dean about renting a cabin by the lake." he says innocently, not knowing the man already knows Dean's in love with him, though lucky for him he thinks that's all it is. Some young, puppy love-crush type of thing.

Bobby nods, patting Castiel on the back on his way out the door- "Sounds like fun." 

"Next weekend?" Castiel looks over at Dean, then Bobby- who nod in agreement. "Great, I'll pick you two up on Friday."

Dean can't hide the smile that appears across his face though when his uncle turns around, it disappears. 


	46. Cabin Fever

A few days later they meet in the woods behind Bobby's again. Dean hadn't seen Castiel since the day after getting home from the hospital, around mid week he couldn't wait anymore and texted his step dad to meet him _ASAP._ They agreed to meet at midnight on the dot, at the big rock in the middle of the clearing that was located deep between the trees, they'd be completely hidden there- they'd be safe from prying ears.

When Castiel shows up at their designated meeting area he sits next to Dean on the rock and they share a brief kiss.

He asks, "Are you feeling better?" and wraps an arm around the boys shoulder to keep his safe and warm.

Dean leans into him, "Yea, a bit." he smiles. "Do I really gotta go back to the hospital and get blood work done?" Castiel nods, "Damn it-"

"Don't worry." he kisses the teens light brown hair, "It's just so we can see how your levels are." 

"I guess-" Dean sighs, "I'm tired of all this-"

"I'm not here to upset you but, if you want to get better you need to eat more. You were doing so well-" 

"Then you left-" Dean looks up at him, his green eyes now dimmed by sadness.

"It wasn't my choice, you know that." he nods, "It doesn't change how I feel about you" After a beat he mentions, "I'll be on my old work schedule- four days a week. How's that sound? And I got that three day weekend so we can take that trip we've been talking about-"

Dean smiles, "Okay." he wishes he hadn't gone back to work so soon but four days a week is better than being gone every single day like before they got to Bobby's. "Love you-" he says suddenly.

"Love you too sweetheart." he kisses his love gently, running his fingertips through his short hair. "Never forget it." 

They spend a long while sitting there on the large rock, in middle of the woods-just talking and sharing kisses. Dean eventually mentions that his high school diploma has arrived and Castiel vows to him that they will do something in order to celebrate and God he hopes that's true. He's never cared about getting good grades because no one ever celebrated them on the rare occasion that he scored a high mark but now that he's got two people to cheer him on, he's got to try harder to make them proud.

There's a few moments of silence where they just look up at the full moon and enjoy it's beauty. Dean yawns loudly all of a sudden.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed-" Dean nods. Castiel leads the way through the bare trees, back to his uncles and gives him a goodbye kiss, "See you this weekend-" before watching him disappear through the screen door. 

The next day when Dean comes in from a long day of working on a car for Bobby- he finds a gift bag on the kitchen table and a sheet cake that Castiel must have brought over at some point while he had been out back.

"That's yours-" Bobby says, not looking up from the car manual he had been looking through- believe it or not, Bobby singer didn't know everything there was to know about cars, especially the newer models. His specialty were classic cars, though those were getting hard to come by. 

Dean sits down at the table and peeks inside the bag, inside was a folder and for a moment he's confused until he opens the folder and reads through the papers held inside. It turns out Castiel had paid for his tuition for the Automotive Technology program, the registration forms inside the folder had all the information printed on them- even the date he would be starting school which would be in the late fall. Around November. His eyes well up with tears at the thoughtful gesture he had just gotten, "Damn it Cas-" he wipes his eyes.

"What is it-" his uncle snatches the folder from his hand, reading through the pages- "Shit, he really paid for you to go to college huh-" Dean nods, the program hadn't been expensive- at least not as expensive as university or community college would have been- it was a technical college but it made him happy nonetheless. "He really loves you." he says finally, handing back the folder.

"Yea, he does." his fingertips trace the schools pattern that was embedded in the folder. "So, cake?" his uncle nods and they help themselves to a big slice each. Before cutting the cake it read, _You Did It!_ in green frosting- his favorite color.

That night he sleeps like a baby, someone was proud of him and it felt damn good. Even his uncle had been proud, he showed it by taking him to a local hunting store and letting him pick out an Air Rifle, even if it wasn't a real rifle- Bobby assured him he could still hurt someone with it if needed.

On his journal before going to bed he wrote, _Today was_ awesome.

Before they know it it's the weekend of their trip, they were leaving on Friday. Castiel drives up early around Seven in the morning to pick them up as promised.

"Ready?" he asks Dean, helping him load up his duffle bag into the back seat where he would be riding because his uncle called shot gun. They haven't been on the road an hour when Castiel says, "Have to pick up some food and stuff for our trip-" he pulls up to a parking space.

"Go ahead without me-" Bobby says from the front seat of Castiel's car, "Darn knee is actin' up-" his hand rubs up and down his kneecap. "Jus' leave the air on will ya-" Castiel nods and they get out of the car, leaving him behind. 

Dean is practically skipping ahead of his step dad on their way into the market. The day was nice, not too hot and the sky was a pale blue. "Wait up-" he calls, now sprinting to catch up to the teenager. 

Dean grabs a shopping cart and they walk through the aisles, slowly picking up the items on their list. An older woman walking by them drops her keys and he quickly crouches down to grab them, handing them back to her. She smiles and tells Castiel- "Your son is so polite." before she carries on with her shopping. They both go red around the ears. 

"That it?" Dean says, looking around for anything they may have missed. They're cart is almost overflowing. Castiel nods and they make their way to the check out line. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom-" Castiel nods again, he was reading a magazine he picked up so he wasn't paying attention. It's not long before his phone pings with a text. It's from Dean and all it says is, _I need help._

After paying for the supplies and groceries he heads over to where the bathrooms are, parking the car right outside. "Dean?" he calls, he doesn't answer back so he walks inside, "Dean?" he pushes open the only occupied stall to find the teen there, looking completely fine. "Thought you needed hel-" Dean pulls him in and shoves him against the stall, kissing him frantically. "Dea-" he gives in for a moment before pulling away- panting. 

"Just really wanted to do that-" Dean fixes Castiel's shirt and leads the way out. When Bobby sees them approaching the car with a nearly full shopping cart he steps out to help them load everything into the trunk.

"Took ya long enough." he mumbles, pulling bags and placing them in the car. "Tell me you went to the bathroom already-" they look at each other, "Don't wanna be stoppin' every five minutes cause one of ya has to pee. Let's go!" 

It took almost three hours before they arrived at their destination but they didn't mind for a second, the route was beautiful and the scenery was to die for. It was late summer but the trees were drying up and some were bare- ready for fall. Dean hopes they can come out here more often, growing up he's never gone on any family vacations or traveled anywhere. This is all new and he'd love to do it again, he's just dying for new family traditions of his own. 

After arriving at their cabin for the long weekend- Dean is in awe, he's quiet but his eye's are drinking up the view of the decent sized cabin and the lake. _The lake.._ the water shimmers on the surface in the dimming sunlight having arrived right around sunset and it was beyond beautiful, the trees that still had leaves on them- appeared orange and brown in the suns final glow. He definitely wanted to come back. 

"Like it?" Castiel asks him, while Bobby and he unload the truck. 

"Yea-" he can't take his eyes off that beautiful sunset, he's always been a sucker for sunsets. Hell, he was a sucker for the outdoors and had always felt ashamed when other kids at school asked if he'd ever been camping or fishing- he lied and always said he had been. But no, he's _never_ done much- his bucket list would probably run ten pages long of all the things he'd love to do before he died. "Love it-" he says, now helping with the final few grocery bags. 

Walking into the cabin is something else, it's not enormous- but it's cozy and nice. There's two bedrooms and a large living room, as well as a small kitchen. Dean flips on the light switch and sighs when the light comes on- he'd been afraid there wouldn't be any power way the heck out here. But there was. _Phew._

"You two take the rooms, I'll sleep on the couch." Castiel says, heading for the kitchen to put away the perishables. Bobby heads to his room first, he picked the bigger one and his argument was that he was older and needed more space. No one agreed with him but they knew not to argue with him.

"You cool on the couch?" Dean asks, helping him in the kitchen.

"Not really, but we can't sleep on the same bed." they make eye contact briefly. "So, fire tonight?"

Dean smiles, "Uh- yeaa." he was also a sucker for bonfires- fire in general was super cool in his book. 

"Grab those hot dogs-" he points to the hot dogs on the counter, "-and grab those too-" he looks at a package of marshmallows. "I'll be outside getting the fire started." and off he goes, into the outdoors.

Dean takes a moment to himself and realizes he's really _happy._ In this moment in time, right here in this cabin, he's happy. He's not thinking about just having been in the hospital, he's not thinking about the lab work Castiel told him he has to do at the doctors when they come back, he's not thinking of his past- or his future. He's just happy being here right now. Castiel calls to him, "Coming!" he yells before heading out.

Outside by the fire Castiel had started, they sit on a couple of fold out chairs they had brought for the trip. "You're burnin' it!" Bobby yelps, pulling Dean's arm back so his hot dog doesn't get to close to the fire. "Your daddy shoulda took you campin'-" he sighs, realizing this hot dog has gone to waste- he's burned three already.

No one responds to that comment but eventually Dean speaks up, "Bobby, did you ever ask Benny about-" he looks at Castiel, he's forgotten to tell him. "-Brady."

Bobby puts down his beer on the ground, "I asked- he said he didn't know anything. Asked about Gordon too, they're still lookin'- everyone thinks he ran off to mexico." Dean nods, at least one of the bad guy's is gone. "Not to worry, he doesn't know where ya live. Even if he did, that's why we got guns-" he nods again.

"Dean-" Castiel places his nicely cooked hot dog in a bun and hands it over to the teenager. "Here, you keep burning yours-"

"Thanks-" he hands over his raw hot dog on a stick to his step dad in exchange for the cooked dog. The conversation remains light for a while, it's surprising to him that even though he's not doing anything but sitting down on a chair- eating- his heart still manages to beat hard and fast. "Cas-" he has to ask or he'll never be able to enjoy this trip. "Does low potassium make your heart race?"

Castiel looks over at him, "Is your heart racing?" Dean nods. Instantly he feels guilty and is starting to think that maybe the trip could have waited a few more weeks until Dean was completely recovered. He gets up and crouches down in front of Dean, "Just relax, your heart is racing but nothing is going to happen. You're fine-"

"But-" 

"I know it feels uncomfortable but it's okay- just finish eating." He nods and resumes eating and Castiel pulls his chair up next to him in case he needs any help. Bobby doesn't approve of certain _things,_ but he can't deny that he knows how to take care of the boy.

When he's done with his food- "Come on, time for your injection-" they get up in unison and head for the cabin. Once inside Castiel pulls out the needle from his duffle bag and works on preparing the injection, "Ready?"

Dean pulls off his hoodie and lifts the sleeve of his shirt, the needle goes in- and out. It's over in less than thirty seconds. "Thanks." he misses Castiel but he doesn't dare come closer, the cabin's got a window and they're standing in front of it. Castiel then hands him a little pill- his supplement- and he takes that without making a fuss. Castiel goes outside first, back to the fire and Dean stays looking through the fridge and finds nothing else he'd like to eat right now so he follows.

"How long will he be gettin' get those shots?" Bobby asks, now roasting marshmallows for the gang. 

"Possibly the rest of his life." and it's the way he said it that shocks them- they glare at him like he's just told them something extremely horrifying. "I mean-yeah-it's possible you might need these forever." Dean whines, "It's not scary." he smiles at him. "We'll be able to go from weekly to monthly, then maybe every three months or so- it's maintenance, so your levels don't drop again."

"Like an oil change?" 

Castiel laughs softly, "Sure, if you want to think about it like that." after a moment he says, "You know, a racing heart is also due to low vitamin B12. The injections will help-"

Bobby quickly puts a stop to the conversation, he really doesn't like Castiel's medical teachings and it's mostly because he himself has acid reflux, heart burn and high cholesterol. Knowing Castiel, it would be about time before he was put on a strict diet of fruit, vegetables and not much else in order to get him healthy. When Dean and Castiel first arrived, Castiel had mentioned a better diet because he was slightly over weight and that his beer gut worried him but of course, Bobby ignored him every time it was brought up, though now he was happy that he wasn't there to witness his dining habits- it's part of the reason he told him to rent the place next door. 

"Fine, no more health talk." he smiles at Bobby and winks. "But, you should really cut back on the red meat-" he still tries.

"Shut it!" he curses, making Dean and Castiel laugh- the sudden rustling in the trees behind them shuts them up. "Wut's that?" Bobby stands, hands on his hips. The rustling is heard again. "Don't tell me we got bears here-"

Dean snorts, "The only bear around here is you-" that comment earns him a smack to the head. "You're gonna give me brain bleed-" he whines.

"Will ya quit tellin' em' your hospital horror stories!" Bobby yells at Castiel who just shrugs dumbly. The rustling is heard closer-the three of them walk closer to the trees and try to see what's moving around in there but it was hard to make out anything through the dark of the night. "Let's go inside-"

"What if it's-" Dean looks at Bobby.

"You think that old Impala can make it all the way out here?" he nods. "Boy you talkin' stupid, that thing is on it's last leg- It ain't him." The rustling is heard again and this time they all scream- even Bobby- because a whole family of bats end up flying out of the trees and towards them so they run like bats out of hell themselves, heading for the cabin.

"Balls!"

Dean's hunched over, panting- half laughing once they all make it through the door and says, "Didn't know you could scream-" another smack to his head, making him whine again.

Castiel is in the kitchen whipping up something for dessert, their marshmallows were forgotten outside on the ground. "Feel like Ice cream?" he says, already serving up three bowls of it- Dean doesn't seem interested until he mentions his favorite thing of all time. "There's pie too-" and right away he comes to the table and sits down. 

"Does this count as camping?" Dean says as he eats. "I've never been camping-" 

Castiel smiles, "We can go camping one of these weekends." Dean smiles back. "We can try fishing tomorrow though-"

"We sure can, I came prepared-" he looks over towards the corner of the living room and they see a whole bunch of fishing gear. "Brought my rifle too, just in case we wanna go huntin'-" 

Dean nods, "Awesome-" and continues eating. 

When he wakes up the next morning, he makes his way out to the living room and sees no one there- there's no breakfast being made. He checks the other bedroom and it's empty too. "Where the hell-" in that moment he hears Bobby and Castiel laughing right outside, they were grilling sausages on the fire for breakfast. He opens the front door, "Hello! We got a kitchen in here-"

They shrug, "More fun to cook outdoors!" Bobby calls, Dean walks up to them and watches the grownups do all the work. "We got some eggs-" Bobby gestures to a pan filled with scrambled eggs. "Eat up." Dean sits on one of the fold out chairs and serves himself up the first couple sausages that had been cooked and a huge pile of eggs, "Leave some for us will ya-" Dean ignores him and digs in.

He moans, "Why is it so good-"

"Butter in the eggs-" Bobby smiles proudly.

Dean smiles, "Well hello cholesterol-" and keeps eating until his plate is cleared- he's already done by the time Bobby and Castiel sit down to their breakfast. "We got any coffee?" Bobby gets up and serves him a hot cup of the dark liquid in one of those camping mugs. "Mmm, smells good-" he blows on it to cool it down and just looks around the place- enjoying the view of the lake in the early morning fog and the sun rise that's hiding behind the dark clouds. "This is the life-" he inhales and exhales the fresh air. 

Castiel smiles and digs into his own food, so does Bobby. When every bit of food that had been cooked has disappeared Bobby says, "What we doin', fishin' or huntin'?" 

Dean thinks about it, "Hunting." Bobby goes inside the cabin, leaving Castiel and the teen alone for a few good minutes- they don't dare come within two feet of each other. "So Cas-" Dean grins, leaning over on his fold out chair. "You miss fuckin' me?"

Castiel goes red, looking away. "Shut up."

"Come on- don't you miss this sweet ass?" Dean gets up and stretches his limbs obnoxiously, knowing full well that his step dad can see his ass. 

"I'm gonna go see what's taking him so long-" Castiel rushes towards the cabin just as Bobby is coming out- with the rifle in hand and Dean's boots.

"Put these on boy-" he tosses them to the teenager. Dean slips on the boots and follows his uncle and step dad into the dense yellowed trees. After walking around a while he says, "Ain't it nice out here?" Both Dean and Castiel agree with him. Another while later it's Dean's turn to hold the gun and he does so proudly. "Careful with that thing, we ain't really gonna shoot anything, it's for protection-"

"Against what?" Dean says, aiming it at a fairly large rabbit that crossed their path- then he aims at nothing in particular and fires. 

"Watch it!" Bobby takes the rifle from Dean who is now laughing. The rest of the day is spent hiking around the trees, eventually Dean shot at a bird's nest and knocked it down when his uncle trusted him with the gun again. "No more turns for you-" he says and gives the rifle to Castiel- who holds it uncomfortably like it might go off in his hand without pulling the trigger.

They make it back to the cabin safely, Dean didn't shoot one of them by accident and they start on dinner- they agreed upon hamburgers. This time Dean got to grill them on the fire, turning them over every few seconds or so. He wasn't much of a cook but grilling he could do, it was easy enough. Dean made two burgers for each of them and Castiel raved about them being so good- the slightly toasted bun was a nice touch. 

The day had been filled with total and complete male bonding, which he liked-it was fun- he could burp and not feel ashamed about it. Dean lets out the loudest belch ever and Castiel glares at him, "That's disgusting-" 

"Oh yea?-" he takes a large gulp of his root beer soda and does it again just to piss him off. Bobby does it too, though it wasn't as loud. "Nice try Bobby-" 

Soon the silence sets in, they watch the fire die off- the last final embers trying to roar back to life. The sky is a dark purple- birds or bats keep flying over their heads way off in the distance. The water in the lake looks completely black, almost eerie looking. "I could live here." Dean confesses.

"We can't keep moving to run away from our problems-" Castiel says seriously and Dean sighs dramatically, "We'll come back sometime, it is nice-" 

"I myself am really lovin' it here-" Bobby says, grabbing a flat stone that was near his chair on the earth and tosses it into the lake- they watch it skip a few times before it sinks into the black abyss. "Always been an outdoor kinda guy-"

Dean leans over towards his uncle with his can of soda in his hand, "To family-" Bobby does the same with his beer and they toast. "You too Cas-" he extends his arm farther and bumps his can against Castiel's beer, "We're all family." 

Castiel nods, "If you think I've earned that right-" he looks towards Bobby and Bobby pats him roughly on the back. "Thank you, it means a lot to me."

When Castiel gets up to go to the bathroom inside the cabin his uncle looks over at him. "You still gonna talk to the therapist about your feelings-" and it's not a question, it's an order and Dean nods his head. 

"Yes sir." After a few minutes of silence, aside from birds chirping in the distance- Castiel comes back from the cabin and Dean says, "Bobby, you got any scary stories?" His uncle looks pensive as if trying to think of one. "You gotta have some, living in that big ol' house all by yourself-all those years."

Bobby smiles, "I got a few- Bought that ol' place when me and Karen first got married-" his mouth curls into a sad smile when he mentioned her name, "-anyway, the house had been a lot nicer than it is now, with Karen fixin' it up all the time. She did the cleanin', she loved those doily things- had them all over the place." he chuckles, "Had dozens of those antique figurines and such-" he shakes his head, "-Karen, she had a miscarriage-" he looks over at Dean and Castiel.

Dean nods compassionately, so does Castiel. "Damn, I didn't know. Jus' kinda thought you didn't want kids-"

Bobby smiles and sips his beer, "Oh no, I wanted em'- just after she lost the baby-we were too darn broken to try for another." a minute of silence before he continues, "-she lost the baby. We were torn up about it for a long time-we started havin' nightmares about our screamin' child-"

Dean gulps. _This is scary.._ "Go on-"

"Eventually those nightmares became true, me and Karen- we'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear a baby cryin'-" he looks at Dean and Castiel in the eye, "There was no baby, the nursery was empty. For the longest time we didn't know where the cryin' was coming from until one night-" he sips his beer, "It was the middle of winter, coldest one we ever had and I was out back choppin' wood for the fire place and there it was, the screamin'- it was comin' from the woods."

"No shit-" Dean says. Castiel is silent.

"I go into those woods-" Bobby takes the final sip of his beer before tossing the empty can in front of him, "The cryin' was getting closer and closer-" a rustling is heard in the woods, they ignore it and keep listening to the story. "-guess what I find?" they shrug. "I find a baby blanket all covered up in mud and leaves on the ground- it was _hers._ " he says in reference to his child.

Dean huffs, "Shit-that's fuckin' creepy-" Bobby grins, "Wait, was any of that true!" 

He shrugs, "Did lose my baby, but no- she didn't haunt us."

"Oh my god." Dean's heart is racing so he rests against the chair, luckily this time it was beating quite fast due to the story. "Fuck you Bobby- shit." he looks over at Castiel who looks pale, "What? Don't tell me it scared you that much-" 

Castiel points towards the lake, he saw something. "I thought I saw-"

"What!" Dean hisses, his nerves are shot right now. 

"I thought I saw a woman over there." Castiel stands up, taking a few steps towards the lake and Dean follows him- clutching onto his arm for dear life. "She was dirty- and wet-" Suddenly Castiel screams in his face, "Ahhh!!!! Gotcha!"

Dean falls over and he himself shrieks in terror, "Fuck you two!" and covers his face to hopefully hide the blush he knows is coming. "Assholes!" 

Castiel and Bobby give each other a high five while laughing, though Castiel is the only one who helps the teen up- dusting him off of leaves and dirt. "You wanted a scary story." he laughs again.

"It's not funny-" Dean looks at his uncle with a sad look on his face, "I'm sorry you lost your-"

Bobby waves him off, "It happened early on, before she even knew she was pregnant- only caught it because she got tested for somethin' else at her lady doctor." Dean nods sadly though. A bat flies by over head and they all look up to watch it go by, "Wanna have another?" he asks Castiel who agrees to one last beer.

the rest of the night is spent sharing laughs and talking about anything that comes to mind- anything from women to guns. Dean goes to bed first, in one of the bedrooms. Then Bobby and Castiel head in after polishing off their final beer, Bobby goes to the other bedroom and Castiel plops down onto the couch- semi drunk. 

Dean comes out and he shakes him awake after a while, "Cas-" he whispers- Castiel opens his eyes half away. "Jus' wanted a kiss-" Castiel leans up on his elbows and Dean kisses him, it's a soft innocent kiss until it's not- like always the kiss turns into tongues fighting each other to see who would win. 

Castiel's logic returns and he pushes him away, "Go to bed before we get caught." Dean pouts, "Go-" he points towards the bedrooms and off he goes, stomping his bare feet on the wooden floor as he walks to his room. "Fuck-" he lays back on the couch and passes out. 

They weren't asleep for very long when the sound of heavy rain splatters against the roof of the cabin. Dean looks at his phone, five in the morning- "Damn it." he was the only one who could fall back to sleep. Bobby and Castiel met in the living room and watched the storm from the window as they enjoyed a cup of coffee each. Eventually Dean comes padding into the kitchen barefoot- "Why you guys up? It's early- " he opens the fridge and takes out the jug of orange juice. 

"Couldn't sleep- " They both say in unison, they're hardly awake at the kitchen table. "Clearly you slept well-" Castiel looks him up and down, the teens hair is messy and his shirt was extremely wrinkled- a sign of a good nights rest.

"You know me, I can sleep through anything." he shrugs, pouring himself a glass of juice and leaving the jug on the table as he goes back to his room. Castiel asks him what on earth he's going to do in there, he responds with- "Jack off! What else!"

Castiel rolls his eyes and Bobby gets himself a second cup of coffee- going to bed any time soon to catch up on some _zzz's_ is clearly out of the question, storms relax some people but they frightened him. Probably because back home the risk of a tornado was too high. "Think we'll be able to head back?"

Castiel shakes his head as he reads something on his phone, "The main road back home is flooded, why risk it." Bobby sits down at the table again with his refilled coffee mug and some toast for himself and Castiel.

"Can ya take an extra few days off work?" 

Castiel shrugs, "No way around it-" Dean was in the hallway listening in on their conversation, he wasn't spying- he was on his way back to grab something to eat when he overheard them. "Honestly, I love my new job at this hospital- the people are nice. Before we moved here I had a really good friend at my hospital but um- we had a disagreement about something and working alongside her was just horrible after a while." Dean knows what the disagreement was about. Bobby didn't ask, just listened. "I met several other doctors here-" he resumes talking about his new job. "Met Gabriel-"

"I know em, he's my friend."

"You have a lot of friends Bobby." Castiel chuckles, taking a bite of his toast. His eyes are droopy, obvious that he's a little hung over and extremely tired. Bobby too. "I'm making more friends here than I did back home- I'm from Illinois."

"What brought you all the way out here?" he asks.

Castiel shrugs, "I got matched for residency here, Anesthesiology." he sips his coffee, "After my residency-" he pauses. "I just never left-"

"You happy here?" 

He shrugs again, "Sure Bobby." hearing that makes Dean sad, he knows the guy too well- he can tell when he's unhappy. Right then he acts like he just walked in and didn't hear a word. "Give me a minute and I'll make you something-" Castiel says.

With no emotional at all the teen says, "Gonna make a sandwich-" and pulls out the ham and cheese, then the mayo and bread.

"For breakfast?" Dean shrugs, "How about we all watch a movie later?" Castiel presses, he knows something is up with him but he doesn't know what. Everything was fine an hour ago. Dean shrugs again, "It's settled then, later we'll watch one- something scary?" 

Dean gives him a sarcastic smile, "Cool." before going to his room.

"Dunno what going on in that head of his-" Bobby sighs, "One minute he's fine, the other-" his sentence dies off and he sighs once more as he gets up from the table. "Think I'm gunna try to get some sleep-"

"Go ahead." Castiel says and finishes his toast alone. Afterwards he goes to sit on the couch and turns on the television, nothing but static so he shuts it off. He's biting his nails in boredom and looks over to the window- still coming down hard so he decides to bite the bullet and call the hospital to let them know he won't be in for another day or two. Hopefully the flooding lessens before then because really doesn't want to miss too many days at work.

Once the call is made, he's got two extra days off and hopes Dean will be happy about it. If Bobby weren't here this would have been a romantic trip for two, even with the rain. With Bobby around, there isn't much to do- they need to keep it platonic. Eventually Castiel starts the fire place, just to set the mood of a _cozy cabin,_ and gets to reading a new novel he had just started. 

He's reading for almost an hour when Dean comes out of his room and sits on the empty end of the couch, "Bobby?"

"Asleep." Castiel murmurs and he turns the page of his book- his glasses were on the tip of his nose threatening to fall off his face. Dean grabs his book and sets it on the small table in front of the couch before laying against his chest. "What's going on in here-" Castiel rubs the teens forehead with his fingertips, he shrugs. "You know you can talk to me, don't you?" 

Dean looks up at Castiel, "I heard you, before-" his hands fumble with the drawstring of his pajama pants. "-you never told me you were from Illinois, why didn't you go back home?"

Castiel sighs, "I don't like talking about my past-" 

"Why?" he asks.

Castiel can't deny him the truth, "Dean-" he hesitates because telling the truth is going to be humiliating, or at least he thinks so. "-my family was very poor growing up, we didn't have much-" he pauses, searching Dean's eyes- but he nods for him to continue. "-I got a scholarship on good grades alone, I worked very hard to keep it because my family couldn't afford it to pay for my education. We were homeless from time to time-" he pauses and searches those green eyes again for a hint of disgust. Anything, but there was only compassion. "After med school I didn't go back home because well- I didn't have a home to go back to. My mother had passed away and my father was in hospice-"

"I'm so sorry Cas-" Dean reaches up and caresses his face gently, "I had no idea-" he then begins to play with the ring on his let middle finger that he'd been given, the one that belonged to Castiel's father.

"You don't think less of me?" Castiel swallows over the knot in his throat. 

Dean shakes his head, "Not one bit. There were times my parents and I came close to being-" Castiel nods, not wanting him to say it. "-but thanks to you-" he pokes Castiel's nose, "-that never happened. I wasn't lying when I said you saved my life- you saved it in more ways than one."

"You saved my life too-you gave me a home-" he leans forward and kisses the teens messy hair, "-and I'm not just talking about a house."

Dean blushes, "Yea yea-" he plays it off. "So when did you start making money? After med school."

Castiel smiles, "Honestly, a few months before I moved in with you and your dad- that's when I got my first job after residency." Dean nods, looking pensive. "What?"

"Kinda thought you were into like- bondage parties or some crazy shit like that, thought that's why you never talked about life before us-" and he looks completely serious while saying that and it makes Castiel laugh, "What!" he whines, "You're a freak, Novak." 

Castiel nods, chuckling. "Well- you weren't completely wrong." Dean squints at him, "I'm sort of-" he kisses the teen softly on the lips now. "-kinky, but you knew that." after a beat he then asks, "Wait a minute, how do you know about bondage parties?"

Dean hesitates, licking his lips- he knows they can't make out right there on the couch but boy does he want to. "I watch porn, don't ask. Uhm-Have you ever had sex dressed up like-" he shakes his head but Castiel refuses to let it go so he asks, "-have you had sex dressed up like a doctor?" he whispers, looking over at the bedroom door that led to his uncle. "Cause I think it'd be hot- if you were my doctor and I was your patient." 

"You think so?" Dean nods, blushing. He kisses him one more time, "We'll play when we get back-"

"Fuck yes." Dean bites his lip, "So fuckin' hot-" Castiel smiles and orders him to take a cold shower to get rid of the thing in his pants.

The rest of the day is unbearable, they're both hot and bothered and feeling closer than they had been in a long time. The honestly of their conversation had made Castiel wonder why he ever even hid it from him in the first place. Dean hadn't judged him or made fun of him, he just accepted it and that made him happy-just maybe he would share the rest of his secrets with him one day.

The rain had cleared soon enough before the day had ended and Bobby for one, was glad for it because there was a special car back home that needed working on that belonged to his special _lady_ friend who lived in town.. Dean liked to call that friend his girlfriend because it is what she was, even if his uncle denied it.

The next morning before leaving Castiel and Dean had a moment to themselves in the hallway of the cabin while Bobby was loading up the car. "Dean-" he wipes a tear that rolls down his young face, "We'll come back, I promise." he nods sadly-he hadn't wanted to leave any time soon. "Lets go, Bobby's waiting." Castiel leads him to the car so they can begin the journey back home.

"You excited to see your girlfriend?" Dean suddenly asks from where he sat in the backseat of Castiel's car.

"Shut up before I shut you up." Bobby huffs, he was wringing his hands on his lap with all the nerves he was feeling. "Yea- I'm excited-" he finally says. They arrive back home in a few short hours and Bobby heads into town to see his _girlfriend._

"That's friggin' cute-" Dean laughs, watching Bobby drive off down the dirt road- "-even at his age he's still gettin' some." When the truck is out of view Castiel surprises him by pulling him in close and giving him a kiss. "What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason to kiss you?" Dean shrugs. "Exactly." he kisses the teen again before giving his ass a smack- "Hurry up and take all this stuff inside, I need to head home-" Dean nods, slightly disappointed. He was sort of hoping they could spend some time together. After bringing his stuff and Bobby's things back into the house he's about to sit down to eat something when his phone rings.

"You forget something?" Dean asks as he makes himself yet another sad sandwich. All Castiel said is for him to come over so he does and takes his sweet time walking next door, when he walks in he calls out, "Hellooo-" the house was a bit dark for six o'clock. "Where are you?" when he steps foot into the kitchen he sees a nice dinner laid out on the table with a few candles. "Cas-" 

Castiel gets up from the table, pulling out his chair. "Have a seat." Dean sits down, his eyes scan the dinner. There's salad, pasta and dessert. _Cherry pie.._ "I wanted to do something nice for you, it's been a while since we've done anything romantic together."

Dean blushes, "Yea-" before serving himself some pasta. "Wasn't expecting this-" Castiel pours him a little bit of wine into his glass. "I'm not eighteen-"

"It's okay, I won't tell." he winks.

"And thanks-" Dean reaches his hand over to place it on top of Castiel's, "-for paying for my school." 

They both lean over the table and meet in the middle for a quick kiss. "I love you so much-" he whispers. "You have no idea-"

"I love you too Cas-" They're both clearly aroused but it would have to wait because dinner was hot and it needed to be eaten now. "Uh, let's eat-" he laughs, "I'm starving-" the evening is spent in the midst of light conversation and dim candlelight- the pie at the end was the cherry on top to this perfect night. Castiel excuses himself and goes to the bedroom- leaving him alone.

Since no one is looking, he gulps down the dark red liquid that makes him feel warm inside, he wasn't sure if he liked it. "Cas?" he calls out, standing up and he wanders around the living room looking at his step dads things. It makes him laugh because the place is very tastefully decorated, secretly he'd love to live here.

"Cas?" he calls out again and goes to the bedroom to find Castiel there, wearing his lab coat from work over the clothes he already had one. "You goin' to work? I thought we had the night-"

"Dean Winchester?" He asks, Dean nods dumbly because he's unaware of what's going on. "Have a seat-" when he puts his stethoscope around his neck he understands- they're role playing. He had wanted this. 

Dean takes a seat on the bed, Castiel stands in front of him and starts listening for his heart beat with the stethoscope- it was cold and it made him flinch- "All normal-" he listens to his lungs next before it's wrapped around his neck again. "It's time for your injection, and your medication." Dean snorts because he thinks injection means something else, something dirty but Castiel actually pulls out a needle and prepares his vitamin shot.

"Oh that injection." he grins.

The needle goes in and out without a fuss, Dean's gotten used to it and he barely feels it go in. "All done-" he presses a band aid to his upper arm.

Dean's looking up at his sexy step father and innocently asks "What are you gonna do-" while Castiel is silent like he's thinking about something, his warm fingers trace along Dean's jawline. "Cas-" he says, his voice clearly showing his level of arousal. "C-can I suck it-" he bats his eyelashes. Castiel groans and pushes down his pants down to his knees. His already hard cock now inches from the teens face.

"Suck it-" Dean gulps, sucking dick still made him nervous. "Go ahead baby, it's okay- I love you." he encourages softly and Dean goes for it- moaning as he swallows the thick cock into his mouth- only gagging once. "Mmfuck-such good boy-" Castiel places his hand on the back of the teens neck to help him along with the task at hand. "Always a good little boy for me, aren't you?-" and he moans in agreement.

Dean lets the cock in his mouth slip away from him for a second so he can unbutton his jeans and pull out his own, he resumes what he was doing- now jacking off while sucking Castiel's cock. 

The phone in Dean's pocket rings, it goes unanswered- Castiel's phone buzzes and he takes a quick look at it. It was _Bobby_ Calling. "Shit-" he pushes the hungry teen away from his crotch and answers, "Hey Bobby-" he tries to act casual- but Dean being the devil he is, starts sucking his cock again anyway. "Hmmm-" he tries not to moan, "Yeah, Dean's here-made him dinner since you were out, didn't know when you were coming ba-aack-" he looks down at the teen going to town on him. "Hmm-" he tries not to moan again. "Sure-I-I-" he's so close to coming- "I'll walk him over right now, bye-" and as soon as he hangs up he explodes into Dean's willing and open mouth. "Ugh-mmm-" 

He pulls Dean up so they're closer in height and french kisses the hell out of him- leaving him moaning and whimpering into his mouth. "Let me return the favor real quick-" Dean's about to protest because they don't have time but he's pushed down onto the bed so he can sit- Castiel already down on his knees and working on getting him off.

In less than a few minutes Dean grabs onto Castiel's hair and pulls on it- his body arches up- he tenses- "Shiiit-" and comes down his throat. He falls back against the bed and makes a crying sound- "Oh my-fuck-" he sighs loudly. 

Castiel wipes his mouth and tucks the teen back into his jeans, patting his thigh before standing. "Come on, I'll walk you back." he reaches for Dean's arm and pulls him up off the bed and guides him through the house- "Bobby's waiting, move it." 

Dean stumbles down the porch steps and they walk next door as slow as possible because they don't want to say goodnight. "Wish I could just live here with you." he admits as they reach the wooden fence.

Castiel stops, "Me too baby." he runs his fingers through the short hair as if to fix it up before faces his uncle. "It won't be long now, hang in there." Dean nods, they share a final kiss before Castiel is watching Dean run up the porch steps.

_Soon.._


	47. Ashes In August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for MCD -It's not Dean, Castiel or Bobby, no worries.

Castiel wipes the sweat off his brow, "Get going, before Bobby comes over looking for you."

Dean groans, pulling himself off of the comfortable memory foam mattress. "Fine!-" he groans, pulling on his jeans. As he zips them up he watches Castiel strip the bed of it's sheets. "When can I see you again?-" he asks quietly.

Castiel tosses the dirty sheets aside, on the floor. "I just fucked you for two whole hours-" Dean pouts. "-seriously, get going." he nods and steps into his boots so he could make the famous walk of shame back home in the darkness, it had to be at least two in the morning- Bobby would kill him if he found out that he wasn't safe and sound in his own bed but instead next door at his step fathers. 

Dean falls into his bed, face first after having crawled back in through his bedroom window. He really couldn't wait until his birthday because then he would be legal and no one could tell him that his relationship with Castiel was wrong. Because it was _wrong,_ he knew it. So why did it feel so damn _good?_

In the morning he wakes up before Bobby and decides to surprise the guy by making breakfast. It was poor attempt at it because the eggs are a little over done and the bacon is slightly burnt, it didn't matter- he was starved after having _fun with Castiel_ only hours ago.

"Mornin' Bobby-" he mumbles when he hears the heavy footsteps of his uncle approaching. "Hungry?" Dean just about cracked a whole carton of eggs into a large sizzling frying pan. "Made plenty so bring your appetite." he turns around and brings the still popping pan up to Bobby's face and serves him on a plate.

"Get that away!" Bobby yells, pushing him and the popping hot pan away- "Tryna burn me or wut?" Dean shrugs, putting a few slices of bread in the toaster. "Why you so happy?" his uncle watches him move around the kitchen, the aura around him is light as air today. "You have sex or somethin'-"

The toaster ejects his toasted bread and he grabs it before sitting down at the table, "No why?"

"Nothin' makes a man more cheerful than when he's just gotten sum-" Bobby bites into the toast he stole off Dean's plate. "So, who gave ya sum?"

"Who in their right mind would have sex with me Bobby-" he says mindlessly, pleading with God himself to forbid his uncle from finding out.

He shrugs, "Suppose you're right."

"Hey!" he flicks a hot fork full of egg at the bearded man in self defense against that comment. "Take it back-" he says, another fork full of egg ready to be launched if he doesn't retract his statement.

"Alright-alright-" Bobby shields himself just in case, "You're an attractive kid, but ya don't need to be havin' sex-"

"I didn't have sex." Dean says, eating the eggs that were already on his fork. "I'm just in a good mood- that illegal?" his uncle shakes his head and the subject was changed onto cars- they made plans to head into town again since it was the weekend, nothing else to do but work. "Ready?" he says as he's the first one eating. Bobby nods and orders him to change into real clothes before heading out.

In no time Dean's dressed in jeans, as usual- a dark brown shirt, and a brown and red flannel with his signature brown work boots- the ones Castiel had gotten him after he tossed John's old ones. "Lookin' sharp-" his uncle comments while heading to the truck. Dean Winchester would never admit it but he liked being complimented. Any praise he was given was always very well received. 

When they arrive at O'Riley's Bobby orders him inside with a list of the things he needed- he stayed in the truck since his knee had been acting up again since waking up. Dean walks in, the door buzzes as it always had when someone entered.

"Hey-" Brady grins. "Thought you quit the-" he snorts in air through his nose as if it were coke, laughing.

Dean ignores him and heads over to grab the stuff on his list, as quick as possible. In the mean time, Brady is talking to him- he's ignoring the guy so in reality he's talking to himself. Eventually he comes up to the counter to pay for the items, with the two hundred dollar bills his uncle had given him along with the list.

Brady takes the cash and rings it all up, his light colored eyed peek up at Dean every once in a while. "Here you go-" he hands the younger teen the receipt. "Have a nice day." Dean stays put for a moment, thinking something over. "Don't tell me you wanna?" he wiggles his eyebrows.

Dean scoffs in disgust, "Not a chance, drugs are for losers-" and grabs his things then goes out to the truck. "Shit-" he puts his purchases in the truck's trunk before getting in. It had become a routine to visit the diner every time they went into town and this time was no different. 

"You okay?" Bobby asks once they've seated at their favorite booth and ordered lunch. "You been quiet-"

Dean shrugs, sipping on his milkshake. "Brady was there." Bobby nods, "There's never justice for anything bad that happens in this world-" he adds after a while of silent eating.

"Woah-" his uncle shoves a fry into his bearded mouth and mumbles, "That was dark, even for you boy-"

"Yea well-" he pops a fry into his mouth as well, "Life is dark Bobby, you're either a victim or a predator-"

Bobby squints under the bright lights of the diner, "You better not be thinkin' of takin' matters into your own hands-" the teen shrugs, dipping a fry into an abnormal amount of ketchup- his plate looked like it had blood smeared all over it. "Hey, listen- if you do anything to that kid, it ain't gonna solve nothin'-"

Dean takes another sip of his milkshake, "We'll see about that." Bobby watches him with eyes full of worry, they finish their food in silence and when the bill comes, he pays and they go home. Dean spends the rest of the day in his room doing who knows what, probably on that darn laptop Castiel got him. He already got his diploma in the mail, so it wasn't school work he was using it for now. 

The following day is normal enough or at least it starts off that way. Their previous conversation, the one that was had at the diner seemed to have been forgotten and the teen was his usual self- telling dirty jokes over the popped hood of an old pick up as they changed the oil. Bobby's landline rings and before going inside to answer the call he wipes his hands on a rag that was on top of the open toolbox by their feet. 

Dean finished changing the oil by himself, it's not until he slams the hood of the old pick up that he realizes- Bobby never came back. After wiping his hands on that same rag, he goes inside to investigate. He pushes the screen door open, his uncle is sitting at the table. "Dude-" he opens the fridge, grabbing a sports drink- Castiel made a fuss about him keeping his electrolytes in check. "-whats up?" he sits down next to his uncle. "Hello-Bobby?" he reaches his hand over to touch his shoulder, he looked to be in deep thought.

When his hand makes contact with his shoulder he finally snaps out of it, shaking his head, "What now boy-"

"Bobby-" he analyzes his uncle, "Who called-"

Bobby runs a hand down his face, "The hospital called-" and his first reaction is that maybe something happened to Castiel. "-they think they found his body-" his face is pale and it's freaking him out. _Whose body.._

"Bobby!" Dean hisses impatiently, needing to know the whole story right then and there. "Who!"

He takes a full minute to answer, "-your dad-"

Dean blinks stupidly before he bursts out laughing, he didn't believe it- thought it was some joke but his uncle wasn't laughing, only looks at him with his red eyes. He basically raised John Winchester- it what he was saying was true, he'd understand the look on his face.

Dean grows silent, "No way-" 

"They want me to come identify his body." he wipes his nose on the old handkerchief that had been balled up in his hand, "-gonna go to the morgue, have a look." Dean stands, "No, you shouldn't have to see em'- if it is him."

Of course Dean wouldn't take no for an answer, they fought for twenty minutes about it until his uncle caved and unlocked the door to his truck- they both needed to see for themselves. Bobby was in denial, so was Dean. The drive to the hospital is surreal, it passes by in a dream like state- maybe it was a dream, they hope so. When they arrive, Bobby calls ahead of time- someone in a suit comes outside the hospital doors to escort them to the body.

They're standing, side by side in the cold room- staring at a body covered by a thick sheet. "Ready?" the man asks and they both nod. The pall peels the sheet off the body, not completely, just down to his navel. It was him after all, _John Winchester.._

Dean looks like he had just seen a ghost- the ghost of his own father.

 _Dead_.. _cold.. pale.._

Dean starts biting the skin on the edge of his thumb, his eyes wide, just starting at his dead father, not knowing what to think. Before he _can_ think, he reaches over and slaps the cold chest of his father, he sucks in a breath- he was ice cold. No one knew why he did that, he didn't either. "Dean-" Bobby says, "We saw em'- we can go home-"

Dean poked his arm next and the weirdest sound came out of his mouth- the kind of sound one would make after touching something gross. "Dad-" he asks the corpse. "John!" he yells. "John!" the man in the suit and his uncle restrain him- they didn't want him to touch _him_ anymore.

"Dean-" Bobby whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek- the look on Dean's face is the most frightening part of this. "Let's go home-" he says again. Dean's eyes won't leave his fathers body, it scares them so much that the man has to cover him back up. That's when Dean blinks, snapping out of the spell he found himself under. 

Dean clears his throat, "What happened to him- how'd he die-" it all sounds so weird coming out of his mouth. He thought John would be around to make his life a living hell and if not, that his existence would have him looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

The man doesn't respond, simply beckons them to follow- leading the way to the doctor who had been treating him for the last few days. "Hello, are you John Winchester's family?" a doctor in a white lab coat asks them, they nod. "-he was found in a parking lot, someone called 911 because he was sleeping in his car-"

"He wasn't sleepin' was he-" Bobby says, one arm around his boy.

"He was still alive, just barely thoough. He overdosed on several things- I don't know if he took to much-" he makes a face like he didn't want to say the amount of drugs that were in his system. "-or if he was trying to commit suicide." Bobby nods, Dean just looks out of it. "The paramedics who found him, administered Naloxone or typically refered to as Narcan-" Dean asks what that is, "It's used to treat a drug overdose, it's a nasal spray that can be used in emergencies." Dean nods, his arms wrapped around himself in a pathetic hug.

It's silent for a moment and the doctor asks, "Any more questions?" Bobby and Dean look at each other before saying no. "I'm sorry for your loss-" he gives Dean a look of compassion, "It's not easy losing a parent-"

Dean resists the urge to snort, "What happens now?" 

"That man over there-" he looks behind them, to the stranger in the suit who showed them the body. "He will answer all your questions about what's next- I'm sorry." he gives them a sad smile before returning to work. The stranger in the suit gives them all the information- the seconds, the minutes- they pass by in a blur. All Dean remembers is that they chose to have his father cremated since it was cheaper than a getting a casket. 

They're about to leave the hospital when they run into Castiel, who had been working and had no idea of the days events. As soon as he saw Castiel, Dean ran towards him and tried to tell him what happened to his father but the tears wouldn't let him- his sobs broke him and he fell to his knees right in front of his step dad. 

Castiel looks up at Bobby, who shrugs- he couldn't speak even if he tried. "Dean-" he pulls the hysterical teen off his knees, "Come on-" he holds him up and helps him along, to one of the empty hospital rooms. "What's going on-" he looks at Bobby again, "Did he get sick?" his voice is full of worry. "Is that why you're both here?"

Dean is still inconsolable, Castiel helps him onto the hospital bed and cradles him like a baby because- he's got no other choice. 

"John, he uh-" Bobby wipes his nose with a tissue from a nearby dispenser, "-he died."

Castiel has the same reaction Dean had earlier, he laughs. 

"-John died!" Bobby yells and it cuts the laughter instantly.

"You can't be serious-" Castiel looks down at the boy in his arms, then at Bobby. "-you're serious." he nods. "I-I don't know what to say."

It takes Dean half an hour to calm down and stop crying, now looking weak and tired. "I'm gunna take em' home- I'll call you later, tell ya when the ceremony is. We agreed on somethin' small- not like we had much family anyway." Castiel nods, still dumbfounded by this sudden news. He doesn't know how to feel about it yet. Bobby takes Dean home and Castiel stays at the hospital, working- the rest of his day passes by in a strange haze. He doesn't even remember driving home that night.

Being home with Bobby all day had been depressing, so he walks up the road to visit Castiel since he should be home by now. He raises his fist to knock on the door before he hears it- the crying. "Cas?" Dean opens the door slowly, walking in. Castiel was on the couch, with his head between his hands- sobbing. Dean swallows because he's never really seen him break like this. "Cas-" 

Castiel doesn't look up, "Go home." he orders.

Dean walks closer, "Cas please. I need you-"

"It's my fault-" Castiel whispers, "It's my fault he's dead-"

Dean sits next to him on the couch, wrapping an arm around the sobbing man. He feels calmer, now that the news has sunk in. "-how's it your fault?" he asks in a whisper because he's scared- he's scared that his father might pop up some day, and it would all have been a joke. He wishes that were true, but it's not. He really is gone, he won't bother him ever again and he will never have to look over his shoulder for his sudden return. He's _free,_ and yet his chest feels tight- like he's drowning. No matter how terrible of a father he had been, Dean is holding on to the one sliver of a good memory he's got- the occasional pack of plastic army men his father would give him. It's enough for him to _grieve._

He had been so into his own thoughts he wasn't listening to Castiel's mutterings, "-maybe if I was better fuck-he wouldn't have left us in the first place-he wouldn't have felt so alone and desperate-God, I said I hated him the last time I saw him. I said he was disgusting-" 

Dean's just now noticing the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table- he's _drunk._ "Cas-" he shuts his eyes, not liking the mental picture of him and his father- fucking, though he knew they did before anything happened between them. "I'll help you into bed, yea?" he's breaking himself, but he's got to be strong for Castiel- at least this once. Castiel has carried him through so much, now it's his turn- even if it's just for tonight. "Come on-" he helps the drunk man up and guides him carefully to the bed in his room- which he collapses on instantly- his blue eyes stare hopelessly at the ceiling.

He's gotta ask, "-thought you didn't love him?" he's a little jealous but shoves it aside for now. 

Castiel blinks, a new tear rolls down his reddened face. "-in the beginning, I sort of did- before I knew he was-" he glances at Dean, "-you know." Dean nods. "I don't even know why I'm crying-" he groans, wiping his tears on the back of his hand. "-I think he's going to pop up-one day- freak us all out." 

Dean smiles sadly, "-I was thinking that to, that maybe when we least expect it- he'll come find us- ask us for money- or-" he starts ugly crying again, "-steal from us-" 

"Come here-" Castiel pulls him into bed and they share a good cry, together. They let it all out that night- they don't know if they're crying over John's passing, or if- they're just letting out all the pain they've felt the last few years. _Maybe it was_ both..

Eventually Bobby calls, so he ends up walking Dean back home- when the door opens- the three of them share a hug and cry once more. Castiel doesn't go home after that, he stays with his _family._ The night quickly ends up turning into a somber party of three, they share stories about John. Most were bad, but it didn't matter. Some Jack Daniels was spilled for the guy on the front porch.

"Yeah, that's how we met-" Castiel sighs over his cup of coffee- Bobby wouldn't let him drink any more than he had already. "-started some bar fight, ended up in the ER where I was working-I thought he was-" he pauses for a second. "-different."

"How so?" Bobby asks, nursing his one and only beer- he didn't want to get drunk because he had to keep an eye on his boy. Now more than ever. 

"-he seemed like a good guy at first." he laughs, "Then most narcissists do-"

"What's a narcissist?" Dean asks, he himself was also drinking coffee since he wasn't allowed alcohol.

"-a person whose life revolves around themselves, they don't care who they hurt-" he pauses, "-he was selfish." and then he feels guilty for the words he just said. "Forget I said that-" he shakes his head. "I shouldn't talk about him like that, especially now-"

When there was nothing left to say about John Winchester they called it a night. Castiel slept on the couch, Bobby and Dean slept in their rooms. They don't wake until the next evening, having slept all day- they didn't care. They were going through something, but they were doing it together. Castiel has the week off, each of them cry on and off through out the days for no reason. They each pick at the food on their plates and stare at the ceiling when it's time to sleep again.

Eventually the day comes to lay John Winchester to rest. The three of them sat in the living room- wearing black, late one morning. Dean held the ashes on his lap.

The two adults ask Dean to say something.

After a minute Dean says, "-goodbye-" that's it, that's all he said before he stands- clutching the urn against his chest. "-let's get this over with." they pile into Bobby's truck and drive an hour away to a spot that John Winchester liked to go hunting in. They're standing in a small circle of three in the middle of a wooded area, "-can I just dump him?" he says impatiently. 

Castiel nods, Bobby too.

Dean opens the urn, handing the lid to Bobby before he slowly pours his fathers ashes on the earth. Some of John stays where he's poured, the rest of him floats in the air- carried away by a soft breeze until John Winchester disappears into nothing. Dean shivers, Castiel and Bobby do too. "-all done-" Dean wipes off his hands on his black slacks, he really hated dress pants. They made him feel- well, they made him feel like Castiel. "-let's go!" he walks towards the truck that was parked off in the distance. They follow him. 

The drive back felt strange, as usual they stop at the diner for a quick bite- they didn't feel like cooking. When they're seated Robin comes over to take their orders, "Sorry about your dad-" she says, looking at Dean.

Dean doesn't respond to her apology, he just orders. "I want-" he makes a kissy face, while looking at the menu. "A double cheese burger and fries-" Robin nods, "-and a coke." she nods again, taking their orders and leaving them be.

Dean grins, "How about we have a little fire when we get back- roast some marshmallows-" 

"Dean, no." Castiel says, feeling uncomfortable. Bobby felt it too.

"Just cause he's dead doesn't mean we are-" he shrugs, "Fuck it."

"Dean!" Castiel hisses in anger, it scares them all. Some of the customers in the diner were now looking their way. "Stop. Whatever this is, stop it-"

Dean nods, staying silent all through out their meal.

Back at home, things aren't any better- the vibe- the aura, whatever you want to call it- feels strange, the home feels emptier somehow- darker in a way, even with all the lights on. The air is heavy and musky, they hadn't noticed it before. Dean feels sad and bored- Bobby won't let him work on anything out back yet- just tells him to go inside, relax in the air conditioning. Tells him to watch some television, read a comic, something. The heaviness in the home has them both turning in for bed before the suns even set. 

Dean falls asleep quickly, the only reason he awoke was because he felt something weird. His eyes open and he notices something standing in the corner of his room- " _Dad.."_ whispers, the figure comes closer, _"No-_ " and closer, until it lunges itself at him in the darkness. " _No don't take me!"_

He thought he had been awake before, but the fright had shaken him from whatever he had just experienced- he's panting- "Bobby!" he yells. It takes his uncle less than a minute to come barging in, worried. "-he-he was here-Bobby-" he trembles, hugging himself. "- I saw him."

Bobby sits on the edge of his bed, "Not possible bud-" and he keeps the teen company for a while until he's calmed down, that's when he gets up to go back to bed.

Dean pulls on his arm, "Don't leave-" he looks around the room nervously. "Can you sleep in here-" Bobby nods before getting into the other side of the bed, instantly falling asleep, leaving him awake- alone. All he wanted was _Cas.._ but his uncle would have to do for now. 

Eventually when he's unable to sleep any longer, Dean dresses in the dark- his eyes peeking over at his sleeping uncle every now and then to make sure he's still out like a light. He grabs his boots and laces them up by the front door- then he takes the keys to the truck and heads out. The sun is barely rising in the horizon- the sky was a peachy pink color. It was nice, he thought as he quietly let himself into the vehicle.

He started the truck and waited a minute, watching out for Bobby- see if he heard the engine roar to life. Once the coast is clear he drives down the dirt road- passing Castiel's place- his car wasn't there, probably at the hospital by now. 

Dean drives aimlessly for who know how long, he contemplates going to see Robin at work- maybe talk to her for a while- cry on her shoulder. _Nah.._ he heads for O'Riley's, deciding last minute that he wanted to see Brady. 

The door buzzes when he walks in, Brady looks up at him. "Well, look what the cat dragged in-" he's completely unaware that Dean's just lost his father. "Dude- get what you need and go-" he says after Dean just stares at him for a whole minute, without blinking. The door buzzes again, a customer walked in. "Welcome-" he tells the customer.

"So you didn't get jail time-" Dean smiles, leaning forward on the counter, way too close to Brady- he looked scared. _Good._ "That's a damn shame." Dean looks down at his fingernails casually, as if he was checking the manicure he never got- or never has gotten. "Brady-" he whispers, "I always hated that friggin' smile on your face-"

"Huh-" he looks confused, suddenly he's grabbed by the collar and punched in the nose by Dean Winchester, _Again._ "The fuck!" he groans, tipping his head back as if that alone would stop the bleeding. 

"I- can't- stand- you-" Dean spits out, pausing after saying each word. He's usually not this psychotic, but he's grieving- and he really hates this guy. _Why not beat him up._ Dean jumps over the counter, he really just wants to let all his anger out on someone, who better than Brady. "-Fuck- you!" he's got the guy by the collar, his fist repeatedly making contact with the bloody face over and over again until the customer that had walked in previously, comes over and restrains him. The dude had to be at least three hundred pounds, and six feet tall. "Let go! He deserves it-"

"Calm down!" the large man says, "Are you gonna calm down or do I need to call the cops?" he says in Dean's ear, it disgusts him- he nods, just to make him let go. He releases the angry teenager, "Leave-" he points to the door. "I mean it, go home kid."

Dean rubs the knot on the back of his neck, where the guy held him- it burned. "Fine-" he spits on the floor before leaving. He gets in the truck, and punches the steering wheel once- then he goes to the diner. 

As soon as he walks in, Robin is on him like a hawk- _what happened! why are your hands bleeding? Dean, talk to me!_ \- but he doesn't respond, he's in a daze. He still feels so weird. So _off.._ and _distant.._

Eventually Robin leads him to the employee bathroom where she runs his hands under cold water, he hisses at the burn. "Who'd you fight?" she asks, knowingly. "Was it that Brady guy?" he nods, "Dean!" she scolds him, it has no affect on him though, not right now. "You better stop getting into trouble, you've already been arrested once- next time you won't be so lucky."

Dean nods, "Yea-" he grabs way too many of paper towels to dry his hands off with, then his face. "Nothing matters anyway- if I get arrested, whatever-"

Robin frowns, "I'm worried about you-"

Dean steps closer to her, his hand cups her face gently. "I'm fine sweetheart." he winks and kisses her forehead before leaving the bathroom. Robin follows him a minute later, by then he's gone. 

When Dean arrives at Bobby's - he's pissed- yelling at him for taking the truck without telling him, without asking- yelling at him for who knows what else, he wasn't listening. Though he realized in the midst of his uncles wrath, he didn't know about Brady yet- the news would come soon though, people in this town have nothing better to do other than eat and gossip about everyone else. "Go to your room-" he says eventually.

Dean nods and goes, at night Castiel comes to talk with him. Bobby told him about the incident- the truck stealing and Brady. The news did travel pretty fast, Bobby knew within the hour- Brady's mother called him since they met at church a few times- and that just made Dean laugh because he had gone home to mommy, crying. Then he hated him all over again, for not just having a _mommy but a daddy too._

Castiel yells at him as well and he just lets them both have it until they tire themselves out and eventually, they do. "Do you understand me?" Castiel says, Dean nods from where he sits on the couch. "No more fighting-" he nods again. "Alright then-" Castiel shakes his head, "Better get some sleep before work tomorrow. Dean rolls his eyes because all the man does these days is _work._

_~_

It's early August. Two weeks after Dean's father died.

The days aren't so hot and humid, the sky is still blue on the days that it doesn't rain and luckily today was one of them. The trees are growing bare, slowly drying up and the leaves are now on the ground.

Dean was outside raking them up, mostly just getting them out of the way so he could start cutting the yellowing grass. He's been outdoors, doing this task for about thirty minutes when he hears Bobby calling his name from inside the house. At least that's where he thinks it's coming from. "Yea!" he calls back, his uncle calls out to him again, saying his name- _Dean.._ and nothing else. "Coming!"

He tosses the rake randomly over the pile of leaves he just made, they fly up in the air a few inches but he doesn't care. He'll rake them up again when he comes back. "Yea?" he walks in, looking around for his uncle. _Dean._ "Bobby, where the hell are you-" he hears his voice calling from out back, probably needed his help with a car. He pushes open the back screen door, no sign of his uncle. "Bobby?" he asks. 

_Dean.._

Goosebumps appear all over his arms, underneath his flannel, he can't possibly be cold. "Bobby-" he says, a little quieter as he rounds the old house- ending up out front where he had been raking leaves. Bobby's truck was gone, he'd forgotten that he'd left on a grocery run. "Who the-" his eyes start scanning the property, by the fence, by the old shed off in the distance. 

_Nothing..No one is there._

"Shit-" Dean shakes his head, huffing a laugh. "Losin' my damn mind." he walks over to the pile of leaves and picks up the rake, resuming his task. It's quite peaceful at the moment, nothing but the occasional howl of the wind can be heard. Dean.. this time his neck snaps up that instant, knowing he didn't imagine what he heard before. This time it came from down the road he assumes, given how far away the voice sounded. _Dean.._

He tosses the rake on the pile of dry leaves again and runs up to the fence, looking around and seeing nothing until he looks down the road- by Castiel's place. "Cas!" he shouts, the creepiest sensation floods his veins- it's not Castiel. 

_Dean.._

He freezes up, it's not possible, John was standing there in the middle of the road- where he had shot him weeks ago. Dean's eyes are wide and frightened, "No!" is all he says, "No! No! No!" he covers his mouth in terror. He can't move, he's in the middle of a face off with John Winchester. He doesn't know how long he stands there staring at his father, until Bobby drives up the road- right through him and he disappears. Bobby stops the truck right in front of Dean and beeps the horn, a cue for him to get out of the road and steps aside, letting the truck pass. He follows closely behind the vehicle.

Once he passes the fence, he feels safe. Bobby steps out of the truck and looks him up and down, "Ya seen a ghost or wut- you know I was just kiddin' about the baby cryin' in those woods right-"

Dean nods, hot tears spilling from his eyes- his uncle steps closer, putting his hands on his shoulders. "Tell me what's goin' on with you boy-"

"Bobby he was there-" he wipes his face on the sleeve of his shirt, "-my dad." he clarifies when he was met with confusion. He shakes his head, "-I know it's not-I mean, I know he's not-"

Bobby pulls him in for a tight hug, "Don't worry bout' it-" Dean melts into his arms. "It's hard on all of us-" 

"I don't wanna be seein' him-" Dean sobs against the bear of a man. "He-he was calling my name-" Bobby shakes his head. "Don't want him haunting me-"

That night Bobby's in the middle of his dinner when he hears his name being called, "Wut!" he shouts, over his bowl of steaming hot chili. He gets up to see what Dean wants.

 _Bobby.._ He opens the door and Dean's there with his bowl of chili, "Wut do you want?" Dean takes off his headphones, he was listening to music. "You were callin' my name-" 

Dean makes a face that clearly means- I told you so. "Eee- you see Bobby-somethin's out there-" he sits up, putting his bowl of half eaten chili on the bedside table.

"I don't believe in any of that bull crap-" _Bobby.._ they both hear it at the same time. "Balls-" a chill runs down his back. "I'm callin' pastor Jim-" he exits the room and goes straight for the landline in the kitchen, the teenager follows him. 

"How in the hell is he going to get rid of dad's ghost?" he crosses his arms, this whole thing felt stupid. Surely there was no ghost, just a reasonable explanation, like guilt or something. "What's he gonna do-"

His uncle has the phone to his ear, waiting for his pastor Jimto answer his call. "He can pray for us, that's wut-" Dean rolls his eyes and it earns him a smack to the head. "Quiet boy-" the man on the other end of the line answers, now they talk for almost an hour while Dean goes to visit Castiel. It was around eight in the evening, he should be home by now.

He makes the short walk over, he basically ran the whole way- he was a bit jumpy after this afternoon. "Cas-" Dean opens the door, letting himself in. "Good you're here-" Castiel was at the kitchen table, eating a hamburger. He sits down too and smiles, "Thought you didn't like fast food-"

Castiel chuckles. "I worked all day." he takes another bite, "Why are you here?"

Dean's a little hurt by the question but blows right past it, he sighs because he knows this will sound stupid. "-I saw dad today."

"You know he's dead, right?" Dean nods. "Ghosts aren't real-" 

"Oh yea-" Dean leans over the table, "-then why did I see him right outside your house?" Castiel gulps, "Yea, in the middle of the road- he was callin' my name-"

Castiel starts laughing, thinking this was some prank. "You got me-"

"I'm serious, Bobby heard it too- he's on the phone with pastor Jim."

"Seriously?" he resists the urge to laugh once again. "Well, I think there's a psychological reason behind all this. Maybe you're-"

"Maybe I'm crazy?" Dean says.

"You're mourning baby-" he leans over and grabs the teens hand so he can kiss it. "We all are." 

"But he wasn't even good to us-" 

"I'm aware of that, but we never know how someone's death will affect us, he _was_ your father." 

Dean shrugs, "I better go, didn't bring my cell and knowing Bobby he'll come over and drag me home." he gets up and gives the older man a quick kiss before leaving. 

Castiel finishes his burger in silence, after cleaning up the table and doing a few chores around the house he comes to realize he's forgotten his cell phone in the car so he goes out to grab it real quick. _Cas.._ He's about to tear the kid a new one, thinking he didn't go home yet- "I thought you went-" he turns around, Dean's not there. Castiel shakes his head and fetches his phone, he's not afraid just yet. _Cas.._

"You're not funny, go home-" he says to the darkness, "Dean?" his eyes scan the area carefully in hopes of catching the teenager playing a prank on him but he's nowhere to be seen. "I need sleep-" he mumbles to the night. "-or coffee."

He's walking up the porch steps when he sees someone walking by the small window that was on the door, "Whose in there!" he yells, anger consuming him at the thought of an intruder in his home. "I have a gun-" he says when he steps inside, it's a lie- Bobby's the one with the guns, though it couldn't hurt to use the threat as an intimidation tactic. "I'm calling the police-" he lies again, he wasn't going to call.

After he investigates each room in the house, he's now regretting having rented the large old home and is fondly missing living at Bobby's, because there's strength in numbers, three under one roof is better than one. Once he's sure the coast is clear he locks up the front door, back door and double checks that all the windows are closed. He didn't consider what Dean had said earlier, he'd already forgotten about that in his haste to finish his meal. 

He sleeps peacefully that night, no one came to murder him in his sleep. There were no creaks in the floorboards and there was no ghost howling in misery through the house while he slept. Everything was normal, so normal in fact that by the time he woke up he forgot all about seeing the shadow in his home the night before. It was his day off, he showered and before making it to the kitchen he smelled something. _Fresh coffee._ Castiel hadn't made any yet, he stares at the full mug of coffee that sits on the kitchen table-steam rising from the dark liquid. It wasn't just fresh coffee, it was piping hot- the way _John_ liked his coffee.

John Winchester liked his coffee so dark and strong that it resembled molasses. An eerie feeling rose in the air, there was also odd smell that wasn't there before- like burnt firewood, that toxic heavy smell. Castiel coughs at the aroma, he grabs the mug and pours it down the kitchen sink- watching the dark liquid seep into the drain, now wishing he was working today becaause he doesn't want to spend the whole day cooped up in here.

After an hour of reading on the couch, he puts on his running shoes and jogs down the road to see Dean. Bobby saw him from the window and waved him in. "What are ya doin' here so early-" he asks over his breakfast.

"Nothing-" he's looking around for the teenager, "Where's Dean?"

"He's in here somewhere-" 

Castiel nods and goes to find him, "Dean-" he calls, the teen responds from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth. The door was wide open so he approaches, "Morning sunshine-" he smiles.

"Whats up?" he spits into the sink, putting his toothbrush away. 

"I believe you-" Castiel's brows knit together in his own confusion, "I mean, I heard someone calling my name. Honestly I thought you were trying to pull a prank on me-until I saw someone in my house. At least I think I did-"

"No friggin' shit-" 

Castiel follows Dean to the kitchen, "Bobby, Cas saw dad last night-he heard-"

"I thought I saw someone-" Dean ignores his input while he speaks to his uncle about the mystery that was now happening to the three of them. "We're all just grieving-" Castiel says once again when Bobby and Dean won't stop speaking in hushed tones as they try to figure this all out. "You know what, I'm going home-" he gets up from the table and leaves without them noticing, they were so wrapped up in talking about his fathers ghost which he still didn't really believe just yet. Castiel Novak was a skeptic.

When he lets himself inside, that smell is stronger that it had been. He's a rational guy, his first thought isn't to think ghost, or demon- blah blah blah, so he looks through the house, thinking maybe a rat had died somewhere- maybe he had mold. Maybe something was rotting somewhere. But where? he kept a clean home, it didn't even smell like this before he moved in. It had to be something _new,_ from last night. 

While he' investigating the rancid aroma wafting through his home he does happen to see a mouse, but it's living and breathing and it scurries away the moment it sees Castiel. There's a knock at the door, maybe it's Dean. He goes to open the front door, no one is there- he steps outside and again scans the property, making his way around the large home to see if anyone could be hiding out there, somewhere. "Hello-" he says, not finding a single living soul around the place.

A rumbling in the sky makes him look up, the sky wasn't blue today, Castiel goes back inside before it starts to pour, locking the door- still peeking through the small window of the front door for someone, anyone, but all he sees is the rain coming down in sheets hitting his porch steps.

He decides to chalk it up to working long days and leaves it at that- he almost misses it on his way down the hall, something was on the kitchen table.

Castiel steps cautiously towards it, the same mug was on the table- filled to the brim with black liquid and steaming hot. _Fresh_ coffee.."You can't be here-" he whispers, fully aware that he's talking to no one but possibly the ghost of his former lover and Dean's father. "-you're dead."


	48. In the Dark

"Dean-" Castiel calls to him, looking ahead. "Hurry up-" 

"Yea-" Dean huffs, following his step father as they walk through the trees.

They were visiting the place where they laid John Winchester to rest, it wasn't their idea but Pastor Jim insisted they go back and say a few words. They agreed to make the trip out here in hopes that after doing this, their subconscious might stop playing tricks on them.

Dean and Bobby thought they were being haunted by John Winchester and they mentioned it to Pastor Jim when he stopped by for coffee- they were assured it was just in their heads, that grief makes people experience all sorts of things. Dean couldn't resist the urge to snort at the mans logic. 

"Hurry up!" Castiel calls back to him again, Dean was falling way behind. He stops walking, hands on his hips, waiting for the teen to catch up. "-told you not to wear those boots out here."

"Yea yea-" Dean eventually catches up, panting. "-let's get this shit over with-"

"Show some respect-" Castiel continues leading the path, Dean nods. The point of this was to say something nice, cry it out maybe, not to be disrespectful and rude over his dad's ashes which were most likely already absorbed back into the earth. Dean couldn't wrap his mind around that, one day you're living and breathing, you're flesh and the next- you're just _dust_ and off you go. Back into the earth's soil, the circle of life.

He waits for the teenager to catch his breath which is strange since they were just walking. "You okay?" he asks and it dawns on him, "-damn it, I forgot to give you-"

Dean nods, "Yea, for two weeks now-" finally he catches his breath and stands up straight. "Let's just keep walking." Castiel promises him that as soon as they get back, he'll give him the injection. He internally curses himself for forgetting something so important as Dean's health. John's death has impacted him more than he'd like to admit, though Dean seemed to be taking it pretty well- aside from beating up Brady and a few other angry outbursts.

They arrive at the clearing where Dean dumped the ashes, where the wind had carried the rest of him. Standing side by side, Dean speaks first.

"I-" he pauses, thinking of what to say. Castiel doesn't rush him, he waits patiently at his side. Bobby hadn't come so he was able to wrap an arm around the boy's shoulder. 

After seeing the mental struggle he's going through, Castiel says, "Take your time baby." 

"I-damn it." Dean's voice cracks but continues anyway. "Always felt like I grew up without a father-" Castiel doesn't have time to get offended because Dean then says, "-but thanks to the man standing next to me-" he holds Castiel's hand, "-I grew up having the best dad I could ask for, actually he's more than that." he pauses, "For a long time I thought I was missin' out because you weren't here or because of- the things that happened between us." he gives Castiel's hand a hard squeeze. "Turns out I wasn't missin' nothing, I have my dad right here and he's never left me. He's loved me as his own even before you ever left me." 

Castiel wipes the tear that falls from the corner of his eye.

"That's all-" Dean says, "I'm done." he looks up at him.

Castiel nods, pulling him in for a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Now it's his turn to say something. "John, I'm sorry." then he shrugs, "I don't have anything else to say." 

They slowly walk back to Castiel's car, hand in hand. Before reaching the car they do stop by a pretty tree with red leaves and take a picture together, it wasn't appropriate given the reason of their visit to the place but neither of them intended to come back here. They just hope they can lay the memory of John Winchester to rest along with his ashes, they don't want to see him in this life or the next. 

They follow their usual routine and stop by the diner, Dean seems more free after the final words he directed at his father. They both know John couldn't hear them, but it was purely symbolic. Pastor Jim had said they needed it and by the looks of it he had been right. _So far._

"Hey sweetheart." Dean beams at her when she comes by to take their orders, "Usual for us, thanks." she nods and heads to the kitchen.

"I like seeing you smile." Castiel says, mixing cream and sugar into the coffee Robin had brought him. 

"It was nice to get that off my chest-" Dean sighs, smiling. His food is placed in front of him and they eat while sharing a few laughs, when they've finished their meal they continue talking at their booth for a good long while. The air feels light and cool, no heaviness to it at all. They too felt as light as air, little did they know it was only because they were miles away from _home._

Castiel stopped his car by Bobby's fence so Dean could go in after their day together- soon realizing the truck isn't parked out front. "He's not home-" Dean says, "I don't have a key-" Castiel shrugs and drives up to his place instead, Dean could wait for Bobby here. Any time they could spend together was welcomed. "Bobby didn't tell me he was goin' out."

"Don't worry about him, he's always fine." Castiel unlocks the front door of his house, once they step in they both gag simultaneously.

"What the fuck is that-" Dean pulls up his shirt to cover his nose, "Dude, somethin' died in here." They both look through the house, unsuspecting of any foul play, not even thinking of John Winchester at all. "You need a scented candle or somethin'-" 

"Yeah, why don't we go get one-" Castiel waves him over to the door with his car keys in hand, not wanting to spend another minute in the house.

They drive back into town and head for a Wal-Mart and spend way too much time looking and smelling different candles in the home goods aisle.

"How about this one?" he asks the indecisive teenager who shakes his head after taking a whiff of something called Lemon Pound Cake. "Then you choose one-" he puts Lemon Pound Cake back on the shelf and lets the boy decide.

Dean picks up a red one and takes a whiff. "This one smells like roses, get this one-" Castiel nods and grabs a few more of the same candle. They waste time looking around through all the aisles because they don't want to go home yet. Eventually they get bored so they pay for their things and make the drive back home. Bobby's truck still wasn't there so they go straight to Castiel's place, they wait outside on the porch a while.

They stay put until the sun starts to go down and the mosquitoes come out to play. After walking inside the horrible smell still lingers, they light one of the scented candles in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in the bathroom. They give it an hour and the scent of Roses does a poor job at attempting to mask the rotting smell.

"Didn't smell like this in here before-" Dean waves a hand in the air while they sit on the couch, half watching the television and half fooling around. Castiel agrees and soon enough they're back to making out like school kids. At some point their shirts come off, pants are next but Dean's phone rings. _Bobby._ "Bobby where the hell have you been?" he speaks into the phone, sitting up. "-alright be home soon, bye." 

"What did he say?" Castiel sits up as well, pulling on his shirt and handing the boy his. 

"Said he was in town on a job-" Dean pulls on his shirt, "-but I'm sure he was with that secret girlfriend he's got." Castiel nods, completely rock hard in his pants and disappointed. He was hoping to get lucky today. "So the candles were a bust-" he says, looking at the one on the coffee table. Dean was also rock hard, but the bad smell in the house was killing the mood, at least for Dean but Castiel was ready to go.

"Think I should call the landlord?" he asks, changing the subject since he's not getting laid anyway. Dean nods, "I'll call in the morning-" the digital clock on the bookshelf read **9:33** **P.M.**

Dean's still on his phone, looking through his phone when Castiel leans in again to kiss his neck. "What are you doin'- gotta go soon-" the man doesn't reply, just keeps kissing, eventually giving his neck a soft bite. Dean moans, "Ugh fuck-" he pushes Castiel back, "Seriously, don't start what you can't finish."

"That a challenge baby?" his large hand already palming the teenagers crotch, he moans in response. "I'll have you coming in my mouth before Bobby even makes it back-" Castiel unbuttons Dean's jeans, pulling out his cock. He gets to work, sucking, taking him deep in his mouth. 

Dean's eye's are squeezed shut in pleasure, his hips keep bucking upwards involuntarily into the older man's mouth. "Ugh fuck-fuck-shit-" he keeps moaning, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "Mmm-" he whines.

Castiel lets him slip out for a few seconds to say, "It's okay baby, come for me-" Dean nods eagerly before he starts to shoot down his throat. Even after his orgasm Castiel doesn't stop milking him with his hand, "Got any more for me?"

Dean bites his lip harder, "Ah-ah-Cas- fuck-" he begins to squirm on the couch until he's no longer sensitive, Castiel keeps milking him for more. "Stop-" he whines, begging. "Pleeease, stop!" he moans- another orgasm begins to build again, low in his stomach and that'ts when he stops begging for him to stop. "Mmmph-" he whines, desperately wanting to come yet again, he keeps trying to come but he can't. _Not yet._ "Fucking make me come-" he begs, "Make me come, make me come- aw fuck-" he cries.

"You're so fucking cute baby-begging me like that-God." While he milks Dean, he presses soft kisses to his silky smooth thighs. 

"Cas-" Dean begs, "Please-" he licks his dry lips, rolling his hips in tandem with the hand that is working him over. "Make me come-please-ugh-" Castiel pushes his legs open while still milking him and goes from pressing kisses to his thigh to now pressing soft wet tender kisses to his hole. "Mmmmmmph-" he cries louder, "Shiiii-" he comes all over his bare stomach, even getting it all over his shirt- thick white ropes shoot out of him as his second orgasm hits. He's now a twitching mess, his hand is gripping the couch pillow behind his head. "Fuck." 

"Good boy." Castiel hovers over him now, pressing a kiss to his jawline before getting up to grab a towel to clean him up with. Dean lays there spent, unable to move just yet when he returns to clean him up. He blushes over his step dad fussing over him, he always did. "You okay?" he asks, realizing that he's just looking up at the ceiling without blinking very often.

Dean nods, "Yea-" he smiles, "Um-" he looks down at his messy shirt, "Got anything that would fit me?" Castiel nods and goes to his room to fetch something out of his closet, when he returns he hands the teenager a a simple dark blue shirt. Not his style, but it would have to do. 

"I'll wash this for you." Castiel rolls up the dirty shirt and holds onto it while Dean gets up and walks to the door, "I love you-" he says somberly, "I miss you-"

Dean smiles awkwardly with a short laugh,"You know, I miss living with you too-" they're about to hug when Bobby's truck stops in the middle of the road, honking at him. "Gotta go-" Dean smiles before running up to the truck, he could walk the short distance home but his legs are complete jelly at the moment. "Bye!" Dean shouts once he's inside the vehicle and waves through the open window.

Castiel waves back, the sad look is still on his face as he watches the truck drive away before going inside- as soon as he does he notices the smell is worse than ever. He doesn't have a basement like Bobby does, so nothing down there could be the culprit. There's no attic either. He seriously contemplates having pastor Jim come by and blessing the place- that's a good idea, he'll have to call and ask Bobby for the number. Castiel has no clue what happened in this house before he moved in, maybe it was haunted, maybe it was John. It didn't matter, he needed to take a quick shower.

Right as he puts on a pot of water on the stove for the pasta he plans on making for dinner, his phone rings and he answers it.

"Bobby, I was just thinking about calling you-" he turns the dial on the stove towards high. "What's wrong with him?" apparently he called so that he could come deal with Dean, he hadn't wanted to eat dinner and was complaining that his stomach hurt. "I'll be right over-" he sighs, turning the dial on the stove towards off. 

After making the short journey over to Bobby's, he sees the bearded man outside on the front porch. "He's in his room-" He nods and goes inside, towards the teenagers room. "Dean-" he opens the bedroom door, "Bobby says you're not feeling well-" 

"My stomach hurts." 

Castiel sits on the edge of the bed, and smiles. Dean Winchester is almost eighteen years old, yet he still needs him and that makes him happy. "Where does it hurt?" Dean rubs all over his stomach so he can't tell so he takes matters into his own hands and begins to feel around his stomach for any painful areas. "Does it hurt here?" he presses right around where his appendix would be, Dean shakes his head. "How about here?" he presses where his gallbladder would be and Dean shakes his head again. "Maybe it's just gas-" Dean kicks him away playfully for saying that. "I'll be right back." 

Castiel comes back a few minutes later with a glass of lemon water, "Drink this and then I want you to eat something." Dean nods and he gulps it all down. "Before I forget-" he pulls out the ever so familiar injection. "I'm sorry I forgot about the last two weeks-" he sits down and administers the injection, this time it did hurt a little. "Don't be a baby-" he puts a band aid on the teens bicep.

"That one hurt-" he pulls his sleeve down. "I'm hungry, stay for dinner?" his eyes are so innocent and pure that he just can't say no. Besides, he wasn't in the mood for pasta anyway. "We're gonna grill some burgers out front-" 

Castiel stops him before Dean can leave the room, "Was your stomach really hurting?" he asks seriously. "Or did you just want me to come over?" 

"Little bit of both-" he smiles, his cheeks are reddening like they always did- it's not his fault he was so light complected. "Come on-" 

They're sitting on lawn chairs outside Bobby's and every once in a while Dean got up to flip the burgers. He was getting pretty good at grilling, it was much better than his cooking. Dean gives Bobby the first burger, Castiel gets the second and he gets the last beef patty. The buns were toasted and this time he added a little mayo, some lettuce and a large slice of tomato to each burger. 

"Oh my God-" Castiel moans over the first bite, "-best burger I've ever had." that comment has Dean's ears turning red as well- he sits down in between his uncle and his step father, he's happy right now. 

Dean takes a bite of his burger, he moans. "Can't believe I made this-" and takes another bite. After a while of eating in silence, he says- "I love when the three of us are together." Both adults nod in agreement and they enjoy their burgers in pure silence again, nothing audible but the crickets in the distance and the hoot of an owl they can't see anywhere though it sounds nearby. 

There's a flash of blue light in the sky that surprises them all. "Was it going to rain tonight?" Castiel asks Bobby, who shrugs, saying he didn't hear anything on the news. "It sure rains a lot out here-" 

"Gunna head inside, check the news. If it starts rainin' come in-" Bobby looks up at the black starless sky, another blue flash. "-both of you." 

They watch him walk up the porch steps and disappear behind the screen door, "Are you okay?" Dean asks him, it still surprises him when he does ask since he's almost always so self absorbed but then again most teenagers are. 

Castiel nods, "I'm fine. You?" Dean shrugs, he leans forward so he can be closer to him. "What's wrong?"

Dean shrugs again, flicking the lid on his root beer soda can. "-I'm sad."

"About John?" Dean nods, "I understand- he wasn't a good father but that doesn't change the facts." 

"Cas?" Dean asks nervously, looking up at the sky in wonder. 

"You know you can talk to me." Castiel reassures him. Another flash of blue light.

"-when I'm ready, can I tell you everything?" he doesn't understand, "-everything that happened with him. I tried to tell you when he left but you didn't wanna hear it-"

"Sure Dean, when you're ready." Castiel reaches over and pats him on the shoulder.

Bobby saw the entire exchange and it warmed his heart, they looked like real father and son. Soon enough Dean would have to go to his next therapy session and you best believe he was going to make Dean tell the therapist about his feelings for his step father. He had to work through them and he needed help from a professional in order to do that. 

"You better come in-" Bobby finally calls to them from behind the screen door, "We're gettin' a bad storm up here soon-" Castiel gets up as if to leave, "You're stayin' Cas, you don't have a basement."

"You think we'll get a tornado?" Castiel asks, looking around, hands on his hips in concern.

Bobby shrugs, "Dunno, better safe than sorry." he waves them over before heading back inside. 

"Dean, I need to run home real quick-" he pats his jeans pockets, empty. "Forgot my cell-"

Dean nods, hugging himself as a chill ran through his body- the wind had picked up. "Hurry." he urges the older man. Castiel nods and he takes off jogging back to his place up the road. In less than five minutes he appears jogging back down the road and when he makes it passed the wooden fence Dean feels relief. "Come on!" he calls. While Castiel was at his house he made sure the windows were all shut, turned off all the lights and locked the doors. 

On his way back he had gotten a little drenched in the rain that was just starting to pelt over the earth, "You better go on and take a shower, you'll get sick." Bobby says, already looking in the closet for an extra towel and a shirt that they all know will be too big for him. "Go on-" 

Castiel takes the towel and shirt, "Thanks Bobby." he looks over at Dean for a second before heading towards the bathroom.

"Sit down boy, ya makin' me nervous-" Bobby says and Dean sits next to his uncle so they can watch the news while Castiel showers.

By the time he's done in the shower it had already started pouring, he'd heard the rain slamming on the roof. Castiel joins them in the living room, towel wrapped around his neck. Dean looks up at him with the sweetest face, like he missed him. He plops down next to the teenager, his eye's scan the front door and noticed a few bath towels rolled up to cover the half inch of free space at the bottom of the door.

Bobby catches him looking at the towels, "The water was comin' in." he shrugs, "Had to improvise." Castiel nods. "Really comin' down out there-"

Castiel leans back on the couch and sighs. Bobby was paying attention to the news on the television and Dean just looked terrified, storms always frightened him ever since Castiel's known him. He leans over, "Don't be scared sweetie." he whispers and he nods, giving him an _I don't believe you_ kind of smile.

"Thank God you're here-" he whispers back and it was so soft it was almost inaudible. They want to be close but since they can't, they settle for just letting their legs touch while they sit on the couch and watch the news. Eventually Bobby goes to bed, around midnight and Dean falls asleep leaning against Castiel, he lets his head rest on top of Dean's while he stays up, eyes glued to the television.

Castiel's eyes begin to droop eventually and he falls asleep as well until the house begins to shake, the floorboards rattle as the heavy wind slams the house. It jolts Castiel awake first, he's confused as to what the noise had been until it happens a second time, by then Dean jolts awake in confusion. He looks up at Castiel with a worried and drowsy look on his face, Castiel kisses his temple. "It's okay baby, just the wind-" the floorboard rattle louder. Dean whines, trying to snuggle into him like a little child. "Shh, it's okay-" he wraps an arm around him to keep him safe.

The floorboards rattle yet again. Something crashes outside, that's when Castiel moves to stand up and take a look outside through the front doors window, trying to see what's going on outside but of course it's dark so he can't see anything aside from the occasional flashes of light. 

Bobby comes out in his brown fuzzy robe, "You hearin' all that racket out there?" Castiel nods, "News didn't say nothin' about a tornado?" Castiel shakes his head. "Damn." he looks over at the worried teenager, "Boy it's gunna be alright, it's just the wind." he faces Castiel, "Gunna head back to bed, come wake me up if the news says somethin'-" and he goes back to his room.

The walls of the house seem to rattle next, making the ugliest sound. Dean whines from where he still sits on the couch. Castiel comes over and sits next to him, "It's okay baby." the teen is shivering, "Have you had a shower today?" he shakes his head, "Baby why don't you go and take a nice warm shower, you'll feel better."

Dean nods and makes his way to his bedroom first to gather fresh clothes then he crosses the hall to the bathroom. Castiel sighs, raising the volume on the television with the remote. The weather girl on the screen was wearing a dress that was way too tight, not at all appropriate for telling the weather but he guesses it brings in the ratings. Something drops in the shower and he immediately goes to investigate. He knocks on the bathroom door, "Everything okay in there?"

"Yea!" Dean calls over the sound of the rain and the shower, "Dropped the shampoo!" he smiles and goes back to his spot on the couch. It's four in the morning and hes exhausted. All he wants to do is sleep but if something happens and Bobby wakes up because he wasn't warned, he'll be pissed. So he fights the urge to fall asleep as much as he can but eventually his vision goes back.

Dean sat next to Castiel after his shower, not waking him and decided to keep watch for a while. His eyes go from watching his step dad sleep peacefully next to him- to the weather girl on the screen. He wouldn't admit it but the weather girl was hot, he leans back and enjoys watching her prance around the screen- pointing at the map of the county they were in. His gaze shifts down, he's got a boner popping up in his boxers. The floorboards rattle again and instantly the boner is gone. _Fuck my life,_ Dean sighs.

Castiel opens his eyes, "What time is it?"

"Around five." Dean's eyes are glued to the weather girl.

"Don't tell me you're crushing on her." Castiel laughs and sits up so he doesn't fall asleep again. Dean blushes, eyes on the screen. Castiel actually pouts a little bit, it stings, maybe even feeling a little betrayed. Since they got together he's never been attracted to anyone else, not even when Dean rejected him for four years. He hasn't kissed or slept with anyone but Dean in the last five.

"What's wrong?" Dean looks at him, he'd been zoned out for a while. 

"Nothing baby." he kisses the boys temple. "I'm so tired-" he yawns, resting his head on top of his. "I could sleep for a about a week."

Dean leans against him even more, "I always miss you Cas."and that's how they fall asleep the rest of the night, what was left of it anyway. They stay like that until they smell something good in the air, Castiel opens his eyes first to see Bobby in the kitchen making breakfast who in that moment glances up to meet his gaze.

"Bobby-" Castiel says sleepily and gets up, Dean arranges himself on the couch now that he's got it all to himself. He makes his way to the kitchen, "He was scared so I-we-"

Bobby laughs, "You fell asleep, nothin' wrong with that- not like you were doin' anything." he stirs the eggs in the large pan. "Still comin' down-" he then sighs. "-won't be able to get any work done, it's flooded out there-"

Castiel rushes to the door and peeks out, there had to be at least ten inches of water all around. "Damn it-" he remembers his car is pretty compact and the tires are low, he hopes the motor doesn't get wet. His eyes shift to Bobby's truck and he's jealous, the truck is old but well taken care of- the tires are large and brand new. The water doesn't even come up half way. "Your truck must be nice to have when it's flooded-" Bobby agrees.

"If anythin' happens to your car, Dean can fix it." Bobby plates the eggs, "He's good on the newer ones, I'm more of a classics guy-"

Castiel nods and sits at the table. "Dean, come eat." he orders and instantly the teen wakes up and pads into the kitchen to sit next to them at the table. He smiles to himself because he just sounded like a father.

After a few bites of his breakfast he asks, "Aren't you goin' to work?" his step dad shakes his head, he was gazing into his coffee- thinking. "Why not?"

"Because it's flooded outside!" he snaps, now glaring at the stunned teen who quietly looks down at his plate. "-I'm sorry." they resume their breakfast.

Dean speaks when he's finished, "You love that job more than me-" and he said it right in front of his uncle. Castiel looks up at Dean, then at Bobby. "-admit it."

"That's not true-" Castiel's nerves are rising because the boy he loves wants to pick a fight with him not four feet from his uncle. "I do love you, you mean a lot to me-" he says it casually, sipping his coffee, hoping Bobby doesn't think they're talking about anything but fatherly love. The teenager just glares at him with a hurt look, "Why don't you go watch something in the living room-"

"Power went out last night-" Bobby chimes in.

Castiel hadn't noticed since the daylight was coming in through the windows, lighting up the home. He he stands up to flick on the light switch in the kitchen, nothing happened. "Shouldn't we call an electrician?"

"Already did, they can't come until the floodin' goes down-" 

Castiel sighs and resumes his place at the table, he picks up his coffee mug. Dean is still watching him hatefully. "What, you need to charge your cell so you can call work- talk to your friend Gabriel." 

"Excuse me?" now he glares right back at him hatefully. "Why would I be calling Gabriel?" Bobby just watches them interact, not wanting to get involved.

"When you first moved next door, he was invited to come in before I was-" Dean huffs, -first time I tried to visit you, you told me to go home-" his eyes begin to water, no tears fall.

"Dean-" Castiel says carefully, if he doesn't tread lightly he's afraid Dean might spill the beans on their relationship- the whole extent of it. It might leave his mouth that what he feels is more than just crushing on his step father. "-Gabriel is just my friend, I would never date another doctor."

He seems to like that response because he nods and goes to his room. Castiel looks at Bobby, "Sorry about that-" and hides his face in his coffee mug.

Bobby laughs, "The boys jealous. Always has been-" Castiel looks at him in confusion, "-when Dean was a little boy, John used to drop him off here once in a while." he laughs again as he recalls the memory. "Next door we used to have a neighbor that had a little boy about Dean's age, I was babysittin' that kid and I made the mistake of givin' him more ice cream than I gave Dean-he went nuts-" he laughs louder, "- he kicked and screamed until I gave him extra." Castiel nods, a smile on his face. He liked hearing old stories like this. "Don't worry about him gettin' upset, he just likes all the attention on him-"

Castiel chuckles softly, "Bless John Winchester for not giving him any siblings-" Bobby smiles sadly and they toast to John with their coffee mugs. "So, how the hell are we going to pass the time with no power?"

Bobby laughs, "I got bingo-" and he stands up, "-the Spanish one." Castiel follows Bobby to the living room and sits down while the bearded mam grabs a box from the old shelf.

"Dean!" he calls out. Soon enough the teen appears from the hall away, annoyed that he was even beckoned. "We're playing bingo, sit down." Dean gives him a look of- _who the hell do you think you are ordering me around,_ but he sits down anyway. 

Bobby hands them two playing cards each and pours out old buttons to use as chips. Since he's the only one out of the three that knows how to speak Spanish, he's the one who ends up calling the names on the cards, translating as he does. Though it wasn't necessary, Dean and Castiel end up going by the pictures anyway.

"El Diablito-" he says. Dean's got it so he puts a button over the red devil on the playing card. "El Melon-" he calls. Dean laughs and says the melon on the picture looked like a vagina. "How would ya even know what it looks like?" Bobby snorts. 

"Right." he focuses on his playing cars. "I have no idea what it looks like-"

Castiel knows he's been with one girl, Jo- and the fact that he does watch a lot of porn, he's caught him in the act a handful of times already. 

"La Calavera-" Bobby calls. Castiel and Dean both have that one, they each put a button over the skull on their playing cards. 

"I can't wait for Halloween-" Dean sighs.

Castiel snorts, "You're too old to go trick or treating." and the comment earns him a punch in the arm. "-I was kidding."

"So what the fuck am I gonna do this year?" 

"Language-" Castiel scolds him, he puts another button on his playing card. "I haven't taken you trick or treating since-" he pauses to think, "-you were fourteen."

"I wanna go-" Dean whines as they continue to play. 

"El Corazon-" Bobby calls.

Dean puts a button over the human heart. "How about we dress up and decorate the house, hand out candy-"

Dean snorts, "Who the hell is gonna trick or treat all fucking way out here?" 

Castiel blushes, "Right, I keep forgetting we're not in a neighborhood anymore-" 

"La Muerte-" Bobby calls. Castiel puts a button over the reaper on his playing card.

"I'll figure out something we can do, maybe there's a haunted house in town we can all go to-" that makes the teenager smile. "Then again we can always have a-"

"-horror movie marathon?" Dean grins, his little fangs making an appearance- he's always been a dork. Castiel agrees to it, Bobby does too. "Awesome."

"El Soldado-" Only Dean's got that one, he puts a button over the soldier. Oddly enough it only served to remind him of his father. They continue playing the game for a few hours, it wasn't as boring as they thought it would have been, while they do they converse and talk about future plans.

"You excited for school?" Castiel asks eventually.

"Yea-" Dean puts a button on his playing card, over the picture of a rose. "-but I'm scared." he admits and his step dad asks why. "-Cause I won't know anyone there. In case you haven't noticed I wasn't popular back at home either-"

Castiel scoffs, "What are you talking about, you had Sam and Jo-" he puts a button on his playing card, over the picture of a scorpion, "-and Jack."

Dean shrugs, "Yea but- Jack didn't go to my school." he adds another button to his playing card. "I hung out with the nerds-" he admits.

"Really?" Castiel asks him, looking over at him. 

Dean nods, "Think they just liked me because I could beat up their bullies-"

The revelation hits him instantly, "That's why you were getting into fights at school-" Dean nods again. 

Bobby cuts into the conversation, "Boo hoo princess." they look at him, "I had to drop outta school so I could work and help my parents." 

"Shit, sorry Bobby." Dean says, putting yet another button on his card and realizing he won. "-Bingo!" he calls out, all too happily. "What do I get?"

Bobby huffs, "Nothin'-" 

"What really-" they clear their cards to begin again, "-well that blows." After winning twice in a row the adults call it quits, "You just wanna stop cause I'm killin' the game-" they roll their eyes and Bobby slips him a Twenty dollar bill just to get him to shut up about there being no prize. "That was fun-" he pockets the cash and Castiel gets up, heading for the door. "Where are you going?" 

Bobby starts cleaning up their mess on the table in front of the couch and he follows the man outside to the porch, "Are you mad at me?" he asks, now feeling the guilt for trying to pick a fight earlier. Castiel shakes his head, leaning over the porch railing. "Then?"

"Got a lot on my mind-"

Dean leans over the porch railing too, next to him. "Like?"

Though it's only early August there's a chill in the air and the sun was hidden behind storm clouds. The earth was mushy with many inches of rainwater- the house looked to be floating in the middle of a lake. The water beneath was brown, murky and dirty from the soil beneath it and the scene at hand was exactly how he felt inside. Dark and alone, he was drowning, even with Dean by his side.

He gives the teenager a side smile, "Don't worry about me." he rubs shoulders with him, its all they can do because they could be seen by the window. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Uh, yea-" Dean smiles. They watch dark clouds rolling inwards up ahead, another storm, or maybe the same one. After a while of sky gazing he asks, "Are you still sad?" Castiel looks at him, the bluntness of his question was not expected. "I mean, you were depressed, weren't you?"

Castiel nods, "It comes and goes."

"And now?" Dean presses, he wants to know more of what goes on in his head. 

He shrugs with a heavy sigh, "I'm still depressed-" he admits, looking down at the dirty water below them and analyzes his reflection. "I-" he shakes his head but Dean jabs him in the shoulder for him to say it, "-I'm tired, Dean."

There's a few moments of silence before he asks, "Tired of _me?"_

Castiel whispers, "No baby-get that out of your head." Dean nods. "I just feel sad a lot, that's all- it's been hard these past few years." Dean lets him speak. "Raising you all by myself hasn't been easy, I tried my best and somehow still feel like I'm failing you. You're getting arrested-" he pauses, -you're beating people up, I don't know how to handle you sometimes. I know _he_ used to hit you-" Dean looks up at him, "-but I'm not going to do that, I don't believe in that." Dean nods, now looking ahead at the wooden fence. "Part of me wants to discipline you because in a way I do see myself as your father, but we're-" Castiel whispers this part, "- _together._ Wouldn't any physical violence or anything like that be considered abuse?" he says seriously, although Dean just thinks he's thinking to much about stuff.

"Uh-" Dean thinks it over.

"How would you feel if I hit you?" Castiel asks, his head is turned, now looking at Dean.

Dean shrugs, "Dunno- I liked it when you spanked me." 

Castiel sighs, "Forget it." after a beat he adds, "What I'm trying to tell you is that I don't want to have to put you in your place- whenever you've gotten out of control in the past, I don't like getting physical in order to control you." Dean nods, not really paying attention. "When you punch me, I never punch you back-" that grabs his attention.

"Why don't you?" he asks dumbly. "I mean, you could-"

"I don't want to be in an abusive relationship." Castiel admits cautiously, "You're a teenager so I've let so many things slide, but you're going to be eighteen and if you want to be my partner then-" he pauses for a moment. "-you can't go around punching me in the face when you feel like it anymore." 

"What are you saying-" he's still confused.

"Dean, you'll be an adult in a few months-" Dean nods, trying his best to understand and feeling like an idiot. "-If you ever hit me again, I'm not going to put up with it- I will leave you."

"What-" Dean's heart sinks, "You're gonna _leave_ me?" 

Castiel nods, "Like I told you, I don't believe in violence- your dad hit me one time too many and no one's ever going to do that to me again, I only let you get away with it because you're a minor."

Dean's still confused and his heart is racing, Castiel is leaving him- that's all he can think of, Castiel is going to _leave._ "Cas-" his voice cracks.

He can see the mental turmoil going on in the teenagers head so he puts an end to it, "Relax Dean, I'm not going to leave you- just don't ever hit me again." and those words don't help him feel better. He does understand why Castiel would leave him, no one wants to be in an abusive relationship but he assumed there would be no act so horrible that would make him leave. He was wrong. 

Dean fakes a smile because he doesn't want to start a fight right now and end things sooner, a single tear falls from his eyes and he wipes it away before Castiel notices. 

"You still love me, right?" Dean says quietly after a few minutes. Castiel nods. "Then how could you leave me-" instantly he regrets it when he hears his step dad groan in annoyance, "-sorry." he adds.

"I don't care how much I love you or anyone, why would I stay with someone who punches me in the face every other month?" he says that with a bite to it. "Wouldn't you leave me if I punched you in the face?" Dean doesn't know what to say, he hadn't considered it because Castiel's never really hit him but his answer would probably still be no. "I have self respect, Dean." 

"You didn't leave my dad when he-"

"Because I didn't want to leave you alone with him!" Castiel shouts, backing away from the porch railing, and Dean. "You think I would leave you alone with him after what you told me!" 

"You only stayed so he wouldn't-" Dean's voice is trembling, "I thought you stayed because-"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore!" Castiel yanks open the screen door and heads inside. Dean doesn't dare follow him until he hears Castiel asking him to drive him next door in his truck so he doesn't get all wet.

He yanks open the screen door and goes inside, "Bobby no!" he yells at his uncle, "Don't take him home-"

"What are ya two fightin' about now?" Bobby looks at them, keys in hand already.

Dean scrambles but in his haste he's about to say what he shouldn't, "He doesn't want-"

"Shut up Dean!" Castiel shouts at him, "Shut up!" and that just makes him start bawling like a child right then and there.

"Don't go!" Dean cries, "Don't go don't go don't go!" Castiel groans agony.

"Come here son-" Bobby pulls him in for a bear hug, rubbing his back up and down to soothe his crying. "You're alright-calm down." he says softly, Dean nods. Eventually his tears subside and his uncle releases him from the hug but still keeps an arm wrapped around his shoulder. "You want that ride?" he looks at Castiel. "Maybe you outta go home, let em' cool down-"

"Bobby no-" Dean complains. "I don't want him to go home-"

"If he stays you're just gonna keep fightin' about- what were you fightin' about?" he asks again.

"Nothing." Castiel says. 

Bobby nods, "Why don't we leave em' alone for a while?" he asks Dean, "Let's go make something to eat-" he looks at Castiel. "There's some books on the shelf if you wanna read somethin'-"

Castiel nods before he goes to pick one out. Bobby had a large collection of books on the shelves in the living room, he's surprised he never really looked through them before. 

"Come on-" he guides the grumpy teenager to the kitchen and they get started on making an early dinner. As they cook, Dean keeps glancing over at Castiel on the couch reading a book.

Eventually Castiel catches him looking, instead of smiling like he usually would he simply lowers his gaze back to the book on his lap. Dean's feeling more and more crushed with each passing minute. Maybe their fight wasn't so bad but his anxiety and the fact that he's a teenager makes this whole thing that more agonizing. Before they finish preparing the food, he can hardly contain his tears and excuses himself from the task. "I'm not hungry-" Dean rushes to his bedroom, locking the door.

Castiel saw him run off. "You wanna come eat?" Bobby asks from the kitchen, he nods and gets up to join him at the table. "Have seconds if ya want- Dean's not gonna eat." he tells Castiel knowingly. "That boy can never eat nothin' when he's in a bad mood." Eventually he asks, "What happened between you and him? Don't think I ever seen em' that upset-"

"It's complicated." Castiel starts eating the food in front of him though he isn't really that hungry. 

Bobby hesitates but he says it anyway, "Is it because he loves you?" 

Castiel swallows the food in his mouth and wishes he hadn't so he didn't have to respond to the question. "I-I love him too, he's a great kid." he deflects. 

"Mhm-" Bobby hums, continuing with his meal. "When you're done, you mind takin' his dinner to his room?"

Castiel nods, he doesn't want to but Dean's got to eat because no matter what happens he cares about his well being. After dinner Castiel gets up and takes a plate of food to the teenagers room. "Dean, I have your dinner-" he tries the doorknob, _locked._ "Dean-"

The door opens and Dean takes the plate before closing the door in his face. He could tell he was still crying. Castiel contemplates begging to be let inside and apologize to him but Dean never apologized for almost breaking his nose twice, he stands firm on not wanting to be with someone who hits him. 

Later that night Bobby and Castiel are talking in the living room, by candlelight. The power wasn't on yet though they heard from the power company that someone would be over early in the morning to fix it. Dean finally exits his room, he goes to the bathroom. 

"That boy can hold a grudge like no other-" Bobby shakes his head. Castiel shrugs, now the guilt has set in and he's thinking he should apologize- he'd only been thinking about himself before, not how Dean would react- he still believes what he believes but now he thinks maybe he should have found a more gentle approach.

The toilet flushes and it's heard through the extreme silence of the house. Dean exits the bathroom and goes back to his room.

"I better go-" Castiel starts, Bobby nods. He makes his way to Dean's bedroom and to his surprise, the door was unlocked. Maybe it was an invitation, he lets himself in. "-I'm sorry." he says, sitting down on the bed.

Dean's eyes were bloodshot from crying the whole day, part of the evening too. "Yea-" he shrugs, a magazine was open in his lap. "I was doing a lot of thinking-" Castiel nods, letting him speak. "-think maybe you should be with someone your own age." Dean shrugs again, turning the page. "I'm just some violent kid you're looking after-"

"Baby no-" Castiel whispers, "I want you." he reaches over to touch Dean but he's rejected. "Baby, come on-"

"You and Gabriel would make a nice couple-" Dean's voice wavers, "-you could take him on dates and no one would stare at you guys-"

"Baby-" he scoots over on the bed so he could be closer to him. 

"He understands all that doctor stuff-" Dean turns the page of his magazine again, not reading the words or seeing the pictures. "-you could marry him and no one would care."

"I want to marry you-" Castiel reassures him softly, wishing he never said those things on the porch earlier. "I'm sorry for what I said."

Dean shrugs, "You'll never be able to marry me." he'd be crying but he's got no tears left. "You can say it all you want Cas but-" he laughs sadly. "-I think you'll chicken out and- you know, not show up that day or just say you can't because of Bobby-" he shrugs again. "I wanted to tell him about us, you told me not to. I think you're ashamed of me-"

"Baby-" Castiel's eyes begin to water now because it feels like Dean's trying to break up with him. "-are you breaking up with me?" he has to ask.

Dean smiles sadly, "What can I really offer you Cas? I'm gonna end up being some lame mechanic just like my dad. Probably end up a drunk too-that runs in my family too ya know-" he lets the words die off.

Castiel tries his best to blink the tears away but they manage to still roll down his cheeks. "Please don't do this-" be pleads with the boy in front of him. "Please-"

"I remember saying please today, and you didn't care. You just did what you always do, shut me out- tell me to be quiet or you walk away. If you haven't noticed, I've been trying to be more open with you, tell you how I feel-asking how you're feeling- _you_ don't change Cas, you're always gonna see me as that little kid I was when we first met but I'm not. I'm growing up and you can't see that, maybe it's you who doesn't respect _me._ If I was older would you still treat me like that in the middle of a fight?-" he pauses, "-because I really doubt it. Bobby, like hell you would do to him what you to do me- and that's because you do respect him. Trust me, I know the difference. My dad hit me, but you hurt me with the things you say and the stuff you don't-" 

"Dean-baby-" Castiel scoots over again, now practically on top of the boy. "I'm sorry-" he whispers, "I'm sorry-so sorry-" he cups the young face in his hands, kissing every inch of soft skin but Dean doesn't kiss back. "Baby-"

Dean manages to shed another tear after believing he was all cried out and Castiel wipes it away. "How do you think I felt when you told me that you only stayed with us just so my dad wouldn't-" he closes his eyes. "-you know."

"It came out wrong-" Castiel says, "You have to know that I stayed with John regardless of what he did to me because I needed to take care of you-" Dean's looking down at his lap, at the ring on his middle finger he's now fiddling with. "-because I had feelings for you." he ends up saying. Dean looks up at him through wet lashes, "I love you, always have. You have to know that-"

Dean rubs at his eyes, "I don't know what believe-"

"Believe this-" he reaches over and presses a kiss against Dean's always soft lips and he doesn't return the kiss, or reject it. "Please believe that I love you-I'm sorry for being a jerk." he whispers and kisses him again and Dean starts crying once more. "Baby, please don't cry-I'm not going anywhere-" he kisses him again, "Please stop crying-"

Dean shoves him away and Castiel almost falls off the bed. "You hurt me today Cas- you're not gonna fix it by kissing me, I have self respect too." he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. "Try somethin' else-" and he picks up his the magazine again, signaling to the older man that the conversation is _over_.

Castiel wipes his eyes because he has to face Bobby soon, "You're right, you are growing up and I'm still treating you like a child. I'm sorry-" he turns around and leaves the room. Dean throws the magazine at the closed door.

The next morning the power had been restored, the flooding outside subsides and Castiel goes home. Bobby is making breakfast in the kitchen as usual when Dean walks in, "Hey powers back on-" he smiles when he sees the television blaring in the background. "Where's Cas?" he looks around with a mouthful of bacon.

"Next door-" Bobby says. "-what happened yesterday?"

"He said some stuff that hurt my feelings-" Dean wills himself not to cry because it feels like it's over. Deep down he's holding onto the idea of marrying Castiel one day but maybe that's foolish, he's just a kid and turning eighteen isn't going to change that overnight.

"People argue, no big deal-" his uncle smiles, somehow it makes him feel better. "Now eat, I know you tossed last nights dinner-" Dean apologizes and polishes off his breakfast to make up for the wasted food.

He woke up in a better mood than when he had fallen asleep so he jokes with his uncle as usual while they work on a car. By noon Bobby tells to go relax in the house for a while, that he could handle the rest of the job so Dean does as told and goes inside. After he has a root beer he calls out to his uncle, "Is it cool if I go next door?" Once he's got the all clear he walks up the road and relief floods his veins when Castiel's car is there.

Dean knocks on the front door because it was locked for once, "Cas!" he calls through the door. "Helloo-" he cups his hands over the window so he can get a better look inside. He knocks one final time before giving up. Dean reaches the fence when Castiel opens the door.

"Hey!" he calls. Dean turns around, walking back up. "Wasn't expecting you-" 

Dean shrugs, he hadn't thought about what to say on the way over so he just goes with, "I hate fighting-we were both wrong, can we just forget about it?" he looks up at his step dad from the bottom of the porch steps, squinting when he sunlight hits his eyes.

Castiel nods, "Can you come in or is Bobby waiting for you?" 

Dean smiles, "I can come in for a while." once inside he's pressed up against the door by Castiel, he kisses his neck and just about anywhere he can get to. "Ugh-" he moans. "-keep doin' that." but he stops. "Why'd you-"

"You forgive me don't you?" Castiel asks, "I'm so sorry for what I said-" 

Dean nods, willing himself not to cry again because those words will always hurt. "-yea." he whispers. Their clothes end up tossed carelessly along the hall that leads to Castiel's bedroom, where they quickly made love. "Cas-" he asks as they lay spent in each others arms on the bed. 

"Yeah?" Castiel asks, his eyes focused on the ceiling, thinking.

"Why do we fight so much-" Dean asks quietly, "-I mean, I know I always start it but yesterday-"

Castiel squeezes Dean briefly, "I know baby, yesterday it was all me and I'm sorry." Dean nods. "I-I just get defensive about no one hitting me because-" he pauses to breathe in nervously. "-your dad wasn't exactly the only boyfriend I've had who would hit me." Dean looks up at him now, curious. "Before I met John I had a boyfriend, I was with him for a few years- he was an alcoholic and let's just say he wasn't a happy drunk." 

"I didn't know what." Dean whispers, holding onto the man in bed with him for dear life. "Why didn't you leave him right away?"

"I didn't have anywhere to go-" he sighs. "I stayed with him until I finished school. Still remember the day I graduated, I left the house wearing my cap and gown and never came back to him." there's a minute of silence before he continues. "I just feel like anyone I end up with, hurts me." that stings because Dean knows he's included in that list of _anyone._

"I'll never do it again Cas, promise." Dean says softly.

Castiel nods, not really believing it but choosing to anyway in good faith because he loves him. "Dean it offends me because I could never hurt you like that. Maybe we're just different in that way-"

"Sorry-" Dean whispers again, "Guess I don't know the difference. You know, growing up around violence-" he shrugs, "You get used to it, think it's normal-"

"It's not Dean, you should never hit the one you love." he kisses the teens hair and lingers there to inhale his scent. _Green apple._ "I promise I'll never hurt you like that."

"Me too." Dean promises. 

"You mean that?" Castiel asks, hopeful.

"-until you piss me off again." he smiles, Castiel frowns. "Yea, I mean it." 

After some quiet moments of snuggling- he says, "Dean, tell me something-" Dean looks up at him once again. "Did your dad ever hit Mary-" he shakes his head. "Really?"

"-once." Dean finally admits. "Right before she left."

"That's why she left-" he nods, "-so it had nothing to do with me." Dean agrees, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't understand what he did was wrong-" he shrugs, "I'd forgive him after he did the same to me so I thought-" Castiel nods. 

"I'm sorry baby-" he whispers before kissing the teen on the lips again, pouring as much love into it as he can. Dean whimpers into his mouth, allowing their tongues to meet. When he pulls away he's panting yet still manages to tell him, "I love you, do you understand me?" Dean nods, panting himself-both of them are hard as a rock under the thin bed sheets that cover the lower half of their bodies. "No matter what I do or say, I don't want you to ever think I don't love you. I would never willingly leave you, not if I can help it-" he presses a quick kiss to his lips. "-I'd move heaven and earth for you if I could."

Dean tears up but blinks it away instantly, "Yea. I know." he smiles. "Sorry I doubted you, what you said just really hurt-I was thinkin' about us together forever and you spring that possibility on me, I never expected that." they make eye contact. _Green and blue._ "I get it though, why you would leave me for hitting you. It would be the right thing to do."

Castiel smiles, looking at his boy that isn't quite a boy anymore. His thumb rubs over the barely there stubble along his jawline. "Dean, you were so worried about me not seeing you-" he kisses the boy again. "-but I _see_ you. You're growing up and somewhere in the middle of raising you on my own and working hard to provide for you, I forgot to grow along side you."

"Stop doin' that-" Dean rubs at his eye, "You keep making me cry-"

"Likewise, Dean Winchester." Castiel sighs, "I rarely used to cry before meeting you. Now I cry when I've hurt you-" his fingertips brush along Dean's short hair, "-I cry when you've hurt me. I cry when I'm worry about you- when you're sick or sad." he smiles fondly. "And yet I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." 

Dean swallows over the knot in his throat, "You still love me even after everything?" 

"I couldn't stop loving you even if I tried." Castiel laughs softly as he recalls an old memory, "Even loved you after that time in fifth grade you got sent home early because you peed your pants-"

"Okay!" Dean yelps, Castiel sneezes. "You okay?"

"Yeah-" Castiel reaches over to the nightstand for a tissue. "Probably getting sick. Maybe you should go, don't want you to catch it." They kiss a final time before Dean gets up and dresses while blue eyes watch his every move. "See you soon?"

"Sure baby." Castiel lays back against the pillow. "Soon."


	49. Burning Man

Dean's phone buzzes by his side while he's laying in bed so he sets aside the car manual he was looking through in hopes of finding a solution to a car he was currently working on.

"Hey Cas." he answers, "Huh?" all he hears is Castiel's attempts at saying something before hanging up.

Dean gets out of bed and pulls on his boots, "Bobby!" he calls as he makes his way down the hall. "Gonna go see Cas real quick."

His uncle nods from where he's sitting on the couch, "Don't take too long, it's getting late." When Dean gets to Castie's place he simply lets himself inside, not bothering to knock on the door. Why bother with that, it's a wonder to him why he doesn't have his own key.

"Cas?" he opens the bedroom door to find him laying in bed, looking terrible and coughing uncontrollably. "Shit-" he steps closer,"-you're sick." and he doesn't know what to do, Castiel never gets sick.

"Dean-" Castiel rasps, "-can you have Bobby go to the store and get me some medicine?" the teen boy nods, asking what kind of medicine. "Something for colds-" 

Dean nods and he lingers about until Castiel's expectant gaze has him asking, "Oh you mean now-" he nods. "-right, I'll go tell him." and he's off back home.

"Bobby!" he walks in through the screen door.

"When you said quick, I didn't think-" 

"He's sick and wanted me to ask you if you could go pick up some medicine for him."

Bobby quickly stands, heading for the keys on the wall hook. "You comin?" Dean nods. Instead of driving all the way into town, they go to a local gas station to pick up the medicine. They walk through the door, it pings electronically. "You said cold medicine right?" 

"Yep-" Dean looks through the aisles until he finds what he's looking for, his eyes land on a box of blue pills. "He'll need these soon enough-" he mumbles to himself, luckily no one heard that. His eyes land on a bottle of cherry cold medicine, he's got no idea if it's any good, it's the generic kind but he likes cherry flavored anything so it will do. "Found it-" he calls out in the middle of the store, looking through every aisle for his uncle and finds him in the chips aisle. "Got it-" he holds up the red bottle.

"Pick out some snacks will ya, don't feel like cookin' tonight." and that's music to his ears, Dean makes quick work of picking up a family size bag of chips, bean dip and several other tings. "I know I'm payin' but don't get carried away-" at the register Dean throws down the twenty he won when they played bingo. "In that case-" Bobby reaches over and grabs some snickers bars next to the register.

"Hey!" he huffs as the cashier rings it all up and Bobby pays for the gas separately. They fill up the truck before heading back home. 

"Before you take the medicine why don't ya make em' some soup." Dean looks at him, "Come on, the guy probably hasn't eaten since yesterday." Dean caves and goes inside the kitchen to make some soup- he makes the kind that comes from a can, hopefully Castiel won't notice or care. After all it's the thought that counts. 

Dean walks next door with a tub of soup in his hands, thank God for lids or else he would have spilled it on his way over. "Cas-" he calls as he steps in, he likes to announce his presence since he rarely ever knocks. "Got your medicine and some soup-" he pushes open the door to see his step dad, still in bed. Though now he was reading a book like the nerd he always was, his glasses barely hanging on to the tip of his nose.

Castiel sets the book aside, "Thank you-" he can barely talk, his throat hurts that bad. Dean hands him the little measuring cup that came with the medicine, filled with the cherry liquid. Castiel knocks it back like a shot of something. "Ugh-"

"Thought adults didn't get grossed out by medicine-" Dean laughs.

"-I hate cherry." Castiel deadpans. Dean's mouth forms into an _Oh_ expression. "It's okay, medicine is medicine-" he takes the soup he's given, along with a spoon. "It's good baby." the comment is made after he's has had a few sips.

"It came from a can-" he says awkwardly, just standing there by the end of the bed. 

"Well, no one can heat up canned soup like you can baby-" Castiel says, always reassuring his love. When he's done with the soup, his first and last meal of the day considering it was almost midnight- he confesses, "Wish you could sleep over-

Dean smiles, "Maybe I can-" he pulls out his phone, ignoring the sick man asking him what he's about to do. "Bobby, do you mean if I stay with Cas tonight?" Castiel glares at him, he ignores that too. "Yea-he's really sick, don't wanna leave him alone." a minute goes by. "Awh come one, the guy is coughing up a lung! Please Bobby- yes!" he shrieks and hangs up. "He said yes." he gives his step dad an eyebrow wiggle along with a grin.

Castiel smiles, "Thank you baby, for staying with me- but it really is just a cold." 

Dean reaches over to feel his forehead, "You're warm-"

"I'm always warm." and it was true. "But I'm glad you're here anyway."

They go to sleep soon, Castiel on his bed and Dean on the couch as to not risk getting sick. In the morning hes awoken by him, "Yeah? He rasps, his eyes squinting over the early morning light.

"You're a friggin' liar Cas." 

It's the tone of his voice that has his sitting up In bed, "What?" 

"I couldn't sleep all night, I was thinking about what you told me back at the cabin. You being homeless-"

Castiel nods, reaching for the bag of cough drops sitting on the nightstand. He pops one in his mouth, still half asleep.

"-and I just got to thinking, how could you be homeless if you're the son of a surgeon? I mean, that is what you told me." Castiel's eyes widen for a moment. "Yea. Why did you lie to me? What was the lie anyway, your dad being a surgeon or you growing up poor and homeless?" He doesn't answer. "Did you make up that story so I wouldn't ask about your folks?"

Castiel avoids making eye contact. "I don't want to talk about it."

Dean groans in frustration, "Damn it cas! You promised you weren't going to shut me out!" He turns around to leave but Castiel gets up from the bed and holds him in place. "Tell me the truth or I'm leaving."

Castiel nods, "I lied to you, I'm sorry."

"What was the lie?"

"My father was never a surgeon alright-" he gets back in bed, covering his half naked body with the thin bed sheet. "You asked what my dad did for a living and I didn't want to admit I came from a poor family, I was ashamed."

Dean nods, "I understand. Just don't lie to me anymore." Castiel stays silent, his face was flushed. He gives in and sits on the edge of the bed, "You didn't think you could be honest with me?"

"I wanted you to think I always had it together." he admits. "What made you think about that, I told you that way back-"

"After my birthday, when you gave me Cassie." 

Castiel nods, "I'm sorry for lying."

Dean comes over every day to check on Castiel, brings him food and just to keep him company while he's been sick. By day four, he's already doing much better and has been asking him for sex. 

"Please baby-" Castiel rubs his large hand over Dean's growing bulge in his shorts. "I feel better-" he's ignored yet again so he gives up. For now at least. 

They stay glued to couch watching television, reruns of a show called Ghost Whisperer that Dean has recently been obsessed with. Maybe it had to do with the dead, the ghosts- maybe they reminded him of his dad who was no longer here. He doesn't care why he loves watching it but he's learned well enough by now to not change the channel. 

Eventually Dean says, "Damn look at the tits on her." his head is tilted to the side, admiring the breasts on the screen.

"Ah-" Castiel nods in understanding, "-so you like Jennifer Love Hewitt."

Dean bites his lip, eyes focused on the actress running around in the woods as she calls out to a ghost. "Don't get jealous Cas, you know I'm gay for you-" his eyes won't leave the screen, not even to blink. When the show cuts to commercial, he turns around to face him. "Cas-" there's something about his tone.

"Yes?" he asks, bracing himself for what's about to come out of his mouth.

"Think we could ever have another threesome?"

Castiel goes red, "Excuse me?" but his interest is peeked and he can't deny it. "With who-"

"Hmm, any hot nurses at the hospital?" his step dad thinks for a moment before shaking his head. "Damn, how about Pamela?" the older man looks confused, he's never met her. "Shit- right you don't know her. She owns the record store in town-"

Castiel says, "You don't have a record player."

Dean rolls his eyes, "She's got cd's too." he shrugs, "Books and stuff."

"What kind of books?" he's curious because the boy isn't much for reading unless there's pictures.

"Witchcraft books-" he smiles nervously, "-she's also got some about how to talk to dead people and-"

"Dean, don't tell me you're into the occult?" he crosses his arms, studying him.

Dean shrugs, "It's cool-" Castiel asks about Pamela so he tells him, "She's awesome Cas-" once he's heard what he feels might be her entire life story including her likes and dislikes Castiel is concerned about this Pamela chick.

"And why do you want to have a threesome with her? Doesn't she know you're a minor?"

"Yea-" he smiles, "So? I'm sure she can keep a secret, plus she's friggin' hot."

He's officially jealous of this Pamela person, "How do you know she would be interested in you?" after a beat he says, "-or me."

"I see the way she checks me out when I walk into her store, come on- it's obvious. She's a cougar Cas-" his hand is now massaging Castiel's leg and his dick is getting hard despite of his jealousy. He entertains the idea only because he's so horny right now. "Come on Cas, say yes-"

Castiel nods, "It's up to her-" this feels strange and he doesn't want to do it but it's been a while since Dean's shown any sexual interest in him. He wants to be mad at him for trying to do something like this again but he can't judge, he himself has had a few threesomes back in his day that Dean doesn't know about yet. He really should tell him one of these days.

"But don't get all pissy and hurt if she pays more attention to me-" he mentions mindlessly, his eyes back on the screen since his show has now returned from commercial break.

"Dean-" he scolds, "Did you already mess around with her?"

"Maybe a little-" he looks at his step father, there's actual guilt in his eyes.

He's so caught off guard, so jealous that he says something he comes to instantly regret, "You're a slut." 

The teen laughs until he realizes that Castiel is seriously calling him a slut and not in the sexy kinda way you would call someone during sex. "Cas-"

"You should go home, I don't want to do anything with that woman-" he crosses his arms at his chest and continues watching the show he doesn't really like, he'd change the channel but Dean's got the remote.

"Do you really think I'm a slut?" Dean asks somberly.

"Let me think-" he says in a hurt yet angry tone, "You made out with Charlie on our couch, you have sex with Jo-" Dean cuts in to defend himself that it only happened once and it makes no difference. "-you bring Sam into our bed and convince me to have a threesome with him, then there's Jack, you made out with him on our couch as well." 

Dean rubs his eyes, "What's your friggin' point-"

"It seems like you get bored with me and you want to use threesomes as an excuse to be with someone else-" instantly he regrets saying all of that too. The look of hurt on Dean's face is too much to bare, knowing he caused it. "-sorry, I'm just jealous- I don't like sharing you." Dean stays quiet. "I just want us to just be us- no one else Dean, is that too much to ask you for?"

Dean considers it seriously, "You said I could explore." now he looks over at his step dad, "I love you Cas but I've only ever been with you- and you've been with people before me."

"I did say that, you're right." when the teen scoots over until their thighs touch he says, "I just want you all to myself baby-" he wraps an arm around him. "I don't like the idea of some woman all over you-" Dean looks up at him, Castiel presses kisses to the side of his neck. "I only want my lips on you-" he continues kissing, his lips making little noises with every kiss. "I love you baby-"

Dean smiles, "You really know how to get outta trouble-" Castiel stops kissing, "Yea, you want to get me all turned on so I forget that you just called me a slut."

Castiel presses a kiss to his lips, "You're my little slut." Dean bites his lip. "You like being daddy's little slut?" Dean nods, he grabs hold of Castiel's hand and sucks on his index finger. "Fuck-" he exhales the profanity. 

Dean lets go, "First one to your room is a rotten egg!" Castiel makes a confused expression when the teen jumps up and runs to the bedroom.

"Wait!" he gets up and runs after him, panting when he gets to the room. "You win."

"Speaking of rotten egg-" Dean falls onto the bed, "That weird smell is back-" he props himself up on his elbows, sniffing the putrid air.

Castiel notices it too. "Do you still want to or is the smell that bad-" Dean yanks him down so that he falls over him, "Mmm-" he mumbles between kisses, "Baby-" 

_Dean.._

They stop kissing, looking around the bedroom- their eyes eventually landing on the wide open bedroom door. No one was there. They shrug and continue kissing.

_Dean.._

Something crashes in the kitchen, the sound glass hitting the floor. "Damn it-" Castiel gets up, "Gonna go see what that is, I'll be right back-" Dean winks at his step dad, "Keep it warm for me-" he winks back, Dean nods.

Castiel makes his way down the hall, to the kitchen. If he were a woman he would have screamed.

His coffee pot was shattered on the floor, black liquid was everywhere. "Damn it-" he curses, the coffee was hot. Freshly brewed. He looks around the kitchen, taking a step forward, stepping on a shard of glass. He hisses, lifting his foot up to remove it. He grabs a mop and shoves everything into a corner so he can pick it up later because there was a cute boy was in his bed that he couldn't make wait forever.

He turns around to leave the kitchen when something else breaks, a coffee mug. "John?" Castiel calls the name softly and waits for a response.

"Cas-" Castiel turns around, Dean scared him. "Why are you saying my dads name?" He shrugs, picking up the broom this time to get rid of the mess right now once and for all since it doesn't look like he will be getting laid after all. John Winchester's spirit is going to keep him from fucking his son. "Wait-" Dean steps closer, "You think he's haunting you."

Castiel nods, throwing the broken pieces of mug and glass into the garbage. 

"Why would he haunt you? You didn't do anything to him, if anything he should be haunting me." 

Castiel sighs, "Can I be honest?" Dean nods, already knowing he won't like what's going to come out of his mouth. "John and I didn't really meet the way I said we did-"

"Are you kiddin' me Cas!" Dean yelps, "You gotta stop lyin' to me dude-" 

"You were too young to understand a lot of things-" he nods in understanding, telling him to spill it already. "I knew he abused drugs. When he came into the hospital, that's how I found out. Someone found him passed out in the bathroom at a bar after shooting up-" 

Dean looks pensive for a whole minute then he laughs bitterly, "So the whole time I thought he was just out drinkin' he was really out usin'-"

"Baby-" Castiel tries to hold him but Dean shrugs away, taking a seat at the table. "I was trying to protect you. You were too young to know about that-"

"Yea-" Dean sighs, his chin resting on his hand. "Anything else I should know about?" he looks at him.

Castiel takes a seat at the table now, "I think that's everything-" Dean glares. "-if I remember anything else, I'll tell you." Just then his phone rings, "What's up Bobby?" he speaks into his cell, Dean got up to pull out supplies for sandwiches from the fridge and he watches the boy make them. "Really?" he groans, "At this rate I'll be out of a job- thanks for letting us know, bye." he hangs up.

"What'd he want?" he sits down, handing Castiel a paper plate that contained a sandwich and chips. "And why are you gonna be out of a job?"

Castiel pops a chip into his mouth, "Bobby says there's a hurricane on it's way-" he groans again, "-Dean, I can't keep missing work-" the teen nods. "I mean it, I have money in savings but I don't want to blow through it-" and he feels like an idiot because he doesn't understand adult problems quiete yet. "-I have to take care of our tenants, if anything happens to the house, it's on me not to mention the rent on this place, and my car-" he shakes his head, "-I shouldn't have gotten a brand new car last year. I spent a lot fixing up the house-and this place." 

Dean smiles, reaching over to grab his hand. "Everything will be okay, you're just freaking out- in case you havent noticed, that's my job." 

That makes him laugh, "Yeah-" he sighs, "I'm just freaking out, I have plenty of money- everything's fine." they eat their food in silence before Dean asks when the hurricane will hit them. "The news said in two or three days-" he stands up and clears the table.

"Don't we gotta prapare or somethin'-" 

He nods, "I'm going to head into town, pick up stuff we all need- are you coming with me or going back home?" Dean thinks it over and chooses to go. 

They drive into town and when they get to the store, the sun's almost completely down. "Come on, let's hurry-" Castiel wraps an arm around him so he can keep up with him. Once inside, Dean's pushing the shopping cart as they gather their supplies. They grab candles, flashlights, bottled water and other essentials, food too. "Hurry-" he rushes Dean along, who was busy looking at a magazine at the check out lane.

"Why are you nervous-" Dean asks while they make their way back to their car. 

Castiel pops the truck on the brand new car he shouldn't have gotten last year. It was nice though. "I'm not-" he loads everything without any help, he wished Dean would help out once in a while without being told. After they buckle their seat belts Castiel confesses, "I just feel like everything I've worked for is going to hell-" he punches the steering wheel gently.

"Nothing's going to happen just cause you miss a few days here and there-" Dean reassures him, "-the hospital will always be there." what he says next surprises Castiel greatly, "Don't take your life for granted Cas- if you get a day off, even if it's because you're sick or because of the weather, enjoy it and spend it with your family." Castiel looks at him, "Me, dumb ass- I'm your family."

"You're right baby." Castiel kisses Dean's hand before making the drive home. 

Two days later all the windows in Castiel's house and Bobby's are boarded up, trashcans have been taken in, as well as anything outdoors that could be knocked over by the wind. "Come on Cas-" Dean rushes Castiel as he grabs a bag with enough supplies for the next few days. He was going to wait out the storm with Dean and Bobby, secretly he was happy about it- more time with Dean. Yet he's also worried, the last time they waited out a storm together it ended in tears, a lot of them.

They make the short walk over and Dean does his best to make him comfortable, knowing he will have to take the couch. The kid sets two pillows on the couch with a soft thick blanket, the works. Bobby comes in to ruin everything, "This storm is gunna be worse than the last one- this one's a hurricane. Jus' be glad it's a category one-" 

"It was a tropical storm first right?" Castiel carries the conversation. Dean doesn't want to hear about it, but he watches them discuss it anyway. 

Eventually Bobby says, "Ya know, we probably got a day before it makes landfall-" he's hesitating.

"Oh for fuck's sake just go bang your lady friend one last time before it hits-"

Bobby is red all over, "Ya mind?" he looks at Castiel, who shakes his head. "I'll be back soon-" he dips out quickly enough. As the bearded man leaves, he goes to check the fridge to see if they have enough food- they do, so he goes to sit on the couch next to the teenager. 

"Don't be grumpy." Castiel squeezes his thigh and Dean places his hand over the large hand that grabbed him- he guides it up along his leg- both of their eyes watching the movement until their hands are over Dean's crotch. "Baby-" Castiel says with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. "You want it?" he looks at green eyes, he nods. "Well then, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't satisfy my baby-"

The large hand of his step father works his bulge over his jeans, Dean moans without any shame. Castiel asks the boy if he likes that, he moans- "Yea daddy-"

"God, you're so fucking cute baby-" Castiel leans in, kissing Dean's neck softly until he feels he's ready for it. 

Dean giggles because the kisses on his neck tickle, "I'm not a puppy Cas- I'm not cute." 

"Do you want to be my puppy?" Castiel whispers in his ear. "Think you'd be a nice puppy-" Dean moans. "Or do you want to be my little kitten?" he whines, thinking it over. "My sweet little kitten, how does that sound baby?" 

"Ugh- wanna be your kitten." he says softly. 

"Alright kitten, why don't you go to your room, I'll follow you." Dean gets up and Castiel stops him, "I want you to crawl." He nods and gets on all fours, crawling to his bedroom- his step dad follows him the whole way. Once inside he closes the door, locking it- he scoops the teen up from the floor bridal style and tosses him on the bed. "Be a good kitten, show me your little ass-" 

"Cas-" Dean smiles, trying to hide his laughter- this is completely new for them, pretending to be a pet for his step dad-he undresses rather quickly, tossing his clothes to the floor near the bed and does as he was told- remains on all fours on top of the bed with his ass in the air. The coolness in the room has goosebumps popping up all over his body. 

"So pretty baby-" Castiel undresses himself and stands behind his kitten now- kneading his soft cheeks. It makes his boy whimper like a slut. "You like that don't you?" he nods, biting his lip and looking over his shoulder to see what he's going to do next. "Want me to eat this little hole?" he blows cool air on it, it twitches. 

"Ugh fuck Cas-" Dean whines, "Eat my fucking ass-" 

Castiel chuckles, "Are you going to be my good little kitten?" Dean nods quickly. "I guess you deserve it-" he spreads those plump cheeks open and dives in, kissing and lapping at the sweet pink hole. After a while he stops to comment, "I never liked doing this to anyone, but you actually taste good-" and devours the hole again, making Dean feel special. 

He knows the boy is about to come so he stops, smacking his ass hard so he snaps out of it. "Not yet baby." Dean shivers, barely managing to hold back his orgasm. "I want to fuck my kitten first-" 

"Yea, fuck my ass daddy-" he says hoarsely. 

Castiel has to bite back a moan himself just hearing those words, he climbs on the bed- hovering over Dean's body. "You love daddy a lot don't you?" he says in his ear. Dean moans, nodding. He pushes the boy down on the bed, lifting only his ass up. "Relax baby-" he runs a lubed thumb over the hole, it clenches. "I said relax-" it relaxes and his thumb eases in. "That's it baby, good boy-" Dean moans again. "How's that feel?" the thumb in his ass was quickly replaced by his middle finger, fucking him in and out slowly, opening him up.

"Ugh yea-" Dean hisses, "You're the best daddy in the world-" he says through gritted teeth. "No one could ever fuck me like you do-"

"Oh yeah?" Castiel removes the finger, spanking his ass roughly. Dean whines loudly, "You'd be happy with just my cock for the rest of your life?"

"Mmmm-" he whimpers, his cock slowly pushes in. "-fuck yes." now it's all the way in, Castiel wastes no time before he's grinding deep in and out of that tight warmth. "Ohmygod-" he whimpers. "Shiit- God you're so fucking big." he bites onto the pillow just to have something to do while he gets his ass pounded. "Fuck-" his sounds are now muffled.

"You're so fucking tight-" he pushes in as deep as he can, at an angle that has Dean crying in pleasure. "-love this ass so much." he continues fucking his boy until he comes inside the wet heat, though he continues until Dean has to come. "You close baby?"

"Yea-" Dean whines, his body tensing up, his ass going even higher than it was before until he lets himself fall down against the mattress and he begins grinding up against it- chasing his own orgasm. Castiel is so amazed by this that he pulls out, letting the boy do his own thing. "Ugh- ugh- mm- hmph-mm-" he begins to make the most delicious little whimpers and moans that Castiel starts to jack off, chasing a second orgasm while he enjoys the view. 

Dean continues humping the mattress, "Ugh-gonna come-" he's almost there, "-gonna- come- ugh- daddy-" his movements become erratic and he rolls over right before he comes all over his stomach- letting Castiel see the finale. "Ugh- Cas-" he spreads his legs open and closes them repeatedly, his hands grip his own thighs. He feels so good right now, he feels like he could go again. "Daddy-" he whines, looking up at the man in the bed with him.

"Kitten wants milk-" he opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out- his eyes close, waiting for it.

"Fuck Dean-" Castiel gets closer and jerks off in front of the sweet face in front of him and he comes all over it, getting most of it on his pink tongue. "Fuck-" Dean never really liked to swallow, so he isn't upset in the slightest when he lets it dribble down his chin. "Good boy-" he says breathlessly, "Fucking love you-"

Dean sighs, looking up at his step dad with so much love. "Love you too-" he sits up, "Phew-"

"Better get in the shower before he comes back." he helps Dean off the bed and guides him to the bathroom. "Get in, I'll bring you some clean clothes."

"Love you daddy." Dean smiles, batting his eyelashes- it's done sarcastically but he still looks beautiful doing it. 

"Do you want to get fucked again?" he shakes his head, he's already fucked out for the day. "That's what I thought." he smiles back. "Take a shower."

"Sure daddy." Dean gets in the shower, turns on the water- leaving the curtain wide open so he can watch.

"You're such a brat." he closes the bathroom door. 

Eventually Bobby comes home looking happy as a clam, he got his. So did Castiel and Dean, but he didn't need to know that. The rest of the evening is spent watching movies on the television, they got to have dinner on the couch which Dean had been happy about- he hated eating at the table, it felt too formal. 

Right before midnight Dean yawns, "Think I'm goin' to bed now-" he stands, stretching his sore limbs- before limping away. The kind of limp that made his bow legs a little bit more bowlegged. Bobby hadn't noticed anything about the way he was walking, and why would he notice- it'd say something if his uncle was checking out the ass of his own flesh and blood. Bobby wasn't like that, good for him.

After midnight Bobby now yawns, "Ima head to bed now." he turns to Castiel, "That friend of mine, whoo she's a firecracker." that comment makes them both laugh. "Don' stay up too late, don't know what we're in for tomorrow with the storm." he heads off, disappearing down the dark hallway.

Castiel waits about twenty minutes before making his way into the teens bedroom, he wants more. What he saw him do to the mattress had been sinful and he needed to see more of the same. "Dean, are you awake-" he comes into the room, closing the door behind him and locking it. "Dean-"

The teenager is fast asleep, laying on his back- with the covers thrown off his body. It was hot and humid in the room- the air conditioner in the window was barely working, Castiel made a mental note to buy him a new one so he doesn't sweat through the sheets throughout the night. 

Dean rolls over in his sleep, almost completely drenched in his own sweat. "Dean-" he sits on the edge of the bed, nudging the boy awake. "Baby-" he opens his eyes in confusion, "It's just me baby-" he relaxes. "Take this off for me-" Castiel whispers, "You're covered in sweat-" the teen sits up and lets his step father pull off his shirt. "Those too-" he whispers, looking at his boxers- which he does take off and now he's nude. Dean's too sleepy to fight it, "Baby-" Castiel whispers again, his finger tips running up and down the naked thick thigh. 

"Hmm?" Dean blinks. "Somethin' wrong? Is it Bobby?" 

"No baby, he's fine." he tries to lay back but Castiel pulls him back up into a seating position, "Stay with me." he gently pats his heat flushed cheek. "Wake up-"

"What's goin' on- there a fire?" Dean rubs his sleepy tired eyes. "Cas, I'm tired." he whines, "If the house isn't on fire, I'm going back to sleep-" 

"I want you to touch your self-" he whispers into the boys ear and he instantly perks up, his cock giving an interested twitch against his thigh. "Touch yourself for me-"

Dean look him in the eye, "Why?" his face is going pink and this time it isn't due to the heat of the room or the humidity. "Cas-" he shudders. "I don't wanna-"

"Why not baby?" Castiel kisses his pink face a few times. 

"I don't wanna jack off in front of you-" he shudders again, "It's private-" 

"You don't have to baby." he keeps pressing gentle kisses on the boy, "You just turned me on so much today, when you humped the bed like that-" he whines. "What if you pretend I'm not here- "

Dean giggles because his earlobe is getting nibbled on, "I guess." he shrugs. 

"That's my boy-" he looks down, sure enough the teenager is hard. "I'll be over there-" he gestures towards the chair and small desk in the dark corner of the room. "Just pretend I'm not even here." he goes to make himself comfortable in that spot.

Dean leans back against the old headboard of the bed, his legs fall open slightly and he tries his very best not to look at the corner of the room where Castiel was. His sweaty hand wraps around his cock, he begins to stroke it gently. Up and down. Up and down. Up, twist, down. Up, twist, down. "Mmmugh-" the soft sigh escapes his moist lips. He feels like he's alone, getting more comfortable with every stroke. 

Blue eyes still watch him and he's stroking himself in the corner, watching. 

Dean lays on his back now, continuing the same hand movements, taking his sweet time. He's not eager to come, he's enjoying every sensation of his own hand on his cock. He opened his eyes for a quick second, he saw Castiel's hand doing the same on his own cock. "Mmm-ugh-" he moans softly again. One hand is working on his cock, the other lazily rubs up and down his own thigh- he brings it up to his sweaty chest and starts to rub his wet fingertips over his pale colored nipples. 

He hears the man in the corner sigh heavily, still watching him. 

Dean tries not to smile at the fact that he must be putting on a sexy show for the guy. "Mmm-ugh, daddy-" he suddenly rolls over, hugging the pillow he was laying on. His hips begin to rock forward, and backward- slowly. His legs are spread open on the bed as he humps the mattress and he wonders what Castiel gets out of seeing him do this. It doesn't matter because it feels fucking fantastic for him. The friction is amazing. 

"Shit-"he hears the man in the corner say. No matter what, they couldn't fuck right now. Bobby is home and they would make too much noise. This is better, much safer.   
"Ugh-" Dean's moan sounds almost girly, "Ugh fuck-" he grips the pillow harder, using it as leverage to hump forward. His orgasm is building in his core.

"Keep going baby-" Castiel whispers loud enough for him to hear. 

"Ugh-" he cries softly, "Ugh shit- ugh yea-" he keeps humping, forward, backward- beads of sweat roll down his freckled back. "Ugh-" he cries again, "-gonna come-shit-" he keeps humping until his orgasm hits and he comes all over the sheets underneath him. "Ugh fuck-" he sighs in relief, staying in that position. 

"Fuck-" Castiel whispers. The next thing Dean knows is his head getting yanked backwards by a large hand in his hair, tugging it. "Fuck Dean-" then he sees white, landing on his eyelashes and everywhere else. "Fuck-"

"Ahh-" the hand in his hair is tugging too hard. "Cas- that hurts-" the hand lets go instantly and he blinks away the burning tears in his eyes. Castiel wipes down his face with the bed sheets, "I can do it-" he takes over cleaning up his face. 

"Was that okay?" Castiel asks, pulling up his pajama pants. 

Dean shrugs, "Dunno what that was-" he looks confused, his eyes looking up at him. "But it was hot. You're a friggin' freak-"

Castiel sits on the bed, "You drive me crazy-" he runs his fingers through the teens sweaty hair to soothe the burn in his scalp. "If you didn't want me anymore-" he pauses, "I don't know what I'd do. If you ever left me for someone else-" his sentence dies down and he removes his hand from the boys hair. 

Dean feels a little afraid of him, "Huh?" he pulls the sheet over his exposed lap as casually as he can. Castiel has often expressed that if they ever broke up for good, he'd always be there- that he would respect his wishes, whatever they may be, that if he ever chose to end things, he would respect it and _now.._

They make eye contact, "I'd do anything to keep you." Castiel leans in and gives him a dirty kiss, Dean can hardly keep up with it. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you mine- are you mine?" Dean nods. "Anything you want from me-" he kisses him again. "I'll give it you- I'd do anything for you-" 

His neck is being devoured like they didn't just come two seconds ago, "Cas-" he tries pushing the man away. "-stop. You're not making sense-" when he feels the hard cock brush up at against him he freaks out, he can't possibly get fucked again. He's got nothing left in him. "Hell no-" he shoves Castiel away roughly. "What's gotten into you?" 

"You make so crazy-" Castiel tries to kiss him but he's rejected, Dean turns his face. "Baby-" 

Dean huffs a desperate laugh, "Cas- we fucked earlier." he whispers, "You just watched me get off, think it's time to call it a night." his eyes are wide.

Castiel nods, "You're right-" 

Dean grabs his hand, holding it. "What's going on?" Castiel shrugs. "No secrets remember?" 

"I don't want you to get bored of me." he admits, squeezing his hand. Dean almost laughs at his statement. "I'm serious, Dean." he looks at the teen in the eyes. "No one knows you like I do- you tend to get bored."

"What does that mean?" 

Castiel smiles, he's not angry. "Charlie, Sam, Jack- oh and you wanted for us to fuck Pamela together." 

"Oh-kay." Dean blushes, looking down at the sheet covering his lap. "Maybe you should just tie me down already-" Castiel looks at him, "Like marry me."

"Stop." Castiel smiles, shoving him playfully. 

"Seriously, you wanna make sure I go nowhere? friggin' put a ring on it." 

Castiel stands up, rolling his eyes. "Yeah I'll think about it-" he smiles. "Clean up this mess and go to bed."

"Don't you wanna marry me?" Dean stands up too, the sheet falls off his body and he's now exposed. Castiel looks at him in all his glory. "Do you wanna marry me?"

Castiel crosses his arms at his chest, "You're asking me to marry you?"

"Maybe I am-" he gets down on both knees, looking up. "Will you marry-"

"Alright alright-" Castiel yanks the teen up to his feet, "I'm going to ask you to marry me soon enough, don't ruin it." he kisses his forehead. "You're going to be my wife." he smiles.

Dean huffs, "Great- I'm the chick." 

Castiel laughs at his stupid joke,"You'll make a cute husband baby." and that makes Dean blush, "Love you, get to bed." he winks winks at him before leaving the young teen alone in the room once again. 

"Well shit-" Dean sighs, stripping the blanket and sheets off the bed. 


	50. Saint Dean

Late in the evening is when the hurricane came thundering down as they slept, the power had gone out as soon as the wind began to roar so they couldn't watch the news for updates even if they had awoken in time. Bobby, Dean and Castiel had been exhausted for obvious reasons- maybe not to each other but privately they knew exactly why they hadn't heard anything through the night.

It's not until afternoon when Dean wakes up first, completely and utterly famished. While he waits in the kitchen for his waffles to pop up from the toaster, he has a nagging feeling that tells him to go outside and have a look at the storms damage so he goes out to the porch and is surprised by what he sees. He had heard the loud thunder, the rain and the wind last night but he didn't think it was the hurricane, he thought it would be more... _intense._

"Holy shit-" he covers his mouth, there was a tree wedged in the front window of Castiel's living room from what he could see and his car wasn't parked out front- it had been relocated somehow, now in the middle of the road. "Cas!" he runs into the house, almost pouncing on his step father who lay asleep on the couch. "Wake up-"

Castiel opens his eyes, "What?"

"Don't freak out-" Dean tries to tell him what he saw but before he can the blue eyed man lunges up and runs outside. He follows stupidly

"Where the hell is my car?" he panics, Dean points to the road with a scared look on his face. Castiel was freakishly scary when he was angry. "Oh my God-" he blinks, staring at his car in the middle of the dirt road. 

Bobby comes out, he whistles from behind them as he witnesses the damage the storm had done this time. "We must'a had a tornado-" he says before going back inside. The volume on the television was loud, he was clearly listening to the news broadcast- luckily this power outage didn't last as long.

The two of them go inside dumbly, "How did we not wake up?" Dean shrugs. Bobby raises the volume even more on the television, the weather girl was talking about the hurricane, giving updates and saying that there may have been a tornado or two in their area.

"So we had a tornado and I didn't even wake up for it-" Dean says, "Least I can say I'm not scared of them anymore." the adults glare at him. "What! We got one and it didn't kill us." he smiles. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah it only put a tree through my window and tossed my car a few dozen feet." 

"Okay well there's that-" his waffles pop up from the toaster. "I'm gonna eat-" he leaves the living room to go have his late breakfast.

Bobby says quietly, "I know why I was so tried, why were you guys so tired ya didn't wake up when the storm hit?"

He looks over at Dean in the kitchen, shoving half a waffle into his mouth. "I wasn't feeling that great." he lies. The sun was out and it had returned to being a normal day. Bobby ended up bringing out his chainsaw and chopping up that tree that the tornado had thrown into Castiel's window. With Dean's help of course. The kid was a maniac, laughing as he chopped up most of the tree.

"Careful!" Castiel kept shouting over the sound of the chainsaw. Eventually the tree was out of the way, Bobby and Dean did the work. Castiel supervised since he wasn't the outdoor type anyway, never liked getting his hands dirty. At least not in this sort of way.

"That was awesome." Dean grins happily, putting the chainsaw in Bobby's truck.

"You're a psychopath." Castiel comments and the teenager laughs instead of getting offended. Bobby listens to their banter in silence as he measures the window for it's replacement. "Thanks Bobby, for helping me out-"

"We're all family here." Bobby mumbles, writing down the measurements on a small paper. In the meantime he boards up the window until he can get it fixed "That outta do it-" he tosses his hammer in the truck. "Better move that car outta the way so I can head into town-" Bobby climbs into his truck and starts her up, waiting for Castiel to move his vehicle. 

Bobby leaves and Castiel's car is parked right up front of his home like it had been before the storm. "Kinda ridiculous isn't it-" he says mindlessly, now sitting next to the teen on the porch steps. Dean gives him a look that's meant to say _huh_. "-I mean all these storms out here. The power going out all the time. We're so far away from everything-"

Dean smiles, leaning back on the wooden porch, propping himself up on his elbows. His eyes close in the late afternoon sunlight. "-and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

"You don't miss home?"

He shrugs, "The simple life's great Cas." he opens his eyes, looking up at his step dad. The look on his face has him saying, "You gotta chill, learn to relax." he closes his eyes again.

"Right." Castiel wrings his hands on his lap anxiously. "Don't you think it's boring out here?"

"For fucks sake-" Dean groans in annoyance, "You wouldn't be so bored if you cut the grass out there once in a while or did your handy work-" he smiles. Dean has been cutting the grass at Bobby's and at Castiel's place, since he was either working or couldn't be bothered to do the task.

"I guess so-"

"You're so depressing-" Dean lightly kicks the older man. "Lighten up-" Castiel isn't amused by it, something is bothering him and he wants to ask but the last time he tried to pry at his feelings he almost got abandoned. He decides to just let him be and enjoy the last few moments of sunshine. Eventually Castiel goes inside for a drink and when he doesn't come back he goes to investigate.

Castiel was on the couch, napping. The man never naps, he's always got all this nervous energy. If he's not working, he's doing something. The man can't even relax in peace, to him a relaxing time is reading a book on the couch or catching up on some new medical article that was published. He's worried but he lets the man sleep, he probably needs it. Hell he's most likely stressed out about the window repairs, the repairs his new car might need- it made the most terrible sound just driving up to the house from the road, and of course his _job._

Dean kisses the mans forehead and runs his fingers through his dark hair. Castiel sighs heavily in his sleep. "Love you Cas." he whispers before going back next door. Bobby wasn't there when he walked in, he had made a run into town to get everything needed for the window repair. He makes himself a sandwich before heading to bed at eight in the evening. It wasn't that late but he felt down and no one was around to bounce off of so he just called it a night.

He doesn't wake up until the next morning and he's surprised he slept so long, it's around nine when he makes his way to the kitchen for coffee when he hears hammering next door. From the porch he saw Bobby and Castiel outside the home, working to get the window fixed. He smiles sadly at the view and goes inside. After the window is fixed, Bobby spends the day out back working on a car.

He hadn't heard from Castiel all day and worse yet, his car was gone so he must have gone to work. Dean mopes around the house until Bobby makes a comment he doesn't like.

"Why don't ya get a job at the diner?" Dean squints at his uncle in the sunlight- ignoring the comment and continues working on the car before him. "Beats mopin' around here- just until school starts."

"Bobby, I have a job-" he says, wiping his dirty hands on a rag now that they've finished. He tosses the rag to his uncle who now does the same.

"I mean a little job that gets you outta the house-" he says awkwardly. "Ya been kinda down-" Bobby opens the small cooler and tosses the boy a soda can.

Dean pops it open and takes a chug, shrugging. "I'll ask Robin if I can bus tables or somethin'-" it's probably for his own good and his uncle meant well but he's feeling rejected by him too. It's been only one day without being all over Castiel and he's feeling broken, he can't stand it. They eat a quick dinner before heading to bed- Bobby stays up watching television in the living room.

There's a knock at the front door. "What are ya doin' here so late-" he let's Castiel in.

"Is he awake?" Bobby nods. "Can I go talk to him?" he nods again and sits back down to his program on the screen. Castiel shows himself to Dean's room, "Hey-" he opens the door and sees the teen laying on his stomach on his bed, with a magazine open in front of him. "Can we talk?"

Dean turns the page, Castiel could see pictures of cars on them. "About?" he doesn't make eye contact with his step dad. He's still sulking, he misses the guy but he's too much of a brat to let his hurt feelings slide just like that.

"I got you something." Castiel sits down on the bed, placing a small box on top of the magazine.

"What's this?" Dean looks at the box, then up at him.

"Open it." he smiles, crossing his arms at his chest. The teen carefully opens the box to see a silver ring band inside it, he runs his thumb over the smooth silver. "You did tell me to put a ring on it-" he chuckles.

"Damn it Cas-" he blushes, holding the box in his hands.

"I'm not proposing just yet so you can relax-" Dean sighs in relief, he's not ready for _that_ just yet. "I just wanted you to have something nice, besides you should have your own ring-" he grabs the teens hand and removes the previous ring he had given him, the one that belonged to his father. "Here-" he grabs the new ring from it's box and places it on his finger. "How's the fit?"

Dean nods, "It fits-" he's awkward yet again, just like when he got the other ring.

Castiel laughs again, "I hope you're more excited when I do propose-" Dean's head falls on the magazine in humiliation, "Baby- it's okay." he runs his hand through the teens hair. "You're adorable-come on, let me kiss you."

Dean lifts his head up and they share a quick kiss. "Thanks- I like this one better."

"It's inscribed-" he gestures to his hand, "-so don't leave it laying around for Bobby to see." Dean takes off the ring to look on the inside, it read _Love you always, Cas_

Dean smiles fondly as he holds the ring in his hands and comments, "This is so gay-" 

Castiel ignores that, "How was your day?" and changes the subject.

Dean sits up on the bed, Indian style. "Bobby wants me to get a job-" Castiel makes a face. "Yea, that was my reaction too. He's thinkin' the diner, maybe bussin' tables. I think he's gettin' tired of me always bein' around-"

"Baby-" he lifts Dean's chin up so their eyes can meet. "That's not true." Dean sulks, his shoulders drop. "Look at me, baby what do you want?"

He shrugs, "I guess I can give it a try. I think it could be fun to work with Robin for a while before school starts." he leans over, planting a kiss on his step father. "I get bored waiting around for you all day-" his face falls again.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize-" Castiel's hand is on Dean's knee.

"I mean, what did you think I did all day?" there's a pause. "Here, I help Bobby and there's stuff to do but back home- Jesus, Cas. I was dying before your eyes and you didn't even notice."

"Dean-" Castiel's guilt is evident in his voice. "Please don't say it like that-"

"It's true, where do you think all my problems came from? I was screaming for help-"

Castiel gets uncomfortable, shifting his weight on the bed. "Dean, I didn't come to argue- I just wanted to give you the ring."

"A ring isn't going to fix me." Dean whispers. "I need you."

"You have me." Castiel whispers back, giving Dean's knee a squeeze of reassurance.

"You'd do anything for me?" Dean repeats. Castiel nods.

"Then fix me-" he begs the man with his eyes. "Please."

"How do I do that?" His voice is soft.

"I just want you to be there for me-" Dean rubs his eyes, "We're doing good, then you go to work and you forget all about me-" he takes in a sharp breath. "-I know you gotta work, I know that Cas but why does working turn you into- fuck."

"Into what, tell me baby-" Castiel doesn't want to get angry, he wants to understand.

Dean shrugs, "You're all over me when you got free time Cas- then you're working, and you don't bother with me-"

He can see the pain in his loves eyes so he pulls him in close, cradling him against his chest. Dean starts crying softly. "I know baby- I know I have to do better." he rubs his hand up and down his back.

Dean pulls away, "I don't want to marry you if this is how it's going to be. I don't wanna be one of those cliche couples where the husband works all day, comes home and just crashes on the bed and I'm all alone."

"Dean-"

"I mean it Cas- you think I'm just curious or that I'm bored cause I fool around." he sighs. "But I'm not curious and I'm not bored. I'm lonely Cas-" a tear rolls down his pink cheek, "-I'm lonely all the time."

Castiel sighs heavily, guilty. "I'm so sorry baby, I'm- I'm so stupid."

"Maybe I'm just too needy-" Dean shrugs. "-dunno."

Castiel smiles, "Maybe a little." after a minute, "You better say yes when I ask you." Dean nods. "I'm counting the days." he knows he means the days until his birthday, Dean guesses he's going to pop the question then, maybe after closing his eyes to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. He's often imagined that's how it would happen, he'd blow out the candles and when he'd open his eyes- there would be Castiel down on one knee holding up a ring to his face.

"God I miss living with you-" Dean confesses. "Miss you so much-"

"I miss you more." he gives him a kiss, looking at the ring on his finger for a moment. "You're way too pretty to be crying, so stop."

"Shut up." Dean wipes his eyes a final time, "You're the reason why I'm such a girl-"

Castiel plays with his fathers ring as he kisses Dean and ends up pocketing it, leaving the boy with his very own. He stands eventually, "Gotta go home-" Dean nods sadly, looking up at him from the bed. "Don't look at me like that- " Dean pouts, making the man melt. "Baby please- don't do this to me."

"Daddy please don't go." he pouts. "Just kidding-" he smiles then, "Go home loser."

Castiel wills away the erection in his pants, "You're driving me insane-" he hesitates nervously. "- I'll call you." and rushes out of the room, Dean knows what he's going home to do right then.

The next few days weren't the best for Dean Winchester. Health wise- he was doing alright. Work wise, not so much. Dean had been unofficially working for his uncle Bobby for a few short months by now, everything had been going well- except for the work he'd done on the first few cars that hadn't turned out great. From then on, it was smooth sailing until today- he put in new spark plugs on a car and somehow, something went wrong and Bobby's client got stranded in town.

His uncle apologized for his nephew's mistakes profusely and promised a replacement free of charge. Bobby wasn't mad at him, it was just a mistake and patted him on the back, told him not to worry, that it wasn't the end of the world but for a teenager- any minor upset or let down sure felt like the end of it all.

Bobby went into town to help his client get back on the road safely and he was left alone at the house to sulk. Dean makes his way over to Castiel's since it's about the time he usually comes home, around six in the evening. He takes a seat on the porch steps and pulls out a half empty carton of cigarettes that Brady had bought him back when they had been friends. He kept it hidden under the bed, stuffed in a pair of the sneakers he rarely wears. Dean puts one of them between his lips, flicking the lighter, trying to make it work but the slight breeze coming and going every few seconds was making it impossible.

When he finally got a light, he inhales the smoke into his mouth- not his lungs, he learned that trick from Brady too. He's just going through the motions of smoking without trying to kill himself. That's when Castiel's car had pulled up right in front of him- he would stomp it out but the guy already saw him.

The engine of the car cuts off and he steps out of the car, "So this is what you do when I'm not around." he smiles. At least he wasn't mad. Castiel sits down next to him. "How was your day?" he gently pulls the cigarette from Dean's lips and places it between his own, taking a long drag.

Dean watches him, he kinda looks sexy with it in his mouth. "You smoke?" Castiel nods. "Always thought you were too much of a nerd-"

Castiel laughs, handing the cigarette back. "There's a lot you still don't know about me." he winks at the boy. "So- tell me about your day." he asks again.

Dean shrugs, taking a drag of the cigarette before handing it over. "I messed up on one of Bobby's cars today- chick's car broke down, he went to go fix it." Castiel nods, listening and smoking. "Maybe I should bag the whole thing and just friggin' work at the diner." after a pause he says, "I'm too dumb to be a mechanic, probably shouldn't even go to college."

Castiel looks over, handing the cigarette back. "I paid for your school, you're going." he states the fact. "That's the point of going to school, so you don't make these mistakes- you're going to learn a lot and I'm not letting you get out of it so get that idea out of your head." Dean nods. "I didn't raise a quitter." he wraps an arm around the teen.

Dean groans, "I guess-" they share the same cigarette for a while until Castiel speaks up again, breaking the comfortable silence.

"You still want to marry me right?" Dean looks over at him, surprised by the question- he nods. "You should probably do your communion- I've looked through your fathers papers when he left, I found your birth certificate and everything else but nothing regarding your communion."

"What the hell is that?" Dean squints, taking a final drag of the cigarette then stomping it out with his boot.

Castiel clears his throat, "You go to these classes at church- then you participate in this ceremony-"

Dean nods, "Then you eat that wafer thing- got it. You seriously wanna get married to _me_ , in a friggin' church?!" he bursts out laughing and that brings Castiel's spirits down, eventually he notices so he shuts up. "Sure Cas- I'll do it if it means that much to you."

He smiles at the boy and his eyes crinkle at the corners, "Thank you." then he leans over and whispers in his ear, "You're going to look so handsome the day of your communion- you'll have to wear a suit though."

"Don't wanna wear a suit-" he whines and starts stomping on a family of ants that crawl by with his boot.

"Dean, I'm trying to talk to you." Castiel's rarely used stern voice makes an appearance and it has the distracted teenager quickly refocusing on the conversation. "I want to sign you up for classes this Sunday so you can finish before your birthday." Dean nods, "Will you do this for me?"

"Yea-" he smiles beautifully, "- I will."

They watch the sunset as it descends upon them, soon becoming a night of stargazing. Castiel kisses him softly for a few moments before saying goodnight and sending him back home. Tomorrow was Sunday and they had planned to go to church in the morning with Bobby. Dean would be in his Sunday school class while Bobby and Castiel attended mass.

In the morning Castiel comes over to make sure Dean was awake. Which he was, he'd been in front of the bathroom mirror trying to tie his tie but didn't know how and he felt too shy to ask his uncle. "Cas-" he sighs, handing him the dark grey tie. "Can you do it-" he nods and proceeds to help him. His warm fingertips brush up against the teens neck gently, making him shiver. "This is kinda turnin' me on-"

Castiel finishes tying the tie and smacks his ass gently over the same slacks he wore when they poured his fathers ashes. "Come on, we don't want to be late. Bobby called Pastor Jim, you'll be allowed into class today if we get there early enough. I have to sign a few things before-" Dean nods, following the adults to the car- they took Castiel's.

Once at church, they find a parking space and Dean looks completely out of his element. "Shiit-" he huffs quietly, following his uncle and his step dad into the small Gothic looking building. "I shouldn't be here-" he mumbles, loosening his tie. "I'm hot-"

The two adults scold him and he shuts up, Bobby goes to sit down before mass begins while Dean and Castiel go to Pastor Jim's office in the back. "Welcome-" he says, offering them a seat in front of his desk. "So Dean is interested in completing his communion. Castiel nods, Dean plays with the end of his tie. They were given forms to sign and some information to read over. Dean merely glanced over it, this was for Castiel- not for him.

"I gotta learn all this?" he mumbles, looking through the small booklet of prayers. "In six weeks? No fuckin' shit-"

"Language!" Castiel hisses at him as he gets walked to his class like a toddler by his daddy. "Go inside and please don't get into trouble-" Dean nods, rolling his eyes. Castiel goes to join Bobby for mass and he walks into the class. As soon as he does, everyone looks at him and he instantly decides he will do anything so he won't have to go to college, he hates being the new kid on the first day of school.

"Dean Winchester?" he nods, taking the seat he's guided to.

Every now and then while the teacher speaks, another teenager glances over his way. He glares back but quickly cools it, he was told to not get into any trouble. Dean doesn't pay attention a word that is spoken during class, he just plays around with his fingers and the ring on his middle one.

Eventually he realizes that the reason the other teenagers are staring at him is because he's dressed up- while everyone was in jeans and polo shirts. Next time he's wearing jeans and a shirt from Castiel's closet, he doesn't want to stand out. As the class continues he decides maybe he should let Castiel dress him, maybe some polo shirts, some nice jeans. He wants to fit in, especially here where everyone seems too good for him.

The class ends and he's been given homework, great. His homework entails reading and memorizing the prayers on the small booklet he was given before class started. He gets up and does what everyone else in the room is doing, folding the chairs and stacking them up on a table- he folds his and stacks it up with the rest.

A few teens invite him over, _crap._

"Hey-" Dean waves shyly.

A boy around his age asks him if he's in high school, he shakes his head- saying he's got his diploma already. A different boy asks if he's going to college soon, he says yes and that he wants to study Automotive Technology.

"-yea, I'd love to be a mechanic some day. It runs in the family-" his words cut off when he hears one of the older boys in the class snort. Dean looks at him in the eye, "Something funny about being a mechanic?" his tone is defensive, harsh even, and the boy shakes his head in fear. "That's what I thought-"

The teacher is passing out small plates of cookies and kool aid, he declines but he's forced into taking the refreshments anyway. He stays among the circle of preppy teens until he sees Castiel by the door. _Thank God._

"Gotta go, my dad's here." he mumbles, even though he's sure no one probably heard him. "Get me the fuck outta here-" they rush out of the church and Dean tosses the cookies and drink into the garbage by their car. "This fucking place is a cult!" he says angrily. "-never comin' back here. "

Castiel yanks on his arm to hold him back, Bobby walks ahead and gets into the car to wait for them. "You promised you would do this for me-"

Dean wants to keep on being upset but the look on his step dads face has him caving and going back on what he just said. "Fine, but I'm not gonna like it." They join Bobby in the car and head to the diner for some lunch.

"What are you getting?" Castiel asks him, looking through the same menu he's seen several times. Dean's already got it memorized and hopes he can do the same with all those prayers in his book. Bobby orders first, then Castiel.

"Chocolate milkshake-" he pauses to think, "Fries and a grilled cheese-" Robin nods before heading back to the kitchen.

"Well-" Castiel looks at him expectantly, "How was it?" Bobby listens in as well.

"It was horrible Cas-" Dean looks sad, when his uncle isn't around he plans to tell Castiel how he doesn't feel like he's good enough to be in the class. "-everyone's all preppy and shit-" his food comes and instantly jams a fry into a puddle of ketchup. "-they kept staring at me-" his uncle and step dad who sit across from him on the booth, begin eating. "-why'd you make me dress up? I looked like a freak in there wearing this shit-" he jams another fry into the ketchup angrily.

Castiel shrugs, "Bab-" he retracts the affectionate nickname just in time. "Dean, I didn't know the dress code. When I went to Sunday school, we had to dress up-" he bites into his burger like he doesn't care about how stressed he is over this whole Sunday school deal.

"That was like twenty years ago, things are different now-"

"What do you want to wear for class?"

He shrugs, "The guys had polo shirts and khaki pants-"

"I'll take you shopping." Castiel takes another bite of his burger. "There, problem solved." Dean nods sadly and digs into his meal. After they finish, Castiel takes out his wallet and calls Robin over so he can pay for lunch.

"I wanted pie-" Dean says softly. Instead of paying- Castiel orders them all a slice of pie and some coffee. He doesn't know what's going on with Dean, he'd have to have a talk with him later. In private, without his uncle to listen in.

"Now can we go?" Castiel asks impatiently, they've been at the diner nearly two hours.

As he's dropping off Dean and Bobby he asks, "Can I talk to him for a while?" and Bobby allows it.

Once they settle in on the porch, they make sure Bobby is out back getting some work done before he begins the conversation. "What's wrong?" he asks the teen boy who sits on the rocking chair next to him on the porch. He shrugs, looking down at his dress shoes. "You can talk to me about anything."

"Cas I don't fit in anywhere-" he says in a way that sounds like he may just cry soon. "I don't know how to talk to anyone- how the hell am I gonna go to college." he shakes his head miserably." Castiel stays silent, listening. "I have no friends Cas-" he adds softly.

"Robin is your friend-"

"For fuck's sake Cas, she's a friggin' girl-" he crosses his arms at his chest. "I want a guy friend-" he adds insecurely, not knowing how he'll react. If he'll be jealous or not.

"I'm sure when school starts, you'll make a lot of friends- everyone in your class will be into cars. You won't stand out." Dean smiles then, just for a moment. "You're worrying over nothing, everything is going to be fine- baby." that makes the boy smile yet again. "Wait, was that a smile?"

"Shut up!" he covers his face for a moment until he's stopped blushing. "You're a good-" he pauses. "-dad."

Castiel smiles. "So why did you stay Sunday school was like a cult?"

"Because!" he yelps, half laughing. "They gave us cookies and cool aid when class is over- come on, the class is only an hour long, we don't need any friggin' snacks. "Maybe they put somethin' in the kool aid-" 

Castiel laughs then, "You know, there was a cult leader who brainwashed his entire following into committing suicide by drinking kool aid, he told them they were going to ascend to somewhere, I don't know-" Dean looks nervous. "-but that was a long time ago and the guy was insane. If it'll make you feel better, don't eat or drink anything they give you." Dean nods. He leans over to whisper, "I love you baby."

Dean gives him a pretty smile, "I love you too." after a few seconds he adds. "Daddy."

Castiel sighs, "Don't start." and stands up, "I better get home, tomorrow I have the day off and we can go shopping for new clothes." Dean nods. "Bye baby-" he winks. He watches his step dad get into his car and drive away. 

While they eat breakfast the next morning- a car honks outside and Dean looks over his uncles head to see Castiel's car outside the window. "Where's he takin' ya?" 

"We're going to the mall-" he shoves a few more bites of a waffle into his mouth before he leaves. "-he's getting me new clothes." and then he's off, out the door and getting into the car. "Missed you daddy-" he says flirtatiously, batting his eyelashes sarcastically because he knows it drives the man mad. 

"Can't you wait until your uncle can't see us-" he smiles at Bobby, waving at him before they drive away from view. Dean forces him to pull over at the end of the dirt road for a few kisses. "Dean-" he's kissing his neck. "Fuck I like that-" 

"Need you to fuck me-" Dean whimpers against his neck before he bites into the flesh gently, it ends up leaving a mark. "-please daddy." 

"Fuck-" Castiel groans, his hand finds it's way into Dean's hair and he pulls it. "You miss daddy's cock?" he nods, wincing at the burn in his scalp. "I'll get us a motel-" 

"Bobby will never let us-" 

"Relax baby, we won't be sleeping there- when were done I'll take you back home." Dean nods in agreement and he releases him from the gentle grasp. "Put on your   
seat belt." he says finally.

"Can't you come in?" Dean peeks through the curtain of the dressing room. An employee comes by and lets them know the out dated rule of _one person per dressing room._ "He's my dad, I need his help." the employee nods and let's Castiel go in with him. There Dean stands- wearing a forest green polo and khaki pants- "What do ya think?" he asks nervously, looking up at Castiel.

Castiel chuckles, asking him to turn around and he does. "Mmm-" he pushes Dean up against the wall and bends him over just the slightest bit, grabbing and massing his khaki covered bubble butt. The teen whines softly. "My little pretty boy- you look so good in these pants." Dean whines again. "I'd fuck you right here if I could-" he whispers it into his ear, before kissing it. Dean almost moans and he has to back away, leaving him touch starved. "I like it, get those too." he looks over at the pile of shirts and pants on the bench that he'd already tried on.

Dean blushes furiously and starts dressing in his own clothes- Castiel leaves the dressing room first with all the clothing in hand so he can pay for it. "Was it expensive?" he asks when he meets Castiel by the entrance of the store. 

"Don't worry about it-" he kisses the top of the teens head and does something that shocks Dean, he takes his hand and holds it while he leads him through the maze of people in the mall. He notices his worried face, "It's okay, no one knows us." the look won't leave his face. "Please, before someone thinks I kidnapped you-"

Dean smiles, "Right." they walk through the mall, going into a few more stores. After a while Dean's legs begin to hurt so Castiel buys him an ice cream and they sit down. He's on his cellphone as he licks his ice cream cone, it's not until he looks up he finds Castiel watching him like a hungry wolf. "Ew Cas-" he smiles, "-you're lookin' at me like some damn pervert." and he doesn't care, he lets his eyes roll back as he deep throats his treat playfully.

"Don't do that." Castiel whispers and focuses on his own ice cream. After a minute he says, "Why don't you ever suck mine like that?"

"You jealous of an ice cream cone?" he laughs, his step dad nods. "Well for one-" Dean licks his melting ice cream. "-you don't taste like vanilla."

"If i did-" Castiel licks his lips, fidgeting in his chair. "-would you suck it like that?"

Dean thinks it over for a moment, mostly just to be annoying. "Sure daddy." Castiel nods, crossing his legs under the table until he's able to stand again. After leaving the mall Castiel drives around looking for a motel. Once he finds one he gets out of the car by himself and goes to the little run down office where the manager was.   
  
"One room-" Castiel rubs the back of his neck nervously. It's not like they know who he's with or who he's bringing into said room he's going to pay for. "-don't know how long I'll be here but I'll pay for the whole night." the manager nods, taking his debit card and swiping it before handing it back along with the keys to room number nine.

Castiel gets into the car again and sighs in relief, the air conditioning cools him down instantly. He thought he was nervous until he looks over at the boy in the passenger seat, biting the skin on the edge of his thumb. "Baby it's okay." he parks right in front of room number nine. Luckily not many cars were in the motel lot. "Come on baby-" Castiel opens the door for Dean and they run up to the door of room nine, hand in hand- he gets it open quickly. "Take off your-"

"Cas-" Dean whines, he's nervous.

Castiel whispers, "Sorry baby- we'll take it slow." and cups the boys face in his hands, kissing him sweetly, gently to coax him out of the sudden nervous shell he found himself in. "This okay baby?" he moves to kiss the boys salty neck, it'd been so hot that day. "You like that?" Dean moans, nodding. He moves to palm his cock over his worn jeans, "This okay?" 

Dean licks his lips, "Ugh- yea-" he moans. 

"Can we move this to the bed?" He asks, they were standing behind the locked motel door. Dean nods his aproval. "Shh, you're okay. Everything's okay-" Dean nods again, biting his lip. He was still nervous. "We've done this plenty of times baby-" he whispers against the boys neck, peeling off his shirt- "What's the matter?"

Dean whispers, "Dunno-" he looks at the ground, then up at his step dad. "Feel like were doin' something bad-" he hugs himself. "I'm about to get fucked in a motel and then what, go home and practice memorizing my prayers?" he shakes his head.

"Baby-" he doesn't know what to say, "We can go home right now, just tell me- if you're uncomfortable we can go." he runs his thumb over his soft cheek, in comfort.

"You paid for the room-"

"Wasn't expensive-" Castiel whispers, pulling him into a loose embrace.

"Wanna stay-" Dean sighs, "-I want to be alone with you."

"Are you sure baby?" the teen nods, biting his lip again. "We'll go slow-" he nods again. "Do you want to get in bed?" he agrees and so he guides the teen out of his clothes into the plain bed, helping him lay back against the pillow. "Can I kiss you?" 

"Please." Dean says softly, the moment Castiel's warm lips press against his bare chest he sighs heavily. "Kiss me all over-" he begs gently. Castiel does just that, presses his lips against the freckled skin- down his chest- down his ribs. Dean's back arches off the bed slightly with every kiss, his ribs contracting as he's kissed lower and lower."Ughhh-" he sighs. "-mmmm-" 

"Everything okay up there-" Castiel hums the question against his hot skin, he dips his tongue into his navel for second.

"Hmmm-" he whines, his hips arching off the bed now like something down low wanted attention. Castiel holds him down by his hips, kissing his thighs- before opening them up wide- knees to the mattress. "Ughhh-" Dean whimpers sweetly, his eyes looking over his smooth body down to his step father's head between his legs as he devoured his thighs. "Fuck-" 

"You're so sweet down here-" Castiel gently nibbles and licks at his pink button of a hole. Dean loses it, softly whimpering and sighing into the stale afternoon air that was trapped with them in the motel room. The sunlight peeking in through the closed curtains. "Mmm-" 

"Ughh- shit-" Dean reaches behind his head and holds onto the pillow- he wants to close his legs, it feels too good, but he's being held open.

"Still nervous?" he asks the boy who shakes his head. "Good, because I want you to ride me-" Dean hadn't even noticed that he was being fingered until it rubbed against that sweet spot inside of him. 

"Ughh-God-" he cries softly, involuntarily fucking backwards on the two thick fingers inside his body. "-shit-"

"Think you''re ready for me now?" he asks, Dean nods frantically. Castiel moves over next to Dean and lays back, "Come on baby-" he helps the teen up on top of him, "I want you to ride me-" Dean's on him now, his cock easing into the hole that's never been more ready. When he's halfway in, he says- "I want you to hump on me, chase your own orgasm like you did when you humped your bed-"

Dean blushes, nodding and he bounces up and down on the thick cock that was in his ass for a while before leaning forward, over his step dad and he begins to hump him while Castiel's cock was buried deep in his ass. 

"Mmmmmm-" he moans, "-just like that baby-" he loves the feeling of Dean's cock rubbing up against his stomach, having his dick inside him right now was just a bonus, "-good fucking boy-" his hand finds it's way into the teens light brown hair and he pulls on it gently. 

Dean moans loudly, "Daddy-" 

"Yes baby-" the sound of his balls slapping the teens plump ass was loud in the quiet room, "-what do you wanna tell daddy-"

"Ugh shit-" Dean cries, humping into Castiels strong abdomen as the cock in his ass pushes in and out of him at an unrelenting pace. "-ugh- ugh- ugh-" he begins to cry out softly like he always did when he was getting close.

"Fuck-" Castiel grips the teens slim waist roughly, bringing him down and up as he fucked into his hole. "-come for daddy, you can do it baby- you're my good boy-"

"Ugh- fuck-" Dean's movements start becoming slower, he was so close. "-ughh- oh fuck- shit- gonna come- oh fuck I'm gonna come-" he breathes harshly against Castiel's sweaty neck, "-ughh- gonna come!" he cries out as his orgasm hits and Castiel comes inside his ass with a string of loud groans. "Ugghhhh-" he signs.

"You drive me insane, Dean Winchester." Castiel grabs him by the hair roughly, kissing him in the mouth with such passion until his high subsides. They both lie there looking up at the motel room ceiling while their bodies recover from what they had done. "Are you okay?" Castiel asks because Dean's on the other side of the bed and hasn't said a word since he came. "Did I hurt you?"

Dean shakes his head, "Hurt me? No." he huffs a laugh. "You almost killed me though, shit. What's gotten into you?" he rolls over until he's halfway on top of the older man, his bare leg draped over the lower half of his body.

Castiel smiles weakly, now running his fingers through the teens sweaty hair. "Guess I missed you-" Dean listens, tracing circles and pulling lightly on the mans chest hair. "Dean, those few years you rejected me- they weren't easy on me." Dean nods, still playing with Castiel's chest hair. "I was so lonely-" he adds, now he looks up into blue eyes. "I contemplated being with someone else-"

"You did?" he asks.

"Yeah- didn't know if you would ever want me again." Castiel admits, letting his hand lazily run up and down the teens sweaty back. "But I waited for you- I would pray every night, hoping you would love me again one day-" his voice cracks and he doesn't continue.

"I'm sorry Cas. I had no idea." Dean rests his chin on his chest, maintaining eye contact. "If it makes you feel any better, it was hard for me too." Castiel laughs softly. "It was-"

"I doubt that. You were always with Sam-" 

"Hey-" he says because Castiel has looked away from him, now that their eyes meet again he continues. "- no matter what happened those few years, it was always you."

"You never stopped loving me?" he asks insecurely which makes Dean smile and shake his head. "I never stopped loving you either."

"I find that hard to believe, I'm a nightmare." Dean smiles so beautifully then that Castiel has to pull him up to kiss him. "Love you-" he whispers.

"You'll never know how much I truly love you, Dean." he presses another kiss, "Never."

"Cas-" Dean chokes up, swallowing the knot in his throat. Right then Castiel's phone buzzes in his pants pocket that lay on the floor, they ignore it until Dean's phone starts roaring with a Metallica song. "Shit, probably Bobby-" they look around the room and notice that it's a lot darker than when they first entered.

"Get dressed-" Castiel orders, they get up and start pulling on their pants- which was hard to do when they were drenched in sweat. "Damn it!" he curses the air when he looks at his phone, it was almost ten at night. "Bobby-"

"He's not gonna find out-" Dean grabs his boots because he doesn't have time to lace them up, Castiel's already fumbling to open the motel door. 

"Wait here-" he parks the car by the office so he can return the key as quickly as he can, basically tossing it on the managers desk who just winks at him. Told him to have a nice night with his girlfriend. Apparently Dean Winchester sounded a lot like a chick when getting his ass fucked.

Castiel speeds back to Bobby's without getting a ticket and stops the car by the wooden fence, Dean opens the door- "Wait!" he hisses after the boy, "Don't forget your stuff-" he nods and gets out, rounding the car to the popped open trunk. He watches Dean run up to the house, shopping bags in hand. Castiel doesn't leave right away, he watches through the window- to see if anything is happening. Anything like Bobby yelling at him for being out so late or on the phone possibly calling the cops on him.

All clear- Bobby was nowhere to be seen from the window and Dean had taken a seat at the table to eat a sandwich. His stomach growls, he was hungry too after the wild day he's just had and goes home assuming they hadn't been discovered. What Castiel hadn't seen was while Dean was making his way into his bedroom he bumped into his uncle in the hall. 

"He get ya all that?" Bobby gestures to the shopping bangs in his hands. Dean nods. Bobby was distracted by the odd smell he had tracked into the house.

"What?" Dean says, taking a step back. 

"Nothin'- take a shower boy, ya stink like death." 

Dean nods, rushing through his bedroom door before he leans against it. His heart was racing and the bags in his hands drop to the floor. "Fuck-" he pants, hand over his chest. After managing to calm down he goes to the bathroom for a quick two minute shower because he's starved and dying for a ham and cheese sandwich. The last thing he'd eaten was that damn ice cream cone at the mall.

After dressing in boxers and a white undershirt he goes to the kitchen, passing his uncle watching television in the living room. As he's making his sandwich, he feels eyes on him- he assumed it was Bobby watching him, suspicious all over again but it was Castiel through the window. Eventually when he sits down and bites into his sandwich he sees the familiar car drive away. He shakes his head and eats his dinner.

Bobby fell asleep on the couch and he didn't disturb him, just went to his room- the shopping bags were still where he dropped them so he picks them up and puts them on his bed and starts to sort through everything. There must have been at least two new pairs of jeans, they weren't his style- these were skinny jeans, he's got three pairs of new khaki pants he assumes he will only wear to Sunday school. He also had five new polo shirts in colors he wouldn't really think to wear but did like.

After hanging up his new shirts in the small closet and folding up all his new pants and putting them away in the dresser drawers he lets himself fall onto his bed.

There's a knock at his door, startling him. "Yea?" he calls out.

His uncle peeks his head in, "Need anything before I turn in?" 

He shakes his head, phone in his hand- "No Bobby, thanks." Bobby doesn't leave just yet. "What up?" he swallows dryly and his uncle walks into his room completely, hands in his jeans pocket. The man never wore pajamas until he was about to get into bed, how uncomfortable that must be-is all he can think of right then.

"What is he like when it's just you two?" and they know who he means.

Dean shrugs, setting his phone aside on the bed and picking up the car manual he always looks through for tips and tricks on how to fix cars, trying to appear casual. "Dunno-" he opens the large book, "-he's alright I guess." he shrugs. 

Bobby sits on the edge of his bed and his gaze follows him. "If he ever- did somethin' to ya, somethin' weird, I want to know about it." _Crap.._

"He's not some pervert Bobby-" Dean groans, shutting the book and laying back in bed. "-and he doesn't do nothin' to me." 

"Ya swear?" 

He looks at Bobby, "I swear." 

"I know ya missed your last therapy session-" Dean groans loudly in agony. "You're goin'- she called today askin' why you haven't gone back and I told her you'd be goin' tomorrow."

"Bobby!" Dean complains, "I'm not ready to talk-"

"-about you lovin' him?" Bobby huffs. "You gotta talk about it."

"If I go tomorrow will you let me sleep?" Bobby smiles sarcastically, it runs in the family- and he goes. "Fuck- I can't wait until I turn eighteen!" he yells after his uncle and he hears him shout back for him to shut it and go to sleep. "Ugh!"


	51. Here Comes Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've created somewhat of a Prequel to this story. It's called- Broken Little Soldier, and it will be a multi chapter story sort of like this one. It will go through Dean's younger years. if you'd like to read that as well it will be linked here. I was rereading the beginning of this story and in my haste I realized there's not much backstory on John and Castiel, when they first met or how Dean and Castiel got close. Since I'm stuck at home and studying online now, I've got plenty of time and the idea just came to me.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776085/chapters/62603506

Bobby took Dean to the diner for breakfast before his therapy appointment and the boy does nothing but sulk and pout in the truck the whole way. Can't _we just reschedule?_ he asked. _Next week I'll go,_ he promised. _I'm not ready to talk about it yet,_ he confessed. When his uncle couldn't take his whining anymore he easily bribed the teenager with a crispy fifty dollar bill to shut him up, though he wasn't happy about it. 

"Quit your poutin'-" Bobby says, they're sitting in their usual booth and they've both ordered already. "-it won't be so bad, just talk to her. She ain't gonna bite-" he laughs.

Robin comes over and sets their breakfast in front of them. "Who won't bite?" She miles, inviting herself into the conversation.

"His therapist-" Bobby volunteers the information.

"Oh-" She smiles at Dean, "It'll be okay, just talk to her." she says before squeezing his shoulder and leaving them be. As if talking to her was so easy a task, she talks back and Dean wasn't okay with that. 

Dean eats his hash browns and eggs in silence, making a murder scene on his plate once again with the ketchup. He should probably mention that to the therapist. Whatever, it's not like he was some serial killer. Psychopath, _maybe.Killer, no way._ Insane, _only sometimes._

"Cheer up-" Bobby says, "-she's just gunna help ya." 

Dean nods, smiling. "Sure." he knocks back the last of his coffee and they head out, to his appointment. Going to therapy makes Dean feel like he's got some deep seeded issues, and he knows he does but that doesn't change how he feels when he walks into the office- like he's Ted Bundy or something. 

"So Dean, how have you been?" she asks him, note book and pen ready to go. "Why did you miss our last session?"

Dean shrugs, looking down at his boots. 

"You're safe here Dean, talk to me."

"I love my step dad." he admits, watching her reaction but her face doesn't change. "Did you hear me? I said I-"

"You love your step father, I heard you." She smiles, scribbling something down in her notes. "He seems to be a good father figure, aside from his very busy work schedule-" she giggles.

"Lady, you're not hearing me." Dean sits up, "I'm in love with my step dad." 

She blinks, "Like-"

Dean nods, "Yea- like that. I wanna marry him someday-" and he's blunt about it because he doesn't care.

"Wait a minute-" She's confused, trying to catch up with him. "Dean, you know I'm very supportive of your orientation. But marry your step dad?" she repeats.

"Yea- why not?" 

"I get he isn't your actual father- and you wouldn't be the first person to marry someone older-" Dean nods. "But- how do you know you love him like a partner and not just as your father?"

He groans in misery because he's asked himself the exact same questions many times before, usually in bed when he can't sleep. "Ya got me there-" he sighs.

"Okay." She smiles. "We can figure this out-"

He stops her, "But aren't you gonna call the cops on him?"

She leans back in her chair, her pen is ready to write. _Shit._ "Why would I? You being in love with an older man isn't a crime, unless-" Dean rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Dean, has something happened between you?" They make eye contact. "Dean-"

"No." he lies. 

"Then I see no reason to get the authorities involved, if something happened after you turned eighteen- well, I wouldn't be able to do much about that would I-" she smiles, he nods in agreement. "Tell me how it began-" she gets comfortable in her chair, waiting for the story. _Crap. Crap. Crap._

Against his better judgement he begins to cry, the ugly kinda crying. He hadn't felt like crying a minute ago but the tears came nonetheless. She waits for him to calm down, handing him the box of tissues when she realized he was nowhere near done.

After a while Dean uses a tissue to wipe at his eyes, "Sorry-" she reassures him that it's okay to cry and has him continue. "I was eleven, that's when I met Cas-"

"Your dad brought him over right? For dinner was it-"

"Yea, dad had him over to watch a football game. Mom wasn't happy about it." She asks why he thinks that is, he shrugs. "Cause it wasn't the last time he came over, he started coming over every Sunday to watch the game-" she nods. "- I didn't know much about him, obviously. I was too young to think about it much I guess." she nods. "I didn't even think my dad was gay-"

"Is he gay?" She asks, no judgement in her voice.

He shakes his head, "Hell no- think he was just usin' Cas. We didn't have a lot of money and Cas- well you know." She nods. "Think my dad saw him and dollar signs popped up in his eyes-" he smiles sadly, feeling sorry for Castiel at having being used by his father. 

"Tell me more about that-"

"Us not havng money?" She nods. "What do you want me to say-" he leans back against the couch, "-it was hard." she asks him to elaborate. "I didn't have a whole lotta toys to play with or food to eat. Happy now?" She nods, asking him to continue speaking about his step father- his first memory of them getting close. "-think I was drawin' a picture or somethin' and Cas came and saw me, helped me draw-" he wipes at his eyes again.

"It's okay, Dean."

"Think that was the first time he actually spoke to me, he avoided me at first-" She asks why that may have been. "-dunno. Maybe he doesn't like kids, the guy doesn't have any of his own."

"But he took you in-"

Dean smiles sadly, "Because he didn't have a choice. He's not a bad guy- when my dad left, what was he supposed to do, just leave me-" he starts crying again, his head between his hands, elbows resting on his knees as he holds himself upright.

"You think he only stayed because you didn't have anywhere else to go?" she asks in a soft voice.

"Yea-" he sits up again, anger builds up in his body but he keeps it under control because he doesn't want to scare her. "-he told me. We had a fight and the truth just came out." he wipes his nose with the tissue in his hand.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, I can tell he cares about you." after a beat she asks, "Do you think he shares your feelings?"

Dean nods, "He says he loves me-" he watches her carefully. "-like that."

"I hope nothing happens between you until you are eighteen-" she says cautiously, nervously. She hasn't dealt with a situation like this before, he can tell- she's going to keep quiet for his sake.

"Do you think he's using me?" Dean surprises her by asking the question, she asks in what way. "Dunno- maybe I'm just an easy target, I was abandoned by my dad for fuck sake- maybe he's just a pervert, took advantage of a lonely kid with no one else to turn to."

"Do you believe that?" she asks, blowing right passed the admission that something had happened between them already. 

Dean takes a minute to think about it, "No. I started it-" she asks how. "I always wanted hugs-" he hesitates, "-kisses- I wanted someone to love me." a tear rolls down his cheek. "-I wanted him to love me."

"I'm sure he loves you." she smiles, "You're a great kid."

He smiles back at her, "I guess-"

"Tell me-" she sits up, "-do you see Castiel as your father?"

Dean sighs, "Maybe when I was younger- he'd take care of me, still does. He treats me like a baby sometimes-"

"How does that make you feel?"

"Good-" he admits in shame, "-I like having him fuss over me. My mom never did when I was little, neither did my dad. I was so alone until he came along-" he blinks away fresh tears before they fall. "He's my everything- he's all I know."

She nods, "That concerns me, could you live without him if you had to?" Dean shakes his head. "Why is that?"

"He makes me feel safe-" Dean admits. "When he's not around, I feel lost- alone even. I'm living with my uncle but- it's not the same. Cas is my best friend too- I need him, even if we weren't together."

She smiles, "I'm glad you have him, but I'm concerned with your attachment to him."

"It's bad right-" he says, hugging himself.

"I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but Dean- you need to learn to self soothe and find the joy in your alone time, without Castiel."

"Why?" Dean says coldly. 

She answers his question with another question, "How do you feel when he leaves your side?" 

"Like I wanna die." he says truthfully, "Maybe not die but- I feel like he left me and he's never coming back, I know that's dumb-" she smiles at him, "-what?"

"We're getting somewhere. You were abandoned by your mother and then your father- it created this fear inside of you that whenever Castiel leaves your side, it makes you believe he won't be coming back." Dean nods, he'd known this deep down. "We can work on this in our next session-" she writes in her notebook and he knows their time is up.

Dean blurts out, "My dad died." she stops writing, looking at him. "A few weeks ago, he died- I keep forgetting."

"I'm so sorry-" she stands up, "We're out of time but, we'll discuss this next time. Please Dean, show up so we can talk more about Castiel, and your father's death-" her words die off and he nods before going back to Bobby who was waiting for him in the truck. Dean knew that Bobby didn't like waiting around in any sort of clinic type setting, though he didn't know why.

His uncle lowers the volume on the radio, "You were in there a long time-"

"I told her everything-" once he's inside the truck he breaks down into tears once more. They stay in the parking lot for a good long while, Bobby comforts him through it until he's calm enough and they go home. They pass by Castiel's place and seeing his car parked out front, "He's home-" he mentions to his uncle as they drive down the road. 

Dean's exhausted and refuses to have lunch, instead he goes to his bedroom for a nap that doesn't end any time soon. Bobby knocks at his door, "Dean?" he's got his dinner in hand. A hot dog and some fries. "Got ya some food." Dean hadn't realized his eyes were open so he closes them, so he can be left alone. Today's session had left him feeling empty and broken and he doesn't understand why. 

"Gunna just leave it here-" his uncle says, setting his dinner on the table by the bed before he leaves, closing the door behind him. The food goes uneaten and he doesn't open his eyes until the next morning. He'd only awoken because he hears the familiar banter of his uncle and step dad. 

"Cas-" he sighs sleepily and makes his way to the kitchen. "What are you doin' here-" he's hugging himself again, still in the same clothes he wore yesterday- he hadn't showered or changed into pajamas when he'd gone to bed. 

Castiel smiles warmly at him, "I can't come visit you now?" Dean nods, sitting down at the table after grabbing a cup of coffee. Bobby and Castiel share a look. "Bobby tells me you went to therapy yesterday, I'm sorry I couldn't take you-" Dean shrugs, sipping his coffee- he's so tired both physically and mentally. 

After a while Dean gets up and goes back to bed. "That was a bust-" Bobby sighs. "The kid's been upset ever since leaving the therapist yesterday."

"Do you know what they talked about?" Castiel asks, refusing breakfast since he was on his way to work soon.

"Not a clue, got in my truck and started cryin'-" 

Castiel feels sorry for Dean, he glances at his watch. "Damn it. I'm late, better go-" Bobby nods. "I'll come check on him after work." he pauses. "Would it be alright if I took him for the night? Maybe a movie would do him good-"

Bobby shrugs, "I guess." he wasn't that suspicious anymore so he's been letting things slide these days. As promised, Castiel comes to see Dean after work. "He hasn't had a bite to eat all day-" he says, letting him through the door.

Castiel sighs, "I don't know what to do with him sometimes-" and he feels guilty for saying that. He knocks on Dean's door, "It's me-" he walks in, closing the door behind him. "Baby, do you feel like coming over and watching a movie with me? I miss you." he sits on the edge of the teens bed, who is laying on his back- staring a the ceiling. "You're worrying me."

"I'm fine Cas." Dean looks at him for a moment before his eyes go back up to the ceiling. "Don't feel like going over Cas, I'm sorry." he sighs, turning on his side. 

"Was therapy that bad?" he places his hand on the boys shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Come on, anything you want to do? We could order a pizza-"

"Not hungry." he says softly. "I'm tired-"

"Are you actually tired or are you upset with me?" He knows Dean too well.

"Little bit of both-" 

"That's what I thought." he sighs, "What can I do to fix it?"

He rolls over onto his back again so he can look at him, "I'm confused- did you only stay with me because I had no one else?" 

Castiel tries to remain unbothered by the topic being brought up again, "No baby. I stayed because I cared about you." 

Dean pushes the subject, "-you didn't like me at first, did you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Cause. You wouldn't go near me when Dad brought you over the first couple times."

"I didn't know much about kids-" he admits. "-but I never not liked you."

"You gave dad hell for making you watch me the first time-"

"Dean-" Castiel's starting to get pissed off. "-please stop whatever you're doing, I didn't know how to take care of kids!" Dean flinches. "I'm sorry." he wills himself to relax. "Before I met you I was never around kids and then all of a sudden I'm raising one- and you come onto me-" he shrugs. 

"Well, fuck-" Dean says quietly, "-it sounds wrong when you say it out loud."

"Should I just go then?" Dean rolls over onto his side so he can go to sleep and that's his cue to leave. "Goodnight baby, I love you." he leans over and presses a kiss to the boys hair before he goes.

The next few days Castiel dials Dean many times, he doesn't pick up. Every time he comes before or after work to ask Bobby if he can see Dean, he's nowhere to be found. Supposedly he'd been spending time with Robin at her house. He doesn't know what to believe. When it's Sunday, Dean can't escape him. The teenager is pulling on his jean jacket as he walks down the porch steps, "You're going to class today." he stands up from where he'd been sitting on the rocking chair on Bobby's porch, waiting.

Dean turns around, "How long have you been there?" 

"An hour-" he looks at his watch, he'd been there since seven in the morning. "Let's go, you're not getting out of it. He grabs Dean's arm and guides him into the car, slamming the door on it. When they arrive at the church, Dean's glaring at him with hatred. "Stop looking at me like that."

"If I changed by mind about wanting to get married can I quit this shit-" Castiel is hurt by the question but he says no anyway. "Shit." his step dad gets out of the car and notices Dean's still in there so he rounds the vehicle and yanks him out of the car. "Watch it!" he hisses, straightening out his shirt. He's either going to wait out here in the heat or he's going in- he chooses to go in. "Wait!" he runs up to his step dad, following closely behind. Castiel has to walk him to the class room around back and stay until he goes in and sits down because he knows he'd escape if given the chance.

"It's not so bad." Castiel reassures him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Dean nods, smiling softly. "I'll come get you after mass."

Dean walks into class, late again and everyone stares at him- regardless if he fits in or not. He's coming to realize that maybe he's just a freak because he's dressed just like the rest of the other boys in the room and he's still getting weird looks. He's wearing a brown polo shirt, khaki pants and his signature boots. He's thinking maybe that's why he's getting looks, the other guys were wearing dress shoes or loafers and the girls were wearing flats. _Friggin' cult.._

The class was cut short due to technical difficulties, they were supposed to watch a video but the DVD player hadn't been working so they were allowed to talk among themselves. He looks at his phone, it's only been twenty minutes. _Come on.._

He's siting close to the group of teenagers but not really engaging, he just wants out. One of the nice looking boys pulls up his chair, "Hey-" he smiles. Dean smiles back, maybe he could be his friend. "Do you wanna join the church choir? It's pretty fun-" Dean shakes his head, he's biting the nail on his middle finger- he's so fucking shy around people he doesn't know or want to know for that matter. The boy keeps trying, "Come on. We need one more boy-" 

"What do I gotta do?" 

"Sing." he smiles and Dean shakes his head. "Well. I tried-" he shrugs, though he doesn't move his chair away from him. The boy continues talking to everyone else and Dean just watches them interact with each other and wonders what it must be like to be them and make friends so easily. Being here really makes him miss Sam, Jack too. 

The Sunday school teacher lets them have their snack early of cookies and kool aid before he releases them for the day. "See you next week!" 

Dean gets up and the teacher asks him to stay behind. "Am I in trouble?" he reluctantly stays behind, watching everyone else leave the room.

"No Dean, of course not." he smiles, sitting on the edge of his desk. "I wanted to ask you if you would join our all boys choir-"

"You need one more boy. Yea- gotcha. But I don't wanna." the teacher practically begs him to join. "-fine."

"Great! You can sing can't you?" 

It was a hidden talent he hoped would never see the light of day. "Yea, I can sing." he nods somberly, almost having a heart attack when he's informed that the choir boys meet up after Sunday class and practice where mass is being held. _Shit.._

He follows the teacher to the front of the church, where he knew Castiel would be sitting. "I'm not ready-"

"You'll do fine!" the teacher smiles, leading him up the steps to join the other boys of the choir and lucky him- he's placed right up front. Mass was over a few minutes ago and Castiel was sitting in one of the benches in the back along with the other parents who were waiting for their kids to finish choir practice. _Fuck my life.._

Since Dean was new to the choir, he's handed a sheet with the lyrics to the song they would be rehearsing. He gulps, making eye contact with confused blue eyes at the back of the church. Castiel probably thinks he can't sing for shit and it's time to prove him wrong.

The music begins and he follows the lead of the other boys, though the other boys sing insecurely and softly. Dean takes over and sings the loudest- his voice smooth as honey and loud. His green eyes looking up to meet Castiel's every once in a while- the man actually has his mouth open. You'd never think Dean Winchester- the boy with the temper and edgy looks would have the voice of an angel. 

They rehearse a few songs and when practice is over, the girls in his class come to gush over him. He blushes in the midst of the girls and notices that the other boys are staring him down. All except that one boy who invited him to join the choir- he's the only one who seems to be an awe of him, just like the girls. 

He assumes Castiel goes to wait for him in the car because he's vanished from where he had been sitting and he feels panicked, "Dean!" the same boy calls him over. "Come to the classroom, we're gonna have pizza!" he waves in the direction of the classroom.

Reluctantly he follows the group and the girls follow closely behind him, still gushing. Dean's new friend hands him a slice of pizza and they talk among themselves, he's guessing this boy became his friend because he doesn't quite fit in with the others either but he can't complain. All the girls give him their phone numbers on napkins- the boys notice this and resent him even more. 

When no ones looking he wipes his greasy fingers on the same napkins that had their phone numbers written on them and straight to the garbage they go because he's not interested in any of the girls here. He's already taken, even if secretly. The boys notice that too and begin to gossip about him. Dean over hears them calling him gay behind his back, overhears them laugh about how he walks- he has to get out of there before he slams all of their faces into the floor or before he cries. 

"See ya next week." he smiles at his new friend and takes off. Just like he thought, he see's Castiel leaning against his car waiting for him right outside the church. "Can we please go-" he yanks on the door handle of the passenger side. "Come on-" it opens and he gets in.

"Dean-" he's so amazed by the sound of his voice, he had no idea. "- I never knew you could sing like that, why didn't you tell me?" Dean stays quiet and Castiel peels out of the parking lot and they head for some lunch. After a few minutes of silence he says, "I've heard you sing before and it was nothing like that." he chuckles, "Why would you sing horribly in front of me on purpose?"

Dean shrugs, "Cause singing is gay." 

"Who said that?" Castiel looks over at him briefly as they pull into the diner for lunch. Dean's already had pizza but Castiel is famished. "Talk to me baby-" the cars engine cuts off.

Dean shrugs again. "I heard the other boys in the class talkin' about me-" he rubs at his eyes but he doesn't cry. "-they said I was gay and they said that I-" he stops talking.

"What did they say?"

"They said I friggin' walk funny!" he shouts. "They were making fun of my stupid legs-"

"Baby-" he has to try not to laugh himself, "-I love your bowlegs." and squeezes the teens thigh.

"I'm not going back there and I'm sure as shit not goin' to no friggin' college-" Dean gets out of the car and goes inside the diner ahead of him. When Castiel enters the diner a minute later he finds him sitting in their usual booth and sits down right next to him so they can talk.

"Baby-" he whispers, "-bullies are everywhere, who cares what they think." 

Robin comes over but doesn't disturb them, she brought Dean his usual- Chocolate milkshake and fries. Castiel smiles at her, ordering. When she's gone off to the kitchen he reaches under the table, rubbing up and down Dean's thigh.

"I hate them all." Dean says softly. "Friggin' assholes- they're the gay ones, I mean come on!" he hisses, "Who the hell dresses like this because they want to?" he looks down at his khaki pants and polo shirt. 

Castiel chuckles, "Don't listen to them baby." his hand moves up the teens thigh, cupping his junk. 

Dean kicks the table by accident, "Quit it." he whispers. "You're gonna get us caught-" right then the little bell on the door jingles, Benny. The cop quickly spots them and comes up to them. 

"Hey guys." Benny looks at the red faced teenager, "Dean, you doing okay?"

Dean nods, shoving a few fries into his mouth just o he has something to do. 

"Awesome- listen, can I talk to you?" the teen nods again, the cop looks over at Castiel. "Mind if we do that alone? I'll give him a ride afterwards." 

"Is that okay?" he asks Dean, who nods yet again. "Alright, I'll see you back at home." he stands, and shakes the cops hand- "Nice to see you again." -before going up to the front of the diner, asking Robin to pack up his food to go.

Soon enough his car is peeling away from the parking lot and Dean instantly feels lonely. Maybe he's really got abandonment issues like the therapist says. _Nah.._

The cop sips his on the soda Robin just brought him, "I wanted to talk to you about something." Dean nods, eating his fries in silence. "But first I wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear about your dad-"

"Not like he was around-" he shrugs, "Pass the ketchup." he tells the cop who hands it right over and now he's making a murder scene on his plate with it. The cops eyes follow every movement he makes. 

"Anyway-" he sighs, "I got a call about something." he's nervous.

"What? spill it-" he says impatiently, not liking any of this one bit. 

Benny leans over the table and whispers, "We found Gordon."

"So? what's bad about that-" he mumbles, shoving the last fry into his mouth.

"Because-" he hesitates. "We found him at a motel-" Dean looks up at him through his eyelashes. "-there were pictures of you all over the place. They were all candid photos meaning-"

Dean swallows, "He was watchin' me?" Benny nods. "What a freak-" he huffs a laugh, not taking it seriously or caring too much about the matter- as long as he was locked up.

Benny reaches into his uniform jacket pocket, pulling out a yellow envelope. "These are all the pictures we found-" Dean nods, taking the envelope. "I took copies so I could show you-"

Dean pulls out the photos, they were in fact all candid photos of him. But not only him- some included Castiel and Bobby. "What a perv-" he says, going through the photos and stopping on one of them in particular because he was shirtless- taken through his bedroom window. 

"I'm sorry-" Benny says uncomfortably. "-seems like he was watching you for a while."

"No shit." he keeps flipping through the photos with most being taken while he was out back helping his uncle fix a car- "He was obsessed with me." -while other photos were taking from outside his bedroom window, nude or getting dressed. When he can't bare to look through them anymore he stuffs them into the envelope and shoves it into his pants pocket.

"Gordon's not going anywhere this time." Dean nods carelessly because his attacker being locked up does him no good- he's already tainted. It doesn't matter how many showers he takes or how clean he gets, he feels dirty on the inside- where he can't get clean ever again. "Come on, let's get you home." 

Dean stands up, "I need to go to the bathroom-" Benny nods and off he goes to the back where the bathroom is. He locks himself in a stall- then he kicks it. "God please-" he prays softly, "Please-" he kicks it again leaving the stall to wash his hands before meeting Benny and going back. He wasn't there so he assumed he was now outside waiting for him. Dean's about to exit the diner when he sees a new waitress, a brunette who was tending to a small child who was sitting in a booth by himself, coloring.

"That's Lisa-" Robin comes up next to him with a pot of coffee in her hand. "- she just started here this week. "

"Whose that little boy?" 

"That's her son, Ben." Dean makes a comment about how young she is. "She's only nineteen and already has a four year old." she shakes her head before getting back to work and he watched them for a while- until Lisa turns around and notices him, she smiles before getting to work on wiping down tables. 

"Robin!" he goes to the kitchen even though he's not allowed. "You think I can work here?" she says they aren't hiring. "Part time, anything- I'll do anything." She nods and hands him an application, told him to bring it in tomorrow. "Thanks sweetheart." As he makes his way to the exit, he looks at her once more and she notices him yet again and smiles. _Somethin' about that girl.._

Benny opens the passenger side door of the police vehicle when he sees the teenager exit the diner. The whole ride home Dean's got the application to the diner in his hands and he notices, "What's that?" he asks.

"I wanna work at the diner-" he mumbles, folding up the paper and shoving it into his pocket next to the yellow envelope of the half naked pictures he had already forgotten about until just then. 

"Hey-" he laughs, "-that's awesome, your first job." after a few minutes of silence he mentions, "Your uncle Bobby told me about you going to Sunday school-" Dean nods, "-how's that going for ya?"

Dean shrugs, "It's like a cult in there man-" the cop laughs, finding his honesty refreshing.

When they pull up in front of Bobby's he cuts the engine, "Here we are-" Dean nods. "Listen, if you ever need anything. Just call the station, ask for me- they'll patch me through." Dean gives him a shy smile before he exits the car and the cop watches him until he makes it through the door/

"Where the hell were ya all day?" Bobby looks up from his tacos he was devouring sweetly at the kitchen table.

"Stayed after Sunday school-" he hesitates, "-I joined the boy's choir." Bobby drops his taco on his lap from bursting out into a belly laugh. "Hey!"

"Sorry-" he cleans himself up with a napkin, "-boy I've heard ya sing before and ya can't sing worth a damn." he doesn't mean to be insulting, from what he's heard he thinks he's in the right.

"I can sing!" Dean yelps, "Ask Cas, he heard me." Bobby nods, telling him he'd call Castiel later to get the dirt on his vocal skills.

Dean gets into the shower then and the first thing he does is cry- he's not exactly sure why but he finds himself begging- praying for some kind of miracle even though he doesn't know what he wants. What he wishes he had right now is a mother who loved him- a mother who would kiss away his tears and tuck him into bed at night. Just for tonight, he wishes he had that. That brief desire has him wondering where his own mother is right at that moment as he stands under the spray of the warm water. 

_Where_ is she? Does she have a _home?_ Did she _remarry?_ Does she know dad _died?_ Does she... _miss me?_

Dean blinks away a few tears, they fall down his cheeks and mix with the water going down the drain. Before he steps out he closes his eyes and whispers, "Please-" and he dresses himself in something comfortable to sleep in. It's not enough- he goes outside and stands on the front porch, leaning over the railing and looks up at the star filled night sky. "I need you-" he says softly. "Please help me." yet again he doesn't know who he means his words to. Maybe his mother, maybe God himself. 

He spends a good long while outside just looking up at the sky until he grows weary of waiting for his miracle so he goes inside, to his bedroom. As he lies in bed, his phone buzzes. 

**Everything okay baby?**

**Yea, all good**

He sighs heavily and the same wish returns, all he wants is to be laying right here in this bed, having his mother cater to him like a newborn baby. Not Mary though, he'd love a different mother. A mother who didn't abandon him. Dean feels like he could drown into the mattress right then and there over how sad he feels so he does something unexpected- he pulls on his boots and sneaks outside through his window. He needs love. He needs to tell someone how he feels. He wants to be vulnerable.

Dean slowly walks around the house in the darkness, peeking in through the living room window to see that his uncle had dozed off on the couch. _Perfect._ He runs all the way next door and lets himself inside.

"Damn it, you scared me!" Castiel holds a hand to his chest, he had been in the middle of preparing dinner for himself.

"Cas-" he says brokenly and his step dad automatically comes to his aid.

"What baby, what is it? Talk to me-" he holds the boys shoulders, looking into his eyes for signs of pain or something wrong.

"I want my mom-" he says before he starts crying, covering his face with his hands. "I want my mom-" he repeats through his sobs.

Castiel sighs, "Baby-" he pulls him close, hugging him tightly against his own body. "I'm sorry she's not here-" he stands there patiently, running his fingers through Dean's hair that was starting to grow longer than he'd like. "Baby-" he sways them. "Are you okay?" 

Dean shakes his head, peeling himself away from the embrace and looks up into those blue eyes. "I'm never gonna be okay-"

"Don't say that-" he runs his thumb over his cheek to brush away his final fallen tear. "-I love you."

"It's not enough." he says bluntly.

"Excuse me?" his tone unintentionally harsh. "I've given you everything, I-I-" he stutters, "-I've given you all of my love and then some-"

"I know Cas. I'm grateful, don't get me wrong-" Castiel looks away, upset. "Don't be mad at me, I'm just being honest." 

Castiel nods, smiling softly though he can still tell his comments have upset him. "You better go home before Bobby gets worried-" and Dean knows he's being told to go back home for his own good, but he feels like Castiel is turning him away. Castiel kisses him on the lips gently a few times, "Go baby, I'll check in with you before I go to the hospital."

Dean nods, "I love you." 

Castiel nods, guiding him to the door- "I love you too baby, take care." 

_Take care.._ the words hurt him for some reason. They make him feel more alone than he already was. It felt like goodbye. His mind knows it's not like that, this man wants to marry him one day- hopefully after his birthday and all he can hear is his anxiety telling him it's all a lie. That no one loves him- everyone is going to leave. 

"There you are-" Bobby sighs, "-thought ya ran away on me, was lookin' for ya all over." he then chuckles, "Go on to bed, it's late. Tomorrow I need your help with-" his uncles words die off, becoming a buzzing sound in the back of his head. _Run away.._

"Sure Bobby, I'll help you." He agrees to the task without even knowing what it was. "I'll be up bright and early-"

"That's my boy-" Bobby ruffles his growing hair, "Time for a hair cut-" he laughs. Dean goes to his room, leaning against his locked door. Before he knows what he's doing he grabs his backpack and shoves a few things in there. Two shirts, pair of jeans, his phone's charger- his eyes scan the bedroom, looking for anything else to take but he finds nothing worth holding onto. The ring Castiel gave him, that he doesn't need to pack since he's wearing it right now.

After zipping up his backpack he dresses as fast as he can and waits for his uncle to go to bed. Once he hears the bedroom door slam shut across the hall he exits through his bedroom window- throwing his backpack over his shoulder and makes a run for it. This is risky and he has no idea where he's going or what he's going to do- he has no idea what possesses him to do these things, he just does them without thinking.

He's not even up the road when he gets tired, so he walks the rest of the way to nowhere. Eventually he ends up at the diner, it's early in the morning when he enters and the door jingles. "Robin!" he calls her. "Do you have a pen?" he asks, holding up the application. She smiles and goes to fetch one for him.

Dean sits at his booth and orders a coffee, extra cream and sugar. No breakfast. He's only got two hundred dollars on him and he has to make it last for who knows how long, luckily Bobby was paying him here and there for the work he was doing on the cars. He takes his time filling out the application, eventually Lisa comes over with a coffee pot in her hand. "Can I give you a refill?"

He looks up at her dumbly, she's pretty. "Uh-" he agrees to a refill when she mentions that it's free. "Thanks-" she leaves him be and he watches her little ass walk away in that little uniform skirt. "Shit-" he refocuses on the application until he's done filling out all the blanks and hands it over to Robin. "Am I hired or-" he's never had a legit job so he doesn't know how this all works.

"Dean." she places her hand on his shoulder, "We'll call you." and she giggles. Dean thanks her and leaves, backpack over his shoulder. There wasn't much in it but it was weighing on him. 

His cellphone rings, it's Bobby. _Shit-_ they must know by now he isn't home. Castiel rings him next. _Double shit._

It's only nine in the morning, on a Monday and he better get out of there before they both come looking for him because he knows they will. Dean walks away from the diner mindlessly until he winds up by the train tracks. He stares at them cautiously, like he'll burst into flames if he walks over them. Flashes of Gordon pop into his mind- the smell, the feeling, the pain- it's coming back and it's real. 

His stomach growls and he keeps walking, wishing he had a big dinner the night before but he didn't because he hadn't planned on running away. The last thing he had to eat were those fries while he was talking to Benny. Shit, he forgot to tell his uncle and step dad about the photos, about Gordon getting arrested once again.

Dean keeps walking, passing the train tracks and eventually makes it unto a street that's pretty empty. A car honks at him and stops, he looks at the driver- a man, he rolls down the car window. "What are you going out here all by yourself?"

He shrugs. "Just walkin'-"

"Need a ride?" Dean knows he shouldn't but he agrees and get's into the car. It was nice, must have cost him a lot. "So-" the man eyes him up and down, it makes him feel weird. "Anywhere in particular you wanna go?" Dean shrugs, hugging the backpack on his lap- the pocket containing his cell phone buzzes yet again. He's got no idea what he's doing in this mans car or why he even ran away in the first place. 

Thoughts about Sunday school, the boys choir and going to college later this fall are running through his crowded mind. Eventually the man parks in front of a busted up old motel. "How much?" the guy asks him. 

"Huh?" the mans large hairy hand ends up rubbing up and down his thigh, "Oh you think I'm a-" the man nods hungrily. "Yea-" Dean laughs, "-I'm not."and he punches the guys nose hard enough to break. "Friggin' creep-" he gets out and makes a run for it. The man yells something he couldn't understand because he was already too far away.

Dean goes into a gas station across the street, making a quick run for the bathroom to run his burning hand under cold water. Again he closes his eyes and prays, "Please-" then he dries off on way too many paper towels. When he exits the bathroom, the cashier is eyeing him because he did look sweaty and gross from all the walking he's done so far. Just to keep the guy from getting the wrong impression he buys a few snacks, that makes the cashier smile. "Have a nice day." he says.

Dean takes his goods with him, eating a chocolate bar as he wanders around. The idea that he may never see Castiel or Bobby again doesn't cross his mind, he doesn't care in the moment. He comes across a sign that lets him now he's two towns over and he scratches his head in confusion. Dean hadn't thought he had walked that far away in less than a day. But it had been all day- the sun was going down now, horns were blaring in the distance, so were sirens and he's feeling scared.

Reality of what he's done is hitting him like a ton of bricks so he pulls out his cell phone to call for help. It's dead in his hand. "Fuck-" he looks around at the sketchy people walking all around him that hadn't been there before. "Shit-" and he runs off to find a place. Any place with a damn phone. Soon he finds a different gas station and he begs the cashier for help. "Please I need help-" he pants, forgetting to ask to use their phone. "I need help- I'm scared- I don't know where I am-" 

"Do you need an ambulance?" the cashier asks him nervously, already reaching for the phone.

"No-" he regains his breath, calming down. "-just need to use a phone. Mine died." he holds up his cell to the guy who now nods, pushing the phone towards him. "Thanks man-" Dean grabs it and quickly dials his step dad by memory, he's had the same phone number since forever. 

Castiel quickly answers the call, "Dean-" he sighs in relief. "-where the hell are you baby?" he whispers into the phone. His guess is that maybe he's at the hospital working or maybe with his uncle. "Baby?"

Dean turns away from the cashier whose watching him, "I need you to come get me-"

"Where are you?" he whispers again, "As soon as I'm done here at the hospital I'll come get you baby-" he listens to Dean telling him where he is, two towns over- maybe an hour and a half away. "-damn it Dean, why-" he pauses to exhale. "-it doesn't matter. I'll come get you soon, stay put." they're about to hang up when he says, "Dean, I love you-"

Dean nods frantically as if his step dad could somehow see him, "Yea- yea, me too." he hangs up and gives the phone back. "Thanks-" he says before heading towards the back of the store to the bathroom. He needs to clean himself up as much as he can before Castiel sees him. Dean locks himself in one of the stalls, trying not to breathe in too much because of the horrible smell that was lingering in the confined space.

He peels off his sweaty shirt and pulls on a fresh one, his jeans are kind of dirty but it wasn't too bad and washes his face with warm water in the sink before heading out. Dean ends up buying a soda and a bag of chips to hold him over until he's picked up. After paying for his dinner he sits down on the curb right outside the small gas stop and digs in, trying his best to ignore the people walking by him and giving him that look- the one that says _sorry._

The sun is completely down now and the city is scarier that it had been, it was ten in the evening and he knew this because he asked some lady for the time. Castiel should have been here by now. He called him nearly two hours ago. Dean unlaces his boots and reties them just so he has something to do. Eventually he ends up biting his nails and quickly stops from doing that- his hands have been everywhere today, even if he did wash them before eating. 

Dean stands up and begins pacing around the parking lot, some guy gave him a five dollar bill and another lady gave him a twenty. He smiles and thanks them but he didn't need their money, he needed his step dad to come save him. He gives up when it's almost midnight and decides he should try walking home and he's just leaving the gas station when a car honks at him. _Cas.._

Castiel parks right in front of him and he rushes into the car, once he sits on the leather seat and feels the cool air from the vents hitting his face he sighs deeply.

"Baby-" he whispers, leaning over and cupping the teens face in his hands. "-why did you do this? I was worried sick about you-" Dean looks up at him, his eyes starting to water. "-Bobby called me when I was already at the hospital, I couldn't leave-"

"Cas-" Dean's voice cracks, "-I don't want to go back to Bobby's tonight."

Castiel nods, "I'll see if there's a motel around here-" he starts the car and peels away from the gas station, eventually ending up in the same motel where that one guy thought Dean was a street worker. "This place okay?" he asks the teen next to him, looking around at the motel and not liking what he sees. It was worse than the other place he'd taken the boy to last time.

"Don't care." Dean shrugs. "It's fine."

"What's wrong?" Castiel asks him, reaching over to kiss him on the lips now that it was dark enough in this parking lot and no one was walking by the car. "Tell me-" 

"This guy I met today gave me a ride-" Castiel nods, listening. "-he brought me here. Thought I was-"

"Alright-" he sighs, peeling away from this parking lot as well. After a while of driving they end up at a hotel, a nicer one. "How about this place?" the teen quickly nods, getting out of the car and throwing his backpack over his shoulder. Dean needed this tonight, a nice place to spend some time with the man he loves. Castiel gets out of the car and wraps an arm around him as they walk inside.

The man at the front desk lifts his eyes from his computer screen and greets them, "Good evening, one bed or two?" he asks, not caring about their situation one bit and they were both happy for it. 

"One-" Castiel says, fishing for his card inside of his wallet and handing it to the man. "Room service?" he asks, the man nods. "Great-" he takes the card key and guides the teenager towards their room. _Room 29._

"Wow-" Dean says when he gets a look at their room for the night. The bed was enormous and the bathroom was fancy, he's never seen anything like this before. "Shit-" he huffs after seeing the jacuzzi in the bathroom. 

Castiel enters the bathroom, coming up behind the teenager and hugs him from behind, whispering into his ear softly. "We could get in if you want to-" Dean grows shy yet again but he nods in agreement. "Can I take this off baby?" he asks in regards to his clothing and once he's given the all clear he begins to peel off the teenagers shirt, then his jeans. Dean helps him the rest of the way and takes off his boots so he can kick off his pants. "You're so pretty-"

Dean closes his eyes as his step father kisses his neck softly, down to his chest. "Ugh-" he whines sweetly. 

"Take those off too baby-" he looks at Dean's boxers as he undresses himself. Once he's standing there naked, Dean watches him turn on the water in the large tub. "Come here-" the look Castiel has in his eyes is something else, he's hungry. "-don't be scared, it's just me and you." he whispers, holding him close- his nose in Dean's hair. "We have to cut this hair soon." he mentions, running his fingers through it.

Dean nods, "Yea-" he's blushing. "I'm nervous-" Castiel asks why and he shrugs, his hands cupping his junk. 

"Is it the hotel?" Dean nods, "I know it's unfamiliar but it's nice, isn't it?" Dean nods again. "Why don't you get in baby, I'll come join you in a minute-" Dean gets into the large tub and leans back against it, enjoying the warmth of the water on his skin. 

Castiel comes up behind him a few minutes later and Dean on instinct moves a little bit in order to make room for the larger man. Once he's inside, Dean leans backwards against his chest now, strong arms wrap around him and he sighs. "Relax baby." he orders, the words tickle his ear. They stay like that for a while until Castiel begins to massage the teenagers shoulders gently, making him whimper. "Shh, baby- just relax."

"Cas-" Dean moans, his step fathers large hands have found their way to his chest and now rub his wet nipples underneath the warm water. 

"Feel good?" he nods, "How about this?" one of his hands slides down and wraps around his hardening cock, stroking slowly. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans, he's sliding down Castiel's body when strong hands lift him up and he feels something hard and thick poking his hole. "Shit-" he braces himself for it, meanwhile wrapping an arm around Castiel's neck for leverage, planting his feet firmly on the tubs floor. "Ugh-" he winces, he's extremely tight. "-fuck."

"Baby, just relax-" Castiel groans, Dean's opening up for him beautifully without any prep. "-you feel so good, fuck baby-" the moment he makes it all the way into that heat, he slams into that sweet spot that was hidden inside the boy.

"Ugh!" Dean cries out, "Fuck-" Castiel's pace quickens and he's hitting that spot every single time he slams in. "Oh shit-" he whines, his head bobbing all over the place as he gets fucked. The water in the tub kept splashing over the edge every time Dean was slammed down against Castiel's lap. "Ugh-ugh-ugh-mmm-"

"So fucking cute-" Castiel grits into his ear, his hands firmly on the teens waist. "-love this body so fucking much."

"Nggnnn-" he keens, "-daddy." the name comes out on accident and that drives his step father mad. 

"You love daddy don't you?" he asks the question roughly to the teenager bouncing on his lap who nods in agreement, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "Fuck you drive me insane-"

"Yea-ugh-" Dean moans like a whore every time the cock in his ass hits that spot, which is every time. This angle was amazing. "-fuckin' gonna come."

"Come baby, come for me-" Castiel groans loudly. A few more pumps into that ass that comes crashing down on his cock and he's shooting into the heat with such passion. Dean soon follows, shooting ropes of creamy white into the water in front of him and makes the most beautiful sounds as he does so. "God, I love you-" Castiel sighs weakly, hugging the teenagers spent body against his chest.

Dean's panting, "Ugh shit-" then he laughs softly. "Fuck- you're an animal, Cas." he turns his head to weakly kiss at the man's face. Castiel closes his eyes, enjoying the kisses and his heart swells with pride. "You sure didn't fuck me like this when I was-"

Castiel chuckles softly, "I don't have to be so gentle with you anymore." his large hand rungs up and down Dean's chest and flat stomach. "I love your body-" he comments suddenly.

Dean grows shy again, "I gained like twenty pounds-" Castiel smacks his thigh under the water, making the funniest sound. "-the fuck was that for?"

"I always loved your body, twenty pounds ago and now." he says that in Dean's ear. "You're healthy right now and I love it." He nods, still insecure about the twenty pound gain. 

"I thought you liked me skinny-" Dean says softly, Castiel shakes his head. 

"I love your body no matter what but It makes me happy that you've gained weight-" Castiel reaches down and squeezes his ass. "-there's more to grab." Dean bites his lip anxiously. "Stop whatever you're thinking-" he kisses his temple. "-you're not fat at all."

"But I'm chubby." Dean states.

"You're not chubby-" Castiel kisses his temple again. "-and don't start with me or else I'm going to have to spank you."

Dean laughs, "Yea right-" 

Castiel reaches over for the mini shampoo bottle and gets to work on lathering Dean's hair. "I love you-" he says softly, now working on washing the teens body. "-so much."

Eventually they finish in the bathroom and are now relaxing on the large bed, both of them wearing the hotels robes since they didn't have a change of clothes.

"Cas, I'm sorry-" he whispers once they're cuddled in close to each other. 

Castiel nods, "We can talk about this tomorrow baby." he kisses his damp hair. "Go to sleep-" Dean nods, closing his eyes. The next day Castiel shocks Dean by calling in sick for the day. 

"I want to be there for you baby, I know you need me." he whispers in Dean's ear after calling the hospital and lying about why he wasn't going into work today.

"Mmmloveyou-" he teen mumbles against the pillow before falling asleep again.

When Dean finally wakes up, he's confused about what day it had been and where the hell he was until Castiel comes into the room to check on him. "Hey-" he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What day is it-"

"Tuesday." Castiel watches him closely, he's holding a coffee cup in his hand. "You slept all day." now looking over at the window where the sunset was gleaming behind the sheer curtains. "Bobby's been calling-" 

Dean takes the coffee from Castiel's hand and gulps it down what was left of it, "I bet he has." and hands it back to him before slowly getting up from the bed, stumbling his way to the bathroom. Castiel follows, waiting outside the door for him. "Shit, what are you doin-" he shoves the man aside when he opens the door.

"Dean, we need to talk."

"Let me guess." Dean sits down on the bed, now dressed in the same clothes he was wearing yesterday, now lacing up his boots. "You're breaking up with me-" he pretends to be shocked. 

"No baby that's not it-" he sits down next to him. "Why would you think that?"

"Uh, cause you basically said if I fuck up you're leavin' me and I fucked up-" he says. "-big time."

"Are you okay?" he looks closely into Dean's eyes, pupils are fine. "Why are you acting this way-"

"Who the fuck cares-" he gets up and starts to look through his backpack for something.

"Stop-" Castiel orders, "-sit down." the teen comes back and sits. "What's going on?"

"I wanted out alright." he admits. "I hate all those friggin' guys at church, they think they're better than me in their nice clothes and rich parents- I don't fit in anywhere Cas." Castiel listens. "I feel like-" he shakes his head, not wanting to say it.

"Say it baby." he reaches over to hold his hand.

Dean looks him dead in the eyes and says, "I feel like maybe everyone would be better off if I wasn't here." Castiel inhales a breath, not liking what he's saying. "Maybe I'm a mistake." after a second he shrugs. "Dunno-"

"Dean, please don't talk like that-" he squeezes the hand he's holding. "-you know the reason your mom left had nothing to do with you-"

"Wasn't it though?" he whispers. "She didn't love me, I always knew it."

"She must've left because of John." 

"John treated you like shit and you found a way to stay-"

"I can hold my own." Castiel smiles, "Besides, I gave just as good as I got." Dean's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. "Besides, I couldn't leave this sweet face behind-" he leans over to kiss Dean's forehead. "-couldn't imagine living my life without seeing this face every day." Dean smiles weakly. "Would it be okay if I move up your therapy appointment?"

"Yea." he agrees. "But I want you to take me-"

"Of course baby." Castiel kisses him and pulls out his phone to make the call while Dean listens in on the phone conversation between his step dad and his therapist. He's not no clue how in the world he's going to break it to this man that he's told her about _them._


	52. Exiled

Dean was starting school in a few short weeks and he hadn't been happy about it as he counted down the days with dread. He kept cursing out his uncle for no reason, slamming doors that didn't need to be slammed, breaking things that didn't need to be broken which Castiel quickly replaced for Bobby or gave him the cash in exchange for the loss. The guy was down to his last lamp in the house which he did take into his own room in order to save it's life, after all it belonged to his late wife.

The time for therapy had come and he didn't want to go, yet again. The last time he'd actually kept an appointment was three weeks ago and he missed it for two reasons, one being that he was now working at the diner and two, because Castiel was going to be attending that particular session and he didn't want him to find out that he'd confessed his love for him to his therapist. 

"You're going and that's final!" Castiel yelled.

"Fine!" Dean slammed his bedroom door. But it wasn't _fine,_ and he didn't go.

Castiel and Bobby didn't know how to deal with him as of late and they couldn't understand why therapy seemed to be making things a lot worse. Certainly his fathers death had an affect on him even if he wasn't the best father, it was still a loss regardless of the issues between them. Bobby was growing scared of upsetting him at all so he learned to just let him have at it. He let Dean yell and kick things around when he was angry, though his guns remained under lock and key, for their safety of course. It probably wasn't necessary to forbid him access to the guns but he thought it was better to be safe now rather than sorry later.

Dean's at the diner working when Castiel showed up after leaving the hospital extremely early that day. He sees him sitting at a booth having coffee and a slice of pie when he decides to go say hi. "Need more coffee?-" he asks his step dad. "-refills are free."

Castiel nods before whispering, "You look so cute in your uniform." 

Dean blushes, "Shut up." he grits before going across the diner to wipe down some tables.

He was wearing black jeans and a plain white shirt with the diner's logo printed on it. Bobby had come around to visit him at work a few times, while this was Castiel's first time seeing him in action. The job was easy enough- clear out and wipe down all the tables, take out the trash, clean the bathroom. His job was very mediocre and easy. _Too easy._ Robin clearly had more tasks than he did- she would take orders, bake the pies and sometimes would help out in the kitchen when one of the cooks was out for the day.

Even though Lisa worked the least, Dean enjoyed whenever they had a shift together. As far as he knew, she was a single mom and she too would take orders and help out in the kitchen. Dean looked for any excuse to go back there and chat with her. He didn't know why he was drawn to her, he was secretly taken but there was something about _her._

Maybe it was her nurturing nature that he would witness when she interacted with her little boy. That was the thing though, whenever she was working- her son was around as well, he'd be in one of the booths at the back of the diner, coloring in his coloring books or playing with toy cars. Dean sat down one day to play with him and for some reason Lisa didn't like that so he didn't do it again.

On a different day Dean enters one of the rooms in the back of the diner they used as a break room and finds her there on the floor- on all fours, in a position that looks a lot like _doggy style._

"Oh-" he stops dead in his tracks, unsure of what to do next and shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. Mostly to hide the instant boner he'd gotten.

Lisa sees him, upside down between her legs before standing up and stretching her slender limbs. "Hi Dean-" and her tone was as _cool_ as a cucumber.

"Wha-what- what were you doin-" he stutters, intensely watching her every move.

"Yoga." she stands up straight, in front of him and he now realizes that this girl only comes up to his nose.

"Oh-" Dean nods dumbly, "What position was-"

"Downward facing dog." She smiles casually before bending down to tie her all white sneakers. "You know, I could show you how to do-"

Dean holds up his hands, "Yoga is for girls, let's it keep it that way." Lisa shakes her head and leaves him alone in the break room, clearly thinking Dean Winchester was a loser and although she didn't say it, she clearly thought it- even if he was available, she didn't like him around her kid and rejected his multiple attempts to hang out with her. Just as _friends,_ of course.

Working life at the diner had been uneventful aside from Lisa's yoga in the break room and his uncle coming to see him sometimes during lunch, he raved about the cheeseburgers. Though today, Castiel was here and he knew it was to pick him up to haul his white ass to therapy. 

Dean walks over with a coffee refill for his step father, "I know you're here to take me to my appointment-" he pours the dark liquid into the half empty mug.

Castiel clears his throat. "You have to go."

"Not a chance-" Dean takes the empty plate that once held a slice of cherry pie and is about to leave when Castiel grabs his wrist.

"Dean-" Castiel says angrily. "-I'm getting really tired of this behavior-"

"You really want people here thinkin' you abuse me?" he looks at the hand gripping his wrist tightly, people were already staring. Castiel lets go. "Yea, didn't think so-" he leaves his step dad there alone because he sure as shit wasn't ready to talk about him or his dads death.

Dean worked from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon and that's how he liked his schedule. His nights were free so he could do whatever he wanted, not that his night life was adventurous or anything but he did enjoy having time to himself. It's now three fifteen when he clocks out after having to wash dishes in the kitchen and sees Castiel sitting in his car out front in the parking lot.

He opens the car door, "You waited for me-" and gets in. "-I told you I didn't want to go."

"Well that's too bad-" Castiel starts the car, "-you're going." 

"Fine then." Dean buckles up. "But we're not fucking anymore-"

Castiel laughs, "Right." he says sarcastically. "I bet you cave before I do-" he looks over at the teenager in the passenger seat.

"I hate you." Dean huffs, looking out the window. 

When they get there they sit in the waiting room until being called, Dean goes in alone as per his request. "Dean-" the therapist says warmly. "-finally."

"Yea-" he sighs heavily, letting himself fall onto the couch. "-ya got me."

"Now that I have you all to myself for the next hour-" she smiles, "-let's talk about your dad." then she clarifies, "Your father, not Castiel."

"Right-" Dean nods, sniffling. "-well, John died. They found his body-" then his words die down and he's silent. 

"Dean?" she looks concerned.

Dean shakes his head, "Uh- they found him in his car. Overdosed I guess-" 

"You didn't see-"

"Nah-" Dean plays with the sleeve of the flannel he had thrown on top of his uniform shirt. "-someone from the hospital called us to go identify his body. Almost didn't believe it at first." he laughs softly.

"That's a very normal reaction to have-" he nods. "-do you miss him?" she asks.

"Are you kidding?" Dean scoffs, "The guy was nuts."

"Nuts or not, he was your father. His death must have roused some kind of emotion-" she scribbles on her note pad with her fancy pen that he's thought of stealing just so she doesn't take notes because he doesn't want his agony written down on paper forever.

"I guess." Dean sighs, "It's weird-" he admits. "-I'm grieving the dad who gave me pack of plastic army men every once in a while, that's about it. That's the only good memory I have of the guy."

"And Castiel?" he looks up at her at the mention of his name. "How did he react to this news?"

Dean thinks about it for a moment. "He was torn up about it actually- at first." he's feeling a little jealous as he thinks about how Castiel had gotten drunk the night they had all found out about his fathers death. "I think he secretly loved my dad-" he admits.

"They were together." 

Dean rolls his eyes, "Yea." he doesn't like to think about that. They _were_ together. "They actually seemed like a happy couple at first-" and he hates thinking about that too. When Castiel first came around they had taken him to the park, both he and John- and they played with him on the slides and on the swings, like they were some kind of happy little family of three. "-shit." he'd forgotten all about that, all he remembered until now was John and Castiel fighting about things. He'd forgotten that they actually seemed happy in the beginning. "They were happy-" 

She smiles, nodding as she listens to the teenager speak. 

"God-" Dean wipes under his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel. "-they started fighting when dad started drinking again, he forced Cas to babysit me cause he always wanted to go to the bar next to our house."

"And you feel like he didn't want to look after you?"

"No." Dean states confidently. "He fought with him about it, saying looking after me wasn't his job-" his breath stutters, "-that he didn't like kids." she nods, smiling sympathetically. "I feel like a burden-" he looks down at his boots.

"I'm sure that he never saw you as a burden." she reassures him, also confidently. "You must understand that he didn't have kids of his own, and suddenly he's helping to raise the son of his-"

"Boyfriend." Dean shivers as he says the word. "They were boyfriends."

"Did they break up?" She asks, scribbling something down.

"Not officially, I guess things just ended when my dad left. Cas told me he'd gone fishin' or huntin' and he just never came back." he wipes under his eyes again. "I doubt he even went on any kind of trip." she asks him to elaborate. "Cause!" Dean whines, "My dad never loved me."

"Why do you say that?" she asks softly.

"He had no problem usin' me as a punching bag whenever he felt like it-" he leans back on the couch, looking up at the tile ceiling of her office. "-never did it when Cas was around though, but even if he was- I don't think Cas would have stopped him."

"Dean, that's your anxiety talking and it's telling you that but it's not a fact. Castiel has proved by now that he would do anything for you, has he not?" Dean shrugs. "He clearly loves you, I'm sure he wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Your anxiety is what's giving you negative thoughts about this situation-"

"Yea- you're right." he sighs, "Cas wouldn't let anyone hurt me, even my dad."

"Did Castiel know about the abuse?"

"He took me to the hospital where he worked once, cause I had burn marks on my legs. The nerd thought it was some kinda rash-"

"IS that where your father hit you?" Dean nods. "I'm so sorry, Dean. You didn't deserve any of the pain that was inflicted on you-"

"I told him eventually but I think I just made him uncomfortable." he smiles sadly, "He just bought me a whole bunch of crap to make me feel better. He always does that- doesn't like when I get too emotional and he's just- you know, he's pretty much always in control of his emotions. It takes a lot for him to lash out at me." 

"Why do you think that is?" she stands up to hand him a tissue. "Why do you think he doesn't like to face your emotions head on?"

Dean takes the tissue but doesn't use it, just balls it up into his hand to play with and shrugs. "Cas wants some apple pie life, wants everything to be nice and perfect but I'm not perfect. When I make mistakes or get really pissed, he backs off and doesn't talk to me." a tear rolls down his cheek, he has to be careful of what he says because his therapist knows he's in love with his step father but doesn't know _everything_ that's happened between them and he doesn't want her to know, at least not yet. 

"Dean, you deserve love." she reassures him of that too. "I'm not going to tell you how to live your life but, I want the best for you- if Castiel will make you happy, then that's what I want for you." Dean looks up at her hopefully. "When you're an adult-" he nods somberly. "-I hope you aren't doing something that would get him in trouble before then." she treads lightly over the subject.

Dean goes red instantly and he shakes his head. "Of course not-" she then asks about how he's been dealing with his grief. "Uh-" his hand instantly rests over his arm, where the fresh cuts were. No one knew about them, not even Castiel. "Been angry a lot I guess."

The therapist notices his movements, "Are you self harming again?" she asks patiently and he nods. She sighs, "Oh, Dean. Let's try our best not to do that okay?" he nods again. "Try to treat your body with the respect it deserves because you do deserve it, regardless of what anyone has done to you. You _are_ worthy of good things and good people."

Dean smiles at her, "Yea." 

She closes her notebook and he knows the session is over with, "Next time I'll let you decide what we should talk about, how's that sound?"

"Guess that's cool with me-" Dean stands up when she does, following her out to the waiting room.

"Think about what you'd like us to talk about, maybe write any ideas down on paper and bring it with you so you don't forget." she smiles, "I'll see you in two weeks, please show up."

When she disappears through the door, he goes to meet Castiel in the waiting area.

"How'd it go?" Castiel stands up, walking alongside the teenager towards the car that was parked out front in the parking lot. 

"I guess it was alright, comin' back in two weeks." Dean gets inside the car, buckling himself in and Castiel is relieved that it had gone well this time. "What no diner?" Dean mocks as they head straight home, passing the diner on the way.

"Figured you wouldn't want to eat where you work." he looks over at Dean for a moment as he drives down the dirt road. "Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't want to be seen with your step dad."

"I guess-" he mumbles softly as they now pull up to Bobby's. 

"Dean?" he looks over at the teen when he doesn't exit the vehicle after a minute.

"I don't wanna to live with Bobby anymore." Dean watches his uncle through the window as he moves around in the kitchen, most likely preparing something for dinner. "I wanna live with you-"

Castiel sighs, watching Dean's uncle through the window as well. "I know baby, but you can't live with me yet."

"Yea-" Dean sulks.

"School starts soon." Castiel changes the subject.

"Don't remind me-" 

"You'll be fine, now go." he gestures towards the house. "And yes I do love you." he reassures him before he has the chance to think otherwise. Dean nods, getting out of the car and slowly makes his way up the porch steps, once he disappears through the screen door Castiel leaves. 

The next few days don't go as Dean had thought they would, the week had gone and went and Castiel had broken his promise of taking him out to a movie and out to eat on Saturday. Castiel never showed up. Dean called his phone several times on Saturday morning to remind him of their plans, no response. He texted about a dozen times with no reply before eventually just going over. 

"Cas!" Dean shouts, stomping up the porch steps. "I know you're in there-" he bangs on the door. "-friggin' coward." he barges in and looks around for him. Eventually he finds him laying in his bed. "Dude, it's two in the afternoon, what are you doin' in bed. We had plans-" his accusations die down once he notices the nearly empty whiskey bottle on his nightstand and he approaches the sleeping man on the bed. "Cas-" he pokes his shoulder. Castiel was dead asleep.

Dean gets into bed with him, deciding to wait him out until he wakes up. He's not even angry about their cancelled plans anymore because he knows- if Castiel is drinking, something horrible must have happened. Every now and then Castiel makes a distressed sound in his sleep which Dean soothes by running his fingers through the mans dark hair.

Eventually Castiel groans, rolling over in the bed- it jolts Dean awake after he'd dozed off from pure boredom. "Cas-" he whispers. "-I'm here." 

He groans again, opening one eye to look at him with. "Damn it Dean, go home." 

"What's wrong-" Dean chokes up, he hadn't meant to but he can't help it if it hurts when he's spoken to like this by the man he loves. 

"Bad week." Castiel huffs and struggles to sit up in bed, he's dizzy from drinking so much when he never really does. "Fuck-" he blinks away the blurriness in his vision. "Can you help me to the bathroom-" he slurs and Dean quickly jumps off the bed and is helping the drunk man all the way to the bathroom so he can take a piss. At least it's what he thinks he's going to do but Castiel ends up getting sick in the sink suddenly and he tries not to look. 

"Shit-" Dean looks at the floor, rubbing up and down the mans back. "-what are you drinkin' for? You know you can't handle-"

"Shut up-" Castiel spits into the sink after rinsing his mouth with tap water.

Dean holds his tongue for now. "Come on." he turns on the shower and moves to help the man strip off his clothes. He was all too familiar with this, having helped John in his drunk mess many times before. "Get in, you smell like shit."

Castiel's eyes are still closed and he gets into the shower, "-and I'm sure you always smell like roses." he comments back sarcastically as if he wants to start a fight. 

Dean rolls his eyes, "Yea, okay-" and helps the man wash his body, the act is completely platonic. "Think you can handle this from here?" he asks, placing the loofah in Castiel's hand, who nods and he takes off to the bedroom to gather clean clothes for him to change into. When he comes back he finds Castiel standing in the shower, half asleep. "You're friggin' useless-" he sighs hopelessly, taking over once again and helping him wash his body.

Afterwards he guides him back to the bedroom where he falls onto the bed, naked. Dean tries to move him around and help him dress into some boxers at least but his body wasn't moving one bit so he gives up. He's convinced his step father is passed out until he jolts suddenly, scaring him.

"-he died on the operating table." he murmurs, half crying into the pillow under his face. "It was my fault-"

Dean gets into bed yet again alongside him, running his fingers through his wet hair. "Who died on the operating table?" he whispers the question.

"John-" Castiel shakes his head,"- my patient." 

"You poor son of a bitch." Dean sighs before kissing his forehead, "You're getting your dead guys mixed up." 

"So many dead people-" Castiel mumbles, falling asleep. Dean tries to get more information out of him but he's done for the night.

When he opens his eyes in the morning he's alone in bed and he quickly goes in search for the man, "Cas!" he yells, looking through the house and finding him at the kitchen table with his nose hidden in a cup of coffee.

"Stop yelling-" he sighs. "-my head hurts."

"You drank almost an entire bottle of whiskey, of course it does." Dean says sarcastically and instantly feels bad when he sees how horrible the guy looks. "Here-" he reaches in one of the cabinets for a bottle of Advil he already knew was there. "Take one." 

Castiel knocks the little pill back with coffee and sighs, "I'm never drinking again."

Dean looks around the kitchen, "No breakfast?"

Castiel covers his mouth, "Not today."

Dean nods, pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking a seat next to him. After a minute of silence he asks, "-last night, you said a patient died on the operating table."

Instantly he seems to sober up, "What are you talking about?"

"You said a patient died on the operating table." Dean deadpans. "You told me before you fell asleep-"

Castiel shakes his head, "I guess I did tell you." he sips his coffee. "A boy-" he pauses, "-just about your age, he died after surgery."

Dean nods in understanding, surely it wasn't the first or the last time something like this would happen in the hospital but the fact that the patient had been his age must have hit a nerve. "Sorry-" he says quietly.

Castiel looks ahead at nothing as he speaks, "-he had a really bad reaction to the anesthesia I gave him. I had a hard time getting him to wake up and I-I lost him." he begins to cry, covering his eyes with his hand. "-it was my fault."

Dean reaches over, pulling his hand away from his face. "You didn't know this would happen."

"I didn't look at the medications he was on-" he says weakly. "-I always check, the one time I don't- fuck. If I had just looked at his chart I would have known what to give him instead-" 

"Cas-" he doesn't know what to say. 

"You should go-" he says softly. "-you shouldn't be around me."

Dean complains, "Please-"

"Dean." Castiel's eyes look broken. 

"You're thinking about me aren't you, cause he was my age-" Castiel nods. "-I'm fine, I'm not him and you didn't lose me." he tries to get through to the man.

"I didn't look through his chart because I just wanted to get home-" he looks at Dean, "-to you. I knew we had plans the next day."

Dean looks down at his coffee, "I'm sorry." he says, voice full of guilt.

Castiel suddenly realizes its Sunday morning, "Damn it, go home and get dressed-" he gets up and rushes towards the bedroom, he turns back to see the teen still sitting at the table. "Now!" This time he listens and runs over to get dressed.

He doesn't bother brushing his teeth or fixing his hair, he simply pulls on a black shirt and fresh jeans before he goes outside to find that his step dad was already parked out front waiting for him.

Castiel drove recklessly the whole way to the church, he was hung over and they were really late for church. He had mass and Dean had Sunday school.

"Cas-" he tries but he's cut off as he's walked to his classroom. "Cas please, talk to me." he holds onto the older mans arm.

Castiel breaks free from his grasp. "We'll talk later, not now. Go in-" he looks at the open door of where he was supposed to go and leaves him to go to mass. Dean takes a seat, he's dressed a little too casual for comfort and everyone is looking at him except for the teacher who is reading from a book. The girls look over at him because they think he's the cutest boy in the class and the boys look at him because they don't like him one bit. 

When class is over and the teacher goes to prepare their snacks- Dean says, "I don't like you guys either." without looking at them. They start gossiping yet again, though the boy who was nice to him before doesn't join in on their hatred for Dean Winchester, which he was grateful for. He waves the kid over, looking at the empty chair next to him. "Come sit next to me-" he says.

The boy quickly comes over and sits right beside him, they huddle in close. "You hate them too?" he asks the kid, looking over at the other boys in the class. The boy nods, "What's your name? Don't think you told me."

"Kevin." he smiles shyly. 

"Dean-" they shake hands briefly. "Guess we should stick together-" he comments and the boy nods gratefully. "Don't worry man, If they bother you I can beat them up for you." they smile at each other and they quickly become friends. Dean actually ate the cookies he was given for snack time but didn't dare drink the kool aid and told Kevin not to do so either. Just in case.

"Staying for choir?" his friend asks him as they exit the classroom, Dean nods. Choir is the same as it had been last week, they sing and he leads them yet again since he had enough balls to do so. The other boys glare at him once more but he doesn't care. Every now and then his eyes meet blue over at the back of the church, Castiel looked torn up about what happened at work. 

When they're done with choir practice Dean and Kevin pat each other on the back and agree to sit next to each other the following week as well before he goes to meet his step dad out front. "Hey-" Dean says quietly when he finds the guy leaning against his car. "Wanna go somewhere?" 

Castiel thinks it over, nodding. Dean thought they'd go to the diner as usual- believe it or not but he wasn't embarrassed to be seen with his step dad one bit, the guy was hot as hell, he had nothing to be embarrassed about. Castiel was nothing like the cliche step dad, he had no mustache and no beer gut.

Though the diner wasn't their destination, instead he'd brought him to a motel way outside of town.

"The hell we doin' here-" Dean says, confused.

"I need you." Castiel's hand is rubbing up and down his thigh. Dean understands that he needs this right now so he nods. Castiel opens the passenger side door to help him out of the car and guides him to the motel room, once inside Dean feels nervous once again. "Don't be nervous." he says, it doesn't help that Castiel is being _weird._

Dean looks up at him with those pretty green eyes, "I'm scared." Castiel shakes his head, pulling him close for a french kiss. "Cas-" he struggles against the older man, "-not ready just yet."

Castiel pulls away, nodding and sits on the bed. Dean sits on the bed too. "You can't just fuck your feelings away-" he whispers into the room.

"You don't know what this feels like." Castiel looks at his hands on his lap. "I killed someone, Dean."

"You didn't kill anyone, It was an accident-" Dean tries to get through to him, "- and it wasn't your fault."

"I'm getting investigated." Castiel admits suddenly, "Tomorrow I have to go into work for a drug test and a psych evaluation-" he shrugs. "-they think I wasn't in my right mind when I gave the boy-" he stops talking. "My colleagues believe your fathers death is affecting me, they know I knew him-"

"You can go to jail for this?"

"I don't know." Castiel sighs, "Maybe."

"You promised you'd always be with me-" Dean's eyes start to well up with tears, he knows he's being selfish. "-you have to fight this."

"That's what I'm going to do but if I'm found guilty somehow-" he stops talking again, looking over at the teenager next to him. "-but in case something happens to me-" Dean nods, listening. "-you should know that I opened a bank account for you a few years ago. Every month I deposit some money into that account for you. I'll give you the information when we get home, but be careful with the money. I don't want you blowing it on stupid things, it's to help you get by."

"How much is in there?" Dean asks cautiously.

"Enough." and he doesn't like that answer, he wants amounts. "At least a few grand." Dean gets overwhelmed and stands up to pace around the musky motel room. "I have life insurance too, other things that could help you get by if anything happens to me-" Castiel watches the boy pace around the room anxiously. "-I don't know if I should marry you or adopt you." he looks down so he doesn't have to see his reaction.

"Huh?" Dean glares at the man. 

"If I adopted you then you'd be entitled to what I have in savings, checking account, life insurance- " he shrugs, looking down still. "-everything would be yours."

"Wouldn't it be the same if you married me?" Dean asks, biting his nails again.

"You don't turn eighteen for another few months and adoption would be-" he stops talking, now looking up at the scared boy. "-my priority is to make sure you're taken care of." Dean nods, not liking this at all. "Come here-" Castiel pats his thigh and the teen comes close, sitting on his step fathers knee. "-you'll be alright, regardless of whatever happens to me." 

The teenager buries his face into the older mans neck to cry. "Don't want you to go anywhere-" his plea is muffled.

Castiel nods, rubbing up and down his back. "Pray for us." he whispers into his ear and the boy nods. "Look at me." he orders Dean, who peels away to look into his eyes. "I love you, do you understand me?" he nods, a tear rolling down his cheek. "No matter what happens, I will always love you." they both swallow the knot in their throats and share a passionate kiss.

They make out on the bed for what seems like forever until Dean's phone roars to life with Metallica. "Guess we better go-" he whispers against the older mans lips. "Sorry I couldn't-" he refers to the lack of sex that was had in the room today. 

"I'd never force you to do something you didn't want." he brushes the hair away from the teens forehead and smiles. "When are we getting this hair cut, hmm?"

Dean yanks himself out of bed, "Don't wanna-" he pulls on his sweater over his basic black shirt. "-it ain't even that long."

Castiel stands up up, wrapping his strong arms around the boy. "I love you, always remember that." they share one final kiss and then guides the teen back to his car, opening the passenger side door for him and he looks around to make sure no one is watching. No one was.

When they get back to Bobby's, Castiel stays for dinner because Dean begged him too. Dean knew he was going to have an unpredictable day tomorrow, who knew if he was going to see Castiel again after that- they could find him guilty, arrest him. Who knows. 

"Gonna walk Cas to his car." Dean says once they're done with their meal, Bobby nods. Dean and Castiel walk through the screen door and down the porch steps. "I love you." Dean looks up at him with tears in his eyes. "You better call me-"

Castiel nods with tears in his eyes too, Bobby's at the table and could see them through the window so they're being careful about what they do in that moment as they stand next to the car. "I promise baby." he looks warmly into green eyes. "But I won't be getting arrested tomorrow, it doesn't work like that. I would probably have to go to court-" he shrugs. "-it's a process." Dean nods, "I'll see you soon, okay?" they smile sadly at each other before he gets into his car and drives down the road to his house next door.

When he walks through the screen door his uncle asks, "What was that all about?"

"He didn't tell you anything?" Bobby shakes his head. "A boy died on the operating table, he thinks it's his fault and I guess everyone does too." Bobby nods while he stands there, hands shoved into his jeans pockets. "He's gotta take a drug test tomorrow when he goes in for work and some kinda evaluation."

"That's rough-" his uncle sighs heavily and gets up to clear the table. "You better head to bed boy, you got work tomorrow."

Dean nods, "Right." and goes to his room. He doesn't really want to go to work but it's a distraction from the events that will take place tomorrow, he's already expecting the worst to occur.

When he wakes up the next morning it's to his phone. "Yea-" he answers the call without checking who it was first. "Cas-" he sits up instantly.

"Shh." Castiel whispers, "I'm fine baby. Just calling you before I go into work." after a pause he breathes into the phone, "I love you baby-"

Dean nods, "I love you too-"

"I'll call you again on my lunch break, tell you what happens." he sighs into the phone loudly again. "You're everything to me, you know that right-"

"Stop." Dean says. "Don't start that crap with me, you're not going anywhere-"

Castiel laughs, "Alright baby, talk to you soon-" and they hang up. Dean checks the time on his phone, only Seven in the morning. He's got quite a while before he has to show up at the diner so he gets up to get himself dressed in his usual for the diner. Black jeans and his work shirt. Since he doesn't plan to go to the diner just yet he throws on a sweater Castiel had gotten him, one of those nerdy knitted sweaters that make him look just like one of those preppy assholes from his Sunday school class. 

After a bowl of corn flakes, he begs his uncle for the keys to his truck. "Come on, I need to run an errand-" and his dear uncle Bobby caves after a while, handing the keys right over with a threat- if anything happens to her, you don't wanna know what will happen to you. "I'm soo scared-" he mocks, giving his uncle a rough kiss on the cheek. "Be back after three!" 

Dean starts the truck and lets her warm up for a few short minutes, then he takes off to the church. When he pulls up to the semi Gothic looking building he shudders and hops off the truck, making his way inside. It wasn't even nine in the morning yet so it was pretty empty, only a few people praying on the benches. Dean walks uneasily towards the front of the church and takes a seat on one of the benches, looking around because he's got no idea how to pray.

"Dean." 

He looks up to find Pastor Jim standing a few feet away from where he was sitting, "Hi-" he waves stupidly. "-came to pray."

The man smiles at him, "I like the sound of that, I'll leave you to it. See you this Sunday." he smiles once more before leaving him alone.

"Shit." he curses under his breath and his eyes meet the large cross that was on the wall of the church and he takes it back instantly. He keeps his eyes on the cross above him as he prays quietly. "Please don't take him away from me. I love him, I-I know it's probably not right of us but-" he shrugs."-I fell in love with him. Watch out for him today will ya-" he begs. "Uh-Amen." he shrugs again, before he gets up and walks out to the truck in the parking lot.

When he makes it to the diner, he realizes it's busier than it usually is. "Dean!" Robin calls out to him. "Hurry up, cook called in sick- go to the kitchen and put some burgers on the grill." He nods and rushes towards the kitchen after clocking in for the day. The day is hectic, he must have made thirty burgers for the lunch rush and he's sweating like a pig in the kitchen.

"Go take a break." Lisa comes in, "I'll cover for you-besides, don't think our customers want hamburger with a side of sweat."

Dean blushes in shame, "Sure." he hands her his hair net and exits the kitchen. Lisa always had a way of making him feel dumb and inferior. He's in the break room standing in front of his open locker, checking his phone. Nothing from Castiel yet so he dials him real quick with no answer. "Fuck-" he sighs, his eyes landing on his old pack of cigarettes that he now was hiding in his locker at work, it beats stuffing them in his sneakers that he kept under his bed. Bobby might find them. Dean takes one and goes out back to smoke.

He rests against the hard cement wall of the diner and lights his cigarette, sucking in the poison but not inhaling it into his lungs. After a while Robin comes out to join him on her break. "You don't smoke-" he says, taking a drag and exhaling.

"I don't." she shrugs, "But you look really cute smoking, Dean Winchester."

"Oh shut up-" he smiles at her. "-be a good girl and go inside."

Robin thinks it over, "Yes sir." and salutes him before heading back in. He pulls out his phone to check the time, it was now twelve which means Castiel should be on his lunch break right about now and dials him.

This time he does answer his call. "Cas-" he exhales the smoke into his phone. "-so what happened?"

There's a lot of noise on Castiel's end of the line, he's probably in the cafeteria right now. "Well-" he chews loudly into the phone. "-took the drug test, I'm clean just like I knew I would be." he bites into something crunchy, probably a carrot since he's such a health nut. "I did the psych evaluation as well, all clear."

Dean nods, "What does that mean?"

"It doesn't look like they're going to be able to build a case against me." Dean sighs, "But I'm not out of the woods yet, since I'm a new doctor here- they're keeping an eye on me." after a moment he says, "They think it's one of my nurses' fault, she didn't fill out the chart before surgery so even if I had checked it-" he chews on food. "-nothing would have been there for me to go off of."

"So what's that mean?" Dean continues smoking.

"It means if anyone is getting into trouble, it's her." he swallows loudly, "But I'm not going to relax just yet-" he listens carefully. "Dean, are you smoking?"

Dean quickly stomps it out and lies, "No."

"Right." Castiel says unconvinced. "I guess I'll see you tonight?" Dean asks where. "My house?" 

"And Bobby?" 

"Come over and fix my car, I'm due for something by now-" the noise on Castiel's end seems to die down, meaning he was probably heading back in.

Dean smiles, "Sure. I'll come by." 

"See you around six, sweetie."

"Ugh, Fuck you-" Dean hangs up quickly with butterflies in his stomach, being called any sweet name always managed to turn him into a puddle of goo.

That night Dean rushes through his dinner of beef tacos that his uncle had made. "Goin' next door-" he chugs the rest of his soda. "-Cas' car needs somethin-"

Bobby nods, asking- "What's he need?" clearly Dean wasn't expecting it and stumbles over his words.

"Gotta-" Dean stands up, wiping his mouth on a napkin to buy a few seconds. "-check the air on his tires." His uncle nods, "Be back in a jiffy." he runs out of the house and rushes over to Castiel's to find that his car wasn't there yet. He checks his phone, **6:25 P.M.**

Dean parks his ass on the porch steps to wait and eventually the familiar car pulls up and Castiel gets out, looking tired and his dark hair a mess on his head. "Sorry I-"

"You're late, Novak!" he shouts, with a smile on his face.

Castiel smiles back at him, standing right in front of the boy on the steps. Dean's eyes wander down to his crotch, he's hard- they both are. "You gonna just stand there or-" and he's being lifted and thrown over the mans strong shoulder. "Cas!" he giggles as he's being taken to the bedroom, then thrown on the bed. "Fuck-" Dean pulls off his shirt, now working on his jeans while Castiel does the same. 

"You nervous?" Castiel now hovers over him, peppering small kisses on the teens neck. 

Dean shakes his head, "Feel safe here-" he mumbles, "-fuck, keep doin' that." the mouth on his neck now devours his skin, careful not to leave any marks as he makes his way down to the teens chest. "Ugh-" he moans, "-don't stop, I like that." and watches the older man kiss and lick at his nipples, making his way even lover. His tongue dips into his navel making the teen laugh under him. 

"Mmm-" Castiel hums, sucking a hickey on the boys inner thigh. 

"Ah-" Dean whines, biting his lip. "You friggin' vampire-" 

"You love it-" he murmurs against his soft milky white skin, now kissing near the boys pink asshole. "Want me to eat your ass baby?" he asks sweetly and Dean moans, nodding frantically. "Shh, baby. Relax-"

Dean lets his head fall back onto the pillow and he holds his legs up where his knees bend, "Ugh-" he whimpers and it's music to the mans ears. "-ugh-mmm-" His large hands grips the teens thighs roughly, he loved those thick thighs as much as he loved Dean Winchester himself. "Ugh-fuck-"

"Not yet-" Castiel orders as he rearranges himself over the boy, guiding his cock into the hole he loves. "-breathe baby." Dean breathes in as the thick cock enters his hole, "That's a good boy-" he coos, making Dean lose his mind with need.

"Ugh-" his hands reach up, rubbing and grabbing at the older man's chest. Castiel's going slow, in and out, deeply until he slightly rubs against that sweet spot. "-ughhhh." 

"You're okay baby-" Castiel leans over his body, closer now, holding himself up but still close enough to stick his tongue in the boys mouth. "Mmm-"

"Hmm-mm-" he makes the most sweetest sounds against Castiel's tongue, "-mm-mmugh-"

"You're so sweet-" Castiel comments, "-you're so beautiful, just for me." he pushes his cock in deeply, keeping it there- trying to dig in deeper and Dean's eyes go wide. 

"Ughhhh shittt-" he exhales loudly. "-Cas-"

"You got anything for me?" Castiel looks down at the teens cock and he shakes his head. "I think you do-" he wraps his sweaty hand around it and starts jacking him off.

"Ugh-ugh-mm-" he whimpers, "-ugh- shit, gonna come- ugh- gonna come-" the hand around his dick jacks him off faster and he's shooting white all over his stomach. "Fuck you-" he sighs heavily, his flat stomach twitching from the intensity of the orgasm. "Your turn asshole-" Dean smiles, "-give it to me daddy." he says sarcastically, playfully, though it's enough to have the older man coming inside him right then in just two strokes.

"Fuck-" Castiel groans, "You-" he presses a kiss to the teens sweaty forehead. "-are so fucking cute." he huffs, rolling off the spent teenager. Dean misses his warmth instantly and he rolls over, half on top of the man. 

"Love you-" Dean mumbles, resting his chin on top of his sweaty chest. "So you wanna cut my hair?" that grabs his interest and Castiel runs his fingers through the boys hair before gripping it and pulling. "Ahgh-" Dean groans, clearly enjoying the pain.

Castiel lets go, now just running his fingers through the teens sweaty hair to sooth the burn on his scalp. "And you call me a freak-" he sits up, "-come on, we need a shower." 

While they're in the shower, he stands behind Dean so he can wash his lengthy hair off with shampoo. It wasn't extremely long, but it was long enough to make Castiel want to cut it. "You like this, don't you?" he asks, being careful not to get shampoo in the teens eyes. Dean just lets him lather his hair, his head lolling back onto the strong chest behind him.

"Feels good, yea-" he sighs.

When they're done in the shower Dean goes to the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, in search for his clothing. Castiel hands him one of his shirts and pajamas when he joins him a few minutes later. 

Dean smiles sadly, taking the clothes. "You know I'm not sleeping over right-" Castiel nods, saying he forgot. "-me too. I keep forgetting we don't live with each other anymore."

Castiel cups his face gently, "Soon." he winks. "Get dressed, Bobby's probably-" right then Dean's phone goes off, blaring Metallica. "-you better hurry."

They dress quickly and he sends the teen on his way. "I'll visit you at work!" he calls out to him and he's given a thumbs up from down the road. _Soon.._

Dean's in the middle of the lunch rush early the next afternoon when Castiel comes in to visit him. If that damn door didn't have a bell on it he wouldn't have noticed him walk in. Castiel takes their usual booth and orders lunch from Robin. Soon he's got his lunch and he's looking around the diner for his boy but not seeing him so he digs into his burger and onion rings.

Dean was in the kitchen grilling because apparently he made the best burgers and now the manager kept asking for his help in making them. Cooking he can't do, grilling he can and he'll use that skill any time he's asked- why not, he's proud of it. Eventually he gets a lunch break as well and takes one of the burgers he made with him to the booth where his step father was almost done eating. 

"Hey bitch." Dean grins, sitting down next to the man, hamburger in his hand. "I made these-" he says proudly.

"I can tell-" Castiel groans softly as he shoves the last bite of hamburger into his mouth. "Mmm, these make me very happy." 

"You make me happy." Dean quietly says, biting into the hamburger he was holding. 

Castiel smiles, looking at him. "I thought so-" Dean looks up at him with innocent green eyes, chewing. "-all that moaning you were doing last night convinced me of that."

"Shut up-" he grits out, looking around casually. Castiel's hand reaches under the table and rubs the bulge in his pants. "-stop." his eyes close in pleasure, "I mean it-" his voice sounds weak. "Fuck-" he leans back against the cool booth, letting the man fondle his junk over his jeans. 

Castiel stops eventually and the teen sits back up again, taking another bite of his burger like nothing happened. "You're so cute." he mumbles, taking a sip of his soda.

Dean gives his step dad the burger so he can finish it, "Shouldn't start what you can't finish Cas-" and instantly the large hand grips his junk firmly. "-stop." he whines.

"I'll make you come right here, right now if you really want me to." 

Dean's eyes look down at the hand cupping his junk under the table. "I'll wait." Castiel lets go and eats what's left of the teens burger.

Eventually Castiel goes back to the hospital and Dean resumes his place in front of the grill. When the clock strikes three he clocks out and gets into Bobby's truck- he always picked him up after work. Though today was different, it was pay day. 

"How much ya make this week?" his uncle asks, purely out of curiosity- he never asked the boy for a cent, ever. 

Dean opens the envelope and looks at his check, "One hundred and five dollars-" he sighs in disappointment. "-the fuck am I gonna do with that." Bobby smacks him in the head. "The fuck was that for!?" he rubs the back of his head, wincing.

"Be grateful ya got a job that pays, son." Bobby starts the truck, "Any money is good money- just be happy ya don't got bills to worry about yet." 

Dean thinks it over for a moment, "I guess-" he smiles, pocketing his check.

Back at Bobby's Dean takes a shower and when he gets out he realizes Castiel never got around to cutting his hair. "Bobby!" he roars, padding through the home as he looks for his uncle and finding him on the couch drinking a beer. "Think I was Cas to cut my hair-"

"Ya wanna go over again? You were just there yesterday. Did ya even check his tires?"

"Uh- yes." he says and Bobby just looks at him suspiciously."I'd let you do it but you don't know how to cut hair-"

"I do too-" Bobby sits up on the couch, setting his beer on the coffee table. "I'll cut it."

"You don't know how to do the fade I like-" he protests and his uncle tells him to get the hell out of there. "Be back soon!" he calls back, rushing through the screen door. When he reaches the fence he sees that Castiel is there since his car was parked out front. "Cas!" he stomps up the steps and tries the door, it was locked. "Cas!" he bangs on the door. "I know you're in there-"

Eventually Castiel comes to the door, surprised to see him there. "What are you-" 

Dean shoves him aside and walks in, now he's suspicious of his step dad. "Why was the door locked-" he looks into the living room, then peeks into the kitchen. "You got some dude here?" he crosses his arms. 

Castiel rolls his eyes, shutting the door. "No, why are you here?" 

"Thought you'd be happy to see me." Dean looks down at his boots. "I'll just go-" he's about to leave but the man pulls him close, wrapping his arms around him and Dean instantly melts. 

Castiel sighs, swaying Dean in his embrace. "Why are you really here baby?" he asks and Dean shrugs. "Come on, tell me-"

"I always miss you-" Dean admits, snuggling into the older mans chest. After a moment he confesses, "Cas-" Castiel nods, listening. "-do you think I have abandonment issues?"

Castiel peels the teen away from him so he can look into his eyes, "Why are you asking me that?"

"The therapist told me I have abandonment issues because my parents left me." Dean shrugs. "She must be right cause every time you leave me-" he sighs. "-my heart wants to break-" he looks up into blue eyes. "-I know it's not healthy-"

"It's okay baby." Castiel smiles warmly at his boy. "You just need a little extra love and I'm happy to give it to you-" he leans down and kisses Dean sweetly on the lips. "-I'll give you anything."

Dean blushes, looking away for a moment. "Shit-I'm a friggin' girl."

Castiel laughs, "Sometimes." 

"When do I get to fuck you again?" the question alarms them both, it was so unexpected. 

"I didn't think you wanted to-" Dean bites his lips anxiously. "-you're not happy with our sex life?"

Dean smiles, "Yea- but I wanna fuck you again."

Castiel groans, "I like doing the fucking baby-" he sees the disappointment in the boys face. "-fine, I'll let you fuck me." that makes him happy until he remembers why he had come over in the first place.

"I almost forgot, I came so you could cut my hair-" Castiel nods, ordering him to take one of the kitchen chairs to the bathroom. 

"Ready?" Castiel comes in and puts a towel over around the teens neck. Dean nods and Castiel's got his fingers in his hair, measuring with them. "I'll use the scissors then that-" he gestures to the electric razor that was plugged in by the sink. Dean closes his eyes and relaxes as he gets his hair cut, almost falling asleep until he hears the electric razor come to life. "Almost done baby."

When he's done he cleans Dean's neck off with that same towel, getting all the fallen hair off his skin. "You look real handsome baby." Castiel comments, kissing behind his ear. "Going home?"

Dean whines, "Don't wanna." he stands up and leans against the sink. "Just wanna be with you-" he fake pouts.

"Don't do this to me-" Castiel groans while picking up the mess in the bathroom. "Go home before-" Dean being the shit he is grabs Castiel by the waist and pulls him close, "Dean-" he warns.

"Don't you wanna fuck me right here?" he hops up onto the bathroom counter. "Please, I need you." he pulls him even closer, opening his legs wide so Castiel can fit between them and kisses his neck. Castiel groans again now that their crotches rub against each other creating the most delicious friction. "Daddy-"

"We can't-" Castiel pulls away, bringing the boy off the counter. "You gotta go home baby."

"I hate you." Dean huffs.

"I bet you do-" Castiel cups his face in his hands and kisses his soft pink mouth. 

Dean exhales deeply, opening his eyes, looking up into blue oceans. "That's only going to work a billion more times-" he exits the bathroom with his step dad following close behind, smacking him on the butt so he hurries. "Stop!" he yells.

"Relax-" he laughs, "-we'll spend time together this weekend." then he grows serious. "Just let me see how this work week goes, yeah?"

Dean nods, knowing exactly what's happening in his step fathers professional life. "Yea-" he punches him lightly on the shoulder before running back next door to his uncles. 

After he shows Bobby his new hair he goes into his room and lays on his bed, pleased to see that he's got a text message from Castiel. 

**Miss you already**

He smiles, typing a response quickly.

**I bet, you love my ass**

**Go to sleep princess**

Dean sighs and puts his phone on the table by his bed and does just that, sleeps. In the morning he awakens late and struggles to get ready in time for work. Bobby drops him off right up front, "Pick you up at three-" 

"Thanks Bobby-" Dean slams the truck door shut and runs up to the diner.

After clocking in he notices that it's pretty dead in there today and he doesn't mind one bit, he's tired and doesn't feel like working hard today. Robin wasn't in today, called in sick- female problems or something and he knew exactly what that meant. Today it was just him and Lisa. Every once in a while he would gaze over at the brunette and she would meet his gaze and smile, Dean smiled back. 

On his lunch break he sits down at his favorite booth with a cup of decaf and a slice of pie. While he's eating he looks out the window, it was raining now and he didn't mind that one bit either. Maybe that's why the diner had been so empty today. When his pie is polished off and his coffee is half way done Lisa comes over and sits across from him, studying him.

"Yea?" he may think she's pretty but doesn't like her attitude. "What-" he says, getting annoyed at the fact that she's just staring at him.

"What's your deal, Winchester?" Dean stays silent, not knowing what she means. "Tell me about yourself-" 

Dean rolls his eyes, "Lisa-" he chuckles, shaking his head- if she can be nasty, so can he. "-I got your number sweetheart." he takes a glance towards the back of the diner where her son was playing with legos at one of the booths. "-If you're shopping for a new baby daddy, I'm not it." he gives her a wink. He's come to find out- thanks to Robin, who was his friend- that Lisa Braeden was single and collecting child support checks from some older military guy that she had a one night stand with four years ago and didn't tell him about his child until she gave birth.

"You're an ass." she wipes under her eye, though no tears were coming. She was a good actress.

"Save it." Dean chuckles, giving the brunette a once over. "I like you- you know why?" she shakes her head. "Because were a lot alike-" she laughs. "-it's true, there's nothing you won't do to get what you want." Dean shrugs, downing the last of his coffee. "I'm the same way."

"Robin said you were gay-" she states, trying to get a rise out of him.

Dean feels the betrayal rising in his body, he'd confided in Robin. "Robin didn't say that, did she?" 

"No-" she admits. "-she's actually your friend." Dean sighs in relief, the anger in his bones fades away. "But I think you are." 

"Cut the attitude-" he orders and her mouth falls open. 

"Dean Winchester, you're sort of sexy-" she smiles then, "-are you sure you don't want to be my baby daddy?" she laughs, clearly joking. 

"Kids aren't in my future-" he leans back, "-why don't you go to the kitchen and bring me some more coffee?" he hands her his mug and he's surprised that she actually obeys him. His interest is peeked, big time. _Shit.._ he kinda likes that she's feisty. The rest of his shift is spent with Lisa making googly eyes at him from across the diner and every time she walked by him, she looked over her shoulder to see if he was checking out her ass- he was.

"See you." he says to Lisa as he pulls on his black jean jacket, he's getting ready to leave when she runs up to him and kisses him on the lips. When she pulls away his eyes are hooded, half closed. "Why'd you do that for-" she shrugs, running back to the kitchen. Dean exits the diner to wait out front for his uncle who was five minutes late. He licks his lips and got a taste of something sweet. _Strawberry lip gloss.._

It's now twenty minutes that Bobby was late and now Lisa exits the diner, "I can give you a ride." she laughs. 

Dean's far enough away from her that he can get away with cursing her under his breath. "What a fuckin' bitch-" he smiles, nodding in agreement to the ride. She waves him over to her small car, a mustang. "Nice car." he comments, getting in. 

"So-" she starts the car. "-finally going to see where Dean Winchester lives." Dean gulps, giving her half assed directions to where he lived. "You live way out in the middle of nowhere-" she comments, driving through many trees just to reach the dirt road that led to home and suddenly he's feeling shy.

"Here-" he gestures towards Castiel's place instead, not wanting to get dropped off at his uncles. For some reason he felt embarrassed about her seeing all the broken down cars and stacks of tires his uncle had lying around. "Thanks-" he reaches for the door handle now that they're stopped in front of Castiel's place and luckily he wasn't home.

"Dean-" she says softly.

"Hmm?" he looks at her impatiently.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" she asks and it surprises him.

"Don't we kinda hate each other-" 

"But am I pretty?" 

Dean rolls his eyes, "Yea- I think you're pretty." she grabs him by the collar of his jean jacket and pulls him in for a kiss. Dean resists at first, tries fighting her off until he begins to enjoy the kiss and gives in. He'd always been submissive to somebody kissing him- Dean Winchester loves kissing, regardless of who it was. "Ugh-" he moans against her strawberry flavored lips. 

"You're a good kisser." she comments, pushing him away from her like nothing happened. "Guess you're not gay after all." Dean fixes his jacket and shirt dumbly, clearly aroused in his jeans. "What are you waiting for? get out."

Dean whines in his throat, "Seriously-" both of their eyes go down south to his crotch. Lisa cuts the engine and climbs over his lap on the passenger side, she kisses him yet again and begins to grind her body against him in such a way that has him wrapping his arms around her small body and humping up against her. "Ugh-" he moans, "-mm-"

It's pretty tame and innocent until he hears her moan and that's when he loses his mind because he wants to hear more of that sweet sound. Dean pulls up her skirt just enough so he can rub her over her panties, she moans again and that has him pulling them aside to massage between her wet lips.

"Oh my God, Dean-" She cries out, smile on her face.

Dean moans, his eyes fixed upon her. Their encounter was disrupted by a knock on the cars window and he pulls his hand away from between her legs on instinct. The passenger side door flies open and the next thing he knows is he's being yanked out of the car by his step dad. Dean falls onto the floor and Lisa pushes her skirt down, turning red all over from shame. 

"Dean-" she asks nervously, looking at an angry Castiel.

"He's my step dad-" he pants, getting up from the ground. "Cas-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses-" he looks over at the girl, "-go home." and gives her a look of disgust before looking at Dean the exact same way. "You too, go home."

Lisa shrugs at him before starting the car back up and speeding down the dirt road as fast as she can. 

"Cas!" Dean runs up behind his step father, "I'm sorry! It- it-" he stutters. "-things just got out of hand-she came onto me!"

Castiel scares him by turning around suddenly, Dean bumps into his body and stops dead in his tracks. "I'm so disappointed in you Dean-" he shakes his head, looking at the ground. "Go home-"

"No!" Dean shouts, "Not until we talk-" Castiel turns around, going up the steps and unlocking the front door. "Please! Just tell me we're okay and I'll go!" the man turns around again, looking at him with utter disappointment. "Please! I need you-" 

"You need me?" Dean nods frantically. "You didn't need me two minutes go when you had your fingers in her-" he can't even say it. "-you hurt me." Dean nods, tears running down his face. "-I'm not letting you off this time."

Dean falls to his knees with his hands clasped together, begging. "Please-" he sobs. "-don't leave me."

Castiel watches him for a moment, feeling guilty himself for maybe being too harsh. "Get up-" he orders, Dean gets up. "Wipe your face." Dean wipes his face. "Now-" he smiles at the boy, who now smiles back thinking they're okay. "-now you can go home."

Dean's smile falls, his tears return. "No-" he whines, trying to follow the man inside the home- the door is trying to shut in his face but he's pushing against it with all he's got. "Please-"

Castiel lets the door go and Dean falls inside the home, "Fuck-" he curses and looks up at his step father. "-please." 

"Please what?" Castiel looks down on him. "What do you want?"

Dean doesn't like his tone, "Forget it." he pushes himself up onto his feet and walks through the open door, down the porch steps. The door slams shut behind him in no time. _Fuck him.._ he wipes at his eyes again as he walks home. Once he makes it through the screen door he's cursing up a storm, and in his room he begins to kick at everything in sight. "Fucking bitch!" he kicks at his trashcan. "It's all your fault-" he falls on his bed, crying angrily.

Bobby comes in from out back where he was working and knocks on his door. "What the hell is a matter with you?" he peeks inside.

"Go away." his plea is muffled by the pillow over his face.

"I'm callin' Cas-"

"No!" Dean throws the pillow at his uncle, instantly regretting it because the look on his face scares him. "S-sorry Bobby."

"You better quit it." Bobby orders him, shutting the door.

Dean grabs his phone in rage and begins to type the nastiest things to his step father. When he doesn't get a response right away his texts to the man grow more foul.

Eventually his phone buzzes with a message, **Are you sure you want to talk to me like that right now?**

That was all Castiel sent him in response but it was enough to make his heart drop down to his stomach. Dean re-reads all his messages and regrets ever sending them. He doesn't know why does all this, maybe he's crazy. Those thoughts run wild through his mind- he's got a good guy by his side and he's ruined it for a few minutes of fun with Lisa. _That bitch.._ his anger roars to life once more but he doesn't do anything this time. He stays in his anger for hours, unable to sleep. Castiel never texted him anything else, maybe it was a good thing. He wasn't sure just yet.

Dean managed to pass out eventually and in the morning he grabs his phone to check if Castiel sent him something. _Nothing._ Instead of sending him another hateful text he bites his tongue and calls his therapists office and moves up his appointment so he could see her today, after work. Surely Bobby would drive him.

Work was uneventful this time and he was glad for it, Robin was still out sick with _female problems_ and Lisa ignored him as usual. Maybe yesterday never happened. Maybe he dreamed it all.

The bell on the door jingles. It was _Cas_ and he quickly takes a seat at their usual booth. Dean walks over nervously, "You here for lunch?" Castiel nods, looking through the menu he's already got memorized. 

"What will it be?" 

The door jingles again. It was _Gabriel,_ the doctor from the hospital he was friends with. 

Dean's heart begins to race, he's thinking this is a date. "Cas-" 

Gabriel looks up at him after taking a seat across his step father. "I'll have a burger and a soda, thanks." Dean nods, now looking at Castiel whose smiling up at him, ordering the same thing. 

"Sure-" he turns around and goes to the kitchen. As he gets their orders ready Lisa comes by, asking him why he's so upset. "Leave me alone, you ruined my life-" he walks passed her, his shoulder brushing roughly against hers on his way out. "Here you go." Dean says somberly to what he is assuming is two guys on a date. "Enjoy." he turns around when Castiel calls his name. "Yea?" he faces them again, looking utterly broken.

"I'll drop by tonight to check on you." Castiel says, no tone to his voice whatsoever. Dean just shrugs and leaves them alone, he watches the two men interact from the kitchen secretly. The more he watches, the more this doesn't look like a date but it hurts his soul that Castiel is happy and laughing without him. When they appear to be done with their meals, he goes back to their booth with the bill.

"Here you go." he places the bill on the table and waits for them to pay.

"Thanks, the burger was amazing." Gabriel compliments, putting a few bills on the table.

"I made it." Dean says softly and Gabriel is fascinated by the fact while Castiel pays his half of the bill. The only thing he notices is that if this were a date, they wouldn't be splitting the bill and that seems to give him some comfort. "Have a nice day-" he grabs the cash and heads back. Though he doesn't make it very far and ends up in the bathroom so he can cry.

He's not in there five minutes before the door opens, Dean wipes his tears and stays silent in the stall he was in. 

"Dean, come out." the familiar voice orders. 

Dean closes his eyes, "No." 

"Then I'm coming in." he yanks open the stall door- it was unlocked- and comes in, crowding the boys space. Castiel looks at him for a moment before saying, "-what the fuck were you thinking, messing around with that girl." and pulls the nervous teenager up against his body aggressively. 

Dean blinks up at him, "I-I-" he stutters and Castiel's lips crash against his, he moans in all his confused glory. 

"I'm still mad at you-" Castiel lets go of him. "-but for better or worse right." he looks down at the floor for a moment before meeting his teary green eyes again. 

"The way you looked at me-" Dean wipes his eyes. "-thought we were over."

Castiel shakes his head, "I'm pissed but we're not over and you'll have to make it up to me, of course."

"I'll do anything-" Dean pleads, making grabby hands at his step father. "-anything."

"Hmm." Castiel thinks it over, well aware that he could abuse his power of this boy and do something cruel- get revenge but he decides against it, he loves him too much. "Just be loyal to be baby." he smiles warmly at his love. "Don't _hurt_ me ever again." his voice cracks, his cool facade now gone. "Please baby-"

Dean nods, hoping he can keep his promise this time. He's got no idea what possesses him to do these things, to cheat on the man he loves. 

"I cried all night-" Castiel admits. "-I felt like you don't love me." their eyes meet. "Do you love me?" 

Dean's surprised by how insecure he sounds now. "I love you-" he whispers. "-I'm such a fuck up." 

Castiel sighs, "I better go-"

"Are you here with that guy just to get back at me?" now Dean's insecure.

"No baby, we came to have lunch." he shrugs. "That's all, I promise." Dean nods. "But Dean, next time you're tempted- think about how you'd feel if I cheated on you."

Dean looks down at his boots, "Yea-" 

"See you later baby." Castiel gives him a sad smile before exiting the bathroom. When Dean finally exits the bathroom a few minutes later he sees that Castiel is talking to Lisa and goes straight to the kitchen.

"Stay away from Dean, he's a good kid." Castiel tells Lisa as they speak. "Girls like you are only after one thing-"

"And what's that?" she says.

"Let me take a wild guess here-" he looks the brunette up and down. "-you're hoping to seduce Dean and of course, him being a teenage boy with raging hormones will likely give in without giving it much thought -he'll forget to wear a condom which means he'll probably get you pregnant. You'll ignore him, raise the baby on your own and ask him for child support." Castiel glances over to where her son was for a moment.

She doesn't respond, her gaze glued to the floor in embarrassment.

"Trust me-" Castiel leans close enough to whisper. "-I know women like you." he winks at her before leaving the diner. Luckily Dean hadn't seen or heard any of that, he was in the kitchen grilling up a storm. The rest of the day she ignores him until he's luckily picked up on time by his uncle.

Dean looks over at her before leaving and she looks away. _Good._

"Hey Bobby-" Dean hops into the truck, in a better mood now that he knew he hadn't lost Castiel quite yet. "-I got therapy at four, you mind driving me?"

"Not at all." Bobby smiles. "Glad you're goin-"


	53. Don't worry bout' a thing

It was Saturday morning and Dean was having breakfast at the table with his uncle when a car honks out front. Not in a million years was he expecting for it to be Castiel, the guy hadn't picked up his phone all week. Castiel had promised him a trip to the mall so he could spend some of his diner money.

When he peeks through the screen door, his step father waves casually at him from behind his cars tinted windows so all he could see where the guys fingers wiggling over the steering wheel.

"Cas is actually came-" Dean says, reaching for his jean jacket that was on one of the wall hooks.

"I want you back home before dark-" 

"Bye Bobby!" Dean yells before rushing out through the screen door.

Once he's inside the well air conditioned vehicle he looks over at Castiel who rolls his eyes and peels away from Bobby's property. They know well enough not to kiss in front of that darn kitchen window. The car ride into town had been awkward just as he expected it to be but he was finally getting to spend some alone time with the man and that was enough- he didn't want to push his luck after what happened.

Eventually Castiel places his hand on his thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry for what I did, I swear she came onto me-" 

"Baby it's okay." Castiel looks over at him for a brief moment as he drives. "She's a bad girl, it's not your fault." Dean nods in agreement."Let's not talk about her, I handled it."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean looks at him, "Did you threaten her?"

He laughs, "Didn't have to, she was scared of me the moment I pulled her aside to talk-" 

"You're evil-" Dean comments, analyzing the guy who occasionally scares the crap out of him.

They walk into the mall, hand in hand and it's something Dean still wasn't used to but Castiel insisted it was alright since they were in a crowded place where no one knew them.

Dean leads the way into a shop called _Pamela's Wicked Shoppe_. It had been one of the first few shops by the malls entrance, must have been a new store since he hadn't noticed it before. It was a lot like Hot Topic, but more new age. Dean had been extremely anxious to spend some of his diner money, after all he had three weeks of paychecks burning a hole in his pocket.

"So this is her store-" Castiel looks around at the area, his eyes scanning the various new age crystals and books. "Where are the records?"

"Over there-" Dean points to a small stack of about five records on a table in the corner- this place hardly qualified as a record store.

"Ah-" Castiel picks up a book, "-how to speak with the dead-" he reads the cover aloud, not the least bit impressed. He would never want Dean to dabble in the occult or anything of the sort and luckily from the looks of this shop- it was more hipster and new age than anything. "Should I buy you this crystal-" he reads the tag on it, "-so I can purify your aura-" he laughs, setting the crystal back on the shelf. 

"Shut up-" Dean whispers. Castiel crosses his arms at his chest as he makes his way through out the shop, leaving Dean by the books. He's reading the labels on _intention candles_ mindlessly-not that he believes in any of this but he grabs one labeled _Abundance_ that smelled like sage to burn in his office. His eyes peek up just in time to see a dark haired woman approaching the teenager across the shop. 

Dean smiles up at her and they begin to chat among themselves. He's not _jealous,_ no way. Castiel watches them interact for a few moments until she brushes her hand up and down his arm seductively is when he slams down the candle he thought about purchasing and goes over. 

"Dean." he says coldly. "Whose this?" he asks, though he knows it must be Pamela, the woman he wanted to have a threesome with. 

"Pam-" Dean says shyly, taking a step back from the woman. Castiel shakes her hand kindly, smiling at her.

"Nice to meet you-" Pamela looks Castiel up and down. "-he doesn't look a bit like you."

"That's because I'm his step father." Castiel looks at Dean, arms crossed at his chest again. No way in hell he was buying anything from this store, he didn't believe in any of this mojo stuff but he believed enough not to mess with any of it.

"Oh, when Dean told me about you he kept calling you his dad." 

Dean blushes, "I'm gonna take these." he holds up a scented candle with crushed crystals and herbs on top of it and a book about witchcraft. Castiel follows the boy to the register towards the back of the store, she rings up the items. **$43.50** showed up on the digital screen.

Dean digs in his back pocket for his wallet but Castiel is already swiping his card and punching in his pin number. Pamela says goodbye to them and they walk away, Castiel looks over his shoulder with his arm around the teenager- the woman was checking Dean out. 

Once they exit the store he notices Dean is upset, "What?" he asks him.

Dean shakes his head, "I wanted to pay-" he shrugs the arm off his shoulder. "-now she's gonna think I'm some baby that doesn't have his own money."

Castiel has to walk faster in order to keep up, "What do you care what she thinks?" Dean ignores him. "Do I have to remind you that you cheated on me again?" that makes the guilty teen look over, "You better behave or else-" Castiel threatens, wrapping his arm around his shoulder once more. 

Dean nods somberly, looking down as they walk through the mall- he can't wait until he's eighteen so he doesn't have to do everything he's told. They go into a few more stores and Castiel lets him pay for some of his things. Castiel looks at his watch, "Are you hungry yet?" he asks the teen who simply shrugs. "There's a Mcdonald's right there-" Dean shrugs again, not caring where they eat. "Come on, you love Mcdonald's-" he leads the way, Dean plops down on a chair and waits while his step father orders.

Sometimes he really hates the guy and he knows it's only because he's both his step father and his boyfriend and prays to the good lord above that on his birthday he will just be his boyfriend and nothing else. He hates getting scolded by the man who fucks him, it's beyond humiliating. 

Castiel eventually comes back with their food and sits down next to him, Dean smiles as he sees his chicken nuggets and fries. "You're so cute." 

That makes him blush, "Shut up asshole, I hate you right now." he starts chomping on his nuggets, looking around at all the people passing by.

Castiel ignores him and bites into his burger and it only takes him four bites to finish it- "Your burgers are better." he comments.

Dean's only on his third chicken nugget. "You eat fast-" he studies the man next to him.

"Stop staring at me." Castiel orders him, Dean keeps eating- smiling. "You're making me crazy-" he huffs.

"I'm adorable, I know." Dean laughs with a mouth full of nugget and fries. 

"That's disgusting." Castiel looks away from him, laughing. When he looks at the teen again he starts laughing for another reason. 

"What!" Dean whispers loudly.

"You got-" he covers his mouth to hide his laughter. "-ketchup on your shirt." Dean goes red in the face and starts wiping at it with napkins. "Here baby-" Castiel gets a napkin wet and starts rubbing it away and it comes off, luckily his shirt was black and it wasn't obvious. "It's okay baby, don't freak out." Dean's eyes are red like he wants to cry. "Baby, stop."

"I'm going to the bathroom." Dean gets up and makes his way to the bathrooms across from where they were seated. Castiel knows he's done eating so he picks up everything and tosses it in the garbage. Castiel then grabs their shopping bags, heading for the bathroom to get Dean. 

"Dean-" he calls out softly. 

"In here." the stall opens and he peeks inside. "I hate myself-" he admits.

Castiel squints in confusion, "Why?"

"Cause-" he kicks the door wide open and Castiel has to take a step back so it doesn't hit him. "-I can't even eat right."

"Dean, it's not a big deal." he states, bags in hand. "Let's go-"

Dean wipes his eyes and goes to wash his hands before following his step dad outside. They're walking towards the large parking lot to search for their car when he asks, "After my birthday-" Castiel looks over at him while they walk. "-are you still gonna treat me like I'm some kid?"

Castiel stops, Dean does too and they look at each other. He sighs, "If I treat you like a kid at any point in time it's for your own good, I care about you and I'm not going to let you run around making all these mistakes. Not if I can help it-" he starts walking again now that he spotted his car, Dean follows. "You're still so young-" he comments, unlocking the car and putting their bags in the trunk. "-I'm your boyfriend but I can't let you do whatever you want."

Dean nods, "So you're still gonna be an ass-"

Castiel smiles, "I know it must seem like I'm controlling but-"

"I knowww-" Dean rounds the car and gets in. Castiel's phone rings in his pocket and he fishes it out to answer it. Dean looks through the window and sees him talking to someone on the phone and waits impatiently- giving the guy a look once in a while when their eyes meet. Eventually his step father gets inside to see that Dean's already started it up which he isn't mad at. "Was that your other boyfriend?"

He rolls his eyes, "I don't have another boyfriend."

"Mhm." Dean looks at him suspiciously.

"That was our tenant-" he glares at Dean, "-will you stop looking at me like that, God." Castiel peels out of the drive way and starts on the drive home.

"So what did they want?"

"The water heater isn't working-" he looks over at Dean for a moment, "-do you know how old it is?"

Dean shrugs, "How the hell am I supposed to know that-"

"Right. Know anything about putting in a new one?" he asks. "I'll pay you to come help me-"

Dean smiles, "I'll do anything for a hundred bucks."

Castiel swallows dryly, "That's great Dean, just what I like to hear." his tone is sarcastic- he does not want to know what the boy would do for a hundred dollar bill. "After church tomorrow, we'll make the drive."

As they get close to home Castiel parks up the road and pulls the teenager close for a deep lingering kiss that leaves him panting and hard in his jeans. "Mmm-" he mumbles against that sweet pink mouth. "You're beautiful baby." Dean looks down, blushing. "You make me crazy-" he kisses the boy once more. "-don't want anyone touching you like this but me." his large hand cups the boys hard on and rubs it through the thick denim. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans softly. 

"I love you baby-" Castiel murmurs against the soft skin of his neck. "-so much."

"Ughh-" Dean moans louder, "-stop it or I'm gonna, shit-" he tenses up and Castiel knows he came in his pants. 

"You're such an adorable boy." Castiel smiles, peppering kisses all over that blushing young face.

"Stop-" Dean whimpers.

Castiel stops, leaving the boys personal space. "Don't like it when I call you nice names?"

Dean shrugs, "Makes me feel funny inside-"

Castiel puts the car in drive again and heads down the road to drop him off at his uncles. "I'll pick you up for church tomorrow, then we'll head out." Dean nods and grabs his stuff from the trunk before running up the porch steps. Castiel honks at him and Dean rolls his eyes before he heads in.

The next morning Castiel shows up to pick him up, he knocks on the screen door and Bobby calls him to come inside so he does. Dean's at the table eating cereal and he smiles instantly, milk dribbling down his chin. 

Castiel blinks away the dirty image that popped up into his mind. "Morning, Ready to go?" The teenager nods, shoving a few more spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth before getting up. "See you tomorrow Bobby-" he smiles at the bearded man.

Dean practically skips down the steps and runs to the car. 

"You're cute-" Castiel smiles, letting himself into the car as well. "-you look happy to see me."

"Yea-" Dean blushes, looking out the window and they drive away. During the drive to church he manages to peek into the backseat and sees a duffel bag. "What's that for?"

Castiel looks into the backseat, "Thought we might stay at a nice hotel." then looks over at the teen. "It'll be too late to drive back by the time were done-" he winks. Dean nods frantically, inhaling a deep breath as he mentally prepares himself for what might go down tonight. 

"See you soon baby." he whispers before leaving Dean at his classroom. 

Dean nods and heads in, his eyes scan the room for his friend Kevin who he spots instantly. "Hey-" he grins, walking over to sit next to the kid. 

"Hey Dean." he smiles, handing him a lollipop from his pocket suddenly. Dean smiles and takes it, it was sweet of his friend. "Are you staying for choir?"

He shrugs, "Don't think so, I gotta go somewhere with my step dad after class." The boy looks sad about it. "If any of these assholes-" he says that part loud enough so the jerks in the room can hear. "-give you any shit, I'll kick their asses next week. Yea?"

"Cool." Kevin smiles. 

The class is uneventful, no one bothers to look at him and his new friend though the girls glance over his way once in a way and it has Dean saying, "If you like any one of these girls, I can get her for you-" he whispers.

Kevin's eyes bug out, "Really?" Dean nods. "I kinda like-her." he looks over as a pretty blonde girl who looked to be the nerdiest of the bunch. 

"You like the nerds huh-" he laughs softly. "-me too, friggin' wild." he shudders, thinking of Castiel. After class is over Dean passes on the cookies and kool-aid and takes off to meet his step father who as usual, was leaning against his car waiting for him. "Let's gooo-" he groans deeply, mostly to be funny.

"You're happy today-" Castiel shakes his head, unlocking the car. 

"Well yea-" Dean rubs the older mans thigh up and down seductively once they're sitting inside the car, "-I'm gonna have sex tonight, why wouldn't I be happy."

Castiel groans his name, "Dean." his eyes look down at the hand that's rubbing his thigh. "Don't tease me like this or I won't go easy on you tonight-I mean it, no mercy." Dean rolls his eyes and says _yea right._ "I mean it baby, I've been pretty tame with you so far."

Dean snorts, "Yea friggin' right, you punch my guts with your stupid dick every time." Castiel gives him a wink and starts the car, pulling out of the church parking lot for the four hour long journey back _home_ so they can put in that water heater for their tenants. "Seriously Cas- you ain't gonna hurt me or nothin' right?" the look on his face shows fear which only makes Castiel laugh.

Once they're an hour into the trip Castiel finally reaches his hand over to squeeze his knee, "Don't worry baby, I'm not going to hurt you. I was joking."

Dean visibly relaxes, "Shit, You scared me." The rest of the drive is quiet, Dean kept turning on the radio to the classic rock station and Castiel kept changing the station to christian rock. "So, Castiel-" the older man looks over at him in wonder at the mention of his full name. "-is that your real name? I've never heard a name like that before. I always wanted to know about your name but I kept forgetting to ask-"

"Castiel is the angel of Thursday." Dean nods. "My real name was James Novak-" he looks over at the teen once more. "-my family called me Jimmy."

Dean's looking at him with wide eyes like he just told him he killed somebody, _again._ "You running from something?" he asks nervously.

Castiel laughs, "No baby- I just changed my name to Castiel when I became christian." he looks over at the boy again. "Would you rather call me Jimmy?"

Dean shakes his head, still uneasy. "Dunno-" after half an hour of silence he speaks up. "I love you, Jimmy." he says, "Ew it doesn't feel right-" and makes a weird face, it didn't roll off the tongue like _Cas_ always did. The older man laughs. "Any more deep dark secrets you wanna share with me? We got another hour on the road."

Castiel doesn't rush to answer the question, instead he's silent for several minutes as he sorts through his memory. Eventually he confesses something that had weighed on his soul for years. He doesn't want to tell him about this secret but if he's going to marry Dean, he's got to.

"I didn't want to tell you about this but I had a daughter." he looks over at the teen, reading his face for a reaction. "Her name was Claire-"

Dean blinks furiously at the man driving the car, _"What-"_ he says in a tone that sounds a lot like betrayal. Castiel looks nervous. "Okay _Jimmy,_ what the hell happened to your _daughter-_ his voice cracks and he's unable to continue.

"My girlfriend got pregnant while we were in college together-" his voice is soft. "-she was the last girl I was with." Dean's silent, listening, his eyes focusing outside the window at the darkening sky. "She put my daughter up for adoption when I left the state for med school-" Dean nods, still looking out the window. 

"How old she?" he asks quietly.

"I guess she would be around your age." he answers the question sadly. "Claire was three years old the last time I saw _her_ _-"_ he clears his throat and Dean looks over at him finally. He looked like he might cry. "I loved her- I still love her and I was hear broken when I found out that she was put up for adoption. Her mother and I broke up because I-"

"You were gay." Dean states.

He nods, "She couldn't accept it, guess she was mad at me-" they stop at a gas station so they can take a short break, stretch their legs. "-I'm sorry I didn't tell you but you were just so young and I-"

"I get it." Dean sighs, "Fuck Cas-" he shakes his head.

"Clair had blonde hair, blue eyes." his eyes close for a moment, a tear running down his face. "I think that's part of the reason why I couldn't leave you either-I already left one child behind-" 

Dean pulls the older man close and hugs him tightly as he cries against his shoulder. "I'm not mad at you-"

"You should be, I'm just a liar-" 

"I understand why you lied to me." Dean pulls away so their eyes can meet. "I was too young to know about all this and even if you had told me, I probably wouldn't have understood what it meant."

"Do you still love me?" the green eyed teen nods somberly. "I love you so much, I'm sorry."

"Don't you wonder where she is?" Dean's curious.

"Of course I do-" Castiel wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "-I've tried looking for her but it was a closed adoption. Her mother had me sign some papers that I didn't know were for her adoption-" he pauses. "-I signed them in a rush- I was so sleep deprived while I was in school." he lightly punches the steering wheel. "Damn it."

"Cas-" Dean tries. "-is that why you didn't like me at first?"

Castiel looks over at him, "I always liked you- but I guess you reminded me of her. I knew she would be around your age."

"Did dad know you had a daughter?" he shakes his head. "Fuck-" Dean curses, trying to take it all in. "I gotta take a piss-" he blurts out and gets out of the car, slamming the door. Castiel eventually follows, going inside the gas station to use the restroom as well. 

When he enters the gas station it looks like he's the only one in there, so he makes his way to the bathroom, pushing the door open. Dean was in one of the stalls, crying. 

Castiel sighs, "Dean-" no response. "-Baby." 

The red faced teenager comes out and heads to the sink to wash his hands and face. Castiel uses the urinal, not caring that Dean is right there, after zipping up he goes to wash his hands too. 

"Please don't hate me." he begs, drying his hands on a few brown paper towels.

"I don't hate you." Dean dries his face with his shirt. "I thought you didn't have kids- then you spring this on me, Shit." he kicks the trashcan. Castiel flinches. "They have corn dogs in the front, I want one." he states his demand before leaving the bathroom. 

Castiel grabs two sodas from the fridge and heads to the front, asking the cashier for a corn dog while Dean just stands by the door with his arms crossed at his chest- giving him his best bitch face.

Back in the car Dean's got his corn dog and Castiel says, "I get that you're pissed but drop the attitude." 

Dean laughs, "Fuck you too sweetheart." and continues eating. The car starts back up and they drive the rest of the way. Once they reach their destinations, it was too late to get anything done now so Castiel drives to a nearby hotel.

"Guess we're not having sex tonight." Castiel quietly says, Dean glares at him- getting out of the car. "Fuck me-" he huffs and reaches into the backseat for his duffel bag and catches up to the teenager. 

Once they've checked in, things are awkward and silent as Castiel moves around the room unpacking the few things he brought for himself and for Dean. After all it was a short stay. He couldn't wait until morning so go buy that damn water heater to replace the old one and just go home.

"Goodnight." Dean says before slamming the bathroom door, then the shower starts. Castiel falls onto the bed, closing his eyes. When Dean exits the bathroom a good while later he's got a towel wrapped around his waist and he considers fucking the teenager anyway. "Don't look at me you friggin' pervert." Dean scolds the man who quickly looks away. "You're not getting this sweet ass tonight."

Castiel snorts as he heads to the bathroom for a shower himself. When he exits the shower, he's toweling his wet hair and hears whimpering in the room. He thinks Dean's out there crying but it doesn't sound like crying. Castiel opens the door and sure enough the teenager is on the bed, jacking himself off. He clears his throat. "Are you sure we're not having sex tonight?"

Dean's eyes fly open, "Who the hell takes a shower in under five minutes!" he yells, covering himself all the way up to his head with the covers. 

Castiel bursts out laughing as he pulls on his boxers. "You're adorable." Dean gets up from the bed and starts to punch the older man in the chest but it doesn't hurt him. "Yeah- you wanna fight me- hmm?" Castiel struggles to get the boy under control and eventually just throws him on the soft bed so he doesn't get a punch at his nose this time. "You can try to fight me but you won't win."

Dean lays back on the bed, propped up on his elbows and panting. "I really hate you right now-"

His blue eyes fixate on Dean's hard cock, it was just out there. "Well that doesn't hate me." he points to his dick. Dean rolls over in shame, hiding his face. "Yeah, you probably shouldn't roll over like that when you're naked unless you wanna get fucked." his tone is smug and it kinda turns him on. 

Dean looks over his shoulder, he's pissed but he kinda wants it. 

"Oh you want it anyway?" Dean reluctantly nods, biting his lip. "So what-" Castiel comes closer, giving the boys white ass a squeeze. "-you wanna have angry sex?" he nods. "I can give you angry sex-" he starts kissing down the boys freshly washed back, until he reaches his ass, playing with those plump cheeks. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans, his hands gripping the bedspread underneath him.

"You've always been so submissive-" the older man comments right before he dives in to lick his pink hole. "Mmm-"

"Oh fuck-" Dean punches the bed lightly in frustration. "Ugh-" he suddenly rolls over and grabs his step father, shoving him down on the bed roughly. Castiel's eyes grow wide for a second at the sudden change in demeanor. 

"What are you-" he looks up at the teenager who now rolls him over roughly, now Castiel's ass is exposed after his boxers are pulled down and he's quickly moving to get up. 

Dean yanks on the older mans dark hair and whispers in his ear, "You're getting fucked tonight, bitch." before letting go and pushing him down against the mattress. Castiel is angry, looking over his shoulder but it turns him on anyway. "What, you can dish it but you can't take it? Fuck you." Castiel closes his eyes in that moment, expecting to get spit on for some reason but it doesn't happen so he reopens his eyes. 

Castiel has a good sense of humor and he wants to laugh at the boy right now but he bites his tongue. He'll let Dean have at it since he did promise to let him top once more so what the hell, he'll lay there and take it just this once. Dean doesn't prepare him in any way and he expected it, he's a teenager and probably doesn't care to since he's not the one getting it up the ass right now. 

Dean smacks his ass, against his better judgement his breath hitches. Castiel liked it. Dean does it again, even rougher. Castiel drew in another sharp breath. He hadn't planned of eating out the guy, he's never done it but- he's curious to see if the guy can be submissive. 

"Bitch." Dean smiles as he says it, smacking his ass once more. "You like that, huh bitch?" he yanks on the older mans dark hair, "Bitch, I asked you a question?" Castiel gulps, nodding before he's let go. Dean thinks about it for a moment before spreading the mans ass cheeks apart, not his cup of tea but he'll try it- after all he did just take a shower so why not. He begins to shyly lick at the hole and flick his tongue against it, feeling it twitch against his tongue was the strangest thing.

"Fuck." Castiel whispers, his head falling against the bed. Dean smiles, putting more pressure on the hole with his tongue as he licks. "Ughhhh-" the man moans loudly and hes almost shocked. It didn't sound like when Castiel fucked him, it sounded different. He stops licking, he tries to push his index finger in there and it surprisingly goes in. "Ughhhh- mmmm-" he moans and that just eggs him on even more. 

He pulls out his finger and replaces it with his dick, slowly pushing in- he wasn't as big as Castiel was but he was a decent size below the belt for his age. Dean groans softly as he pushes in all the way and the man below him moans like a whore. "Thought you didn't like getting your ass fucked-" he comments, now pushing in and out at a steady pace and tries not to come to soon. 

"Ughh-" Castiel arches his back in a way that makes his ass go up higher and Dean is in awe, just watching his dick go in and out of his ass. "-harder." 

Dean grabs onto the mans hips and starts pounding into him with all the strength he's got, "Fuck-" the sound of skin slapping skin was very loud in the silent room. All of Castiel's moaning has him going harder and harder until he comes- "Damn it." he pants, disappointed he couldn't last long. 

Castiel rolls over on the bed, "That all you got?" he's smug. 

"Shut up-had you goin' for a sec-" Castiel reaches for him and man handles him on the bed, bending him over. "Ugh-" Castiel positions himself behind the boys ass and eases inside without any prep work. "Ahh-ah-" he winces at the burn. "Fuck that huuurts-"

"You'll be fine-" Castiel starts slamming into him roughly, it hurts at first but once that sweet spot starts getting stimulated Dean becomes a crying mess under him. 

"Mmm-mmm-mm- Dean bites his lip, whimpering every time the cock in his ass punches in deeper. "-ugh-ugh-hmm-mmm-" he looks over his shoulder to see his step father pounding into him relentlessly. "Gonna-fuck- gonna come-" he moans into the pillow before spilling into the sheets once more and Castiel comes inside him- he can feel it, the hot warmth filing him up.

"And that's how it's done-" Castiel pulls out carefully, Dean's asshole twitches around the girth as if not wanting to let go of it. "Give it a few more years, you'll be able to do the same." he smacks his ass gently. 

Dean falls onto the bed, panting and half humiliated but he sort of liked it though he won't admit it. _Ever._ When he rolls over he quickly lunges himself onto the older man, shoving his tongue into his mouth and moaning desperately. "Hmm-mmm-mmm-"

Castiel gives into it, kissing him just as desperately before they tire themselves out a few minutes later. "You're making me crazy-" he whispers against the boys soft mouth. 

"You too-" Dean pants, letting himself rest against the mans sweaty chest. 

"You like angry sex, don't you?" Castiel asks him with a hint of concern in his voice. Dean nods, still catching his breath. 

"Yea, S'fun-" Dean sighs, now looking up at him. 

Castiel gives his ass a squeeze and Dean blushes. After a moment he says, "I'm sorry, for everything."

"I was pissed but it was mostly just-"

"You being a brat, I know." Castiel kisses the teens sweaty hair. "I know how you can get." after a while he says, "You like it when I'm rough with you, don't you?" Dean nods shyly. "You like being humiliated too huh?" 

"How'd you know-" Dean blinks up at him then.

"Because-" Castiel chuckles, "-every time I poke fun at you, it gets you all worked up." Dean pouts. "It's okay baby, some people get off on it-" he presses a kiss to his hair. "-we can have some real fun, now that I know about that little kink of yours." 

"Yea-" Dean reaches up, begging for a kiss with his lips. "Tomorrow-" Dean swallows. "-before we leave, I want to try something."

"What is it baby-" Castiel murmurs, his fingertips running up and down his back gently.

"Kinda want to fool around-" he shrugs, "-want you to treat me bad-like-" he can't explain what he wants.

"I know baby, I'll see what I do with you." he winks. "Let's get some sleep, we have a lot of work to do tomorrow." Castiel reaches over to the bedside lamp, shutting it off. Now in the darkness, they fall asleep in each others arms until morning. 

"So you gotta pay for it?" Dean asks while sanding at the register inside of the hardware store. "Sucks being a landlord-"

Once they make it back to his old house, Dean just stares at it while they sit in the car. He doesn't want to go in.

"It's okay baby, I repainted it and everything- can't tell John ever lived there." the teen nods and follows him up the walk way and into the home. It did look completely different. "You like it?" Dean nods, hands in his pockets. "Come on, lets do this so we can get out of here. The couple who lives here went out for the day so they wouldn't be our way-over here!" he calls out to the employee from the hardware store who had followed them to the house.

He walks into the home, wheeling in the brand new water heater out back to be replaced.

"Can't believe you paid nine hundred bucks-"

Castiel rolls his eyes and waves him over, Dean helps as much as he can- he's only good for the grunt work, not actually fixing anything unless it's a car. Eventually Castiel sends him away since he can't stop horsing around and cracking jokes with the hardware store guy who had stayed behind to help them out. Soon the guy leaves and Dean's standing the center of his old bedroom. 

"It's friggin' pink-" he states when Castiel walks in covered in sweat. Dean then he looks over and checks him out, "Hmm, I like it." Castiel smiles, pulling him in for a quick kiss. "Can we go now-" Dean mumbles, eye's half closed after the kiss. "-I'm tired."

"Sure baby." he guides Dean outside the home, just as they exit the couple comes up the drive way.

"Whose this?" The wife walks out of the car, baby in her arms.

"My boyfriend." Castiel says honestly and Dean can't believe he just said that.

"Oh-" she smiles, "-nice to meet you." then looks up at Castiel. "Thank you so much for coming over, we've been taking nothing but cold showers all week." she laughs.

"No problem, if you need anything just call me." Castiel smiles, leading the way back to the car. Before they get in, Castiel waves once more at the wife. 

"She seems nice, didn't even ask about my age." he's still surprised. "Maybe we will be able to get married-"

Back at the hotel room Dean's working on packing the few things Castiel had brought for them back into the duffel when he's hugged from behind. "Yea?" he asks, looking up over his shoulder.

"I love my kitten." he sighs dreamily, kissing the back of his neck. Dean exhales harshly. 

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"What about Claire-" he turns around, his arms wrap around the mans waist loosely. "-can't just ignore that you have a daughter. Can't you find her somehow?"

"I've tried-"

"Yea and I bet she's tried lookin' for you too but you friggin' changed your name. She's probably been searching for a James Novak all her life-"

"I don't want to talk about this right now baby." he can tell by the tone of his voice he's getting pissed off. "Let's just enjoy our time together."

"But-"

Castiel lets go and goes to the bathroom, the door locks behind him. Dean sighs heavily and sits down on the bed, they were about to check out so he's expecting him to come out sooner or later. In ten minutes the man emerges from the bathroom and his eyes are red like he had been in there crying.

"Sorry I brought her up." Dean says, Castiel shrugs and lifts the duffel so they can leave.

When they're back on the road Castiel says, "Claire's mother told me she had been adopted by a wonderful family, I'm not going to disrupt her entire life by finding her." Dean nods and they stay silent the whole ride back home.

Little did Castiel know, Claire's mother never put her up for adoption- she only told him that so he wouldn't come looking for her ever again. 

Soon it would surprise them both to find out that Claire was a lot _closer_ than they thought.


	54. Wayward Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Prequel) Broken Little Soldier- https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776085/chapters/62603506

Dean's standing by the entrance to the church while he waits for his friend to show up. Eventually he sees the boy running up the church steps and he waves him down, not like anyone could miss Dean Winchester. The teen had a unique look to him, pretty but rough around the edges. They fist bump and go inside towards class together.

"So no one gave you a hard time last week then?" he asks once they've taken their seats.

"No." Kevin smiles, "Guess word got around that I'm friends with Dean Winchester."

"Awesome-"

After class he asks his friend, "Want me to get that girls number for you?" he looks over at the blonde across the room who is sitting with the rest of the girls. Kevin nods so he gets up and goes over to her. "Hey-" he leans in close, "My friend over there-" he looks over at Kevin, she follows his gaze. "-he likes you, wants your number."

The blonde smiles and writes her number on a napkin for his friend.

"Sorry what's your name?" he asks.

"Claire-"

Dean's heart seems to stop in his chest, he doesn't say anything and just takes the napkin from her hand before going back to his friend. After handing Kevin the neatly folded napkin, his eyes dart over to the girl again. _Blonde hair, blue eyes._

"No friggin' way-" Dean mutters to himself. 

"What?" Kevin asks, face full of concern as he pockets the phone number. "Dean!" he calls after his friend whose just ran out of the classroom. "We got choir practice in five!"

Dean doesn't care about choir practice or Sunday school right now because he just met a girl his age named Claire and shes got blonde hair with blue eyes. His mind is on overdrive and all he can think about is that he found Castiel's daughter, he's not sure- it's highly impossible but he can't shake the thought. Even as Castiel drives to the diner for lunch afterwards, he can't shake the idea.

"Hello, Dean-" Castiel waves a hand in his face- they're sitting in their usual booth and their food is already on the table and ready to eat. "-everything okay?" 

Dean shakes his head, "I can't eat right now." he shoves his plate away.

"And why's that?" Castiel says with a mouthful of burger.

"Because-" he's nervous to say anything because he's most likely wrong about his suspicion. He has to be wrong. "-there's a girl in my class at church-" he pauses for a few seconds, he's got the mans attention. "-her name is Claire." Castiel looks at him, no emotion. "She's blonde and has blue eyes. Like yours-"

Castiel shoves his plate away, instantly having lost his appetite. "This isn't funny, Dean-"

"I know she can't be your daughter-" Dean laughs softly. "-what are the chances right."

"Did she just join your class?" Castiel asks casually.

"I noticed her my first day, just didn't know her name until now-" his voice dies down. "-I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sure there's lots of blue eyed blonde girls named Claire right." he makes a half ass attempt at a smile.

Castiel nods, "Finish up so we can go." 

"What, no pie?"

Castiel looks at him, "No pie." 

When they reach Bobby's house Castiel basically just dumps him there without saying much. Dean worries about him so he calls every hour at least twice with no answer, texts also go ignired so eventually he goes over with cookies he had baked in the oven with his uncles help. Yes, Dean Winchester baked cookies for the man he loves and they probably aren't very good. What did his uncle think about this sweet gesture? He thought Castiel was sick or something since it's what the teen had implied.

Dean knocks on Castiel's door and soon the scruffy man comes to open the door. He smiles like he wants to laugh. "You made these?" his eyes are focused on treats in his hands.

"Bobby helped-" 

"You're pathetic-" Castiel lets him in through the door, he hadn't taken offense to the comment because he knew he was- come on, he brought _cookies._ "-chocolate chip?" he takes the plastic container from the boy and opens it, sniffing their quality.

"You can trust them!" Dean roars suddenly, making the man flinch in surprise. "All I did was make the uh-" he stumbles, "-well I didn't really make anything, it was cookie dough I uh-" he makes the motion of slapping cookie dough on a cookie sheet- but does it to the air in front of him and that has the man laughing hysterically. "Shut up!" the teenager steals his cookies back. "You're a friggin' dick-" and hugs the container to his body protectively.

"Sorry-" Castiel wipes a tear that fell while he was laughing. "-you're so-" he starts laughing again. -cute."

"Are you done making fun of me?" Dean says softly.

Castiel nods, "Yeah-" but he keeps laughing. "Baby I'm sorry!" he yells hysterically in laughter when Dean's eyes begin to water. 

"If we get married I'm not doin' shit." Dean says, "I'm not cooking or baking nothin' for your dick ass."

" _If_ we get married?" 

"Yea, if we get married. Dunno if I wanna marry you anymore, gonna keep my options open-" 

"Well then, you go ahead and do that-" Castiel calms down, hand on his stomach since all the laughter had given him a stomach cramp. They're in the kitchen having those same cookies- they were actually kinda delicious- with some hot chocolate that he'd made for the boy. "I needed that." he smiles, trying not to laugh all over again. "It's been so long since I've laughed like that."

Dean huffs, hiding half of his face in his mug.

"You're the cutest thing ever baby." Castiel smiles at him warmly. "You're just what I needed-" Dean looks up at him, "-I love you." 

"Love you too." Dean mumbles, shoving the last cookie into his mouth. "Guess I forgive you and we can get married-"

"Thank God-" Castiel says sarcastically and just for a moment, they seem to _forget-_ so when they hear someone asking Castiel to come to bed, they don't think anything of it.

"In a minute!" Castiel yells in response to his name being called and it suddenly occurs to him- to both of them that no one should be in the house with them, much less be asking Castiel to come to bed. "You heard that-"

Dean's eyes are wide, "Uh yea-" he looks over to the darkened hallway. "-sounded like dad didn't it?" 

"It did-" Castiel licks his lips. "-for a second I forgot-"

"Yea me too, sorta felt like- before, when he was with us still."

Castiel nods and tells him to stay put before making his way down the hall carefully, knowing full well there isn't an intruder in his home, but the fact that he was called to bed by a voice that sounded like his ex lover is unnerving.

"John-" he says softly, flicking the light on in his bedroom and for a quick second he could have sworn he saw the dark figure of someone laying on the bed. "John?" he calls again, Dean's sudden hand on his shoulder has him spinning around in a second and shoving him back. "Fuck, I'm sorry-" he huffs in relief when he sees it's only his love.

Dean rubs up and down his arm, "Ow, you friggin' jerk." and punches him on the arm in retaliation. 

"Sorry baby. I'm sorry- don't sneak up on me." Castiel presses a kiss to the top of his head lovingly as an apology. 

"So you think he's haunting you?" Dean asks, hugging himself. "Why though?"

Castiel shrugs, "I don't know but I don't like it-" he rubs at his sleepy tired eyes. "Fuck, that's all I need- your father visiting me from the after life." After a moment of silence in the room he asks, "Can you sleep over?"

Dean nods, "I'll call Bobby, tell him you're too chicken to sleep by yourself."

Castiel nods in agreement, ghosts generally don't scare him but the ghost of John Winchester sure as _hell_ does. Though in his mind he's assuming there must be logical explanation, perhaps guilt or grief. They both know they haven't really processed it and moved on pretty quickly after they dumped his ashes.

Castiel's holding the teenager in his arms while they watch a movie in bed when they hear something in the house. He's been hearing it for a while now but ignored it. When Dean heard it too, it became impossible to ignore. "You hear that too, don't you?"

"Yea, didn't wanna say anything-"

"So what do I do?" Castiel genuinely asks for his input. 

"Dunno-" Dean thinks hard. "-I got nothin'-but, I can distract you." he smiles, his hand going under the covers to pull out the older mans soft cock and isn't at all surprised when it instantly hardens in his hand. 

Castiel doesn't fight it, he just leans back and watches the boy do his thing. "Go ahead baby, suck it-" he puts one arm behind his head. "-ughhh, just like that." his eyes close for a moment in pleasure, Dean was very good at this by now. "Ah-ah-teeth-" he winces, and Dean mumbles _sorry_ with his mouth full. "It's alright baby." he enjoys the blow job for a few short minutes until he opens his eyes once more and swears he saw a dark shadow standing by the open door. "Fuck-" he shoves the boy away.

"What-" Dean wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and follows his gaze, looking behind his shoulder at nothing.

Castiel's panting, hand on his chest- his heart was racing a mile a minute. "Thought I saw-" he exhales, his head hitting the pillow. "let's just get some sleep-"

"You didn't finish-" Dean relaxes into the mattress, half of his body over his step father. 

"That's okay baby." Castiel pulls him closer for safety reasons and his eyes don't leave the open door until he falls asleep. 

Later that week they're having dinner with Bobby when Dean's staring down at a bowl of beans. "Beans? " he squints at his step father. 

"They have potassium."

"Guess you want me farting in church tomorrow-"

Castiel quickly takes the beans away, "Right, you're gassy enough as it is." and Bobby laughs in utter agreement.

"I'm only human-" Dean defends himself. "- I'm healthy, Bobby's the one who never-"

"I'll pass gas right now if ya want me-"

"No!" Dean yells in the midst of laughter, "Can't trust a fart after forty. Don't want you shitting your pants in front of Cas-" and for that comment, Bobby reaches over and smacks him on the head.

"Agh-" Dean groans, rubbing his head while Castiel hides his smile behind his napkin. "Shut up Cas, know you're laughing at me, you dick."

Castiel bursts out laughing, covering his face and soon Bobby is too. 

Dean pouts, "God this house is full of freaks." After a while of silence, he makes the comment, "You know whose really gassy-" Dean chews with his mouth full. "-is Sammy. Give that boy a taco or burrito and you'll be sorry." The adults look at him before they start laughing again. "I'm serious, he stinks up the entire room."

"I refuse to believe there's a boy who-" Castiel pauses to find a nicer word, "-passes wind as much as you do." Things at the table are silent, mostly because Dean didn't want to be the butt of the joke anymore for the night. Eventually Bobby leaves the table after dinner so he takes the opportunity to talk to Dean now that they have some privacy. "You okay baby?" he speaks softly as they pretend to still be eating as an excuse to stay at the table.

Dean nods, then he leans over the table. "But Bobby didn't pick me up after my shift so I had to walk all the way back here-" he whines in pain, "-my feet are killin' me."

"Seriously?" Castiel looks over at the bearded man on the couch.

"Yea, guess his lady friend is more important." 

Castiel reaches over and gives his arm a squeeze, "I'm sorry baby. I'll see about getting you a new car-" he pauses. "-for your birthday."

Dean perks up in his hair, eyebrows raised. "You mean like-"

"Yes, a new car." 

"I know you're not my real dad but-" Dean gets up and hugs the man regardless if they are alone or not. "-you're the best friggin' dad in the world." Castiel blushes in the teens arms. 

"What's goin' on over there?" Bobby calls to them from the living room.

"Gettin' a new car for my birthday!" he cheers, slapping his step fathers shoulder roughly.

Castiel wipes his mouth on a napkin before getting up and clearing the table of dishes, "I said I'd think about it. First you have to get your license." Dean nods, not hearing a word- he was too busy day dreaming about his new car. 

The following day Castiel drives Dean to church and walks him to class as usual, though this time he lingers about in hopes of catching a glimpse of this girl named Claire. It's a long shot, completely impossible and utterly foolish to think this random girl could be his daughter but he's curious. Somewhat hopeful.

"You can't stay." Dean whispers, "You gotta go." Castiel nods and pretends to leave right then, but he lingers in the hall like a creep and watches the other teenagers walk in. Eventually he sees a blonde girl with blue eyes walk down the hall. She's approaching and his heart is thumping so hard in his chest.

The girl looks up at him as she passes by, giving him a smile before saying, "Excuse me-" 

Castiel quickly gets out of her way, forgetting to smile back at her and takes a moment to calm himself before heading to mass. He sort of thought he'd feel something if he were to ever be in front of his daughter once again but he felt absolutely nothing. 

During class both Dean and Kevin stare at Claire, eventually she notices them watching her and she gets uncomfortable. Kevin looks at her because he's obsessed with the blonde and Dean looks at her because he's convinced she's Castiel's daughter. He's aware it's a wild thought but he can't help be suspicious of this girl.

"What!" Claire whispers loudly, "Stop looking at me!" and the teacher scolds her for disrupting the class. "But they keep staring at me-" she defends herself and the teacher ignores her defensive pleas before resuming what he was saying.

When class is over Dean doesn't look over at her anymore and instead focuses on catching up with his new buddy about what happened during the week. He was slowly growing accustomed to his new routine and even though he didn't like Sunday school or church, he did like having somewhere to go to regularly and of course, having a friend his age to talk to about random stuff. 

"You like cars?" he asks Kevin as they continue chatting over their refreshments- he still hasn't drank the kool aid and never will. 

"I like books-" Kevin mumbles.

"Yea?" Dean likes books too, sure, but the kind of reading material he's fond of is too dark to be mentioned in a church and it's way too heavy for his new friend to understand. Eventually he says, "You should come over to my house sometime, hang out-"

"Sure. You live with your dad right, the guy who drops you off?"

"He's my step dad and no, I live with my uncle right now. So you wanna come over?" He nods, taking the invitation. "Awesome." Dean looks over at the door to see that Castiel is already there waiting for him. "Gotta go, see ya." he throws the rest of his cookies away and exits the classroom.

When they're sitting down at the diner for lunch as usual Castiel asks him, "Do you want to make some extra money?" in that moment their food arrives and they dig in, continuing the conversation. "Since I'm rarely home I was thinking about giving you a key to the house, you can come over and take out the trash for me, laundry, clean-" Castiel takes a bite of his sandwich, "-stuff like that."

Dean rolls his eyes, "I don't wanna be your friggin' maid, Cas-"

Castiel shrugs, "I was going to pay you three hundred a week-" Dean quickly retracts his statement. "-thought so. Besides, if you want to be my little housewife one day you have to learn how to clean and do laundry for me-" he takes another large bite of his sandwich with a smug smile.

"As your wife that means I get money when you die right?" he asks and is only half kidding.

Castiel rolls his eyes. "You're already my beneficiary." 

Dean smiles as he bites into his own sandwich, "So you do love me-"

"-and sometimes I have no idea why. " Castiel smiles, shaking his head. "Then you'll help me around the house?"

"Sure, Cas." Dean nods, he doesn't really want to do chores but it's extra cash.

Castiel reaches into his pocket and hands him an extra house key. "I was planning on giving you a key to the house anyway." Dean takes the key and pockets it, blushing. "It'll give you an excuse to come over more often-"

"So that's why you're hiring me to be your slave." he winks at the older man who sits across from him. "You want more sexy times-"

Castiel shrugs, "Fucking you really relaxes me-" he wipes his mouth on a napkin. "What can I say, your ass is made of gold. It's so juicy-" the man makes grabby hands.

"Cas-" Dean looks down at his half eaten food, his ears are going red. "-shut up about my ass." the teens blush makes him laugh.

That night Bobby and Dean are watching a movie on the couch until his phone pings with a text. "Who is it?" he looks over at the teen curiously.

Dean holds his phone in his hand, reading the text. "Cas wants me to come over and do his laundry." he'd already filled his uncle in on becoming his step fathers slave.

"It's late-" Bobby looks over at the clock on the wall. "-can't it wait?"

"For three hundred a week-" Dean stands up, shaking off the leg that had fallen asleep. "-no, it can't. Besides, dude needs fresh scrubs for work tomorrow." His uncle nods and allows him to go over.

The teenager takes his sweet time heading next door because he has no idea on how to do laundry, much less use a washing machine and he's got a hunch that he's about to get a really long tutorial on how to use one.

When Castiel opens the door, he looks delicious. His hair was damp from a recent shower, dripping over his forehead just the slightest bit and his button up shirt was hanging off his shoulders, unbuttoned to show off his bare chest. He pulls the teen into his home and whispering, "Hello, kitten." in the boys ear. "Play with me?" Dean nods sweetly, looking up at him innocently. "Fuck, you're cute baby-" 

Dean mindlessly follows the older man to the bedroom.

Castiel pulls out a pair of handcuffs from a drawer in his dresser. "Do you trust me?" The boy nods. "Then come here-" he beckons, and grabs his desk chair- dragging it towards the center of the bedroom. "Sit." As soon as the teen sits down, he cuffs his hands behind his back and he swallows nervously. "Look at me." he orders firmly.

Dean looks up at him through his lashes, Castiel runs the back of his hand down his cheek lovingly. "You're so fucking pretty." Soon Dean's left alone in the room for several minutes. When his step father returns he has a bowl of what appears to be ice cream. "Hungry?"

Dean shrugs, watching the man dip his fingers into the bowl of melting ice cream. He stands in front of him, holding out his hand- Dean takes the hint and starts lapping his fingers clean. _He likes it.._ as he licks, his gaze is fixed upon the older man in front of him.

"Suck." Castiel orders and Dean starts sucking on each of his fingers. Eventually he puts two into the boys mouth, fucking the mouth playfully. 

"Mmm-" Dean hums.

Castiel breathes out heavily, running his now clean fingers through the boys short hair. "What should I do with you-" he asks softly, just above a whisper.

Dean swallows again, unable to speak. 

"What-" the man smiles down at him. "Cat got your tongue?" his tone of voice is calm, deep and soothing.

Dean moans even though he's not being touched at all. 

Castiel dips his fingers into the melted ice cream once more and he begins to caress the boys face and lips, getting it all over his clear skin. "Messy boy-" he comments.

Dean moans again, struggling against the handcuffs.

"Bad kitten." Castiel slaps his cheek gently, Dean moans louder. The bulge in his Jean's now evident so Castiel unbuckles his belt, yanking it off his pants and letting it fall to the floor with a loud thump. 

Dean moans as he watches the man jack himself off in front of his face, he tries to stick out his tongue to try and get a taste of him but he's slapped once again. "Ughh-" he whimpers helplessly.

"I guess I can let you taste it-" Castiel smiles down at him, running the head of his cock over the boys sticky lips like lipstick before dipping it into his wet mouth. The teen moans over the thick cock in his mouth, his eyelashes flutter briefly. "Ah- ah- watch your damn teeth." he pulls out and slaps the boys cheek again.

"Mmmmughhh-" Dean moans, pre-cum and saliva dripping down his chin.

"You're a fucking mess-" Castiel caresses the boys face roughly, cleaning him up slightly with his hand as he does so. "Bad kitten."

Dean nods frantically, looking up at the man standing before him. 

"What does a kitten say?" Castiel's holding him by the chin, looking down.

Dean blushes, looking down at his lap. After a moment he whines, "Meow.." and it was quite convincing.

Castiel tries not to laugh at the cuteness, "Good kitten-" and leans down to give the teens sticky mouth a quick kiss. 

Dean has his eyes cast down still when he feels something cold dripping on his face so he looks up, Castiel's dripping melted ice cream from his fingers. "Open." He shakes his head in defiance and his face is slapped gently once again- Dean moans loudly before opening his mouth.

"Stick out your tongue, be good for me-" Castiel's nostrils flare up with desire, giving him the _dom_ eyebrow as well. "-or I'll make you sleep outside." he says, clearly in role play.

Dean groans, sticking out his tongue and soon the melted cream is dripping onto his tongue and lips. 

"Swallow." The teen shakes his head again. "What did I say?" he closes his mouth and swallows, then shows him his clean pink tongue. "Good kitten."

Dean looks up at him expectantly, waiting for what comes next. Castiel finally un-cuffs him and kisses his wrists to soothe the ache.

Castiel undresses right in front of him and goes to lay in bed. Once hes laying down, he pours what little ice cream is left onto his skin. Mostly on his chest and stomach, some on his thighs. "Don't look at me like that, you know what you need to do." Hes about to come closer when Castiel says, "Ah-ah- get out of those clothes first."

Dean moans again, climbing on the bed anxiously once he's stripped his clothes and starts off with the man's thighs first. He laps at the still cold and white creamy liquid all over his skin. Every time he licks, he makes a sucking sound because that's what hes doing to the older man's skin. He gets carried away, basically french kissing every inch of the man's body that is covered in that sticky sweetness. Dean couldn't help but this that if come tasted this good, he'd swallow it. 

Castiel groans, eyes watching the boys pink tongue and lips devouring his flesh hungrily. Every once in a while green eyes peek up to look at him as he moves up his body. 

"Mmmm-" The teen moans as he licks and sucks his way up until finally latching onto the man's sweet tasting neck. That's when Castiel loses his mind.

"You're just begging to get fucked-" Castiel wraps his arms around the boy, holding him against his body possessively. He warns, "-no mercy tonight." before lifting him up onto his bare lap and Dean's knees spread apart willingly- his cock is pressing up against his hole. "Be a good kitten." He orders and his cock pushes into that heat slowly, eventually letting him in completely. "Mmmmm-" Castiel rumbles into the boys ear.

Dean shivers, "Ugh"- and moans beautifully. The whole time the cock is grinding into his ass, he's got his eyes closed with his head bobbing back and forth. "Ugh-"

"So beautiful-" Castiel groans as he fucks into his love, hands possessively gripping the tender plump ass between his fingers.

"Can I come-" Dean moans the question after a few short minutes, his hands gripping onto the older man's shoulders for leverage as he does what he can to bounce up and down, though it's mostly his step father doing the heavy lifting. 

Castiel doesn't answer right away, not until the teen starts to tremble above him. That's when he gives him permission. "Go ahead and come now-" he says breathlessly.

Dean's eyes shut painfully tight as his orgasm hits and he comes, making a mess between their bodies. His hole twitches in such a way that it pulls an orgasm from Castiel too and he shoots his load into the heat he was just fucking. 

Castiel groans, chest heaving and Dean rests his forehead against his shoulder as they both try to catch their breath. "That what you had in mind?" he asks eventually, his fingers carding lazily through the the teens short hair.

Dean sighs heavily, "Yea- guess I do get off on being humiliated." and sits up in bed, blinking away the head rush. "Better get goin'- wait, do you really need me to do laundry for you?"

Castiel smiles, "You can do it tomorrow, go home and rest." Dean nods and slowly begins to redress himself while the man watches him fondly from the bed where he was still laying.

The next day at work Dean injures his back trying to lift a really heavy box and the manager had come over instantly. The man scolds him for not lifting with his knees and when the teen started crying from the pain in his lower back he backed off instantly, apologizing to him. Dean wipes his tears on a dish rag that he had been handed, of course the pain in his back was the culprit of his tears but every employee in the diner looking at him in that moment didn't help either. 

Robin helps him off the floor where he had fallen over with said box, "Ignore them-" she says as the crowd of employees begin to abandon the scene one by one. "-not much happens around here, you getting injured- well, that's the most fun they get around here."

"Yea-" Dean stands up slowly, his back is killing him. "Shit-" 

"Why don't you let me take over in here for today, you go out front and take orders."

Dean hands her his apron and goes out front to see what easy task he can manage to do aside from taking orders. It's noon when he sees the familiar dark haired man sitting at their usual booth so he limps his way over with Robin's notepad in one hand, the other on his lower back. 

"Hey, Cas-"

Castiel smiles before he even looks up, when he does, his smile falls. "What's wrong with you?"

"Hurt my back lifting somethin'-" Dean says stiffly before straightening up as much as his body will allow.

"I'll come by tonight to check on you-"

Dean takes his order of a sandwich and fries before heading to the kitchen to have Robin prepare his meal. When he comes back he's got his lunch break as well so he sits down with his step father and they share the meal. "Miss you baby." Castiel says quietly as he eats so the couple behind them doesn't hear.

Dean leans slightly over against the man, rubbing shoulders for a second. "Me too-" aside from the burning pain in his body, his tone seemed happy.

When they're done eating, Castiel has to go back to the hospital and he reassures him that he'll come over and bring him something to help with his pain. Dean's pretty useless at work that day since the main reason they hired him was basically because they needed another guy to help out with the dirty work and heavy lifting. Right now he was as useful as a girl according to the manager so he was let off work early today. Luckily Bobby was able to come by and pick him up on time.

Dean mopes around the house until he manages to fall asleep. Before dinner Castiel knocks on the door and shakes a bottle of pills in the air when Bobby opens the door, "Got these for him." and walks in, heading for the teenagers room. "Dean-" he opens the door to see the boy asleep on his bed.

Castiel sits down next to him, gently shaking him awake. "Baby-" he whispers, "-wake up." Dean's green eyes peek open, "Hey." and he sighs, just happy to see him. "How's your pain?" 

Dean tries to sit up but it hurts worse than before, he groans "Ugh-" and is unable to sit up. 

"Hmm-" Castiel studies him and helps him roll over onto his side against the boys wishes. "-does it hurt when I do this?" his fingers are pressing on a spot on his lower back that has the teen crying out in pain.

"Ow! Don't do that!"

"I'll come by before work, if it still hurts I'll take you in with me so you can get looked at-" both of them stare at the bottle of pills, "Well, take one." Dean just looks at them uncomfortably. "Right, you'd think I'd remember to get you some children's medicine-" the bitch face he's given has him saying, "-I'll see if I can get you morphine tomorrow." that makes the teen grin funny, "-it's not as fun as it seems, relax." 

"Right." Dean rolls over on his back, wincing as he does. "Just friggin' pick me up in the morning, this pain isn't goin' anywhere-"

Castiel nods, kissing him on the forehead before leaving.

The next morning they're sitting in the ER of the hospital where Castiel works, he's on the clock but comes around here and there to check on him. "Did you call in sick?" he asks him when he comes in. Dean just looks up at him from the bed dumbly. "You have to call in baby-" he shakes his head. "-I'll call for you. They take an x-ray yet?"

"Yea-" he says softly, his back is killing him and he's scared. "They did another scan too-"

Castiel picks up on his fear, "You're going to be fine, probably just pulled a muscle." Dean nods. "No more heavy lifting alright."

"Sure, doctor." Dean bites his up, his hand pulls the older man close and he quickly pulls away. "You're no fun."

"I'm working-" Castiel sighs, "-I'll come check on you soon." he gives him a quick kiss before heading out. An hour later Castiel comes back with his lab and x-ray results in hand. "So your x-ray came back normal, guess I was right when I said you pulled something-" his eyes are focused on his chart so he hadn't realized Dean had just woken up from a nap when he came into his room. "-and your vitamin levels are still low, even with weekly injections." he turns the page. "Hmm-"

"Is that bad?" Dean asks, full of concern.

"I'm not going to worry just yet, it takes time to get them within normal range." Castiel puts the chart away, and starts preparing the injection he had brought with him, Dean hadn't seen it until just now.

"What's that?" he sits up painfully.

"Morphine-" Castiel flicks the needle, "-this is going in your IV, not your arm." Dean pushes down his sleeve and watches the clear liquid be injected into his IV line. "You should start to feel good right about now-" he looks at the teenager who has his _orgasm_ face on. "-Dean?"

Dean opens his eyes wide, "Yea, I'm Dean-" 

Castiel smiles, "Glad I didn't give you a full dose-" he tosses the needle in the sharps container and organizes his papers. "Hows that back doing?"

"Dunno, can't feel it-" Dean begins to scratch mindlessly on his left arm.

Castiel notices and comes close, pushing up the sleeve of his henley to reveal fresh scars. "Thought you were done with this-" he says impatiently. Dean's too doped to answer and instead becomes overly emotional. "Shh, we'll talk about this later-" he calms him down as best as he can before he makes a scene. "-don't let any of the nurses see this or they'll report it and admit you for being a danger to yourself." Dean nods slightly. "I have to check on a patient whose just getting out of surgery, I'll come back soon." 

Once his IV bag is empty they remove it completely since he won't be staying the night, Castiel had arranged to take him home that night after his shift. The drugs haven't worn off by the time a nurse guides him into the waiting room so he can wait until he's ready to go home. Dean giggles as he's being guided to a chair. "Muh legs are jelly-" he plops down on the chair, looking up at the nurse with his big green eyes. "You got any snacks here or no?"

The nurse giggles, "Wait here-" before leaving the waiting area.

Dean watches her walk away, enjoying the view of her apple bottom shaped ass. After fifteen minutes go by he's starting to think she forgot about his snack until she returns with a pack of sugar free cookies and a small carton of milk another ten minutes later.

The nurse hands him the snacks, "Here you go-" before leaving for good this time.

Dean tears open the package of cookies, one falls on the floor and rolls away from him. "Shit-" he looks around hoping no one saw that. Then he opens his milk carton and starts chugging. Once his snack is gone he begins to get bored so he pulls out his phone and texts Robin to kill some time.

Eventually Castiel bursts through those double doors to the waiting room, "Finally-" he groans impatiently, lifting his arms up expectantly.

"What-oh you want me to help you up." Castiel smiles. "You're such a baby-" he hugs the teen tightly, "-on three. One-two-three-" and hoists him up off the chair and a string of _ow, ow, ow's_ spill from Dean's mouth. "It's not so easy to get morphine so don't expect more-"

Once they're both buckled in the car he asks, "You okay?"

"Just friggin' peachy-" Dean says sarcastically. While they drive home he mentions, "I want McDonald's."

"Sure-" Castiel makes a turn so they can go pick up some food. When they get there he pulls up to the drive thru, "What do you want baby?"

"Nuggies-" Dean clears his throat, "-nuggets and fries." he corrects himself. Apparently morphine has him thinking he's five years old all over again. Castiel tries not to laugh before ordering for the both of them. 

The drive home is silent and Dean is confused when he parks up at his house instead of Bobby's.

"He said you could stay here with me until your back feels better, since I can take care of you-" Castiel steps out of the car with their food and helps the teen out of the car as well, somehow managing to help him up the porch steps and hold onto the bag of food in his hand. "Hold on baby-" he runs to the living room to grab one of the couch cushions and puts it against the back of the chair he guides Dean to. 

Dean's almost done with his nuggets when he looks around and asks, "Where's my ice cream?"

"You didn't tell me to get any-" Castiel stands up and starts picking up the trash from the table.

"Yea, I know I did-" he defends himself.

"You did not, stop it-" Castiel rolls his eyes and starts on yesterdays dishes that were still in the sink. 

"You forgot my ice cream!" Dean yells at him from the table which makes the older man turn around, "I want my ice cream, asshole."

"Are you being serious right now?" Castiel tries his best not to laugh. "Boy, you're never getting morphine ever again-" Dean finds a stay chicken nugget under his napkin and throws it at the older man, hitting him in the butt. "Dean, behave yourself-" he picks it up and tosses it in the garbage. 

"But I want my ice cream-" he begins to cry, covering his face. 

Castiel is stunned at his behavior, "What's wrong with you-" and though he's confused he reaches inside the freezer for the carton of ice cream. "Here, ice cream-" and places it in front of the crying teenager. "Happy now?"

"No!" Dean cries, "It's not the same-" and wipes his face on the sleeve of his shirt. "My happy meal didn't make me happy-"

"You didn't have a happy-" Castiel groans in frustration, "You're fucking annoying-" and goes back to the dishes in the sink. When he's done he looks over his shoulder to find the teenager scarfing down the ice cream anyway. "I'm going to take a quick shower, don't move." 

By the time Castiel is done in the shower he forgets all about what happened beforehand. Dean's now in the living room, sitting on the couch watching something on the television. "Missed you baby-" he takes a seat next to the teen and tries to kiss him but is rejected. "What?"

Dean shrugs, flipping through the channels.

"Don't tell me you're still mad about-"

"I don't have parents!" he yells and it hurts Castiel's ears. "If I want ice cream you should get it for me, it's only a friggin' dollar!"

"So, I'm just supposed to read your mind about the things you want!" he yells back and it hurts the teens ears. "Look, I'm sorry alright. I know I shouldn't yell at you." Dean shrugs, looking at the television screen. "Baby please-" 

Dean throws the remote across the room and hits the wall, the batteries fall out. 

"Dean!" he yells, going over to pick it up- assembling it back together. "Stop it-"

"Or what-" Dean mocks in a nasty tone, "-you're gonna hit me?" the older man ignores him, tossing the fixed remote on the couch before going to his bedroom to cool off, locking the door behind him. Castiel was in there a few hours before hearing the door unlock from down the hall so he tries his luck, "Cas-" and peeks inside the bedroom to find his step father on the bed. 

Castiel looks up from the book he was reading in bed, glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Hmm-" and gets back to reading.

"You don't love me anymore then?" he asks instead of apologizing before getting under the covers.

"What's wrong with you?" he looks over at the teen. "I know you're not mad over ice cream."

Dean shrugs before saying, "Don't like workin' at the diner and I hate all the noise and people tellin' me what to do and when. My nerves all shot to friggin' hell-"

"I won't be mad if you quit." Castiel puts his book away on the the nightstand before he lays back, pulling the teen close. "You'd still be making money here with me. You have a key now, just let yourself in while I'm at the hospital and clean up."

"You're just doin' this so you have an excuse to give me money." 

"I actually really do need your help, It's like I have time to do anything. Besides, you already cut the grass around here- you shouldn't do it for free."

"You really won't be mad if I quit?" 

"Of course not baby, you were going to quit when school started anyway." he kisses the teens hair. "I want you to relax and focus only on school." 

"Okay-" Dean sighs in relief. "-but it was the drugs making me crazy." he still tries to justify it.

"Of course it was." Castiel nods sarcastically. Eventually he mentions, "We're going to have to go get you a suit, for your communion."

Dean sighs, "Don't even have anything memorized-"

"What are you doing in class then?" Castiel's strict voice is back. Dean shrugs. "You have to learn your prayers-"

"Is there a test?"

"Well no-"

"So then how the hell are they gonna know I haven't studied?"

"I guess you're right, they'll let you do your communion regardless." Castiel states, "You'll have to go to confession before-"

"Oh my God-" Dean groans. "Do I really gotta do all this fuckin' shit-"

"Language." he scolds, "Yes you do and you'll confess when they tell you to-"

"You're such a dad." Dean teases hatefully. 

Castiel gives him a goodnight kiss on the lips, "Go to sleep, let's see how you wake up tomorrow baby."

Dean manages to fall asleep pretty quickly and when he couldn't, he gave up and switched on the bedside lamp so he could read more of his novel in peace. When the teenager rolls over onto his back, he catches a glimpse of something he hadn't wanted to see. _Scars.._ they still need to talk about that one of these days.

Dean isn't looking forward to confessing his _sins_ to Pastor Jim, but Castiel paid him fifty bucks just to go and get it over with so he obeys. Castiel still doesn't like how easily the teen does things for cash. 

"Good luck-" Castiel chuckles, leaving him with the pastor. 

Dean frowns before following Pastor Jim to the confessionals, he really doesn't like this. It's dark in there and stuffy- smells weird too. "So-" he claps his hands anxiously.

"Repeat after me-" Dean nods, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned-" he repeats everything he's told to. "Now, let's begin-"

"Uh-" Dean thinks about it, he can't possibly tell him that his biggest sin is messing around with his step father. So he confesses about pretty much everything else-from petty theft, to lies he's told, beating people up for fun until eventually saying something he didn't think he would end up saying. "I have these feelings-" the pastor nods through the small window, not making eye contact. "-I want to explore them more, they're sexual feelings-"

"Go on-" 

Dean swallows, "I like sex-" he admits and kinda liking this. It's sick but he wants to shock pastor Jim because he knows the guy has to keep his secrets. "I love sex-" the pastor shifts uncomfortably as the teen speaks. "Honestly, I masturbate a lot-" Dean laughs, "Like A LOT-"

"Okay, Dean-" Pastor Jim laughs uncomfortably, "I want you to recite-" and gives him orders of what to pray that night before he goes to bed. "Thank you, we're all done here."

"That's it?" Dean smiles, "That was easy. Well, thanks padre-" he exits the confessional, feeling light as air. When he meets up with Castiel he yanks on his tie, guiding him towards the exit of the church and he does that in front of all the other church goers. "That was kinda cool, might confess again some time-"

Castiel laughs, fixing his dark blue tie. "I assume that I don't have to tell you not to mention us-" he reminds the teen while they walk towards his car.

"I didn't and I won't-" he reassures his step father, "But I told him I jack off a lot-"

"How could you tell him that-" Castiel shakes his head, unlocking his car and they both get in.

"It's a sin isn't it?" Dean looks over at him, Castiel nods. "You should confess to, you probably jack off a lot too-"

Castiel laughs loudly, "Oh please, I barely have enough time to fuck you-" 

"Speaking of fucking-" his hand starts rubbing on his step fathers thigh, "-you gonna fuck me any time soon?" 

Castiel bites his lip, guiding the teens hand to his crotch while he drives. "You miss me baby?" the hand on his crotch gives him bulge a hard squeeze. "Mmm, guess you do-" 

They go out for a quick lunch before Castiel drops Dean off at Bobby's with a plan to meet up after his uncle goes to bed. Castiel is freshly showered and reading a book in his bed when he hears foot steps coming closer to his bedroom. At first he's thinking it's whatever is haunting him until the teens pretty face peeks in through the door and he relaxes. 

"Hey baby-" he looks at the digital clock on the nightstand. "You're early." 

Dean shrugs, pulling off his shirt and pushing down his jeans. Castiel was already naked and he let him know by simply pushing the blanket out of the way. "I'm ready for you baby-"

"God that thing is huge-" he smiles before climbing on the bed, "How do you want me?"

Castiel practically growls before manhandling him onto his stomach, lifting up only his ass. "Take a shower?" Dean nods quickly and he dives in, devouring the teens pink hole. "Love this cute butt-" he spanks it.

"Mmmugh-" Dean moans.

Castiel pushes in completely once he was sure his hole was prepped enough- he was right, as always- because Dean moans loudly into the silent room. A slow pace is kept, he didn't want to just fuck him tonight, instead wanting to take his time, drag it out and enjoy it a while before making him come. "So tight-" Castiel comments before placing his hand on the teens lower back, guiding him down lower.

"Agh-" Dean groans loudly, the hand on his back pushes down further and he cries out. "Agh-fuck-" Castiel thinks he's just enjoying himself but his back is starting to hurt once again. They hadn't had sex since before he'd injured himself so this was a surprise, "Ugh, Cas-" he moans in pain, "Stop-"

Castiel slows down a little bit, leaning over his back and it was the wrong thing to do because Dean begins to cry loudly for the first time in forever, "Baby, what-"

"Back-" he says stiffly.

"Oh shit-" Castiel quickly straightens up and pulls out carefully, "I'm so sorry baby, did I hurt you?"

Dean shakes his head, "Thought my back was better-" and lets himself fall completely on his stomach now. "Don't think I can-"

"It's okay baby." Castiel kisses his lower back, "How about a massage instead?" the teen nods in agreement so he begins to kiss his lower back lovingly a few times before using his hands to gently rub the tender muscles. Dean doesn't get much enjoyment, even the massage hurts but he tries to relax anyhow- eventually he rolls over onto his back, spreading his legs open. "What are you doing-" 

"How bout' you fuck me-" Dean smiles, "-like a girl." and tries not to laugh.

"I can do that-" Castiel spreads his legs open, licking his fingers and rubbing the pink hole once more before easing in again. "Just relax baby-"

Dean nods, breathing in and out of his mouth slowly. "Mmmm-" he hums, his eyes focused on the older man above him.

"You're beautiful-" Castiel breathes out, thrusting slowly and gently in and out- being careful as to not hurt him, eventually brushing up against his prostate.

"Ughhhhh fuck-" Dean cries softly.

"You like that?" his voice is soft, the teen nods and he does it again.

Dean hooks his arms under his legs to keep himself open, "Ugh-" he cries again.

"You're okay-" Castiel reassures him lovingly, "You're doing so good for me-" and continues fucking him slowly, in and out. _Deeply._

"Mmmmmm-" Dean's biting his lip, still keeping eye contact. "Feels so good-" his voice is broken, hoarse.

"Feels good for me too baby-" Castiel moans along with him, "Mmmm-"

Dean feels a tightening warmth flooding his stomach and groin area, he's close. "Gonna come-" he breathes harshly. "Cas, gonna come-" his tone sounds panicked.

Castiel hovers close over him, "Shh, go ahead and come-" and doesn't fuck him harder or faster, just keeps the same pace and lets Dean get there on his own. "Come when you feel like it-" Castiel french kisses him lazily, "I love you so much-" 

Dean's eyes shut painfully tight, "Coming-" and explodes between their sweaty bodies. "Ughhh, Cas-" his voice is completely broken. "-love you."

Castiel keeps grinding into him, slowly and deeply until he comes too. "Fuck. I love you more-" he sighs, rolling off to his side of the bed. After they're had a few minutes to rest he says,"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me-" they make eye contact. "I mean that."

Dean nods with a smile, his hand rests on top of the older mans chest. "You too, asshole." after a while of cuddling he starts laughing softly. "You kinda made love to me-"

Castiel smiles weakly, "Well, you wanted to get fucked like a girl-"

"I liked it-" Dean sighs before peppering kisses all over the mans chest. "-loved it, actually."

Castiel runs his fingers through the teens sweaty hair as he whispers another truth, "Just so you know, you own me-" that's when the teen's eyes suddenly grow wide before he's scrambling off the bed, to his knees on the floor, still completely nude. Castiel props himself up on his elbows, "What the hell are you doing-"

"Promised Pastor Jim I'd pray tonight-" Dean winks at him before placing his elbows on the bedspread and clasping his hands together in front of him.


	55. Unicorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for this chapter :o I like causing drama

Dean keeps his hands clasped together on his lap so that they don't tremble under the gaze of his therapist. That's where he is on this dreary Monday morning and he's feeling more nervous than usual as he sits on the familiar leather couch. It had been a few weeks since he's been in this room and the fact alone isn't helping, he seems to always forget how much being vulnerable sucks ass. Therapy makes him feel so.. _naked._

His voice is soft, shy almost as he says "I'm doin' Fine-" and looks up at her briefly before looking down at his hands again.

"Last time we met, I asked you to think of a subject you would like us to focus on. What would you like to discuss today?"

"Yea-" he sighs, finally leaning back against the couch "I want to talk about-" and hesitates before lifting the sleeve of his sweater. "-these."

The therapist looks at his fresh scars and instantly a look of sadness washes over her face. "I've been wanting to discuss those further. May I ask why you harm yourself?"

"I don't like who I am." Dean blinks away the tears so they don't fall and she asks why he hates himself. "My mom left me, My dad hated me-" after a moment of silence he says, "I can't friggin' keep it in my pants either, I-I wanna fuck everyone and everything." his eyes are cast downwards in shame. "I'm in love with my step father-" he admits again, but she already knew that. In fact, it's all she knew about it.

She scribbles something down, "Let's discuss that first." her eyes fixate on him intensely. "Are you currently involved with multiple-"

Dean quickly shakes his head, "No. I-I mean I've had sex once, with an old girlfriend before but we didn't get very far." he'd never tell her he's had sex with his step father already. Maybe when he's eighteen he'll let her know since she won't be able to do anything about it then.

"Is she the only one you've been with sexually?"

"I almost hooked up with this older chick at the diner where I work-" he blinks away the memory. "-Cas was really pissed-" after saying that he doesn't continue his sentence or she may pick up on something she doesn't need to know about just yet. "I love kissing-" he admits suddenly, looking up at her through his lashes. "-if I like someone, I kiss them-I've kissed all my friends."

She smiles warmly, "Kissing is nice, isn't it?" and he nods in agreement. "Nothing wrong with kissing. What you said about kissing all your friends, that interests me-" she writes something down on her notepad, "Perhaps you're seeking affection from everyone around you since you didn't get it from your father-"

Dean nods, "Sounds about right-" and huffs a miserable laugh. 

"I suppose I don't have to tell you about being safe during sex-" she treads lightly on the subject. 

"I know-" he swallows. "-am I bad because I want to have sex all the time?" his voice is insecure and soft.

"Not exactly." she smiles again. "If you're safe, and both people consent to being intimate with each other I see no problem with that but I do recommend waiting until you're at least eighteen before engaging in-"

Dean's cheeks are burning, "Got it, yea-" 

"So the scars, talk to me about them."

"I do it in the bathroom, it's the only place I have privacy at my uncles house-" Dean starts, "-he still uses those old school razor blades, you know-" she nods. "-well, once in a while I steal one and I use it-" 

"Give me an example of an event that causes you to self harm and if you remember, tell me how this began?"

Dean thinks about it, "I think I was about Sixteen-"

"So, it's been a little over a year and a half then?" he nods. "What do you feel caused you to begin self harming?"

"Uh-" he looks around the room, "-nothing specific. I think I did it cause I liked pain I guess-" there's a pause. "-it felt like a high. If I was mad or sad, I'd cut myself and it helped me relax." he looks up at the therapist and seeing no judgement. _Whew.._ "But I do other things-" Dean rubs the back of his neck.

"Such as?" 

"I shot a bird, at my uncles-" he says it quickly. "-and I liked it."

"Hmm-" she looks pensive. "Maybe it comes from the fact that you've been hurt deeply and you want to make others hurt, in your case a bird."

Dean nods, "I guess that makes sense. I wanted to kill my dad-" he admits. "-I shot him too, it was an accident but I wish he had died."

"Now that he is- _dead,_ how do you feel?"

Dean blinks away the tears, "Shit. I keep forgetting he's dead-" 

"It's okay." she smiles. "Grief affects all of us differently. Let's talk more about your self harm-"

"Right, yea-" Dean coughs into his hand nervously. "I started doing it last year and um- it was probably after a fight with Cas." he thinks about it, recalling the memory. "Yea, it was after a fight with Cas- we were goin' through some stuff-" he really can't say what they were going through so he's trying to be vague and failing. 

"What stuff?" the therapist sits up in her chair. "Everything you say in this room is confidential."

Dean nods, "We weren't really talking all that much for the last few years-" that surprised her. "-we used to hang out a lot when I was younger but as I got older, I stayed away away from him." she asks why that is. "Dunno, don't all teenagers hate their guardians?" she laughs, nodding. "But I started getting sick this year-" he swallows. "-low something, I don't even know- Potassium and B12 or something-"

"Right yes-" she nods. "-those tend to be low when you have an eating disorder." Dean closes his eyes and flinches at the word. "Dean, we need to talk about that at some point-" 

"Yea-" he licks his lips. "I know, just- can't yet. I didn't know what I was doing- but I felt like I was dying." saying that aloud has a tear rolling down his freckled cheek.

The therapist gets up to hand him the box of tissues, "You're okay, Dean." and sits back down on her chair across from him. "Do you still feel that way-"

"Like I'm dying?" she nods. "No- not that much. I-I eat now." she smiles. "I have to eat, Cas worries about me a lot and I hate to see him like that."

"So you eat for him right?" he nods. "It doesn't matter why you're making the effort to improve as long as there's an effort to improve. May I say something?" he nods with a weak smile. "You're looking a whole lot better than when we first met-" she giggles, "-I just had to say it, you look great."

"Thanks-" Dean smiles, "-I worry about not getting better before school starts." he admits. "What if I'm in class and freak out or what if I miss a day because I end up in the hospital-"

"Dean, that's your anxiety- and if you end up in the hospital, well- it happens to all of us, eventually everyone goes to the hospital for one reason or another, but the point is- you've made progress and you're not as sick as you were before. Try to continue eating the way you have been, indulge your sweet tooth also-" she smiles, so does the teenager on her couch. "Tell me, what are some of your favorite desserts?"

Dean laughs into his hand, "I love pie-" she smiles, laughing too. "-I really like milkshakes too."

"Me too!" she smiles warmly at him. "Allow yourself to have those things when you can, you deserve them."

Dean visibly relaxes for the first time this session, "You actually put me in the mood for some pie-" he laughs. When they both calm down from their laughter, "I'm gonna quit my job at the diner-"

That surprises her too, "I thought you liked your job?"

"Yea-" Dean sniffles. "-but I'm gonna be starting school soon, was gonna quit then anyway. Cas is gonna pay me to do stuff around the house-"

"That's right, you're not living with him anywhere-" she writes something down on her pad. 

"He's next door so it's not a big deal-" he sniffles again, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his sweater.

"Dean, I'm afraid we're running out of time." he nods before they both stand up at once. "Next time, I want to talk about your-"

Dean nods quickly, "Yea-alright." he smiles, following her down the hallway to the waiting room where his uncle was waiting for him.

"How'd it go?" Bobby stands up. His uncle had brought him to his appointment before going to the diner for lunch since Dean was going to quit today and figured the kid needed the extra support.

"Good-" he smiles at the bearded man, "I like talking to her." 

"I'm glad son-" and he really was, it seemed therapy was finally starting to help.

They make the drive to the diner with Dean singing beautifully in the car after finally having dropped the shyness over being able to sing like an angel. His uncle was pretty impressed by his voice. When they park up front Dean and Bobby get out, making their way inside. After Bobby goes off on his own to find a booth, Dean goes out back to talk to Robin. 

"Robin-" he finds her in the kitchen. "Can we talk-" and he pulls her aside by the arm.

"I don't like where this is gonna go-" she crosses her arms at her chest, looking up at him expectantly. 

"I'm gonna quit-" 

"No!" Robin squeals, "You can't!"

"This was just a temporary gig-" he pulls her in for a hug since she had started crying almost instantly. "-don't be so dramatic, I'm still gonna come in all the time-" when she won't stop he says, "-if there's a day you really need my help, I'll come in."

She pulls away from her friend, "Okay-" and shrugs. "I guess that's better than nothing." They both notice Lisa walk in, "You gonna tell her you're quitting?"

Dean looks over at the tall brunette, "No-" then looks down at Robin. "You're a good friend, I won't forget that you helped me get my first job-" her eyes begin to water again so he changes the subject. "-bring me some pie and a milkshake will ya? I'm gonna go talk to the manager-" she nods and gets to work on his order before she goes to ask Bobby what he'll be having.

Dean talks to the manager and explained the situation, he didn't care and just wished him luck with everything. _Well, that was easy.._ he thinks to himself. Afterwards, Dean goes to join Bobby at the booth he'd chosen and his milkshake and pie were already there waiting for him.

"So I quit-" he beams, sitting down in front of his uncle, who didn't seem too happy about it. "What?"

"Nothin-" Bobby bites into his burger. "Just wish you woulda' stayed workin' here until school starts-"

"I'm gonna make more money with Cas anyway-" he stabs his pie with his fork, his _I just quit my job_ buzz was wearing off fast. 

"I just worry about ya locked up in your room all day-" 

"And I worry about you out back with your head under the hood of a car all day, mister anti social-" Dean snorts. 

"Hmm-" Bobby hides a smile. "-guess were both loners."

"Runs in the fam-" Dean smiles, mouth full of pie in the most charming way.

"Least I got a girlfriend-" Bobby says happily. 

"Ohh, she's your girlfriend now-" Dean reaches over to punch his uncles shoulder playfully. "You dog-"

Bobby shrugs, "She's been wantin' to tie me down for a long time-" 

"That's great Bobby, I'm happy for you." 

As they eat their lunch, Dean pulls out his phone to text Castiel that he's quit his job at the diner. "Ready to go?" Bobby asks and he nods. They chug down the last of their drinks before rushing out of the diner and into the truck. "What he say about all this?" his uncle asks, gesturing to his cell.

Dean pockets the phone, "He's cool with it- asked me to come over tomorrow to help him around the house." his uncle nods before starting the truck.

The following day Castiel's got the day off so he goes over to Bobby's to grab Dean to put him to _work._ "Hello-" he says casually as he pulls open the screen door and walks inside the home.

Dean smiles over his spoonful of cornflakes, "Hey-"

Castiel grabs a cup of coffee before sitting down at the table, "Bobby out back as usual?" he nods. "When you're done with that I want you to come over-" The teen smiles seductively, "Not for that-" his smile falls. "-I want you to rake the leaves out front, and cut the grass."

"Sure-" Dean forces a smile because it beats working at the diner. 

Castiel sticks around until he's done eating breakfast, "Ready?" and stands up, chugging the last of his coffee before they head outside. "Cutie-" Castiel wraps an arm around the teenager as they make the walk down the road to his place. "I really miss seeing you everyday-"

Dean looks ahead as they walk, "Yea, me too-" 

"First rake the leaves-" Castiel hands him a rake as soon as they get to the house. "When you're done put them into trash bags, then go around back and the lawn mower is in the tool shed." 

"You got it, Cas-" Dean smiles and gets to work, but not before the older man french kisses the living daylights out of him. He pushes the guy away eventually with the excuse of, "Bobby might see us you freak-"

Castiel laughs and goes inside to his office to do some work on his computer. When he logs in, he finds something he wasn't quite expecting to see- an email from _Meg._ "Damn it-" he curses aloud, thinking he would never hear from her ever again. After opening the email, it surprises him to see that it only contained four words. Four words he wasn't expecting to see.

_Clarence,_

_I miss you_

Castiel thinks about things for a long time as he stares at the email. Meg had been by his side through thick and thin, for years. He had to admit that he missed her too, but she _knew.._ about him and Dean, how could he be friends with her again. Despite of the facts he does respond to the email.

_Meg,_

_I miss you too.. but I think it's best we leave our friendship in the past._

_I'll never forget you._

_Love always, C_

As soon as he sent the email, instantly his heart starts beating a mile a minute. He doesn't want to end his friendship with this woman, but he can't keep both Dean and Meg, not after what she saw him do. After a while, Castiel begins to work and forgets all about the email- it had to be at least an hour, that's when his email chat box pings with an instant message from Meg. Although he didn't recognize the username, he knew instantly it was the nurse because she had some kind of fascination with unicorns.

 **Unicorn Babe:** Can _we meet for coffee? Please?_ _I want us to work things out.. we were best friends._

_**Castiel N:** I've moved away, it won't be possible to meet for coffee._

**Unicorn Babe:** I _have a car you know_

 **Castiel N:** I'll _email you directions to a diner I frequent often._ _And I'm meeting you for coffee, not to discuss the past._

 **Unicorn Babe:** _Yes sir._

 **Castiel N:** _I dig the username by the way._

 **Unicorn Babe:** _I miss you!!!_

 **Castiel N:** _Alright- I'll email you those directions, gotta go._

Castiel quickly logs off the chat because he doesn't want to give her the chance to say anything further, "Fuck me-" he says aloud while typing up those directions for his old friend. He wonders if he's making a mistake by going to see her or not and if he should even tell Dean anything about it. He could keep it a secret, it's not like he works there anymore but Robin will surely tell him if he shows up to the diner and meets up with some woman she's never seen before. 

He goes to the kitchen to grab some water to take to the teenager working outside, "Got you something to drink-" he holds up the glass. Dean quickly comes up to him, "How's it going out here?" his blue eyes look over the front lawn.

"It's goin'-" Dean chugs the water quickly. "Done with the leaves, I just gotta cut the grass-" he pants, hanging him the glass before going back to work.

Soon the lawn mower starts up, drowning out all other sounds and Castiel watches him for a while before heading back into his office. He can't get Meg out of his mind and he's wondering if it's a big mistake going to meet up with her, but he misses her deeply. It's been a few months now since they've seen each other, much less spoken. Other than Bobby, he's got no one around to call a friend. He's got some friends at work now but they don't compare to the friendship he had back home with Meg.

"Done-" Dean comes by Castiel's office a good two or so hours later. "Tell me that's it for today cause I'm tired-" he uses the end of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face.

Castiel spins the chair around so he can see Dean, "There's one more thing I need you to do for me-"

"You gotta be kiddin' me-" he's drenched in sweat from working outside all day, clearly the September chill in the air did nothing to cool him down.

Castiel leans back against his office chair, unbuttoning his jeans. "Thought maybe you could suck my dick before you go-"

The teenager nods with a flirty smile before walking up to the man and getting down on his knees, between the man's open legs. "I keep forgetting how big that thing is-" he bites his lip, watching the man stroke himself.

"All yours baby-" Castiel pushes his cock past the teenagers lips, "Fuck-" he sighs. He's got one hand resting on his thigh and the other hand is gripping the back of Dean's neck loosely, urging him down. "You're so good at this now-"

Dean pops off for a moment, "Lots of practice-" he mumbles softly before resuming his task. "Mmmmm-" 

"Do that again-" Castiel orders, spreading his legs a little wider.

"Mmmmmm-" Dean hums, the vibrations in his mouth making the man underneath him groan like a beast. "Mmmm-mmm-"

"That's enough-" Castiel pulls him off, Dean's thinking he's already going to come but the older man grabs him and pushes him against the hardwood floor, lifting his ass in the air. "You don't mind if I fuck you, do you?"

He's taken completely off guard but he shakes his head, "No-" he licks his lips, knowing that soon the mans tongue is going to be buried in his ass and he's right. His jeans and boxers are being yanked down to his ankles, trapping him in the position he'd been placed in- soon a soft tongue is lovingly licking into his hole. "Mmmmmugh-" he moans, cheek pressed against the cold hardwood floor.

Castiel spanks him, causing him to yelp, "You have the cutest ass baby-" the comment makes the teen blush, "Ready?" he nods, "Perfect." so he lines up his cock with the teens hole and enters slowly. 

Dean feels like there's a rabid wolf behind him, the noises the man is making are out of this world. "Fuck Cas-" he whimpers though the burning pain, knowing the good part is coming soon. 

"So good-" Castiel groans, the bottom of Dean's shirt is balled into his fist- using that as leverage as he pounds into him. "Mmm-"

Dean's cheek is pressing against harshly against the floor as he whimpers like an injured puppy. "Ugh-ugh-mm-" continues strings of adorable sounds escape his parted lips.

"So fucking cute-" Castiel spanks his ass once more, then rubs the burn away. 

"Cas-" his voice cracks, "Feels so good-" 

"Does it baby?" the teen nods, now moaning loudly like a whore. When there's a knock on the door, he instantly stops and cups his hand over Dean's mouth. "Yes!?" he calls out. No answer, whoever was at the door probably couldn't hear him so he continues pounding that sweet teenage ass until they both come. "Sorry about that-" Castiel kisses the red ass cheek before pulling out slowly and removing his hand from over Dean's mouth which he ends up wiping on his shirt since he'd slobbered all over it.

Castiel pulls up his jeans and fixes his shirt before going to the front door, leaving the teenager a mess on the floor. "Hello?" he calls out, opening the screen door and soon finding Bobby walking from around back of his property. "What are you doing here Bobby?" he gulps nervously.

"Have ya seen Dean? He's not answering his phone." Bobby takes a curious look around the outside of the home, "He's been gone for hours-"

Castiel exits the home and stands possessively in front of the screen door so Bobby won't get the idea to go inside, "He was here earlier helping me around the house but I thought he went home-"

Bobby comes closer, he's nervous. "I thought you were gay-" he whispers loudly.

"I am-" Castiel squints in confusion at the unexpected question.

Bobby laughs, "Oh boy, that was a man you were doin' it with-" apparently he thought Castiel was having sex with a woman. "I heard ya havin' sex with someone and I didn't wanna go in-" his laughing continues.

Castiel loudly clears his throat, "Yes, I like feminine men-" he gulps. "-My new _boyfriend_ is here, he's spending the night." 

Bobby shrugs, still laughing. "Alright alright, I'm off'-" he shakes his head while walking away and Castiel goes inside, cursing himself for being so stupid. 

When he enters his office, Dean wasn't there on the floor where he had left him. "Dean-" he goes searching through the house, eventually exiting through the back screen door and he sees the teenager running off to his uncles through the back yard. He's guessing Dean is going to sneak into his room and pretend he had been there all along.

Luckily Bobby walked extremely slow due to a previous knee injury while hunting in the woods and Dean had made it to the house before he did. "Boy!-" right then the teenager peeks his head out of the bathroom. "Where ya been?" he asks, plopping down on the sofa.

"I'm takin' a shower-" he says dumbly while his uncle nods carelessly so he goes back inside and actually takes a shower, he needed it anyway after sweating all day.

The next afternoon Castiel arrived at the diner before Meg did and he was grateful for that since he needed time to mentally prepare himself for the possible shit storm that would be raining down on him. He orders a coffee from Robin when he sits down at a table near the back. After a while he orders a slice of pie to kill some time since she still hadn't arrived. He'd love to see Meg once again but deep down he's hoping that her car breaks down somewhere along the way or that maybe something will happen to prevent her from showing up.

He's so focused on his pie that he almost forgot that she would be showing up at all, until the bell on the front door jingles and he looks up. _Meg._

"Hey!" Castiel smiles, waving her over even though he was extremely nervous and could feel that he was starting to sweat under his jacket. He stands up to pull out her chair so she could sit down.

"Still a gentleman-" Meg smiles, sitting down and setting her purse on top of the table and so does he, sitting down awkwardly across from her. "So-" 

"So-" he forces a smile, "How are things at the hospital?"while mentally praying that she forgot everything that happened, but he knows he's not _that_ lucky.

She orders a coffee from Robin before answering, "Not the same without you." 

Castiel nods, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously as he always did when nervous. "I'm happy here-" he admits.

"I can see that-" Meg smiles, "Your whole aura has changed."

"Listen-" he starts, leaning closer to the nurse. "I'm grateful that you didn't tell anyone about me and-"

"Dean-" she nods casually, "How do you know I didn't tell anyone?"

Castiel's taken off guard, "Well for one, Because I'm not in jail-" 

Her tone changes into a sad one, "I didn't want you to go to jail-" and shrugs. "-I was just so surprised by what I saw, I thought you were abusing him."

Castiel gets angry as he recalls the memory of her reaction, "Well I'm not abusing him-" and looks around the diner to see if anyone is watching them, no one is. "Besides, he started all this-"

Meg nods, "It's none of my business-" and sips her nearly finished coffee. "Could we stay friends?"

Castiel sighs, "I don't know-" when her eyes fill with tears he continues. "-I miss you too but things, they're different now." she nods, dabbing under her eyes with a napkin. "I still love you, you were my best friend-" his tone softens, hating to see her cry. "Maybe when Dean and I are married we could-"

Meg looks up at him in wonder, "You're getting married?" 

Castiel nods, "After his birthday, hopefully." she nods uncomfortably. "I just don't feel comfortable with anyone knowing, not yet-"

Meg smiles weakly, "I understand-" tears fading.

Castiel leans back against his chair, hands on his thighs under the table. "So, Unicorn babe-" he chuckles softly. "-what are you getting up to back home?"

Meg smiles devilishly, "Well-" she sips her coffee. "-I'm sorta dating someone new, her name is Ruby."

Castiel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Ruby? You're dating women now?" unable to wrap his mind around the idea.

"What, only you can be gay?" she laughs, crossing her legs under the table.

"Wow-" Castiel shakes his head, "Things really have changed back home." after some more chatting about _Ruby-_ he asks, "What about Chuck? is he still working at the hospital?" 

She shakes her head, "He's strictly doing home healthcare right now. Apparently he's writing a novel too-" they both laugh at that. "It's supposed to be good, two guys fighting evil forces or whatever-"

"That guy has always been creative, I'll give him that." Right then he calls Robin over for another slice of pie and when Meg looks at him suggestively- "Make that two." he holds up to fingers to the waitress. "I have to say, you look amazing-" he makes the comment once his eyes refocus on the nurse.

Meg smiles, "So do you. Handsome as ever-" they check each other out for a while. "I only went gay because you did-" Castiel licks his lips, looking away uncomfortably. "-you know, we could have been a great couple-"

"Please-" Castiel tries to stop her in her tracks. "Don't."

She leans over the table, "We had a lot of fun back in college, boy you were so wild back in the day-"

Castiel begs her with his eyes,"Why won't you let me forget that we slept together?" 

"Because it was great-" she laughs again, clearly enjoying his suffering. "- _we_ were great." after a pause, "The things you could do with that tongue of yours-" their pies come and Castiel flushes completely.

"Thank you-" he thanks Robin before she walks away and they dig into their cherry desserts. "You weren't in love with me right?" Castiel asks halfway through his pie because although they were just close friends, really close friends- he's always had some kind of hunch that she felt more for him.

She shrugs, "Of course I love you, I always will." 

"That's not what I asked-" she dodges the question. "Meg-" his voice is stern while saying her name.

"Okay!" she hisses, "I'm in love with you, always have been and always will be. Happy now?" 

Castiel smiles, "I love you too baby-" and of course, it's strictly platonic on his end. "You know, I would've married you if I didn't realize I liked dick so much-" they share a laugh and it feels like old times. _Extremely_ old times. 

"Is Dean still-" she doesn't want to be specific because she knew Dean had many issues going on. 

Castiel nods, "Yeah- but he's better." 

"Aww, that's great." 

After another twenty minutes of catching up he stands up, "Well baby-" he takes out his wallet to pay for their food and leaves a tip. "I better get going, It was nice to seeing you."

Meg stands up too, "Wait-" she follows closely behind him. "I drove four hours to get here and you're sending me away after spending only an hour and a half with me?"

Castiel looks at her once they're in the diners parking lot now and he feels guilty. "Right-" he looks around nervously. "Alright, follow me back to my place-" she hugs him before getting inside her car. He really shouldn't be bringing her home because Dean hates her guts and well, just _cause._

Meg drives behind Castiel's car, following him all the way out of town and they meet up right in front of Castiel's house almost an hour later.

"Wow, all yours?" she asks as they walk up the porch steps, side by side. 

Castiel nods before letting her into the house "Here she is, home sweet home-" and tosses the keys on the table by the door. When he turns around to face his former colleague, he sees the look on her face. "What?"

She shakes her head "I miss working with you everyday, that's all-" and wipes at her eyes. 

"Don't cry-" he pulls her in close for a hug, his hand rubs up and down her back lovingly. "You know why I had to leave-"

Meg pulls away, hugging herself "But you didn't even tell me-" and shakes her head. "I had to hear it from Chuck, a week later." now her eyes look up at him in the saddest way.

Castiel looks away in shame, "I'm sorry." 

"For what it's worth, I never planned on telling anyone- just my you know, my instincts kicked in and I wanted to help Dean, I completely misunderstood the situation-"

Castiel licks his lips before saying, "Fuck it-" and he pulls the nurse into his arms, shoving his tongue into her small mouth. "I'm sorry for being-" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead he shoves her aggressively against the wall. Before he really knows what he's doing he realizes that he's carrying her to the couch where he drops and climbs over her petite body, "Missed you-" he's kissing down her sweet smelling neck. 

"Cas-" she whimpers, her nails clawing up his back. "Are you sure you want to-"

"Mhm-" he mumbles against her skin, his hands groping her breasts- one in each hand. 

"Forgot what an animal you were-" she moans right before Castiel pulls off her top and tears her bra in half to expose her breasts. "Oh my God-" her mouth gapes open, "You're so strong-" it turned her on more. Meg's fingers fumble to unbutton her jeans while Castiel works on his.

Castiel pulls off his shirt, pants next before he's working on pulling off hers completely off her body. 

"I see you're still in shape-" her fingers run down his nicely sculpted body. "Fuck me-" 

Castiel nods, his cock in his hand and he's guiding himself closer and closer to her pussy but he's starting to think clearly now. "Meg-"

"What?" she props herself up on her elbows. "You don't want to? It's okay if you don't-"

"I want to, believe me-" his eyes are focused on the wetness between her legs. "God, I want to-" he leans down and begins generously lapping at her with his tongue. "Mmm-"

"Oh my-" her eyes roll back in her head before her head hits the couch pillow behind her. "Oh my God you do it so good-"

"Hmm-" Castiel hums against her warmth, two of his fingers make their way inside now. "Fuck-" it turns him on, he hadn't been with a woman in years. 

"Fuck me, fuck me right now-" Meg pushes his hand away and reaches for him, she scoots down on the couch so it's easier for Castiel to slide in. "Hurry-" she pants, he nods and quickly pushes inside- they both moan loudly. 

"Fuuuck-" Castiel growls, instantly picking up a menacing pace. It felt so warm and wet inside of her body, he'd forgotten what it used to feel like. 

"Mmm-" she moans, biting her lip. Meg's eyes are looking up at him, she doesn't dare to blink. "So fucking good-so fucking good-" 

Castiel's eyes are looking down into hers as he pounds into her, "I remember we used to do it just like this back in college-" he pants heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead already. 

"Mmmmmm-" she moans again before beginning to pant louder and louder.

"You close?" he asks, filled with pride. He'd come to know what Meg Masters wasn't like one of those women who took forever to orgasm.

"Mmmmhmm-" she nods, shutting her eyes before she starts to tremble with her orgasm. 

"Fuck-" Castiel keeps pumping into her until she's completely spent and pulls out before he comes on her thigh. "Ohh shit-" he sighs heavily and takes a moment to calm down before standing up, blinking the stars away from his eyes. "Shit-" he picks up his pants and quickly pulls them on. He was only human, and he'd like to think of himself as a good one at that so the guilt was setting in almost instantly.

"Cas?" She sits up, completely nude. "What's wrong?"

He glares at her, nostrils flaring.

"Right-" She gets up, picking up her clothes off the floor.

"Wait-" he pulls on her arm, "Stay the night? I don't want you driving back in the dark-" Meg nods and Castiel helps her into the shower. 

While she's showering, Castiel grabs an old pair of basketball shorts he hasn't worn in forever in hopes that they will fit her somewhat and an old shirt of his from when he was in college and two sizes smaller. He leaves them on the bathroom counter top for her and goes to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 

"It smells good in here-" she says shyly, drying off her hair with a towel once she emerges from the bathroom. 

"So they fit-" he smiles shyly himself.

The nurse looks down at her mismatched outfit "Yeah kinda-" and sits down at the table, her wet hair dripping onto her shoulders. As Castiel cooks she mentions, "What was the campus thinking, putting a boy and a girl together in a dorm-"

He chuckles, "If I hadn't had you as a roommate I think I'd probably still be a virgin-"

"Likewise, Clarence." she smiles, digging into the salad he'd made for the both of them. "You used to cook for me a lot then too-"

"I remember-" he takes a large gulp of his wine as soon as he takes his seat at the table. "We had plenty of good times." 

Meg agrees, "Thank you for dinner, looks good." 

"You're welcome." he says softly now, the rest of their meal is eaten in silence.

After dinner they're on the couch watching some television when Castiel says, "I'm not leaving Dean-" and gestures between them. "-this was just-"

She places her hand on his thigh, his eyes follow the movement. "Relax, I'm not here to break you guys up-" he nods and she removes her hand. "You kissed me-"

"I know-" he leans back, hands on his thighs casually because he doesn't know where else to put them. "-you just brought up our old college days and-and not seeing you for so long-" he shrugs. "Guess it brought back some old feelings."

Meg doesn't look hopeful at all, she knows they are only best friends. "I know, I had only been teasing at the diner-"

"You're on birth control right?" his tone is serious, very clinical.

"Eww!" she squeals, "I didn't come to hang out with doctor Cas!" when he glares at her she stops her joking, "Yes." she replies finally. "I'm still on birth control."

"Good-" he relaxes and warns her, "-and this can't happen again."

"Of course. I wasn't expecting this to happen either-" she laughs softly. "-college was forever ago."

Castiel nods while his eyes bore into hers, "Dean can't know about this." his tone is almost frightening.

"I know." she looks around, "Speaking of Dean, where is he?"

"Shit, that's right. You don't know." Castiel sighs, running a hand down his face. "He's living next door with his uncle."

"How's that work?" Meg faces him, pulling up her legs under the large shirt- just like _Dean_ used to do as a child.

Castiel catches the movement, he laughs and turns to face her as well. "Dean used to do that-" she's confused until he gestures to her legs being hidden under the shirt. 

"You really love him, don't you?" she smiles warmly in the soft glow of the only light source in the living room that came from a lamp.

Castiel nods, looking down at his hands. "Yeah, very much. I didn't mean to cheat on-"

"I know sweetie-" when the doctor begins to cry, she pulls him close and holds him through it. "I'm sorry too-"

Eventually Castiel escorts her to one of his empty bedrooms and leaves a couple of thick blankets on the bed since it was starting to get cold in the house. "Sleep well-" he smiles at her, running a hand through her hair for just a second before he leaves the room. Once he's gotten a shower of his own and laying in bed, he calls Dean. "Hey baby-"

"Hey, where you been?" Dean yawns into the phone. 

"Around-" he smiles sadly. "You?"

"Robin needed my help at the diner last minute-" 

Castiel sits up in bed, "You were there today?" and gulps.

"Yea-" he yawns again. "I was in the kitchen the whole time, cook called out-"

Castiel lays back in bed, "You do make the best burgers-"

"Listen Cas, as much as I wanna talk to ya- I'm beat." 

"Right, of course. I love you baby-" Dean says it back, "Bye." 

So Dean had been at the diner today though luckily for him he hadn't seen him talking with Meg, but Robin had and he's wondering why she hadn't told him anything. He's almost fallen asleep when his door creaks open and he snaps out of his near sleep state, "Yeah?" his voice is hoarse.

"It's really cold-" she's hugging herself by the open door so he waves her over and she climbs into bed with him. "This house doesn't have heat does it-"

"No, I'm sorry. Old house, you know-" he lays behind her, an arm wrapped around her small frame to keep her warm underneath the covers. All he can think of is what would Dean's reaction be if he saw them like this. It's not bad enough he had sex with her but now he's cuddling with the unofficial homewrecker. Dean would burst into flames from the anger alone and that thought only serves him as fuel to his already rising guilt.

"This okay?" the nurse looks over her shoulder at him, who nods before closing his eyes in order to fall asleep and hopefully forget everything.

In the morning his phone's alarm is waking him up for work, "Shit-" Castiel quickly rolls off the bed and begins to dress in his scrubs. Meg rolls over and watches him dress with a smile on her face. "What!" he hisses at her in frustration because of what happened yesterday and knowing he's going to be late.

"Just like old times-" 

"This won't happen again-" he shoves his feet into his comfortable work sneakers. "Make yourself something to eat before you go-" she nods, closing her eyes to fall asleep once more.

Castiel rushes out the door and down the porch steps, into his car. Luckily making tt to the hospital in time and when he arrives at the nurses station he's almost expecting Meg to be there waiting for him at a computer, with a coffee and a witty remark. Though he shakes his head to get rid of that thought and picks up his charts for the day. "Fuck me-" he mumbles under his breath as he scurries off to one of the operating rooms for his first patient of the day.

Dean's walking up the porch steps of Castiel's home and lets himself in with the key was given. Though he did notice the car parked out front but assumed it might be a rental or something. "You get a new car-" he says when he walks into the kitchen, to find Meg sitting there eating toast in one of Castiel's shirts and nothing else. "You!" he yells, pointing at her in anger.

"Hi-" she drops the toast on the plate, clearly not expecting him.

"The fuck you doin' here!" he roars, "Where the fuck is he!" and stomps around the house looking for him. "Cas!"

"He went to work-" she pads through the home, following him into every room.

Dean turns around, he's much taller than her and it causes her to back up in fear. "Why are you here-" his nostrils flare in anger. "Answer me bitch!"

She takes another few steps back, "I came to visit him, h-he said it was okay." 

Dean steps closer to her, sniffing her like a dog. "Why do you smell like him?" he says coldly in her face. "Answer me!"

"I spent the night!" she yelps, "I took a shower in the bathroom-"

Dean snorts in anger and pulls out his phone "I'm callin' Cas-" but of course, no answer. "Friggin' asshole-" he corners her against the wall, "Listen bitch, get your things and go-" he points to the door. "Now!"

The nurse nods and quickly changes into her own clothes, leaving Castiel's on the floor by his bed. "I'm leaving-" she pulls her purse over her shoulder and walks out the door, down the porch steps. She stops and turns around to look at the teenager who had been following her the whole time, "You look good by the way, much better-" and he sighs heavily, clearly very annoyed with her and not hiding it-still having no idea they had sex. "Why do you hate me?" 

Dean snorts again, "Really lady?" and goes halfway down the porch steps. "I have an eating disorder because of you!" she steps back further. "You called me big!"

"I meant you were getting big as in, growing up-" and she smiles at him carefully. "You probably misunderstood me, you were thirteen the last time I had seen you before-"

The teenager nods with his hands in his jeans pockets. "Whatever, you threatened to call the cops on Cas. On Cas for fucks sake! The guy is practically a friggin' saint!"

"I was wrong, and I'm sorry." 

Those were the last worst Meg said before climbing into her car and Dean just watches her drive off down the dirt road until the car disappears. Once he can no longer see her vehicle, he goes inside to wait for Castiel to come home from work and he is by no means going to do any _work_ while he waits. He will not be doing dishes, nor laundry and he certainly isn't going to take out the trash. 

All he wants is answers, why was _she_ there, in _his_ clothes. Of course, Dean Winchester is smarter than people think and he's got an idea of what happened between them but he's hoping to the heavens that it's not true. 

Dean's counting on his anxiety to be the blame for his suspicions.


	56. Your Mess Is Mine

When Castiel drives up to the house he's extremely pleased to see his love sitting down on the porch steps waiting for him. After a long day at the hospital, this is what he needs, _Dean._

"Aww, you're waiting for me-" he coos lovingly as he steps out of the car and pulls his bag from the back seat, tossing it over his right shoulder. He walks up the steps and when the teenager doesn't make a move to follow him inside he looks over his shoulder in curiosity, "Something wrong?" 

Dean shakes his head, he'd had the entire day to think about Meg. "You mean to tell me that bitch-" he shakes his head again. "-you slept with her, didn't you?" 

Castiel's heart instantly drops into his stomach and he wants to go to the bathroom badly out of nerves, but he holds it. "What-"

Dean turns around enough so they can look at each other, "You fucked her, right?" he says it like he already knows. "Just tell me-" his voice has no emotion behind it. Castiel looks away, not wanting to answer. And Dean knows the man all too well so he says, "Cas, just go to the friggin' bathroom-" 

"Sorry, I'll be right back-" he drops his bag on the porch and runs inside. This always happened to him whenever he was extremely nervous, luckily he didn't find himself this anxious often or else this issue would become of a problem. When he's done in the bathroom he finds the teen on the couch and his bag by the coffee table on the floor. He sits down next to him. "I can explain-"

Dean looks at him, "Just tell me you had sex with her-" and he wants an admission. A confession that he did. Castiel hesitates for a while before nodding in agreement. "Hm-" he bites his lip in heartbreak, his eyes water almost instantly.

"Dean-" Castiel places his hand on the teens thigh while Dean looks down at it in disgust so he removes it right away. "Please-" he's an adult, in control of his emotions so he doesn't become a crying mess like the teen always seemed to in times of emotional pain. Instead, he lets him process it.

Dean's wringing his hands anxiously, not speaking. Castiel doesn't try to apologize or say anything, not yet. If he apologized, Dean wouldn't hear it anyway. Not now, not yet. They're silent for what seems like minutes until Dean says, "I want to break up-" 

Castiel's looks at him, "You're not serious-" Dean runs a hand down his face in agony, surprisingly no tears fall. "-you're serious." He nods. " _Dean-"_ his voice cracks. "Please-"

"Nah, Cas-" he shakes his head, looking at him "Not this time-" and pats the older mans thigh before getting up and walking out of the house without saying anything else.

Castiel doesn't follow him because he's probably in shock and needs time to process what happened. When he gets the chance to explain, he'll tell Dean everything that happened in his past, with Meg. He'll finally tell him _everything,_ he's old enough to know the truth about who he was.

When he gets home, Dean locks himself in his room and fully expecting himself to cry but he doesn't. Instead he calls his therapist, asking for an appointment as soon as possible. After hanging up, he throws himself on his bed and looks up at the ceiling. It only took five minutes of numbness, of being alone in his room to finally start crying and he does, he cries until his uncle calls him for dinner. "Coming!" he yells as casually as he can manage so that he doesn't make him worry, wiping his eyes on the end of his shirt.

"Hope you're hungry-" Bobby beams up at him, the look on the teenagers face has his own smile falling. "Boy, what happened to you?"

Dean fakes a smile and sits down at the table, already reaching for the mashed potatoes so he can serve himself. "Nothin' Bobby, just didn't feel well-" he hates telling lies, but it's for his own good.

Bobby sits down too, "You better eat up-" Dean passes him the potatoes and he serves himself. "If you don't feel good tomorrow, I'll take ya to the doctor-" 

Dean smiles, "Thanks Bobby-" and digs into the food that was made with care. "This chicken is great-" he mentions after taking a few bites.

Castiel was walking up the porch steps and is about to knock on the door when he sees the view from the window, Dean and his uncle having a good time over dinner. He looks happy and is laughing. Castiel can't help but smile at the heartwarming picture before he changes his mind and decides to just go back home. He had come over to apologize and check on how Dean was doing but he looked happy enough without him from the looks of it. 

What he didn't know was that the teenager was completely heartbroken on the inside, crushed even.

All he could think about was how maybe he'd be better off if they weren't together. Dean could have a normal life, find someone his age. He loved him enough to let him have that, if that's what he wanted and wouldn't stand in the way. Dean's happiness is the most important thing and maybe he isn't it after all. These thoughts consume Castiel the entire night so he hadn't been in the mood to eat dinner himself. Instead he had a drink. Just _one_ drink, no harm done.

After dinner Dean goes to the bathroom, locking the door. Once his teeth are brushed for the night, he catches a glimpse of his uncles razor and the pack of blades next to it. He thinks about it for a full minute before pulling one out of the tiny box before sitting down on the bathroom floor. Dean's leaning back against the tub before lifting the sleeve of his flannel so he could do it. _Again.._

"Agh-agh-" he winces, dragging the sharp blade across his skin. "Fuck-" and accidentally cut himself deeper than he meant to- blood pools around the blade and dribbles down his pale arm. Dean quickly scrambles to grab the bathroom towel to press against the fresh cut and after a minute or two he lifts the towel to see the damage, it was still bleeding so he starts crying again, mostly out of anger over what Castiel did. _Why her.._

Maybe some part of him could understand the infidelity, he himself has cheated on Castiel by sneaking a few kisses here and there. Everyone is human after all so he can understand, he could get why someone could do this. Heat of the moment, it happens- sure, but it happened with _her._ That's something that hurts worse than anything he could imagine.

When he dresses for bed he has to wear a long sleeved shirt so Bobby won't accidentally see something that he shouldn't see. Some of his long sleeved shirts have holes at the wrist so he can poke his finger through it to keep it from riding up and exposing his secrets.

By morning, Castiel checks his phone in a hurry- almost as soon as he had opened his eyes. _Nothing,_ no missed call or unread text messages from Dean. There was a message but it was from meg. 

_Sorry for coming._

Castiel sighs, erasing the text instantly, not wanting a reminder of what happened. He almost doesn't believe he slept with the woman after all these years. Sadly, today he's got the day off and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's hungry after skipping dinner last night so he's in the kitchen making eggs and bacon when Dean lets himself in. His heart flutters hopefully. "Dean-" he smiles.

Dean shrugs, "Anythin' you want me to do?" Castiel is confused so he explains. "Remember, you're paying me to do stuff around the house?" he rolls his eyes annoyingly. 

Castiel turns around to keep scrambling in the eggs in the pan, "I don't have anything for you today-" blinking away the tears in his eyes. 

Dean sighs heavily, scratching the back of his head. "You really got nothin' for me to do?" 

"You can take out the trash-" he turns around. "-if it's not beneath you, that is." 

The unhappy teenager rolls his eyes again, "It's not-" before he starts stomping to the bathroom to grab the trash in there first, "-cash is cash right-" after that he goes to the kitchen and grabs that trash bag too, "Nothin' else?" 

"Dishes?" his eyes glance over to the nearly full sink.

Dean nods, carrying the bags out to the blue garbage bin outside. When he returns, he's sitting down eating breakfast. They make eye contact, "I'll just get started-" 

"Sure-" Castiel says softly, eating his breakfast in silence while his eyes occasionally glance up at the back of the teenagers head as he washes the dishes by hand. Sometimes his eyes droop down to take a look at his plump ass in those jeans but he quickly shakes his head since he clearly doesn't deserve that ass at all.

Sure, Dean has kissed a few people while they've been together, but the boy has issues- he's needy, he wants love- and he's so young, he can't help it if he makes mistakes out of pure curiosity. But him, he's an adult and has no excuse. He made a huge, terrible mistake that he might not be able to correct. For now, all he can do is let Dean know he's still there and that he loves him, if he's ever ready to try again. 

"Done-" Dean says suddenly, wiping his hands on a dish towel- it snapped him out of deep thoughts. "So, anything else?" 

Castiel thinks a moment before saying, "Yes- would you mind sweeping around the house?" Dean shakes his head, "Broom is right there in the closet-" he points his mug towards the small closet in the kitchen by the stove. Dean grabs it and gets to work sweeping the kitchen first, then moves it along to the living room, etc. 

Once he's done with his coffee, he moves himself to the couch in the living room with his laptop. Suddenly Dean appears once again, asking what comes next. "Um-" he pushes his glasses up his nose. "I needed to go grocery shopping, I don't know if you'd want to make the trip for me-"

He shrugs, "I guess I could-"

"On second thought-" Castiel sighs, "You don't have a license. The drive into town is pretty far, don't want you getting a ticket-"

Dean sighs, "Alright, whatever-" and shrugs dumbly. "So, am I done here?" Castiel nods and he's making his way out before he stops the boy. "What now-" his voice is full of impatience.

"I'm just going to pay you-" he quickly takes out his wallet and pulls out a few hundred dollar bills. "Four hundred."

"For a day's work?" he's cautious but takes it anyway, pocketing the cash in his jeans. "Bye?" he says and the man nods so he basically skips down the porch steps and runs off with his pocket full of cash. Castiel falls on the couch, cursing himself for cheating because he was smarter than that. _Wasn't he?_ This wasn't like him at all.

After a short nap he gets up to go to his bedroom to get himself dressed for a trip into town. The bottle of antidepressants on the nightstand catches his eye, he'd been taking them- maybe this was causing his sudden lapse in judgement. Though he knew it wasn't likely, he's just looking for any excuse for his stupidity but tosses them in the wastebasket anyway.

While he's in town, he picks up all his essentials for the week. Groceries, toiletries- that sort of thing. Also making sure to get Dean a few things for school- some pens, journals and a binder. His Automotive Technology program was starting in a few weeks, if he remembered correctly. Before heading home he stops by Starbucks to pick up his usual iced coffee because he hadn't had one since moving all the way to east nowhere. 

Castiel's pulling up to his house when he sees the teenager sitting on his porch steps. _This can't be good._ He gets out of the car and casually carries everything inside, until the teen finally joins him inside.

"So, we break up and you're goin' shopping and on a coffee run." green eyes judge the shopping bags and the coffee. "You're a friggin' jerk." his tone has a sharp bite to it.

"Dean-" he comes closer, "-I'm sorry about what-" Dean's not listening. "Would you feel better if you punched me? I know how much you like doing that-"

"Don't tempt me, asshole." Dean spits out, looking away in anger. He was happy when he left and had four hundred in his pocket, but when he saw his car driving away because he was going into town to shop, he got pissed. Castiel wasn't allowed to enjoy himself, not after what he did with that witch of a bitch, Meg. 

"Come on, hit me-" Castiel begs, closing his eyes. 

"You said If I punched you, you'd leave me." he states the facts, Castiel had said that. 

"Well you already left _me,_ so go for it-" 

"It's not worth it." Dean shrugs, Castiel's heart does that sinking thing that makes him have to go to the bathroom once again but he doesn't dare go. "Therapy is actually working-" he shrugs again with a broken smile. "For the first time, I'm seeing things clearly and I don't need to hit you for what you did." the words surprise them both. The old Dean Winchester would have beat him up by now, or try to do so at least. 

"You're growing up-" Castiel reaches reaches for the bag containing his school supplies and hands it out for him to take. "Here, got you these for school." it's better to send him on his way as fast as possible because he can feel the water works coming and they're coming soon.

Dean takes the bag, peeking inside and smiles. "Well, I'll get use outta these soon right-"

"You're going to forgive me someday, aren't you?" He swallows over the knot in his throat. "I mean, we're not over are we- as in, permanently?"

Dean shrugs, "Dunno, gotta talk to my therapist first-"

"She knows-" Castiel sighs into the silence of the home.

"More or less, yea-"

"Tell me it's less-" Castiel looks to be internally suffering.

The teen quickly nods, "Less, definitely. I-" he hesitates. "I respect what we have together, I'm not just gonna tell all our secrets to some lady-"

That surprises Castiel, "Thank you." There's nothing else to say so- "Stay for dinner?" the invite comes out of nowhere. Despite the oncoming tears, he wants him to stay.

"Nah-" Dean pats him on the shoulder. "I need time-" he nods, they both understand what it means. "-give me space, yea?"

Castiel forces a smile though he just wants to cry right now. "Go on-" he gestures next door, "Get going." and the teenager is off, down the porch steps and sprinting next _door._

They don't speak for a few days, not that Castiel had much time to talk anyway because work was hectic as usual. Throughout the week, Meg's texts were going unanswered and her calls were being screened. He knows she's not some homewrecker, at least not on purpose- he knows he started it the day they had sex by kissing her first. It's his own fault, not hers- but still, he doesn't want to speak to her. Maybe someday, but not today and definitely not tomorrow.

On Sunday, Dean finally calls him and he quickly picks up the phone while having breakfast. "Dean-" his tone of voice is overly loving because he's unable to keep it casual.

"Cas!" Dean barks into the phone. "Bobby's drivin' me to Sunday school so I'm not gonna need a ride this morning-"

His heart does that thing again and his stomach hurts. "Are you sure? Because it's no bother-" he's desperate to spend time with him, now more than ever because he feels Dean's love slipping between his fingers.

"We're almost at the church-" he hears the teen fighting with his uncle momentarily about something before the line goes dead.

Castiel gets himself dressed as quick as he can manage before speeding down to the church because he's going to mass and no one can stop him. It's a free country after all, if he happens to catch a glimpse of Dean or run into him, that's the universe doing its thing. 

He manages to sit through the last ten minutes of mass, though his eyes aren't on the pastor- they're searching for Bobby in the crowd, but he fails to spot him. After mass he goes to find Dean at his class and Claire happens to walk by him though he doesn't notice her this time around. His eye's are focused on trying to locate a certain someone so everyone else is passing by him in a blur.

"You stalkin' me now?" Dean says, Castiel turns around to find him in the hallway instead of his classroom. He wasn't alone, he was with a boy the same age. Dean sees him staring at his friend so he introduces him, "This is Kevin, my friend."

Castiel shakes his hand firmly, "Castiel."

Kevin smiles awkwardly because the energy feels weird and stuffy between the three of them. "I'll see you outside-" Dean says before going inside the classroom once again. 

Castiel goes to wait for him by the car for a good while before Dean finally exits the Gothic looking church, sprinting up to him. "Cant go with you, Bobby-" green eyes look over at his uncle and his truck, waiting for him further down the parking lot.

Castiel licks his lips, nodding- all he wants to do is kiss him. So bad.

"If you got nothin' to say-" he looks over at his uncle waiting impatiently by his truck. 

"Sorry-" Castiel blinks away the tears, he wants to give the teen a hug at least but he knows it won't be received well. "Sorry-"

Dean steps closer, seeing the pain in his eyes. "Are you sorry?" Castiel nods and Bobby honks, now waiting inside his truck for him. "Gotta go, bye-" now running across the parking lot.

That night he stops by with a pizza, "Hello-" he calls out before entering through the screen door. 

"In here-" Bobby calls to him from the living room. "That pizza for me? He smiles, waving him over to the couch.

"Dean around? Castiel's asking but fully expecting him to he home since the teen never really goes anywhere.

Bobby grabs a slice from the open box, "He took Robin out for a movie with the cash you gave em'-" 

That makes him feel worse because he seems to be doing better now that they are taking a break, "Good for him-" he lies. Of course he's happy that Dean's out of the house with a friend but he can't help the pang of jealousy that stabs him in the heart. 

They eat and chatt among themselves while watching television until the screen door opens and slams. Dean walks into the living room, shrugging off his black denim jacket. "What's he doin' here?" He asks his uncle. _Ouch.._

"He brought us pizza, sit down and eat-"

Dean looks at the pizza, then at Castiel. "Already ate-" he clears his throat. "I'm goin' to bed, night guys.' and disappears down the hall.

Castiel doesn't like this one bit because he's feeling like Dean's forgetting all about him. "Bathroom-" he gets up and disappears down the hall as well. He knocks gently on teens door, "Dean-" and peeks inside to see him laying in bed with his eyes closed.

The door creaks and Dean's eyes fly open, "What are you doin'-" he yawns, one hand on his stomach, the other behind his head on the pillow.

Castiel comes into the room, closing the door behind him. "I miss you-"

Dean nods, yawning again. Castiel comes closer and sits on the bed and Dean has his eyes fixed on him the whole time. When he leans down to kiss him he looks away and the man ends up kissing his cheek.

"Guess I deserved that, I'll just go-" he stands up.

"You deserve a lot worse-" Dean says before closing his eyes again in hope's of falling asleep. The sudden urge to pee has him getting out of bed and his path is blocked. "Move it, gotta pee-"

Castiel thinks about forcing himself on the teen but he's really not that kind of guy so he steps aside, unblocking the teens path of the door.

"Jeez, Cas-" he rushes to the bathroom, hand on his crotch.

Castiel rejoins Bobby on the couch right then and the bearded man asks him, "You okay? Boy told me you had the runs-" 

He scrunches up his nose, "He tells you everything, doesn't he-"

"Pretty much-" Bobby nods, leaning back against the couch comfortably now that his belly is full of gooey pizza. "Before you two moved here, we used to talk on the phone all the time. At least every other day-" Castiel nods, "He'd tell me about his dad, and his friends at school. He'd talk about you too-"

It peeks his interest, "What would he tell you about me?" and reaches for a slice of pizza.

Bobby shrugs, "The stuff you'd get him for school. Sometimes he'd talk to me about how good you were to him-" he notices that the other man is wiping his eyes. "Wut, I'm not tellin' ya this to make you cry, stop that-" he chuckles.

Castiel nods, wiping his eyes. Dean walks in right then and steals a slice of pizza before going back to his room. 

"Boy's growin' up-" Bobby mentions casually before letting out a loud yawn, "-can barely keep track of his moods, but he's doin' better-" he nods to himself while thinking of his nephew. "Glad you're both here-" he wraps an arm around Castiel and pulls him close in a friendly embrace, "I was pretty lonely before ya got here and now I have a friend and I have my boy with me-"

"We're really friends Bobby?" Castiel asks, looking down at the bearded man who nods. "Happy to be here-" his eyes begin to water.

"Stop that shit, idiot-" he shoves Castiel away playfully. "No need for cryin' when life is good." 

"Yeah, you're right-" Castiel wipes his eyes once again and suddenly his phone pings so he reaches into his pants pocket to fish it out. It was a text from Dean, telling him to meet him out back in the woods when he leaves because he would be waiting there for him. He's filled with hope instantly, not that he really believed they were over but he does want the chance to make things better, to somehow make it up to him. "I better get going-" he stands up, pushing his phone back into his pocket.

"Everything alright?" Bobby asks, looking up at him.

Castiel nods, "Of course." and he's almost out of the house before he comes back to say "Thanks for listening to me, Bobby- you're a good man."

Bobby chuckles, "Don't I know it-" before wiggling his thick fingers at the other man in some sort of goodbye wave. "Have a good night."

"You too." Castiel smiles before exiting through the screen door.

Once outside, he takes a few seconds to make sure Bobby doesn't get up from the couch before sneaking around to the back of the house and sprints towards the woods. As soon as he nears the treeline he slows down, catching his breath before entering and making his way carefully between the trees. It's dark and he can't see so he pulls out his phone and uses the flashlight to light his way through. When a twig snaps to his right in the distance he follows the noise, knowing it must be Dean and he was right.

He finds the teenager sitting on the only large rock that was in the middle of a clearing, "Hey-" he whispers loudly. 

Dean looks up, he'd been playing with a couple twigs- snapping and throwing them everywhere. "Hey-" he says somberly. Castiel walks up to him, not knowing if he should sit down on the rock, it was big enough for two. "Go ahead-" he gestures to the empty space beside him. 

"Why did you want to see me here-" Castiel takes a seat on the rock and runs his hands up and down his biceps because the September air was quite cold late at night.

Dean shrugs, tossing the last twig that was in his hand. "How could you fuck _her?_ " his voice cracks. "You know I hate her-"

Castiel nods, looking up at the moon above them. "I know-" he shrugs. "-we have a lot of history together, but I know it's not an excuse."

"What history?" Dean looks over at the older man, "You went to college together and worked in the same hospital-"

"We used to sleep together-" Castiel admits, looking over at the teen for his reaction- but there was no reaction. 

Dean laughs softly in miserly, "Wow-" blinking away the shock. "I know you used to fuck chicks but her- God, I hate her." 

"Dean-" Castiel turns his body so he can face the teenager a bit more, "-we were roommates back in college. We were all very wild back then-"

Dean snorts, "So what-" he stands up and begins pacing, biting the skin on the edge of his thumb. "You gonna be with her then? Are you straight now? Is that what you're fuckin' tellin' me-"

Castiel stands up too, "Of course not!" he hisses desperately, "I want to be with you-" Dean laughs miserably once more. "I made a mistake-" he says that, very aware that he sounds like a complete and total cliche. 

"Maybe if you just kissed her, I could forgive you but you had to friggin' fuck her! Cas, for fucks sake-" he groans in despair, "Your dick probably has female gunk all over it now- Ugh!" he kicks at an old tree stump with his boot in anger. "This is fuckin' bullshit-" 

"Okay-" Castiel turns around so he can't see him and blinks away the tears in his eyes. "Okay-"

"Stop saying okay!" Dean yells before pulling him by the jacket in order to get him to turn around. Once they are face to face Dean starts shoving the older man back until he falls to the ground on a pile of twigs and dry leaves, he straddles the older man who betrayed him- hands gripping the collar of his jacket. "Fuck you-" he says weakly. 

"Do it-" Castiel begs for the punch that he assumes is going to come. "Hit me-" but it doesn't. 

Dean shakes him a few times before he starts crying and gets up- already making his way through the woods. 

"Dean!" he hisses, once he's caught up to the boy he pulls him back and holds onto him. "I'm so sorry for what I did-"

The teenager wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his jean jacket, "Yea, not as sorry as I am. For ever fallin' in love with an ass like you-" and sniffles. 

"Look at me-" Dean refuses. "Baby, please look at me-" When he finally does, Castiel runs his thumb over his pink bottom lip. "I'm sorry, you have to know that-"

Dean nods, closing his eyes- they kiss once, twice, three times and he pulls away. "Doesn't feel right-" he shakes his head. "I know her tongues been in your mouth-"

Castiel looks down at the ground, nodding- worrying his bottom lip between his teeth anxiously. "So we're over-" his eyes look up to meet green. "-for good?"

Dean shakes his head, "I love _you-"_ he swallows over the knot in his throat. "-but I'm gonna need time." they begin making their way out of the woods until he suddenly stops, looking over his shoulder, "Make sure you go to the doctor and get yourself checked out, dunno what that bitch has-" Castiel nods in agreement and shame. "If you come back clean, then we'll talk-" 

When they get to the treeline Dean makes the comment, "And that bitch better not end up pregnant-" before they part ways. 

Two days later, Dean finally comes over to _work._ "Got anything for me today?" he asks as soon as he comes in through the screen door. 

Castiel looks up, through his glasses at the teenager. He looked extra cute today in jeans and a grey shirt that hugged his body the right way. His blue eyes quickly scan the boy before him up and down in a nano second. Resisting the urge to fuck him right then and there but he stands up instead, "Yeah, follow me-"

Dean nods, following him to his office. "What am I gonna do in here?" 

Castiel closes the door behind him and leans against it, somewhat trapping the boy there. "Would you mind putting all those books on that shelf?" the teenager looks over at a few boxes in the corner of the room, nodding. "You might need to dust the shelf off first-" he nods again and Castiel takes a seat at his desk.

Dean's on his knees, cutting open the boxes with his pocket knife. "You're gonna stay in here?" Castiel hums, _Mmhm._ "Oh-kay-" and continues cutting the boxes up and starts collecting all the books from inside. "God, what a nerd-"

Castiel smiles, typing away on his laptop and Dean eventually gets up from the floor to dust the bookshelf with a duster that he'd gotten from the kitchen closet and he actually liked the task. When he's done he begins arranging the many books, not alphabetically of course. Dean humming away to Metallica softly before he's told to be quiet. "Yes sir-" and sighs sarcastically under his breath.

"What was that?" Castiel looks over at him.

"I said sure-" he smiles before placing the last book on the lowest shelf. Castiel looks over, watching him crouch down and enjoys the view of his jean covered ass. Of course he quickly looks away when Dean straightens up. "Anything else?"

Castiel looks around the room, not finding anything- he's got to think of something fast if he wants to keep the teen in the house a bit longer. "Mind sweeping the leaves off the porch?" 

Dean sighs, "Sure-" and goes to grab the broom broom from the kitchen closet before going out to the porch. He's singing softly to himself as he sweeps all the leaves down the porch, instead of picking them up and tossing them into a garbage bag. _Why bother._ The wind blows them right back up onto the porch. "Damn it-" so now he sweeps them off the steps and halfway across the front yard. 

"Put them into garbage bags-" Castiel calls from behind the screen door. 

"Quit watchin' me you friggin' perv-" Dean grumbles with a smile that couldn't be seen since he was facing away, sweeping. Castiel comes out with a garbage bag and gloves for him to wear. "Really-" he rolls his eyes and puts on the gloves so he can scoop them all up and toss them. "Anything else?" he takes the large bag out to the blue garbage bin by the wooden fence. 

Castiel watches him as he thinks of something but fails so he sighs miserably, "You can go home how-" he starts making his way into the house, surprisingly Dean follows him. "What is it?" he looks over his shoulder. The teen extends his hand out for his payment, "Right-" they go inside together and Castiel goes to his office where he had left his wallet. As he fishes around in it for the cash, they hear rain hitting the roof. 

Dean takes the cash and counts it, "Five hundred?" Castiel nods, saying that he earned it. "Thanks-" he pockets the cash and goes to the front door, "No no no!" he yells.

"It's raining pretty hard-" he joins the teen by the door.

"No shit Sherlock-" Dean kicks at the screen door before plopping down the couch in the living room. "Now I gotta fuckin' wait for it to stop-" Castiel knew this was an excuse to stay because there was an umbrella in the kitchen closet he must have seen plenty of times by now and could easily take it with him. 

Castiel smiles secretly before asking, "How about lunch?" Dean nods, waving him off. He's in the middle of making sandwiches when Dean comes into the kitchen. "Yes?" he looks over his shoulder. Suddenly the teenager hugs him from behind, inhaling deeply- almost moaning against him. "Dean-" he's breathless already, his eyes close at the feel of his body against him.

"I wanna have sex-" Dean states. 

Castiel turns around, "Dean-" and licks his lip, looking down into green eyes. "-does this mean we're getting back together already?"

"Not yet-" Dean palms the bulge in his jeans, "-but I'm horny, so-" his fingers quickly work on unbuttoning his jeans. Castiel reaches for a kiss but it's rejected, "No kissing-" 

Castiel groans in agony, letting the teen lead and soon his fingers are working on his jeans, pushing them down to his knees along with his briefs. "Dean-"

"No talking-" Dean orders softly, "Just fuck me-" and pulls out a condom from his pocket. "Put this on-" Castiel nods, knowing why he's being told to wear a condom now. 

Castiel rolls the condom on, "Where?" he looks around. Dean goes to the couch and he hesitates, shaking his head. "Not there-"

Dean looks up at him suspiciously, knowing now this is where he must have fucked her. "You're unbelievable-" and walks down the hall to the bedroom and Castiel follows. Once the door closes he pulls the teen up against his body.

Dean looks up at him and gulps, "We gonna fuck or-" he's thrown the bed. "Careful, asshole-" Castiel's pulls the shirt off his body, kissing his neck and down his chest. "Ugh-" he moans loudly into the silence, "Mmm-"

Castiel yanks the teens jeans all the way down to his ankles and tosses them aside before sucking down his cock. "Mmm-"

"Ugh-" he cries out weakly, "Shit-" Dean raises his legs and plants his feet on the bed, keeping his legs wide open. "Hmm-" he whines loudly. It doesn't take long before Dean comes into the older mans mouth. "Fuck-" he wipes his teary eyes.

"What's wrong-" Castiel climbs over him on the bed, peppering kisses on his face. "I love you, I love you so much-"

Dean closes his eyes and shudders. "Stop-" he begs and Castiel listens, now sitting up next to him. "I want to-" Dean looks over at him, "-but I just can't stop picturing you with _her."_

Castiel nods, "I understand- he gets up and gets dressed because he knows they won't be fucking. Dean gets up as well to pull on his jeans. "Anything I can do-" he's asking, but he knows there's nothing he can do to take his pain away. 

"Nah-" Dean shrugs, looking up at him. "I know I've put you through a lot-" he blinks away the tears. "-so I'm givin' you this one, Cas. Just this one-" the older man nods, like a scolded child.

"Would you feel better if you had sex with someone else-" now he's the one biting his nails nervously. The teen looks at him, confused. "Like an open relationship-"

"You mean we'd be together, but we could both fuck other people?" Castiel nods and he shakes his head. "How the hell is that gonna work when I get this jealous-"

"I just thought you might like the idea, you seem to find plenty of people to cheat on me with-"

"So, you're getting back at me by fucking-" he shakes his head, unable to say her name. 

"No baby, of course not-" Castiel cups the teens face in his hands, "I don't want that kind of relationship but I thought you might-"

Dean pulls himself away, "Well I fuckin' don't-" and goes to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. Castiel follows him, waiting by the open bathroom door. Dean peeks outside through the window, "Still comin' down out there-" he wipes his damp hands and face on a blue towel that was hanging on the back of the door. "I'm goin' out to smoke-"

Castiel follows the teen out to the front porch as well and he's sitting down on the lawn chair, pulling out that old pack of cigarettes he's still got. "I don't think you should be smoking-"

Dean glares at him, "You're not my dad so just go inside and find me a lighter-" Castiel comes back with a lighter a few minutes later and hands it to him. He watches the teen smoke for a while before going inside. 

Eventually the rain seems to taper off so Castiel goes to check on the teen and give him that sandwich they didn't get around to eating earlier but when he makes it to the screen door- he sees that he's already walking up the road to his uncles without saying goodbye. Castiel really misses him and is wondering to himself how dare he ruin things over some woman. Even if that woman was Meg, and his best friend for many years.

Castiel's in his office working on something when his cell rings. it was Bobby. "Hey Bobby, what's up?" 

"Why don't ya come over for dinner? Dean's gone off with that Robin girl and some kid named Kevin that I aint' met yet-"

"Oh, I see." he's so jealous even though Dean's just out with friends. "Sure, I'll come over. Want me to bring anything?"

"How bout' we just cook something together-" 

"Sounds like fun, see you soon-" 

After finishing up in his office he takes the short walk over and has his umbrella in hand, in case it happened to rain again. Castiel pulls open the screen door, finding the bearded man in the kitchen. He was pulling out a package of beef patties from the freezer.

"How bout' some burgers?" 

"Sure, we making them on the grill?" Bobby nods. "Why don't you get that started and I'll get a pie baking in the oven-"

"Mmm, mm!" Bobby sings on his way out to get the fire on the grill started.

Castiel looks around for the pie pan, after finding it he gets to work on making the thing from scratch. It takes him quite a while but once the pie is baking in the oven he joins Bobby outside, and brings hamburger buns along with everything else they need for their little outdoor cookout. 

"Have a seat-" the bearded man gestures to one of the lawn chairs on the grass. "Beautiful night huh-" both men look up at the night sky.

Castiel nods, "Sure is-" though his thoughts are with Dean, not the sky above. As casually as possible he asks, "Dean's been going out more than usual, hasn't he-"

"Oh shut it-" Bobby chuckles, "Would ya rather him be locked up in his room listening to that devil music all the time?"

"I guess not-" Castiel sighs, "Suppose it's good for him to go out-" honestly he wouldn't care if he went out, he's just missing him so bad right now. Once the beef patties begin to sizzle in the fire he gets up to flip them over. Castiel's standing over the grill when they both see a pair of headlights coming down the road. 

Bobby says, "Robin's mom is droppin' em off-"

"Them?" Castiel asks, his eyes focused on the approaching car.

"That Kevin kid from his Sunday class, he's sleepin' over tonight-" he sips his beer.

"What-" Castiel doesn't like that one bit, "Aren't they too old to be having sleep overs?" it's probably an innocent sleepover, but his mind is coming up with the scenario that something else will be going on in Dean's bedroom tonight.

Bobby throws his empty beer can at Castiel, "Will ya quit it! Let em' have the damn sleepover." 

The car stops by the wooden fence and both Dean and Kevin step out of the car. Although he's met the kid already, it doesn't mean he knows anything about him. 

"Come eat boys!" Bobby yells and both boys come running over, "You two eat dinner yet?" they shake their heads. "Good, Cas will serve ya guys-"

Castiel nods in compliance and grabs some paper plates to serve them up a burger each. After getting their food they run up to the house to eat in Dean's room. Castiel serves Bobby next and himself last before he takes a seat on the lawn chair. 

Bobby can sense the tension radiating off the other man, "Stop worryin' about those kids-" he says with a mouth full of burger. "You're too strict on Dean, never let him go out with anyone or do nothin'-"

Castiel blinks in surprise, he didn't think he was strict. "I let him do things-" he bites his burger, clearly in denial.

"When was the last time Dean ever did anythin' on his own?" he waits for an answer, but Castiel can't think of one. "That's what I thought, you mother him too much, that's why he was sick all that time and has problems with food-"

Castiel shakes his head, "Bobby, that's not true-"

Bobby isn't saying this to start an argument but it's the truth, "My Dean loved food, then you come into the picture and suddenly he hates everything-" he cracks open a new beer and hands one to Castiel from the cooler by his chair. "My boy was happy before-"

"When I met Dean-" he hesitates, "-he was already like this. I tried my best to take him out places and spend time with him when my schedule allowed it-"

"Guess his daddy made him that way-" Bobby says sadly. "M'sorry-" he holds out his beer can so they can _cheers_. "-I just remember him different, that's all. I didn't know how bad things had gotten- It had been years since I seen em'-"

Castiel nods, "He's doing better here-" they both smile weakly at each other before finishing their burgers off in silence. "Better check on the pie-" he sprints up the porch steps and into the house to check the oven.

The house smelled heavenly as soon as he opened the oven door, the fruity aroma of cherries wafted into the air. Castiel could hear the sound of two teenagers laughing down the hall and it was a nice sound. He didn't have a problem with Dean having friends, he just wishes he could spend more time with him though after what he did, it doesn't seem likely any time soon. 

Castiel leaves the pie on the counter to let it cool off before cutting into it, he'd have to serve Kevin too, not that he minds- he just wishes tonight was family night. When he returns to his lawn chair outside, they end up forgetting the previous conversation and start talking about their childhoods.

Bobby let him know about dropping out of school at an early age to help his mother by working a job at a grocery store before moving to the local auto body shop. He stayed there for years until he met Karen, the love of his life and bought this house. He told him about trying for a baby and how that just didn't work out for them, it was the main reason why cared for Dean so much- he was like the son he never had but wishes he did.

Bobby told him about how Karen died, an unexplained fever in the middle of winter. His wife had gotten sick during a bad snowstorm, the worst one in years and he couldn't get to the drugstore for medicine or take her to the hospital in time. The next few years after that were the worst of his life, must have cried the most he ever has.

Castiel listened quietly as he told his entire life story, eventually saying "I had no idea. I'm sorry about your wife."

Bobby nods, "Me too-" and sips the last of his beer. 

Castiel volunteers his life story as well, told Bobby about his families financial woes growing up. How they were poor and almost became homeless many times and how when his family finally lost their house, he was already in college- in a dorm room, so he didn't struggle anymore. He told the man about the guilt he carried over not being able to help his family stay afloat while he was in college or all through out the many years of med school and residency. 

By the time he had any money to his name, his mother had passed and the next year so had his father. He told Bobby about his daughter Claire- how she was taken away from him and put into adoption as far as he knows. Castiel tells him about his last boyfriend that had been very abusive- told him John was the same way. Bobby was shocked to find out that the man he helped for so long caused so much pain and havoc in his life.

The look on Castiel's face is a broken one, "-the guy sent me to the ER once." and shakes his head as he flicks the tab on the mouth of his beer can. "Still, I never left him-"

"You stayed for Dean-" Bobby wipes under his eyes in gratitude, Castiel nods. "Thank God ya did, who knows what would have happened to my boy if ya didn't-"

"Uh-" they both suddenly hear the teen behind them and he'd heard some of what was said- especially that last part about his dad sending him to the ER, he didn't know that. "We smelled the pie, can we have some?"

Castiel wipes under his eyes too, "Sure-" and stands up, guiding the teenager back into the house, leaving Bobby outside. Once in the kitchen he cuts into the pie with a large knife, cutting two big pieces for Dean and his friend. "Ice cream?" he asks, opening the freezer and Dean nods. "There you go-" he hands him the plates. 

Dean looks up at him with pain in his eyes, he heard that his father abused him- he knew now, for sure. "Thanks-" he smiles before going to his room down the hall.

Castiel's cutting out a piece for himself and Bobby when he comes in, taking a seat the table. "Eating in here?"

"Yea-" he swats at his arm, "Darn mosquitoes-" the pie is placed in front of him with a scoop of melting vanilla ice cream on top and the bearded man smiles before digging in. "This is good-" 

"Thanks, Bobby-" they eat their desserts in silence for a while.

Bobby breaks the silence, "Sorry John hurt ya so bad-" and he's sad for him. "-knew he was quite the trouble maker but I had no idea it went that far."

Castiel shrugs, "The past is the past right-" they both nod and eventually gets up to pack some of the leftover pie to take home. "See you around, Bobby-" he smiles before heading outside. He made it halfway to the fence when the screen door slams shut, so he turns around expecting to see Bobby but sees Dean instead. "I'm going home-" he says dumbly, waving the tupperware. The teenager runs up to him and hugs him for dear life. "Dean-" he sighs, eyes closing in his embrace.

Dean looks up into his eyes, his chin resting on his chest. "Thank you-" he's about to ask what for but before the question escapes his lips, he's running back inside.

Castiel makes it back home and lets himself inside, tossing the umbrella in the closet. After he puts the pie in the fridge the lights flicker. It rained pretty hard that day so he thinks nothing of it, plus it's an old house. He takes a quick shower and gets ready for bed when the lights flicker once more, still he thinks nothing of it. When he lays in bed with his novel, that's when he hears something in the kitchen. 

He doesn't want to get up to investigate so he ignores it for a while, until he gets up to use the bathroom once more before bed- that's when he decides to have a look. When he enters the kitchen he sees the pie that he had made at Bobby's, on the floor. The cherry filling was smeared on the floor, looking like blood. Still, he thinks nothing of it but really should think _something_. It doesn't cross his mind how it could have gotten on the floor the way it was.

Castiel sweeps up what he could and leaves the blood looking mess on the floor. That was a job for tomorrow, he'd mop it clean then. The lights flicker once more, he ignores it again because he's just too tired- until he smells strong coffee. He was just about to turn out the lights when the aroma reached his nostrils, Castiel turns around to see a mug on the table with dark steaming liquid. 

"Don't do this to me-" he says aloud, softly. "John, you better go-" the lights flicker once more and actually shut off for a good half a minute before they come back on. 

He's usually a brave person, but when it comes to John Winchester -corporeal or otherwise, he's scared of the man. Castiel turns off the kitchen lights before going to his bedroom and locks the door behind him, as if that would somehow keep him away. Castiel ends up lighting a candle on his nightstand just in case the power goes out while he's asleep and gets under the covers. 

Eventually he feels something is different, even though his eyes had been closed for a few minutes in hopes of falling asleep. This time he couldn't ignore it so he opens his eyes to find himself completely in darkness. What he thinks is John, has blown out the candle. 

"I'm sorry for what I did to you-" he whispers softly into the darkness and the candle relights itself almost instantly as the apology was made.


	57. Winchester Nightmare

Aside from everything that has happened the last couple of days and the cherry mess on his kitchen floor, he slept quite well. _Too well._

Castiel's eyes open and he squints at all the sunlight coming in through the curtains in his bedroom. Slowly he gets himself up and out of bed, as he walks down the hall to the kitchen he's realized that he feels different. _Heavy_ almost, maybe he's just sick or something.

It's no surprise when he sees the dried up red goo on the floor and quickly mops it up until his floor is as good as new. The strong aroma of coffee wasn't in the air, no bad smell either so that was somewhat of a win. He's in the middle of making breakfast when his vision becomes a little blurry and quickly blinks it away. Breakfast is had in silence, nothing happened which was good, a second win.

Though when Castiel looks at the time on the clock, he sees that it's evening. Six o'clock to be exact, the alarm never woke him and shrugs it off. The more he moves around the house he notices just how heavy and tired he feels, even if he did really sleep all day. It finally occurs to him to check his phone for the first time since yesterday, no calls or messages. 

It's only been a day but he feels somewhat invisible, like he might be dead himself- but that's a stupid thought to think. _Is it?_ Castiel quickly dials Bobby's landline, no answer. It was odd, the guy always answered. He tries Dean, next. Also no answer, but he rarely picked up anyway. He's got the most horrible feeling, like maybe he went to sleep and never woke up- he dials Meg next, no answer. Even tried calling the hospital, it kept ringing and ringing so he hung up. 

Castiel looks around the home, it's so quiet and still so he knocks on the kitchen table just to make sure that he in fact hasn't gone deaf- he didn't. He goes outside and now the sun is setting, it all feels _strange_ somehow. Castiel takes the short walk over to Bobby's and lets himself in, his truck wasn't there but maybe Dean would be in his room. 

"Dean-" he calls out softly, his voice is raspy. Castiel pushes the door open, his room was empty and his bed was made. "Hello-" he roams around the house, it was completely deserted. But if no one was home, why would the doors be unlocked- he looked out back, no sign of anyone.

Goosebumps pop up all over his arms and he's growing worried, his body feels so heavy to lug around, like he'd just ran a marathon or finished a work out. He's now making his way back home after finding not a living soul next door, taking his time walking up the dirt road. The wind was non existent too and he hugs himself the whole way back. 

Castiel's walking up to the house when he sees someone that he thought might have been Dean walking around in the kitchen so he runs inside, "Dean-" his eyes look around the kitchen, "Dean-" he repeats. He wasn't here, but he saw someone- _something._

He gives up and decides that he's just being ridiculous- he did not die in his sleep. He's alive, he has to be and he's fine. Castiel sits down on the couch and turns on the television, nothing but static appeared on the screen. "The hell-" he sighs, shutting it off because the sound of white noise was too much right then. His eyes look around the living room in boredom until he realizes his computer surely works. 

After taking a seat in his office he pulls the laptop open to find out that it wasn't connecting to the internet, which it should- he was paying for the most expensive package and had a technician come to the house when he'd moved in to set everything up for him. A message kept popping up on his laptop reading _device out of range._

Suddenly he gets the urge to get out of the house, at least until he can talk to somebody- Bobby or Dean. 

After sitting down in his vehicle, he tries to turn the key in the ignition but nothing happens. Absolutely nothing happens, except for the battery light comes on- meaning it was dead. Castiel was sure that he hadn't left the cars headlights on, he was sure of it- it happened once and never again, lesson learned. Now He can't go anywhere, completely trapped. 

Castiel didn't know he'd fallen asleep until a knock on his car window startles him. "Bobby-" he rolls down the window. "Bobby, it's you-" 

The bearded older man looks at him, "Yea it's me-" and pulls open the door to helps him out of the car. "You been drinkin'?" 

"What-" he squints at the older man. "No-"

"Cause ya look like hell-" Bobby helps him up the porch steps, all the way to his bedroom. "Been tryna reach ya for days-"

Castiel blinks furiously, "Days?" Bobby nods. "But yesterday we had dinner-I-I made a cherry pie-"

Bobby frowns, "That was last week-" suddenly his hand is pressing against his forehead as if to check for a temperature. "Ya feel a little warm, think I should call an ambulance-"

Castiel yells, "No!" and he's shaking. "I don't need to go to the hospital, I'm fine-"

"You're not fine-" Bobby's got his cell in his hand, "Ya been missin' a week, have ya gone to work?" the look of confusion on his face says it all. "Ya haven't been to work-" he sighs, pocketing the phone. 

"I don't know anymore-" Castiel whimpers like he might cry and covers his eyes with his hand.

Bobby sighs, "I'll make ya some soup-" 

Before the bearded man disappears he says, "Stay for a while?" and he nods before going to make that soup in the kitchen. In no time at all he returns, most likely because all the soup he had in the house came in a can. "Thank you, Bobby-" 

Bobby pulls up a chair so he can sit next to the bed and keep him company. "Sure you're alright?" 

Castiel nods, tasting the soup. "I think so. I woke up feeling strange today-" he thinks it over, "-felt really, _heavy."_

Bobby combs his beard with his fingers, old habit. "You're depressed-"

"No, it's not that." Castiel blows on his soup, "I feel it in my body, I feel heavy and tired-emotionally I'm fine." and he's in denial yet again. The doctor told him that depression doesn't always feel like a sad feeling that lingers for a long time.

"Don't wanna call ya out-" Bobby huffs, "-I like drinkin' myself but I saw that empty bottle of whiskey in your bathroom-"

"What?" Castiel squints at the man sitting by his bed. "I wasn't drinking-" and it was true, he wasn't, or at least he doesn't think so. The last time he checked, that bottle of whiskey was half full and it was a new bottle he'd gotten after the last and final time he'd gotten drunk after John died.

"Then what-" he chuckles, making a joke, "John came and raided your stash then, drank ya whiskey-" 

Castiel gulps, setting the nearly empty bowl of soup on the nightstand. "Maybe-"

"Oh shut it-" Bobby laughs, "-he's dead." 

"Right-" Castiel laughs nervously, looking at the darkness outside the wide open bedroom door. "Times like these, I hate that Dean doesn't live with me-"

Bobby thinks about it and even though Castiel wasn't fishing for anything he makes a decision, "I'll tell Dean to come stay the night, tell em' you been sick-"

Castiel smiles sadly, looking down at his hands. "Please don't, I'm sure he has better things to do." he leans back in bed, pulling the covers up to his chest. "Thanks for the soup Bobby, think I'll be okay now-"

It's his cue to go so he stands up, patting the mans shoulder. "Call if ya need anythin'-" 

Even with how tired he feels, his eyes can't seem to close. The neon red numbers on the digital clock by his bed keep changing and he's getting more restless with each passing minute. Castiel's been hearing the odd creak in the halls floorboards, occasionally the tree branches brush up the windows in his bedroom that cause a scratching sound but nothing is more disturbing than the strong aroma of fresh coffee that wafts under his door from the kitchen. 

He's afraid that if he goes to investigate, he might just see John at his kitchen table drinking a cup of that motor oil crap he always made. Eventually Castiel starts to drift away but a sudden creak has his eyes flying open to see Dean standing by the open door in the darkness with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Damn it-" the teenager had scared him and sits up in bed, his heart beating way too fast. "What are you doing here?"

"Bobby said you were sick and needed help-" as soon as Castiel's hand rests over his chest Dean rushes over, thinking the guys having a heart attack. After setting the coffee cup on the nightstand he helps him lay back down, "Get some sleep, yea?-"

Castiel nods nervously, his eyes going around the room and whispers, "This place is haunted-"

Dean almost wants to laugh, but he's made peace with his father's death already since he's not seeing or hearing anything anymore. 

"Can you sleep over?" He asks. "I'm scared-"

Dean smiles, nodding. "Sure-" it amused him that this man, the braver one of the two was actually scared of something. "I'm gonna run home and grab somethin' to sleep in-"

"Don't leave me alone-" he knows he's pathetic at the moment. "Just grab something of mine-"

Dean nods even though he's clearly annoyed. Hes looking through the man's drawers in Hope's of finding something to wear but he doubts anything will fit him. So he decides on an old college shirt of his and it was still two sizes too big. 

"So cute-" Castiel comments. It looked like the teen wasn't wearing anything under the shirt in terms of underwear but that was just hopeful thinking. 

Dean rushes into bed next to him and pulls the shirt over his legs when he catches the older man checking them out. "Stop eye raping me-" his tone is soft, shy almost.

"You still do that-" he smiles and closes his yes before falling asleep right then. The teen watches over him for a while before falling asleep too.

In the morning Dean wakes up first to realize that Castiel was spooning him from behind which he hadn't realized. After somehow managing to get out of bed without waking the man up, he goes to the kitchen to whip up something for breakfast. He'd actually woken up hungry. After burning the eggs, twice- he's given up. Dean's rinsing the pan under hot water so that all the burnt bits can be scraped off, that's when Castiel comes into the kitchen.

"What happened in here here-" he yawns obnoxiously loud.

Dean looks over his shoulder before shutting off the water, leaving the ruined pan in the sink. "Was gonna make you some eggs but I burnt them-" Castiel laughs. "-how about we go to the diner? They have specials in the morning-"

Castiel shakes his head because he didn't feel like going anywhere. Mostly because he still feels out of sorts and Bobby telling him that he's been MIA for a week does nothing to settle his nerves. How could he lose a week of time? Maybe he really had chugged an entire bottle of whiskey.

"Stop that-" Dean comes closer to him, pulling his hand away from his mouth- he'd been biting his nails. "That's my habit-" he smiles warmly up at him and Castiel's overcome with the urge to kiss the hell out of the teen but he represses it. "Come on, you need to get out of the house. Bobby told me you haven't been to work either, I hope they don't fire your ass-"

Castiel chuckles, "You know just how to make me feel better-" the words are sarcastic. "I guess we're going to the diner for breakfast, you finished all my eggs in your little science experiment anyway-" his eyes look over to the empty carton of eggs in the trash by the stove.

The somewhat long drive to the diner is spent in silence, though the teen sang once in a while when he heard a song that he knew the words to play on the radio. Castiel surprisingly didn't tell him to shut up and it wasn't because he was singing beautifully. This time he was singing like his obnoxious self because he was in a good mood which was also a surprise given everything that's happened.

They're sitting at their usual booth when Dean calls Robin over so he can order, "Eggs and bacon, Cas?" he looks at the man across from him, who looks distracted. "Uh, he'll have the special and some coffee." she nods before going to the kitchen. "You okay?" 

Castiel nods, blinking away the thoughts that are swirling around in his mind. "I think I should go to the doctor tomorrow-" 

"Really?" Their food comes, "Thanks Robin-" and as soon as she leaves he returns his attention to the man across the table. "I'll go with you, if you want me to-"

Castiel shakes his head, "I'm sure you have better things to do- you're almost done with Sunday School, you have to go with Bobby and pick out a suit to wear for your communion-" he's in deep though, assessing everything that needs to be done on Dean's end. "I can go alone-"

"Can't we get my suit after we go see the doctor?" Dean's pouring way too much cream and sugar into his coffee. "Bobby said you were really out of it, don't think you should go anywhere alone-"

Castiel nods, "Yeah-" and chuckles softly while he now prepares his own coffee. "I thought I had died to be honest, no one would answer my calls-"

But Dean didn't think it was funny, it worried him even more. "Why the hell would you think you were dead?" they're eating so Castiel doesn't answer right away, he just shrugs in response. 

Now that he's almost done with his meal he continues the conversation, "I woke up feeling strange-" their eyes meet from across the table. "I had been hearing things all night and-" he's about to give more information but decides against it. "-just weird things have been happening. I don't really remember the past week."

"That's not good-" Dean says while chewing the last piece of his bacon, "-maybe you're going senile." he says it seriously, that's why Castiel gets offended and he knows it because the man looks away angrily. "I was joking-"

Castiel nods, already fishing in his back pocket for his wallet so he can pay for their meal and get going. "Ready to go?" he chugs his coffee and drops a few bills on the table next to the mess they made. Dean left his plate in a slightly better condition, knowing how it feels to pick up after people.

They make the short drive from the diner to the market, Castiel needed help with his grocery shopping but it was just a sneaky way to spend more time with the teen since they were taking a break. Dean was just happy to be able to make money without having to go to an actual job everyday, though he knew this was his step father doing him a favor- hiring him to be his maid and errand boy. 

Everything is going well as they pick up the things on Castiel's list, until the guy accidentally knocks over a stack of toilet paper rolls over. "Careful-" Dean takes the shopping cart from him. "You okay?"

Castiel's face is red, "It was an accident-"

Dean tries not to laugh and after a while he says, "Watch it, your big ass is gonna knock that off too-" Castiel ignores his teasing, backing away from the piled up boxes that had been in the aisle they walking through. Once they have everything, they go to the check out lane. "You okay?" he asks once again, the look on his face has him worried because Castiel looked so lost and confused. 

"Yeah-" he nods somberly, getting out his wallet to pay for everything.

The ride home was silent and uneventful, they didn't speak a word to each other though Dean tried to make conversation a few times to which Castiel responded with a _hmm._ Something was bothering him and it wasn't their temporary split, which did kind of hurt his feelings but that's something to cry about later when he's alone in his room. Right now, the guy was freaking him out because he just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that he doesn't remember the last few days. 

Unless he really had been drinking like Bobby thinks, it would explain the wiped memory and his weird behavior but he doesn't think that's it. He'd seen how sick Castiel had gotten the last time he drank. The guy wasn't going to drink like that again and he knew that for a fact. 

Back at home Dean helps Castiel carry everything into the kitchen and puts each item in it's designated place- either in the fridge or the pantry. "So-" he says, looking over at the older man.

"Yes?" Castiel plops down on the couch, while Dean was in the kitchen making him a sandwich before he went home and he's doing it out of his own free will. Castiel hadn't asked for him to do anything of the sort. He was sort of expecting the teen to be rushing out of the house already.

Dean shrugs and walks up to him, handing him the sloppily made sandwich on a paper plate.

"I see how much you love me-" he says softly, analyzing the poorly made meal. "You still love me don't you?" their eyes meet and the teen nods. "Then why didn't you give me any chips-" a smile forms on his lips.

"Tomorrow we're going to the doctor-" he sighs, ignoring the comment about chips.

"Can you sleep over again?" Castiel asks, halfway through his sandwich and it didn't surprise either of them since he always ate fast. 

"Again?" Dean sighs, shaking his head. "You sure you're just not fakin' it just to-" the look on his face is sincere. "Okay, I'll sleep over-"

Dean goes to bed in another one of Castiel's shirts that fits him too big and somehow by morning, when he wakes up- he finds himself with his leg draped over his step father, lazily kissing him like they were already back on.

"Mmm-" Castiel hums, enjoying the softness of the teens lips against his. Without thinking he pulls Dean on top of him, his hands groping and squeezing his ass. "Fuck-"

"Ugh-" Dean moans softly, grinding down against the man's hard body underneath him until suddenly it hits him. "We're broken up asshole-" and rolls off onto his side of the bed, panting. 

"You kissed me-" Castiel defends himself breathlessly. 

Dean's face goes pink instantly, "You know I'm needy in the morning-" and he gets up out of bed, pulling the shirt off his body, letting it drop on the floor so he can change into his own clothes. After looking at his cellphone he says, "Bobby didn't call me-" and pockets it.

Castiel gets out of bed and starts looking for jeans and a shirt to change into before they head to the doctor, "I'm sorry I took advantage-"

Dean smiles, "Perv-" and he asks a question, mostly to get under the guys skin. "So, you gonna go find another underage boy to defile or you gonna wait for me?" Castiel glares at him. "Kidding-"

"You're hilarious-" he reaches behind the teen and spanks his bottom. "-let's get going." as he walks down the hall he smiles to himself with Dean following close behind. 

The drive into town held more conversation, not much but some. They talked about Bobby and the new friend he'd made who moved in about a mile away from them, told him the guy had a really nice car that surely Dean would be drooling over. Dean didn't really ask much about the guy, not that he cared to anyway since he expected the new neighbor to be the same age as his uncle. _Boring._

They're in the doctors office when Castiel says, "You didn't have to come inside with me-"

Dean shakes his head, "Oh no no no, I wanna talk to the doc-" and laughs. "-gonna ask him to check you for crabs and whatever else you coulda' got from _her."_

"Must you be so crass?" Castiel shudders, "Meg doesn't have anything-"

"We'll let the doctor decide that." Dean says, arms crossed at his chest. "She hasn't called to tell you she's preggo yet, has she?"

Castiel sighs in agony, "No-" then he thinks about it-she has been calling a lot actually. "-well, she's calling but I don't pick up."

"Awesome-" he says sarcastically. "-so we'll be married and I'll be stuck at home taking care of your love child while you're working all day-"

"How do you even know what that is?" Castiel says, the doctor knocks right then before coming in and they're both embarrassed at the conversation they were just engaging in.

"Hello, Mr. Novak-" the doctor sits down, "Taking the medication I prescribed you last time, for depression?"

Castiel nods, "I was but-" he sighs. "-I threw them away. I didn't like what they were doing to me, I wasn't myself-"

"Mhmm-" Dean hums, watching him. The doctor laughs, not knowing what's going on between them. "Tell em' Cas-"

"Tell me what?" 

"He messed around with some chick-" Dean straightens up in his seat. "-can you make sure he didn't catch something-" and he's not joking, he wants the doctor to check.

"Uh-" the doctor looks at Castiel, who nods. "I can order some blood work to check for things of that nature, but the results will come back to me in a couple of days." they both nod, "If you don't hear from me in a week, it's safe to say I didn't find anything-" 

"Sounds good-" Dean says.

"Protective over your dad huh?" the doctor laughs and the teen goes pink in the face. "So, what brings you here today? Aside from wanting to check for, you know-" he laughs again. 

Castiel hesitates before answering, "I haven't been myself lately. I've been feeling very tired, sluggish-I can't think straight." of course those aren't his only problems, but how can he tell a doctor that he thinks his ex lover is haunting him from beyond the grave- unless he really is losing his marbles. He can't tell the doctor that he hears voices and smells things that aren't there.

"Hmm-" the doctor writes something down. "-are you stressed?" he looks through his chart, "You're in shape, not overweight. You don't have high blood pressure, no diabetes-"

Once again, Castiel got nowhere with his doctor visit except for a prescription for a refill on his anti depressants that he knows he won't be taking again. The doctor wasn't listening to him at all and unfortunately he was starting to understand what Dean might have been going through. Feeling horrible and no one being able to give him any answers. Well, not the answers he wanted to hear anyway.

"This was a waste of time-" Castiel huffs while driving.

"No-" Dean states, looking out the window. "We're gonna find out if that bitch gave you somethin' or not-"

Castiel rolls his eyes, "We're not having sex anymore anyway-"

"You say that like you don't miss fuckin' me-" and the words sounds really hurt.

Castiel looks over at the teen before pulling into a coffee shops parking lot and leaving the car running. "Look at me-" he orders, grabbing him by the chin. "You mean the world to me-" Dean nods, his eyes welling up with tears. "I am sorry for hurting you-" he lets go of his face. "I don't expect you to forgive me and you shouldn't-"

"Someday I will-" Dean states. "-I still want to marry you."

"Why?" Castiel asks, "I cheated on you-"

Dean closes his eyes at the mention of it, "It doesn't change how I feel, do _you_ still love _me?"_

"Of course I do-" Castiel looks down at his hands. "I couldn't stop, even if I wanted to but I cheated and there's no forgiving tha-" Dean pulls him close by the collar of his shirt and plants one on him. "What was that for-" he whispers against soft lips.

"Shut up-" Dean whispers before kissing him again, "Miss you-" he mumbles, shoving his tongue into the older mans mouth before he pulls away suddenly. "What's wrong-"

Castiel licks his lips, shaking his head. "You shouldn't kiss me, I don't deserve it-" 

"You never woulda cheated on me if that bitch didn't come here-" Dean states, "Right?" and he nods in agreement. "Do you want to make me feel better?" he nods again. "Then kiss me, asshole-" 

Castiel leans over carefully, kissing his love passionately right there in broad daylight in front of a busy coffee shop. "Okay-" he pulls away gently, "Tell me how I can make it up to you-"

"Rent a cabin-" Dean presses a kiss to his lips again. "For us."

"Bobby would never let that happen-"

"He will-" Dean promises. "I'll tell him I need to get away from everything. I'll ask him to come with us but he won't be able to sice he's getting a lot of business lately-"

"Aren't you sneaky-" Castiel pulls away completely to his side of the car. "Get the all clear and then I'll rent the cabin. Mind If I go in and get us something?" he asks, looking ahead at the coffee shop.

Dean shakes his head, "Sure-"

"What do you want?" Castiel steps out of the car, leaving the door open until he decides.

"Uh, whatever you're having-" 

"I'll be right back-" Castiel shuts the door and walks up to the shop. When he exits the shop a good while later he's got two drinks in hand. 

"What are we having?" Dean asks when the man opens the car door and let's himself inside.

"Iced mochas-" 

As soon as he takes a sip, Dean perks up. "Oh my God, there's chocolate in this-" the straw is bitten down between his teeth as he sucks the straw, old habit.

Castiel laughs but soon guilt rises in his gut, how dare he cheat on this boy. He pulls out of the coffee shop after taking a few quick sips of his own drink in hopes of waking himself up since he was dragging today. They're almost back home when Dean says, "How else are you gonna make it up to me?"

"If you were a girl I'd just buy you a designer purse and call it a day-" he pulls up to the dirt road that leads to the house. The comment was meant to be a joke, even if it is what he would do if he had a girlfriend. "-but you're not a girl."

"Hmm-"

Castiel looks over at the teen, "Don't tell me you want a purse?"

Dean snorts, "No but I wouldn't be mad if you wanted to buy me something expensive. You never buy me nothin' unless it's clothes-"

"I'll buy you whatever you want-" he says mindlessly as he drives up to the house, his own- not Bobby's. "Are you hungry?" Dean shrugs, biting the straw of his drink. "You've been eating, right?" and parks right up front, almost hitting the porch steps.

Dean makes a sudden confession, "I used to drink coffee instead of eating-" still biting the straw of his coffee. "I still do it sometimes-"

Castiel nods, "Why are you telling me this?" because he'd known about this. Even if he hadn't known the details, he knew all about his frequent meal skipping.

Dean turns in his seat a little bit, now facing his step father. "I have an eating _disorder-"_ his voice cracks so he repeats it again. "I have an eating disorder-"

"I know baby-" Castiel leans over and hugs him awkwardly in the vehicles confined space. "I know that-" his hand is rubbing up and down the teens back. "I'm proud of you, finally admitted it-" he pulls away after a while, his thumb rubbing away the tears on his cheek.

"Yea-" Dean smiles. "That's the step before getting better, right?" his eyes look so hopeful. 

Castiel nods, "You've been better for a while now, you just didn't notice-" and he regrets it, hoping not to trigger him in any way by implying that he looked better. The teen could take it to mean that he's gained weight, which he has of course but it looked good on him. "So-" he sighs, a smile on his face. "Movie night?"

"Sure-" the teen smiles. "-but I get to pick the movie."

"I don't even care what we watch-" his hand reaches for Dean's, "-I just want to be with you."

"Ugh-" he groans in fake disgust, "-you're so gay." 

That night they enjoy a movie that Dean has chosen while they sit together on the couch. Although it's nothing more than a simple movie night with a pizza shared between the two, it means something. They both realize it's not over and it never will be, not between them. It will never be over because they aren't just in love, they're family and that will be stronger than anything they go through.

No matter the mistake or circumstance, they'll always have each other. It doesn't matter if they're together or not, they have years under their belts and that can never be erased or thrown away. Both of them are in it for life, however that may look like. 

Love is love, regardless if there's a label on it or not.


	58. Camaro Lovin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the character I added in the next two chapters has nothing to do with spn but I just wrote him in for fun, he won't be a permanent character. Hope you enjoy anyhow x

Dean's having breakfast in the kitchen when he suddenly abandons his meal on the table, taking his coffee with him. He sips on it quietly as he admires the shiny black Camaro his uncle was currently working on. "Damn-" he whistles before exiting the back screen door to join his uncle out back.

Bobby looks over his shoulder as soon as the screen door creaked open, "Ain't she?-" it was a question that didn't need an answer because the car was gorgeous whether he confirmed it or not.

"Who owns this car?" his tone sounds curious and he is, he'd love to know who the vehicles owner is. 

"Derek Hale-" Bobby says as he straightens up, rubbing the knot on his lower back. Dean nods casually while sipping his coffee, not knowing who this _Derek_ guy is but he figures he'll meet him eventually when he comes over to pick up his car. "Ya mind helping me? New cars and me, we don't get along-"

The teen grins, "Hell yes-" and runs his hand over the smoothness of the vehicle. "Think Cas would buy me one just like this for my birthday?" the look on his uncles face says it all. "Yea, I didn't think so either-" his smile falls because he knows asking his step father for a car this nice is pushing his luck- even if he could afford it.

Since this was a newer vehicle, Bobby let Dean do all the work and mostly just supervised him. Dean changed the oil and put in some brand new spark plugs. "Done-" he wipes the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. 

"Good Job-" Bobby comments, looking over his work. After patting the teenager on the back he says, "Hope ya don't leave my client stranded this time-"

Dean makes a face that looks like he was insulted, "I think I did good-" and wipes his hands on a rag before closing the hood of the pretty car. "Damn, this guy has a really nice car-" he sighs longingly once again. "I hope Cas get's me a ride this nice for my birthday-" he just has to say it again because Castiel really should get him a car this cool- after what he's done with a certain _woman_ he hates. 

"Let's head in for some lunch-" as soon as they make it through the screen door Bobby says, "-after we eat, I'll call em' so he can come for his car. He's a nice fella-"

Dean nods as he pulls out the supplies for sandwiches from the fridge, "Heard from Cas?" and gets to work on making them right there at the kitchen table. "He's been weird lately-"

The bearded man shrugs and takes a bite of his sandwich, "He called to check on you this mornin'-"

They're almost done eating when Dean asks, "So-" and chugs the last of his root beer soda. "-what's this Derek guy like, where'd you meet em'-" he's come to know that most if not all of his uncles clients are referred to him by word of mouth by someone in town or he knew them already. 

"One of my friends gave him my number-" Bobby wipes his hands and mouth on a napkin now that he's finished eating. "-dunno much about em', he's kinda young-" the teen looks hopeful, like this guy could be his friend but his uncle pats him on the head after standing up. "Not your kinda young, he's in his twenties-"

There's a honk out front and Bobby goes to look who it is, "That's Derek-" he laughs. "Didn't even have to call em' after all."

Dean gets up to and goes to have a look. The guy was dropped off by a big black truck by the wooden fence, although he can't see him too well from here but he's wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses on an overcast day. _Douchebag._

"Hey Bobby, my car ready yet?-" the guy pulls open the screen door like he's known his uncle forever, except he doesn't and both adults head out back through the screen door that was falling apart, barely hanging on. The jerk didn't even seem to notice him standing right there. They stay out back chatting for a while so eventually goes outside to join them, it took a few minutes but the leather jacket wearing asshole finally notices him. "Whose this?" he extends his hand and the teen shakes it gently.

"That's my nephew, Dean-" Bobby says before continuing their conversation and he's pissed that he isn't the center of attention.

Luckily enough, Derek seems interested in Dean and asks about him. "So Dean, what's your deal-"

Dean's taken by surprise so he stumbles a bit, "Uh I like cars-" and jams his hands into his jeans pockets. "I actually fixed your car, and you're welcome." the words come out after finding a little bit of confidence, like it was hiding in his pockets or something.

Derek laughs, "Sorry about that-" and shakes Dean's hand once again in gratitude, sneakily slipping him a few bills without his uncles knowledge. "You in school?" he asks, arms crossed at his chest, completely focused on him.

"I'll be starting college soon, next week actually." and he smiles awkwardly, the guy was built like a Greek God and it was making him feel inferior under that wolfish gaze. 

The tall dark and handsome stranger takes a step closer to the teenager and no one notices the thunder rumbling in the distance, "What are you studying?" 

"Automotive Technology-" he responds, now rubbing the back of his head anxiously and Bobby goes back inside, telling them to do the same before the rain comes.

"So, you really do love cars-" he smiles, reaching inside his pocket for his business card. "Here-" and puts it in the teenagers hand. "My numbers on here." he laughs softly, "And If I ever have any more car troubles, I'll call you." 

Dean nods dumbly before looking down at the card in his hand, "You're a dentist?" he asks after writing his own number on an extra card the guy had on him.

Derek smiles proudly, "Dental Hygienist-" and walks towards his car, opening the door. "But I'll be a dentist soon." he smiles once again, flashing his pearly whites. The guy really did have white ass teeth, Dean kind of thinks his two front teeth make him look like a bunny.

"See ya round?" the teen nods. "Cool, Bye-" and he gets into his car, carefully reversing and driving around the other cars in the back yard that Bobby was still working on.

The enormously large backyard was sort of used as his workspace, his own personal junk yard where he could work on several cars at once. It was Bobby's heaven and luckily he always had business, everybody in town loved him.

Dean pretends to be busy looking for something in the back, and follows far behind the car just so he can watch it drive off. "So friggin' awesome-" the car honks in the distance and he waves stupidly.

They're in the middle of dinner when his cellphone rings and although he doesn't recognize the number, he answers anyway. "Yea-" it was Derek. "Hey-" and his stomach does a flip, because he knows if the guy is calling him it means that the work he did on the vehicle didn't hold up. "Sure, no problem- I'll come help you." he hangs up, adding the guys number to his contact list right then in case he calls again.

"Ya messed it up huh-" Bobby laughs. 

"Yea-" Dean finishes his food as fast as he can, "-so we goin' now?" 

"I got a car to finish before tomorrow mornin'- take my tow truck and bring his car back here so I can see what went wrong-" he tosses the teenager his keys. Dean's never driven the tow truck before and the fact that he doesn't have his license yet, makes him more nervous. 

"But it's late-" it wasn't _that_ late. "I don't know-"

"Everything will be fine, if ya run into trouble least he'll be with ya. He's an adult, he'll know what to do-" Dean's still not sure about going on his own, "He's got my number-" and he makes his way out the door to his _heaven_. "Drive slow if ya scared!"

Dean lets himself into the tow truck, making sure it's got plenty of gas before driving away. Derek had sent him directions to where his car had died on him, it was way into town, near the diner so he manages to get there in almost half an hour and he drove slow like his uncle told him to. There he was, Derek hale- leaning against the coolest car he's seen in a while. He honks at the guy, who quickly turns his way and smiles. _Shit._

"Hey!" Dean calls out from the trucks window before stepping out. "What happened?" the tow truck was pretty high up off the ground, so he had to jump down.

Derek shrugs and pops the hood, of course he didn't know- he had enough money to just pay others to figure it out for him. They're both under the hood of the car trying to figure out the problem when Dean finds the issue first, he made the mistake of putting in the new oil without changing out the old one. Once again this mistake comes to bite him in the ass.

"Here-" Derek takes off his leather jacket and hands it to a confused Dean Winchester. "It's cold and you didn't bring a jacket-" 

"Nah-" he shakes his head, slamming the hood down. 

"Take it-" Derek enforces, "I know you're freezing-" the teen nods and pulls on his jacket, instantly he's warm and feeling flushed in this man's jacket. Derek looks around before saying, "Is there a place around here where we can grab a bite? I haven't eaten all day-"

"Sure, there's a diner not far from here." 

Together they get the Camaro hooked up to the tow truck and Dean drives them the short distance to the diner, though because of the cargo in back- he ends up parking farther than he normally would.

Once they're sitting at a small table in the back, one of the only few tables available- they order. Dean ordered pie and coffee, while Derek ordered a plain burger and a salad on the side. Every time Dean moves, the jacket makes that leathery noise and it makes him feel more and more shy by the second- especially now, without wearing his leather jacket, he can see that the man is wearing a short black shirt and he can't stop watching those muscles every time he moves.

"You work out a lot-" Dean says, mentally kicking himself for asking something so obvious. Of course the guy works out, look at him.

Derek laughs, digging into his meal. "Sometimes-" eventually he says, "Before school starts, I'd like to see you-" Dean looks at him, thinking the wrong thing so he clarifies. "-so I can clean your teeth." 

"Ohh-" Dean nods stupidly before his smile falls, "Wait, like a teeth cleaning?" the guy nods. "I guess-"

Derek shrugs, "Well, teeth cleanings are very important-"

Dean nods, all finished with his pie now. "Right, it's been a while-" he laughs. 

"Hmm-" the guy hums in concern. "Open your mouth, smile for me."

Dean blushes and opens his mouth without questioning anything. "Ah-"

"You definitely need a cleaning, no offense-" he laughs. "Come by tomorrow, around ten? The address is on the card I gave you." after a beat, "On the house-" because he knows maybe the teen can't afford it because he knows where he lives. Bobby's house wasn't really up to code on a lot of things, they lived in an old house- it was no secret and he wanted to do something nice for the kid.

"Sure-" Dean hides his face in his mug. "-I'll ask my uncle or my step dad to take me."

Once they've completely finished eating they head outside to the tow truck and Derek asks, "What's the plan-" he looks at his car on the back of the truck. "-for my car."

Dean's voice is soft, "I'll drive you back to my uncles and he'll change out the oil, free of charge." 

The drive back to Bobby's takes forever, the rain was making it hard to see. "Here we are-" Dean mentions, driving down the dirt road and around back of the house. "So-" and he's the only one that has to jump down from the truck. "-you grow up here?"

Derek laughs, "Just moved up the road actually, about a mile away from here-" Dean chokes on his spit, coughing up into his hand and tries his best to conceal it. "I grew up in California, Beacon Hills actually-" they walk up to the back screen door to let themselves in. "-I was driving into town to get stuff for my house when my car died on me." he elbows the teen in the arm playfully. "Thanks for that-"

"Sorry-" Dean apologizes before yelling, "We're back!" and soon Bobby meets them by the back door and goes out to fix his mistake before the rain decided to come down even harder. They go sit on the couch in the living room, "So-" it's awkward and every sound seems louder than it was.

Derek plops down on the couch as well, "So-" they both look around the room awkwardly. 

"Hello-" Castiel calls out before letting himself in through the screen door, once his eyes fall on the older man and Dean on the couch he becomes protectively jealous. "Who are you?" he crosses his arms at his chest.

Derek laughs and stands up, extending his hand for Castiel to shake. "Derek Hale, sir." they shake hands, "Firm grip you have there sir-" 

Castiel already hates him, "Again, who are you and what are you doing here, with my son?" Dean blushes furiously, looking at the two men and hoping they don't fight. 

He laughs again, hands stuffed into his jeans pockets. "Bobby is fixing my car. I just moved about a mile from here-"

"Is that so-" Castiel visibly relaxes a bit, but not much because he doesn't like walking in on Dean with some other guy. "What do you do?"

Derek smiles, flashing those perfect teeth. "Dental hygienist, I'll be a dentist soon. What do you do, sir?" 

Castiel hates this guy already, it's confirmed. "I'm a doctor-" Derek nods, he's impressed. "You keep calling me sir, just how old are you?"

"Just turned twenty four, sir." 

"Cas-" he says his name to grab his attention, "So what are you doin' here so late? We didn't have plans."

Castiel scratches at his stubble, "It can wait-" and gives the body builder in the room another glance before leaving them alone once again. He'd come to give Dean his weekly vitamin injection, but didn't want to do it front of this guy.

Once they're alone again, Derek sighs loudly in relief. "He's tough-" and sits down on the couch. 

Dean shakes his head, taking a seat again. "It's been just us for a long time, he's just protective." after a pause he says, "I was sick a long time, so he worries about me more than he should-" 

Derek frowns, "Sorry to hear that-" even though he's curious about what was wrong with the kid- he doesn't, maybe later if they got to know each other better he won't feel like a total asshole if he asked. "What's taking so long-" he laughs nervously after a while longer. He can feel the teenagers eyes on him and it's making him uncomfortable. To kill some time he asks, "So, you got a girlfriend-" he punches the teens shoulder softly, "Or should I say girlfriends, you're a cute kid."

Dean's leaning back against the sofa with is legs spread open and his hands clasped between them with a blush on his cheeks. "No girlfriend-" 

"Don't worry, when you get to college-" he leans closer. "Plenty of girls there to have fun with." 

Dean nods quickly, "Yea-" and finally the back screen door slams shut meaning Bobby came inside the house. "You done?!" he calls out a bit too loudly.

"Yea!" his uncle calls, his heavy footsteps approaching.

Derek and Dean walk to the front door together, Bobby hands the guy his keys, telling him his car is waiting for him out front. "Thank you Bobby Singer-" they shake hands and Bobby leaves them be.

"Your jacket-" Dean is about to take it off when Derek grips the jacket, by the collar. "Uh-" and he can't help but just look up at the guy- completely hypnotized.

"Looks nice on you, keep it-" he opens the door, "See you tomorrow at ten, you better show up."

Dean quickly nods again, "I will- bye." and just like that, the man is gone.

Once he's alone in his room, he sends Castiel a quick text letting him know he'd like to get a cleaning before school starts, tomorrow if possible. Dean's relaxing in bed for a long while, flipping though the pages of a dirty magazine he'd stolen from his uncles room when he'd first gotten there at the beginning of the summer when he hears a knock on his door. "Yea-" he calls out, fully expecting his uncle but it was Castiel who peeks his head in. 

"I came to give you your injection-" he comes in and sits on the bed.

"You know that guy is just a client of Bobby's, you don't gotta freak out-" the teen lifts the sleeve of his shirt up.

Castiel nods, "-I got jealous." and pockets the syringe to dispose of safely later on once he's administered the shot. "That guy was attractive and I thought-"

"You think he's hot, don't you?" Dean smiles, Castiel doesn't answer. "You know I'm only gay for you right-" he playfully shoves the older man with his bare foot. 

"Yeah?" Castiel begins to rub his foot, massaging between his toes. 

"Cas-" Dean whines, biting his lip. "Stop-" he'd already been hard in his jeans from the dirty magazine. Although he was _gay_ for his step father, he did enjoy the ladies- well, looking at them at least.

"Miss you-" Castiel admits, "So much-" his hands begin massaging his legs, then his thighs- that's when the teen moans, and he covers his mouth quickly. They both listen to their surroundings for a good minute to see if they've been caught.

"Bobby-" he whispers, hugging his legs to himself now. "So-" Dean mentions casually after a beat, "-after my birthday can I still go live with you? Even if were not-"

"You want to?" Castiel's nervous, he doesn't know if he'll ever be forgiven for what he did. Dean nods and he smiles before getting up to go.

"Wait-" Dean stands up, coming close to Castiel. "Forgot your goodnight kiss, asshole-" and pulls the older man down so he can plant a soft one on him. "Pick me up at nine for the dentist-"

Castiel nods, "Goodnight-" his eyes are half closed, clearly having enjoyed the kiss. 

In the morning Castiel comes by to take him to the dentist, "Hello-" he announces himself before coming inside the house. "Where's Dean?" 

Bobby's at the kitchen table having breakfast, "He's sleepin'-"

"Damn it-" he rushes over to his room and has to shake him awake because Dean stayed up late being a teenager and jacking off until he couldn't anymore. 

"What-" Dean groans, rolling over onto his stomach and hugging the pillow for dear life.

"Dentist-" Castiel says before the teen throws the covers off himself and begins to pull on some jeans and a shirt. "I'll be in the car-" he sighs before he goes.

Eventually Dean comes out, a good fifteen minutes later and he just has to ask. "You like this Derek guy, don't you?" there's a pause between them in the silence of the vehicle. "I won't get mad if you do, just be honest with me-"

Dean shrugs, "Yea- I guess I do." and his step father looks visibly pained by the admission, "Not like that-"

"Oh?" Castiel looks over at him briefly while he drives.

"He's nice is all-" Dean says, looking out the window as his forehead presses to the cold glass.

That's the last thing they say to each other until they reach the address on the back of the card Dean had handed Castiel. As soon as they walk into the dentists office, he gets a call. "Go sign in-" Castiel gives Dean some money for the visit and goes outside to answer his cell.

Dean pockets the cash before signing in and takes a seat one of the chairs in the waiting room when Castiel walks in not long after, letting him know that he has to go into work already because of an emergency. He nods, waving him off and not feeling at all guilty for keeping his money when the visit was going to be absolutely free. After he's all done here, surely his uncle will come pick him up.

He hasn't been in the waiting room ten minutes before he's getting called in. _Shit._ "Dean Winchester?" a pretty woman in black scrubs calls his name and although he doesn't want to follow her to the chair of _death,_ he does so anyway because he doesn't remember the last time he's had a cleaning. It's not like John cared enough about him to take him to the dentist twice a year like he's supposed to, after his mom left- all dentist and doctors appointments were a thing of the past.

The first thing that happens is Dean get's x-rays of his teeth, then he's guided into a small room with a single chair for him to sit on and it makes him nervous just looking at it. "Damn it-" he sighs heavily before carefully sitting down on it.

Eventually there's a knock on the door and Derek Hale walks in with the biggest smile and he gulps. "Nervous?" The guy sits down on his stool and rolls it right up to where he's half laying down. 

"Yea-" Dean nods, hands clasped together over his crotch for no reason at all other than not knowing where else to put them. "I'm scared-" he then admits when he sees the guy pulling out a tray of all sorts of sharp instruments he doesn't want anywhere inside his mouth. The chair goes lower and lower, and soon he's laying completely flat on his back. "Really scared man-" the soft whine escapes his nervous bitten lips.

Derek pats him on the shoulder, all the teen can see over the bright overhead light shining in his eyes is a face mask and medical glasses. "It'll be over in no time-" he gets things ready and explains, "I'm going to use this drill first-" demonstrating so that the teen can see what's going to happen in his mouth.

"Too bad it's not the sexy kind of drilli-" 

"Hmm?" Derek hums because he didn't quite catch that over the sound of his drill and the teen shakes his head, it wasn't important. "I'm going to get started, try not to move-" he nods and opens his mouth wide, completely terrified. "Just going to take a look at your teeth first-"

"Ah-ah-" Dean whimpers, though nothing is really being done just yet and it's done out of fear. Sitting in a dental chair always freaked him out and it's the reason why he doesn't visit the dentist as often as he really should. "Ah-"

Derek laughs softly, "You've got the cutest incisors-" his gloved fingers feel around his teeth. "Sure you're not a vampire?" he jokes, Dean closes his eyes so he won't roll them- what a lame joke. 

Dean's a few minutes into the cleaning when he realizes that it's actually not bad at all, the drill feels funny on his teeth but it's more of a buzzing sensation. He keeps his eyes open the entire time, looking up at the ceiling but his eyes drift off to the side once in a while. The guy had the prettiest hazel eyes, almost as pretty as Sam's.

"Fluoride-" Derek mumbles as he now is polishing his teeth with some kind of electronic tooth brush. "Don't spit until I tell you-" he smiles, handing him a cup and some paper towels. Again Dean wants to make a joke, but doesn't. "Go ahead and spit-" the order comes after a few minutes and Dean turns away a little bit because he's embarrassed to let this man see him spitting into a cup.

After the dentist comes in to check his teeth, he gets the terrible news that he's got Seventeen cavities and it's almost enough to make him cry because he has to come back here in two days. While he waits for Derek to come back with his appointment card, he dials Bobby with no luck and he's about to try again but that's when the guy walks in.

"Here you go-" he hands the teen a small goody bag. 

"Candy-" Dean says with a smile until he looks inside and frowns. "Tooth paste and a tooth brush-" the disappointment is thick in his tone.

"And mouthwash, quite the party huh?" Derek smiles, handing him the appointment card. "I'll see you in two days, I'll be helping the dentist." 

Dean nods, "Okay-" and gets up slowly, clearly being dramatic because it was _just_ a cleaning but he can taste blood in his mouth- mostly because he's never flossed once in his life. "I don't have a ride, my step dad got called into work as soon as we got here and my uncle isn't picking up the phone-" 

Derek smiles, "Hmm- well, if you don't mind being my assistant for the rest of the day I'll take you home." the teen hesitates. "You'd really be helping me out, two of our assistants called in sick-" the twinkle in the mans eyes has him agreeing. "You're a life saver, Dean Winchester-"

"What do I gotta do-" Dean stands there with his hands behind his back as the guy explains everything to him. Eventually he's handed a paper gown, a face mask and medical glasses and soon he's running around the office like he's worked there for a while. Mostly he was just running small errands around the office and cleaning until Derek invites him to assist him in a cleaning. "Uh but I don't know anything-"

"Just sit next to me and watch-" the guy winks. 

Dean ended up helping Derek quite a lot, mostly watching him work on patients but he was able to get up close and personal. He got to pass him certain tools and hand out goody bags to his patients once they were done with their treatment which was his favorite part. 

"How do you feel?" Derek asks after a long hard day of work. They're both putting on their jackets before heading out to the Camaro in the parking out. 

"I'm tired-" Dean's stomach growls angrily, "-and hungry." then slides into the nice car as soon as the doors unlock. 

Before dropping Dean off at his uncles, Derek stops at a drive thru fast food place. The line at the drive thru was long but when it's their turn to order he asks, "What do you want?" 

Dean looks at the menu, "Fries and a milkshake-" and answers before he refocuses on his phone.

"That all?" Derek laughs, "Don't you want a burger or something-" the look of worry on the teens face has him wondering. "Don't you eat?" the curiosity is peeked because now that he thinks about it the teen didn't eat much at the diner. 

Dean worries his bottom lip. "I can't eat that much-" his tone alone is enough to have Derek ordering exactly what he wanted, no questions asked. 

They eat in silence in the Camaro with Dean occasionally fumbling with the radio. He'd managed to eat half his fries, mostly focusing on his drink of choice. He could feel the guys eyes studying him every now and then. Eventually Derek pulls out of the parking space and drives him home. On the way he asked, "You okay?" the teen hums. "I noticed you didn't eat much at the diner either-"

"I have-" he hesitates before shaking his head.

"What is it?" Derek asks, really pushing for an answer but it doesn't sound like the guys being nosy, It seems like he cares.

"I have an eating disorder-" he looks over at the older man, "-I'm getting better though. Well, some days are easier than others-"

Derek smiles kindly, "Happy to heart that-" and that's the end of the conversation before he's dropped off by the wooden fence at Bobby's. "See you around-" he winks before speeding down the dirt road, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

Dean looks over at Castiel's house and sees that his car is there so he runs over there at the speed of lightning and storms in. Castiel quickly turns around, clearly surprised to see him- it looked like he was doing the dishes before the teen had barged in.

"Hey-" before he knows what's happening, the teen grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him close, planting a kiss on him. Castiel pulls away, "What are you doing-"

"I need you-" he says breathlessly. 

Castiel nods eagerly and Dean jumps on him, wrapping his legs around the older mans waist. "Mmmm-" he moans after getting a taste the teens sweet tasting tongue, "What did you eat-" and drops him on the neatly made bed after the short walk down the hall to his bedroom.

"Milkshake-" Dean rushes the word out, his eyes fixed on the older man hovering above him and his legs fall open to let him wedge in between them comfortably.

"You smell nice-" Castiel comments, giving his neck a kiss. "-kitten." They're making out in bed for a while, still clothed when Dean asks him something he wasn't expecting.

"Remember when you said you'd let me sleep with someone-"

"Let me guess, the dental hygienist?" 

Dean licks his bottom lip slowly, "If he fucked me, you'd be jealous-" and reaches up to suck on Castiel's bottom lip briefly, the act makes a loud sucking noise in the silent room. "Wouldn't you?" Castiel grips his hair possessively in warning and he winces at the burn, "Bet you'd like to watch him do it too, you freak-" and just to egg him on, "Do you think he'd wanna fuck me?" his voice is soft and innocent. 

Castiel's nostrils flare up in anger or desire, it's hard to tell. "You want him to fuck you?" he tugs on the short brown hair. "Do you?" Dean nods, it was only meant to make him jealous- he's not really thinking of sleeping with Derek Hale. Dean just wants to mentally torture him a bit, he deserved it. "Do you want _me_ to fuck you?" there's a short pause. "Because I could-"

Dean bites his bottom lip, responding with a "Yes please-" in the softest voice. 

Castiel makes quick work of taking off his own clothes, then Dean's. After putting on a condom, he spits on Dean's pink hole- as soon as he feels it pushing inside, he moans loudly- they both do. Soon a comfortable but quick pace is set, making the headboard knock into the wall every single time he punches into the teens ass.

"Mmmughhh-" Dean moans, his hands are running up and down Castiel's back- since he was still pissed, he scratched him up pretty good while getting fucked. Mostly because he knew the guy hated being marked in any kind of way. Though it didn't seem to work, it seemed to turn him on even more and he was getting pounded a lot rougher than he was used to. "Ughh fuck, Cas-" he winces, "-ah-ah-hurts."

Castiel buries his face in the teens sweaty neck, "Harder-" he orders, so Dean digs his nails into his flesh, dragging them down his sweat slicked skin. "Fuck-" his teeth sink into the teens salty flesh, sucking as his orgasm hits and leaving a large, very defined hickie.

Dean happens to come then too, "Ugh, coming-" and winces as his own orgasm hits in a hot mixture of sharp pain and pleasure deep within his body. "Ugh-" he moans weakly after a while, he's never going to get used to the feeling of his asshole twitching around a dick. 

"Mmm-" Castiel hums, finally rolling off the teens sticky body. "I love you-" he looks over at Dean, his hand mindlessly grabs onto his thigh in a possessive way. "Think he could fuck you like that?"

Dean sighs heavily, still twitching in some parts of his body. "Probably-" Castiel doesn't seem to have liked that comment because he doesn't say anything, just gets up from his bed and leaves the room. _Oops.._ "I was kidding!" he shouts just as he'd come back into the room.

Castiel throws a towel at him. "I bet you were." his tone is cold, which hurts since they just had sex.

Dean's slowly sitting up, "I bet he'd be nicer to me than you're being right now-" and instantly regrets saying that, he was always such a girl about everything after a hard fucking.

"Is that right?" Castiel pushes him back onto the bed, "I can be sweet baby-" Dean gulps as the older man starts to clean him off with his tongue. He flinches because Castiel is going lower, kissing his plush thighs before sucking him down entirely.

"Ughhhh-" he moans, brows knit together. Dean's holding himself up by his elbows, looking down at his step father doing his thing. "Ahhh-" he cries out, it was extremely sensitive. "Ughhhh-mmmm-" his lip is caught between his teeth.

"Think I'm still being mean?" he murmurs before sucking him down again.

"Ughhhh-" Dean's legs wraps around the mans neck now, keeping him there. "Ughhh-Daddy-" suddenly Castiel stops sucking him and he's positioning himself to fuck him once more. "Oh fuck-" he groans. "Again?"

Castiel nods, "No one can fuck you like I can-" and pushes into the already loosened hole, slamming all the way in and the teen actually squeals for the first time since he was thirteen. "You got that?" 

Dean nods frantically, biting his lip- as soon as he starts getting pounded, his eyes roll back in his head briefly before they fixate and focus on blue eyes above him. "I love you daddy-" he says in complete and utter submission. "Ughh, daddy-" his hands rub up and down the older mans chest with need.

"I know kitten-" the sound of skin slapping skin was loud in the bedroom. Dean kept making the most lovely noises he's ever heard. "Sweet boy- you're fucking mine." Castiel caresses the boys bottom lip before pushing it into his mouth. "Suck it-"

Dean wraps his pink lips around the finger and sucks on it gently, eyes determined to stay open and maintain eye contact. By the time it's over, Dean and Castiel are sweaty messes on the bed. The sheets under their exhausted bodies were wet with sweat and the room was hot with the heavy smell of sex.

"Fuck-" Dean whimpers eventually, "There isn't more, is there?" 

"I'm done baby-" 

"Good, because I feel like you just got me pregnant." and he says that seriously, "Whew-" before sitting up, wiping his sweat dripping face with the towel he'd been thrown earlier.

Castiel chuckles, "It's a shame that can't be true-" 

"Friggin' perv-" Dean hands him the towel before standing up and looking around the drawers for fresh clothes. 

Castiel wipes his before standing up too, "Sleeping over?" Dean nods and he hugs him from behind. "You'd be the prettiest girl baby-" Castiel whispers into his ear, kissing behind his neck softly. "I wish you could get pregnant with my baby-" the worse are so softly whispered that it makes the teen do a whole body shiver.

Dean whimpers, "Stop that-" and pulls away before grabbing a clean shirt from one of the drawers. "I still hate you-" he walks to the bathroom with the older man trailing behind him, still completely nude.

His smile is cocky, victorious even. "You didn't hate me five minutes ago-"

Dean starts the shower before getting in, "You know I'm needy, that's all it was-" and begins to lather up his body. "Now get out, I need some privacy-" he flicks some of the suds his way and Castiel leaves the bathroom before he gets the chance to hit him in the eyes. Dean stays in the shower almost an hour, just thinking about everything that's happened recently. When he finally steps out, he towel dries his short hair and his eyes begin to admire his step fathers things on the bathroom counter.

Once he's dried off, he puts on a pair of Castie's briefs and another shirt that fits him way too big. Dean picks up the older man's deodorant and uses it, then picks up his cologne just to smell it. His eyes begin to well up with tears and for a short moment he lets himself break down and cry over what Castiel did with Meg. When he's calmed down enough, he splashes water on his face and pats himself dry with a different towel that was hanging up on one of the hooks on the wall. 

Dean inhales the scent of the towel and hugs it tightly. _Cas.._ he puts it back before he starts crying again and goes to the kitchen.

His stomach had been growling for a while now and he's surprised to see that dinner waiting for him on the table, "What's all this?" he asks, looking around at the candles next to their meal and wine glasses. "Tryna liquor me up?-" his eyes are fixed on the two wine glasses. 

"Of course not-" Castiel grabs a can of soda from the fridge and pours it into the teens glass.

"Thanks-" Dean sits down, quickly reaches for the potatoes and corn, serving himself. "Really good-" he says with a mouth full. Castiel watches him eat and eventually he can't stand it, "Quit it-" he wipes his mouth with a napkin after his plate is already cleared.

"I can't look at you now?" Castiel smiles, reaching over for his hand but Dean pulls away. 

"Sorry I just-" he shakes his head, "I'm still not over what you did." 

"But we-" Castiel is confused, "-we just had sex. I'm not understanding-"

Dean blinks away the tears that threaten to fall down his face, "Look, Cas-I love you okay?" Castiel nods. "I'm just-" he groans, not finishing his sentence. "Can't we just eat?"

"This is about Derek isn't it?" his tone is clearly a jealous one. 

Dean looks like he might just lose it, "Oh my God! This isn't about Derek!" they're silent for a moment. "You cheated on me- you didn't just kiss someone, you fucked-" Castiel nods somberly, looking down at his empty plate. "I want to get passed it but It hurts. How would you feel if I had sex with Derek?"

Castiel looks at him in the eye, thinking about it. "I would be devastated-" 

"Well there you go-" Dean's clearly annoyed. "When I mess up, it's cause I don't know any better sometimes. What's your excuse?" he's visibly looks upset. "Aren't your hormones supposed to be settled or whatever by now?" he's getting angrier. "You're almost friggin' forty!"

Castiel winces at the mention of how old he is, "I know that." the teen gets up and goes to the couch in hopes of ending this conversation. He follows, sitting down next to him. "Guess you don't want to take that cabin trip now-"

Dean looks over at him, "I still wanna go-" the television was now on, but low enough so that they could still speak to each other.

"I'll book it in the morning before I go to work." the silence between them is awkward so eventually he asks, "What are your plans tomorrow?"

Dean shrugs, flipping through the channels. "Nothin'-" he shuts the television off after not finding anything good. "I helped Derek out today-" he looks at Castiel again, "-Bobby didn't give me a ride, he did."

Castiel nods, clearly still jealous but he's biting his tongue. "Hmm-"

"Wish you didn't fuck her-" Dean suddenly says, looking down at his hands. Castiel pulls him onto his lap, holding him like a baby. "I hate her." Castiel nods, rocking him a little bit. "Fuck-" Dean clings onto him and begins to cry. 

"Shh-" Castiel rocks him slowly, his hand rubbing up and down his back. "I'll do anything to make you happy, anything-" when the teen in his arms won't stop crying- it makes him cry too. "Baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you-" the guilt he felt never really left, but with his love crying this hard, it just helped to bring it to the surface.

After a while he assumes Dean has fallen asleep because he's no longer crying and he hasn't moved either so he picks the teen up, carrying him all the way to the bed. He'd changed out the sheets and freshened up the room while Dean had been in the shower, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to use the bed to sleep on. As soon as they're in bed, under the covers- Dean rolls over to Castiel's side and uses his chest as a pillow, draping his leg over his body. 

"Goodnight baby-" he whispers into the teens hair and apologizes "So sorry-" once again before closing his eyes to fall asleep.

In the morning, Castiel wakes up first and gets their cabin booked for the weekend- after talking to Bobby of course, he'd been a little apprehensive about the trip but Dean really did need a mini vacation after everything he's been through. So Bobby agreed after some convincing and he'd done as Dean had mentioned, he invited Bobby but he really had a lot more business these days and was unable to tag along. The plan worked. 

Castiel's making breakfast when Dean walks in, looking hung over even though he didn't drink. "Ugh-" he groans, sitting down at the table. He's a little unsure of how to approach him today, they've been fighting about his lapse in judgement with Meg for days and now this Derek guy. 

Castiel places a plate of eggs and toast in front of him, "Eat baby-" Dean nods, digging in right then. "Your dentist appointment was moved to late this afternoon-" 

"Shit-" he curses anxiously because he was supposed to have two days to mentally prepare himself. "You gonna stay there with me this time?" 

Castiel nods, taking a seat at the table. "Of course, I'll get out of work early-" Dean's quiet but he knows it's because he's nervous. "You'll be fine baby-" he reaches for the teens hand and this time it wasn't rejected. "I booked the cabin for us, called Bobby too." Dean looks at him, "He's okay with it-"

Dean smiles with a small nod before he resumes eating. 

"Alright baby-" Castiel gets up, kissing the top of his head before saying goodbye for the day. "I have to get to work, you can stay here while I'm gone-" Dean nods, waving him off. 

Late in the afternoon Castiel comes home to pick up Dean and they head over to the dentist office. The day flew by before Dean finds himself sitting in the dental chair, prepped and ready to get his seventeen cavities filled in one go. The waiting seems to be the worst part until he sees the dentist come in, he's preparing his tools and he sees four large injections on the silver tray at his side. 

"Four?" Dean swallows dryly and the dentist nods, resumes discussing the plan of treatment with one of his assistants. "Can Derek come in here?" everyone ignores him until he repeats it much louder the second time around. They hesitate but finally one of the assistants goes to grab him from the other room, luckily he wasn't with a patient.

"What's the matter Dean?" Derek walks in, smile beaming at him. 

"Can you stay?" the look of terror on his face has him agreeing to stay and soon he's putting on a paper gown and a face mask. 

"Open your mouth-" Derek instructs when he refuses to open wide for the dentist, the guy's large hairy hand is on his shoulder so he opens up. As soon as the needle goes into his gums- he begins to whimper uncontrollably. Again everyone ignores him until tears start streaming down his face, no one noticed or they pretended not to notice until Derek speaks up. "Heyy-" he talks softly next to his hear. "You're okay, the worst part is over-" 

Dean won't calm down despite being completely numb so Derek holds his hand the whole time. After ten minutes his tears have stopped but he still makes a whimper every now and then. 

"We're all done here-" the dentist comments right before all the noises and drilling sounds die down. "You did good-" the man lies to him with a pat on the shoulder before exiting the room and everyone knows it was a lie. Next the assistants leave and now Derek and Dean are all alone in the room.

"Derek smiles sympathetically, handing him a few brown paper towels so he can wipe his tear streaked face. After standing up he says, "Here's some advice, don't let years go by without visiting the dentist." the teen nods and he's helped out of the chair and back to the waiting room. "We'll keep in touch, yeah?"

Dean tries to smile but it comes out weird, making the man laugh before going back to work. "Cas-" he whines loudly when his eyes meet Castiel's in the waiting room. His eyes are watering up again and he's completely aware that he's being a big baby right now but he hates the dentist and doesn't care if he's a bigger wuss than the five year old staring at him.

Castiel takes him to McDonald's as if he could eat something. They're standing in life before he finally mumbles, "Can't eat you asshole-" then a hand goes up to touch the side of his face when a sudden rush of pain shoots up and down his jaw.

"Get a milkshake or something-"

Dean's looking at the menu, "Wan' one of those-" and points to a frozen coffee drink on the menu. Castiel nods, getting the same drink along with a burger and fries. While Castiel eats, Dean just watches him in misery and sips on the blended drink which he actually really did like. "This is pretty good-" he smiles eventually, mostly to make things less awkward on his end. 

"Sorry you can't eat baby-" Castiel gets up briefly from their table to throw his trash away. When he sits back down he just has to ask, "We're back together-" their eyes meet. "Aren't we?"

Dean shakes his head, secretly he's hoping to get it on with Derek behind Castiel's back before they get together again. "Not ready yet-" 

Castiel nods, understanding. "I won't pressure you to take me back. Anyway-" he sighs, "-we leave for our trip tomorrow morning, think you'll be up for it?"

Dean nods because he really does want to go on the trip and hopes he'll be able to pull through it after today. After a few more awkward minutes of conversation about the trip, they leave and take their coffee drinks with them. 

Dean's sitting on the couch sulking that night since his mouth was still pretty numb and sore. Bobby had gone into town for some groceries so he had to go answer the door when someone knocked on it, he'd assumed it was a client of his uncles or something but he really wasn't expecting Derek at all- which is who he saw when he opened the door.

His eyebrows raise in surprise and doesn't say anything, not that he really could anyway.

"Can I talk to you?" Derek asks, rubbing the back of his neck briefly, not meeting his eyes. The teen nods, opening the door wide enough to let him through. They stand behind the closed door when he speaks, "I know this is none of my business-" Dean's brows knit together in confusion. "-you're single right?" he nods again as he's unable talk clearly yet, butterflies are swimming in his stomach because he thinks this guy is going to confess some sort of undying love for him which he's aware is completely ridiculous.

"That concerns me-" Derek's face is serious. "-if you're single, who gave you that?" his hazel eyes focus on the side of his neck. 

Dean rubs the side of his neck, "Hmm?" he mumbles in confusion.

"You have a huge hickey-" Derek states. "Who gave it to you?" Dean doesn't answer but his eyes seem to panic by looking around, alerting the guy even more. "Is someone abusing you?" Dean takes a step back when the man comes closer, "Is it your step dad?" 

Dean gulps and prepares himself to answer clearly over the numbness in his jaw, "No-"

Derek nods, not believing him for a second. "Dean, if someone is hurting you-" he sighs, "-I want you to know that you can trust me." 

After a few seconds Dean comes up with a lie on the spot, "S'girl-" he swallows thickly, "-at the diner where I worked, kinda gave her my v card." and smiles weirdly in hopes of convincing him of the lie.

Derek laughs, "Ohh!" running a hand over his face. "Pretty wild girl to give you a hickey like that-" his eyes focus on the love bite once more but really just happy that no one was abusing this kid.

He shrugs, "Yea- she is." the older man is about to leave when he says, "Derek-" their eyes meet. "Never mind-" 

"Tell me-" he smiles and his teeth practically twinkle from the whiteness of them.

"I lied-" he swallows, "A girl didn't give me the hickey." and looks down. "It was a guy-" their eyes meet again. 

"So you're-" Derek processes the information. "Well, that's okay-" he smiles and Dean is surprised. "Kinda like guys too-" he winks before letting himself out with the teen following behind down, down the porch steps, all the way to the Camaro parked by the wooden fence. 

"Maybe we can hang out some time-" Dean says, huffing and puffing as he struggles to keep up with him as they walked.

Derek turns around to face him, his body towering over the teenage boy. "Nothing can happen between us, you know that right?" the words are said firmly. "You're underage."

"Right-" Dean looks away briefly, his eyes catch Castiel outside who was taking out the trash in the darkness of the night and he was already staring at them. If the man wasn't illuminated by vast brightness of his porch light maybe he would have never seen him doing so. _Fuck._ "I understand-" he forces a smile.

Derek lightly punches him on the shoulder before getting into his car and driving off. His eyes look over but his step father was already inside the home and the porch light had been shut off.

He's fully expecting Castiel to call him any minute now to yell at him or come over and do it to his face but he doesn't. Dean's sitting on the porch steps with a freshly lit cigarette when bright white headlights start to appear down the road and he quickly stomps it out because his uncle doesn't know he still lights up once in a while.

Bobby's truck pulls up soon enough and he shouts through the open window, "Are ya too handicapped to help me with the groceries?"

Dean smiles, "Shut up-" and quickly goes to help his uncle bring all the bags inside the house. 

That night Bobby takes care of Dean and makes him an easy dinner of mashed potatoes for him to indulge in, pain free after his hard day at the dentist. The bearded man is all smiles as his nephew gushes all about how terrible the dentist is and how he's never going back there again which he quickly withdraws that statement when he realizes that he wants to see Derek again. 

Dean is loyal to Castiel, no matter what happened between them but now there's this other man in the picture and he wants to explore it. He's never really been with another man aside from _Cas._

But it's wrong, so wrong. 

The teens head hits the pillow late that night after watching a movie with his uncle on the couch and his thoughts are somewhere between blue and _hazel._


	59. Love Nest

Both Dean and Castiel are quietly making the drive to their awaiting cabin very early in the morning. While Castiel drove, Dean kept thinking about it- why is it that whenever one goes on a trip, you leave early? It's always before the sun comes up. The teen shakes his head over that thought with his step father looking over at him occasionally in the silence of the vehicle. 

The only sound was the soft blowing that came from the vents. It was cold and they both enjoyed the change in colors of the leaves, some the trees were dead with the warning that winter was soon to come and all Dean can think now is what the hell are they even going to do in the cabin for the next few days. If it wasn't so cold, they could get up to hiking or hunting out doors, though it's not Castiel's thing.

Since they can't go hiking or hunting and they certainly aren't back together yet- what's left? Sure, they're still having sex but he'd like to think it's just because he's extremely needy, so is Castiel. It's purely a body thing, taking of each others needs. It's what he's been telling himself every night when he lies awake, but it's more than that. 

Castiel tries to make conversation every now and then with the distracted teen to his right just going _hmm_ in response every time. It was clear to him that Dean's thoughts were elsewhere, maybe with a certain dental hygienist. He was totally jealous and admitted it to himself the previous night when he saw them talking outside Bobby's. 

"So-" the older man says loudly and it causes the teen to forcefully snap out of his daydream long enough to look at him for just a moment before his eyes refocus outside the car window. The whole ride he'd been staring out of it with his forehead pressed against the glass. "You don't want to be here with me, do you?"

"I do, Cas-" Dean answers softly, his eyes looking at the scenery that is blurring past at about fifty miles per hour.

"Then, what's wrong?" Castiel looks over at him, but only for a quick second because he's driving and the roads are wet.

The view was beautiful, all the orange, yellow and brown trees they were passing by- but it wasn't great when Dean was acting like this. He wishes they could forget about everything just for a few days so they can enjoy this trip and maybe just take advantage of the time they have alone, without Bobby. This cabin trip is a real chance to act like a couple and Castiel is hoping that it won't go to waste.

"You fucked someone else." Dean states, "That's what's wrong." and his tone is soft, sad even.

Castiel grips the steering wheel tighter, "Then cheat on me with Derek. I know you want to-" and looks over to his right briftly. "Don't you?"

Dean shrugs, "Maybe I do-" and that's the last thing they say until they reach their destination.

After arriving at the cabin, Castiel pulls the teen into his arms and green eyes look up at him curiously, "Go ahead, leave me for Derek-" he lets go so that he can get started on unloading the car of their belongings.

"What?" Dean steps back.

"Leave me for Derek-" Castiel smiles, crossing his arms at his chest- their things can wait, he wants to tease the teen for a while first.

"You're fucking crazy-" Dean says before attempting to walk away from him but Castiel grabs onto him, man handling him into a forced embrace. "Let go-" he struggles against the older mans strong grasp on him.

"If you want Derek so bad, I'll let him have you." he whispers in his ear hotly, "Isn't he still in college?" Dean nods, not getting his point. "He's going to be a dentist right?" he nods again. "Well then, his schedule is going to be just as packed as mine is baby and I know how needy you can be-" he starts kissing on the teens neck. 

Dean whimpers, struggling to get away and making several little grunts as he tries to free himself.

"Trust me baby, he won't be there to satisfy you-" he nibbles on the teens earlobe, "-his career is just getting started, so unless you want to be nothing more than his boy toy I suggest you forget about him." Castiel lets go of him right then and opens the cars truck to grab their things.

Dean's pissed until he looks down and sees that he's hard in his jeans, gritting out the words "I hate you-" through his teeth before grabbing the last few bags from the open trunk which he uses to cover up the tent in his jeans.

Once they're inside and everything had been brought in, Castiel sighs and lets himself fall on the couch. The teen sits on the other side of the couch, kicking off his boots and Castiel says nothing about how he's not wearing socks. It's no surprise to him that he often wears his boots with no socks and for a while, he wasn't wearing any underwear either. In his defense it was because he got so hot, not that he cared since it made things easier for him when they had sex. 

When the teen reaches over to the coffee table to grab his nearly empty soda can, he catches a glimpse of his backside to sadly find that he is wearing boxers. It makes him miss how often they used to have sex, so often that Dean went without most days. 

Dean softly comments, "This time you get your own room-" out of nowhere.

It pisses him off because he wanted to share the bed with him, regardless of their relationship status. "Shut up-" Castiel groans, "Coming here was a bad idea." the teen doesn't say anything, just plays with the lid on his soda. "You don't even love me anymore-" he shakes his head before getting up and going to the kitchen to make a few sandwiches, knowing he must be starved.

They'd gotten to the cabin hours ago and spent the entire time on the couch watching television in awkward silence. The sounds of their breathing and the leather couch crinkling under their legs every time they moves was enough to make them both secretly want to have sex but neither would admit it. Castiel was prideful and Dean was ashamed for still wanting to be a _daddies boy_ for his step father.

While Castiel makes dinner, Dean grabs his bag and goes to one of the empty rooms in the cabin to bunker down in for the night. He unpacked a little bit, but left everything in his duffel since it was a short trip. Dean's been in the room for a while, a long while because when he looks up at the window he can see that the sun has gone down behind the sheer curtains. It's pretty scary, being out here all alone in the middle of the woods but he's not so much a wuss that he's got to go climb into Castiel's bed.

His stomach growls once more and he has no other choice but to go find out why those damn sandwiches never got delivered to his room. The kitchen was empty, his eyes look around to find the soft amber glow of a fire outside the window that he quickly follows outside. Castiel was standing over the grill, plating a few hot dogs before looking up to met his gaze.

Blue eyes look away and Castiel takes a sip of his beer, Dean couldn't help but swallow his arousal because even though his step father scared the crap out of him when he pissed- the guy was pretty fucking sexy too, especially when pissed. _Daddy.._ that's what he wants right now more than anything.

Dean says, "What happened to the sandwiches-" before taking a seat on one of the two lawn chairs they brought with them. Castiel looks over his shoulder briefly, not saying a word. "Ah-" he nods, "-you forgot the mayo, can't make a decent sandwich without mayo. Am I right?" his soft laughter dies in the crackling fiery silence of the night.

The teen hesitates for a moment but eventually ends up standing up and hugging the older man from behind. "I still love you-" Castiel nods, taking another sip from his cold beer. "It just hurts." 

Once their both seated side by side on the lawn chairs, Dean asks "Ketchup?"

"Forgot." Castiel says, taking almost half the hot dog in his mouth as he takes a large bite.

Dean shrugs with a smile, "That's okay-" his eyes catch the movement and all he can think is that he wants his cock in the mans mouth.

They eat in silence until Castiel grabs a new beer from the ice chest by his feet and drops it between his legs accidentally. "I wouldn't do that-" Dean warns him but the guy doesn't listen and cracks it open anyway. "Hahaha!" he laughs as the older man gets sprayed in the face with beer.

Castiel glares at him before aiming it at him, now Dean gets wet. 

"Oh yea-" Dean teases, grabbing another can of soda and shaking it before cracking it open in his general direction. Soon they're both soaked and feeling uncomfortable in their clothes. 

Castiel's panting, tossing the can aside. "You're a nightmare-" and he's not angry, he's horny and wants to fuck the teen for being a little shit. 

"Right back at you-" Dean wipes his face with the sleeve of his unbuttoned flannel shirt he was wearing over a black shirt.

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Castiel goes back inside to clean himself up. His guilt is slowly rising and he doesn't know why, he's not the one who slept with someone else. At least when he cheated he kept it above the belt. "Both friggin' whores-" and he's referring to himself and his step father.

Once he's done in the shower, Dean goes into the bathroom to clean up and he takes his sweet time in there too. The warm water hitting his skin feels amazing, so amazing that he gets hard though he doesn't intend on rubbing one out there. It had been a while since he's watched porn and tonight he's in the mood, especially since he won't be giving any to Castiel tonight. 

Dean's laying on his bed wearing nothing but boxers, it's only them two in the cabin so he's able to walk around half naked. He's been watching porn for almost half an hour when there's a knock on his door, Castiel peeks inside. "Yea-" he looks up at the man.

"Need anything before I turn in?" 

"Nah-" Dean says, "But you can chill in here for a while-" Castiel nods and closes the door behind him, unsure of what to do now. "Sit over here you fuckin' nerd-" Castiel smiles before sitting down next to him on the bed.

When he notices whats on the teens laptop he becomes flustered. "Oh what, we can't watch porn together? If i'm old enough to get fucked, I'm old enough to watch-"

Castiel's biting the skin on the side of his thumb while they watch a long video together. It was a man and a woman, fucking doggy style. He'd been so wrapped up in the video that he hadn't noticed when Dean started to jack off right next to him. "Why are you-" he gulps, watching the movements of his hand.

"Got horny-" Dean says casually, a breathy tone to his voice.

"Why do you watch straight porn?" Castiel asks, refocusing his eyes on the screen. 

"Cause I don't wanna watch two hairy dudes doin' it-" Dean's jacking off like he isn't trying to come, his hand moves lazily and slowly over his dick. Eventually Castiel's hand ghosts over his bare thigh, giving it a squeeze and he slaps it away. "You don't get to touch-"

"Why the hell not-" he sounds pissed. "I paid for the education you're about to get and I pay for the clothes this body wears-" 

Dean lays back against the pillow, getting comfortable and continues to masturbate. His eyes are fixed on the older mans, "You like this?" he asks seriously. Castiel nods, his hand is reaching to grab him once again and he smacks it away again. "Don't touch me-"

Castiel swallows, "Please-" and begs softly. "I just want-"

"I said no-" Dean states with a hint of a smile because he loves to torture the guy. "But I can be convinced-"

"Please-" the older man complains, "Please let me-" and he's now laying on his side next to the teen, his hand roaming the teens squeaky clean young body.

Dean clicks his tongue in disapproval, "I told you to beg, not to bitch." and that only gets Castiel more fired up. 

"I could just fuck you if I really wanted to-" Castiel pulls him closer to his side of the bed aggressively, but since he's not a rapist- he has to let the teen agree to it. "What do you want me to do?" he gives into his game.

Dean pushes him away and thinks about it, "Hmm-" loving the look of impatience on the guys face. "Let me tie you up." he says eventually.

Castiel laughs because he thinks he's joking, "Seriously? Why-" 

"Let me worry about that-" Dean stands up fully nude and walks around the room, looking for something to tie him up with. Eventually he finds the handcuffs he'd stolen from Castiel the last time he'd used them on him and finds some rope under the kitchen sink. "We're gonna use these-"

Castiel gets pissed, "I thought I lost those-" and takes them from the teens hand.

"Sticky fingers-" Dean smiles. "Not the first time I steal from you-"

"I should spank you-" his tone is one of extreme arousal. "Wait, what did you steal from me?" he sits up in the bed, blue eyes looking up at the standing teen.

Dean smiles, shrugging. "I may have gone into your wallet a few times-" their eyes meet. "That piss you off?"

Castiel yanks him towards the bed by his wrist and gives him a hard spank. "Very-" 

Dean sucks in a shaky breath, "You know-" and licks his pink lips. "-getting spanked doesn't bother me, I'm used to it." and that only makes the only man wince because he _knows_ what the teens father has done to him. 

His eyes catch a glimpse of the rose in Dean's hand, "That's disgusting, no way you're using that on-" but the look on his face has him giving in. Why not let him have some control for once, it's well deserved after all.

Dean shoves Castiel roughly on the bed, already working on tying his ankles to the bedposts- making it extremely tight so it causes him some pain. "That good?" he asks after hearing a whimper coming out of the older mans mouth. Next he cuffs his wrists together above his head, "Looks good-" and checks to make sure they're on correctly because the last thing he wants is for him to get free.

"What are you going to do-" Castiel's voice is shaky and he loves it. "Don't cut me, or burn me-"

Dean laughs, "I'm not a serial killer-" Castiel glares. "-well maybe sometimes." he winks. "You just might be my first victim-"

"Don't say things like that-" Castiel looks away nervously.

"You're really scared of me-" Dean snorts, "-wuss." and slaps the older man's meaty thigh. 

"Hey-" Castiel focuses on him intently and his cock springs to attention. Dean slaps him again and he moans loudly over the thick silence in the room.

"Whore-" Dean laughs before doing it yet again, closer to his dick and his step father moans every single time. "Ew you freak-" Castiel's nostrils flare up like he's both angry and turned on. "What would you do if you weren't tied up?" he wonders.

Castiel yanks on his restraints, "I'd fuck the shit out of you-"

"I'm so scared-" Dean smiles and climbs up on top of the older man, planting his bare ass right up against his pubic bone-" Castiel's erect cock is tapping against those plump ass cheeks. 

"Just let me fuck you-" Castiel groans, his eyes run up and down every inch of the teens naked flesh above him. "Please baby-" Dean's hands wrap around his neck and squeeze gently, when he lets go Castiel moans louder. "Please-"

Dean's cold hands start to rub up and down his chest, rubbing over his nipples causing the older man to suck in a sharp breath and when he exhales it almost sounds like a growl. This had started out as torture but Dean's getting so turned on, he leans over the mans face- planting a wet filthy kiss on his mouth.

"Mmmmmm-" Castiel moans, reaching up as much as he can to kiss him back. "Dean, please- baby-" he's panting. 

"Asshole-" the teen chokes him again for two seconds. He's horny but he's still pissed about what he did. "I hate you." he lies, they both know it because it sounded like he said _I love you_ , even if it wasn't what was said.

Castiel groans loudly, tugging at the restraints. "Then we'll have hate sex-" he blinks furiously, wiggling his fingers. Dean spits into his hand and reaches behind him, lubing him up. Once he's slippery enough, he holds his cock steady before slowly lowering himself onto it. "Oh God-" he moans, "Fuck you're so tight-" 

Dean bites back a whimper, he never liked being on top like this- it hurt worse than doggy or missionary but he didn't want the man to be freed just yet. Suddenly Castiel's hips slam upwards and he cries out in pain. "Damn it Cas!" he slaps the man under him in anger but Castiel loved it. "You like that?" he nods so he does it again.

"Ugghhh-" Castiel groans and he begins thrusting upwards on the teens ass coming down on him- Dean didn't even have to do any of the work. He must have yanked on the cuffs a little too hard because they broke off his wrists and instantly wraps his arms around the teen- rolling them over so now Dean's on his back. 

"Shit-" Dean grips the sheets under him so he could hold on as he gets plowed into.

"You're in trouble now baby-" Castiel begins kissing on his neck and slamming into him with not an ounce of mercy. 

"Ugh-ugh-" Dean moans sweetly under him, "-oh fuck-it hurts-"

"Then why are you moaning-" Castiel keeps slamming into him, finding that sweet spot by accident and Dean's eyes go back in his head. 

"Oh my-fuck-ugh-" Dean wants to close his legs but Castiel's holding him wide open, his knees are pressing into the mattress. "Mmm-mm-"

"So fucking pretty-" Castiel growls, the teens ass was making wet sloshing sounds now- he'd already come inside of it a minute ago but he's still going hard and he won't stop until Dean comes. "Fucking pretty-"

Dean begins to make the softest whimpers and sighs, small cries that get caught in his throat and he knows the teen is close to orgasm. "Daddy-"

"What baby-" Castiel blinks away the sweat from his eyes, "What do you wanna tell daddy-"

"Gonna come-" Dean's eyes widen momentarily, "Oh fuck-" and he shuts them tightly as he comes hard all over his stomach- his asshole twitching around the thick cock in his ass. "Ughhhhhh-" his head hits the pillow.

"Love you-" Castiel gives him a peck on the forehead before pulling out slowly and falling next to him on the bed. "How was that?" he asks breathlessly. Dean nods, catching his breath. "It wasn't really hate sex but-"

"Don't hate you-" Dean looks over at him. "I hate what you did but I don't hate you." Castiel pulls him close so he can hold him against his chest. "But you're still an asshole-" and before he knows it, he's out for the night.

While he sleeps, he does manage to feel the occasional kiss to his forehead and fingers in his hair. Eventually he feels weight shifting on the bed and his eyes open briefly to see his step fathers form in his blurred vision leaving the bedroom and he's out again. Dean's out until the next morning, or what he thinks is morning but quickly learns that he'd slept well into the afternoon.

"Where's breakfast?" he takes a seat at the small table and yawns obnoxiously- his hair sticking up in all directions.

Castiel checks his watch, "It's almost two-" and he stands up to whip the teen some eggs anyway because he loved him. 

"Oops-" Dean says sarcastically, his eyes are closed- until the pan starts sizzling he opens his eyes in interest. "Scramble them up really good, I don't like em' runny-"

"Thank God you're cute or I wouldn't be able to stand you." Castiel comments from where he stands by the small stove. 

"You love me-" Dean says mindlessly and puts on his step fathers glasses before opening up the book he was reading to find out what it's about. When the plate of eggs is set in front of him he sets the book aside and digs in. "Mm-"

"Give me those back-" he sits down, laughing. "Wait, you can't see can you?" he'd suspected for a while since the teen stole his glasses from time to time.

Dean looks up at him, "I can see-" the man stares at him so he confesses, "Alright I need glasses-" 

"Aww baby-" Castiel coos, "I'll take you to get some of your own before school starts." he admires the teen. "You're so cute in glasses-"

Dean ignores the comment and eats his food, blushing the entire time. After he's finished his breakfast, they had decided on going on a walk through the woods right by their cabin like they did last time with Bobby. Though this time, Castiel hopes it will be a romantic stroll through the trees, clearly desperate to get things back the way they were before Meg's visit. 

"Hurry up!" Dean's got his hands on his hips, waiting outside for his step father to exit the cabin so they can go on their walk. "We're losin' daylight!" 

"I'm coming-" Castiel exits the cabin and as soon as Dean sees him, he starts laughing. "What?" 

Dean gives him a once over, "How gay can you get-" his eyes focus on the fanny pack that was around his step fathers waist. "Where the hell did you even get that thing-" he covers his mouth, following the man into the woods.

"It's Gucci-" Castiel says, embarrassed. 

"What the fuck is Gucci-" Dean's still laughing at him, checking out the fanny pack here and there. Castiel ignores him. After a while he says, "Here, put this in your purse."and hands him his cell phone.

Castiel takes the device and puts it in his fanny pack. "I know you want one too-"

"Shut up no I don't-" Dean walks ahead of him because yeah he kind of does want one. He's tired of carrying everything in his pockets. "Preppy ass-" Castiel hears him say and it makes him laugh. "Hurry your Gucci ass-" Dean looks over his shoulder.

Castiel walks faster in order to catch up. They walk a while longer and he says, "It's beautiful out here-" Dean nods in agreement. It was beautiful, the trees were orange and yellow- the sky was bright blue and the weather was extremely nice today. Not too hot, not too cold. The suns going down and they've been walking almost two hours so Castiel suggests they head back. 

They're halfway back to the cabin when Dean starts rubbing up and down his arms. "Here-" Castiel takes off his sweater and the teen takes it gratefully. "So," he looks down at Dean, "Are we back together?"

Dean laughs, looking up at the older man. "You keep asking me that-" they're silent for a moment. "We'll get back together when I feel like it-"

Castiel nods, "You're going to sleep with Derek, aren't you." it wasn't a question.

Dean shrugs, loving the look of tortured jealousy on the mans face. Derek would never hook up with him, he told him so already- he's underage. Of course nothing is going to happen with him, but he'll let Castiel believe that it can happen- it's good revenge. 

What Castiel says next surprises him, he wasn't expecting it. "-then I don't think we should be having sex." He looks over at Dean, "Okay?" he nods in agreement but he knows Castiel won't keep up with that statement anyway and gives it a week at most before the man caves.

They reach the cabin and Dean sits down on a lawn chair while Castiel goes inside to grab the beef patties for their burgers tonight. When he comes out with the pack of burgers and buns, Dean stands up- "Let the master make these-" and takes the items from his hands.

"Go ahead-" Castiel sits down on the chair and watches the teen get the fire on the grill started. After all, the view was nice.

Soon enough they're eating their burgers, plain of course because Castiel forgot to buy mayo and ketchup so their meal was free of any toppings. Though it was still good nonetheless, Dean made the best beef burgers and they didn't need anything on them to make them great. Dean gets up and goes inside to grab another soda, bringing his step father a beer as well.

Castiel catches it mid air and Dean sits back down. They're eyes focus on the star filled sky above, "So pretty, ain't it-" 

"It is-" Castiel agrees though he wasn't really looking up at the sky, he was looking at the teenager sitting my his side. They must have stayed outside a long time because they heard thunder in the distance and soon black clouds were rolling in, covering up the billions of stars over their heads. "Let's go inside-" he stands up, stretching out his back and Dean follows him indoors. 

"Feel like a movie?" Dean asks, "Since we can't have sex now-"

Castiel swallows, "Sure-" then he looks at Dean again. "Why can't we have sex?"

Dean laughs, "You got amnesia or somethin'-" and makes his way to living room, sitting down on the couch. "Cause you can't fuck without actin' like a chick after-"

Castiel realizes his fanny pack was still around his waist so he excuses himself to his bedroom for a bit. Once in his bedroom, he pulls out his phone and remembers he's got Dean's phone too. Castiel unlocks it because he's figured out that the pass code to his phone was his birthday. What he finds has his heart racing- there's text from Derek and reads it against his better judgement. 

**I was thinking about it and yeah, I'd like to hang out after all. I do like you.**

His nostrils flare in jealously instantly and despair because he can't do anything about this. Especially after what he did, he betrayed Dean in the most horrible way by sleeping with someone else. A woman who he hates- a woman he blames for the issues he's dealing with now. Castiel deletes the text otherwise Dean would know he had read it, Derek would text him again anyways. He's sure of it.

Castiel changes into something more comfortable- sweatpants and a shirt- before going out to join the teenager on the couch for a movie. "Here-" he tosses the phone onto his lap.

Dean grabs it and quickly looks through his texts to see if he's got anything. After pocketing it he grabs the remote and starts flipping through the channels. "Hmm-" he hums, "No shit, they're showin' The Blair Witch- he smiles like the dork he secretly is. "We're watchin' this-"

"Sure bab-" Castiel stops himself from calling him baby. "Sure-" and they watch the movie in silence, he thinks it's completely boring since they don't even know the witch but the teen next to him is loving it. "Are you cold?" he asks because he was.

Dean nods, "Actually yea-" Castiel's about to pull him close to keep him warm but the teen gets up. "I'm gonna get a blanket, don't change the channel-" when he returns he plops back down on the couch, covering himself up. "Yes you can get under the blanket too, stop with the puppy dog face-" he laughs.

"Thanks-" Castiel says somberly, snuggling himself under the blanket. When the people in movie start screaming, that's when the teen slowly starts inching closer and closer to him, he hadn't noticed it sooner because he'd already gotten into the movie about halfway in. "You okay?" he asks when the teen is almost on top of his lap.

"Yea-" Dean whispers, they hadn't heard the thunder outside, or the rain since the volume on the television was too loud- so when the power went out, it scared Dean pretty terribly. "Cas!" he shouts even though the guy is right there.

"Hang on-" Castiel doesn't laugh because the teen actually sounds terrified and he's not a complete ass. He gets up and fumbles around, using his cell phone as a flashlight until he gets a candle going in the kitchen. "We have light-" he says proudly, looking over his shoulder to see the teens pale face in the living room.

Dean's on the couch huddled under the thick blanket, not amused. "Power better come back soon-" he checks his phone under the blanket, and Castiel could tell because there was a blue glow coming from underneath. "Bring some chips over here-" he orders.

Castiel obeys and tosses him a closed bag of chips which the teen quickly opens. 

"Sit down-" he orders and again Castiel obeys. "I'm eating cause we can't have sex-" the teen crunches away mindlessly in the dark. "Gonna get fat because of you-"

"I don't care why you're eating, as long as you are-" he smiles, Dean rolls his eyes. 

Eventually the bag of chips is forgotten and ends up spilling on the floor after they had fallen asleep in each others arms. Castiel wakes up when he hears Dean making noises in his sleep, like he was having a nightmare of some sort so he pulls him in closer, rubbing up and down his back. Saying, "Shh-" occasionally. 

"No-" Dean mumbles sleepily against his chest. "Please stop-" and now he's starting to sound really freightened.

The look on his face is extremely distressed so he tries to shake him awake gently. "Dean-" but Dean starts crying in his arms. "Dean-" he shakes him more roughly now to get him to wake up. The teen opens his eyes, looking confused. "You were having a nightmare-"

"Yea-" Dean wipes his eyes. "I get those-"

This was news to Castiel, "Since when?"

"We don't live together anymore, you don't see everything that happens with me-" Dean says sadly, looking up at him.

Castiel feels guilty instantly, his hand is still rubbing up and down his back. "Soon, if you want to-" Dean nods, he does want to and he wants to forgive him too. "Go to sleep, I'll watch over you-" 

Somehow Dean wakes up in his bed in the morning and he's alone- from the blaring television in the living room he could tell the power was back on. His head hits the pillow, from the soft light peeking in through the curtains, he could tell it was still early morning. Dean's almost fallen asleep again when the door opens, it was Castiel coming in with two coffee mugs in hand.

"Brought you some coffee-" 

"I'm gonna sleep some more-" Dean yawns like a sleepy kitten underneath the covers that were up to his chin.

Castiel can't help but smile, "Go ahead, I'll be here-" he sets down the teens mug on the old wooden nightstand before taking his own coffee mug to the empty side of the bed. "I love you baby-" he brushes his fingers into his messy short hair. 

"Hmm-" Dean hums as he fades away. Castiel drinks his coffee in bed, occasionally looking over at him sleeping soundly. Dean wakes up an hour and a half later, "Had another nightmare-" he mumbles suddenly.

Castiel leans over a little, "About?"

Dean shrugs, "Dad-" their eyes meet. "He was chasing me so he could hit me-"

"Poor thing-" Castiel pulls him close to his body and Dean allows it. "Dream that often?" he nods. "I'm sorry he hurt you-" they've never really talked about the abuse so far.

"I know he hit you too-" Dean admits, not breaking eye contact. Castiel looks away because his eyes watered instantly, he'd never admitted to anyone that John Winchester had abused him too. After all these years, it seemed like a distant dream he'd woken from. "I heard you tellin' Bobby-" Dean swallows, "-that he raped you and beat you up."

Castiel covers his face the second he begins to cry and it shocked both of them because Castiel isn't one to break down like this. But it had been _years,_ keeping this secret under lock and key- it finally had to come out.

"Cas-" Dean holds onto him tighter, "I wanna hear about it-" Castiel shakes his head. "Please, you gotta talk about it. Don't want you to end up like me, all these issues and shit. It'll eat you alive-" 

Castiel wipes his face dry with the blanket, nodding in agreement. "I never told anyone-" he shrugs. "-I didn't want to admit that I got-" he just can't say it.

"I know-" Dean nods, "I get it, I never wanted to tell anyone either." 

"He raped me-" Castiel admits, finally making eye contact again. Both their eyes tear up in total understanding because they've been through the same thing. "I wanted to leave but I-I couldn't leave you behind because-" he inhales a deep breath. "I worried about what he might do to you when you got older."

"He was already touchin' me when he met you." Dean says calmly, "The night mom left, that's when he got into bed with me and hugged me-" he's growing uncomfortable while Castiel listens to him. "At first it was just cuddles-" he shrugs, "-then he'd start kissin' me, my cheek-" he shrugs again. "-he'd grab my thighs, my butt, basically everywhere he could touch." he laughs softly in misery.

Castiel nods, "Did he ever-" 

Dean nods sadly, "Yea- he tried it once but he couldn't-" he clears his throat. "-didn't fit." Castiel wipes a stray tear from Dean's face. "But you, he really-"

"Yeah-" he smiles weakly. "He did, many times." 

"Fuck I'm sorry-" Dean holds onto him even tighter. "Sorry you stayed with that piece of shit-"

"Well, I'm not-" Castiel smiles, "I got you out of it." it dawns on him that they aren't together right now. "Had you-"

"Shut up, you have me-" Dean's voice waivers. "I just need time, heal or whatever-"

"I know." Castiel buries his nose in the teens hair, inhaling his sweet scent. _Coconuts._ "I love you."

"Love you too-" Dean looks up again, his chin resting on the mans chest. "Didn't know my dad hurt you like that-"

Castiel shrugs, "I was in denial about it a long time. I didn't think I was getting abused-"

Dean speaks softly, "I didn't think I was getting abused either." 

Something happens between them, a moment of deep connection and understanding and they end up kissing. It's not leading anywhere, it's just to show each other that they know they pain they have been through- together and apart.

The kiss was soft and lingering, and somewhat healing on both ends. The abuse had been a secret kept for so long, from each other and themselves. Neither one of them wanted to admit that they had been hurt in such a way and some of it was innocence, not knowing it was abuse to begin with.

Especially Dean, regardless of how terrible a father John had been- Dean looked up to him in a way. It was more of an odd fascination- his father had a cool car, a cool jacket, cool music and cool boots. Boots he'd hoped to fill one day and now he's glad he'll never wear them ever again. Those boots ended up in the trash along with everything else his father owned. 

Aside from all the pain John had brought him, it brought him one good thing and that one good thing was Castiel.

This man was like an angel that flew down from heaven to rescue him from the pit of hell he used to call home. The angel who continues to save him time and time again regardless of what happens between them.

Sure, Castiel hurt him and a part of him hates him for it but he's learning that even _angels_ make mistakes. Angels can disappoint you just like humans often do.

Castiel breaks the kiss, "Promise I'll redeem myself-" 

"You better-" Dean smiles against his lips before kissing him again.


	60. Black Cat

The first thing Castiel does when they're back from their cabin trip is go to work the very next morning so Dean is left alone to mope around his uncles house. He must have helped Bobby for at least a few hours during the day with an old truck that needed repairs. After that, he goes next door and lets himself inside the home to clean up a bit. After all, it was his _job._

His step father is only doing him a favor by letting him work at his home by being his _housekeeper._ Castiel always did this, swooped in to rescue Dean and make things easier for him- it's somewhat comforting that he's got someone on his corner.

Once the house is as clean as he can manage to get it without becoming a chick- he leaves, locking the door behind him. The day is chilly and overcast, like it usually had been the past several weeks as Autumn was rolling in slowly. Winter was something that he wasn't looking forward to because it was going to be a rough one according to his uncle.

Dean's taking his time walking down the dirt road and on a whim, deciding to head down even further to see if he can find Derek's house. His hands are stuffed in his jeans pockets as he passes Bobby's house, all the way until he comes across an even older farmhouse that he'd never quite noticed before.

The outside of the home was covered in soot in some places like it had been burned burned in some kind of fire. It was a surprise that it was still standing, almost questioning if anyone really lived there but the shiny new Camaro parked up front lets him know this was the place he was looking for.

The teen stomps loudly up the porch steps and calls out, "Hello-" right before knocking on the old front door. It doesn't take long before the tall, dark and handsome man is walking up to the screen door. 

The older man says, "Hey-" a little too casually and flashes him a smile through the barrier between them.

Dean looks around, "I know I'm not one to judge man, but you really livin' here?" his boot kicks the old floorboards of the porch. "Even my place is better than this shit hole-"

Derek nods with a loud laugh, not taking any offense. "This place belonged to my parents-" and opens the door, walking out to the porch to stand in front of the teen. "I'm living here while I fix it up. I plan on selling it-"

Dean looks around again, "Some kinda fire happen here?" the older man becomes very uncomfortable and he knew this because the guy nods, not answering his question. "Sorry, I shouldn't ask-"

Derek shrugs,"You're curious, it's fine-" before inviting him in and gives him the grand tour of the place. 

Dean was surprised by the interior of the home, it was well kept and nice, definitely nicer than the exterior had been. Although he was really curious about the condition of the house, he knew not to ask any more questions. Maybe his parents had died, leaving the house to him and the last thing he wanted to do was upset the guy.

The older man offers him a soda, which he does accept and drinks it, only because it was canned. He would never trust anything served to him in an opened container by a stranger. Even if the stranger happened to be hot as hell and the cause of the wet dream he had the night before.

After a few awkward silent moments Derek says, "My car needs an oil change, you mind?" The teen thinks about it a little too long. "I'll pay you-" After the offer of money was on the table he agreed to the unexpected job.

Once they've made their way outdoors, Derek pops the hood of the Camaro and Dean gets to work. Both of their hands and clothing get dirty in the process but neither cared since it was nothing a hot shower couldn't fix. _Or a cold one._ Dean tries to ignore the looks the older man is giving him, basically feeling hazel eyes burning into him and pretends to not notice.

Dean's wipes his hands on an old rag after the work is completed, double checking to make sure he's done everything correctly this time or this guy won't be getting to work on time, if at all.

"All done-" he smiles proudly, balling up the rag and tossing it aside on the ground before leaning against the car to relax.

Derek leans against the car as well, his hand resting a little to close to the teens. Once Dean notices how close they are to touching, he places it on top of the teens oil stained hand. It worried him that the hand was ice cold to the touch, but it didn't bring too much concern since he didn't mention it.

Dean's brows knit together in confusion, "Huh-" and looks up to make eye contact with hazel eyes that would remind anyone of summertime.

The older man sighs, removing hand hand and shoving them both into his jeans pockets to make sure they stay to himself. "I like you-" he admits, looking up at the darkening sky. They'd been together a few hours by now, the sun was almost completely gone to allow dark storm cloud to roll by overhead. 

Dean looks up at the sky too, realizing that Castiel will be home any time soon if he wasn't there already that is. Luckily he doesn't drive this far out so he wouldn't spot them talking anyway. _But still.._

He says,"I'm too young-" even though he doesn't really care about that since he's with a much older guy already. Or he was-he will be-he's fully intending to get back with Castiel eventually. He's just making him suffer for a while first, right? Is that all he's doing to Castiel?

Derek nods in agreement and for a long while there's a heavy silence in the air, until the sun goes down completely, that's when he turns to face the teen, "Can I kiss you?" his words are whispered in the darkness of the night that wraps around them both.

Dean's beyond tempted and beyond curious so he says, "Yes, please-" against every bone in his body screaming _don't do it._ He licks his lips as the taller man steps closer and fingers brush into his short hair, suddenly it's a reminder that it will be time for a haircut soon. His eyes close at the touch and says, "Derek-" nervously. 

All too soon, lips are pressing softly against each other. The kiss is shy and nervous as if this were their first kiss every, but it's not and they both know it. Still, butterflies are swimming around inside them both, banging around against ribs to be freed. 

All Dean can think about is what Castiel did with Meg and it eggs him on. "Derek-" he whispers softly, giving his bottom lip a quick lick before diving back in. 

Derek breaks the kiss with a conflicted gruff, "I like you-" his fingers run along the teens jawline and it has him batting his eyelashes. "You're sweet-" 

Dean takes a step forward until their bodies press together and strong arms wrap around his body. Secretly only loving this because he misses how much affection Castiel gives him on occasion, when he's got the time for it. He's only letting himself be seduced because he's feeling extremely needy while working through the pain of his betrayal. 

It's different, the way Derek is kissing him. It's sweet and gentle, his kisses are so soft against his lips. They kiss as they slowly make their way to Derek's bedroom, which of course Dean's never seen before so he pulls away, scanning every inch of the room before letting himself be kissed again. It's not long before they're standing by the foot of the bed and Dean's shirt comes off first, then Derek's. 

The older man breaks the kiss once the teen in his arms starts to shiver, "You're shaking-" his voice is soft and his face is full of concern. "I'm not forcing you-" he lifts the teens chin up so their eyes can meet. "-we don't have to do anything." 

Dean smiles sadly, eyes welling up with tears. "I sorta have a boyfriend-" a tear falls right then just as he happened to blink. 

Derek nods, "The older guy?"

"Yea-" he closes his eyes when Derek's thumb brushes away the stray tear. "He cheated on me so I broke up with him-" the mans eyes go wide in surprise right then but only for a second. "I'm just feelin' really needy and hurt right now-" their eyes meet again. "I'd only be using you if we did somethin'-"

He smiles, "I can take care of myself but thanks for the warning-" and kisses the young teen again, softly. They both moan quietly against each others lips because it felt good, so good that Dean's letting himself lay back against the unfamiliar bed. Derek soon follows, crawling over him, holding himself up by his strong arms over the teens body so as to not crush him. "Your lips are so soft-" 

Dean takes in a deep breath because their privates are now pressing against each other, even if though they had their jeans on the pressure was satisfying. The guy seems to think he's a virgin by how gentle and sweet he's being, not that he minds at all.

When Derek starts pressing soft kisses to his neck that's when Dean moans, "Mmughh-" and his legs involuntarily wrap around the mans waist on instict. Soon Derek is grinding into him hard enough that they both have an orgasm after a while of dry humping.

They hadn't intended on it but it happened since neither one of them had stopped things from escalating. What Dean will take to the grave about this encounter is that he was thinking about his step father the entire time. 

"Was that okay?" Derek asks softly, still peppering kisses on his neck as they come down from the natural high that had been achieved. The teens body underneath his is still giving a few involuntary twitches.

Dean just nods in response even though his guilt is now giving him a stomach ache, the kind that has him thinking he should find a bathroom sooner rather than later. A bathroom that is not in this guys house because _gross,_ he's done enough damage for one night. 

"I gotta go-" he gets up, blinking away the head rush as he pulls on his oil stained shirt. 

"Wait-" Derek gets up and grabs him by the wrist. "Are you mad at me or something?"

Dean looks up at him, "No-" then looks away. "I still love him-"

Derek lets go of the teens wrist, "You mean the guy who cheated on you-" 

"I made a mistake, alright-" the words are spoken softly into the silent bedroom.

"A mistake-" Derek bites his lip, his eyes giving away only mere a hint of the hurt that he was feeling.

Dean's own eyes begin to water, "I'm hurting-" and shakes his head. "I told you, if we did somethin' I'd only be using you-"

They make eye contact and Derek smiles sadly, "You did-you're right, just wasn't expecting to-" they both look at the unmade bed. It's not like they had sex, but they shared something right there on that bed.

The anxious teen rushes out the words, "I gotta go-" because his stomach feels like it's about to give at any moment and the older man lets him go without saying another word.

Dean's stomach instantly felt better the second the walked out of that house, now all he's dreading is having to face his uncle and his step father since he hadn't been home for hours. As Bobby's house is getting closer and closer, the cellphone in his pocket is making him painfully aware of the many missed phones. 

Even though he'll be an adult in a few short months, the fact that he still might not have the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants haunts him since there's two over protective men ruling his life.

Dean sighs loudly as he stomps up the porch steps to find that his surroundings extremely quiet. After giving the darkened property a once over, he heads inside the home to find his dear uncle asleep on the couch with a knocked over beer can on the coffee time. Poor uncle Bobby, always drinking himself to sleep- someone should really help him out with that and he thinks he should.

As the teen guides his drunk uncle down the hallway to his bedroom, his thoughts are with Castiel and why the guy wasn't here to give him the third degree over not being home. Had Bobby even noticed he wasn't around? Was he just glad to have him out of the house? He can't help shake the feeling that sometimes he's just a burden to everyone around him since all he does is get into trouble.

It's not long before he's in the bathroom, stripping out of his disgusting clothes and stepping into the hot shower. The warm water hits his sore muscles and sticky skin, making him feel instantly. Though guilt doesn't wash away with bar soap so easily and it's a damn shame.

As he lathers up his body, Dean can't shake a certain thought that keeps swimming around in his mind. If he hadn't confronted Castiel about sleeping with Meg, would he have told him? Or would he have just kept it to himself? What else is Castiel keeping from him- he's kept his daughter a secret from him. What else doesn't he _know?_

Once he's squeaky clean, all these thoughts are chalked up to his _anxiety_ like his therapist says. 

Dean's drying off in front of the mirror when he notices a few small red marks on his neck. "Damn it-" he curses, getting a closer look at them and hopes that when Castiel sees him, he'll assume that he was the one who gave him the love bites from when they had sex at the cabin.

The day turned out to be extremely exhausted because of _reasons_ but he's not particularly happy about going to bed since he's got therapy early in the morning. His therapist is a nice woman but there's just some things that are so damn hard to talk to about. 

Once he's had a quick bite to eat after not eating since who knows when, Dean finds himself in bed and staring at the ceiling. For a long while he thinks about what happened, with Derek. It's not like he had sex with the guy but he feels just as guilty- he knows he can't keep doing this, going around kissing or fooling around with whomever just because he feels _curious-_ it has to stop.

Dean's so needy and so touch starved that he's willing to put himself in risky situations. It's an issue he has to discuss during therapy at some point, but first things first- working through his issues with food. His stomach gives an involuntary growl as his eyes drift shut and falls into a dreamless sleep until morning comes.

Dean is slowly getting himself dressed in one of those polo shirts that Castiel had gotten him and some khaki's. The only reason he chose to dress like his step fathers twin for today was because all of his jeans were in the wash, he'd rather be caught dead than wear something so dorky and nerdy. Hell, Dean would beat himself up if he could for this outfit.

"So, Dean-" the therapist smiles at him from where she sits on her chair in front of him.

Dean sighs, "I know, you wanna take about-"

"Your eating disorder, yes." She smiles, "By the way you can call me Jody-" and finally allows the teen to call her by her first name. "I think we're on a first name basis now."

Dean smiles because he hadn't known her name was Jody, somehow it actually went with her last name, which he knew to be Mills. So he tells Jody about his eating disorder, how he believes it all started back when he was thirteen years old when his step fathers friend had called him _big._ After a while, he was almost unable to continue his train of though because of he hurt he felt towards Meg. 

His mind replays the images of her wearing Castiel's shirt as she ate toast at his kitchen table without a care in the world. Like she didn't feel the slightest amount of guilt at what she had done to him. Tears sting his eyes which he wipes away quickly, the truth is dying to come out of him. The _real_ truth, the truth about his step father- that they have sex, that they are together. _Were.._ all of it, it wants to come out and it wants to come out now.

Jody says, "Dean?" 

Dean comes back to the present instantly, "Sorry-" and hugs himself. "I just really hate Meg-" 

"Because you think shes the cause of your problems?" The teen nods in agreement. "Sometimes an eating disorder isn't a result of something someone says or does to us, sometimes it happens, just because-" Dean looks up at her with a calm rage in his eyes, _it's all her fault._ "-you've been through abuse as well, physical and sexual-" her voice dies off, sensing a weird tension.

"So I hate food cause my dad touched me-" he snorts. "I don't know what any of this shit has to do with food-"

Jody smiles sadly, "It seems like the two can't be related but you'd be surprised. One person might overeat when they've experienced a trauma, others neglect their nutrition-"

Dean nods, "I guess-" and Jody asks what his father had done to him and she wanted to know details since he'd been extremely vague in previous sessions. He takes a deep breath before answering, "He'd get in bed with me and -" and hesitates before continuing. "-rub up against my butt, touch me-" he shrugs because it's so weird saying it out loud.

All the words are coming out funny, it doesn't sound right. He feels beyond stupid saying that his _daddy_ used to touch him in bad places and the regret of not saying something sooner is dawning on him. Maybe he should of told someone, a teacher, or Sam- anybody. The secret was hidden so well inside of him for so long that it scares the living hell out of him to finally _tell_ on John Winchester.

The man is dead but the terror he left instilled in his son is all too real, it's like his hand is cupped over his boys mouth from beyond the grave to prevent him from spilling the beans on the sins he allowed himself to indulge in. 

"I'm so sorry he did that-" Jody scribbles something down on her large notepad. "Was there ever any penetr-"

Dean states, "No-" firmly but his eyes are cast downwards to his boots in an odd shame. Jody doesn't seem to believe him because she's just watching him, expressionless. "Can I leave?" the question is asked suddenly while biting the skin on the side of his thumb and still not looking her in the eyes.

 _Something_ is there, Jody is sure of it, she struck something and she's going to get to the bottom of it all in order to help this boy. It's almost as if he wanted to talk about his problems with food and Meg as a stand alone subject, rather than anything having to do with his father and the abuse that occurred. 

"Of course-" she stands up, "Are you okay?"

Dean gets up and says, "Yea-" before exiting her office as quickly as possible, practically running out to the parking lot to meet Bobby in the truck where he had been waiting for him to finish up.

As soon as the chilly air hits him in the face, he doubles over and breathes in deeply. The trucks horn honks at him, causing him to look up and quickly makes a run for it even though there's absolutely no need to. He really just wants to get away from this place and not have to think about what happened to him. 

Bobby checks his watch when the passenger side door opens. "Ya were only in there half an hour-" it's the look on the teens face that has him starting the truck without saying another word. 

They end up at the diner as usual since there weren't many other places to eat in such a small town. They're sitting at their usual booth after ordering breakfast from Robin, who stuck around a few minutes to chat with them. Dean told her about his Cabin trip with his step father, though just between them, she knew it was more than just a trip with his step father. She was a good enough friend to keep such a big secret for him, even if they were in fact _broken up._

Bobby being the saint he was, still believed his nephew would get back together with the waitress. Told the boy that true love conquers all in the end, as if he'd forgotten all about his admission to thinking he might be gay. Bobby was old school, so of course he'd try to bleep that out of his memory even if he was supportive of anything that related to Dean Winchester. Can't blame the man for wanting Dean to give girls a whirl for a while while he's still deciding what he likes.

When they've got their food in front of them Bobby asks, "Therapy go well?" 

"Yea-" Dean replies softly, chewing on the straw of his milkshake- it wasn't even noon yet and he was indulging his sweet tooth. Why not, it's been a crappy few years for the Winchesters. 

Bobby's starting to worry that therapy might not be going well anymore and that his nephew will start acting out again but he's trying to calm himself. He's been doing good, one bumpy session here and there is no cause for concern but this is Dean Winchester- you never know what's going on in that pretty little head of his.

Their meal is eaten in silence and Bobby keeps giving the teen the weirdest looks because he's eating breakfast with a milkshake.

"That's not gonna go over well boy-" 

Dean looks down at his nearly empty plate and shake, "Oh well-" his tone aloof. 

He changes the subject, "Ya mind rakin' the leaves and choppin' some wood back at the house?" 

Dean pushes away his plate and starts chewing on the straw of his milkshake purely out of nerves, "Knee still bothering you Bobby?" his uncle nods and he smiles at the older man. "Sure, I'll get it done today-" it's the least he could do for the man who he wishes was his father over John freaking Winchester. "Anything else?" and he quickly regrets asking because there's a long list of chores waiting for him.

Back at home, Dean does as he'd been told- he's raking the leaves first, chopping wood will have to wait. Supposedly his uncle thinks that they're going to have a rough winter, he swears on it because his knee always acts up when harsh weather conditions are near. Even though it's ridiculous, he still humors the guy.

Dean's been outside raking leaves for a while when a sudden chill runs down his spine, making him look up from the different color leaves he was raking into a pile in front of him. His eyes look around fully expecting to see the ghost of his dad for some reason, but what he sees behind him surprises him a whole lot more. There was no ghost, no John Winchester, just a tiny black kitten looking up at him.

Dean's heart instantly melts, "Awww-" and he crouches down, "Where did you come from sweetheart-" the kitten squeaks in response. "Well, aren't you friggin' cute-" he looks around before scooping up the kitten into his arms. "Really shouldn't be outside when it's so cold-"

Once inside the house, Dean quickly looks around for a box while holding the small kitten like a newborn baby. It's not long before he's found an old box that was big enough to make into a temporary bed for the sweet thing. He folds a dish towel and places it in the box as a bed, then sets the box down on the floor- the kitten too.

The kitten sniffs the box before climbing inside, sitting down on the dish towel bed and it squeaks again. Apparently the kitten doesn't know how to meow yet and it makes Dean laugh before he picks her up, "Are you a boy or girl, hmm-" he turns the kitten over, "You're a girl-" he assumes because he doesn't really see much _there._ "What should I call you-" while thinking of a name, he takes a seat Indian style on the floor right in front of the box.

The kitten does it's best attempt to meow and it has the teen pressing a soft kiss to her forehead because he's already in love with his new pet. The first and only pet he's ever had in his life since John never let him have any pet and he didn't ask for one. Knowing him, the answer would have been no anyways. Eventually he settles for calling her, "Sweetheart-" and takes her to the couch with him for a nap. 

The chores are completely forgotten for the rest of the afternoon and eventually Bobby comes home from being in town all day and he's probably wondering why there were still leaves scattered all over the place.

No wood has been chopped either so he barges in, fully prepared to rip a new one into his nephew. "Dean! Why didn't ya do-" his eyes land on the picture before him on the couch. His nephew with a tiny little black thing in his arms. "Wut the hell have ya got there?" Bobby squints, trying to get a better look without having to come closer. It sort of looked like a bat of some sort.

Dean laughs, "I found a kitten-" he holds her up so his uncle could see her. 

Bobby makes a face, not because his nephew had a pet but because he didn't like _this_ pet. Something was weird about the kitten, it didn't look right- sure the little thing was adorable but, something was off about it. "Where'd ya find it?"

Dean sits up, snuggling the animal against his chest. "I was rakin' the leaves and I found her-" after a beat, "I get to keep her right?" and his tone sounds like a guilt trip for his uncle waiting to happen. "I never had a kitten before-"

Bobby takes a step back, "I never once seen a cat round' here-" the teen shrugs, making kissy noises at the thing. "Guess ya really want it-" he notices the box on the floor by his feet.

"Yea, named her sweetheart and everything-" Dean kisses his new pet on the forehead and it squeaks. "Isn't she cute?" he looks up at his uncle expectantly.

"If ya think so-" Bobby shrugs before heading out to the truck to bring in the groceries he'd bought in town. When he comes in again he says, "I want ya to finish up rakin' those leaves tomorrow-"

Dean rolls his eyes, "Alright alright. Leaves, chop wood-" he stands up and walks down the hall and continues reciting the list of chores sarcastically under his breath. "-take out the trash, oh and never do shit with my life but hang out with my family-"

The rest of the evening and all through dinner, the kitten won't leave the teens side which he didn't mind one bit. Dean was eating his meal while his beloved new pet sat on his lap, occasionally feeling it some of his food. Bobby just watches them interact and he's spooked, not because of the kitten itself but mostly because how on earth did this little thing end up way out here in the middle of nowhere.

Two days go by and the teen is completely smitten with that darn cat, which bothers Bobby severely. The animal looked like some kind of evil bat without wings and Dean loved her as she was. He was superstitious about the whole thing so he gave Castiel a ring, letting him know that Dean's got himself a weird pet. The way he explained it off made him laugh and Dean had overheard the whole conversation.

Dean was good at spying on what was being said around him, especially when he was the topic of conversation. Spying on his parents talking about him behind his back when he was a kid was where he had to get good at eavesdropping since they did it so secretly and he was always nosy. Now, all he spies on are the rare check ups his uncle and step dad engage in every once in a while. 

Even though the words the two adults exchange between themselves about him is a lot nicer that was his dad used to tell his mom, It still pissed him off that Castiel would answer the phone for Bobby and not him. The excuse he's always given is that he's always busy with work. That work is _hectic,_ even if it's true- the excuse makes him want to punch him in the nose again. Maybe he does have some anger problems, only _some._

Eventually he comes over to visit Bobby and of course to check on Dean. When Castiel walks into the house, he shakes the bearded man's hand before peeking inside the teens bedroom for a quick visit.

"Hey-" Dean looks up from where he lays on his bed, with the kitten sleeping on his chest. "Where'd she come from?" his eyes examine the small animal. 

"Found her outside-" he pets her softly, "Poor thing-" his green eyes scan the older mans outfit. _Scrubs,_ so he's not a total liar.

Castiel sits on the edge of the bed and when their eyes meet he apologizes, "Listen, I'm sorry I haven't been around the last few days-"

Dean shrugs, "We're broken up- you don't have to spend time with me anymore." and the words are spoken in such a way to guilt trip his step father. "Her name is sweetheart-" he changes the subject.

Castiel loves all things fluffy but this thing creeps him out too but he does not think it's the spirit of John Winchester like Bobby seems to think- the guy really should cut back on the alcohol. "What have you been doing?" the teen tells him he went to therapy in the morning. "Yeah? How'd that go?" he shrugs. "Anything else going on?"

Their eyes meet again and Dean hesitates before mentioning, "I fooled around with Derek-" instantly his step father looks away. "We kissed-" no response or reaction yet. "We sorta did it-" then blue eyes burn into him. "Well, we didn't have sex but I-we-"

Castiel is just looking at him with no emotion, "Alright-" 

"Thought you'd be kicking my ass right now-" that makes him laugh miserably. "-cause you could, if you wanted-"

"Stop-" Castiel rubs the back of his neck anxiously, "-I don't believe in violence so just drop it." the teen nods, kitten still in his arms. "Do you want to be with him?"

"God no-" Dean sits up, "I still love you, Cas-" their eyes meet again and there's the hint of tears in those blue eyes. "I want to get back together, I'm just hurt-" he looks down at his pet.

"I understand-" Castiel clears his throat, "For what it's worth, it's killing me-" they make eye contact again. "Not having you is killing me."

Dean smiles sadly, "Good-"

Castiel nods before getting up from the bed, "Are you going to see him again?" he shrugs. "If you want to be with him, go ahead- but just promise you'll come back to _me_ -" his voice cracks. "-tell me we're going to end up together-"

Dean takes a moment before responding with, "I promise-" and that's the end of the conversation before the door closes behind Castiel.

Now that Dean's restless, he goes to the basement to find a bigger cardboard box for his pet to sleep in with an old pillow for a bed. He's sitting on the edge of his bed, looking around the room, the sound of his pet lapping at fresh milk on a bowl is the only thing that's audible. It's too quiet and he can't sleep yet, his feelings are all jumbled up and mixed up, as usual.

Dean heads outside long after his uncle had gone to bed and he's standing by the wooden fence. To the left, there's Castiel and to the right, there's Derek- he ends up choosing Castiel. He's walking up the dirt road, up the porch steps and knocks on the door a little louder than usual in case the man was in his bedroom.

Castiel doesn't come to the door so he uses his key to let himself in, "Cas?" he calls out, peeking into the living room then sneaking a peek into the kitchen as well. He wasn't there so he decides to go to the bedroom. The bedroom door was wide open and he sees his step father nude, on the bed, touching himself- somehow it feels wrong to spy on the guy, especially now that they're broken up. 

His eyes can't look away because he wants nothing more than to just go over there and have sex with him again. It reminds him of the few times he used to spy on the guy touching himself way back before they had even kissed- he'd caught him a handful of times when he thought he was alone. What Castiel didn't know is that when there's a kid in the house, you never have privacy. 

Castiel's laying back on the bed, one leg bent in half as he strokes himself lazily- his eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open. Dean looks down at the growing bulge in his pants and knows he can't let this continue. "Cas-" he speaks up softly. The man's eyes fly open and he casually covers the lower half of his body with the bed sheet. "Sorry, I knocked but you didn't answer the door-"

Castiel nods, reaching for the remote to flip on the television like he wasn't just caught masturbating. "Why are you here?" his eyes are focused on the screen.

Dean steps into the bedroom now, hands shoved into his jeans pockets to hopefully hide his erection. "I miss you-" it was true, despite being hurt over what happened he still loved and missed the guy. 

Castiel finally looks up at him, "I miss you too-" the words are said softly. "Can I still kiss you?" his tone is insecure, but hopeful.

Dean comes closer, climbing onto the man's lap- his hands on his bare shoulders. Castiel's looking up into his eyes with desire written all over his face, large hands running under the teens shirt to feel skin- it makes his back arch at the touch. It's not long before he notices the small love bites on his neck and jealousy washes over him.

Dean makes the first move because someone had to and leans forward, pressing a shy kiss on his lips before the man wraps his arms possessively around him. "Cas-" his voice cracks.

Castiel's nostrils flare up in a mixture of anger and jealousy, "He give those to you?" eyes focused on the bruises on the teens neck.

Dean nods, "Yea-" there's no point in lying now since he already confessed to messing around with Derek. "I'm sorry-" his eyes are suddenly wet with tears, "I'm sorry-"

Castiel's own eyes well up with their own, "I'm sorry too-" he kisses the teens lips softly. "I never wanted to hurt you-"

"Think God is tryna tell us smethin'-" Dean blinks away the tears. "Lisa tried gettin' in my pants and Meg got into yours-"

Castiel chuckles softly, wiping his eyes. "That maybe we should be with someone our own age?" the teen nods. "It crossed my mind, but I don't care. I love you-"

Dean smiles, "I love you too-"

"I regret what happened with-" Castiel closes his eyes and Dean kisses him right then. "You really still love me?"

"Still kinda hate your guts but yea, I love you-" Dean kisses him again with tongue this time. "Make love to me-" and whispers against the older mans lips. "Please-"

"Are you sure-" Castiel asks but the teens already pulling off his shirt. "Dean-" 

"I'm sure-" he rolls over just long enough to push down his jeans until they're completely off his body along with his boxers. "Go slow-" the older man rolls over on top of him, spreading his knees apart carefully, then presses many kisses between those plush thighs. The sweetest sounds escape the teens lips as his skin gets devoured below, "Cas-" he begs, looking down. 

Castiel nods before reaching into the nightstand for lube and generously rubs some of the substance onto his cock. "I love you-" he says softly, pressing against the tight button of a hole.

"Agh-" Dean winces at the breech, "Shit-" because it always hurts at first. 

"I know it hurts-" Castiel peppers kisses all over his sweet face as he fucks into the tight heat slowly but deeply. 

Dean's looking up at him intensely, unable to blink and moans. "Ughh-" his hands are rubbing up and down the mans chest. "Mmughhh-"

"Ughh-" Castiel groans along with him, his cock is buried deep in the teens plush bottom. 

"Ugh, _Cas-"_ Dean's voice cracks, legs trembling and Castiel knows he's close but he doesn't speed up. " _Cas-"_ he whines loudly into the older mans neck before he comes hard. His hands are gripping the dark hair for dear life while Castiel comes inside of him with a frustrated groan.

Eventually Castiel whispers, "I love you-" into the teens sweaty hair. "-so much, I'm so sorry." he nods and listens to him speak without responding, at least not right away. "I mean it-" he hooks a finger underneath the teens chin to lightly force him to look up into his eyes. "I'm sorry and I'll spend the rest of my life making you feel loved because I do love you-" his blue eyes tear up. "I love you more than I love my own life-"

Dean blinks and a couple of tears fall which he quickly wipes away with the back of his hand, huffing "Don't be a chick-" as he gets up out of bed. If he laid there and listened to any more of his apologies he would just break down even more- unsure he'd be able to bring himself back. "I gotta go-" Dean picks up his jeans from the floor, stepping into and his eyes scan the floor for his shirt.

Castiel wipes his eyes when the teens back is turned while he gets dressed, "Will you come over tomorrow and help me around the house?" he changes the subject. "You haven't been helping me-" the teen turns around and resists the urge to give him a bitch face because he has been helping him.

Dean forces a smile, "I'll come over-" and they look at each other for a while before he says, "Goodnight Cas-" giving him another sad smile before walking away- down the hall and out the front door and back to Bobby's.

The following morning Dean is chopping wood while Bobby was in town at doctors appointment getting his bad knee looked at. He's wearing a thick brown jacket over his favorite Metallica shirt since the day was pushing below fifty degrees and he's a big baby when it comes to cold weather. After about an hour of chopping wood, he'd got a pretty large pile to his left so he decides to take a break.

Dean's sitting down drinking a root beer, he'd love the real thing but his uncle Bobby counts every beer in the fridge before leaving him alone in the house. His eyes scan the many trees out back as he sips on his carbonated drink, he's looking for something- eventually standing up and going towards the woods by himself. He's never been in there alone before, sure he's gone in- but it was to wait for Castiel to meet him.

After a while he decides against going in there and exploring just in case Bobby's stories of Big Foot lurking among the bare trees was true. Once his can is empty he crushes it with his boot and gets back to work. From where he's working, eventually he sees his step fathers car pull up next door so he tosses the axe he had been using for the past few hours on the dried grass.

He's about to hop over the fence to cross into Castiel's property but he gets cold feet, thinking it's not a good idea to go over. Of course, the guy loves him and will welcome him back with open arms at any time- it feels weird. 

"You coming?!"

Castiel's sudden yell rips him away from his thoughts- he'd been caught- the guy was stepping out of his car with two reusable grocery tote bags. _What a nerd._

"Yea!" Dean shouts back and climbs over the wooden fence as gracefully as he can manage which proved to be a lot harden with a pair of blue eyes watching him do it so he ends up stumbling a bit. Of course he plays it off like he wasn't embarrassed and simply dusts himself off before taking one of the reusable tote bags from his step father so he could bring it inside.

"Forgot how helpful you were when we lived together-" Castiel follows behind the teen, up the steps and into the home as he enjoys the view of his full and firm ass in those jeans he'd bought him. In fact, all the clothes Dean owed were purchased by him and it was all the teens style.

Dean ignores the comment and begins to put the food items away casually, "Where's this go?" he asks as he tries to find a place for a large tub of protein powder. He'd noticed the man had started working out again since he looked _bigger_ than usual.

Castiel takes the protein powder and shoves it into a random cabinet above the teens head. Everything is going smoothly until Dean takes out a box of condoms from the bottom of the bag- the last item. "And these-" he looks at it with jealousy, already assuming the value pack is going to be used with someone else. "-where do these go?"

Castiel smiles, "I'll take these-" 

Dean watches him disappear down the hall and into the bedroom, it didn't take a full minute before stomping his way over. "Who the fuck are you gonna use them with?" his arms are crossed at his chest as he confronts him.

"They're for us-" Castiel hides them in the nightstand. "-when we get back together." they're eyes meet and he can tell the teen doesn't buy it. "Who else would I have sex with? Meg isn't here for me to-" 

Dean closes his eyes at the mention of her stupid name, "Were you cheating on me?" he asks suddenly because the question has been on the back burner in his mind for a while now. "When we lived back at my dad's-" their eyes lock. "When I was really sick-" he swallows. "-were you cheating on me?"

Castiel's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, not expecting this type of question at all. "No, of course not-"

Dean cuts him off, "So you weren't sleeping with Meg the whole time then-" and he's aware of how insecure and girly he sounds at the moment as he asks such things.

"How could you think that-" Castiel takes a few steps closer to him, hoping to convey his point across without raising his voice because yes, the doubt hurts but it's to be expected after what he's done.

Dean takes a step back, eyes looking up at the older man in front of him- towering over him. "You were always at work and you came home so late-" he gulps, regretting ever saying such a thing but ever since he slept with Meg he can't help but wonder if he really was working late all those years. "And you're doing it again. How-How do I know you're not meeting up with her at a motel, or with someone else-"

Castiel looks away briefly before stepping closer, wrapping his arms around the teen. "I've never cheated on you-" Dean closes his eyes again at the memory. "You know what I mean-" the teen's bottom lip quivers, "Please don't cry-" 

Dean shrugs, "It hurts-" and looks up again, eyes full of tears. "I love you fucked her-" 

His own eyes well up with tears, "Is there anything I can do? To fix this, to fix us-"

Dean looks him in the eyes for a few seconds too long before blinking away the last of his tears, now looking down at his boots. 

"Baby?" Castiel hooks his finger underneath the teens chin once again to guide his gaze back up to meet his own. "I love you and I'll do anything to make you happy again-" he nods in agreement, not saying anything so he sighs in defeat. "I'll be here waiting for you, whenever you want to come by-" 

"I know, Cas-" his voice cracks before he gives him a small smile and walks out of the room. Castiel follows behind him until he walks out the front door, watching him walk all the way back to his uncles- until he disappears.

Dean's phone rings much later that night, startling him out of a deep sleep. After fumbling in the dark for his phone, he answers the call. "Yea?" his voice is raspy in the most adorable way.

"I just wanted to call because I missed you-" instantly Castiel is regrets dialing him so late. "I'm sorry I called-"

There's movement on Dean's end of the line, likely moving to sit up in bed so he doesn't fall asleep. "It's fine, Cas-" After a moment of silence he says, "So, what's on your mind?"

Castiel just wants to be with Dean again, together and to be able to live under the same roof again. "God-" he sighs heavily, "-I just miss you so much." the teen on the other line sniffles, "Do you think you'll ever forgive me?"

"Yea-" he answers a little too quickly, like he already had been wanting to get back together. "I just need time, ya know-" there's shifting around on his step fathers end of the line. "Cas?" he says, only because he can tell the older man is crying but trying to hide it and he knew it because he knew this mans ways like he knew just how many freckles he had on his face. 

"Sorry-" Castiel ends up hanging up the phone after not being on the line not two minutes.

Dean sighs, "Bye-" 


	61. All Things Holy

Dean was on his last day of Sunday school which turned out to be a fun two hours since it was more of a party taking place rather than the usual boring stuff. The teacher requested that every teenager in the class bring a food item to contribute to the party which put Dean in charge of chips and dip. Kevin brought the sodas, while the rest of the class brought candy or cookies.

The thing about this party was that parents were allowed to attend, which means Castiel showed up. Dean of course, blushed when the guy came in with a darn sheet cake and a couple of large pizzas for everybody to enjoy. Clearly he was showing off for the other parents, not that he minded at all. 

Dean blushed even more when Castiel kept eyeing _Claire,_ so he left Kevin alone and as casually as he can manage, he says "Stop looking at her-" while placing a few slices of pizza on a paper plate for himself and his friend. "Seriously-" he looks up into blue eyes. "-stop looking." 

Castiel agrees to keep his eyes from straying towards the blond and busies himself by distributing snacks and drinks to everyone in the class. He was doing a good job of keeping his eyes off Claire until she actually comes up to him, tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. She's all smiles and pretty hair, right there in front of him. 

"Yes?" his voice shakes.

"You gave everyone a slice of pizza but me-" her voice sounds soft and sweet.

"Sorry-" his hand trembles as he hands her a paper plate and a cup of soda. The blonde smiles politely before going back to her group of friends on the other side of the room.

Dean meets his eyes and smiles at him briefly before he's joining the rest of the adults in the room. As he makes conversation with the other parents, his eyes occasionally glance towards Dean, who was goofing off with that Kevin kid. It was nice to see him having fun and enjoying himself, hopefully they remain friends after doing their communion.

When the party is over, they're walking out of the church when his eyes find Claire again in the midst of people. She was walking down the steps with a woman that clearly wasn't his ex, Amelia. Maybe this girl wasn't his daughter after all and it was probably the best outcome for this situation since he'd given up on that dream a long time ago.

Another week goes by and it's Sunday once again, the day of Dean's communion and he couldn't be more nervous. He kept going to the bathroom every ten minutes to either look at himself or curse himself out for agreeing to doing such a thing that involved dressing up like this.

Castiel shouted "Dean!" from where he was waiting by the front door of Bobby's. "Let's go!" as soon as the anxious teen emerges from the bathroom looking handsome as ever, it's time to get going or they'd be late. Dean purposely slept in as an attempt to hopefully avoid having to go through with this.

Nerves were eating away at the teens resolve, causing him to say some pretty stupid things the whole drive to the church. Dean loved being the center of attention, but not while wearing a monkey suit and certainly not with a few dozen strangers watching him. They seemed to have arrived at church in no time at all, Castiel actually drove way above the speed limit just to get them there on time.

Castiel whispers the words, "You'll be fine, relax baby-" before gently pushing him in the direction he was supposed to be going. Dean wishes he could have gotten a good luck kiss or something, anything to help him calm down because his stomach is killing him right now. 

Bobby and Castiel find a place to sit right up front because he intended to take plenty of pictures of his love. Dean looked adorably handsome and Who knows if he'll see him dressed like this again. _If ever.._

Soon enough it's Dean's turn to walk up onto the alter to receive his blessing from the priest. The eucharist was bland but it was nice to have a sip of wine to wash it down with and just like that, he's done. The teen sighs in relief, quickly rushing down the alter to join his friend who had gone up before him. Once everyone had received their blessing, it was time for mass. 

The hour seemed to drag on for eternity but soon enough, it's over. When Castiel finds Dean in the crowd of church goers, he tells Bobby to wait by the exit while he grabs him so they can get going. He makes his way carefully as to not bump into anybody, with communion going on the church had been extra packed. 

He calls out, "Dean, ready to go?" from a few feet away and he's determined not to look in the blondes direction.

Dean desperately says, "Hell yes" and loosens his tie before yanking it off from around his neck.

Claire inches closer to them both, "Bye Dean-"

That's when Claire's mother comes over to them, "I'm sorry, we haven't met-" and extends her hand which Castiel does take, Dean too. "I'm Claire's mom, Donna-"

"Donna-" he repeats, somehow relieved because now he can stop obsessing over this girl.

Donna looks down at Claire, "I'm a sheriff, found this little one on a call. Mother was passed out in the house after shooting up-" the blonde looks up at Castiel and Dean with happy tears in her eyes. "I adopted her. Couldn't leave her with Amelia, not in those conditions-"

Castiel loses his breath, hunching over at the mention of his ex girlfriends name and Dean is quickly on him, "I'm fine-" he clears his throat. After one last look at his daughter, "I have to go-" it's completely rude to rush out like this, but he's got to get out before he loses it in front of a bunch of strangers.

"What's wrong with him?" Claire asks, confused. They're all watching Castiel push his way towards the crowd of people in order to reach the exit.

"Hold on-" Dean runs after his step father, pushing people out of his way as well so he can catch up to him. Before he can go through the large wooden double doors to exit, he grabs the mans arm to hold him back. "What's wrong?" he asks, eyebrows knit together in confusion. When Castiel looks over his head with tears in his eyes it's clear to him, "She's your daughter after all, isn't she?" Dean follows his gaze. "You're really her father-"

Castiel states seriously, "No Dean, I'm not. Jimmy was and I'm not jimmy anymore." His eyes refocus on his daughter in the distance. "Look how happy she is-" both of them watch her from afar, "I'm not going to ruin that-" 

Dean watches the man he loves walk away from his daughter and he can't help but feel sorry for them both. He hadn't gotten to know Claire at all through out his several weeks of Sunday school, but he could tell she was a good girl. Claire was nerdy, but had a flare to her personality. Kinda like _Cas._

Since Castiel took the car, Dean and Bobby ended up getting a ride from Donna and Claire. Surprisingly the ride home wasn't awkward, it was actually _nice._ Donna told some funny stories, well, they weren't funny but she had a way of talking that just made them seem funny. Dean liked Donna instantly, she was a single mom to Claire and the towns best sheriff. 

It's going to be such a shame that he won't be able to get to know them some more. Neither of them would, but maybe he just needed time for it to sink in, that he'd finally found his daughter after all these years. But what would it mean for their relationship?

Dinner that evening was silent while Bobby ate his take out burger and fries while the teen just looked down at his meal. He'd been sulking and moping around since getting home from the church, but knew better than to pry right then. Dean would come around and tell him what was bothering him when he was ready. _Hopefully._

"Go on to your room boy-" Bobby orders quietly since it didn't look like he was going to eat anyway.

Dean had been in his room, flipping through the pages of an old playboy he'd stolen from the gas station a while back when his phone pings with a message. It was from Castiel, simply asking him to come over if he could manage to get away. He types up a quick response of- _on my way-_ and he's off to see what he could possibly want. Maybe Castiel wanted to talk about what happened that day at church.

Dean grabs his jacket from the wall hook by the front door, "Bobby-" and peeks into the kitchen where his uncle was cleaning up. "Goin' to see Cas, you cool with that?" the older man nods, telling him to come back before midnight. "Thanks, won't be long-" 

Dean is about to knock on the door, but instead just yanks it open and steps inside to find the place glowing in sparse candlelight. "Cas?" he looks around and finds him standing in the living room. "Uh, what're you doin' in the dark-"

The older man slowly gets down on one knee and his eyes widen in disbelief. Tears well up in his eyes instantly, threatening to spill over his lower lashes, but they don't. The house was a little too silent, no television going on in the background, nothing at all. 

"What're ya doin' there Cas-" he laughs uncomfortably, taking a step back nervously and once again, starts biting his nails.

Castiel takes a deep breath before saying, "Dean, I want you to marry me-" the teen nods his head uncomfortably. His tone is soft and gentle, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Seeing you up there, on the alter-" 

Dean gulps over the knot in his throat, "I'm scared-" he says softly, but takes a few steps closer until he's standing right in front of the older man. 

Castiel takes both of the teens hands in his, "I'm scared too, it's okay-" and kisses both of them, his eyes bore into pale green. "Will you marry me-"

Dean laughs uncomfortably again, shrugging his shoulders like a little child. _"Cas-"_ his tone is awkward, shy even. Eventually repeating the words, "I'm scared-" and his eyes are looking around the room at the candles that had been scattered around the area.

Castiel plays with the silver ring already on the teens middle finger, "Are you saying no?-" and stands up only because being down on his knee was beginning to hurt. "Don't worry-" his thick fingers card through the teens short hair, "I'll always love you, if you marry me or not-"

Dean's eyes close at the touch and says, "I'll marry you-" his voice is so soft that he almost wasn't sure he actually said it aloud. "I'll marry you, Cas-" the words are repeated much louder.

Castiel pulls him closer and searches his eyes, "Are you sure?" 

Dean smiles, tears in his eyes. "Yea-" before burying his face in the older mans chest to hide his face because feeling vulnerable wasn't his thing. It always made him feel so _naked,_ so _bare._ Like a tree with no leaves.

Castiel places a soft kiss on the top of his head while rubbing up and down his back to soothe. "I'm so happy-" when green eyes peek up to look at him he asks, "Are you alright with being engaged to me?"

Dean shoves him away playfully, "Shut up-" and it makes them both smile,"But yea, I'm cool with it-"

"Are you happy?" 

"I'm happy-" Dean hesitates, "But-" the older man shuts him up by planting a long lingering kiss on his lips. Eventually pulling away to ask, "About today, you didn't have to leave the church like that. You could have talked to her without telling-"

Castiel's smile falls, "I'm sorry I left." and sucks in a shuddering breath. "It's just, painful-"

"I get it-" Dean smiles softly, "You freaked out-" and tugs on the older mans shirt. "Wanna make love?" he asks quietly, a little embarrassed that he liked it soft and sweet.

"You like when I make love to you?" Castiel whispers in the teens ear, who nods shyly because the sound of his voice in his ear tickled in a way that sent delicious shivers up his spine. "Good thing I enjoy doing so-" his hand runs over the teens firm bottom, giving it a hard squeeze that makes his breath hitch. "Like that?" he gives it a gentle spank. 

"Ugh-" Dean moans before he's lifted up and wraps his legs around the older mans waist. He's carried down the hall to the bedroom until he's dropped gently onto the bed. "Ugh, Cas-" he moans again because large hands are roaming his body possessively, "Mmm-" his jeans are being yanked off and then his step fathers warm mouth wraps around his already hard cock. "Awh fuck- his head falls backwards against the pillow. "Fuck-"

Castiel hums as he lovingly sucks the teens cock deeply into his mouth, deep throating it occasionally to make him lose his mind.

"Ugh-" Dean moans softly, desperately. His legs are trembling and Castiel knows he's close so he stops and moves in between his legs, spreading them open. "Ughh shit-" he braces himself for what's to come, his mouth hanging open as the thick lubed cock presses against his hole, pushing inside all the way. "Ugh-" he chokes out.

"It's okay baby-" Castiel leans over him, "I'm here-" his lips press soft kisses to the teens face and along his neck as his hips find a slow pace that feels pleasurable for the both of them. After a few minutes, Dean's soft cries and whimpers become more frequent, so frequent that he has to ask- "This okay?"

"Ughh, yea-" Dean bites his lip, eyes fixated above him on his step fathers. "So fucking good-" the pace is slow, agonizingly slow but it allows them to feel and discover new sensations they hadn't experienced before. His hands run up and down his back, lightly scratching the sweaty flesh of the older man above him as his nails drag down. "I love you-"

Castiel has to blink the surprise away from his face, "I love you too-" he hadn't been expecting to hear that right then because things were still strained between them regardless of what just happened in the living room. "So much, Dean-" he groans, "I have to come-" it's a warning, his pace is speeding up and the teen below him nods eagerly. 

"Ughhh-" Dean moans, it felt so good but it still kind of hurt as it always did but he didn't mind- the occasional jab to his prostate masked the painful fullness of having a cock ramming him in the ass. "Gonna come-" right then, he spills white all over his twitching stomach and Castiel comes inside him with a rumble in his chest. 

When Castiel slowly pulls out of the twitching hole that doesn't seem to want to let him go, they both moan at the loss. He spreads the teens legs wide open again and bends him in half before diving in to kiss and lap and the puffy hole. Dean shivers, closing his eyes at how sensitive it feels right in this moment.

"Push it out-" Castiel asks softly as he kisses those plush thighs.

Dean instantly goes red and shakes his head, it was no secret that he didn't like having come in his ass much less pushing it out in front of the man who put it in there. Castiel doesn't seem to want to take no for an answer so he slowly pushes the hot come out and he can feel the warmth trickling out. Dean can't help but scrunch up his nose at the funny sensation.

Though Castiel seems to love it because he gives him a hickie right there on his thigh, the only place he could give him one without rising any suspicions. 

"Cas-" Dean giggles softly, pushing him away. "Stop, you freak-"

After lazily making out for a few minutes they happen to fall asleep and when they wake up in the morning, they continue their lazy kissing session until they have to get up for the day. Luckily Castiel had the day off but it wasn't something to celebrate since he wouldn't really be able to spend it all with his love because Dean had to sneak into Bobby's and pretend he'd been there the whole night.

It was early, so early the sun was just about to begin rising in the distant horizon while the teen is cutting through the back to sneak into the house. Yet the plan didn't work out the way he had hoped it would because unfortunately his uncle was up and already working on a car out back. Instantly the big bearded man looks up at him as he climbs over the fence- no use in trying to hide now. 

Bobby's eyes look at him, then at Castiel's house before refocusing on him. "You slept over at his place?" the guilty teen nods. He straightens up and wipes his hands on the same old red rag he always used to clean off his hands while working. 

"I fell asleep after-" his voice trembles. "Cas had me cleanin' the whole damn house, you believe that?" he huffs a nervous laugh.

"Boy, you better not think I'm stupid enough to believe any of what ya just said-" their eyes meet again and he knows he's busted. Bobby _knows._ "Are ya sleepin' with him?-" his tone is neither angry nor happy, it's eerily calm, like the calm before a storm.

"Bobby, it's not what you think-"

Bobby slams his hand roughly on the hood of the car he'd just been working on and it shuts the teen up from trying to explain his sleepover with a grown man away. "Shut it-" his tone is now angry, eyes are squinting in the rising suns first rays of light. "I'm gunna kill em'-" and he's off, marching into the house. Most likely to get one of his many guns before going next door to do just that.

"No!" Dean yells, going after his uncle/

Once inside the house, he sees that Bobby has his shot gun in his hand and is marching out the front door. He catches up to the man in no time and he's yanking on his arm to keep him in place but he managed to get himself free. The only thing working in the teens favor was his uncles bad knee, it kept him at a slow pace. Slow enough that he was begging him the whole walk up the road. 

"Please, Bobby-" aside from the panic looked on the teens face, he's oddly calm. "Bobby please don't hurt him-"

Bobby stops, "I won't-" and relaxes. "But I need to know what ya been doin' at his house, I wanna hear it-"

Dean nods, looking away in shame. "We're together-started around when I was _eleven-"_ his voice cracks. "I swear he never meant to do anything to me but I-I-" he shakes his head. "I liked him a lot-"

"When did you-" Bobby looks away as well, unable to make eye contact. This situation was awkward and strange to say the least, it's not like he would be upset if his nephew was with another man, but this man was like a father to him.

"Thirteen-" Dean lets out a sob. "We had sex when I was thirteen-" 

"Son of a bitch-" Bobby curses, throwing the shot gun on the ground. "Son of a bitch raped you- he was supposed to take care of ya!"

"He never-" Dean covers his face in shame because now his uncle is looking at him and he can't stand to be so damn vulnerable. "I wanted it-"

"Boy-" Bobby pulls him in for a big bear hug, "-you were just a kid, you wouldn't know if you really wanted it or not." and the teen breaks down, crying hysterically into his chest. "S'okay-" his large hand rubs up and down his back lovingly. "I ain't mad at ya-"

Dean looks up at him, "Why not?" 

"I'm mad at him-" Bobby sighs, "I'm mad at your dad and _him-"_ and gestures towards the house. "He took advantage of you-"

"Bobby, I kissed him first-" his eyes look down at his unlaced boots that had been thrown on in a hurry. "I started it-" then his uncle starts marching down the rest of the way to the house to confront the man, unarmed. "Bobby!" he goes after him.

Bobby knocks loudly on the screen door and it wasn't long before Castiel comes the door with a smile on his face, completely unaware that things were about to get ugly. His eyes focus on Dean and his smile falls as if already knowing that this wasn't going to be a pleasant social call. Bobby pulls open the screen door without saying a word and punches him right in the nose, which makes Castiel fall backwards onto the floor with a thud.

"Bobby!" Dean whines in anger and quickly makes his way into the home, squatting down next to his _fiance_ to make sure he's alright. "You okay?" the man on the floor nods, hand over his bloody nose. "Shit, Bobby-"

Castiel whimpers like a child as Dean helps him tilt his head back, "He knows-" the question is whimpered painfully. 

"Yea-" Dean says quietly before he looks up at his uncle, staring down at the both of them interacting this way because he had missed it.

Bobby couldn't believe this, sure he'd had his suspicions in the past but that's all they were and never expected that his nephew would be involved with an older man, and that wasn't even the worst part- the worst part was that he was involved with his step father. It wasn't official, he wasn't Dean's real step father- the guy wasn't married to one of his parents in order to earn that title but that's what he was. If he liked it or not, he was the teenagers step father because he took care of him since he had been just a boy.

"Bobby?" Dean's looking up at him with concern in his eyes because his uncle didn't look angry anymore- he looked sick. The man was pale as a ghost and his lips were dry looking. "Bobby-" he stands up before his uncle goes down on one knee, "Bobby!" he crouches down again, "What's wrong?"

"Don't feel too good-" 

Dean nods, looking over at Castiel now who had managed to get himself off the floor and he nods. They didn't have to say it out loud, they just knew they had to take Bobby to the hospital right then. Bobby was an older man and a shock like this couldn't be good for him in any way so off they go. Castiel and Dean help Bobby off the floor, guiding him to the car. 

The drive to the hospital in town where Castiel worked was a quiet one. No one spoke, mostly out of worry- Bobby stays silent the whole time, his eyes were closed and you could just tell by looking at him that he wasn't doing well at all. 

Once they arrive Castiel makes them wait in the car while he brings out a wheelchair for Bobby and helps him onto it. After getting signed in, Bobby gets blood work done and all kinds of tests which make them all nervous. Dean's the most anxious because this is the only flesh and blood relative he's got, that he knows of that is- he's biting the skin of the edge of his thumb and doesn't stop until Castiel pulls his hand away from his mouth.

Dean didn't like seeing the man laying there on the hospital bed with wires and fluids attached to his arms and chest. "S'all my fault-" he says eventually under his breath. Bobby was asleep after being given something to help him relax as per Castiel's request. 

"It's my fault Dean, maybe I should have never allowed myself to get involved with you-" his admission is done in honesty and the teen nods in agreement. Maybe they really should have kept it platonic between them, regardless of how they felt for each other. "I love you, Dean- but I feel like I've ruined everything-"

Bobby rasps, "Will ya two shut up already, sounds like a damn soap opera in here-" 

"Bobby-" Dean smiles and comes closer to him, standing by the bed and his hands grip the railing. "I'm sorry-"

"Yea-" the bearded man coughs a little bit, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "I ain't happy about this but-"

"Right-" Dean nods, "Last thing I wanna do is give you a heart attack-" his uncle closes his eyes once more, quickly falling asleep. After a minute or two of watching his uncle sleep, he looks over his shoulder at his step father whose sitting down in one of the two chairs in the ER room. "I think you should go-" the words catch Castiel by surprise, instantly looking hurt. "This is between me and my uncle-" and he gives the man a smile to let him know they're on good terms.

Castiel stands, "Alright-" and leaves without kissing him goodbye.

Before leaving the hospital he manages to get himself checked out as well, luckily Bobby didn't break his nose either and it's no surprise that face punching runs in the Winchester family.

Bobby had been instructed to take it easy the next couple of weeks- at least six- so now everything lands on Dean's lap for a while. Everything he used to do such as fixing cars for his clients, chopping wood and feeding those darn chickens out back. Dean never liked them, often ignoring them and pretending they didn't exist. Dean's out back doing just that, until his bucket of chicken feed is empty.

"Shut up!" he roars in annoyance and tosses the empty bucket across the yard. 

Dean was in a terrible mood because his uncle was in the hospital and has been for a few days now, not only that, but Castiel wasn't around much. Derek wasn't around either but why does he even care about him. _He doesn't._ He's back with Castiel now, they were more than _back_ together, they were _engaged._ Somehow having that title stamped on their relationship is making him feel different. Like things might be okay if they _both_ do their best to keep it together.

Although the pain is still there, it doesn't matter. It's a new start, sort of and he's not going to waste it by sulking on it forever. Forgive and forget, or whatever.

Dean's enjoying a hot cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal when there's a knock on the front door. It almost startled him because no one ever stops by, "Kevin-" his eyes widen almost as soon as he's opened the door. Surprisingly his church buddy came to see him, "What are you-"

Kevin smiles, "What-" and steps inside the home. "-you thought just because we're done with Sunday school that were done being friends too?"

He laughs softly, "I guess not-"

Things are pretty weird and awkward for the first half hour of them hanging out since Dean's not used to having a friend over. He loves living out here with his uncle but missing Sam is always on the back of his mind, Jack too. It's been quite a while since he's heard from both of them and even much longer since he's tried reaching out himself.

The last text from Sam had been about his house getting broken into by John, his father. Dean never did tell him that his father had passed, maybe he should have but why would he even care? He's feeling extremely disconnected from the world, had been for so long, ever since his _issues_ with food and hurting himself had taken over his life.

Things had gotten so dark from the ages of fourteen until just recently.

The light is finally coming through, shining at him from a very long tunnel that's he's still stumbling through. Since moving here, things have been weird in ways and better in others. Here, he can breathe, he can dream- dream about a nice future with the man he loves. Though the thought that maybe being with someone his own age is a better fit sometimes, the love for his step father doesn't let him go.

It's sick and it's beyond twisted, pretty down right toxic at times since they both have a temper. Dean understands why Castiel's got to be hard on him, he's his father figure, but him- there's no excuse. At least before the whole Meg thing went down next door, there was never a reason to be so hard on the guy, no rhyme or reason to cheat on him by kissing all his friends.

There's always been this hole inside him that he's been trying to fill but even with how much Castiel loves him, it's not enough and that isn't his fault.

It's no ones fault but Johns, making him feel so small and worthless all his life. Never having gotten the proper care and love from him at such a young age, maybe his father loved him but it was in such a sick and perverse way. Most days Dean thinks it's the only reason why he's with Castiel, a much older man who was supposed to do nothing more than just take care of him.

It hurts his stomach that most nights, the only way he feels loved is by having sex. Dean needs help, but how is he going to get it without being completely honest with his therapist? He wants to be, God he wants to tell her everything. But it's just not possible right now, it will have to wait until it's the right time. After his _birthday._

Kevin says, "Dean?" 

A hand is waving in front of the teens face and he blinks, "Sorry man-" 

"You okay?" his face is full of concern for his friend. They'd been outside on the porch steps, drinking a few sodas and passing a stale cigarette back and forth. "You've been zoned out a while-"

Dean takes the cigarette and takes a puff, "Got a lot on my mind-" he exhales. "I'm kinda gay by the way-" that's when his friend starts coughing, clearly not expecting the confession. "Relax, I'm not hitting on you-"

Kevin nods frantically, "I didn't think you were-" a few seconds of silence. "Why are you telling me?"

Dean shrugs, looking down at his boots, cigarette hanging loosely between his index and middle finger. "We're friends, aren't we?" the other teen nods. "Shouldn't we share stuff?" 

Kevin smiles shyly, "I guess-" the sun is setting far off in the horizon, both of them feeling cold since neither one had a jacket. "Do you have a boyfriend?" the question is asked suddenly, feeling strange coming out of his mouth.

He hesitates before answering, "I do-" and takes another drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke into his friends face by accident. "We're getting married someday-" and the words also sound strange coming out of his mouth.

Kevin doesn't think it's crazy, only because he doesn't know who his friend intends to marry- most likely believing it's some boy he met around town. They chat quietly among themselves for the next hour, until the sun is complete set behind the clouds in the distance, and it gives the sky a dark gray hue. Dean stomps out the cigarette and stands up, his friend following him inside the home.

"You wanna spend the night?" he asks while digging inside the fridge for something to eat, quickly settling on hot dogs. 

Kevin hesitates because of his recent confession but says, "Sure. Is it cool with your uncle? I don't wanna-"

Dean laughs, "It's fine. Besides, he's in the hospital-"

"What happened?" the same innocent concerned face is displayed on his friend once more. "Is he okay?"

"Yea, he's fine-" Dean puts a couple of hot dogs in the microwave, enough for leftovers in case they get hungry again later. "He collapsed-" and saying those words aloud have him feeling a little off balance. It takes him by surprise, it's been a while since he's felt dizzy like this.

Luckily Kevin was there and picked up on his dizzy spell, "Dean-" he's holding him up by the arm. "What happened-" 

Dean doesn't know if he's going to be sick or not so he just stands over the sink, the microwave dings and his eyes well up with tears. He hadn't really processed what happened to his uncle yet, because of _him._ He's totally blaming himself because Bobby wouldn't have ended up in the hospital if it wasn't for him, would have never collapsed like that if he hadn't found out about _them._

"Ugh-" he splashes sink water into his face and wipes himself dry with the peach colored dish towel. "I'm sorry man, you should go home-" now he's feeling guilty about this, not being able to entertain his friend and have some fun like a normal teenager would be able to.

Kevin reaches inside the fridge and hands him a bottle of water, "You can't stay by yourself, what if you get sick-" 

Dean plops down on the chair, legs wide open in exhaustion. "Look-" he licks his lips, not looking into the other teens eyes. "I'm sick-" and the look on his face has him clarifying, "I mean, damn it-" now he hunches over, head in his hands. "I have-" the struggle to find the right words is proving difficult.

His thoughts are racing as he's recalling sending his step father to the hospital with chest pains as well a few months back. Tears sting his eyes but he pushes past it in order to come clean because he's got to come clean to _somebody._

Kevin says softly, "What's going on?" and pulls up a chair to sit right in front of him, their knees almost touching. "You can tell me anything-"

Dean looks up finally, "I'm-" and he's finally going to say it. "I have an eating disorder-" there's an odd silence between them, but he can't turn back now. "-and I'm having an affair with my step dad. Well, it started like that-he was with my dad first."

Kevin doesn't blink for a while, maybe a full minute. "Uh-" and the teen is processing the information. His eyes scan his friends body briefly, up and down as if checking him out but not in _that_ way. "Are you okay now?-" Dean nods, because he had been doing better with food. "And your step dad, you mean Cas?" he nods again. "Uh-"

"I shouldn't have told you-" he mutters regretfully.

"I just-" he begins laughing softly. "It's a lot to take in, sorry. It's not funny." 

Dean chuckles softly, "It's kinda funny-" and it didn't take long for his laughter to turn into tears. Kevin surprises him by leaning forward and wrapping his arms around him as he cries, allowing him to let some of his pent up emotions out. "I'm so lonely, man-" 

Kevin pulls away with a pat on his shoulder, "You got me, everything's gonna be alright-"

For a moment the Winchester on the brink of adulthood believes him and their evening is salvaged. Dean managed to scarf down two hot dogs regardless of his weak stomach and so did Kevin as they watched a few movies on the living room television. Both teenagers eventually fell asleep on the couch until morning, the sun peeking in through the sheer curtains awoke them at the same time. They had bed hair and were groggy, but the fun night between friends was needed.

Kevin says, "I'll come hang out with you soon-" as they walk to his mothers car by the fence.

Dean nods, a soft smile on his face as they say goodbye for now. Kevin was a good sport, not making fun of him or threatening to call the cops on his _situation._ He fishes inside his pocket for his cellphone to see not a single missed call or text from Castiel and it was starting to hurt. Weren't they engaged now? Shouldn't things be better than they were before? Somewhere in the back of his heart, he does hold a grudge over Castiel's because of his job that keeps him away for long periods of time.

The distraught teen heads inside, calling out to his pet. "Where the hell are you-"

Dean's so out of it, especially after last nights dizzy spell that he's questioning if she was ever real to begin with but she must have been. Her box was still by his bed as he'd left it, she just wasn't it. Maybe she ran away or something, maybe ran outside without him noticing when he opened the door at some point.

Dean pushes any thoughts about his pet out of his mind, as well as thoughts about his step father. Surely the guy was just busy, as usual. His day is spent cleaning and doing chores around the house. The tasks before him are easing his guilt and it's a good thing because the last thing he needs is his uncle getting on his case about doing nothing while he was in the hospital. Bobby was coming home tomorrow and he wanted to make sure the guy did nothing at all but sleep and eat.

The teen shouldn't have been so guilty, the guys bad eating habits were just getting to him alongside the years of poorly treated high blood pressure among other small health issues. It really wasn't his fault at all, just a mere coincidence that this happened on the day he found out about their relationship.

Dean hears a car door slamming shut right outside the front door, a quick peek through the window lets him know it's Castiel. _Finally._ As soon as the teen opens the door, the older man is on him, pushing him back inside the house and apologizing profusely. It confusing him instantly, it's as if Castiel didn't want him to go outside.

"Cas-" Dean laughs awkwardly, "What the hell-" 

Castiel keeps him in place, "Sorry-I'm sorry-" 

Dean's heart sinks, "Where's Bobby-" and it hits him that he's just come home from the hospital, from work. "Where's Bobby? Cas!" 

"Dean, he's-" and he's struggling to keep the teenager from exiting through the front door because there's something on the porch he doesn't want him to see. "He's fine!" and the teen stills, their eyes meet. "Bobby is fine, it's just-" Castiel looks over his shoulder, "Your cat-"

Dean shoves him aside to go outside, instantly pale in the face and feeling sick just like he had last night. The view before him was unsettling, not quite understanding what he was looking at. "Is that-" he squints, examining the floorboards of the porch. "Blood?" his eyes scan all around, there's blood but no body. 

Castiel comes outside, standing right beside him with his hands on his hips. "Think a dog got your cat?" there's a beat of silence, "A wild animal or something?"

Dean huffs, "I've never seen anything out here-" nothing aside from that shadow, who all along had been his father. "Is dad still haunting you?" the question comes out of nowhere.

Castiel looks over at him, "Kind of a weird time to bring up your dad." the teen nods, eyes fixating on the blood once again.

Another wave of whatever the hell is going on with him, washes over over him once more. "Ugh-" and he leans over the porch railing just in case. His step father is on him just like Kevin had been the night before, both of them full of the same concern. 

"Are you eating enough?" the gruff voice asks softly by his his ear. 

Dean groans, "Yes!" and kicks the floorboards with his boot. 

Castiel backs away, "I had to ask-" there's a moment of silence. "Go inside, I'll clean this up-" his eyes distastefully examine the mess on the porch. 

Dean looks almost seasick as he walks inside the home, the teen wasn't sick, just extremely guilty and anxious. It had been a while since he's felt horrible like this, almost forgetting completely what it was like to feel like shit. Castiel sprays down the mess with Bobby's water hose until no evidence was left to suggest that anything horrible had happened there. 

Castiel goes inside to find Dean laying on his bed, looking much better than he had been twenty minutes ago. He smiles, "Feeling better?"

Dean glances up from the playboy that he never bothered to hide, "Just friggin' anxious-" and it felt so weird to be honest for once about how he was feeling. Suddenly he sits up, "I need a cigarette-" and the older man stops him from getting up.

Castiel uses his stern voice, "No." 

Dean repeats, "No?" 

"No."

"Well fuck-" Dean gives in, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Okay _dad-_ " his tone is mocking.

Castiel lets it go, because his cat most likely had been mauled to death by something. "I know you're upset about the cat-" the teen shakes his head, biting on the skin of his thumb. He wraps an arm around him, pulling him close. "I missed you, work's been-"

Dean finishes his sentence, "Hectic, I know." his tone is a sad one. Their eyes meet, "Is this what our life is gonna be like? You, always working and me, just-" his words die off mid sentence. "You know those holiday parties you go to every year? The ones at the hospital-" he nods, "How am I ever gonna be able to show my face there?"

Castiel is confused, "My work parties aren't your thing anyway-"

Dean rolls his eyes, "No shit. But when were married, I'm gonna have to go with you. Support you or whatever- and how will I, how are you-" his words die off again. "Your stupid doctor friends are gonna think- shit."

Castiel runs his hand through the hair on the back of the teens head, "I don't care what my coworkers think about us. Besides, I'm not the only doctor whose with someone younger than they are-"

Dean looks up at him, "So all docs are pervs, got it-" there's a hint of a smile on his face to let the older man know he's only kidding.

"You're going to be my husband-" Castiel reassures him, "All you have to do is be _you._ You don't need to impress anybody-" after some silence, "If you're worried about me being at work all the time, there's always college. It's something to do during the day while I'm gone-" the subject wasn't brought up in a while and the date of the teens first day of his program was approaching quickly.

Dean nods, "I'm gonna give a try, okay Cas?" but secretly was hoping he wouldn't have to go do this program.

Castiel kisses his forehead, "Okay, Dean. Give it a try, I think you just might like it." it was no secret that Dean had been so excited to start college, because it was going to make him _legit_ on his venture of fixing cars for a living alongside his uncle. But that excitement had sizzled as the weeks went by and the dread set in. "You're going to be fine-"

Dean leans into his step father for comfort and they snuggle on Dean's bed for a while until he asks, "And Bobby, how is he?" 

Castiel kisses his forehead once more, "Well he's finally on the right medications for one, that alone has improved his condition dramatically-" the teen is softly crying in his arms now, "What's wrong?"

Dean wipes his eyes for a little too long as if to hide his face, "Thought he was gonna die-"

Castiel smiles, "Are you kidding? He'll probably out live us all-" after a beat, "Close your eyes, I'll watch over you." it doesn't take long at all before he's fast asleep, his stomach growling every now and then. 

Dean must have forgotten to eat that day and he knew it. Castiel decided that he would stay right here tonight, to watch over him and make sure he eats a good breakfast in the morning. The teen can be so careless at times, forgetting to eat and making bad decisions on occasion.

Castiel sighs, his fingers brushing through Dean's hair gently as he counts all the freckles on his face for what must be the millionth time.


	62. The Body

The teen lay sleeping at the center of his bed, a heaviness was on him. "Get off-" he mumbles sleepily before rolling over unto the opposite side of his bed. The covers are kicked off at some point, leaving his half naked body exposed to the cold air. Regardless of the October chill, beads of sweat roll down his chest through out the night. "Dad-" the word is spoken softly.

Dean rolls over onto his stomach suddenly, eyes opening slowly to see the digital clock on his nightstand. It was only three in the morning, he must have had some kind of nightmare. He doesn't remember it all of it, but it was about his father. It must have been, he' woken up feeling strange and dirty, just like he used to feel at night as a boy. As soon as his eyes land on the empty space next to him it hits that his step father isn't there to offer comfort right then.

"God-" he groans in frustration before getting up from the bed to get himself some water from the kitchen. 

Dean downright chugged an entire bottle of water in less than a minute, almost dropping the now empty bottle on the floor when something walks by. Something was caught in his peripheral vision, something tall and dark. It couldn't be Bobby walking by, he was in the hospital, to be released later that morning if everything goes as planned.

It dawns on him that he's completely alone in the house and suddenly wishes he'd slept over next door, but things are still complicated. 

The last thing he wants to think is that he's seeing that _shadow_ stalking him again.

The shadow that scared him all those times, it was just his father. But now that he was dead, the idea of him coming to check up on his son is something he doesn't want to entertain. It hadn't been that long since his passing, but it seemed like he'd died a long time ago. That day he left was the day he considered the man dad, way dead.

Dean tosses the water bottle into the trash bin, letting out a loud yawn as he pads down the hall to the bathroom.

While splashing cold water on his face, the lights flicker but it doesn't scare him in the slightest. The house was extremely old and the wires were faulty at best, so the flickering goes ignored. Dean shuts off the light in the bathroom with yet another yawn and returns to his bed in an attempt for another few hours of sleep. 

Quickly after falling asleep, the same nightmare returns. A dark weight presses down on him, but he's so sleepy that it doesn't register in his brain enough to cause him any real fear. When the sensation of falling washes over him, the teen awakens in a hurry.

Dean must have gotten dizzy, the bed feels like it's rocking side to side even though it's clearly not. "Damn it-" he sends a quick text to his step father, letting him know that he's feeling dizzy again.

After all, he had promised to be honest to the man about these things. His phone pings with a response rather quickly. The text makes him snort, and he doesn't respond to it. All Castiel said was, _maybe you're pregnant._

It amazes him the kind of things the freak thinks about on his spare time but it was late, he must have woken him. It honestly would not surprise him if the man was having dreams of him getting or being pregnant. The guy was kinky and weird as fuck, anything was to be expected from him.

The longer he lays awake in bed, the more pissed he becomes over losing precious sleep. It's not like he can jack off to kill some time because thoughts of his father are swimming in his mind, uninvited. 

In the quick blink of an eye it's morning and what do you know, he managed to actually get more sleep. Even so, he's not feeling any more rested and his stomach is growling, letting him know it's time to get the hell up and eat something. But something is keeping him in bed, his hand wanders down his chest to rest on his flatter than usual stomach.

The teens fingers caress his skin lightly, nails dragging across his own flesh. Dean sucks in a breath, it'd been a while since he'd woken up with a tent in his boxers. "Ugh-" his hand explores much lower, eventually wrapping around himself. 

The teen strokes himself firmly but slowly, up and down, chest rising and falling in tandem with the movements of his hand. He's just about to come when his phone buzzes loudly on the nightstand, startling him enough that it kills the mood right then.

Sure enough it was Castiel, letting him know that he'd be dropping by in a few hours to bring Bobby home from the hospital.

The day was the coldest it had been yet, so Dean takes advantage of the early start to his day and is out back chopping wood before the sun has had a chance to fully rise. Not that daybreak would make much of a difference, dark clouds were above his head, blocking any type of light that may come. While he works, an odd smell lingers in the air and it does undetected by the teen.

Dean grabs a pile of freshly cut wood to bring inside but before he can make it to the back door, that terrible smell finally hits him. He'd been so preoccupied by his work that it didn't phase him until now. A rustling in the woods has his gaze going in that direction, eyes fixed on the bare trees.

"Somebody out there?" he calls out loud enough.

No one should be out there, not all the way out here that's for sure. Dean rushes inside the house to drop off the chopped wood before the storm came, leaving it piled up by the fireplace that hadn't been in use since last winter. When he exits through the backdoor to clean up, again that stench enters his nostrils.

After a few minutes Dean's got an arm full of unusable pieces of chopped wood and is about to pick up another piece, and stumbles backwards when he realizing that it wasn't a chunk of wood he was going to grab just then but the body of his former pet. "Ugh!" the disgust has him spitting on the ground, in the opposite direction. After standing up and dusting himself off, his eyes zone in on the poor creature.

The tiny thing looked like it had been mailed to death by something, dried blood and leaves had been matted into her dark fur. The teen actually crouches down in front of the small animal and begins to cry over the loss. As bad as it may sound, It wasn't really about the cat, he did like her a lot but this was pent up grief over his father choosing to come out right then.

It was easier to cry over an innocent animal that it was to cry over an abusive man.

Dean's palms press against his eyes as if that would somehow stop the tears, it doesn't. It's not clear how long he spent knelt down, crying over the cat. The spell is broken as soon as he catches a glimpse of Castiel's car driving down the road. Bobby was coming home today, he was coming right _now_ and it was time to get himself together.

He quickly wipes his eyes with dirty fingers, "Damn it-" and stands, making his way around the house to greet them both.

"Hey-" he forces a smile when Castiel opens the car door for his uncle. "How ya doin' Bobby?"

Castiel instantly picks up on his sadness but doesn't ask about it, most likely Dean wouldn't want to talk about his feelings in front of his uncle. Bobby though, ignores him on his slow walk into the house, leaving Both Castiel and Dean to exchange an awkward glance. The pair haven't really talked about Bobby finding out yet or what it means in regards to their relationship. 

Once the door slams shut in the distance, Castiel pulls the teen close to his body for an embrace, completely oblivious to the fact that the teens uncle was peeking through the curtains and spying on their interaction.

"Hang in there-" is all he says before giving him a kiss on the forehead, then getting into his car.

Dean turns around, completely confused as to what those words mean. "What does that mean?!" and the older man just smiles, his car backing away. "Wait!" 

They're completely and totally committed now, no way Castiel is breaking up with him. _Right?_ His anxiety begins to bubble up in his stomach again, his guts doing cartwheels inside his body. When he enters the house, he finds Bobby on the couch with a glass of water and it makes him smile. Dean leans against the living room entry way, arms crossed at his chest.

"No more beer?" it's a good thing, his uncle being sober for once. "Gotta say I'm surprised-"

Bobby looks up, "Don't think I forgot about you two-" the teens smile falls.

"You didn't kill Cas on the drive home-" he admits quietly. "You were so mad-"

Bobby huffs a laugh, "I wanted to-" there's tension between them. "But I can't risk ya hatin' me-" the man actually sniffles. "Listen, boy-"

"Bobby-"

"Why can't ya stay away from him?" he sits up. "At least until you're eighteen-" the teen shakes his head, it angers him. "Have you no self control boy!" his voice roars extremely loudly in the silent home.

Dean looks at him, eyes tearing up. "When it comes to Cas, no-" he gulps. "I don't-"

Bobby nods, "Let's hope he's got some self control for the both of ya. I told em' to keep his distance or else -"

"Or else what!" he yells, taking a few steps closer to his uncle and he's not mad, he's just so frightened over not being able to see Castiel again, of him ending up in prison or worse. "Bobby, or what-"

"I'm tellin' somebody about this-" the words are spoken softly, like he hates that he might have to turn in a man that has become a friend. "It's not right, what you're doin'-"

Dean actually whimpers, falling to his knees in front of his uncle. "For fucks sake Bobby, you can't take away the only person that cares about me-"

Bobby looks down at him in wonder, "What the hell ya talking about? I love you-" his large hand lands on the teens shoulder. "Are ya blind son?" the teen doesn't react yet. "I love you like my boy, why do ya think this hurts me so darn bad?"

Dean blinks away the tears, it's so weird being vulnerable in front of such a strong man. "I-"

"Ya got Kevin now, that Robin girl-" Bobby's tone is very reassuring, "Ya got me." there's a pause. "Let go of em'- it's time to let go. Yer not alone anymore-"

That has Dean breaking down in tears, "But I love him, Bobby-" 

Bobby almost feels terrible about this situation, but it doesn't make it right. "Ya gotta let em' go-" the teens arms are wrapped around him, his face pressing into his belly. "Let em' go-"

"No!" he pulls himself away and he's now huffing and puffing while pacing around the living room.

The older man stands, "Ya think I'm mad because you love another-" his words die off. "I could care less who you love, man or woman. It ain't matter to me and I ain't even mad that ya love Cas-" their eyes meet. "I'm mad that ya think you can't live without em'-

Dean inhales deeply, his bottle lip trembles, hands balled into fists at his sides.

"Love em'-" Bobby states, "Fine by me boy. But ya gotta live yer life for you, not for Cas. Boy, can't ya see it?" the teen is confused once again. "Yer whole world is _Cas-_ " 

Dean can't tell if things are getting better or worse regarding the situation. All he can do is listen to his uncle speak, even if he doesn't agree to his views about their relationship. 

"Ya gotta let em' have his own life too-" he inches closer to his nephew. "I know toxic when I see it boy, you two don't know how to live apart for a second." the teen lets himself be hugged by the larger man. "I think yer stickin' by him because ya feel like no one else understands you- ya think no one else loves you."

Dean begins to sob again, "He's my best friend-" the words are muffled by his uncles flannel covered shoulder. "I love him, he's all I know-"

Bobby says softly, "I understand-" his large hand gently pats his nephews upper back in hopes of soothing him. "But ya gotta love _you,_ more than ya love _him."_

Dean pulls away in confusion, brows knit together. "I-" the words are caught in his throat. "I do-I love myself." but neither one of them believe the statement.

"If ya did, ya wouldn't go around doin' this-" Bobby pushes up the sleeve of the young Winchesters unbuttoned flannel to expose several scars that were not even a week old. "And ya wouldn't be starvin' yourself neither."

Dean actually gasps in surprise and quickly pushes his sleeves down to his wrist, then holds his hands behind his back like a small boy waiting in the school lunch line. "Bobby, stop-" his uncle grabs him by the face, one large hand cupping each side of his face as he tells him _I love you_. "Stop-" _I love you._ "Bobby stop it!" he covers his face in shame. "No one should friggin' love me!"

The young Winchester must have cried for what felt like forever after filling in his uncle on certain key moments in his life, stuff he didn't already know about it. The confession was a bit jarring to say the least, he was tough as nails but hearing all the pains the teens gone though isn't easy to listen to.

Bobby ends up cradling his nephew on the couch for a long time, maybe hours. After peeking through the curtains, he sees that it's completely dark outside and that the entire day was spent right there with the teen in his arms. Bobby didn't mind though, because Dean needed as much love as he could get, love that didn't need to be given to him by an older man on a bed.

One thing is for sure, he does want Dean to keep his distance from his step father. At least for a while, because Dean needs healing more than anything right now. He doesn't dare move doesn't a muscle until the teen stirs in his arms, green eyes slowly peek up at him through damp lashes.

"Tell me it's over-" Dean murmurs against the mans beer gut, "We're not gonna have another family special are we-"

Bobby huffs, "No son-" before slowly getting up from underneath the teens body and stretches his tight limbs. "Ya hungry?"

The duo make due with the time crunch in front of them, it was too late for a proper meal so they fire up the grill and what better time than on a cold night like this. It was Dean's turn to make the burgers and he'd been doing just that for the last few minutes. He's standing in front of the large grill, flipping the meat patties every minute or so to get both sides to cook equally.

The cold wind blowing was making the task difficult, threatening to kill off the flames but he managed to get the job done.

Castiel's car starts in the distance and he wonders what the man is getting up to tonight. Dean tries to focus on the fire, on the burgers, and the root beer in his hand but it was so fucking hard. Feeling broken, lonely and somewhat abandoned what a feeling he couldn't stand to bare, even if it was all just in his head.

"You wish he was here, don't ya-" his uncle seems to have read his mind.

Dean looks over his shoulder at his uncle and lies. "Nah. it's kinda nice, just us-" after a while, "You threatened him, didn't you?"

Bobby nods, it was the right thing to do as the teens uncle but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel a little guilty about it. They do need to stay apart, there's no logic in an older man being with someone as young as his nephew. If they choose to start things back up in a few months, after his birthday, that's on them. At least then it would be done legally, unlike now. 

Dean sighs heavily, plating two burgers and handing one of those plates to the bearded man sitting on the lawn chair. "Guess it's just gonna be us for a while-" he parks his behind on the chair next to his uncle.

"That gonna be a problem?"

"Nah-" he lies again, biting into his burger. "It'll be nice, family time or whatever-"

After a few moments of silence Bobby speaks up, "If ya wanna see him or talk, I ain't gonna be against that-" his nephew looks over at him. "But don't want no-"

"No kissing, no nothing-" Dean gulps, "Yea, I got that." 

Bobby stands up and once again, stretches out his back. "Gonna head in, don't stay out here too long. Don't want ya catchin' a cold-" 

Dean watches his uncle go up the porch steps and disappear through the screen door. His eyes look up at the starless sky while thinking about everything that's happened in the last week. It's not long before he hears Castiel's car drive up next door and simply observes the guy getting out of the all to familiar vehicle, totally oblivious to him sitting on the lawn chair. 

After a while of sitting outside alone with his thoughts, that same strong smell makes it's way into his nostrils and he's reminded of the fact that the body of his former met is still laying out back. Dean hauls himself out of the chair in search of a shovel to give the poor thing a proper burial. After he's got one of his uncles older shovels, his feet drag him towards the body. 

Dean can't bare the thought of having to move her, so he digs right where he'd found the animal. Once the hole is deep enough, the shovel is used to roll her over into it, making the most disturbing thud when she hits the bottom of the earth. The teen glances around like he's burying a human being, guilt bubbles up in his gut once more as he uses the shovel to smooth the dirt flat.

"Dean-" his uncles voice calls out to him from behind the screen door. "Ya better not be sneakin' off-"

Dean turns around, stomping towards the house with the shovel in his hand. "I buried the cat-" is all he says before heading in. Bobby had no idea what happened to the little thing and didn't care enough to ask.

By the time he's helped Bobby get ready for bed, there was a text from Castiel waiting for him on his phone.

_Meet me out back, we need to talk._

Dean peeks into his uncles room one more time to check that he's actually sleeping, which he had been. He grabs his jacket on the way out and makes sure to step over where'd buried his pet on his way into the woods

"Dean-" Castiel smiles as soon as the flushed teen appears before him in the darkness, his arms wrap around his neck on instinct. Dean pulls away, it feels wrong to betray his uncle this way. _Again._ "Baby?"

Dean looks up at him through his lashes, "I don't think we should be doin' this-" and then looks around. "I don't wanna hurt Bobby-"

"You really want me to stay away from you?" 

"Maybe we should hold off on the touchy grabby stuff?" there's a hint of a smile on his face, even if it is a sad one. "Come on-" lightly punches the older mans arm, "I'll be all yours in a few months-"

Castiel nods, "Think he'll ever be okay with us being together?" the teen nods, because he's sure of it. Maybe his uncle just needed some time to get used to the idea, and he really needed some time to grow up. "Gonna miss you-" the words sound shaken.

"Don't be a girl, Cas-" he chuckles, "I'm still gonna be here. Just no-"

"No sex-" the older man steps closer and closer, until the teen is pressed up against one of the larger trees. "No kissing-"

Dean shivers, "Stop-" and licks his lips once their bodies make contact. "Oh God, stop-" he shakily pleads before dry lips press against his own in a soft kiss. "Cas-"

"Shh, I had to." he steps away now, fixing the teens jacket. "I'm sorry our relationship got so messy-" the confession is sudden, unexpected. "I never wanted things to turn out like this. I couldn't figure out how to be your guardian and boyfriend at the same time. I never thought-

Dean nods with a smile on his face, "Yea-I didn't either." after a few beats, "So Cas, how the hell are ya?" 

Castiel laughs, following the quick change in conversation. "Well, I've been working with a new nurse actually. Hannah-" the teen nods, interest not peeked. "She's very kind, been spending some time with her-"

That peeks his interest, "Is she-"

"She's married, Dean-" and the teen relaxes a bit. "I saw her tonight, went out to a movie."

Dean snorts, "Yea and I bet her husband loves that-"

"They know I'm Gay, Dean-" Castiel laughs softly, "I'm always open about my orientation. We're just friends-" 

"Guess that's cool-" they're making their way through the woods, walking slowly because they secretly want more time together. "We gonna be doing the whole double date thing when we're married?" 

Castiel shrugs, hands stuffed into his jackets pockets. "It's up to you-" 

"I'd like to be part of your life, Cas-" Dean stops walking, both of them do. "Bobby told me I need to let you have a life." there's a short pause, "I know I've been a nightmare, you couldn't really do much-" he shudders. "I had too many issues and stuff-" 

"Dean-"

"You had a life before us-" Dean states, voice laced in guilt. "You had friends before you came into our lives." by our lives, he means his father and his. "You actually did your own thing. Things that didn't revolve around me-"

Castiel nods, "I did-" and lets out a heavy sigh. "God, things got so-"

"I had Sam, Charlie- even Jo was my friend before I fucked it all up." he kicks at the dirt beneath his feet mindlessly. "What I did to her- I'm a friggin' monster."

"Heyy-" Castiel coos softly, tilting the teens chin up so their eyes can meet. 

"No wonder you got so pissed at me for what I did to her-" Dean's bottom lip quivers. "I never wanted to hurt her like _that-_ I really liked her."

Castiel looks away uncomfortably because he remembers exactly what happened between Dean and Jo. The poor girl was so broken after Dean had his way with her and then shut her out completely, didn't give her an explanation or anything as to why he didn't want her anymore. Dean's voice snaps him back to the present, their eyes meeting once again.

"You know, if I didn't love you I probably would have ended up with her-" Dean smiles sadly, looking down now. "She reminds me of my mom, why wouldn't I-"

Castiel wipes the tear that suddenly rolled down his face, "Do you regret us?"

Dean smiles, "Nah-" 

"For better or worse, right?"

"Sure, Cas."

That same night Dean is laying in bed, sleeping, or at least trying to. But these nightmares aren't letting him do so peacefully, flashes of his father are running wild, a horror movie playing behind his eyelids. The screams, the yells, the hitting, they all replay in his mind. Memories of pain at the mans hand have him tossing and turning in bed, there's no comfortable position.

A belt being swung violently, slapping his skin, over and over causes the sweat drenched teen to whimper in his deep sleep. "Agh-" the burn feels real, so real. 

Bobby's asleep across the hall, too far away to hear him groaning in pain. 

His nightmare is taking him somewhere else now, it went from violence to something much _darker._ The darkest secret he'll ever have, something his father used to do when he was just a boy. Dean's eyes are open now, but somehow the dream is still running, still playing in his mind. John Winchester is above him, kissing his neck, those large hands of his running underneath his damp shirt to feel his young flesh. 

"Agh-" 

His fingertips feel so hot, they're burning his skin. They feel so hot that his back is arching up off the bed at the sensation. The teen is groaning in pain or pleasure, it was hard to tell, the whole thing is confusing. Loud painful moans escape his parted lips in the darkness of his cold room, surprisingly his uncle never hears any of this. The feel of a firm and heavy hand is sliding lower, and lower.

"Cas!" he finally jumps up into a sitting position, hand clutching his chest because his heart was beating so fast, so fucking hard. "Cas!" he screams again, as if his step father could hear his cries. "Help me!"

His bedroom door swings open to reveal a confused Bobby Singer. 

Dean looks up, meeting those brown eyes in the doorway as he pants heavily. "Bobby-" and the water works come. He aggressively rubs his stinging eyes with his palms, all he wants is to hide away from what just happened. 

Bobby sits down on the edge of the bed, placing his hand innocently on the teens thigh which causes him to flinch and bring his knees up to his chest like a small boy. Things are silent for a while and the bearded man assumes that his nephew wants to be alone so he stands, but all too quickly the teens arms wrap around him possessively. A cue for him to stay put.

The act is so pure, so innocent that the man sits down again and allows himself to be used as a pillow. Bobby doesn't dare ask what happened, only because he looked so fragile right then. Maybe talking about it would just cause more pain, or fear. He knew it must have been something regarding his father, he'd known for a long time that John was abusive.

Bobby wishes he'd done something about it a long time ago, but hell, he'd been afraid of the man too. The best he could do was leave the door open for Dean if he ever needed a place to stay, or if he ever ran away. Secretly, it's what he wished for more than anything- he wanted Dean Winchester to run away from home and come find him. The teen would have been welcomed with open arms, it was never a question.

He was so sure that one day, he'd open his front door and see the young Winchester standing there, asking to come inside. No such day ever came, and it didn't need to, because John left and he had _Cas._ Bobby was so used to getting calls from him, telling him all about the guy, practically gushed about him. Now it made sense, why he talked so fondly about his step father.

Every time they fought, Dean called Bobby to tell him about it and he could never understand why they argued so much. Now it all makes sense, they had a relationship going on for years. Things were never really platonic between them, it was always more. Much more than he could ever suspect.

The day he got that phone call from Castiel himself was the day his life would change because finally Dean was coming to him. _Cas_ came too, and that was alright. Surely anyone Dean loved this much couldn't be so bad, and he leaves it that. 

"I got ya, boy-" Bobby says quietly. "I got ya-"


	63. Guns & Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned in this chapter is called, Fuck & Run by Liz Phair.

It's been a few short weeks since Dean and Castiel had been keeping their distance. Somehow their relationship seemed to be growing more organically than ever before, with all their late night phone calls while they lay in their own beds somehow made them feel more normal than ever. Castiel came over for dinner every other night, bringing a pizza with him or a bucket of fried chicken.

It was proving to be fun, seeing each other like this. There was no drama or fighting, only good times.

Whenever Castiel was over though, Bobby kept his eye on them both and never left them alone. Dean respected his uncles wishes and didn't sneak off to the woods to meet up with him either after that last time. Any time they managed to spend together was done in front of his uncle and it wasn't so bad doing things his way.

Bobby was still on the fence about Castiel, but at least punches weren't being thrown. They spoke like they usually did, respectfully and even shared some jokes among themselves. Dean was liking this a whole lot better, it's like he had his step father and his uncle without any of the drama of sneaking around.

Though he loved the man more than anything, it was really nice just being a normal teenager for once.

Maybe they both really should have waited until he was an adult to explore their relationship, doing so would have saved them both a lot of pain. They weren't broken up now, they were simply on hold. Not moving forward, or backwards. Their love was on pause and it was alright for now.

Dean had also started his Automotive Technology program, which he actually was enjoying. The classes were short and very hands on, so it wasn't like regular school and that had been his favorite part. As usual, he didn't make any other friends aside from one, _Ash._

The guy had a mullet of some sort and was still young enough to be his friend. Dean instantly found him interesting and they became buddies rather quickly. He wasn't a bad influence at all either, aside from his grunge appearance, Ash turned out to be very respectful and kind. He didn't do drugs or anything that could rub off on him, aside from smoking but Dean already took part in that activity on occasion. 

That's how they found themselves smoking in a grocery store parking lot late one night after class. They sat in comfortable silence in Ash's car, sharing a beet beer between them.

I _don't wanna miss a thing_ by Aerosmith was playing softly on the radio. There were plenty of giggles shared in the front seat of the older teens car and you can blame the beer and their intolerance for it. The next song that comes on, makes them both laugh in awkwardness neither one of them changes the station to something more fitting for two guys to listen to while killing time.

_"I woke up alarmed-"_

_"I didn't know where I was at first-"_

_"Just that I woke up in your arms-"_

_"And almost immediately I felt sorry-"_

_"Cause' I didn't think this would happen again-"_

_"No matter what I could do or say-"_

_"Just that I didn't think this would happen again-"_

_"With or without my best intentions-"_

_"And whatever happened to a boyfriend-"_

_"The kind of guy who tries to win you over?-"_

_"And whatever happened to a boyfriend-"_

_"The kind of guy who makes love cause' he's in it?-"_

Ash notices the look on the teens face, "Remind you of someone?" an innocent look is exchanged between them both.

Dean shakes his head, not wanting to let his new friend know that he's into dudes. Well, it really just was the _one_ dude. The guy seemed pretty tough and all, no way he'd be able to tell him his secret. Ash might beat him up, after all their friendship was brand spanking new.

A new cigarette is lit and they take turns taking a hit, which looks pretty suspicious in a dark parking lot.

_"And I want a boyfriend-"_

_"I want a boyfriend-"_

_"I want all that stupi old shit like letters and sodas-"_

_"Letters and sodas-"_

Ash cracks open a second beer and takes a sip before handing it to the teen on his passenger seat. Dean's feeling awkward because of the song, but Ash is actually bobbing his head to the tune. It was pretty catchy but, _fuck._

_"You got up out of bed-"_

_"You said you had a lot of work to do-"_

_"But I heard the rest in your head-"_

_"And almost immediately I felt sorry-"_

_"Cause' I didn't think this would happen again-"_

_"No matter what I could do or say-"_

_"Just that I didn't think this would happen again-"_

_"With or without my best intentions-"_

They pass the cigarette back and forth still. Dean takes a deep inhale, knowing that this can't be good for him. That burning tightness in his chest feels uncomfortable to no end but it's not enough to make him stop. After all, the teen enjoys a little pain with his pleasure. 

_"I can feel it in my bones-"_

_"I'm gonna spend another year alone-"_

_"It's fuck and run, fuck and run-"_

_"Even when I was Seventeen-"_

_"Fuck and run, fuck and run-"_

_"Even when I was Twelve-"_

"Shit-" Ash laughs, "Who the hell fucks that young-" and Dean laughs nervously, softly. The song really reminds him of _Cas._ The fucking guy took his virginity so young, but maybe it only happened because he put himself out like a little whore. 

_"You almost felt bad-"_

_"You said I should call you up, but I knew much better than that-"_

_"And almost immediately I felt sorry-"_

_"Cause' I didn't think this would happen again-"_

_"No matter what I could do or say-"_

_"Just that I didn't think this would han again-"_

_"With or without my best intentions-"_

Dean inhales a shaky breath, the cigarette sticks to his bottom lip as he continues to smoke without holding it between his fingers. His legs are wide open, hands are on his thighs casually and his eyes are closed in relaxation.

The tune was catchy, sort of like some nineties chick rock but the words hit him in his feelings. He's growing uncomfortable and switches the station as casually as he can, finally landing on some other song that sounded more like their type of music. But new music isn't helping and he feels the need to go walk around, which sounds like an amazing idea seeing as they've been cooped up in the confined space for over an hour.

"I'm gonna go buy some candy or somethin'-" he mumbles before exiting the older vehicle. 

The teen springs towards the entrance of the store and quickly finding the bathroom so he can splash some water on his face. Once arousing thoughts of his step father fade away, he heads out to find a snack of some sort because his stomach had been growling something fierce for a while now. Dean's taking his time, browsing the aisles and runs into Ash.

"Sorry, man. Having trouble picking out somethin'-"

Ash hooks an arm around the teen and they go in search for something that might spark some interest, eventually settling on a bag of chips and a few chocolate bars.

"I got it buddy-" he pulls out his wallet once they're at the register. The guy gives him a ten dollar bill as they walk back to the car and he's completely confused as to why it's given to him. "I thought you might need some cash." he clarifies, "You never buy anything from the vending machines at school-"

Dean hands the bill back, "Keep it man, my step dad's kinda loaded-" and the elder teen pockets the cash.

"Man, I sure hope goin' legit helps land me a job at a shop that pays well-" both teens lean against the old vehicle that had been crashed into on the drivers side. Ash digs into his candy bar, his eyes looking over in curiosity. "Your stomachs growling, but you're not eating-"

Dean rubs the back of his neck, "I don't eat much-" their eyes meet briefly. 

Surprisingly Ash nods in understanding, "I don't eat much either-" and pats the pack of cigarettes in his jeans pocket. "These things kill my appetite like no other, but what're ya gonna do when you have anxiety."

There's a nervous laugh shared between them both, "Right-" and Dean finally digs into his candy bar. "I love chocolate-"

"Good thing you didn't come back as a dog this time around or you'd be screwed on that-" 

Dean laughs loudly, hunching over. "You're funny-" he breathes once he's calmed down. It's pretty late so he asks, "Don't you gotta be home soon?" 

"Nah, got my own place-" Ash tosses the empty wrapper into the backseat of his car, his way of not littering in public places. "Nothing fancy, but it's mine-"

"Bet you got all kinds of girls coming over huh-" Dean bumps shoulders with the older teen. "You can really make em' scream with no one around-"

He laughs loudly, "I've had a few girls over, yeah-"

Dean was amazed by the fact that he had his own place at only nineteen years old. There was no one to keep him from doing whatever the hell he wanted to do or telling him where to be and at what time.

Soon enough, Ash drops Dean off at his uncles house and they wave goodbye to each other all the while still continuing their cat calls and laughter from feet apart. Bobby comes up to the screen door, a smile on his face because his nephew has got himself another friend. 

"Nice boy?" 

Dean nods, "Doesn't look it, but yea-" and goes inside the house with his uncle.

It was extremely nice to have a friend that he didn't feel the least bit _curious_ about. It was becoming a routine of theirs, hanging out for a couple hours on the days they had class and often being paired up as partners for hands on activities. Dean was having so much fun, finally feeling like he had his own life. Though his smile falls as soon as he sees who is sitting at the kitchen table.

"Oh, hey Cas-" he smiles, "How's it going?" and sits down at the table, grabbing a slice of the pizza that was nearly gone. 

"Where have you been?" Castiel looks at the watch on his wrist, "Doesn't school end at five?" the look on the teens face somehow checks him. "Actually, I don't care-"

Bobby ignores their banter because as long as they're not sucking face in front of him, it's all good on his end. Dinner starts off awkward, mostly because Castiel keeps staring at him like a piece of meat on a stick and it kills the happy mood he'd been in all day. When the bearded man gets up from the table to go watch something in the living room, that's when Dean leans over the table. 

"Can you not look at me like that-" his tone is tight.

Castiel blinks, leaning back in his chair. "Looking at you like what?" without realizing, his eyes glance down at the teens lips and he licks his own.

Dean leans back against his chair, "Like that-" their eyes meet. "You want me or something? That it?" his voice lowers. The older man in front of him closes his eyes in arousal, nodding slightly. "

Castiel feels the teens heavy boot pressing down between his legs from underneath the table. "You know I do-" the words are almost silent, his eyes rolling back in his head. "Dean, stop-"

Dean presses down on the mans crotch a bit more, just for fun, before ending the sweet torture. "You sick fuck-" there's a small smile on his face.

Bobby calls out, "What're ya talkin' about over there?"

"Nothing Bobby-" the teen smirks. "Just tellin' Cas about school-"

Castiel leans forward, "I want to kiss you so bad-" his eyes lock on the teens lips briefly before making eye contact. "I need to fuck you-"

Dean leans forward as well, "You're a damn slut, Cas-" a smile is on his face. After a few seconds of tension, "Wanna get me alone, don't you?" the older man nods eagerly. "Pretend to leave right now, sneak around back and come inside through the window-"

Castiel gulps, "Are you serious?" but the teen winks at him before getting up and letting his uncle know that he's going to get in the shower before going to bed. He stands up almost a minute later and says, "Bobby, it seems that I won't be able to stay for that movie but thanks for inviting me-"

Bobby waves him off, he'd been so wrapped up in some kind of cheerleader horror flick that was on the television. Castiel exits through the front door and makes his way towards the side of the house where the teens bedroom was. A quick peek inside lets him know that Dean must really have gone into the bathroom for a quick shower. 

Castiel leans against the house, by the window and waits for him. His eyes fixate on the stars above him until the bedroom window opens, "Finally-" he looks up to see a very damp Dean Winchester with a simple towel wrapped around his waist. This has to be some kind of _trap._ "Dean-" he takes a step back.

The teen waves him in urgently, "Will you just get in here-" and he does, climbs into the bedroom with his help. "You got me alone now-" Dean's looking up at Castiel with _that_ look in his eyes. "Don't ya miss me?" a nervous huff escapes him.

Castiel nods, "Of course-" things feel a little awkward, they haven't kissed or been alone together in a few weeks. He leans in close, planting a shy kiss on the teens soft lips and they both flinch at the sensation, mostly Dean. "What's the matter baby?" his voice is barely above a whisper because they both need to keep quiet because Bobby is just down the hall.

Dean hesitates before the next kiss comes, and flinches again. "This is friggin' weird, man-"

Castiel softly says, "Making me feel like you don't love me anymore baby-" his large hands cup the teens damp face. "You still love me, don't you?"

"Yea-" and smiles, "I think so-" 

"Oh-" Castiel almost snarls, hovering over the teen. "You think so?" they both take slow steps towards the bed, their gaze on each others eyes goes unbroken. Dean falls onto the bed and he crawls over him, holding himself up by his arms.

Dean swallows thickly, his eyes eyes glance down at the heaviness between the mans legs. "That for me?" the large bulge covered in denim starts grinding into him. "Ugh-" the sound escapes him, his eyes dart towards the door in case it opens, but it doesn't. "Ugh, fuck-" the pressure feels good, the softness of the towel against his skin is a delicious addition.

The whole act feels like scratching a never ending itch that feels so damn good. "Ugh-" another soft sound escapes him, and lips are kissing his neck now. "Ugh, Cas-" his bottom lip is caught between his teeth briefly. "Mmm-"

"You smell so good-" Castiel is ravenous but keeping himself under control. "Mmm-" his long tongue licks at the teens peachy pink nipples. "So fucking sweet-"

Dean whimpers softly, "Cas-" legs wrapping around the older mans clothed body and his towel comes undone.

"Fuck-" he pushes away from the teen and takes a few deep breathes. It can't happen, nothing can. "We shouldn't-"

"But I'm so friggin' horny-" Deans begins stroking himself right there in front of him. "So fucking horny-"

Castiel's eyes widen when his eyes land on what he'd started doing, "You're going to get me into trouble-" his eyes follow the movements occurring next to him. "Please stop doing that-"

"Watch me-" his voice is so seductive, "Just watch-" the teens propped up on one elbow, leaning towards the older man as he strokes himself. Occasionally, looking up through his lashes in the most innocent way. 

This can't continue so Castiel has to yank the teens hand away from himself, "Ow-" he sulks, bottom lip sticking out. "You're such a fucking cave man-" he inhales, "I fucking love it-"

Castiel ignores the comment and lays back suddenly with his hands to himself. Technically he didn't do anything, Dean touched himself and that wasn't illegal. It's a cheap shot at trying to make himself feel better. 

Eventually he turns his head to find Dean already looking at him intensely, "Guess you gotta leave already, huh-" and he nods in confirmation. "I hate this part, havin' to say goodbye-" as soon as his step fathers strong hand lands on the side of his face, his eyes shut automatically in submission. "I wish we weren't wrong-"

Castiel whispers, "We're not wrong-" green eyes look at him beautifully. "I was wrong for everything-I shouldn't have allowed things to become romantic. I just couldn't resist when you begged me for it-"

Dean blushes heavily and the darkness of the room was concealing some of it. "Maybe things would have been better if we waited until I was-" he rolls over right then, leaning into the mans chest and hooks his bare leg over his body. "Maybe Bobby would have understood us better-"

Castiel kisses the top of his head, "Maybe-" his hand explores the teens naked back. "But I'm the adult, I should have stayed away from you." 

There's a knock on his door, "Yea-" the teen calls out a little louder than he meant to while Castiel scrambles to stand in case he needs to make a run for it. Bobby had only approached the bedroom door to let him know that he'd be heading into his own room for the night. "Kay, goodnight-" his tone is awkward.

Castiel runs his hand down his face, "I need to go-" his eyes land on the teens naked body. "And you need to put some clothes on-"

Dean smiles, "I sleep naked. Didn't you know?" 

"You do? Since when?" he's actually surprised by this fact.

The teen lays back again, on his pillow this time with one hand behind his head. "For a while now-" and his eyes close, clearly having a little too much faith that the man will let himself out.

Castiel does just that, lets himself out through the window like some sort of creep in the middle of the night. This wasn't planned, it wasn't supposed to happen but it did. Dean just has a way of getting under his skin, always has. They didn't have sex, so no rules were broken. _Hopefully._

Things were going extremely well at school for Dean, good grades were rolling in and it shocked no one since cars were his thing. The teen had been doing exactly as he was told the last few weeks and every therapy appointment was attended. Dean really was trying to turn things around and it showed, even worked at the diner every now and then. Mostly just on the weekends but it was pocket money and that money allowed him to go out with his friends.

Dean was now going out a lot more, with Ash or Kevin. Sometimes took Robin out for a movie, even pretended to be her boyfriend to keep creepy guys away from her. Things were going great in his book. Castiel was doing things for himself as well, things a man his age should be doing aside from working all the damn time. The guy was still a big nerd and had even joined a book club in his spare time.

Though the books were interesting, the other members were not. Most were married women from the suburbs who car pooled and went to charity events for fun. Which Castiel joined in on one of those and found it to be a complete snooze fest. Literally, he fell asleep at the bar and was never invited again, but book club was free range and he was going every Monday night. 

It was all thanks to Hannah, the new nurse at his hospital. She was the one who had invited him to come and he hasn't looked back since. Finally there were people to talk to about the books he was reading and it was fun.

Some friends were made, but Hannah and Castiel used book club as a means to get away for a few hours and gossip over wine. He was totally one of the girls and was more than alright with that because it was just nice hanging out with adults for a change.

Even if all the book clubs members were all women and even if they looked at him like a snack in scrubs, it was nice to have somewhere to go to now that Dean wasn't accessible to him as often. A few women in the club didn't believe he was gay and were sort of going after him because all they saw were dollar signs where his eyeballs should have been.

Castiel had to admit that one or two of these women were pretty sexy and could have either of them if he wanted. It was tempting and his eyes manage to follow the movement, every time one of these women uncross and recross their legs because they knew blue were were watching.

It was all fun and games, nothing serious. It was a promise made to Dean a while back. _You better friggin' keep it in your pants, Cas._

After a quick glance at his gold watch, he shuts the book that was on his lap and remembers nothing about what he'd just read in the last half hour. When his eyes look up, they meet the pretty eyes of a woman who looked to be his age. Against his better judgement, he smiles at her and the smile is returned. _Shit._ Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

The cellphone in his pocket is buzzing with a call from Dean. Instead of answering the teen, he stands up to introduce himself to the woman who had approached him. "Castiel-" they shake hands. 

"Have fun eye fucking me?" 

Castiel gulps, "Excuse me?" this woman was bold, too bold. "I wasn't-" he stutters. "I have-"

The woman grabs his hand to inspect his fingers. "I don't see a ring-"

Castiel can't help but chuckle, "You got me there-" and tries not to let his eyes wander south, towards her large breasts. His phone buzzes again, "Excuse me, I need to take this-" and rushes outside, leaving the woman hanging mid conversation.

Things will be interesting when it's his turn to host book club next week, knowing that she'll be there. Maybe he'll get lucky and she won't be a psycho. He's got more than he can handle on his hands, there's no need to add someone else to his list of commitments.

"Yes-" he says breathlessly after sliding into the drivers seat of his car. "I didn't forget, Dean. I'm already on my way-"

Bobby had allowed them a night out together, since things had been going so well lately. But things were to be kept strictly platonic and warned them both to keep it so. Castiel was threatened with getting a bullet to the balls if he even suspected that anything went on between them. Of course nothing would happen, nothing could happen. _Or else._ Bobby was a very frightening man when he wanted to be and his threats were taken seriously.

That's how he ends up at the movie theatre in town with Dean waiting for him by the entrance. The teen was biting his nails, pacing back and forth. This wasn't a date by any means, it couldn't be. The duo were simply going to spend some time together and it was only ever going to happen in a public setting, with tons of people around. 

"Dean-" he waves from a short distance.

They meet halfway and share a quick side hug before heading in. To a complete stranger, they might actually look like father and son, aside from the vast difference in hair color. Standing in line waiting for their snacks was pretty awkward as they were surrounded by couples and families. Every time their eyes meet, they look away with a blush on their faces.

Castiel pulls out his wallet, "Nachos?"

Dean nods, "Yea-" his hands are shoved into his jeans pockets. "You know what-" he pulls out his own wallet, "I wanna pay for my own-" 

"Sure-" 

They order separately which is a first, Castiel always ordered and always paid but his wishes to pay had to be respected. Dean was growing up and he had to let him do just that. After getting their snacks and drinks, they head to the movie they had picked out which would be a _Horror_ flick, obviously.

Sitting next to each other is even weirder because their knees bump occasionally. Castiel was distracted, his eyes were looking around at all the couples and it didn't help that everyone seemed to be making out. Everyone except _them._ Dean was oblivious, his eyes were focused on the screen the entire time. Like the cliche, their hands touch by accident when they reach for their soda.

"Sorry-" he says softly.

Dean just reaches for his drink, sucking on the straw because he hadn't even noticed that their hands had touched. When his drink is put down, a thin string of saliva breaks apart between his lips and the straw. Castiel swallows, forcing himself to look ahead of him, to focus on the movie but it's so damn hard. The tension between them seems to be one sided because Dean's as cool as a cucumber right now.

Every time the teen sighs, or moves, his eyes glance over at him instantly. Dean never notices when those blue eyes laser in on him, or is just that good at pretending not to. Castiel seems to blink and the movie is over, he yawns and looks to his side to find the teen already looking at him. His face was lit up by the screens rolling credits and the occasional flashes of light.

"What?" he says quietly, not caring that people were starting to exit.

Dean shakes his head, "Nothin'-" and stands up, drink in hand. "You were snoring-"

Castiel stands, following the teen through the theatre. "Well, I'm exhausted-" he yawns, walking side by side until they're outside and standing in the cold. Their eyes meet and they both smile nervously. "How was your day?" it was time to keep the teen company until his uncle picked him up, which was ridiculous but they weren't trusted to spend time alone in a car yet.

Dean thinks it's so weird that this man hasn't called him _baby_ in a long while. It almost makes him sad, _almost._ "S'good-" he shivers, stuffing his hands into his pockets once again. "This is gonna sound nuts but, why does this feel so normal? Spendin' time together, not fucking-"

Castiel laughs, "Those are boundaries, Dean." and steps closer. "Some people date for a long time before having sex-"

Dean hides a smile by looking away, "What a bunch of freaks-" his uncle seems to be late picking him up so it allows them a few more minutes to chat. "How bout' a kiss?" and he pulls out a few foil wrapped chocolates from his jeans front pocket.

Castiel's spirit dies right then but takes one anyway, "Clever-" and pops it into his mouth.

"Any milfs in your little nerd club?" the teen sucks on the chocolate kiss in his mouth, savoring it a little too much.

Castiel's eyebrows raise in surprise but answers honestly, "Quite a few of them, yes-"

Dean studies the older man, "Do you think about fucking them?" and the words come out a little too casually. "Bet they got some huge ass mommy tits-" 

Castiel looks away, "I don't want you talking like that-"

"But it's fun-" is all the teen says. "You're so lucky, Cas-" they make eye contact. "I kinda wonder what it's like to fuck an older chick-"

That makes Castiel laugh once again, "You want to sleep with an older woman?" and he's not at all jealous about it, instead he's choosing to find some humor in the conversation. "You have some mommy issues I don't know about yet?"

Dean frowns, bottom lip sticking out the slightest bit. "Well, yea-" and the conversation turns heavy. "My mom left me-"

Castiel frowns too and wants to comfort the sad teen but there's still people around and for all he knows this could be a test. Bobby might be parked somewhere and spying on them to see if they can really be trusted or not.

Dean looks away casually, "You're hosting the next one right?" hands stuffed into his jackets pockets.

"Don't tell me you want to join us?" the question is a joke but the teen agrees. "It's not really your thing-"

Dean licks his bottom lip quickly before saying, "I don't know man, maybe we'll have a threesome or something-" the look on the older man's face has him backtracking. "Learn to take a fucking joke, Cas."

They both know the truck honking in the distance was Bobby, even without looking. After another few short minutes of conversation, Castiel walks the teen to his uncles vehicle and says "Take care, Dean-" 

Dean gives him a quick side hug before jumping inside, "Sure, Cas-" then gives him a secret wink as he pulls on his seat belt with uncle completely oblivious to it.

Castiel watches the truck drive off before going in search of his car in the parking lot. Surely Dean was just pushing his buttons by saying something so scandalous and it wasn't the first time he's said such a thing. The boy really had his fathers mouth, while completely sober.

The drive home passes in a blur, his thoughts are with Dean and the things he had said only moments prior. By the time he's already showered and laying in bed for the night, his mind has jumped to the women in his book club.

Particularly one woman, the one who checked his hand for a ring. She did have big tits, big lips too. Perfect for kissing, among other things.

Castiel hadn't noticed when his hand had wandered underneath the waistband of his boxers. The thought of being with someone his own age excites him, even if it was a woman. Curiosity is normal, that's all this is.

His hand emerges from where it had gone to and now hes thinking about what book he will choose for their next read. This club is something he enjoys, meaning he's determined not to ruin it.

The following morning Dean finds his dear uncle sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper, "Mornin' Bobby-" he drawls as soon as he's entered the kitchen. "Hows it hangin'-"

Bobby doesn't look up from his paper and says, "Very low-"

Dean's pouring himself a cup of coffee and looks over his shoulder, "Well, that's disturbing-" then takes a seat at the table with a simple slice of burnt toast. He eyes his uncle seriously, "How low we talkin' about anyway-"

The man humors him, "Gotta be careful when I sit down, for one-" and finally puts his paper down. "Go on, time to get going-" 

"But bobby, this convo is kinda completing me right now-" 

Bobby groans in humiliation, "Boy, if ya don't get the hell outta my kitchen-" the tone is lighthearted, but still threatening.

"Yea, I'm goin'-" the teen huffs, "No need to whoop my ass-" and takes his coffee to his bedroom to get himself ready for the day.

Bobby had been pretty lenient when it came to his truck these days, allowing for his nephew to drive it into town for class on certain days when he wouldn't be needing it. Today was one of those days, luckily for Dean. The teen drives to town with a smile on his face all the while singing along to his favorite songs. The freedom was all too real and no one was in the passenger seat to judge his choice of music.

Crazily enough, he ends up singing along to that girly rock song he'd heard on the radio when he was hanging out with his friend.

School went smoothly that day as it usually did and even got a passing grade on his work which shocked him a little. Getting good grades in school wasn't a normal thing for him, but this, this he was good at and it showed. Dean had the highest marks in the class, his new best buddy came in second. It was pretty fucking nice to be a _nerd_ for once, even if he was only being graded on his knowledge for vehicles.

Now that he's compiled enough paperwork with good grades on them, the excitement for showing them to his step father grows by the week. Since he brought the truck today, he didn't need a ride from Ash but it was his turn to return the favor since the elder teens vehicle was acting up. 

Dean drives up to the small house, eyes zoning in on the property. "Home sweet home huh-" and jumps out of the truck that was pretty high up. The thought that he still might be sort of short is something that doesn't occur to him. It's got to be the trucks tires, they're huge. "So, where is she?" 

Ash walks ahead him, towards the back of the house. "Back here-" and then pops the hood of the older vehicle. "I got a new transmission, but I need help putting it in-"

The younger teen smiles, already on his way to where the new transmission was perched up on a large picnic table. "Ready?" they both haul the thing up, carrying it over to the car. "I can take out the old one myself-" he says, sort of bragging. 

After the new transmission is snuggled in where it should be, they wipe their hands on a rag to clean up and crack open a beer to share. They pass it back and forth for a couple of sips, then Dean lights his last cigarette and doesn't share it. Ash didn't mind because he's got his own stash in his bedroom. 

"So-" Dean exhales smoke through his nostrils, somewhat like a bull. "Where are your folks at?"

Ash doesn't look at him, "Don't got parents-"

Dean sucks in another drag, "Yea-" and exhales through his nose once again. "I don' either, got an uncle and a-" the sentence dies down. "You'd like my uncle Bobby, fixes cars too-"

Ash nods with a smile, "Sounds like a cool guy-" 

Dean takes a stuttering breath, the smoke was burning in his chest and it was somewhat enjoyable. "You're welcome to stop by anytime-" the invite is genuine and hopes it's taken. "Nice havin' a buddy that's into cars-"

Ash suddenly tosses his empty beer can onto the unkempt lawn and drags the younger teen into his home. Dean is surprised by the movement but quickly scans his surroundings- maybe it's a trauma reaction, but he always makes himself aware of where he is and with who- and his cigarette stays between his fingers. Ash didn't seem like the type to care if you smoked indoors, so an effort to ditch it isn't made.

The older teen ends up dragging him to his room by the back collar of his flannel, "What the hell you doin' man-" his tone is kinda nervous. But Ash grabs a stack of playboys from his dresser drawer, tossing them on the bed to show them off. Even though he's got his own place, the guy was still a teenager and playboys were the currency, "Shit-"

"Look at this-" Ash opens up one of the magazines- _Busty Asian Beauties-_ showing him a specific page. "Isn't she hot?"

Dean grabs the magazine, cigarette between his dry lips and sucks. "Big tits-" and exhales as he sits down on the bed. "Mind if I borrow this one?" he flips through the pages mindlessly, cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. "I kinda dig the Asian chicks-"

"Keep it-" Ash says, sitting down on the bed as well. "So Dean, you got a girlfriend?" 

The dreaded question is asked and Dean hesitates to answer. He goes with, "Not at the moment-" instead. 

"I don't either-" he sighs, "Girls want you to buy them stuff, spoil em and right now I just don't have the cash for it."

"Hmm-" is his response, the conversation isn't awkward at all, it actually feels normal to talk like this. "I kinda dig brunettes too-" he admits, without specifying genders. "With blue eyes-" it's said so casually.

Ash stands, "Are you hungry?"

Dean simply nods, taking a final drag before putting out the cigarette on the ashtray that was on the nightstand. After a few minutes he makes his way to the kitchen with the playboy folded under his arm. "You know what man, I gotta take off-"

Ash was in the middle of searching his fridge for something to feed the Winchester and gives up right then. "Think you'll make it back home safe?" and it's only asked because it was getting pretty dark out.

Dean nods and they shake hands, "Yea man, don't worry about it-" and it's no surprise that he's so polite and respectful with the handshakes because Castiel has taught him very well indeed. 

The younger teen walks out front to where the truck is parked and climbs in. After a quick few honks of his horn, the truck peels away slowly, headlights practically blinding Ash in the doorway. The drive is smooth, except for the fact that he feels pretty fucking lost. He's got GPS on his phone but it's useless since there isn't much of a signal out there.

Dean ends up parking at a gas station, shooting a quick text to his step father just to see if he can help him somehow. They're on a family plan, so Castiel always has his location at hand if needed. Castiel quickly responds, letting him know that he'll be coming as soon as he can which Dean hopes is pretty fucking soon. This gas station seems sketchy, plenty of weird people coming and going.

He's got to pee pretty fucking badly too but isn't willing to risk getting off the truck. The teen waits in the safety of the vehicle for a good thirty minutes before his step father finally arrives. Luckily he had that playboy to glance at so it's not like he had been bored the whole time. But now, he's hard in his jeans and he's got to pee. Not a good combination by any means.

Dean jumps out of the truck to meet the older man and they side hug for a brief moment. "Sorry, I got lost all the way out here-"

Castiel walks around the truck once to make sure it's in tact, mostly focusing on checking the tires. "What were you doing here?" the question is asked mindlessly

"My friend lives out here-" their eyes meet. "Had to give him a ride-"

"What's wrong?" 

Dean had been squirming, "Have to pee but I didn't wanna-" and the older man starts walking towards the gas station and he follows closely behind. "I'll be quick-" 

Castiel follows him into the bathroom and he uses the urinal as well, both of them trying not to look at each others junk. After they zip up, Dean grabs a soda from the fridge and pays for it himself and Castiel didn't stop him from doing so. 

"Just follow me-" he says before sliding into his car and the teen sprints to the truck on the other side of the parking lot. 

Dean drives with full confidence now because he's got somebody to follow back home. Driving out here on a whim was pretty stupid, but at least he knew where his friend lived and hopefully wouldn't get lost next time. When they reach the old dirt road that leads them home, they part ways when Castiel reaches his house first and Dean keeps going a few more yards.

As soon as he walks through the door, Bobby is all over him and is asking him a whole bunch of questions. "Relax, I was with a friend-" but the man doesn't believe him for a second. "Alright fine, I got lost and Cas came to bail me out-" the clock on the wall was reading almost ten in the evening which wasn't helping his case. "I swear, Bobby. We didn't do nothin'-"

There's a knock at the door which they both can clearly see that it's Castiel. Bobby opens the door in no time at all, "He really get lost or is he lyin'-" 

"Got lost coming back from his friends place-" he steps in, "-had him follow me back."

Only then, Bobby believes the story and who can blame him. They hid an entire illegal relationship behind his back for a long time and neither of them was fully trusted yet. Castiel doesn't stay long, only having stopped by to make sure he wouldn't be getting into trouble for the evenings unplanned mishap.

After dinner when Dean finally gets into bed, there's a few texts waiting for him. There's one from Kevin, another from Ash letting him know he did a good job replacing the transmission, and a final one from Castiel.

_Bobby give you a hard time?_

Dean dials him instead of responding to the text and the call is answered almost instantly. "Yea, he did-" 

"Sorry about that-" there's movement on his end of the line. "Have a good day baby?" the word slips out, "Well, did you?"

Dean smiles fondly, "Yea-" and rolls onto into his stomach, chin propped up on the pillow like a middle school girl who was talking to her crush on the phone. "Yours?"

Castiel sighs heavily into the phone and it sounds damn sexy. "I'm tired-" another heavy sigh. "As usual-"

The teen bites his lip, it had been too long since they've been _together._ Almost six weeks give or take, but it felt like months. He listens to the older mans raspy voice going on and on about something on the other end of the line. "Yea-" is all he responds every now and then to let him know that he's listening. But he's not hearing him, rather focused on the sound of his voice.

Dean rolls over onto his back and yes, he's so hard. "Damn it, Cas-" he sighs longingly. "I need you-" there's a frustrated sigh on the mans end of the phone. "I'm so fucking horny, Cas-"

"Then take care of it-" his voice is stern, not giving the teen wiggle room to convince him to _play_ with him. "Goodnight, Dean-"

"Daddy-" he huffs, almost moaning. It's no surprise when his step father stays on the line regardless of his goodbye. "Are you there Daddy-"

"Dean-" there's a warning to his tone. "Behave-"

"Come on-" the teens voice is soft, "Don't you wanna be bad with me-" and barely above a whisper.

It's surprising when Castiel chuckles and says, "Goodnight, Dean." before the line goes dead.

Dean can't fathom that the guy was able to resist being called _daddy._

The following Monday night, Castiel opens the front door to see the teen standing there. "You seriously didn't think I'd forget about your little book club did you-" and steps inside the mans home. 

Instantly every single woman looks up at pretty teen boy before them, and they smile. "Evening, ladies-" he smiles charmingly at all of them. He looks over his shoulder, "Come on Cas, not polite to keep your guests waiting-"

Castiel resumes his seat on the living room couch with all eyes on him, including Deans. _Shit,_ hopefully no one will be able to tell that there's something going on between them. But why would they assume, the newest guest is clearly underage and technically his step son.

"So, where were we?" 


	64. Do Or Die

The ladies are chatting among themselves and walking around the home like it's a damn hotel lobby while Castiel prepares the refreshments. Dean doesn't like it at all, every damn chick in here reeks of repressed sexual tension. Not to mention their heels clicking and clacking with every step they take. He came here thinking he'd become the center of attention, but he's not. _Far_ from it.

The women are occupied with _Cas,_ the doctor. It's a damn threat and he's smart enough to smell it on every single of them. They _want_ him, and why wouldn't they. The mans got a big house, even if it was a little on the older side and he's got enough cash that would probably allow him to have a few wives, rather than just the one. All these women looked hungry, and they wanted to sink their teeth into _his_ step father. 

Maybe he's just being over jealous and protective, perhaps his anxiety is acting up, making him think these chicks want to steal his man. His eyes examine everyone, from head to toe, all the while listening in on their conversations as he walks around the home undetected. It pisses him off that no one is talking to him, it's clear that he's a minor, but aren't they curios as to _who_ he is?

After a while Dean finds out that one of them is married and having an affair with her teenage pool boy, guess she's not above dating younger. _What a damn cougar._ While another one of them is single and collecting child support checks from three different men. If he's not careful with this one, Castiel could become her fourth baby daddy and that's only going to happen over his dead body.

Dean reaches over and grabs one of the extra copies of this weeks book. He mumbles the title of the book softly to himself - _The southern book club's guide to slaying vampires-_ before opening it and flipping through the pages to see if it's any good. His eyes skim quickly over the first page, actually managing to read quite a few sentences before the ladies begin to flood the living room once again.

Right then, Castiel comes in with a large tray filled with goodies any woman would love to snack on. Finger sandwiches, grapes and those expensive chocolates that would seem more appropriate for Valentines Day. The women of the book club crowd him by the coffee table, taking what they please from the tray but knowing all too well that they want him instead. Unfortunately he's not on tonight's menu.

Dean softly asks, "They know your gay right?" into the older mans ear when he takes a seat on the couch next to him. 

Castiel flinches at the damn warmth of the question, "Dean-" and moves to open his copy of the book. "I don't have time to talk about my sexuality right now, I like both-" 

Dean's eyes widen, "Oh so now you like both-" and then quickly gazes at the women in front of them, who were scrambling to pull up their chairs as close to them both as they could. "So what, flavor of the week then?" 

Castiel threatens, "Not now-" and gives the teen a certain _look_ that has him backing down instantly.

While everyone reads and discusses every chapter, the teen sulks on the couch while sitting next to his step father. The whole ordeal must have lasted almost two hours before the women start yawning and Castiel calls it quits for the night.

"Guess we'll pick this up next week-" and one by one, each woman stands. One of them asks who the teen happens to be and he simply says, "My son-"

Dean nearly chokes on one of the finger sandwiches that he'd been munching on. The lady mentions how he's almost blonde and he simply answers, "His mom was really white-" and that's the end of that explanation. That answer always seemed to work, no one ever pushed the matter further.

Castiel walks the ladies to their cars since it was late and he was a gentleman. Even if he wasn't completely straight, the respect for women was there. By the time he walks up the porch steps, the teen is waiting for him by the open door. "What?" 

Dean blushes, "Nothin'-" there's a hint of a smile on his lips. Once inside, the subject is quickly changed. "So that blonde chick, she's got huge jugs-"

Castiel groans, "Don't be disgusting-" and smacks the teens head like a real father might have done after his child had said such a thing. "I want to be friends with these women-" they chat casually while cleaning up in the living room. "That means I want you on your best behavior around them-"

"Why do you want chicks as friends?" Dean asks innocently as he follows his step father with an open trash bag in his hands that's quickly getting filled. "Don't you want like, a guy friend-"

"Well, to put it kindly-" Castiel says, "I hate men. You can thank your father for that one-" and says nothing more about it.

The teen nods in understanding, knowing the kind of damage his father must have done to him. John has beat the man up, raped him and played around with his mind for a long time. They still haven't really talked about how his ex lovers death had affected him, if at all. But it must have hurt something awful, why else would Castiel get himself drunk the same night they found out that John had died.

"Dean?" the teen looks up, blinking in confusion because he had zoned out again. "Go take that outside-" his eyes glance at the full bag in his hands. "Now, Dean."

The teen nods quickly and stumbles on his way out through the screen door to dispose of the trash in his hand. When he comes back from the task he'd been given, the older man surprises him by wrapping those strong arms around him that always managed to make him feel save and loved. 

"I love you-" he admits, "Never think I don't. I just need to be careful-" they sway slightly in the doorway, as if dancing to romantic music that wasn't there.

"Sorry my dad hurt you so much-" Dean says, "Sorry he fucked you up so-"

Castiel looks away briefly, his eyes suddenly burning and pries himself away from the embrace. "That was years ago, I'm fine-" there's hesitation. "I'm passed it-"

Dean stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets, "Yea-okay, Cas." and that's that. "I better get home before Bobby loses it-" before leaving though, he has to ask something. "You're not gonna fuck any of these chicks right?"

Castiel smiles warmly, "No-" and steps closer. "Besides, you were the prettiest girl in the room tonight." his fingers brush through the teens light brown hair.

Dean blushes, his eyes looking up at the man towering over him. "You're just sayin' that-" and soon rough lips are pressing firmly against his own. Their tongues meet briefly, and part a little too soon. It's almost as if his uncle could sense something because Metallica starts blaring in his pocket. "Shit, don't wanna go-" the words are whispered painfully.

Castiel plants a final gentle kiss on his lips, "Come on. You gotta go-" the teen curses under his breath and his own frustration comes out. "Watch your fucking mouth-" his hand cups the boys jaw roughly. 

Dean sucks in an aroused breath, "Love it when you get rough with me-" and he's pressed against the door frame. "Just like that-" and they kiss sloppily for another few minutes before he's thrown out of the house before things have a chance to escalate further. "Bye!" he yells at the shut door, half laughing.

When Dean makes it home, his uncle yanks him inside the house by the front of his shirt. "Bobby!" he yelps, "What's the matter with you!" and he's shoved into his room, the door shuts behind him. "Bobby, the fuck!"

"I told you to be home at nine!" he roars, "Yer grounded boy!"

Dean laughs, "Seriously-" and pulls his shirt over his head, drops it on the floor. Jeans come next, and he steps out of those too and falls onto the bed half nude. The man continues the lecture from outside the door and he just rolls his eyes, ignoring it. Eventually yelling, "Yea, I got it!" once he's had enough scolding for one day.

"Clean ya damn room!" and that's the final blow.

The teen winces at the loudness of the mans voice and looks around the bedroom. It really did need to be cleaned and he was going to have to get it done. He's so used to Castiel picking up after him, so used to him doing his laundry and even folding it up and putting it away in it's place. Dean pulls on a fresh shirt from the pile of clean clothes and gets to work.

Now that the temporary insanity has left him, the consequences of his actions are settling in and it's not good. Dean doesn't know what possessed him to start fucking up after doing so good the last few weeks. His father had called him bipolar once, maybe it was true and maybe he should be on some kind of pill for it. Nah, _Never._ Those fucking things scare him more than being a little wild does.

It took almost two hours for him to clean his room and put everything away. Suddenly it hits that he's got way too many fucking clothes and way too many fucking action figures laying around. It's time to simplify his life and this shit has no place in his life anymore. The teen grabs a box, the one his former pet lived in for less than 48 hours and starts tossing all his junk away.

By the time he's done _simplifying,_ one item is left, one item from his childhood that he doesn't want to part with. _Ever._ That item was an old remote control car that Castiel had gotten him on their first Christmas together. It was only cool because it was a Batmobile and he loved that thing for the longest time. Dean lifts the heavy box from the floor and heads out.

Bobby says, "What the hell are ya doin at his hour-" when he walks by the living room with a box hugged to his chest.

The box containing most of his past is abandoned by the fence where the trash bin was for pick up tomorrow. Maybe he'd get rid of more things. Dean wanted to start off fresh and what better way to do that than by throwing out old junk. His new boring life started weeks ago, tossing his old crap was just solidifying it.

"Sorry bout stayin' out late-" he apologizes when he goes back inside. "Kinda feel like I'm a prisoner in the house sometimes, makes me go a little crazy-"

Bobby nods in understanding because he remembers all too well what it's like to be a teenager, "Then hangout with one of yer friends, go do somethin'-"

"I get it-" he sighs, "I just miss him." 

It's near the end of October and Halloween is fast approaching which he and Ash make plans. Kevin was invited, but Halloween was something he wasn't allowed to celebrate for some reason. Robin was invited too, as a courtesy, but she had a date with some guy she met at the diner during a shift.

So that just leaves Dean and Ash, and they weren't going to be getting up to anything good.

The plan for the night was simple and it was intended to make Castiel scream like a girl. While they plan this, Dean tells Ash about his step father and these little details slip out of him like sweet nothings. The older teen can't figure out why his friend talks so much about his step father and simply hums with little to no interest at the volunteered information.

By now, Ash thinks he knows Castiel very well. He knows that the guy likes books, loves coffee and has a nightly skincare routine because he's getting a little older _._ Those were Dean's exact words and it sort of makes him want to laugh, but out of respect, not a peep escapes him. 

This prank they planned to pull off was pretty tame, but it was better than anything else they could think of. It was only going to be a minor scare, Castiel shouldn't be too angry about it. They were supposed to unleash a box of roaches in the kitchen and let the rest play out. It was a pretty tame prank but it was surely to make somebody scream, if not Castiel. Tonight was book club night too, it was perfect. 

They hadn't seen much of each other, Dean and Castiel, the last two weeks after they were starting to slip again. So nothing could have prepared him for what he was going to see that night. Ash is leading the way and they slowly walk up to the mans house, around back. The two teens peek into windows with no such luck, every curtain was hiding the inside of them.

Dean whispers, "Over here-" and peeks into the living room, the only window with the curtains wide open. 

The guy wasn't alone, there was a woman sitting next to him on the couch and he recognizes her instantly from book club. Dean was aware that it was taking place tonight, hence the roaches. He wanted so badly to hear them all scream and run away, never to return to his step fathers home. But, there was only one woman inside and things looked cozy.

Ash asks, "What wrong?" 

Dean ignores the question, his heart is beating a mile a minute. Castiel brushes the woman's hair out of her eyes, a soft smile on his face. The whole scene looked romantic, sort of like a date. 

_Was this a date? Where were the other women? Did Cas lie?_

All he wants to do is barge in there and drag the woman out of the house by her stupid fluffy hair. His eyes water slightly and hopes the elder teen won't notice it. Castiel actually leans closer, as if to kiss her and he can't take it anymore.

"Dean!" Ash hisses, going after him. "So, we're not gonna-" he asks once he's caught up to his friend.

Dean shakes his head, "No-" and his eyes are fixed dead ahead on the road. 

"Why does it bother you-" he says casually, not thinking this is a big deal.

Dean yells, "Because!" and they both stop walking. "I-I don't want a step mom." it's a damn lie but it was better than saying he was in love with the man.

Ash smiles, "But she's got big tits-" and they continue walking. "Maybe she'll let ya suck on em-" although the phrase does sound like a joke, it pisses him off.

"I can find my own tits to suck on, he's mi-" and the sentence is dead right here. "Fucking sluts-" Ash says, _Who?_ "All of them! All the friggin' bitches in that stupid book club-"

Ash wraps an arm around him in a friendly manner, almost in a brotherly way. "Man, you gotta let the guy have some pussy-" and the words shock him, but of course his friend had no idea that his step father happens to like dick. "Poor guy looks all wound up and shit-" they reach Bobby's place. "What could it hurt to let em' have some?"

Dean thinks about it, images of Castiel fucking that chick on that couch come flooding in and it's weird because the lady is pretty hot. Against his better judgement, his teenage body full of hormones has him fattening up in his jeans. "Where are the roaches?" the question suddenly comes to him too, not seeing his friend with the box in his hands.

Ash scratches the back of his head, "I let them out on his front por-" and right then a woman's screams could be heard in the distance. 

"Damn it, Ash!" Dean yells, "What the hell did you do that for!-" and now the prank seems like the dumbest idea in the world. 

"I wasn't gonna waste a good prank just because some chick was there-" his tone is calm and cool. "Look, I'll tell him it was all my idea-" and that wouldn't make this any better because Castiel doesn't like Ash. Like at all, thinks his hair is a bad look.

Dean sighs heavily, "Man, just go home-" and the teen nods his head before walking over to his car. Once the elder teens car disappears from view, he makes his way next door to apologize for the roaches.

Castiel was on the front porch stepping on the bugs and sweeping them into a pile with a broom. The teen gulps when the guy looks up, "Get in-" _Shit._ They both head inside and Castiel pulls out a bowl of candy, handing it to him. "Happy Halloween-" 

Apparently he had no clue that that he'd been a victim of a dumb prank. It looked like he just wanted to celebrate the holiday with him like they did every year. Dean can't help but feel jealous of the woman who was in here tonight but at least he's not in trouble.

Dean sits down on the couch with the bowl of candy on his lap, "You looked pretty cuddly with that lady-" his tone clearly expresses his jealousy.

Castiel raises an eyebrow before taking a seat next to him. "Her husband is cheating on her with the babysitter, "I was merely comforting her." there's a knock on the door, "It's open!"

Dean rolls his eyes as soon as his uncle walks into the living room, "Really can't leave us alone for a second can he-"

Bobby had arrived with a box of pizza in hand, "Nah, I really can't-" and sits in the armchair in the corner.

"Greeaatt-" 

Throughout their little horror movie marathon, Dean's head rests on the back of the couch and his eyes are looking at his step father. It was pretty dark in the living room so it goes undetected, it allows him to admire the soft features of the older mans face. His legs spread wider so now they touch Castiel's and quickly he looks over to meet his gaze. Blue eyes give him a warning in between flashes of light that are coming from the television. 

Dean ignores it and hooks his leg over the older mans. It doesn't take long before Castiel wraps an arm around the couch, and tries to look extremely casual. Bobby isn't paying them no mind, but they can't risk it. Dean ends up crossing his legs after a few minutes, a large hand rubs the back of his neck mindlessly and tugs at the hair there. It always makes him melt inside, when Castiel does this.

Bobby speaking up suddenly startles them, but from his angle it didn't look like they'd been doing anything. "Gonna head back-" he stands and stretches, "I wan't ya home soon-" his nephew nods in understanding. "If ya don't come back by nine, I'll-"

"You'll drag my ass to hell-" Dean salutes him lazily, "Got it-"

"Good boy-" and the bearded man is off, but not before taking one last slice of pizza with him and a handful of candy. 

Castiel waits until the door slams shut and turns to face the teen, "Don't start-" their eyes meet and they do the lip thing, the one where they can't stop staring at each others lips. "Please, behave-"

Dean licks his lips before pressing them against his step fathers and pulls away just long enough to whisper the words "God, Cas-" his hands wind up on broad shoulders and lets them explore. All that hard muscle underneath the mans button up shirt felt so damn good right then.

Castiel pulls away a little but clearly not wanting to, "Don't do this to me-" now the teen was kissing his neck tentatively. "Dean, are you trying to get in trouble-"

Dean pulls away, "You're just so fucking sexy, Cas-" and his hands are running up and down the older mans chest. "I get why all those chicks wanna fuck you-"

The man looks away as if trying to hide the blush on his face, "They do not-" 

"They all wanna ride your dick, Cas-" and he straddles his lap, arms wrapping around his neck. The older man gulps, eyes blinking rapidly. "It would be so hot-" he whispers into his ear, "Watching one of em' ride you though-"

Castiel growls in his chest before tossing the teen onto the opposite end of the couch and hovers above him, "You wanna watch me fuck a woman? Show you how it's done?" his voice is dominant, but unsure. This is just dirty talk, something that's being said mindlessly in the moment.

Dean inhales sharply, "Yea, kiss me-" 

Castiel kisses the teen softly, his tongue meeting his every now and then. The horror movie on the television continues to play and it lights them up in the darkness. They're a few minutes into it before his large hands run underneath the teens shirt to feel his soft skin. They both had forgotten how pleasurable making out can be, regardless if sex followed or not.

Dean moans sweetly, "Ugh-" when a long tongue flicks at one his nipples. It's not until Metallica goes off in his front pocket that the fun ends. "Fucking Bobby-" 

Castiel kisses his lips once more, "You're so pretty-" and the teen blushes under him. "I want you-" they kiss softly. "-only you. I don't want anyone else." 

Metallica goes off in the teens pocket once again, "Damn it, Bobby-" and pushes the older man off him. "I gotta go-" they share a loving look that clearly portrays _I miss you._ "Bye-" there's a quick final kiss before he's gone.

When Dean enters the house, Bobby tells him to pack it in already and head to bed because he's got class tomorrow. But of course he doesn't go to bed right then, there's something in his jeans that needs to be taken care of first. Dean pulls off his shirt and kicks off his jeans before letting himself fall onto the bed. He takes his time with the task this time, his breaths coming in heavily and slow.

His hand is wrapped loosely around himself. _Up, down, up down._ His eyelashes flutter against his flushed cheeks until suddenly the idea comes to him and his phone is in his hand in no time. Dean then stares at an old picture of Castiel while chasing his orgasm in the most agonizingly slow way, because he wants _feel_ it.

The teens eyes close for just a moment and his hips start thrusting upwards. Quickly his eyes focus on the photo of the older man again, who was fully nude in bed with his glasses on and a book in his hand. Nothing to cover his extreme nakedness, nothing but a thin bed sheet over some of his bare lap. 

Dean misses living with him so much that it almost hurts. His orgasm is approaching but so are the tears and those are blinked away until he's finished. "Ugh-" he moans suddenly when he spills all over his hand and stomach. "Ugh, shit-" It's not long before he's hauling his sticky body out of bed for a quick shower. 

Dean heads over the next day to mow his step fathers lawn and when the job is done, he enters the home and finds the guy in his office. He leans against the doorway, hands jammed into his front pockets and simply observes him on the computer. His eyes shut for a moment, savoring the sound of his typing. God, how he misses that sound being available to him late at night. It almost served as a lullaby, so many of his evenings were spent dozing off to this sound.

"All done, Cas-" he steps inside the spare room once he's done being nostalgic. "I'm gonna head home now-" 

Castiel slowly spins his chair around, "Come sit on daddies lap-" the teen almost chokes on his saliva. His legs spread open and he pats his thigh thigh in invitation. "Come on-"

Dean swallows, "We're not supposed to-"

Castiel's voice is firm, "I said, come to daddy didn't I?" The teen nods quickly, inching closer. "Then come sit sweetheart-"

Dean's eyes lose in arousal and he goes over to the man, taking a seat on his knee as if he was about to tell Santa Clause what he wanted for Christmas this year. 

Castiel's heart seems to fall to his stomach because the teen was feeling a little light again. Not as heavy as a few weeks ago, yet not as light as before moving here. Their physical separation has been hard, now hes seeing just how hard it's been on him too. 

"You're such a beautiful boy-" he comments, his hand sneaks it's way underneath the teen's shirt to feel his backside and some areas are feeling a little _bony_ again. "I love you-"

Dean inhales deeply, the exhales. The feel of warm fingers exploring his chest now and rubbing his nipples felt good. So good that his back is arching into the touch. Eventually his arm goes around his step father's neck, gripping his shirt from behind to hold himself up.

"I miss you-" Castiel breathes, "I miss your body-" and gives the teens neck a quick kiss. "-how it feels against mine."

Dean moans loudly, whoreish. "Cas-" and then positions himself so that he's straddling the older man, grinding down on him so that their denim covered privates can rub against one another. "Ugh-"

Castiel's hesitates for a quick moment before his hands land on the teens waist, guiding him, helping him move in a way that feels good for them both. His eyes are focused on the teen above him, moving and groaning. He's extremely focused those pretty pink lips that are just a tad bit parted

It's an open invitation which he does accept and goes in for the kill. Shoving his tongue into his mouth with all that he's got while they dry hump each other to climax. It took a little longer to get there with the thick layers of denim keeping them apart but they both managed. Eventually they're both breathless messes, holding onto each other until they both calm down.

Castiel speaks first, "That was-" and swallows, unable to continue. 

Dean sighs, "Awesome-" and the man under him starts becoming uncomfortable, something was wrong. "What?" he pulls away, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Don't tell me you gotta poop right now-"

Castiel looks away for just a second, "I don't-" now their eyes meet. "Listen, Dean- you're feeling a little light again." and it's the best way he can find to mention the issue at hand at this present moment because his mind is scrambled.

Dean's still confused until finally realizing it, "You didn't want to have sex with me just now-" the man shakes his head. "You mean to tell me that you wanted to _check_ me?" his voice is getting angry, "See if I lost weight again?" the man under him swallows, looking away. "You son of a bitch-" and he stands, pushing the man back which causes the chair to fall backwards.

"Dean-" he huffs, wincing at the pain now in his back after falling off the chair.

"Fucking asshole!" Dean yells right before he's straddling the older man on the floor and his hands go around his neck. "I hate you!" his hands threaten to squeeze the life out of him. "I should fucking kill you!" 

Castiel's eyes widen, "Nnn-" his own hands wander to the teens waist, gripping tightly.

Dean blinks, letting go because something was rubbing against his denim covered ass. "Seriously? You sick fuck-" he slaps the man in the face, who then moans like a whore. "Fucking freak-" he does it again, another moan. "Keep forgetting that you get off on this shit-" 

Castiel clears his throat, "I want to be dominated-" the confession is sudden, especially at this odd moment. "Hurt me, Dean. Please-"

Dean either looks like he wants to laugh or punch him, it's hard to tell. "Uh, what?" guess he's more confused than anything right now. "You want me to hurt- what?"

Castiel sucks in a shaky, "Hurt me-" and his hips begin to buckle upwards, rubbing himself against the teens firm ass. "Fuck me, anything you want-"

Dean starts laughing, "You really are a fucking freak-" although still pissed about getting body _checked,_ his love for this man is ever present even if it's quite messed up at times. He gives into the idea, "I'm not Dexter so don't expect things to ever get bloody between us-"

Castiel chuckles, "Are you sure about that? You've made me bleed more than once-" and he's talking about the several punches to the face he's received at the boys hand. "You're telling me you never got _hot_ after hitting me?"

Dean looks away for a few seconds, "Kinda, yea-" their eyes meet. "When you piss me off, yea. I like seeing you suffer-"

Castiel bites his lip, "Is this something you want to explore with me?" his tone is a little nervous because it's a journey that's never been taken with a lover. "I'd only do this with you-"

Dean nods quickly, still not entirely convinced on the idea and stands up. "I gotta get back before Bobby loses his shit-" he offers his hand for the older man to take, which he does, and helps him off the hardwood floor. "By the way, I don't hate you. But I guess you're used to me sayin' crap I don't mean-"

Castiel stretches out his sore back with a smile on his face, "I know-" and plants a kiss on top of the teens sweaty hair. "But I like when you're mean to me-"

Dean blinks, "What kinda freak are you?" there's some humor in his voice so it doesn't offend him at all. 

Castiel places a heavy hand on the boys shoulder, "You know that thing you like?" their eyes are focused on each other. "Where you like to be humiliated?" the teen gulps, knowing exactly what he means. "I like it too-"

Dean inhales dreamily, "I can humiliate you. Oh my God, I can fucking humiliate you-" the smile on him is priceless. "Cas, I was made to torture you. You know how much I fucking love to make you crazy-" 

Castiel laughs, "I know baby-" and kisses the teens soft lips quickly. "I know you do-"


	65. Freaks & Geeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Humiliation kink)

Bobby was going to be gone the whole weekend which means that Dean and Castiel would be alone. Both of them had promised to keep to themselves, and the man actually believed them. Either that or was really that damn desperate for a weekend away with his _lady friend._

This is how Castiel found himself on Saturday night, sitting up in bed wearing nothing but his reading glasses and a pair of navy blue boxers. He was expecting the teens presence at any moment now and right then, the sound of the front door creaking open and shutting confirms that he has finally arrived. The book on his lap remains open, as if it still had his full attention but it did not and hasn't for the last half hour.

Dean appears at the open doorway, "Ready to be my bitch, bitch?" his smile is contagious as he leans against the door frame casually.

Castiel smiles with a lip bite, "Mhm-" 

Dean goes into character right away as soon as he approaches the older man in bed, "You're such a fucking nerd, Cas-" and Castiel looks up at him, "Fucking four eyes-" he takes the glasses off the mans face, setting them down on the nightstand.

Castiel swallows, already hard in his boxers. "Keep going-" 

The teen grabs the book that was on the mans lap, flipping through the pages mindlessly. "Think reading all these books is gonna do somethin'-" then throws it across the bedroom. "You're a dweeb, Cas-" his voice is getting louder. "A fucking geek-" the mans chest is rising and falling heavily. "Bet ya never got laid in high school huh-" 

Castiel blinks rapidly as the teen comes closer to him, and his thighs spread open in full submission and trust.

"You were a friggin' virgin till' college, weren't you-" his tone is mocking. "Bet ya wanted to fuck all the girls, am I right?" he nods again, licking his bottom lip. "I think you secretly wanted to bang all the boys too-" that last part is whispered into the mans ear like a secret.

Castiel moans softly, "You know me so well-" because the teens knee was pressing against the space between his legs almost painfully. "I would've fucked you, Dean." there's a look shared between them both. "If I was in school with you, I would've fucked you so hard-" inhales, "It would have been so hot, being the same age-"

Dean swallows his own arousal so that he can stay in character, "Oh yea?" his voice is hard. "You think I would've let some nerd like you fuck me?" his fingers run through the dark hair before tugging. "I would've never looked at you like that, Cas-" his voice is teasing, "I would've kicked your fucking ass if it even looked like you wanted me-"

Castiel bites his lip, "Keep going-" he's so fucking hard, even with the teens knee against his crotch. "You're doing so good-"

Dean nods, not breaking character. "Maybe I would've made you suck my dick, before kicking your ass-" the man moans. "Think nerdy little Cas would have liked that? Getting a taste of Dean Winchesters teenage dick?" he leans in, "Bent me over the teachers desk and fucked me?" his own voice is laced with arousal, "Make me come all over myself-" there's a pause to breathe, "-like the messy boy you know I am."

"Fuck, Dean-" he groans, leaning back onto the headboard for support.

"Would you have begged to fuck my ass?" the teens voice is sultry and beautiful. "Must have been so fucking desperate for sex when you my age, weren't you?"

Castiel nods, "I was-" his eyes are scanning the teens body up and down hungrily. 

Dean smiles devilishly, "Yea? Did you have to jack off a lot -" his voice is more of a cooing, as if he were talking to a little baby. 

"I jacked off a lot-" he admits, arousal dripping from every breath he takes. "I wanted it so _bad-"_ his voice cracks.

Dean bites his lip because he's fucking horny too, "Did you have a big dick in high school?" the man nods eagerly. "Guess none of the girls in your class ever give you a second look huh daddy- with your sweaters and glasses, they thought you were just a fucking loser."

Castiel nods because he hit it right on the mark, completely accurate.

"Poor daddy, no wonder you're always so fucking tense-" he straddles the older mans lap finally and begins to rub his shoulders. "No one ever let you fuck, I bet you would've been good at it-" their lips are only an inch or two apart now. "If only one of those little sluts gave up their pussy for you-"

Castiel groans, "I wanted to fuck them all-" and that makes the teen laugh a little, but quickly puts his game face on. "I would've been such a slut if I had the chance-"

Dean nods and leans forward to whisper, "Bet it took a lot of self control not to just fuck all the sluts in your class huh, bend them over the desk and just pound their fucking pussies-" he moans weakly, nodding. "Imagine, them coming all over your big fucking dick-"

Castiel groans deeply in his chest. "God, yes. I wanted that-" his voice is so rough and broken. 

Dean hums mindlessly, unaware that he had started to grind into the mans crotch beneath him. "You thought about them choking on you too?" and he nods in agreement. "You're a fucking pervert, aren't you?" 

"Yes, I guess so-" his hands grip the teenagers waist possessively. 

"Would you have let me fuck you-" his words are whispered into his ear, "In high school-" and the question is purely hypothetical. 

Castiel breathes in and out roughly, "Yes-" their lips meet for a soft kiss, just one kiss. "I would have been such a whore for you-"

Dean wraps one hand around the mans neck, "Is that right?" he nods. "What makes _me_ so damn special?"

Castiel swallows before saying, "You're so cool and hot-" 

That actually makes the teen laugh again, "I'm flattered-" and bounces lightly on the mans crotch. "You like troubled boys huh, Cas-"

Castiel nods, "Oh yes-" the admission is a moan. "I always wanted-" there's a pause of hesitation. "I always wanted a bad boy, back in high school-"

Dean roughly says, "Bet you would've begged to fuck my ass-" before slapping the mans face, who moans at the contact.

Castiel becomes overly excited, "Mmm, Yes-" his chest rising and falling heavily. "I'd have done anything, anything for you to just pay attention to me-"

Dean smiles, "Oh daddy-" his tone is mocking again. "You'd fucking cum in your khakis before getting to the good stuff, admit it-" and kisses the mans trembling lips quickly. 

"I probably would-" his hips keep buckling upwards on their own every now and then. "I would worship the ground you walked on, you're so bad-" his breath stutters. "I love it when you're bad-" and his large hands try to sneak their way underneath the teens shirt to feel some skin, but his hands are slapped away gently.

"I'd make you lick my dirty ass boots-" he murmurs against the mans lips. "Tell me, were you already gay in high school?" and now it just sounds like Dean is trying to get information from him, about his _past._

Castiel swallows, "I was curious-" their noses rub against each other in an unintended eskimo kiss. "You certainly could've turned me-"

Dean suddenly pushes the older mans shirt all the way up to expose his chest and begins to softly kiss and lick his way up to his nipples. His long tongue lapping and swirling around them, sucking them. His step father becomes a whimpering mess beneath him, begging for something more. He can't help but feel completely powerful, loving the feeling of being in control for once in his life.

Castiel moans, "Fuck me-" their eyes meet. "I wanna get fucked, right now-" the words are rushed before he's reaching into the nightstand for the lube. "Will you fuck me, please?"

Dean's taken off guard but nods in agreement and suddenly a little nervous but surely if he stays in character he'd be able to make this work. "Fine, I'll bang your friggin' lame ass-" the words sound more confident than he actually feels right then. 

Castiel quickly pushes off his boxers and lays back, watching the teen before him undress himself a little clumsily. "Such a fucking bad boy-" his voice is laced with lust and submission. 

"You know it-" his voice is calm and cocky, but inside, hes drowning in his own nerves. "Lemme see that pretty lil' thing-" the man opens his legs, bending himself in half like he's done this dozens of times, which he probably has. It wasn't his thing, to get excited or turned on by a mans ass but he'd make due with this temporary change in roles. "This what you want?" his half hard dick is in his hand, which he's stroking a little quickly to get himself hard enough to fuck the guy. "Good because you're gettin' it-"

Dean drizzles lube all over himself and strokes a few more times, getting himself ready before using his fingers to rub at the mans entrance. "You need it bad, don't you?" and he whimpers quietly, nodding. "You like cock in your ass?" he pulls the man to the edge of the bed using all his strength, so they can be closer while he remains standing.

Castiel can sense his uncertainty of how to proceed so he takes the lube "Let me-" and coats his fingers, working himself open. "I'm ready, you'll do great-" he then reassures his love.

Dean sighs anxiously with a nod before lining up and pushing in slowly. Surprisingly they both moan loudly into the room because the mans ass felt amazing and he couldn't remember it ever feeling this damn good. "Ugh-" he groans, pushing himself inside all the way. "You like that?" he asks softly once he's completely buried inside the tight warmth.

"Yeah-" he moans, "Keep going-"

The teen is fucking into his stepfather while he remains standing until eventually his hips begin to feel tight at this angle, so he rests only one knee on the foot of the bed. It gives him better leverage and an even better angle, allowing him to go deeper and hit the mans prostate every single time. "Ughh-" his bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he shoves his cock in and out of the man at a very menacing pace due to his lack of experience, but they're both enjoying it anyhow.

"Fucking whore-" he grits out tightly, "You love my fucking dick, don't you? Fucking slut-"

Castiel lets out a choking moan from his throat, "So fucking good, so fucking good-" his fingers are gripping the sheets beneath him. "Please, don't stop-" his voice pleads in agony.

Dean blinks away the sweat threatening to roll into his eyes from his forehead, "Such a fucking slut for me aren't ya Cas-" and the man loses it, instantly getting up and man handling the teen where he just was on the bed. He yelps, "The fuck-" because his step father is climbing on top of him and begins to ride him. "Ugh, Cas-" his eyes roll back in his head for a few seconds as he gets used to this new position.

Castiel asks, "This alright?" a little breathlessly as he bounces up and down the teenagers cock. "Not too heavy?"

Dean's mouth is slacked open and his eyebrows are knitted together in complete fascination. All he can mutter is, "You're perfect-" because this was fucking amazing. His eyes scan the older man above him, riding him like the whore he never got to be as a teenager and looked damn beautiful doing it too. His eyes are focused on every line, every muscle on his body. The beads of sweat rolling down his skin looked delicious and actually leans forward to try to get a lick in, but it proved to be impossible.

"Dean-" his broken voice brings him back. "You with me?"

Dean nods frantically, his hand now on the mans hips, helping him up and down. "God-" he groans, "Your ass is so good, why's it so friggin' good-" the sounds of their skin to skin contact was sinful enough, add the moans the man was making were _Priceless._ "You're my fucking slut-" he nods, "Tell me you're my fucking slut-" and okay, maybe he's a little too into the dirty talk right now, but the guy is loving it and so is he.

Castiel groans, "I'm your fucking slut-" and he repeats it a few times before spilling his thickly all over the teens flat and freckled covered stomach.

Dean almost looks to be in awe, mouth slacked open as he props himself on his elbows while still getting ridden by the man. "Ugh, God-" he sucks in a breath, looking completely smitten and aroused by the view above him. "Keep ridin' me-" he asks, because he's so damn _close._

Castiel winces at the sensitivity in his ass but does as he's told, "Almost there baby-" the question sounds desperate.

The teen nods, one of his hands reaches up and finds it's way around to the back of the mans neck. "Yea, m' close-" and pulls him down, wrapping both arms around him now, fucking into the loosened hole until he comes not even a minute later. _"Ugh-"_ his groan sounds completely broken, "Shit-"

Castiel sighs loudly before slowly rolling over so that his love has some room to breathe after such an intense _workout._ Both of them are completely exhausted and drenched in sweat. Not to mention covered in all things sticky, which doesn't feel gross after an awesome fuck but in the morning they both might think differently about it.

They don't kiss lazily afterwards or cuddle, the exhausted pair just fall asleep on the bed, keeping to themselves out of sheer exertion. The sex wasn't planned, only assuming they would mess around and make out a little but surely it was stupid to think nothing would happen. They were playing with fire and being so naive about actually getting burned.

When Bobby comes back from his weekend getaway late on Sunday evening, he's none the wiser to anything that could have happened between the teen and his stepfather. After all he'd come back earlier than he said he would to find his nephew had been out back, working on finishing up a car so nothing rung any alarm bells.

Dean needed a whole day in order to recover from how hard he fucked his step father. It wasn't the first time he's done so, but this was much more _intense._ He wasn't entirely sure he liked it, intense feelings of any kind is something he doesn't enjoy and because of it, he's feeling a lot more _lovesick._ It's like fucking Castiel in the ass like that and having it be _that_ good is making him obsessed. If he wasn't before, he sure as hell is now. 

It's been a few days and Ash was coming over late in the afternoon to help Dean and Bobby with a car that was taking them days to get done. Castiel happened to be over at the exact moment he comes over and as soon as the door opens, Ash gets it. _Brown hair, blue eyes._ When Dean had spoken about his type ever so briefly, those two characteristics stood out to him and it clicks in his mind. Although he's not sure about it, it's better to be sure so he pushes it to the back of his mind.

Maybe it's a coincidence but he doesn't believe in those, not for a long shot. "Dean home?" he asks, even though he must be because they talked just an hour ago. Castiel lets him in without saying much, as usual and he'd gotten the hint that he wasn't entirely liked by the guy. Maybe his hair was the issue, it always gave people the wrong impression, like he was some kind of crazy party animal.

Ash has met his friends stepfather before, maybe once or twice but the interactions were so brief he hadn't really noticed the blue eyes. Surely he would bring it up to Dean, if they got a moment alone without Bobby.

The vehicle took about two hours to fix with the problem only turning out to be something minor but the lesson in mechanics was still appreciated. Bobby leaves the two teens out back because it was time to get started on dinner and he had a feeling that his nephews friend was going to be staying for some grub. 

"Uh-" Ash starts, "Saw your stepdad when he was here earlier-"

Dean wipes his hands on a rag, tossing it onto the open toolbox by his boots. "Yea, so what-" his tone is aloof because he's off guard, thinking nothing of this conversation. Until their eyes meet and becomes a little nervous. "You've met him before, what's the big deal?"

Ash somewhat sits on the front bumper of the vehicle, "You dig brunettes right?" and Dean nods, not getting his point. "Blue eyes?" _Shit,_ he finally looks up like he got busted for something wrong. "Look man, It's cool if you like dudes-" the tone is awkward, uncomfortable even. "But he's like-" there's a pause. " _-old."_

Dean laughs softly, "I don't dudes, man-" and he's wringing his hands and they both know he's a damn liar. "I like girls-"

Ash nods, "I meant what I said." their eyes meet. "You can like dudes and all, I'll still be your friend but-" there's a pause. "Like I said, he's old and he's your fucking stepdad bro-"

Dean gets angry and yells "I don't like guys alright!" his chest is heaving up and down. "-and shut the hell up about my step dad!" he shoves the older boy, who makes no move to retaliate.

Unfortunately Castiel was still there and heard the two teenagers arguing out back, even if he couldn't hear what they were going on about he felt that his presence would make things worse. So he excuses himself from tonight's delicious dinner and once he's gone, Bobby goes outside to tear the two teens apart before things get any uglier. The last thing he wants to do is have to talk to this boys mother or father and explain things away.

"Cut it out!" he roars, pulling his nephew off the older boy. "The hell is the matter with ya!"

Dean falls on his ass after being hauled off his friend, "He started it!" and points at Ash, who happens to have a bloody nose. "He said-!"

"I don't care what he said!" he huffs so loud that both of them instantly refuse to continue the argument. "Ash, you're a good boy. But it's time to get goin' and I'll pack ya somethin' for the road."

Ash stands up and dusts himself off. "Sorry Bobby-" and he walks behind the older man into the house. He's given a heavy paper plate covered with aluminum foil before he's sent off on his way home.

Dean's about to start his shit up again when he enters the house but his uncle cuts him off, telling him to _Shut it_ and wash up for dinner. When he says he's not hungry, the man gets pissed and almost ends up smacking the boy right there at the kitchen table.

"Yer gonna eat because I said so-" he says firmly, standing his ground. "After yer birthday you can do whatever the hell you want-"

Dean nods and shoves the burger into his mouth even though he'd rather be eating dirt right then. "Happy?" he smiles wide with his mouth disgustingly full and his uncle pays him no mind because he's more than used to the boys antics by now. 

The following day after class, Dean is kicking the vending machine because it wasn't dispensing the soda he paid a dollar for. "Come on, damn son of a bitch-" he gives the thing one last kick before turning around to spot his friend leaning against the wall by the buildings exit.

Even though he doesn't know if they're still friends or not, he goes over to him. "We good?" their eyes meet and the taller boy shrugs. "Alright, then-" and he's about to take off but he's stopped.

Ash sighs, "We're good. Don't be such a fucking pussy-"

Dean smiles, shoving him against the wall a little too hard for it to be playful. "Yea and what are you gonna do about it-" and his friend shoves him against the opposite wall roughly before grabbing him and throwing him to the floor in a rough housing manner while laughing like psychopaths in the nearly deserted place.

One of the instructors yells at them to cut it out before security is called and they quickly stop their shit.

"Fuck-" Dean gets up from the floor, "I must be gettin' soft-" and winces at the soreness in his back. "I used to be able to beat kids up at my high school-"

Ash laughs, "This isn't high school buddy-" and wraps his arm around the Winchester. "I like that we can fuck around like this and still be cool-"

Dean snorts, "Right? I love a good fight-" and they exit the school building.

It was still early enough in the day so Dean hitched a ride with Ash and they went on to his place. Dean liked it there even if the house was old and pretty run down, but he was used to old houses anyway. It's the privacy that made him like hanging out there, not the amenities.

Though, he does wish his friend had some more snacks around but it was cool. Ash tosses him a bag of stale, crunch less chips that had been purchased at a dollar store. Maybe Ash should come over to his place since he had way better snacks. Castiel had the best, but obviously they couldn't hang out there and that brings him to the topic of his stepfather.

They were sitting on the couch in the cramped living room for a while when Dean starts, "Listen-" he says before opening the bag of chips that sat between his spread thighs. "I'm not into dudes, alright?" their eyes meet, and there he is again, being in denial about it.

Ash nods and takes a quick swig of his soda, "Do whatever you want, man-" and another swig. "Fuck a dog for all I care-" then he clicks on the remote to change the channel. 

Dean's jaw clenches because his friend doesn't believe him, and why would he when he's very clearly lying about this. Is it really that obvious he's in love with the fucking man? His friend sure does seem to think so. The teen finally digs into the chips between his thighs, angrily munching away on them until the whole thing is gone.

He's licking the salt off each of his fingers when his friend snickers beside him. "What?"

Ash shakes his head, "You licks dicks like that too?"

Dean bites his lip so that he doesn't laugh, "Fuck you-" and reaches over for his soda that had been on the tiny coffee table in front of them. "Dick is friggin' gross-" and again, it's half the truth because they are gross, but _Cas'_ dick sure as hell wasn't

Ash says, "Mhm-" with a whole lot of attitude. "Seriously, do you like guys or not?"

Dean swallows the soda that he'd been savoring for a few seconds, "Does it matter?" their eyes meet for a second because things feel heavy. "It's not like I'm gonna fall in love with you or nothin'-"

Ash nods, "I know that-" and takes another swig of his soda. 

It's a little too awkward so the younger teen excuses himself to the porch to smoke a cigarette. After lighting it, his friend comes out to join in and they pass the cigarette back and forth in silence for a while. Until he excuses himself once again, but this time for the bathroom since they're about to get on the road to Bobby's. 

Dean unzips himself in the tiny bathroom and flips the toilet lid up and starts going. It's not long before Ash barges in, "What the hell-" and whips out his own dick right next to him and starts _going_ too. "Couldn't you wait, man-" and he tries his best not to look, but he has to look down at his own to make sure he's aiming where he should be. 

Ash sighs heavily in relief and finishes first, zipping up. "Sorry, had to go-" the words are said so casually before leaving him alone in the confined space.

Dean didn't know if other guys did this together or not, what was normal or acceptable between friends. He has no idea because it feels like he hasn't had a close friend in such a long time. After zipping himself up in a haste and rushing towards the front door to meet his friend inside his car, the thought that he might have to come clean dawns on him.

How can he keep it a secret? Maybe if he was completely straight, something as small as peeing in front of another dude wouldn't make him blush. _Or would it?_ Ash picks up on the silence after being on the road for a while, "You alright?" he looks over briefly.

Dean hums before admitting, "I like guys-" there's silence all around, nothing but the sound of tires on the bumpy road as their soundtrack. "Well, there's really just the _one-"_

"I knew it-" he nods casually with a sigh, "-and he's a fucking a pedophile."

Dean gets pissed but keeps himself under control, "No, man. He's not-" after a few seconds he lies, "He's never touched me. I-I just have a crush on him, that's all-"

Ash looks over at him for a second, "Oh-" then laughs. "Well, whatever I guess. Think you'll hook up with him when you're legal then?-" and his tone is casual, like he's making simple conversation about something totally hypothetical.

Dean feels saddened because apparently Ash is nothing like Kevin, sure he was accepting but not about having a relationship with his stepfather. Now his words are swimming around in his head, was the guy just a pervert who got off on _kids?_ No way, he knows _Cas_ and he's not like that. When the tires reach the old dirt road that leads him home, he's snapped out of his conflicting thoughts.

Ash smiles, parking by the wooden fence. "I'll see you next week-" he says, because it was Thursday, the last day of classes for the week. "Take it easy man-"

Dean nods, "So we're good then?" and it sounds nervous. 

Ash thinks for a few seconds before nodding and when the younger teen exits his car, he speaks up. "But-" and Dean looks back, through the window. "Be careful-" it had to be said, in case he was lying which he obviously was.

Dean gives him the middle finger before turning around and walking up to the house. The loud muffler of his friends vehicle kept popping until it didn't anymore, meaning he was long gone. So he stops and looks next door, Castiel was home but there was no way he would be going over. Not when his friend put the thought into his head that his stepfather was just some creep who likes children.

Maybe everyone else was right about him and Castiel's relationship. But that thought has no space in his mind because he loves that man more than anything. Dean kicks the floorboards of the porch hesitantly before heading inside. His heart drops the second he pulls the screen door open because that familiar voice is speaking to his uncle in the kitchen.

"Cas-" he says, not the least bit thrilled. "You're here-" and sits down at the table. "Again-"

Castiel wipes his mouth on his napkin, "Yeah-" their eyes meet. "My stove isn't working, so I came over to make dinner. Is that a problem?"

Now Bobby seems to be all buddy buddy with the guy again, having had a few beers before he'd gotten there. Actually, they both have had a few beers. "Ya better eat, boy. Lookin' a little thin-"

Dean shrugs before reaching for the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table to serve himself. "You can do whatever you want, Cas. Host your lame book club here for all I care-" and his step father ignores what he says and only inquires about his uncles comment about his weight.

Castiel calmly asks, "Now why don't you get mad when he says it?" 

Dean glares at the man, "Because he's _family-"_

Castiel instantly regrets saying anything because that fucking stung. "Fair enough-" and Bobby laughs, mostly because he's buzzed for the first time in over a month. 

The teen grabs a few rolls from the center of the table and begins eating, not looking anywhere but down at his food. Castiel and Bobby converse like he's not even there, the kitchen is floods with their drunk laughter and nonsense. Yet all he can think about is what Ash had said on the drive home and his eyes peek up through his lashes at his stepfather. 

Was he really just a _monster?_

Castiel waves a hand in front of his face because he's been zoned out a while, "We're gonna watch a movie, you wanna?" and the two men stand up at once. "Bobby picked out something we might like-"

Dean nods and chugs the rest of his water before following them to the living room. He quickly sits down, next to Bobby on the couch while Castiel takes the armchair in the corner and tries to focus on the television screen. The movie begins easily enough, it was about a boy who could play the piano pretty damn well. But as the movie continues, a certain theme comes to mind.

Something feels familiar about the two main characters. An older man and a teenage boy were falling in love and exploring their relationship. Dean looks over at Castiel, who seems bored and oblivious to the love affair blossoming between the two characters, but he was able to recognize it. Maybe his uncle did too, since he chose the damn movie- it's a trap, _shit._

Though he isn't quite sure why the film is called _Call Me By Your Name._ Surely by the end, they all will know. When the pair share their first kiss on the grass, on a beautiful sunny day. That's when Castiel looks over at him in terror, he'd been biting his nails in boredom up until now. The man tears his eyes away from him, focusing on the screen. 

Eventually saying, "Alright, Bobby-" and sits up. "I think we get the point-" but the bearded man makes no effort to turn off the movie and was quite into it. "Fine, Goodnight you two-" and the front door slams shut behind him.

Dean speaks up softly, "Bobby-"

Bobby says, "Jus' watch the darn movie boy-" but his tone wasn't angry, it was just _soft._

Dean is forced to stay put on the sofa, next to his non-homophobic uncle. Honestly, now that he thinks about it he's not all that surprised about this. His uncle never once said he'd disown him if he liked the same sex. _Never._ The problem he had was always with Castiel's age, that's all and it seems to be everyone's problem. While the movie plays, his own thoughts run wild.

When the pair part ways, Dean becomes tear eyed and of course tries to hide it. The ending got to him most of all, and that's when the water works come, unable to hold it in any longer. His palms press against his wet eyes as if that would somehow stop the tears from coming. _It doesn't._ Bobby wraps an arm around him and kisses the top of his head. 

"Why did you want me to see this-" he looks up at the man sitting next to him. "This-"

"Remember when the boys dad told him-" 

Dean cuts in, "Our hearts and our bodies are only given to us once, yea-" and his uncle nods. "What's your point?"

Bobby softly says, "I want ya to take care of yer heart and yer body-" they're making eye contact and it's not awkward, surprisingly. "Ya only get one of each, don't starve it. Feel yer pain, feel everything boy. Yer too young to be this broken." and because he knows his nephew is about to protest, "I know what's happened to ya, but it's apart of you now and ya can't do shit about it-"

Dean tries not to laugh right then, but he nods in understanding. 

Bobby sighs because he might just regret this, "I approve-" the words feel forced. "Of you and _him._ He's a good man, but I still want both of ya to wait-" there's a look of disbelief from the teen, "Can ya do that for me?"

Dean feels guilty because he had sex with Castiel after promising not to, "Yea, we'll wait-" then wraps an arm around his uncle. "Thanks Bobby, this means a lot to me-"

"Don't make me regret this-" he huffs, "This don't mean ya two can start up again-" there's silence for what seems like a few minutes. "That how things start?" the curiosity in his voice is evident and he gestures to the television.

Dean knows his uncle was talking about the movie right then, asking if their love had grown in a similar way and he nods. "Yea, kinda-" and his words are spoken softly. "It never really felt _wrong-"_

Bobby is silent for another moment, "Something ya both couldn't deny?" the teen nods and suddenly he wants to share something. "Ya know-" he clears his throat. "I had a buddy, Fergus- everyone called em' Crowley- don't ask me why, but we fooled around when we were young-" his nephew blinks furiously, "I get how feelin's jus' happen-"

Dean actually huffs, completely astounded. "I thought I knew you, Bobby-" his face softens. "Never would'a thought- wait, what happened to him?"

Bobby's eyes actually tear up, "We never got _together,_ we spent a summer together back when we was jus' boys. Only kissed a bit-" 

Dean nods, listening carefully to his uncles words. "Why didn't-"

"Parted ways-" there's a pause. "Met my Karen after that-"

The teen studies his uncle for a long moment and softly asks, "Does it hurt?" 

"Yea, in the summertime-" Bobby volunteers new information, "He died a long time ago, guess maybe that's why I want ya both to be happy. Never know when it's yer last day, kinda wonder what could'a been-"

"Bobby-" Dean speaks up softly, knowing he's about to ruin the moment. "I feel so _damn_ close to you right now-" 

The man groans and basically shoves him off the couch, "Boy get the hell outta my sight-" and it sounds like he was trying hard not to laugh at his nephews sense of humor.

Dean laughs loudly and struggles to haul himself up off the floor, laughing so hard was draining all the energy from his body.

But it felt good, to laugh like this and what felt even better was to know that his uncle didn't completely hate him for loving another man. Even if it was his stepfather, the man who was only supposed to take care of him. Sure he understand why he wanted them both to keep their distance for now.


	66. Free To Be You And Me

It's Saturday morning and Dean finds himself at his step fathers house, cleaning. He hadn't wanted to wake up so damn early just to do a whole bunch of chores and dust every inch of every surface but it was either this or long hours at the diner in town. This seems like an easy bet, one day a week of being the mans main in exchange for a couple hundred bucks. 

Dread settles in when it's time to clean up the mans desk, coffee cups and candy bar wrappers littered the space. "What a fuckin' pig-" and get's started to tossing all wrappers and cups into the wastebasket, accidentally managing to toss a few important papers in the process. His defense would be that everything looked like trash if he was asked about it. 

Apparently the mans education never seems to stop because every other month he's taking some kind of seminar or workshop that's obligatory by the hospital. Dean supports him furthering his career, even if it meant less time at home together but maybe that will change in the future. For now, his duty was to be as supportive as he could be because he still holds some guilt for being so much trouble the last few years.

It had been a few days since his heart to heart with his dear uncle and it put some of his concerns to rest, but not all. His friend calling the man he loves a _pedophile_ has his stomach feeling queasy since. The idea that Castiel only loves him because he's still technically a boy has his world flip flopping in uncertainty of their future.

Even though It's highly unlikely he will be tossed to the side like a bag of garbage as soon as he's legal, there's still some anxiety that's trying to convince him that he'll be tossed on his ass.

Castiel walks by the office entryway, "Everything alright in here?" and he sounds distracted.

Dean turns around to find the man wearing his glasses and looking down at a medical textbook in his hands. "Yea-" is all he mutters before he's left alone.

The teen sits down at the desk and begins to organize everything, regardless if he was asked to do this or not. His _job_ was to simply clean, not toss anything and certainly not to rearrange his things. _Oh well._ In no time at all the books on the desk are stacked in alphabetical order and loose papers are neatly put into a pile with a pen placed on top so that the ceiling fan doesn't blow any of them away.

His laptop was openand unlocked with several tabs open- mostly bank statements and research, but one of pages caught his eye- and blinks them several times to try to get his vision to focus and it serves as a reminder that he's in dire need of his own glasses. He takes one look over his shoulder to make sure the coast was clear and clicks on one of the more interesting tabs which was clearly some gay porn.

Another quick look over his shoulder is taken before pressing play on a video that had been paused. Dean really shouldn't be snooping because it's none of his business, but he just can't help himself. His curiosity is at an all time high because they don't spend every waking minute together anymore.

The video plays while on mute and it involves a man having his way with a young boy, a teenage boy that looks to be around his age and just so happens to look a lot like him. 

"Shit-" he scrolls down to the comment section without thinking and by accident finds a comment that had actually been written by his stepfather. "The fuck-" he's got to blink to make his vision clear again.

The jealousy caused by one single comment, has the blood coursing his veins boiling hot. The fucking guy actually had a damn profile on a porn website, that he pays _premium_ for. Only ten bucks a month, no big deal. _Right?_ It's a fucking big deal to Dean though.

Dean watches the entire video in a jealous haze because he's feeling like he's not enough for the man he loves now. Sure, he watches porn too but it's not like he leaves fucking _comments._ His heart is racing because it _stings_ pretty damn bad, regardless if it's just meaningless porn. Maybe if the man was watching two adult men fucking, he would feel better about this. But it's not, it's a man and a teenage boy- that's pretty damn specific.

"Dean!" 

Castiel's voice has him snapping out of it and quickly stands, leaving the laptop as he had found it. Dean wipes his eyes with the hem of his shirt before going into the kitchen.

"Yea?"

"You took a long time to finish in there-" and again, his eyes are glued to the open textbook in front of him. When he doesn't get a response from the teen, his eyes peek up to see that he looked pale, almost ill. "Dean?" he stands after setting his textbook on the coffee table, "Baby, you okay?"

The words sound so loving, so convincing. Surely all of this is just a misunderstanding. His _Cas_ can't be some pervert who leaves comments on videos of teenage boys getting fucked. 

"Baby?" he comes closer, resting his hand on the teens cheek. "Have you eaten anything?"

Dean blinks away the blurriness from his eyes, "I-I need glasses-" is all he says. 

Castiel chuckles, "I'll make an appointment for you tomorrow-" and sits down again in front of his book. "Do you want me or Bobby taking you-" and just like that, he's completely distracted again.

Dean answers with a simple, "Bobby can take me-" but all he wants to do is punch him in the face. _Again._ "I'm gonna head home-" and of course, the man doesn't notice anything strange about his quick departure.

The teen spends the rest of the day helping out his uncle with a car that was being a total bitch. No matter what they did to the darn thing, it wouldn't start. So Bobby headed into town to pick up a car part that might have been the issue the whole time, leaving his nephew alone in the home. After coming somewhat clean to each other, both Dean and Bobby had gotten closer which was extremely nice that he had earned a bit of his trust back.

Dean was still outside cleaning up the mess that had been made in an attempt to fix this particular vehicle and lifted something a little too heavy.

"Agh-" he stands up straight, wincing at the pain in his lower back.

The mess was instantly forgotten and he goes inside to sneak in a swig of his uncles whiskey to numb the pain. Dean gets on his tip toes in order to reach the top of the fridge where the guy always kept a bottle, hidden behind a few cereal boxes. "Agh-" he winces again before unscrewing the cap and chugging. After a while he begins to notice that a little more than he meant to drink is gone. Not the whole bottle, not even half, but it was enough for his uncle to notice.

Dean thinks that it won't be a big deal if he just pours a little bit of water into the bottle and he shakes it a bit before putting it back in it's hiding place. "Aghh-" he whines again, "Fucking-" he catches himself mid curse and goes to sit at the table with his head in his hands.

It's not clear how long he'd been sitting there but it was long enough for the sun to start going down and must have dozed off because the sound of the screen door slamming shut startles him awake. "Bobby-" he calls softly, but it's his stepfather who enters the kitchen instead. "Oh, it's _you-"_

Castiel frowns slightly before turning on the stove and yes, he really needed to buy a new one asap so he wouldn't have to come over every time he wanted a hot meal. "Just here to make something, are you hungry?" 

Dean's instantly disgusted by the mention of food because yeah, he did drink a little too much and he's a light weight. "Meh-" is all he responds, but he watches the man move around the kitchen in a blurry haze. Some of that blur was caused by the whiskey, some of it was just him needing some glasses.

When Castiel turns around he sees the look on his face, "What's wrong?" the teen moves and he winces again. 

"Hurt my friggin' back again-" his words are a tad slurred, not enough to suspect anything and his lips are parted and puffy. "Nnn-" and he stands, walking carefully to the front porch for some fresh air.

Castiel follows, "Let me-" and stands behind the teen who was now casually leaning over the porch railing, just getting air and not at all about to be sick. _Hopefully._ He looks over his shoulder at him, while Castiel lifts up his shirt to expose some of his back. "Mind if I-" his strong fingers start working over his hot skin, kneading and digging into the tenderness that was there.

Dean moans softly in pain after standing up straight, "Agh-" his heads falls forward, chin to his chest. Eventually lips kiss the back of his neck and it startles him. "The fuck you doin'-" he looks over his shoulder once again. "Don't do that-"

Castiel looks pretty hurt, "What's wrong?" the sound of crickets is the only thing audible aside from their soft voices. "Did I do something wrong?"

Dean wants to say _Yes_ and call him a pervert, but he can't. "No-" his voice is a whisper. "I'm jus' in a bad mood-" his boot kicks the floorboards gently as if in boredom.

"I could help you with that-" his words are spoken sweetly, his hands wrap around his waist to pull him closer.

Dean bites his lip because it felt good to be pressed up against his body, but it's not the time to do something. "It hurts-" he arches his back. Large hands are on him once again, rubbing and kneading. "Agh-" his cock is getting hard in his jeans but he's uncomfortable right now, in pain too. Thoughts of what he saw on his computer are lingering in his mind, as well as what his friend called his stepfather. 

"You're so cute-" 

The teen feels sick all of a sudden and pushes him away, "Enough-" the man has a shocked expression on his face. "Shit, can't keep your damn hands off me for a second-" 

"Excuse me?" Castiel says firmly, sounding hurt. 

Dean's nostrils flare in disgust because whatever the hell he was cooking on the stove was starting to burn, "Whatever you're making in there is burning dumbass-" and the man rushes indoors before the smoke alarm has a chance to go off. He follows him inside, completely pissed because he just can't let go that the man he loves watches gay porn and leaves fucking _comments._

It feels like he got cheated on and anger washes over him, he's unable to stop himself from walking up to the man and hits him repeatedly on the back with a closed fist, though it's not nearly hard enough to cause any real pain. It's more like a boy throwing a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted when he wanted it.

Castiel turns around with a huff, "What the fuck is your problem-" his voice is hard as he manages to get the teens arms behind his back as a way to restrain him from trying to hurt him. "Dean-"

Dean's angry, so angry that his bottom lip trembles with the emotion. "You're a fucking perv-" 

"What are you talking about-" he lets him go, totally confused and one of his hands rests on the teens shoulder.

Their eyes meet once they're facing each other, "You're an idiot, leaving your laptop open-" his eyes fall to the floor because he _knows_ what was on there. "You get off on dudes fucking boys my age?" 

"It's been hard not being with you-" is his defense. "I have a problem, I know-"

Dean swallows dryly, "No Cas, you have a big fucking problem-" their eyes meet. "Am I even the first-"

Castiel quickly chimes in, "I've never been with anyone underage-" he inhales nervously. "Just you, I swear-" 

Dean is pissed, until the mans eyes become glossy and a tears rolls down his face "Okay, Cas-" he steps closer. "Okay-" then pulls him down for a hug. 

Surprisingly the man begins to sob and his words sound broken when he says, "I never wanted to touch you-" he inhales roughly. "I never- you just wouldn't leave me alone-"

Dean blinks away his own tears, "Shh-" and his hand is rubbing up and down the mans back. They pull apart a few minutes later when the man seems to have calmed down a little, "You gonna be okay?"

Castiel nods and stands up straight, towering over the teen. "Yeah-" he looks away. "Was it the type of porn I watch upsetting to you or-"

"I got jealous-" he looks away too. "I know you must watch porn, I do it too-" their eyes meet. "I don't like that you get off on other-" he pauses an goes with "Guys-" instead of saying _boys._

Castiel nods, "You know, I never felt like a monster-" and hesitates before admitting, "Until I started messing around with _you."_ his voice cracks. "I love you with all my heart, Dean. But loving you makes me feel like a monster-"

Dean swallows the knot in his throat, "Are you breaking up with me-" and he's got to ask because to him, it sure sounds like it. "I didn't mean-" and there he goes, trying to apologize for something that is completely normal to be upset over.

"Maybe I should-" he bangs his fists lightly on the kitchen table, startling the teen in front of him. "I don't want to be a monster, Dean-" 

" _Cas-"_ the way he says the name sounds like a plea.

Their eyes meet, both of them are teary eyed and that's when Bobby walks in with the box that contained a few items for the vehicle they were working on. "Dean? You alright boy?" and he looks completely ready to come to his nephews aid if needed.

Dean looks away from them both to hide the fact that a tear ran down his face. "Yea-" it's wiped away with trembling fingers.

Castiel wipes his eyes quickly with the sleeve of his sweater before rushing out of the house. Bobby's eyes follow the mans movements, until he's completely gone from view. Dean starts crying, hands covering his face and he's got no other choice but to pull him in for a big hug. 

"Did he hurt ya?"

Dean clutches to the back of his uncles flannel for dear life, "No-" and then says, "Why do I have to be so fucked-" he believes something is wrong with him, for going after a grown man at such a young age. Castiel said it himself, _he_ wouldn't leave him alone and that's why their relationship even happened.

Bobby pulls away, holding his nephews face in his large hands. "Dean, how many times do I gotta tell ya that yer a good kid and that I'm proud of ya? So ya got some demons, who doesn't-""

"I just wanna-" his lip trembles. "I wanna be normal, Bobby-" his eyes peek up through wet lashes. "Being hopelessly in love with my stepfather is not normal, I know that. I fucking know that-"

Bobby looks at him, his dark eyes filled with pain for the young Winchester.

"I love _Cas-"_ his voice breaks, then groans in frustration and annoyance. "But I wish I didn't-" he sits down on the floor like a child, back to the wall right there in the kitchen. "I'm happy I have him but fuck Bobby, my life would be easier if I could have a girlfriend instead-" he starts picking at dried up oil underneath his fingernails. "Dad wasn't even into dudes, not by a longshot-" his voice sounds hopeless. "But he brings home the nerdiest fucking guy to our house and fucks him-" and cuts it short, because it's disturbing to think about.

Bobby huffs, "I ain't gonna lie to ya because life would be easier if ya didn't love em'-" 

Dean looks up, "He said I make him feel like a monster for loving me-"

Bobby pulls out one of the kitchen chairs and sits down because it seems like they were going to be hashing this out for a while. "Listen boy, ya know that ya don't need to be with em' right?" the teen looks confused. "If ya both weren't together like that, he wouldn't be goin' nowhere. He told me so, that he'd always be around-"

Dean smiles fondly, but sadly. "He told me that too-"

"So, what do ya wanna do?" there's a pause. "What do ya want?"

The teen sighs longingly, "Does it make me bad if I say that I want Cas and a girlfriend?" silence. "I'm curious about girls, Bobby. But I love Cas-"

"Ya can love em' and not be with him-" 

Dean nods, "Yea I know-" his uncle gets up to grab a soda from the fridge, handing it to him before taking his seat. "Thanks-" he cracks it open, it pops loudly in the calmness of the home.

Bobby sips his own soda, "Ya sure you even want him in _that_ way?" 

Dean snorts, "Uh yea, I'm pretty friggin' sure I want him _that_ way-" and it's obvious to him, why else would he get hard every time they so much at hug.

"Is it just a physical thing?" the man sure is curious about them, which he's entitled to be since they're family.

"Sometimes-" he chugs the soda until the can is halfway empty and then burps as quietly as he can manage with his clenched fist over his mouth. "We have like this, _bond_ or whatever-" their eyes meet. "Was it like that with you and that guy?" 

Bobby scratches at his beard, "Yea, guess so. We fought a lot- damn near killed each other once or twice." 

Dean smiles, "Bobby, is love always crazy like that?" 

The man shakes his head, "Nah boy, love is good. My Karen and I never fought, but she was a woman. Men are different, we all seem to get off on tryin' to kill each other-"

The teen nods all too well, "Think me and Cas can work it out?-" and he's asking for his honest opinion.

Bobby surprises him by nodding, "Yea-" and then sighs. "Do I wish ya two would've waited? Yea but-" he shrugs. "It happened, and we can all only go forward from here boy."

"Can't believe you're cool with this-" he admits nervously.

"I ain't cool with nothin'-" he finishes off his soda, "I do like em', I like em' a lot. But I don't like that he sniffs around ya like a bloodhound when yer body ain't even legal yet-"

Dean changes the subject because he indeed was in love with a rabid, very horny bloodhound. "So, Bobby. Are you kinda gay or what-" 

The man laughs and it takes a moment to regain his composure. "No-" a few seconds go by. "Guess everybody is a lil' gay, ain't they-"

The teen tries to hide a smile, "I love you Bobby-"

"Yea, go get in the shower. " he stands, "Ya stink like death-" and his boot lightly knocks into the teens to get him get a move on.

Dean stands up painfully but manages to keep it from showing. "I like talkin' to you, Bobby-" he admits before giving the large man a bear hug. "I'm so happy to be livin' with your cranky ass-"

Bobby returns the hug before shoving him in the direction of the bathroom because he really did smell like something had died on him.

Dean fills the tub with warm water and slides in carefully after removing his oil stained clothing, groaning loudly until he's comfortable against the cold bathtub. "Aghh-" he sighs, the water splashes a bit every time he moves.

When he opens his eyes and takes the time to look around the bathroom for the first time, he notices that there was a fresh coat of paint on the walls and that the cabinets had been replaced. Things looked a bit more modern than he had remembered from when he used to sleep over when he was only five or so. It's crazy that it went unnoticed until now, or maybe not so crazy since he never took the time to actually _look._ Now he wonders what else has changed around his uncles house since he was five.

The day his stepfather brought him to Bobby's he was so out of it, mentally and physically. The thought alone has his eyes burning with tears. "Fuck my life-" he sighs under his breath. His hands run up and down his thighs aimlessly, for no reason other than to feel something. His cock was hard between his legs but it doesn't matter then, he wants more than just to touch himself.

What he wants is something that is beyond wrong, it's almost sick, and that's exactly how he feels. It's not the mixture of whiskey and soda swimming around in his empty stomach, it's because he made a perfectly good man a _monster._ Because _Cas_ wasn't always like this, there's no way he came into their lives just to prey on John Winchesters underage son. His first initial interest had been his father, and he just had to leave _crumbs_ for him until he couldn't take it anymore and finally took a full bite out of him.

Dean knows he tempted the man, even before he knew that he was even doing it. It just felt so _normal,_ it happened so easily. It's so hard to tell sometimes if he wants a loving father, or if he wants a boyfriend. Why can't he just have _both?_ Why can't Castiel just be his _everything?_

Maybe it's sick to want those two things out of the same person but he does, he wants Castiel to be his _daddy_ forever and tell him everything is going to be alright, make him feel safe and hold him when he feels less than great.

Dean wants Castiel to be his _boyfriend_ too and kiss him all the damn time and fuck him until he comes everywhere. In some twisted way it's as if he doesn't want to ever grow up, there's a part of him that wants to be a child forever and never outgrow needing a father. Although Castiel has been a good father figure for him, it's doubtful he would understand any of this.

Maybe the guy just wants a boyfriend and it is the reason why he even hooked up with John, no one told him that he'd become his boyfriends _daddy._ No one warned him that Dean Winchester would have all these issues. He's moody and codependent as all hell, needy and jealous, curious and so damn emotional. Dean's a long list of do's and Don'ts, and the lines are blurred on both ends of the spectrum.

A knock on the bathroom doors startles him, "Shit-" and he splashes the soapy tub water onto his face. "Yea, almost done-" and that's when his hand wraps around himself, stroking up and down in a rush because he wants it all to go away. "Ugh-" the moan escapes him, he's going so fast just to finish and he's forcing it almost. "Come on-" he encourages himself. His orgasm is right on the edge and he's so desperate.

"Come on, come on-" he mumbles under his breath. "Ugh-" he moans again, softly. "Come on, come on-" and he's spilling a large load of come into the soapy water. "Agh-fuck-" and the water works come too. "Damn it, get it together-" he slaps himself twice in the face. "Stop crying-"

"Hurry boy!" 

"Alright, Alright-" he says loudly before rinsing himself off and stepping out. It doesn't take him long to dry off his body so he's out of the bathroom within two minutes. "All yours-" his voice is soft and he locks the door behind him once inside the privacy of his bedroom.

The burn on his cheek hasn't faded yet, hopefully it doesn't leave a mark because he did slap himself pretty damn hard. He's never done that before, but maybe it was progress because he usually does something else in order to hurt himself. It's a long shot, but at least there's no new scars to have to hide away under the flannels he's already so tired of wearing.

Dean pulls on a pair of loose boxer shorts and crawls into bed, over the covers. It doesn't surprise him when there's no texts waiting for him on his phone and ends up rereading his conversation thread with Castiel for the better part of half an hour. Reading their text messages makes him want to send one right then and he does, simply asking how he's doing.

After a quick glace at the time, it makes him wonder why he's not responding because it wasn't that late in the night. He tosses and turns for almost the entire night and not once does his phone light up. "Fuckkk-" he groans in frustration because sleep never overcomes him in the midst of waiting for a response.

Eventually the teen gets up, flips the light on and walks down the hall to the kitchen, flipping that light on too. Dean opens the fridge, the coolness hits his bare skin, causing goosebumps. He eyes the food, not knowing what to snack on just to kill time. As usual, he settles on a bag of chips and a bottle of water and parks his ass on the living room couch. 

The television is on low volume and on some kind of boring documentary about wildlife that he doesn't care to really listen to. After the bag of chips is gone, he does manage to fall asleep on the couch until morning, which was a mere three hours away. 

It seems like no time at all has passed when his uncle is waking him for class. Dean opens one eye, and instantly knows that it's going to be a crappy day. "Yea, I'm up-" 

Of course Dean had been right about about today. He couldn't focus on a single thing during class and his hands kept fumbling every time he picked up his pen. Every time the class instructor turns his head, he pulls out his phone to check for any messages. There were _none._ He sighs and just tries to blink the drowsiness from his eyes but it's not working.

When class is over, it comes as a miracle and he rushes out of the building. Ash tries to follow him but he's too fast and climbs into his uncles truck without looking back. It's pretty damn dramatic, but he feels like quitting school and just hiding out in his room the rest of his life. The whole days he feels on edge and completely emotional for some reason, and it wasn't his talk with Castiel.

They always fight and say shit they don't mean so _that_ couldn't be his fucking problem. His stomach was growling so he stops by some burger place and grabs something on the way home. His step fathers cash was burning a hole in his pocket even if he had earned it honestly. By the time he parks in front of the house, his mood is beyond bad.

If he sees Castiel, he will lose his shit. Maybe he'll cry, maybe he'll try to kick the guys ass. Luckily, there was no sign of him and he's able to eat his food in peace at the kitchen table. Bobby was out back working but didn't come in to bother him or ask for his help. _Thank God._

Once his food is done, he goes to his room and lays down on the bed. A good amount of time is spent listening to music and staring up at the ceiling. He'd been drowning in his thoughts until a knock at the door has him saying, "Yea?" a little too loudly.

Castiel's head pops in, "Can I talk to you?" 

Surprisingly he's not angry anymore and simply nods, pulling an earbud out of his ear so he can listen to whatever he's got to say. He comes in and sits on the edge of his bed, maintaining a good distance.

"I didn't break up with you, in case you thought-" his blue eyes are cast downwards at the floor.

Dean nods, "I know-" and his eyes are tearing up already so he looks away, willing himself to grow some balls. He really wasn't pissed about the porn thing, everyone watches porn. It was the man he loves feeling like a monster that did him in. "I think-" he swallows over the suddenly painful lump in his throat. "I think I'm the monster here-"

Castiel scoots closer to him, "Look at me-" and he looks. "What makes you think you're a monster?-" his voice is full of genuine concern.

Dean swallows again, his lips feel all sticky and gross because his face always gets so damn red and puffy when he cries. "Because I'm always gonna need you to be my-" he blinks, tears fall. "I'm always gonna need you to be my friggin' dad-"

There's no judgement on the older mans face, only love. "Aren't I already?-" his voice is soft.

"You're not understanding me, Cas-" his breathing stutters and wipes his damp eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "I want you to be both-" now the guys confused. "I want you to be like, my dad and my boyfriend-"

Castiel nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "You know I'm only-" he sighs, "I-I can't be both. We tried it, it doesn't work-" he's clearly struggling with this. "I only meant to do all of this until you were eighteen, "I-I treat you like my child because you sort of are one-" and maybe he's not getting his point across how he means it. "After your birthday, I fully intended to stop babying you like your parent and just be your boyfriend-"

Dean starts crying because he wants to keep getting cared for by this man, "Damn it, _Cas-"_ and he covers his face with his hands because he hates being vulnerabe. "Why can't you just, damn it-"

Castiel tries prying the teens hands away because he wants to see his face, "Dean, you're aware that I'm not your real father- aren't you?" he nods because _duh,_ he knows. "I wasn't going to treat you like my son forever-" 

Dean sobs almost hysterically and Castiel pulls him in for a hug, hoping that it will calm him down. "Shh, please-" his voice is urgent, "Baby, please-" and he looks over his shoulder, fully expecting for the door to bust open to reveal a worried Bobby. "Please, stop crying-" 

"Daddy-" the word sounds broken. "Cas, please-"

"Shit-" Castiel curses, "Baby, in the nicest way possible- I'm telling you that I love you. I love you so much but you're my boyfriend, not my _son-"_ the teen continues sobbing in his arms _._ "Dean, please-"

Once the teen seems to have calmed down, Castiel offers to hold him for a while and he eagerly accepts his affection. He lays back and Dean lays next to him on the bed, nuzzling his face into the older mans neck. He inhales deeply, loving the scent of his barely there cologne and presses a kiss to his skin. Then another, and another.

Almost shyly, he says the word _daddy._

Castiel takes a deep breath in, "Yes baby-" and exhales slowly.

The teen in his arms holds onto him tighter and lets him know that he wants him to be his _daddy_ always. It's not possible, sure they can role play but eventually they both need to wake up and realize that they are just boyfriends. Even if there happens to be a rather large age gap between them, they're boyfriends and only that. He can't have him as _both,_ there needs to be a line between the two.

Eventually Castiel says, "Alright, baby-" because he can't stand to hear the love of his life crying anymore. 


	67. I'll Be Okay, Cas

Dean suddenly startles awake in the middle of the night, his ear is throbbing and no doubt red from being pressed up against his stepfathers clothed chest. The realization that Castiel was in bed with him was rather shocking considering their less than normal situation. Fucking _great,_ trying to explain this away to his heavily armed uncle will be a blast. Hopefully no one ends up shot and rushed to the hospital.

All he knows for sure is that he chugged almost half a bottle of his Bobby's whiskey within the last 48 hours and that he cried a lot. _Like a lot,_ and the rest is a big blur. He lays where he is, not moving a muscle until the man twitches and begins to wake up.

Castiel opens his eyes eventually and shakes him gently, "You okay?" his voice is raspy from sleep. "You had me so worried baby-"

Dean nods, his head still on the older mans chest. "Was kinda drunk-" 

"That makes sense-"

Dean looks up at him now, "What does?"

Castiel doesn't want to embarrass him but the truth needs to be said. "You were ranting about wanting me to be your _daddy-"_

The teen huffs, "That sounds more like your wet dream than mine-" but the look of seriousness has him checking himself. "I really said that?"

"Yes-" he kisses the teens forehead lovingly. "You cried a lot, it was so unlike you-"

Dean blushes and nuzzles into his neck once more. "I don't remember-" and it was half true. "I didn't freak you out, did I?" his words are a whisper against the mans neck. The faint cologne smell that lingered there has him feeling an odd sadness. "Did I cuss you out? Kinda tend to do that-"

Castiel chuckles softly, "That you didn't do-" his fingers are lightly tugging on the hair at the nape of the teens neck. "Is that how you really feel, you want me to be your real dad?" 

Dean shrugs, clutching onto him a little tighter, still hiding in his neck. "Maybe-"

"Hmm-" he hums softly. "You know role playing is one thing-"

The teen nods, "I know. But I kinda wish it was all the time-" and he props himself on his elbow in order to look into the mans blue eyes. "You're just-" he shivers, and strong arms wrap around him.

"It's okay-" he whispers before kissing him gently, carefully. "I love you, that'll never change-"

Dean nods, "Missed out on having a father, ya know-" their eyes meet, lips hovering only an inch apart in the darkness of the room. "You've just been a good role model for me-" and Castiel is surprised by his words, not expecting it. "I know I've given you a lot of shit over the years, but It's only cause' I think you would've been a damn good father, and mine fucking wasn't."

Castiel is flustered, "Thank you, Dean. I-I appreciate that. " then he chuckles. "You know, when we met- I thought about how lucky I would have been to have you as a son."

Dean smiles sweetly, "Like for real?" and the man nods before giving him another gentle kiss. "You make me feel all soft-"

Castiel laughs out loud, "You are soft-" and gives the teens ass a firm squeeze. "Will you be okay?"

The teen thinks about it and eventually says, "Yea-" there's a short pause. "I'll be okay, Cas-" 

After a while of snuggling in bed, "Why were you even drinking?-"

"The last few days are kind of a blur-" he admits, "Are you mad at me for it?"

Castiel kisses the top of his head, "If I _was_ your father, I would be-" and the tone sounds like he's trying to tease him. "Probably would've grounded you, or spanked you-" clearly the man was a little too good at playing _daddy._ "Maybe used my belt on you-"

"Shut up, asshole-" and his arms tighten around the older man and they both know he's blushing. "Hey, Cas?" the man _hmm's_ in response. "You know what I love most about you?" he shrugs, "This right here-" he kisses him quickly. "Your upper lip is all puffy and cute, always-"

Castiel licks his lips and turns his head, thinking that the teen is poking fun at him. His upper lip has always been an insecurity, though he's never admitted to any such thing. 

"It's one of my favorite things about you." their eyes meet intensely. "Kinda looks like a bee stung your lip-"

"Dean-" the man looks like he might cry. "Why are you making fun of me-"

"I'm not makin' fun, I love your lips-" they kiss and it makes a little smacking sound. "They feel good kissin' me-" they kiss again, tongues meeting briefly. "They're so soft-" slowly they begin to french kiss, "God, your tongues so fucking long-" 

They both moan into each others mouths softly, "Mmm-" he pulls away breathless. "Dean, if I was really your father we wouldn't be to kiss like this. I wouldn't be able love you this way, don't you understand-" lips are pressing against his to get him to shut up. "It wouldn't matter if you were old enough or not, we would be able-"

Dean smiles because he's actually relieved to hear that. "Guess you're not a pedophile-" hes about to dive into his mouth again but he's held back firmly. _Shit,_ shouldn't have said that. 

"Bobby said I was a pedophile?" the question sounds pained, like the comment hurt him.

Dean gulps, "Uh, no. Ash did-"

Castiel pushes him off and sits up, then he's pulling on the shoes that he'd kicked off at some point. Now he's searching through the sheets for his phone, finally finding it in the rumbled mess.

He sits up too, "Cas-" suddenly very nervous.

"Is that what everyone thinks of me?" his tone is ice cold, not looking back at the teen. "Because I'm not a-" there's some hesitation. "I'm not _that-"_ Dean's too scared to say anything, only nodding in agreement. Castiel finally looks over his shoulder at the teen, "Were you thinking I was?" his silence says it all. "That's why you freaked out at the porn on my-" there's a pause. "You know what, fuck you."

The words take him by surprise, "What-"

"Fuck you, Dean-" he whispers harshly because he doesn't want to wake up Bobby. "For thinking I'm-" he just can't say the word and moves to leave the room as quietly as possible.

"Cas-" he says a little louder than he meant to, "Don't make this a big deal-" but his bedroom door is closed and his step father is long gone. "Damn it-" they had just made up and it got all fucked. 

The next morning, on the day of his eye appointment, Dean is sitting down at the table eating some cereal when his uncle walks in. "Mornin' Bobby-" his voice drawls. His spoon is mindlessly stabbing at the cereal that has now gone soggy.

Bobby looks at him while moving around the kitchen to scramble himself up some eggs, "Anythin' ya wanna tell me boy?" and it's like his uncle knows that Castiel never left last night.

Dean sighs, pushing his nearly full bowl away. "Cas slept over-" the man looks over his shoulder from where he stands in front of the stove. "Nothin' happened-" his uncle is still looking at him. "We made out a lil'-"

"That it?" the teen nods, and he resumes preparing his breakfast. "We needa be honest about everything, got it boy?"

"Yea, I got it-" and he chugs his orange juice. "So you takin' me to my appointment?"

"Sure am-" he sits down at the table, "Maybe gettin' ya some glasses will help when fixin' cars-" the teen glares. "Cause ya keep messin' up my work boy-"

"Guess I'm just as blind as Cas-" and he sulks, watching his uncle eat.

By the end of the day, Dean's got his glasses and looked _adorable_ according to his uncle. The duo worked on an old truck for a while before Bobby dismisses him for the day. But his work isn't done, he's still got chores to do and he's been doing a lot around the house since his uncles health scare. Dean's got two trash bags in hand as he walks up to the garbage bin by the fence.

That's when he spots his stepfather getting home from work with groceries in hand. "Cas!" he yells, and the man stops. It doesn't take long for him to run up the road to meet him. "Need a hand?" and he asks so casually, forgetting what happened the previous night for a second.

Castiel hesitates, "No, Dean. I'm fine-" and he seems off. At least he doesn't sound angry anymore, that's something.

Dean frowns, "Don't tell me you're still pissed?" the man looks down at the bags in his hands. "I never called you a- _that."_

Castiel pushes past it and ignores it, "I see you got your glasses-" he smiles a bit, not really himself still. "Looking more and more like my kid every day-" and the comment probably doesn't help the situation but he doesn't take it back.

Dean blushes, shoving his hands into his front pockets and looks completely beautiful in the suns final rays of light. "Thanks, Cas-"

"Listen, Dean-" and he already doesn't like where this is going. "Your birthday is coming soon, so I think I need to back off-" their eyes focus on each other. "-from parenting you and just be your-"

"My boyfriend?" he finishes the sentence, sounding really hopeful.

Castiel nods, "Yes-" and clears his throat because it does make him emotional. Somehow deep down, he understands what the teen wants from him because he wants the exact same thing. He wants Dean Winchester to be his son and his boyfriend, but it's not possible. "Better to let Bobby take over from here, that should give us the chance to work on our relationship-"

The teen nods, "Guess that'll be better for everyone huh-" his tone sounds distracted, no doubt overthinking it.

Castiel takes another few steps closer. "Dean, it's going to be hard for me to stand back and not get involved in your life like I have been for years-" he exhales a shaky breath. "I've been doing it so long. I'm going to be honest, I don't really know how to stop-"

Dean nods, "Yea and I'm gonna have a hard time not running to you for every damn thing-" the nerves are kicking in now. Bobby is great and all, but he doesn't know him like Castiel does. 

The man smiles, "You still can-" there's a pause. "I'm just going to be there for you in a different way, but I'll be there-" the teens eyes start to look pink and glassy. "You okay?"

Once again, he repeats the words. "Yea, I'll be okay." his eyes are cast down at his boots because he's willing himself to not get emotional. "It's just hard for me-"

Castiel understands how hard it is because it's hard for him too. After a quick hug, he starts heading for the house, "Mind giving me a hand?" and looks over his shoulder to see that the teen is in fact following him. "Put these in the freezer-" he says once they're in the kitchen and unloading the groceries.

Dean puts the box of waffles he was handed into the freezer, "Uh, Cas?" their look at each other. "Am I gonna move in with you after my birthday or-"

The man smiles warmly and moves to plant a kiss on his forehead, "Of course I want my boyfriend to live with me-" and the teen nods, looking away because he feels all _soft_ again. "I miss seeing this sweet face every day-" and he holds the young face in his hands. "I love you-"

Dean whispers, "I love you-" back and looks down at the boner in his jeans. "Sorry, can't help it-" and the mans eyes follow. 

Castiel smiles, "Glad to see I still have that effect on you-"

"Always-" 

They put everything away and Castiel walks the teen over to Bobby's, not because it was an unsafe walk or anything, but they just wanted an extra few minutes together. Although, Dean seems to try ruining it by what he says next and wishes the teen would stop talking about this. It's so uncomfortable, but he knows he deserves the accusations regardless if they're true or not.

"Sorry about-"

Castiel stops by the fence, Dean does too. "I don't want to discuss what Ash said. I know I'm not-" still can't say it. "- _that."_

Dean nods before getting on his toes and kissing his cheek, because his uncle might spot them. "Goodnight, Cas-" and he starts walking towards the house. 

That night Castiel feels unsettled, the desire for a child of his own is ever present. Yet there's no possible way to simply adopt Dean Winchester, because he loves that boy more than anything. Some of those ways are fatherly, some really _aren't._ Of course he always intended on adopting him and it would probably be the right thing to do instead of _being_ with him.

He's asked the teen many times if he wanted to _move on_ and find himself someone else but Dean always said _no,_ every single time. The answer was always _no._

Castiel is laying in bed after a cold shower when his phone starts buzzing loudly from where it was set on the nightstand, startling him. "Dean-" he quickly sighs heavily the second the answers the call. "Is something wrong? It hasn't been more than two hours since I saw you-"

The teen laughs on his end, "Nothin's wrong, paranoid much?" _silence._ "Just wanted to hear your voice before I go to sleep is all-"

Castiel clears his throat, "I miss you too, Dean." the question comes of _what are you wearing?_ comes out of nowhere. "I'm- I'm not entertaining this with you, not until-"

Dean laughs, "Yea I know-" more silence. "FYI, I'm wearing nothing but those little briefs you got me-" the man groans on his end, in frustration. "Alright, I'm done messin' with you, Cas. You just make it so damn easy-" the line goes dead, which makes him smile proudly. Pushing the mans buttons has always been one of his favorite hobbies and always will be. 

That night they both seem to toss and turn in bed with sleep proving hard to come by. Eventually Castiel types up a message of - _Don't forget to wear socks to bed, it's_ cold.-and Dean smiles when he reads the thoughtful words. Somehow managing to fall asleep in just a few short minutes after feeling like he was still loved by the man in the way that he wanted.

The following morning Castiel unlocks his car and slips inside, completely unaware that Dean was hiding in the backseat. He yawns loudly, while waiting for the heat to warm up the interior of his car before making the long drive to the hospital for work. A small giggle from behind startles him and actually lets out some kind of girly shriek that Dean's never heard come out of him before.

"Mornin'-" he smiles before clumsily making his way to the front seat and looking everything but graceful.

The teen was wearing a pair of the khaki pants he'd gotten for him and a black denim jacket, which he also bought him. Dean looked so cute, it'd be a damn lie if he said he didn't want to french the hell out of him right about now.

"What are you doing here?" his voice is stern, regardless of how adorable the teen looked.

Dean's hand starts pawing roughly at the mans crotch, instantly the prize hidden inside becomes hard. "You got hard pretty friggin' fast for a guy that doesn't wanna see me-"

Castiel gulps because it's suddenly so hard to think, to concentrate on making words. His gaze is focused on the hand groping deliciously between his thighs. "You-" he moans, "-have school."

Dean pulls out the hard cock that seems to never forget who he is and mumbles, "I wanted breakfast-" before swallowing down the large cock. "Mmm-"

Castiel whimpers weakly because it had been a while since he's gotten a blowjob from the teen. His hand lands on the back of his head, his fingers tugging on that short, ash brown colored hair possessively. "Dean-" he exhales loudly. "God, you're so good-"

Dean peeks up at him, those pretty green eyes looking through his long lashes have the man almost growling like an animal. He pops off to say, "Better hurry up, Cas-" and wipes away his mouth with his sleeve really quickly. "Don't have a lot of time-" 

Castiel nods quickly because it was true, they didn't have a whole lot of time to make this last. He had work, and Dean has school which Bobby would be taking him too any minute now. The teen sucks him down, long deep strokes, in and out of his mouth. He's completely overcome with adoration because he's being taken in so greedily and hungrily. 

"You love my dick baby?" he asks hoarsely, voice drenched in lust. The teens head bobs up and down, moaning like he was getting some enjoyment from the act itself. "Fuck, such a good fucking kitten-"

Dean moans loudly and ends up choking a little bit on his own saliva, yet powers through which has Castiel ready to explode right then. That was so fucking hot and he wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't turned on by what was happening.

"Fuck-" he yanks the teens head away from his crotch enough so he has some room to come. "Open your mouth-" the order is harsh, but the teen obeys eagerly.

Dean's hands are placed on the older mans thighs, his head is yanked back and his tongue is sticking out as much as he can get it too. It doesn't take long before his face is seeing ropes of white hitting him, everywhere. His lips, his cheeks, his eyes are forced to shut because of what lands on his eyelashes. Dean keeps his mouth open, whimpering like a puppy. 

"Fuck, Dean-" he pants heavily, his hand starts massaging the back of the teens head lovingly. 

Dean opens his eyes regardless of what's on his face and smiles, swallowing everything he was given. 

Castiel's head falls backwards, "You always suck it like it tastes good-" his words sound breathless and broken.

Dean grabs a sweater that he saw in the backseat and uses it to wipe his face. "Cause' I love you-" their eyes meet and things feel heavy and serious once again. "I love you a lot, Cas-" his words are uncertain. "I-I jus' wanna satisfy-"

"My needs?" he finishes. "Dean, if this is about me watching porn-" the teen looks down at his lap. "I'm sorry, I honestly didn't think it would hurt you. I won't watch-"

Dean smiles, "You're a guy, Cas-" and then sighs dreamily because he really does love this man. "We can promise we won't watch it but we both know we're gonna." there's a pause between them. "It's supposed to be a fantasy, so can't you watch like- straight porn instead? Maybe some lesbian action-"

Castiel nods, feeling a little guilty. "Of course, Dean." another pause. "Now, will you please _go?"_ his voice cracks accidentally. "I have to get to work-"

Dean reaches over and plants a sweet kiss on his stubble covered cheek, "Think about me today, yea?" and Castiel nods, because he will. 

The teen steps out of the warmth of the car and runs back to Bobby's, luckily the man never knew where he'd gone off too. The guilt over going against his uncles wishes is something that he's willingly choosing to overlook in order to be with Castiel every now and then. Because what could it _hurt?_

Maybe they can both manage to get away with a blow job here, a few kisses there. But no sex, he _promised._ No _more_ sex, because they both slipped once already. 

After a long day at the hospital, Castiel comes home to what he thinks will be a lonely home. But a quick flipping of the light switch in his bedroom reveals a bored teen laying on his bed. 

"Dean-" he exhales in annoyance. "Please go home, before Bobby comes looking for you." His eyes open and that toothy grin appears, the one that shows off his sharp incisors.

Unfortunately, they sort of turn him on- Being _bitten_ turns him on. Though he's never expressed this little kink, the desire for the love of his life to ravage his neck has always been in the back of his mind. It's such a small thing, because why _bite_ when you can _fuck?_ But fucking was off the table for the next few months, so maybe now is the time to express his hidden desire.

Castiel shakes his head and continues to move around the room like he was alone, which includes stripping out of his scrubs and getting into some loose fitting pajama bottoms. The teen on his bed watches every movement, like a predator observing his prey. Occasionally their eyes meet, but he's in no mood to entertain anything else after this mornings very pleasant _surprise._

Castiel not a bad man at all and wants to fulfill Bobby's wishes by not engaging in anything of _that_ nature. "Stop staring at me-" he says eventually.

Dean snorts, "You're not that hot-" blue eyes glare at him. "Just kiddin' old man-" and he's left alone in the bedroom for a considerable amount of time.

In all honesty, Dean didn't know what possessed him to come over and let himself in. The notion that he was getting paid to come clean the house crosses his mind, but his back was hurting and that responsibility flew out the window the second he saw his step fathers comfortable bed. When the man comes back with hair and shoulders drenched from the shower, his interest is peeked even more.

Castiel was freshly showered and wearing the same sweatpants. "Dean, go home-" he orders once more and the teen says _I don't wanna._ "Well, are you going to help me clean the house then?"

Dean groans in agony before hauling himself up, "What do you want me to do?" 

Castiel can't help himself suddenly and pulls the teen up against him, one eyebrow raising dominantly. "I love you-" the words sound erotically charged, almost nasty.

Dean gulps but the second he feels something hard pressing against his abdomen, a smile appears on his angelic face.

Castiel notices those same sharp teeth peek out and throws him on the bed that was just two feet away, making him yelp in surprise. "Can I ask you for something-" it's asked in a way that sounds unsure, like he might be rejected. 

Dean props himself up on his elbows, that toothy smile never leaves his face. "Sure, Cas-" 

Castiel steps closer, "Can you _bite_ me?" his eyes won't meet the teens.

Dean laughs, "Bite you? Like-" but the man is taking too long to respond so he sits up and grabs his arm, biting it playfully. 

Castiel pulls his arm away, "Not like that-" there's silence between them. "I want you to bite my neck-" his hand cups the teens chin beneath him on the bed. "You have nice teeth-"

Dean makes a face because he wants to laugh, "Uh-" the large hand massaging his chin and jawline lovingly convinces him to agree. "Okay-"

Castiel almost groans before getting into the bed, his back presses against the headboard. "Come here-" he extends his hand which the teen takes instantly and helps him climb onto his lap. He looks up, both hands running up and down the his back. "C'mon, it's okay-" his voice sounds soft, convincing.

Dean bounces up and down slightly, getting comfortable on the mans lap. "I just go for it?" the man rests his head against the headboard behind him, facing away slightly to expose his next. "Do I bite hard or-"

Castiel's breathing is a little sped up, "I don't care, just do it-"

Dean leans in close, licking his lips before opening his mouth and sinking his teeth gently onto the squeaky clean flesh. There's no reaction from his step father yet, so he decides to bite a little harder. That one seems to get him, because a soft moan escapes him and it urges him on. "Harder?" he whispers against his hot skin. The man nods, so he goes in deeper this time.

Castiel groans, his hand kneading the boys plush bottom. "Keep going-" 

Dean starts kissing and biting at his neck, nothing crazy, it was more of a gentle _tease_. "You like this?" he asks softly before the next love bite. _Love bite._ He hadn't intended to give his stepfather any love bites and now they were scattered all over the side of his neck. "Maybe we should stop-" concern laces his tone because he just accidentally marked the man who hates being marked.

Castiel looks up at him once more, "Kiss me-" the teen on his lap hesitates so he goes with, "Let me worship you-" and pushes his shirt up to his chest to expose his nipples and begins licking them.

Little soft moans escape Dean's parted pink lips, his hands are holding the older mans head against his chest. " _Ugh,_ Cas-" rough lips are kissing lower, and lower. "We _can't-"_ and that has blue eyes looking up at him. "Promised Bobby-" his voice sounds so innocent then.

"Then why are you sucking my dick in the car-" the man looks saddened, but understanding and not at all angry. "Why are you showing up at my house like this. Is it that fun to get me worked up?-"

Dean shrugs because he honestly doesn't know, the attachment to this man is just to great a thing to resist. "I like being with you-" and he wraps his arms around his neck, swaying softly. "I always miss you-"

Castiel relaxes into the teens embrace, any sadness fades instantly. "I miss you always, too-" 

A large hand begins groping his ass once again, rubbing roughly at the center. " _Ugh, Casss-"_ he hisses in arousal then sucks in a sharp breath. "Keep doin' that and I'm gonna want-"

"Right, fine-" he looks up, "Kiss me for a few minutes before you leave?"

Dean leans down, kissing him softly and when the older mans mouth opens their tongues meet in a deep french kiss. Their tongues swirl around each other, massaging and exploring with no need to take it further. They both want to, but kissing is enough. Dean and Castiel kiss until their lips are flushed and puffy, and their mouths are dry, pulling apart when they become thirsty.

Castiel swallows dryly, "Thank you, Dean." 

Dean's lips hover against his stepfathers, "You're so needy-" and it doesn't sound like an insult. "Think that's why I love you, Cas." blue eyes look up in adoration. "You give me all the attention I could ever want-" they kiss once, quickly. "You know I need a lot of it, don't you?"

Castiel sucks in a breath, "I know you need it-" and right then, Metallica starts blaring in the teens pocket, startling them both. "Damn it, you need to go-"

Dean plants a final wet kiss on the mans lips before hopping off his lap and running out of the bedroom, and out of the home without saying goodbye or looking back.

The fact that he didn't break something climbing over the fence at the speed that he did was a miracle in itself. When he sees that his uncle was sitting out on the front porch with a soda in his hand, the nerves kick in. Because Bobby was waiting for him to come home and already knowing where he was the whole time, because where else would his nephew be? _Next door._

"Bobby, I-"

"Get inside-" the voice is tight, but not threatening so he nods and heads inside as ordered. 

Dean feels guilty once more for sneaking around again after promising not to, after his uncle being as _cool_ about the situation as he could manage. It still wasn't enough because he still wanted to be with _him._ Even if it meant sneaking around again, maybe even if it landed the guy in prison, he wanted him and he wanted him now. Dean wanted the man all the time, it's a fucking problem and he knows it.

The guilt seems to be kept at bay while he prepares a few burgers on the stove, to sweeten up his uncle so that he doesn't blow a gasket. Bobby finally comes in after the aroma of meat and onions fill the air and takes a seat at the table. After being served his burger on a plate, he speaks up. "Did you-" 

Dean sits down with his burger. "No-" it was true, they didn't have sex. "We made out-" their eyes meet. "Sorry-"

Bobby nods, "Guess nothin' wrong with a little kissin'-" when the teen begins to smile, "I want supervised visits, if ya wanna see each other-" he's chewing his food, "Then ya gotta do it where I can see. And no makin' out, don't wanna see that-"

Dean nods and finally digs into his meal. They eat in silence for a while, the occasional comment about something that happened throughout the day is made. Eventually Bobby says, "If ya daddy was here, he would'a smacked the shit outta you for messin' around with Cas-"

Dean swallows and meets his uncles brown eyes across the table. "He did smack the shit out of me, more than once-" a look of hurt is displayed on his face. "Bobby, how could you say that to me? You know what happened-"

Those words hurt like a stab to the gut would because it's exactly what his father had done to him when he came to steal their television set, smacked him in the face for messing with the man. Dean nor Castiel confirmed it, but John _knew._

Before his uncle could respond or apologize for his insensitive words, the teen gets up from the table and storms off. "Dean!" he follows him outside, just in time to catch him running off next door. If he didn't have such a bad knee, maybe he would have run off after him but pissed or not he's just too old to be running after a moody teenager.

Dean hadn't thrown a true tantrum for a while now, so this was unexpected. "Cas!" he yells when he barges into the mans home. "Cas!"

When he appears down the hallway, he's unable to do anything but meet him halfway into his embrace and unleashes his tears into the mans bare chest. This is where he feels safe, at _home._ Maybe he did react quickly to his uncles words, but it will never be acceptable to him for anyone to mention his father like that. His father hurt him, Bobby knew this- it was confirmed now and he has the nerve to say _that._

Castiel's arms wrap around the teens shoulders, "What happened?" his tone is soft and warm. "Talk to me-"

Dean looks up, his chin resting on the mans chest. "Bobby said my dad would-" there's a pause. "He said dad would hit me if he knew about us-"

Castiel sighs, "Dean, I'm sorry he said that. But is that really a reason to come over here in hysterics?" the look on the teens face has him instantly regretting saying that in his overly fragile state. "I mean-"

Dean pulls away, pouting in anger. "You're against me now too?"

"Dean, I'm not against you-" he steps close, "I'm on your side, I'm always on your side. Baby please, see things rationally-"

"I guess-" he huffs, then gently kicks the wall two seconds later. "Why am I so friggin' emotional-"

"Hey, that's my wall-" there's a smile on the mans face, "No kicking-"

Dean sucks in a shaky breath, his heart still racing from running over here. "I'm hungry-" and his stepfather has him wait in the bedroom until he can fix him up something.

After making the teen a quick sandwich, he pads down the hallway and stops before going in. Dean was clearly crying, it was always a heartbreaking thing to hear. "Dean?" 

The teen quickly wipes his tears before looking up to meet his gaze. "I-" his breath stutters like he might cry again. "You gotta talk to Bobby, tell him not to friggin' bring up dad like that-"

Castiel nods knowingly, because even he doesn't like when his name is brought up too often. "I'll talk to him-" and he climbs into bed, handing him a plate with the sandwich. While the teen eats slowly at his side, nestled in against him, it raises a question. "Surprised he hasn't come over and dragged you back home-"

The teen shrugs and they end up watching television silently in each others arms for a good long while before Castiel shifts uncomfortably. Not because of Dean being there, but because something feels _off._ Bobby hasn't shown up to collect his nephew, not even a phone call. The feeling goes ignored for another while, until suddenly he's being startled awake much later in the night.

Dean's fast asleep next to him and the television had been shut off, he must have done so when he'd fallen asleep at some point. He checks his cell phone first, nothing, then he checks Dean's phone. Nothing either. Something is really off, "Dean-" he shakes him awake gently. "Wake up, I'm worried about Bobby-" green eyes open halfway, peeking through lashes. "We need to go check on him-"

The teen springs out of the bed in a hurry and slips into his boots that he'd kicked off the second he got into the bed.

Castiel informs him on the way, about his worries, about how the last time the man had gotten upset it landed him in the hospital. Maybe nothing was wrong, but Bobby always calls and he didn't after their fight. They make it through the front door, which was left unlocked for the teen to come back home. Probably not the smartest idea, but they had no neighbors close by anyway and John Winchester wasn't lurking around to steal from them anymore.

When they enter the home, it's Dean who sees him first. Bobby was passed out on the floor by the couch, probably just rolled off in his sleep but it scares them both. "Bobby!" they both shout in unison.

Dean crouches down and rolls his uncle over, to find him blinking the drunk slumber from his eyes. "You scared us-" he says with a heavy sigh, hands trembling on the mans flannel covered shoulders. "The fuck you doin' drinking? Doctor said not to and you know it-"

Bobby wipes his sleepy eyes, "Hurts like hell when yer pissed at me, boy-" he sighs. "M'sorry-"

Dean nods stupidly, "Well, I'm always pissed. At everything-" and that's all he says before helping his uncle off the floor and down the hall to his bedroom. 

Castiel doesn't follow them, knowing they might need to talk about some things privately. After all, he's trying to not _father_ Dean so much. They're family and they need to hash it out on their own, without his help. By the time Dean comes back to him by the front door, he's biting his nails anxiously. 

"Is he okay?" his eyes are filled with concern.

Dean nods, "Yea-" then laughs softly. "Son of a bitch is the toughest out of all of us-" and Castiel doesn't disagree because it was the truth.

They hug goodbye, for now, and go their separate ways. Castiel goes home, and Dean goes to his uncles bedroom to sleep in his bed for the night. It's only to keep him company and watch out for him through out the night in case he gets sick. But Bobby was good about that, booze never really affected him, almost like he had a belly made of steel.

Only if he were like that too, but he's not in the least bit. Everything seems to give him a stomach ache, or make him queasy. His therapist keeps reassuring him that it's only his anxiety. So it really is all on his fucking head and it really sucks, knowing that his mind is stronger than his body is. His train of thought leads to dark places while he lays next to his sleeping uncle.

If his father could have seen him a few months back, when he was so sick and weak. There's no doubt in his mind that John would have beat his ass, absolutely no doubt. It was almost sinful to have any kind of emotion while growing up, but it didn't stop him from showing them and he got a harsh hand to his backside many times for it. Dean sighs heavily, thinking about his father, really thinking about him for the first time in a long while.

Dean thinks about the topic so long that his stomach actually begins to hurt so he rolls onto his side, clutching his abdomen. As soon as thoughts of how his mother comforted him those few times growing up, that's when sleep manages to overcome him and he fades away into nothingness. Maybe he'll have a dream of being in his loving mothers arms, getting soft kisses to his forehead. 

Maybe he'll get everything he missed out while he sleeps tonight. A mother, a father, a boyfriend. Hell, maybe even a sibling or a dog. It's his dream, so why not. 


	68. Just Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created a little video for my fic if anyone is interested in watching and I hope you like it :) (some scenes are showing Jack from his profile view or back of his head because there isn't enough young Dean on spn:)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SEk_xd3q0c

Bobby notices the instant his nephew pads sleepily into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. Once again no effort to prepare a good hearty breakfast is not made this morning. Even if he wasn't losing a tremendous amount of weight, it was still concerning because this time it wasn't so much about _starving._

His eating habits were more on the binge eating spectrum- he was eating and that was good, _Right?_ Both Bobby and Castiel thought so. _At first._

Dean would come home from school and pig out on everything that was in the fridge and he did that every day the last few weeks. If Bobby woke up to find his nephew eating at the kitchen table in the middle of the night, it didn't phase him.

They probably should have thought more about the teens eating habits because missing a day or two a week of school was becoming normal as well, due to stomach issues. How could he not have them, when he was eating one large meal a day or snacking on random crap all day.

When the teen sits at the table with his coffee, "That Robin girl keeps callin'-" and his eyes make contact with lifeless green eyes. "She want's ya to give er' a ride to the mall this afternoon-"

Dean yawns obnoxiously, "Don't wanna-" 

"C'mon, I'll let ya take the truck-" and the keys are tossed at the teen, who catches them without a heads up.

"Anythin' for a drive, I guess-" he stands and goes to put on his jacket by the front door, boots too.

Bobby smiles, "Aren't you cheap, boy-"

Dean laughs softly, "I heard that-" and he's out the door, walking towards the large truck.

The drive to pick up Robin was a long one, almost an hour long before finally pulling up to the girls home. She had a nice one at that and he'd been jealous about it since the first time he'd driven her home from the diner. The brunette slams the door shut behind her as she exits, waving in his direction instantly and with excitement. It makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside because this girl still really likes him. Come on, it's _flattering._

Dean gives her a cocky smile and reaches across to push open the passenger side door open. She hops in and quickly pulls him in for a tight embrace, giving him chills because her hands felt ice cold on the back of his neck. Things are quiet in the truck, _well_ , not really because Robin's been talking the whole time and he's just been silent. Just _listening._

It actually surprises him when the girl grabs onto his hand as they walk up to the mall, cold fingers lacing with his. "Robin-" his voice is unsure, because he doesn't want to give her any mixed signals or get her hopes up.

Robin blinks away the _almost_ snowflakes that are blowing into their faces, "Guy is staring at me-" and Dean nods in assurance, wrapping his arm heavily around her and pulls her close to him. "Thanks-" her voice is soft, she does like Dean Winchester and maybe it's a little more than she lets on but she knows he belongs to someone else. Castiel sure is one _lucky_ guy.

Once inside the mall, the two teens stay huddled close together as they browse almost every store. Every now and then, Dean looks over his shoulder to check if that same guy who was eyeing Robin was following them. He _wasn't,_ but now he was paranoid and because of this, he wasn't able to enjoy the mall trip freely.

Eventually Robin pulls away from Dean and goes to buy some hot chocolate from a cafe without telling him, it's not like it bothers him and he simply goes to take a seat with all the other men who seemed to be waiting for their girlfriends or wives. Dean looks around thinking that this is what it must be like to be married, just sitting down and waiting while your partner shops and he's not sure how to feel about it.

Luckily he's going to marry a man, God hoping, so maybe sitting around bored at the mall won't be in his future. When Robin comes back, she hands him a festive looking cup of hot chocolate and it's greatly appreciated. "Mmm-" he hums in approval at the warmth going down his throat and fills his chest. "Find everything you needed?" his voice sounds really casual as they people watch and take some time to rest their feet.

The girl rests her head against his shoulder, "Mhm, just one more store-" her eyes peek up at Dean, who isn't paying her no attention at the moment. "Your torture is almost done-" and he only _hmm's_ in response.

Dean's aloof and distracted, until they head into a lingerie store. _Victoria Secret._ "I'll go wait-" but the girl is dragging him inside against his will, and he wants to leave but a part of him wants to browse. So he does the cliche gay best friend thing and helps her pick out a couple things to wear for that guy she's been seeing, the one she met at the diner. "So, what's this guy like-" he seems very distracted by the lingerie set in his hand, then places the dainty undergarment back in it's place on the rack.

Robin smiles, "He's a good guy-" and her voice is so hopeful. She walks over to the full length body mirror and places the lingerie set in front of her as if to see what it would look like on her body. "How's this?"

Dean comes over and stands behind her, arms crossed at his chest. He squints pensively, "You're only sixteen, sure you wanna be doin' this-" and her smile drops. "Givin' him your-" his eyes glance down south of her body. "Is just gonna give him the wrong idea, probably just end up takin' advantage of you-"

Robin nods, "You're right-" and goes to put the lingerie set back. "I just-" she sighs, "Won't he get bored of me if I don't sleep with him?" her voice sounds unsure, insecure.

Dean smiles, "Any guy would be lucky to have you. Don't let him pressure you-" then he glances around. "Come on, I'll buy you a perfume or somethin'-" if being the worlds best friend were a thing, he would definitely win an award for that- or at least a medal. 

The girl hugs his arm and they walk to the perfume display. She's smelling every single bottle, but she can tell that her friends attention is elsewhere. "Dean?" her face is one of curiosity. "What do you keep staring at-" then it hits her, he was starting at the display of _panties._ "You like panties?"

Dean bites his lip as his gaze falls down to the floor and kicks his boots like he'd been busted. But he says, "Yea-" softly before looking up to meet hers. "S'that weird?"

Robin smiles and shrugs her shoulders, "Who cares what I think, let's go look-" and they go over to the panties. 

The pair of teens giggle secretly among themselves as they look through them and Dean finally let himself just _be._ Now they were having more fun and Dean chose a pair of panties to take home, to wear for _him_ because why the hell not. He'd settled on a pair of satin pink panties and Robin approved of his choice. Dean actually bought her a bottle of perfume that was on sale and left the mall in way better spirits than they had walked in with.

Dean almost forgot about his purchase until Robin comes running back to the truck once they get to her house. "You forget somethin-" he opens the drivers side window. Robin hands him a small gift bag from Victoria Secret. "Thanks-" surely he's blushing beet red from head to toe right now. "Bye, I'll call you-"

Robin rolls his eyes before kissing him goodbye on his stubble covered cheek, "You're a liar, Dean Winchester-" and calls back to him, "Let me know what he thinks!" with laughter in her voice once she's at her front doorstep. 

Dean honks the trucks horn a few times with a smile on his face before peeling out of her driveway. The drive home is relaxing and he enjoys the cold breeze blowing in from the cracked open window. By the time he gets home it's nightfall and it wasn't surprising, it'd been getting dark so early these days now that it was pretty much winter. The teen hops off the truck and again, almost forgets his purchase under the seat.

The bag was so small that he was able to stuff it under his jacket to hide from his uncle Bobby. Luckily the man was out back finishing up on a car so he went straight to his room to look at his new panties. They were soft, and even though they were new, he sniffs them to find out that they smelled amazing anyhow. Now the question was raised, when the hell is he going to wear these for _Cas?_

Dean folds them up and hides them under a pile of his boxers that were messily crammed into the first drawer of his wooden dresser. He'll get use out of these at some point, he's sure of it. Maybe a few sexy selfies are in order tonight that he'll be sending to his older boyfriend.

"Yea!" he shouts in response to his uncle asking if he was going to come eat. "Mmm-" he smiles, pulling out a chair to sit on at the kitchen table. "Smells good, what're we havin'-" and right then, the screen door creaks- then slams shut. A quick look over his shoulder reveals his disheveled but always sexy stepfather. "Hey Cas-" and tries to hide a smile.

Castiel takes a seat at the table, not knowing if he and Dean were on good terms or not since they weren't exactly speaking every day. "Hello Dean-" his eyes are averted, keeping to himself because the teens uncle was standing by the stove, cooking. 

Dean leans over the table, "I think were allowed to look at each other-" they both chuckle softly. "Right, Bobby?"

Bobby places a couple of overfilled dinner plates on the table, "Shut it and eat yer dinner-" but the tone is humorous so they all laugh. "Okay that I invited em' to come for dinner?" he asks his nephew who simply nods, mouth full of food.

Dinner went extremely well, Castiel let loose and was bickering away with Bobby over something stupid. The topic was cars and Bobby had been hounding Castiel to get something replaced and he disagreed with the need to do so. So there they were, arguing lightly over a topic that Castiel had no knowledge of but pretending like he somehow knew exactly what he was going on about.

Dean loves this, loves seeing his _family_ get along and almost wishes he hadn't ruined it by playing footsies under the table. The mans knee quickly bumps the underside of the table and is unable to concentrate on his conversation with his uncle. Eventually he grows bored of not being the center of attention so he excuses himself without too much trouble.

Dean gets into the shower and gets himself squeaky clean in no time so it's not entirely shocking when he exits the bathroom to still find Castiel at the table with Bobby. He goes straight for his room and is about to pull on a pair of fresh boxers, but goes for the satin panties instead. They feel so soft going up his thighs, and feel amazing cupping his privates against his body so tightly.

Everything is so _snug_ in there, the sensation alone threatens to make him hard. All he wants to do is show Castiel his brand new panties, it'd been a few years since he's shown off his plush bubble but in something like this. Dean hops into bed and starts snapping explicit photos using his laptop for the man, to send later. He must have taken about ten photos, in all kinds of angles.

Later couldn't come soon enough so he chooses a more _innocent_ photo and presses send. The photo he just sent to his stepfathers email was one of him looking over his shoulder, his ass on display. Instantly he regrets it because now the insecurity is setting in, thoughts similar to _is my butt too big?_ start swimming around in his mind.

The response comes rather quick, a text from the man with the words _Jesus.._ which does bring a smile to his face. He could feel his ears going pink before sending a second photo displaying everything from the neck down. His full chest and stomach were shown, as well as a hint of the waistband of his new panties. This time, there's no response but there is a loud slam of the screen door and that can only mean one thing- he left.

It's not long before there's a gentle tapping on his bedroom window, "Cas-" he rolls over in bed and yes, not the smartest thing for a teenage boy to prance around in his bedroom wearing panties. Even if you did live in the middle of nowhere, no one should ever do that. "What're you doin'-" he pushes the window up halfway.

Castiel opens it further so he can climb through, then stands up straight and completely towers over the almost naked teenager. "What are you thinking, sending me these?" his phone is held up between them to show the explicit photos. 

Dean swallows dryly, "I bought these today-" his fingers tug on the lacy waistband of the panties. "Do you like them?" the question is asked innocently. 

Castiel doesn't respond because although he does like the panties, it's not fun to receive photos like this in front of the teens rather frightening uncle. When he turns around, that's when he gets a real look of his plush bottom, his cheeks peeking through the panties is what does him in. He caves, exhaling loudly in arousal.

"Yes, Dean. I like them-" and he's pushing him onto the bed, bending him over and getting a handful of his ass. "Fuck-" the curse is whispered softly.

Dean struggles underneath the weight of his stepfather, "Nnn-" and looks over his shoulder because nails were digging into his flesh. A large hand then strokes lovingly up and down his bare back, causing him to arch and his ass rises slightly. 

Castiel's eyes had been locked with Deans, and now they drifted down to the ass pressing against his crotch. "So fucking beautiful-" he's pressing chaste kisses on the teens lower back right before yanking down the panties low enough to expose those plush cheeks. "Mm-" and basically french kisses them, like he might just bite into them but never does.

Dean's lips part but no sound slips out of him, because they both know that Bobby is inside the home not to far away. The man behind him man handles his body into a doggy style position. Again, he looks over his shoulder to see what's happening behind him. Castiel places one knee on the bed and looks to be contemplating something, looks like he decided against it because he steps back to pull his pants back up.

The teen lets himself fall onto the bed, on his stomach but is man handled onto his elbows and knees once more. "Cas-" his tone is tight, annoyed. "Make up your damn mind-" a moist, thick finger is probing it's way inside his hole. "Ugh-" his head falls forward, resting on the bed.

"Shh-" the voice behind him hushes, "Relax for me-"

His tone of voice is so seductive and soft that the teen's knees just widen up all the way, in a position that reveals an entirely new capacity for flexibility that neither of them knew he was capable of. "Ugh-" the soft moan escapes his parted lips. Castiel fingers the teens ass with just his middle finger, all the while whispering beautiful words of encouragement. " _Ugh,_ Cas-"

Castiel slowly removes his finger before flipping the teen onto his back and he's almost nervous, because he's really that gorgeous. "I do love you in these-" his fingers tug on the lace waistband of the panties, "But you knew that, didn't you-" his voice is questioning, but warm. Dean nods, eyes looking up at him innocently and wide. "You really love me, don't you-"

The teen wraps his arms around his stepfather as soon as he climbs onto the bed and over him. "You know I do-" his voice is shaky, but aroused. "I love you-" shaky breath. "-so much."

Castiel and and Dean's noses rub against each other, they can smell Bobby's dinner on each others breaths. It should be unpleasant, yet somehow it's not. "You mean the world to me, Dean-" his words are whispered against his neck because Castiel is busy kissing the freckled covered skin.

Dean swallows and tries his absolute best not to lose his mind. " _Ughh-"_ he groans softly, his fingers tangle into the mans dark hair and tugs. A wet tongue swirls and laps at his nipple, " _Ughh-"_ another groan escapes him. He's looking down at his stepfathers ridiculously long tongue and puffy lips devour his flesh tenderly, the view is so hot, so enticing that an orgasm is building up within him. 

"Cas-" his voice trembles. The panties are at his knees now and it looks like the guy is going to suck his dick. "Cas, I-" and his dick is now inside a very warm, wet mouth. " _Ughh,_ Cas I'm-" and he comes, without warning.

Castiel almost choked during a blowjob, for the first time. Dean could tell that his come almost shot out the mans nose because the guy has his nose pinched at the bridge like it burned. Sort of like when soda goes up your nose by accident. "Sorry-" his voice is small, apologetic.

Castiel looks up at him from where he was between his thighs, and smiles warmly. "You didn't do anything wrong sweetheart-" he pulls up the teens panties to his waist before climbing into the bed with him, and lays on his side. His fingers lazily brush through the light colored hair. "I miss you, baby-" 

Dean closes his eyes longingly when a kiss is placed on his stubble covered jawline, "Miss you too-" and his cheeks are flushed. So he didn't get fucked, but they still broke somewhat broke the rules. But moments like _this_ are worth it.

Castiel pulls away, his thumb tracing the teens stubble. "This is new-" and the tone of his voice sounds neither excited nor sad about this.

Dean's had stubble before, but it was pretty sparse and took forever to grow. Now the stubble came in after three days of shaving his face, it was a big change and it let him now that he's growing up. "You like it?" 

Castiel nods after being pensive for a moment too long, "Mhm-"

Dean cups the older mans face in his hands and studies him, his eyes looking at every line and crease on his face. It seems to make Castiel uncomfortable because he looks down, as if in humiliation. When Dean kisses him, that's when he looks up to meet his gaze. "Love you-" the words are whispered.

"I'm getting so old-"

"Shut up-" they share a brief kiss. "You're sexy-" his fingers run though the mans dark hair that now has some gray to it, not a whole lot but it was there. "So fuckin' sexy-"

Castiel blushes and lets his head rest against the teens chest. "If you say so-" and the second he looks up, their lips find each other again and they begin to kiss softly. The kiss is slow and tender, tongues rubbing against each other. He pulls away after a few minutes because something very heavy and big was still in his pants, "I should go-" and he's got to get the hell out of there before he becomes very selfish and does something more that he shouldn't.

Dean looks down at the bulge in the mans pants, "Show it to me?"

Castiel bites his lip before his hand goes to pull down his zipper as if contemplating showing him, then pauses and the teen grabs him by the chin and kisses him with tongue, teeth and everything in between. "Mmm-" they pull away, a thin string of saliva breaks apart between their mouths. "I should go-" the words are repeated, but there's no meaning behind them.

Dean leans in to kiss him again, "Then go-" his tone is soft, almost a whisper. 

Castiel actually whimpers helplessly, "Stop kissing me-" the teen's lips keep pressing softly against his repeatedly, lazily. "I gotta go, Dean-" but he's not making any effort to get off the bed.

Dean mumbles, "But you taste so good-" against his lips and his arms wrap around the man, keeping him close so they can keep kissing. "I just wanna make you feel good-" and the man pulls away, "Come on, please?" and he's contemplating once again, because he's a good man and wants to keep his promises to Bobby. "Please daddy? with cherries on top-" it's not fair, he's using that super innocent puppy dog face that was mastered at the age of five.

Castiel's nostrils flare before kissing the teen one final time, "I have to go-"

Dean props himself on his elbows, watching his stepfather fix himself in his pants in obvious sexual frustration. "Guess I'll see you around?-" they share a final glace and nod, before he exits the bedroom through the window. "Fuck my life-" he groans, letting himself fall backwards onto the bed.

Surprisingly Dean got a full nights rest with minimal tossing and turning, Castiel on the other hand did not. By the time morning rolls around, a chill runs through his body that causes him to shiver. Then it hits that he'd fallen asleep in just his _panties,_ "Oof-" he huffs before crawling under the thick covers. A quick glance at his watch lets him know that it's almost time for class, which has him punching the mattress at his side before hauling himself out of his bed.

The last thing he wanted to do was go to class, but it was something that was going to be good for him in the long run. Those were Castiel's words, not his and he supposes that they would prove to be true in time. Surely Castiel didn't always feel like going to school but did so anyway and now look at him, successful and shit. 

The teen shivers in the morning chill as he kicks off the panties off his body and pulls on a pair of boxers, jeans and a sweater. It was one of those nerdy sweaters that his step father had gotten him from the mall and it was finally going to get some use. Those things will suffocate you on warmer days, but today was a good day for it. After water is splashed on his face and his teeth are brushed, he's stops by the front door to put his jacket on.

Bobby watches him from the kitchen table, "Mornin'-" the gruff voice has the teen looking up while zipping his jacket. "Ain't it Friday?"

Now Dean groans for another reason, he'd forgotten that there's no classes on Friday. "Damn it-" he's unzipping, "Got up for nothin'-"

Bobby sets down his nearly empty mug of coffee on the kitchen table before joining him by the door with his jacket in hand, "Yer welcome to come into town with me-" his nephew hesitates before shrugging and following his outside to the truck. As they buckle themselves in, "Gotta get some stuff for a car I gotta finish-"

Dean nods mindlessly, completely focused on turning on the heat that barely even worked. "Fuckin' fix the heater Bobby-" his hands are rubbing together for warmth before stashing them between his denim covered thighs.

Bobby notices the movement and nods, "Guess it's time, winter came early-" the drive is silent until, "So, what're ya thinkin' we should do for Thanksgivin' boy-"

Dean looks over at his uncle in annoyance, it really is too damn early in the morning to be discussing holidays and not to mention he fucking hates holidays. "Nothin'-" is all he huffs, his knee bounces up and down because of the cold. Eventually saying, "But I won't turn down pie-" and the words sound like he might just come around to the idea.

The bearded man chuckles as he pulls into the small parking lot of the familiar auto store, and they were the only ones there. "Ya did always like pie, why's that?" the conversation sounds casual while they both hop off the truck, with the teen almost falling onto his face. The truck really is too high up off the ground.

Dean stuffs his hand into his jackets pockets after opening the door for his uncle and another elderly man approaching the store at the same time. "Mom used to make them-" he finally answers once they're walking through the aisles, side by side.

Bobby looks down at his nephew, "Sorry bud-" and pats his shoulder before telling him to run along and find some nice scented air fresheners while he goes in search of the more complex items he needs. The teen walk away slowly, like he didn't really want to be there. 

Dean walks through the aisles and is stopped by the same elderly man who he held the door open for not five minutes ago. The man had forgotten his glasses at home and was having a hard time reading the labels on bottles of motor oil, but he was happy to help. They shook hands and the man left, leaving him behind with a wrinkly ten dollar bill in his palm.

Dean didn't want the mans money because it looked like he couldn't afford to part with it, but he pocketed it anyway since the man had vanished a little too quickly. Maybe one day he'll see him, at the diner or something and hell give him a twenty for just being a cool dude.

When Bobby and Dean finally meet up at the register, his eyes look up to see _Brady,_ who fucking smiles. "Mornin'-" he says casually, as if forgetting who the guy was. Brady rings the items up and tells them their total, which Dean pays for completely with the money he earns from being his stepfathers _housekeeper._ "Thanks-" he grabs the two paper bags before heading out.

Brady runs after them both, "Dean!" and the teen turns around. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Dean looks at his uncle before nodding and following him into the store. "I'm sort of in a rush-" it's a lie, there's no rush. In the few moments of silence, he's thinking that maybe there is a rush. Bobby is getting older and should be eating something by now, before his blood sugar drops. 

Brady's eyes flicker down to the teens lips, then down his body as if checking him out. The gaze is seductive, like he wants him. "You look good, man-"

Dean smiles, crossing his arms at his chest. "Really?" shakes his head. 

Brady pulls the younger teen close, by the waist. "You smell good-" 

Dean gulps uncomfortably, "I don't want anything-" and pulls the reluctant hands off his hips. "I don't do _that_ anymore-"

The guy scoffs, laughing. "Sure you do, how else would you have that kinda cash?" and he's referring to the two hundred the teen just dropped in paying for his uncles things less than two minutes ago. "So, what is it now?" pause. "Working the street corner full time then-" laughs, "Or cheap motels, that it?"

Dean wants to beat the guy once again and he could, because he's damn good at kicking ass. But no, he's almost legal which means he can't be doing shit like this anymore. Jail is becoming more of a possibility if me messes up, prison too. "I work for it, asshole-" and he's got no idea why he even cares what this coke head thinks about him.

"Oh, you _work_ for it-" 

Dean feels completely powerless to stop things from escalating when Brady comes closer to him, speaking softly. The guy gently reminds him of how cute he looked on his knees, with his cock in his mouth. His breathing stutters when he feels the guys soft lips brush against his ear, while speaking into it. The little bell on the door jingles to reveal an impatient but confused Bobby Singer.

Brady steps away, hands in his pocket like they had just been goofing and talking cars. Dean straightens up his jacket before exiting the store with a whole lot of anger and shame weighing heavy in his stomach. He leaves the auto store without saying anything and Brady just gets back to work, Bobby seems to put the fear of God in him for some reason. It's something he's going to have to remember, just in case.

When Bobby pulls into the diners parking lot, it doesn't surprise him and it actually makes him feel better because he likes the diner. Dean hasn't said much on the drive there, if anything.

Dean orders a milkshake and some fries, "It's lunch time somewhere-" he says when his uncle gives him a look that conveys _sure ya wanna eat that?_

Bobby says, "What did that Brady kid want you for-" before digging into his bacon and toast. 

Dean's lips wrap around the striped bendy straw, shrugging his shoulders in response. He's pissed because he doesn't like the guy at all, so why does he go weak in the knees like that. When anyone talks down to him, or when someone dominates him in any kind of way- his knees just go weak. _Why?_ He must have been lost in his thoughts a little too long because when he snaps himself out of it, his uncle is staring at him.

"What-" he asks mindlessly, shoving the last fry in his mouth. "I'm eating, so what are you starin' at me like that for-"

Bobby looks down at his nephews empty plate, "Ya did eat. Good for you boy-" and forces a smile before pulling out his over stuffed wallet. 

Dean notices the large wallet, filled with receipts and random little scratches of paper. "Lemme get it-" and pulls out his own, taking out a few bills to pay with plus tip. "Ya gotta start lettin' me treat you Bobby, you're my uncle and I wanna pay you back some-"

The bearded man blinks away the redness from his eyes, "Alright, son-" and that melts the teens heart a little bit.

Dean clears his throat, "Let's go, yea?" and they stand up to leave, but not before Robin comes over to give him a quick hug because she seems to always miss him. "Bye, I'll call you-" and it's a lie, he won't call her. It's nothing personal, he's got a lot on his mind lately and she knows that. 

Back in the truck, on the way home, Bobby speaks up. "That girl likes ya something fierce boy-" and Dean looks over to his uncle, then shrugs. "I know ya love em'-" he means Castiel, "But don't ya wanna try with Robin, fer real. I think you two look real nice together-" there's a minute or two of silence between them, "Ya could marry her and have a baby. I can give ya real good work, so she can stay home and raise-"

Dean sighs, running his cold hands up and down his thighs to warm them up. "I'm stayin' with Cas-" and there's no room for discussion there. All of what his uncle was saying, it did sound really good, like really fucking good but something inside of him always wants _Cas._ "I can have all that with him-" now his tone is unsure, "We can get married, have a family-" and he's biting his nails again.

Bobby looks over with a frown on his face, "Sure can, but do ya know how hard it is to find a baby to adopt?"

Dean blurts out, "Cause we're gay?" and it sounds so weird saying it out loud because he's never called himself _gay_ before. Castiel was the _gay_ one and he was always just- "I don't wanna talk about this anymore-" he's looking out the window now, because shame is crawling up his spine and it's an odd feeling. 

Bobby nods, continuing the drive in silence until they reach home a good while later. "Dean?" the teen looks over his shoulder because he was just about to exit the truck. "Being gay is a hard life-"

Dean jumps out of the truck and casually says, "Why are you telling me this?" In a soft tone.

"Cause' it is-" he sighs, "Life's hard enough as a straight man, but-"

The teen nods, biting his lip nervously. "I'm confused, alright-" their eyes meet. "Do you think I'm-" there's a pause. "- _gay?"_

Bobby chuckles, "My nephew is in love with a man-" and the teen gives him a shy but sad smile. "Take these-" he leans over, handing the teen the two paper bags with their car items. "-and go wait for me out back, gonna teach ya how to put in a pair of spark plugs-"

Dean is about to protest because he's done this particular job a few times now, but then again those cars where somehow always brought back because he'd made a mistake. "Sure, Bobby-" and he's off.

Bobby watches his nephew walk around the house to the backyard and sighs. It might sound selfish to wish a different life for his nephew, but it's what his boy wants and there's not a damn thing he can do about it. Dean's almost eighteen and his opinion won't matter soon. They meet out back, with a shy smile shared between the two family members before they get started on a whole day of work.

"Think you'd wanna be with that girl if ya never got with em'-" the question is asked so suddenly that Dean ends up hurting himself. "Watch it, boy-"

Dean shakes his hand frantically to dull the pain, "I had a girlfriend, before-" his voice is unsure again. "Why you friggin' pushing this-" and wipes his hand on the rag he's given. "Being with a girl was nice, but I love-"

"Ya love Cas-" he finishes the sentence. "I got that, yea. But-" then stands up straight. "I kinda sorta loved my buddy Crowley too, and I sure as hell didn't make a life with em'-"

Dean studies his uncle, "Did you want to?" and leans over the car, resuming his prior task. "People don't give a shit what you do-" he huffs, "We hide because I'm too young, what's your excuse-" and it sounds like a challenge, when his green eyes peek up- it was confirmed, he's challenging his uncle.

Bobby smacks him on the head, "Times were different back then boy, and don't talk to me like that-" the teen smirks before looking down at what he's doing. "Could'a gotten beat up for it back in the day, not so common now-" he laughs, "Seems like everybody is either gay or somethin'-"

Dean nods because the conversation is hilarious and it surprises him how open his uncle could be sometimes. _Sometimes._

"Since when are we afraid of gettin' our asses beat?" they make eye contact. "I've gotten my share of-" and the mood changes between them, and he won't continue because the guilt is evident in his uncles dark eyes. "But yea, gettin' my ass beat don't scare me-"

Bobby simply takes over, finishing up the job for his nephew. "Almost done here, why don't ya go inside and eat-"

Dean worries his lip anxiously, "Yea, okay-" and steps inside the home- the screen door bumping painfully into his hip on the way in. Once inside the privacy of the kitchen, he lifts his shirt to see his midsection, noticing the bones on his body sticking out the slightest bit. Like they did _before_ moving out here. "Damn it-" and it sounds almost angry, because how did he let himself get like _this_ again? 

Instead of sulking in his minor weight loss, he decides to fix up some sandwiches for him and his uncle. It sounded pretty damn good after a long day of work, regardless of the cold day they both still managed to work up a sweat. They both always stunk so bad after working under the hood of a car and it has him thinking, would Robin still like him like _this?_

Castiel was so used to Dean being a little more than musty after fixing a car or even when he was younger and came into the house after playing all day with Sam. But Robins a girl and girls don't like when boys stink, all that fussing over him- he could just picture it. Coming home after a long day of working and sweating his ass off at some shop, and then her nagging him to get in the shower before even getting the chance to kiss her. It would drive him _insane.._

Besides, his step father knows the darkest and the ugliest parts of him, and stayed. Somehow it makes being with him easier, more comfortable. Surely if Robin, or any girl saw the real Dean Winchester they would run off screaming into the night because he feels like a monster more than half the time. All those demons inside him, that taunt him about everything that's wrong within him- they'll scare off any female.

But why? Maybe that's John Winchesters voice in his head again, telling him hes such a freak.

Dean likes Robin and their friendship doesn't feel dull or boring but a life _together_ is different. A _marriage_ is different, and he does want it with anyone but _Cas._ His thoughts go haywire once again and he feels trapped, with the sudden urge to steal the keys to his uncles truck and just _go._

It's exactly what he does, and winds up at Robin's house. After honking the horn twice, the girl opens the front door and squints in confusion to see him there because they didn't have plans to hang out. Nevertheless, she runs out after closing the door for a quick moment to slip into her pretty red coat.

"What are you doing here-" she says the second she climbs into the truck.

Dean licks his lips before leaning in and kissing her softly, neither of them move to deepen the kiss or anything. He opens his eyes to see that hers are already open and wide in surprise. "Trying somethin'-" and he kisses her again, this time the girl melts into it and leans against him. Dean's a teenage boy and very aware of her breasts pushed up against his chest, it's different that's for sure but it's not unpleasant. 

His trembling hand cups her cheek for a moment before wrapping around her neck as if to squeeze - _this isn't Cas-_ so his hand wanders to her back to explore. "This okay?" his voice is barely above a whisper, "Should I stop-" and swallows the nervous lump in his throat.

Robin shivers, clearly scared too. "Dean-" and he's kissing her again, softly and so sweetly. "Hmmm-" she whines, pushing him off her. "Dean, what about Cas-"

Dean's head falls on her shoulder before he starts shaking, like trying to hold back tears. "I'm so friggin' confused-" anger over takes him, causing him to punch the steering wheel. Robin backs away a little, "Sorry-I'm sorry." it's not working because she still looks scared. "Robin, I'm so sorry-" 

It dawns on him once again how easily frightened girls can be and does he really want to deal with this? When it's just the _guys,_ he can do anything and no one bats an eye. But _girls.._

Robin sniffles, "What's this all about anyway?" looking him directly in the eye.

"You know I'd be with you if I wasn't, if I didn't have-" finally, a smile from the girl. "I'm an asshole and you deserve better anyway-"

Robin almost giggles before kissing him on the lips once more, and his anger melts away. "What do you think of my boobs?" the subject is changed and Dean's brain short circuits, glancing down at her chest and losing the ability to speak. "I'm just asking, cause were friends-" her own eyes look down at her chest. "Should I be saving my tips for a boob job?"

Dean inhales because he's still unable to speak. "No, you don't need one-" he manages to choke out after a while. "But I uh-" he licks his lips, "I did like kissing you. Your lips uh, they're really soft-"

Robin rolls her eyes before shoving him away and hopping off the truck, "Thanks for coming over and mauling me, you dog-" it's the tone of her voice that lets him know that there's no bad blood between them. "So, you'll call?"

Dean nods, smiling at her and somehow knowing he still won't fucking call this wonderful girl who treats him like gold. "Sure, take care-" he winks before starting the truck and pulling out of the driveway. He's not that much of an asshole and really does intend to call her, but things get in the way. Things like _Cas._

The drive home is silent, the radio was off and he made no move to switch it on to find a station to listen to. Really, all he wanted to listen to were his own thoughts but there was so much background noise in his head, too many voices telling him this or that. His fathers voice, telling him he's a good for nothing punk and his uncle, telling him to settle down with Robin and have a friggin _baby_ of all things.

"Fuck-" he parks the car in front of Bobby's and spends a few minutes just thinking. Maybe Robin would be good for him in the end, there would be no drama, no shame and definitely no hiding.

It was late, almost nine but it's not like he had school tomorrow so there was no rush to get to sleep. A quick glance next door lets him know that his stepfather is home, but there's no desire to go over and see what he's getting up to tonight.

Dean jumps out of the truck to head inside, finding his uncle at the kitchen table and eating that sandwich he'd left for him. 

"Hey-" he says quietly, leaning against the kitchens entryway.

The bearded man looks up, surprisingly not pissed that his truck had gone missing for almost an hour. "Where'd ya run off to?"

"Went to see Robin-" his fingers play around with the keys still in his hand. Bobby looks at him expectantly, "I'm still confused, sorry to disappoint-" 

"S'okay, boy-" his tone is one of understanding, "I ain't tryna pressure you into nothin', I was just sayin'-"

Dean nods before tossing the keys onto the table. "I get it, you want me to have a normal life or whatever-" he sniffles, wiping under his nose with the sleeve of his jacket. "I love him and I don't know-" his eyes are filled with tears. "He's a part of me, and I can't-"

Bobby stands up and pulls his nephew into a tight hug. When the teen sobs between apologies he has to put an end to it, "Shh-" his large hand rubs up and down his back to soothe him. "I ain't goin' to change ya-" he pulls away, "I just want ya to know that ya got more options than just Cas-"

Dean wipes his eyes on his uncles flannel, not that the man would mind because he's seen him in worse conditions that this. "I know-" their eyes meet. "Part of me wants to explore them, but Cas-"

"Cas-" Bobby repeats with a huff, "Shall we just shoot em'-" their eyes meet. "Get em' out of the way, bury his body out back-" they both chuckle. "Not like anybody will ever find em'-"

The teen laughs weakly before shoving his uncle playfully, "You always know how to make me laugh, thanks Bobby-" and he's about to walk off to his bedroom, but looks over his shoulder. "You _were_ kidding right?"

The man nods, "Sure was-" and it's only half a lie. "Go on and get to sleep-"

Dean smiles softly before opening the door to his room and locking it behind him. His cold fingertips press against his lips and pictures how good it actually felt to kiss Robin, the taste of her lip balm lingered on him. An odd ache swells in his chest and it only confirms just how confused he really is on the inside. Dean loves Castiel, but there's a whole world out there that he hasn't seen yet. Does he even _want_ to?

It's not really the men part that he's all that curious about, not really- unless they're mean to him, and there lies the issue. He gets hot every time any guy is an asshole to him, just like his own father was and maybe that's something he should bring up at his next therapy session. When he lies in bed, under the covers this time, it's when he thinks that his next appointment couldn't come soon enough.


	69. Don't Lie To Me

Dean is spending his Saturday morning cleaning at his stepfathers house, it really sucked but the one thing to come out of this was that he was paid generously to prance around with a duster in his hand. Sometimes it was a broom or a mop, but you get the idea. 

For being such anal dude, the guy rarely cleans these days. His defense? _Work._ Okay, makes sense- who wants to come home and clean after working at the hospital for 12 hours, every _single_ day of the week. So Dean proves useful here, his stepfather is in no way helping him out by letting him be his housekeeper. _Maybe._

After the house is almost spotless, the teen finds himself in Castiel's office and he's almost done in there when the open laptop sparks his curiosity. He peeks his head out into the hallway to make sure the coast is clear and after sitting down at the desk, he finds the laptop to be in good standing. There were no suspicious open tabs and definitely no porn, which only added to to his good mood.

Seems like the man earned himself a well deserved blowjob that would be coming sooner rather than later. 

Castiel had been in the living room, working on a paper for something which he has no clue about, nor cares to know about. The guy is a nerd and it's his business, always doing research and taking notes on his Ipad, which he's still very shocked that he knows how to even work one at his age. What is he now, almost _forty?_

Dean closes the only browser open to see that his wallpaper had been changed to a picture of them at the park. He smiles sadly because the picture was so old and he was merely twelve years old at that point. "Damn you, Cas-" his eyes sting with tears before closing the computer and it's obvious that the guy deserves a blowjob. 

Dean relaxes on the chair for a moment before opening one of the desks drawers because he's not quite done snooping yet, which he instantly comes to regret. There's a hand gun hidden underneath some old papers and his fingertips ghost over the cold object. "Shit-" the word escapes him and glances over his shoulder to make sure he's still alone, which he indeed was.

The teen pushes the drawer shut before going to the living room, his hands hiding innocently behind his back like a small child. "I'm done-" the quiet words startle his stepfather, his blue eyes look up at him from where he was sitting on the couch. "Need anythin' else?"

Castiel smiles and puts his pen and stack of papers down on the coffee table before leaning back against the couch. "Hiding something back there?" his gaze is focused on him and the teen pulls out his middle finger from behind his back. "Aren't you funny. Why don't you come over here and kiss me before you go-"

Dean sucks in a breath before walking up to the couch and sitting down next to the man, they're so close that their thighs touch. He looks up through his thick lashes, "I'm nervous-" the words surprise them both, mostly himself. "You're kinda intimidating, Cas-"

"Am I?" his lips ghost over the teens, "What makes me intimidating baby-" one of his hands is on the teens knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Dean holds back the urge to moan, "Um-" his mind is all fuzzy and clouded suddenly but he knows there's a gun down the hall that he just saw with his own two eyes. "Fuck-" his thighs spread apart, giving the large hand that was now on his inner thigh more room to grope. "Bobby-" he moans his uncles name, "I gotta go-" another weak moan. "He's waiting-"

Castiel frowns, but nods in defeat. "Well, alright baby-" 

Dean stands up awkwardly because he's hard in his jeans. "Uh-"

"You were leaving-" he deadpans, "The door is behind you, baby-" and picks up his pen to resume working. "You know, in case you forgot where it was-" 

His stepfather was clearly amused with his strange behavior, "Bye-" the teen turns around to leave feeling completely turned on but confused in more ways than he had been just the day before. 

All day his thoughts are stuck on what he found hidden in that desk drawer, under those old papers. Why would his stepfather have a _gun?_ A sudden clash of tools falling to the ground besides him startles him back to reality. 

Dean winces, "Shit-" before bending down to pick up the mess on the ground next to his boots. "Sorry Bobby-" but his uncle pays him no mind, knowing his nephew all to well. The boy can only keep his mind in order for about twenty minutes at a time so he was due for a screw up. "Can't do nothin' right today-" he tries to laugh his clumsiness away.

Bobby huffs softly, "Go ahead and take off-" their eyes meet. "Ya been helpin' me all day, go hang out with Cas or somethin'-" and his nephew doesn't need to be told twice. "Keep it PG will ya-" he's looking over his shoulder to watch his nephew wipe his dirty hands on a rag and head inside, the screen door almost smacking him in the back on his way in.

Dean doesn't intend on going next door like his uncle suggested, not saying he doesn't want to. Instead, he sits down at the table with a bag of chips and begins chowing down. It doesn't take very long before his uncle comes in smelling like wet dog, as usual. Surely he'll get the first shower since he worked the longest out of the two of them. 

"That your dinner?" his eyes glance at the bag of chips as he moves around the kitchen to fix himself something to eat.

Dean was looking down at an open car magazine and answers mindlessly. "Yea, guess so-" his eyes never leave the page.

Bobby knows better than to nag him constantly about food, so the topic isn't pressed. Maybe the smell of some grub will peek his interest and starts frying up some hot dogs on a pan, throwing in an extra two for his nephew just in case. By the time he's sitting down to eat, the teen reaches over and steals one of his hot dogs and moans at the first bite. 

"Eat it boy-" there's pure disgust on his face, but humor in his tone. "Don't have sex with it-"

The teens ears turn pink instantly and swallows before saying, "Shut up-" then takes another bite- moans. "I might just have sex with it after all-" It's meant as a joke because food tastes so damn good after a long day of work. His uncle throws a potato chip his way, it only serves to make them both laugh when he missed.

The rest of dinner went by silently with Dean looking through his magazine and Bobby reading the newspaper across from him at the table. Eventually he gets the courage to ask him if he was serious about letting him go hang out with Castiel which he was. So off he goes, with his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets and wishing he brought a heavier jacket on him as he stomps up the porch steps.

Dean lets himself in without knocking because why would he knock when he's got a key to the house. The home was well kept and tidy, just as he'd left it this morning but now all the lights were shut off. All but one, the yellow glow seeps through the open bedroom door which means the man he's looking for must be reading in bed as he'd always done before bed. It's his usual routine and it has been for years.

"Cas?" he walks up to the doorway and leans against the frame. The view before him was breathtaking, regardless of how _gay_ that may sound and it's exactly the word he'd used to describe Castiel Novak.

The older man was half nude, wearing nothing but a pair of tight briefs and his reading glasses. He looks up at him almost instantly, over his glasses and a smile forms on his puffy lipped mouth. "Dean, why are you here?" the smile now fades, but he's not angry about this little late night visit. "Everything okay?" he puts his book on the nightstand to give him his full attention.

Dean swallows again, "Yea-" kicking his boot on the floorboards. "Miss you, that's all-" the man opens his arms for a hug and he goes right into them, unable to resist. He sits down on the edge of the bed and leans into the warm embrace. His bare skin felt so good to snuggle into and wishes he could stay right _here_ forever. "You're so warm-" his voice is breathy, as if aroused. 

Castiel's fingers card into his short hair lovingly, "I'm glad you came to see me-" the teen look ups at him, "You left suddenly this morning, was something wrong?"

Dean thinks about it, surely he can talk to him about anything. _Right?_

"Talk to me baby-" his voice is so caring, so soft. "Tell me what's bothering you-"

Dean shivers in his arms, "I'm just- and goes with- "I'm so friggin' anxious, Cas-" which wasn't a complete lie. "I lost weight-" maybe it's easier to talk about the elephant in the room rather than the gun right now.

Castiel sighs, "I know baby-" their eyes meet again. "Do you feel sick? What's been going on-" 

The teen shrugs before saying, "When I get anxious, my stomach feels all weird-" shrugs again, "I hate this feeling-"

Castiel leans forward to kiss his forehead, "I feel anxious too. It's more common than you think, you have a lot going on baby-" another forehead kiss. "It's normal to feel like this-"

"Do you feel sick when your anxious?" the question is asked softly, his cheek is pressed against the mans bare chest.

"My stomach hurts, when I get nervous-" and oh does he know this, the man seems to run for the bathroom when he's extra nervous. "But you knew that, didn't you-" they both chuckle softly, awkwardly. "What's got you so anxious-" another kiss to his forehead.

Dean looks up to meet his eyes, chin resting on the mans chest. "I saw the gun you keep in your desk-" and almost instantly, he's brushed off the mans warm body. "Cas-" 

Castiel adjusts his glasses and reaches for the book he'd been reading, resuming the task as if the teen was somehow no longer there. "You should go home before Bobby comes to drag you back-"

"I'm talking to you-" he yanks the book from the mans grasp. "Why do you have a gun?" his tone isn't accusing, just curious. "I just wanna know-"

The man on the bed sighs heavily before saying, "It's Bobby's-" and steals the book back from the teen to shove it into the nightstand for safe keeping. "He gave it to me when you were seeing that shadow-" there's a pause, as if to back track his statement. "When you were seeing your dad outside-"

Dean sits down then, "Why didn't you just say that-" the look he's given has him kind of understanding his reasons. "You thought I'd steal the damn thing?" another _glare._ "You know me too damn well, I don't know how to feel about that-"

Castiel huffs, "There's nothing I don't know about you-" 

Dean shakes his head and mumbles, "Bet you don't know that sometimes I wanna get slapped and fucked with my hands tied behind my back-" which is instantly regretted, it just slipped out. His _only_ secret was out and it was too late because the man pulls him close lovingly. "Shit, don't make fun of me-"

Castiel smiles, peppering small kisses down his neck. "I can make that happen-" after a few more kisses, "I didn't know you were interested in bondage-"

Dean grabs the mans strong shoulders to keep him at bay, "It looks kinda cool-" his voice is shy. His stepfather gets up and reaches into his closet for one of his belts, "What are you doing-" his eyes follow the mans movements. When the belt comes down, smacking the bed beside him- it turns him on. "Fuck, that's hot-"

"Can I-" then shakes his head, because it's too much to ask. 

Dean's curious, "Spill it-" his eyes are looking up and begging to know what's on his mind. 

Castiel breathes heavily and grabs the teen by the chin gently, "I wanted to slap your ass with it-" a thrill runs up his spine when Dean nods his head, agreeing to it. "Push them down-" his eyes are focused on his jeans.

Dean unbuttons and unzips his jeans, pushing them down to his knees before getting man handled onto his stomach. He looks over his shoulder, mouth open because he wants it so bad. "Hit me-" his tone is nervous, but horny in all his teenage glory.

Castiel takes a few seconds to calm himself, his hand rubbing and grabbing at the plush ass on display just for him. The sudden light slap of leather against Dean's bare ass makes them both moan. "You okay?" he nods, looking over his shoulder innocently. "Fucking gorgeous-" another slap, still not hard enough to cause any real pain. "My kitten-" another slap.

Dean's rolled onto his back now, and whimpers. "Please-" the belt is shoved into his mouth for him to bite on or maybe to gag him. "Hmmp-" his blinking, looking up hopelessly at the man above him.

"You're my good kitten, aren't you-" the voice speaking into his ear is so sultry it has the teens eyes rolling back for a few seconds before nodding eagerly. "Good boy, I love my good boy-"

Dean grunts, nodding with excitement and his cute sharp teeth are digging into the leather of the belt in his mouth.

"I know you like it when I call you a good boy, don't you baby-" he's just looking down into green eyes, "Sorry I don't say it enough-" his hard crotch his rubbing against the teens. "Looks like you're hard for me-" his hand reaches down between their bodies to feel his erection over his boxers.

Dean whimpers helplessly over the belt in his mouth for no reason except that it feels hot to pretend that he's actually gagged. "Hmm, hmm, hmm-" his whimper sounds so sweet and pure. "Agh-" the man removes the belt from his mouth, admiring the teeth marks and saliva that were left on it. 

"So cute-" the leather is tossed onto the floor before kissing him with tongue and all. The teen whimpers constantly beneath him, "Shh baby, calm down-" 

"I-I need you-" his eyes are desperate and his lips are red from being kissed. "Please-" and quickly, a large hand wraps around his cock and it took only two strokes before he's coming in thick spurts onto his lower tummy. 

"Shh-" he soothes while kissing the teens cheek to help calm him relax because he looked pretty pissed off about coming so quick. _A_ _gain._ "It's okay, this happens-" 

Dean shoves him off and stuffs himself into his boxers before pulling up his jeans, the mess on his skin is forgotten about instantly when it's covered up by his shirt. "I gotta go-" his words are rushed and he wants the hell out of here because it was now the second time he comes prematurely and like everything else, it feels like the end of the world.

Castiel catches up to him right before he can open the front door. "It's _okay-"_ and pulls the teen close to his bare chest. "It happens to all of us-"

Dean's body is stiff like it's his way of rejecting the embrace. "Is somethin' wrong with me-" the question sounds rigid, almost angry.

Their eyes meet and Castiel has to reassure him, "No baby, of course not-" and kisses his soft lips once. "You're just more excited when we get together-" the teen isn't believing him so he gives him yet another kiss as if to convince him that it really was okay. "I get excited too baby, you have no idea-"

"I guess-" he tries to hide the blush on his cheeks by looking away and casually says "I better go before Bobby loses his shit-" and gets on his tip toes to kiss the older man goodnight before letting himself out. 

The next few days Dean and Castiel don't speak much, aside from a text here and there. Dean goes to school the whole week without missing any days because his instructor warned him not to or else he'd be withdrawn from the program. That scared him but it's not like he was missing days because he wanted to- his stomach was giving him problems, it's not something he could really control.

After class on Thursday, the students are let out early so Dean and Ash find themselves carpooling in Ash's beat up car to the diner for something to eat. Dean ordered a ham and cheese sandwich with a large soda. It was Ash's first time at this particular diner, so he ordered the same thing as the younger teen. They chat about school, among other topics while waiting for their food.

After their meals arrive, they dig in and eat in comfortable silence. Everything is going well until the bell on the door jingles to reveal a very messy haired Castiel Novak in scrubs, most likely coming in to grab a bite after work. Dean doesn't call out to him or anything, not yet, and just observes the man approach the front counter to order. Guess he would be sitting up front, rather than taking a booth. 

While Ash talks about his neighbor, some hot single lady whose kinda hot for a milf, he just watches the man take a seat on one of the stools up front. All he can really see is his backside which wasn't bad to look at by any means and that hair, almost looked brown in the sunlight coming in through the diners windows. Dean's got the straw of his soda between his teeth and chews on it mindlessly in arousal. 

Ash asks, "Well?" the younger teen looks at him finally. "Should I try to get with her or not? She's got kids so she won't want nothin' serious from me-"

Dean smiles at his friend carelessly, almost boyishly. "Yea, man-" and his eyes look behind the older teen, to his stepfather. 

The man was completely unaware of his presence there, but it was nice to just _look._ Dean occasionally looks at his friend and chimes in on the conversation every minute or so, so he doesn't feel bad but his main focus is _Cas._ He was completely alone, aside from chatting with Robin for a minute or two in passing when he asked for the salt or a refill on his soda.

Dean sighs longingly, stabbing the ice in his now empty glass of soda with the straw. "Yea-" his voice is distracted. 

Eventually another man comes close enough to chat with his stepfather, the man is leaning against the counter a little too closely with a smile on his face. _The fuck.._ A loud laugh erupts from Castiel and the strangers hand lands on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze before finally getting his order to go.

He pays close attention to their goodbye, lots of nodding and laughter was involved but it's not like he could really hear their conversation from this far away. Now Castiel was alone again and he wondered who the hell that guy was.

Was he _Cheating?_ Of course not, he would be dumb to try that again. Castiel learned his lesson, _right?_

Eventually Castiel stands up and is putting on his jacket when his eyes finally land on the green eyes teenager who was sat at a booth near the back of the diner. A quick smile forms on his face and he walks over to them both, "Dean-" eyes quickly move on to the older boy before refocusing on him. "How was class today?"

Dean goes pink instantly, "Fine-" and his gaze is cast downwards because he's suddenly so nervous.

Castiel nods mindlessly and looks out the window to see only Ash's car. "Dean, why won't you ride home with me? I'm leaving now-" 

Ash is quickly slipping into his denim jacket, "Fine by me, you mind? I gotta get goin'-" and wiggles his eyebrows because according to what he said earlier- tonight was the night he was going to try to get it on with that milf lady next door. 

Dean smiles, "Good luck man, let me know how it goes-" 

Castiel quickly sits down across from him when the older teen leaves and smiles, arms crossed on the table. "I love seeing you happy-" they're the only ones at the diner currently, aside from an elderly man up front enjoying a single cup of black coffee. "It looks good on you."

Dean nibbles on his bottom lip anxiously and ignores the flattering comments, solely focusing on who the hell that man was. "Anything you wanna say?" and the tone of his statement sounds way harsher than he'd meant for it to come out. "I mean-" he leans over the table a little, "I saw you talking to some guy-"

Castiel tilts his head and squints before it comes to him, "Oh-" a smile forms on his lips. "He's a new doctor at the hospital-" leans over the table as if to whisper a big secret, "I would love to tell you what happened at work today, but there's this law, _HIPPA-"_ and tries not to laugh, "I can't talk about my patients but, oh my God-" the man actually starts giggling, his hand comes up to hide the goofy grin on his face.

"What's so funny-" he feels so left out and he's not liking it one bit.

Castiel clears his throat, "All I can really say is-" tries not to start laughing again. "Some guy came into the ER with a certain _object_ that had somehow gotten stuck in his ass-" 

Dean doesn't think it's funny, but perhaps he just had to be _there_ in order to find it so. "Your life is so exciting, Cas-" the words are dry. "Can we go now?" and he's already standing up and slipping into his jacket. 

The drive home is silent so Castiel lets his hand rest on the teens thigh, stroking up and down in a non sexual manner. "I miss you-" his words are so soft the teen almost didn't hear him.

Dean's hand lands on top of his and they lock fingers, holding hands the rest of the way home. It was nice, _really_ nice. Castiel parks in front of his house and looks over to Bobby's to check if he was outside, he wasn't. It's the reason why he's leaning over towards the passenger side and kissing the teen softly on the lips, his tongue peeking out just a little.

After pulling away, Dean lets his head rest back and doesn't break eye contact. "Cas-" the word lingers on his tongue a little longer than normal, as if savoring the name in his mouth. "I'm so gay for you-" 

Castiel smiles, trying not to laugh. "I certainly know that you love me-" his words are warm. "I love you so much-" now his tone is breathy, before kissing him yet again. This time the kiss a little more heated and with purpose, even though it won't go further than what they're allowing themselves to have at this very moment. "I've always loved you-"

Dean looks up at him innocently, searching the mans blue eyes and they're telling the complete truth. "Yea, I know-" his hands are on broad shoulders before sliding down to his strong chest, groping with curiosity.

"I remember you-" the teen says suddenly, briefly confusing the man. "I remember how good you were to me-" he exhales shakily. "In the beginning. Think I was ten or maybe eleven dad first brought you to the house-" breathy laugh. "You kinda scared me at first, I was like- who the hell is this guy-"

Castiel looks away uncomfortably, because he doesn't know just how much or how little the teen actually remembers about how their relationship began. From his end, it could look completely wrong and perverse.

Dean holds the mans face in his hands. "It's okay, Cas- their noses are touching, rubbing against each other slightly in their close proximity. "I remember you loved me more than he did-" and they both swallow over the tightness that is in no doubt both of their throats at this moment. "You cared about me when you didn't even know me-" they share one soft kiss. "I always felt how much you loved me, it made me want you-"

Castiel sniffles and lets his forehead rest on the teens shoulder. "Please stop, I don't know what you remember-"

Dean's hand clutches at the back of the mans jacket, "You were my friend-" and the man looks up at him, warily. "You were the only thing keeping me going while dad-" he swallows painfully. "It was happening before you came to live with us-" the words are spoken quietly, like some terrible secret.

"Why didn't you ever tell me-" his thumb brushes the stray tear from the teens face. "You could've told me, I would've listened-" he swallows. "I would've believed you-"

Dean shivers, more out of anxiety than from the cold. "What could you have done anyway, Cas-" he looks away briefly, at the house in front of them before refocusing on the mans blue eyes. 

Castiel takes a moment to think about it, "I would have told on him-" the words are sure. "Then I would have adopted you, taken you far away from the situation-" if needed, there's no doubt that he would have adopted Dean Winchester, be his father and love him just like father should. Nothing else mattered but making sure he was safe.

"You say that like it would have been easy to do-" he doesn't believe him for a second.

Castiel smiles warmly, regretfully. "Dean, you have no idea what I would have done just to keep you safe. You have no idea what I _did_ do just to stay, I did all of it to protect you-" his words choke up, but manages to regain his composure. "You really don't understand how much I love you-" they share a soft kiss. "I would have been your father if I needed to be, if that's what you needed from me-"

Dean nods slightly, his eyes expressing all the emotion he feels because he can't exactly smile right then. "I-" his voice cracks.

Their foreheads come to rest against each other and quickly notices that the teen felt a little warm. "I quickly learned that your father was abusive, but I thought it was only towards me-" he shivers too, because of the cold. "I tried to ask you if something was going on, but you were too young to understand what exactly I was asking you-"

Dean nods again, sniffling. "I didn't know what he was doing was wrong-" and it sounds like he's justifying why he let it go on so long, why he never said anything. Like he's defending why he never _told_ on his dad. "I didn't know how to say it-"

"Shh, baby I know-" he hushes the teen and pulls away to examine his face. "Are you feeling alright? You feel warm-" the back of his hand goes up to feel his forehead for signs of a fever.

Dean blinks a few times, "Honestly, I don't even know what I feel-" a look of sadness washes over him. "I-I don't wanna be alone tonight, Cas-" their eyes meet. "Can you talk to Bobby, maybe he'll let us be together-" the man sighs, knowing it's a no go. "Please?" he begs with his eyes, "Just for one night-"

Castiel pulls away completely, looking at the house next door before saying. "I'll talk to him, but no promises-" he looks over at the teen now, "Come in with me, I want to take your temperature before you go-" 

Dean follows his step father inside the house and opens his mouth so the man can stick the thermometer under his tongue. While they wait for the thing to beep, they maintain eye contact. It beeps after what feels like minutes, no fever. 

"Hmm-" he feels his forehead again, normal. "I'm sorry, I guess I just worry too much about you-" 

Dean smiles because he feels loved, "You do, yea-" and his eyes water out of affection for this man. He takes the thermometer playfully from the mans grasp and puts it under his tongue, surprisingly without much of a fight. When it beeps, he looks down at the numbers. "Think you were feeling your own fever on me-" and shows him the small device with the numbers reading _99.8_

Castiel sighs, "I don't have one-" and puts the device away in the kitchen drawer where it was. "But it's cutting it close. I need to rest-" the teen is about to protest, "Don't worry. I'll call Bobby right now, just go home-"

Dean buries his face into the mans chest and wraps his arms around him in a tight hug because he felt so close to him emotionally after their talk. "Call him-" their eyes meet before he lets himself out of the home in a hurry.

After a much deserved shower and an outfit change, he calls Bobby and gets the green light on coming over to spend the night with Dean. Since he promised, he fudged a little bit of the details on why he wanted to spend the night by saying that the teen was having a lot of anxiety tonight. It wasn't completely the truth, but it was in the ballpark. The bedroom door was to remained open all night, which he thought was fair.

Before leaving to Bobby's on foot, he brushes his teeth and grabs his phone. After letting himself in through the unlocked door, he chats with the bearded man for a few quick minutes. It's not long at all before he's saying goodnight and excuses himself to the teens bedroom, remembering to leave the door wide open.

Dean instantly sits up on his bed like an eager puppy whose owner just got home. "Cas-" and sneakily tries to shove a playboy under his pillow like he wasn't just staring at a pair of large breasts. He loves this man like crazy but he's still a teenage boy who loves looking at women deep down.

Castiel sighs loudly in pleasure because finally getting to lay down in a bed after a long day felt so damn good. "Come here-" he whispers, wrapping his arms around the teen and brings him close to his body. "This is nice-" he comments after a few minutes in bed together, doing absolutely nothing at all.

Dean looks up at him to see that his eyes were closed, "Are you okay?"

Castiel nods, "Yes baby, checked my temperature again and it's normal-" and his eyes remain closed, no doubt exhausted.

The teen isn't at all surprised when the man falls asleep and eventually his arms fall slack at his sides, so he just admires him sleep. His step father was a beautiful man but he would never want to admit it, certainly not by calling him _beautiful_ to his face. _How humiliating._

After a while Bobby walks by and leans against the open doorway, Dean looks over at him and smiles softly, a little awkwardly.

"The things I let ya get away with-" his words are spoken quietly as to not awaken the sleeping man.

"Sorry Bobby-" he looks down in embarrassment. 

Bobby shrugs, hands stuffed into his dirty old jeans. "I'm goin' to bed, make sure this door stays open all night-" after his nephew gives him an overly exaggerated thumbs up, he turns around and crosses the hall to his bedroom, with the door staying wide open on his end too. _Great_ , looks like they're having a slumber party of three.

Dean goes to the kitchen to grab a large glass of iced water which he places on his nightstand in case Castiel happens to get thirsty in the middle of the night. The teen climbs under the covers on his side of the bed after placing a throw blanket on top of the older man instead of waking him up and just admires him a while longer. He's never really done this before, taken the time to just _look_ at the man he loves but it was really nice.

Take sex out of it, what else is there to do? So looks.

Somehow in the middle of the night he stirs to find Castiel under the covers with him now, with one arm behind his head and the other at his side. He must have woken at some point to get more comfortable. Dean sighs and snuggles in close, loving how the mans arm wraps around him as if on instinct. This whole night just has him feeling so _soft_ and gooey on the inside. 

"Love you, Cas-" he whispers quietly before yawning.

Castiel replies in a raspy voice, "Me too baby-" it's like he can never leave Dean hanging, even when he's supposedly in deep slumber.

By the time morning comes, the bedroom door had been closed and Dean didn't know who was responsible for that. It turned out to be Bobby when walking by on his way to make breakfast, saw them snuggled innocently together and decided to trust them just a little bit. Besides, what could they really get away with at the ass crack of dawn with him cooking in the kitchen and a safe full of guns in the basement.

Dean goes to the kitchen for some food when the aroma of fresh coffee and bacon wafts into his bedroom, leaving his stepfather to enjoy his rest a little longer. Surely the guy had to go to work, but he couldn't bare the thought of waking him. Especially not after almost running a fever the night before, poor guy running himself down with work every single day.

Dean and Bobby are halfway through breakfast when Castiel pads into the kitchen looking completely confused. Dean smiles at the picture before him and loved how the guy looked with messy hair. "Mornin' sunshine-" he drawls a little more southern than he meant to. That accent seems to show it's pretty little head every now and then, more so now after moving here.

Castiel raises his hand as if to say _Don't start_ and mumbles, "Coffee-" 

The duo point to the half full coffee pot on the counter and watch him stumble to prepare himself a cup, surprisingly not spilling any considering that his eyes were somehow still closed. 

"I think I'm dead-" he blows on the liquid, "I'm so exhausted-"

Dean reaches over to feel his forehead, it felt normal. "You're not sick, what's wrong?" there's obvious concern in his voice and he's talking to him like his uncle wasn't there and Bobby only observes their interaction as a by stander. 

Castiel takes a few sips of his coffee before his eyes finally open enough to show off those blue oceans that he'd been hiding. "Shit, I have to go-" but the teen holds onto his wrist like a child. "I need to go to work-"

Dean stares, "Why?" his question is firm. "You work too much, call in sick-" 

Castiel chuckles weakly, running a hand down his face. "Alright-" and pulls out his phone to oblige. 

Bobby shakes his head, "Yer spoilin' the boy-"

Dean actually sticks out his tongue at the man, then throws him both middle fingers when he gets up to refill his coffee mug.

Castiel rolls his eyes as he's dialing the number to the hospital and luckily got the day off without having to give too much of an explanation. He was actually given a few days off because he'd been looking so awful at work the past week. Castiel wasn't ill, it was only exhaustion but it's not like he was going to turn down the chance to relax for a few days.

Bobby quickly excuses himself to go finish up an old truck he was working on out back and Dean instantly holds onto Castiel's hand on top of the kitchen table. Castiel sets down his coffee mug, eyes focused on their joint hands. "Dean-" he retracts his hand away.

The teen leans over, kissing him on the cheek sweetly and then wraps his arms around the mans neck. There's hearts in his eyes and a sweet smile on his lips.

"Dean-" he inhales the teens scent. "What are you doing-"

"Nothin'-" he sighs dreamily. "Feel so close to you, since last night-"

Castiel pulls away enough so their eyes can meet, "Because of our talk?" and tries not to count the freckles on the teens face because it was impossible. He's tried many times, eventually all his freckles just blend together or he finds new ones that didn't seem to be there before. 

Dean smiles boyishly, nodding as if they were flirting or something. "Mhm-" he kisses the mans top lip before licking it playfully.

Castiel gets why and peels away from him, "Okay Dean, that's enough-" he stands up and carries their dirty dishes to the sink to place them inside for later. "So, now that I'm free today. What should we do?"

The man is now casually leaning against the kitchen counter because he does not want to get too close to him right now, for fear that he might just fuck the teen over the kitchen table. It might sound terrible, but he's actually considering it because Dean looks so sweet and cute right now with his messy hair and wrinkled clothes.

Dean appears to be thinking about it before getting an idea. "Kinda wanna feel the sand in my toes again-" and if Castiel didn't know any better, he'd assume he was high or drunk off his ass. But no, his pupils were completely normal, showing more green than black. "Please?" 

There's no way those green eyes can be resisted, "Guess we're going to the beach-" 

After Dean convinced Bobby to let this trip happen, he promised to check in via video calls and even showed the man how to answer such a call. It was foreign to him, almost alien and he didn't like it. If he could have his way he would still have a flip phone, but he had to grow with the times just like everybody else in this world. The only order his uncle gave him was to keep his jacket on because the day was cold.

After getting the all clear, they pack a bag with a few things and completely forget to bring a blanket. It's not like they needed much of anything, this was only a one day trip- no more, no less. 

The drive doesn't take long, maybe three hours and yet much fun was had in that three hour long car ride with Dean singing at the top of his lungs and Castiel just being happy to be spending the day with him. Nothing but the sand in their toes- Bobby didn't say anything about his nephew keeping his boots on the whole time, just his jacket. They park by the nice hotel that was within walking distance from the beach, even if they weren't exactly checking in but no one needed to know that.

The day was chilly and the breeze was ice cold when it hit their faces so they held hands as they walked side by side. "This is nice too-" Castiel sighs, bumping shoulders with the teen playfully. The look he's given in return is absolutely priceless, the pure adoration and trust emitting from those eyes is intoxicating. "You're beautiful, you know that. Don't you?"

Dean shivers and huddles in closer to the man who quickly takes the hint that he's cold, wrapping an arm around him. "So gay-" he peeks up through his eyelashes. "Feel like I need to shoot a bear right now-"

Castiel shakes his head, "You never could take a compliment-" 

The teen snorts, "Shut your fucking face-" and they both chuckle. "Think we can get somethin' to eat at the hotel?" he looks over his shoulder at the lovely resort in the distance, it's the one they stayed at the last time they came here.

"Sure baby-" his lips press a quick kiss his loves rosy cheek while they walk in the sand.

They weren't the only crazy people on the beach on a such a cold day, much to their surprise. A group of teens were goofing off in the distance, an elderly couple were embracing not too far from them on a blanket that they had lain out on the sand. Castiel regrets not thinking of that very same thing, but he'll make due with what he has in his trunk. 

"Wait here, I'll be right back-" 

Dean looks back with his hands in the air in confusion. But when Castiel comes back, where he ran off to makes sense. The man sprints up to him with their beach towels clutched to his chest from the last time they'd came to the beach.

"You never took those outta the car huh-" 

"Never did-" he lays them out on the sand for them to relax on. "Sit with me baby-" he holds out his hand for the teen to take.

Dean takes the mans hand and sits down, practically on his lap and Castiel wraps his arms around him to keep him safe and warm. "Fuck-" he curses softly, eyes closing. "I love this-" and looks over his shoulder at the man he loves who is snuggling him from behind. "I love _you-"_

Castiel blushes, "Alright, alright-" and buries his face into the back of the teens warm neck. "I love you too-" there was no mistake, they definitely felt closer after their talk and it was obvious.

It was late in the afternoon and despite the cold day, the sun still managed to peek out once again, bathing them both in a soft yellow glow. The couple close their eyes, heads tilted upwards to drink up the beautiful warmth on their faces. 

"Mmm-" the teen hums, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks and mumbles "Cas?" eventually and the man _hmm's_ against his ear in response. "You love me, right?" 

Castiel scoffs at the question because of course he does. "It's obvious that I do-" his voice is gentle, very fitting for the intimate moment. 

"Bet I love you more, Castiel Novak-" and the man peels his face away in wonder because the teen rarely ever uses his full name like this. Dean stands up abruptly and cups his hands over his mouth to shout, "I love Castiel No-"

Castiel quickly pulls the teen down onto their beach towels and cups a hand over his mouth, both of them laughing like teenagers. "Dean, shut up-" he sounds breathless, their chests heaving against each other. "I'm so crazy about you-" he admits but it was no secret.

Dean swallows dryly, still panting. "Crazy about you too, Cas-" the worlds feel foreign coming out of his mouth. It isn't often he expresses his feelings towards this man verbally, with actual words. "I think I'm drunk-" his brows knit together innocently. "I feel all funny inside-"

"You didn't drink anything-" the man smiles before leaning down to press his lips against the teens softly and admits, "But I feel drunk too-" when he pulls away. 

"I uh-" the teen struggles to say what's on his mind, "I wanna talk more about-"

Castiel kisses him briefly to shut him up, "We will, I promise. Just not today-" and the teen nods, agreeing because today was just about them. "Come on-" he suddenly sits up and starts unlacing his boots, "Sand in our toes, remember?"

Dean props himself up on his elbows, "Are you fucking crazy?-" 

The man smiles, "Your Idea-" and he's now barefoot and digging his feet underneath the sand. "It's actually warm, come on. Feel-" his hands are working through the sand, simply exploring his surroundings like a child would do.

The teen hesitates before unlacing his boots as well and digging his toes into the surprisingly warm sand. His eyes close and a sigh leaves his body, "This is so awesome-" and what comes next takes them both by surprise. "I'm having fun, thanks dad-"

Castiel's eyes well up with tears instantly, "You're welcome, Dean-" his arm wraps around the blushing teen and kisses the top of his head. 

Dean wipes under one eye with the sleeve of his jacket and sniffles. They stay silent for a while longer, just enjoying the warm sand between their toes until the sun completely sets. The only thing that brought them to reality was the Metallica blaring in his pocket.

"Shit, Bobby-" he quickly digs it out from his jeans and answers the call _._ "Hey-" his voice sounds squeaky. "Surprised you figured it out how to start a damn video call-"

"Where's Cas at?" the bearded was on the screen was holding the phone way too close, clearly not knowing what the hell he was doing despite the ten minute tutorial.

Dean turns the phone to show his stepfather who waves stupidly at the bearded man on the screen. "Bobby, we're hungry. Is it cool if we stay longer and eat first?" 

Bobby sighs, "Hurry up will ya, it's gettin' late-" and hangs up, either by accident or because he meant to.

Dean shoves his phone into his pocket and says, "Did I ruin everything?" there's an awkwardness that lingers in the air.

Castiel pulls him close, "Why would you think that?" his tone is soft, comforting.

"I called you dad-" his voice is tight, uncomfortable. 

Castiel pulls on his boots and simply instructs the teen to do the same so they can grab a quick bite to eat before heading home. Castiel takes the lead, ordering for them both once their seated at the hotels cafe in the lobby. It was nice, but not so nice to where they might feel out of place for being dressed in winter casual. A quick glance around at everyone else wearing jackets made them both feel better than when they first walked in.

The waiter brings them both a tray of sweets and two large glasses of hot chocolate, saying "Enjoy-" before leaving them be.

Dean picks up a muffin and bites into it eagerly, "Mm-" then washes it down with what's in his mug. "So good-" his mouth is disgustingly full but it still manages to make Castiel's heart swell with love. "Quit starin' at me, friggin' perv-" his tone is a little harsh, no doubt trying to make up for how sentimental he was all day. "Order me a sandwich, will ya-"

Castiel nods, waving a different waiter over. The rest of their meal is eaten in comfortable silence with the teen pigging out in front of him, which was actually quite shocking to witness. Bobby had informed him that he'd been eating more, but he wasn't exactly expecting this. Dean ate everything in front of him and two sandwiches before finally leaning back, and sighing.

"Dean-" he says carefully, "Why are you eating like this?"

Dean's hand is on his stomach, "I ate, what's the problem?" there's attitude in his response. 

Castiel sighs, chugging down the last of his chocolate. "We really can't just have a nice day, can we-" he pulls out his wallet to fish out some money. "Come on, we have to get back-" and he stands, but the teen is just looking up at him like he doesn't intend on going anywhere. "Dean-" his voice is a warning.

Dean gets up because he feels like he might get his ass whooped in front of everybody in the cafe if he doesn't obey. But of course, that's what John Winchester would have done to him in this situation, not _Cas._

The teen drags his feet all the way to the car because he didn't want to go home yet and wanted to stay here longer so they can keep being a couple. The passenger side door opens for him, which he looks at hatefully.

"Get in-" his tone is still one of warning, so he gets into the car and knows this will be a not so fun drive back to the house.

Castiel looks over at the teen every few miles to see the all too familiar bitch face on him. "Are you mad because I-"

Dean stops biting his nails to look over at him, bitch face disappearing instantly to be replaced with a softer look. "I didn't wanna leave, alright-" his words sound tight and squeaky, like he might cry at any point. "Why can't we just be ourselves and stop friggin' hiding-" his boot kicks the dashboard in front of him gently but it was still enough to get a hard glare from his stepfather. "Sorry-"

Castiel reaches over to place his hand on the back of the teens neck and rubs lovingly. "This isn't easy for me either, Dean-" a moment of silence. "But one of us has to be strong-" the teen's head is lolling forward, clearly enjoying the neck massage a little too much so he retracts his hand, placing it on his knee innocently instead. 

Dean sighs, "Fuck-" 

He pries again, "You didn't answer my question back there-" and the teen looks over. "Why were you like that?" 

Dean makes an annoyed face, "Like what-" clearly not understanding what he's asking or was just avoiding the topic. Knowing him, likely the latter. 

Castiel grips the wheel tightly now, because it was starting to rain a little. "Why do you stuff your face like that, I've never seen you eat like that-"

"Uh, cause I'm hungry?" he answers with a snark to his tone.

"You don't-" there's no easy way to ask this. "You don't get rid of it do you-" and he's only asking this because he's seen plenty of teenagers come into the hospital with this exact problem in the past.

Dean hesitates before answering, "No-" and it was the truth. "But I take Bobby's laxatives-" the admission felt a little too _wrong_ to admit- especially after a beautiful day like the one they just shared. 

Castiel's jaw twitches and Dean saw it, like he's angry with him for doing this but not saying anything about it. The rest of the drive is done in silence until they get home, the keys turn in the ignition and the car goes silent. It's almost like the world had ended all around them, everything is dark and quiet. Dean tries to speak but the man just shakes his head.

"I'm not gonna put you through it again-" the promise sounds untrue, but hopeful. "It's not the same as before, don't freak-"

Now he lets loose, "Don't freak out? How the hell am I suppose to not do that!" the teen's back is pressed against the passenger side door because that's how loud he was yelling right now. "You go from starving yourself to binge eating and taxing laxatives-" no response. "What am I going to do with you now?"

The look of pure hurt on Dean's face has his little rant looking like the biggest mistake ever and he leans over to him. "Baby-" and he's slapped on the cheek for all that he's just said, more to make a point rather than to hurt him. "Dean, please-"

Dean stutters a little as he says, "Y-you're a friggin' jerk, Cas-" and exits the vehicle, slamming the door behind him. 

Castiel feels like shit for losing his temper like this, but the bomb that was just thrown on top of him feels too heavy to bare. His anger feels wrong because Dean needs him, but all he can think of is how worried and how scared he was earlier this year. Dean was so ill and his worst fear is having him in that condition again, It's something he would never want the love of his life to go through again. 

After having sat in the car for a long while, he goes inside the home to see Bobby consoling a very upset Dean Winchester at the kitchen table who quickly runs off to his room the second he notices his presence.

Bobby sighs, "Ya wanna tell me what's got my boy so upset?"

Castiel looks down the hall before sitting down where Dean had just been. "It's private-" he has to respect the secret he was just told. "It has nothing to do with our relationship-" and that seems to be enough to get him off his back. "I didn't hurt him either, it's not like that-"

The man nods, relieved somewhat because honestly, he was thinking Castiel had hurt his boy somehow. It's always the first place his mind goes to lately whenever his nephew is in tears or in a bad mood.

"Can I talk to him?"

The nod from Bobby gives him the green light to go down the hall to the teens bedroom. He pushes the door open to find him on the bed, laying on his stomach with his head hidden in the pillow. 

"Dean-"

"Go away-" his voice comes out sounding stuffy, from crying. "You're so friggin' mean-" the bed dips at his side so he looks over his shoulder in a glare that conveys _how dare you sit next to me right now_. 

A warm hand is rubbing the back of his neck, like it might be an apology of sorts. Dean's breath stutters before making himself clear, "I take Bobby's laxatives because I have a hard time _going_ -" then there's a moment of silence. "Since I started eating more, I get-" the conversation is hard for him to continue but does so anyway. "I get backed up, alright?"

Castiel's hand runs down to rest on his lower back, "Of course-" the teen rolls over now and he's all teary eyes and puffy lips. "I should have known that was the reason. My head goes to dark places-" his hand is how resting on his stomach since he rolled over. "It would kill me if something happened to you, again-"

Dean wipes under his eyes quickly with his fingers.

"I'm not strong enough-" their eyes meet and lock intensely. "I would die if you- if something-" and it took only a few seconds before he's breaking down in tears.

Castiel is the adult here and he's supposed to keep himself together, but no one really knows how hard it was on him when his love was at his worst a few months ago. Raising an extremely moody teenager by himself and holding down a very stressful job, it's everything but easy.

When Dean started getting sick because he starved himself, all the anxiety that finally got to him and the self harm- it was too much to fathom. Regardless of his own feelings, he had to hold it together because he was required to do so and the thought of going through all of it again, it's more than he can handle.

Dean almost looks frightened by the sudden change in his demeanor before pulling him down for a shy hug. "I'm fine-" and tries to lighten the mood with, "I just cant shit-" then laughs awkwardly.

"Why wouldn't you come to me with this?"

"You told me to let Bobby take over, so I went to him instead-" he looks away briefly. "He gives me one of those uh, stool softener pills every other day-" and his arm is smacked gently, "The fuck you do that for-" he curses because the smack comes out of nowhere.

Castiel deadpans, "You said laxatives-"

Dean shrugs again, playing with the bottom of his shirt. "Aren't they the same?"

"I heard laxatives and I thought you went from starving yourself to- you know what, It's not important." he sighs, "I'm sorry I yelled at you-"

Dean's looking up at him like he just doesn't get it at all and why would he. It's not like he ever planned or thought out his eating problems and made any real conscious decisions to either starve himself or binge eat. It just happened and he's trying to move forward so he can heal, put this whole thing behind him.

Castiel takes the teens hand in his own, "You need to talk to me about everything-" and kisses it in apology. "Don't keep anything from me, especially when it comes to your health." His voice wavers slightly. "Damn it, Dean. How many times do I need to tell you to be honest with me-"

Dean nods quickly, "Okay-" a moment goes by. "Uh, still love me? 

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be risking everything for you-" 

Dean smiles strangely because he's filled with an odd sense of guilt. "I'll try not to make your life hell again-" the words are spoken awkwardly but he means it.

Castiel shakes his head, "I'd walk through hell and risk getting burned for you-" and leans down to kiss his temple. "Because even hell is heaven with you-" 

Dean's eyes well up with tears, "Cas-"

"Hmm?"

"You're so gay for me, dude-"

Castiel stands up abruptly, "Goodnight,Dean-" and leaves the giggling teenager to himself in his room to laugh at his _gayness._ While making his way down the hallway, the sound of the teens faint laughter is still audible but it's a nice sound, even if was at his expense. 

Bobby looks up at him from where he's now sitting in the living room, "What's goin' on? That damn boy got some mood swings on em'-" he huffs. "First he's cryin' like a lil girl, then he's in hysterics-"

Castiel smiles, "That he does-" and sits down next to the older man. "So, you take stool softeners?" 

Bobby looks over at him in terror that his secret was out, "What's he tellin' ya that for?" the younger man glares. "Wait, he not allowed to take those?" 

Castiel thinks about it, "You know his history-" there's a pause. "He told me he was taxing your laxatives and I thought he was taking them behind your back so he could lose weight again-" they share an awkward glance between the two of them. "I sort of lost it when he told me about it, I really yelled at him for it-" his hand goes to rub at the back of his neck briefly, out of shame for his actions.

Bobby laughs, "The boy ain't doin' that-" and sips the soda in his hand because beer wasn't on the daily menu anymore. "He gets constipated, hogs the bathroom for an hour at a time-"

Castiel smiles softly, "Guess it beats the alternative-"

"You worry about em' too much, give my boy some credit-" he pats the younger man on the shoulder. "He's been doin' good these days-"

"I better get going. It's been a long day-" he stands suddenly because he needs some space, "I'll call tomorrow to check in-"

Bobby is a bit taken aback by his quick departure but nods, telling him to have a goodnight and to stay warm.

Castiel crawls into his bed after making it home and sighs at the warmth that embraces him instantly once he's underneath the covers. It was cold nights like these where he wishes that Dean was in bed with him so that they could keep each other safe and warm. The idea hits him that he really doesn't deserve the teens love, because sometimes he really is just mean to him.

A deep longing for the teen overwhelms him and it wasn't for sex, it was just to have him close, just to be able to hold him and protect him. It's the main thing he's always wanted, to make him feel safe after so much suffering. It has him thinking about their conversation, the one had in the car about what he remembers. It has him feeling uneasy, because what does Dean really remember?

The boy was only Eleven years old when he came into the picture, he himself has very little recollection of his childhood but them again he's almost pushing forty. Does Dean remember all those cheek kisses he tried to play off as something innocent, just because that's what his mother would do to make him feel better?

Castiel regrets those the most even if he did beg for those kisses and maybe he really did take advantage of the boys innocence. His stomach almost hurts with a twinge of guilt because he really just thought it was all so innocent back then, but was it _really?_


	70. Pink & Blue

Bobby has been working his nephew all day today so that he could get thanksgiving dinner all set up and ready to go. The guest list was short this year, shorter than usual because they just wanted a quiet night in with just _family._

Bobby did invite his lady friend over though and she had arrived early to help with the cooking and Dean was glad, much rather be outside chopping firewood and feeding the chickens.

Dean takes the bucket of feed into the house once it's nearly empty and sets it down it gently by the door. "Why do you even have chickens?" and he's actually curious about it because his uncle hasn't killed one yet to eat it, or not that he knows of anyway.

"Eggs, ya idiot-"

"You mean I been eatin' their eggs this whole damn time!?" his eyes are wide in horror and his uncle only laughs at him, telling him that these eggs were perfectly fine- just like the ones at the store. "Bobby, I hate you-" 

It's not long before they move on from the whole egg fiasco and Dean is setting the table after getting washed up. Castiel's loud greeting comes in through the screen door before the man himself walks through it.

Dean's interest is peeked at the cardboard box that he's got in his hand, just the right size for a pie maybe which his stepfather quickly confirms that it was indeed a pie. _Cherry,_ his favorite. 

Dean and Castiel keep it platonic for Bobby's sake because his lady friend was there so of course he didn't want to embarrass his dear uncle. Her name was Marcy and she was pretty damn nice, even brought over peach cobbler and a homemade apple pie. Dean liked her instantly, finding her just right for his uncle and kept smiling at how sweet they looked together.

Who would have thought that Bobby fucking Singer was a teddy bear, a total softy on the inside. He sure as hell didn't, neither did Castiel but it was really nice to see the old guy be happy for once since Karen passed. 

Dean was sitting next to his stepfather at the table while they all ate dinner in good spirits, but he was playing a little game of footsies under the table that his uncle didn't know about. It was innocent enough and whenever their knees bumped the table they smiles, doing their best not to laugh. 

As soon as their second helpings of the meal are polished off, that's when the teen takes it upon himself to bring out the pies and cobbler so they could polish those off too. Dean's all goofy smiles and giggles while cutting into the pies and serving everyone first, then lastly himself.

"Anyone want icecream?" he says, already fishing out the brand new tub of the vanilla treat.

Everyone agrees to adding icecream to their already too sweet desert but who the hell cares, it's thanksgiving and it's meant to be celebrated. Go big or go home, as Dean would say at such a time as this. 

It only takes a few minutes before the final and the sweetest course of their dinner is devoured and they remain seated at the kitchen table, laughing and talking about anything and everything. The four of them must have talked about every single topic under the sun tonight, but they all had fun and they secretly think to themselves that this was probably the best thanksgiving in a long while. 

Both Dean and Castiel finally felt like they had a family, even if it was just a little family of three with a very welcomed guest who Dean really likes. Castiel liked her too and Bobby was looking very smitten with Marcy.

When Marcy eventually leaves at the end of the night, Dean watches from the kitchen table as they say their goodnight and even caught a few smooches. "Holy shit-" he says softly, mouth open in shock because his uncle is actually kissing a woman which is something he's never seen before. 

Castiel's leaning back against this chair at the table too, watching the exchange. "They look nice together, don't they?" 

Dean sighs longingly with a nod before their eyes meet, "Yea-" he swallows nervously because the man hands him a gift. Where it came from, who knows. "Christmas is next month?" his eyes look up in confusion.

Bobby comes back and glares at them both to not talk shit about him being all romantic and sweet to his _friend._ "Not a word-" he points at the teen specifically in a threat to keep his mouth shut.

They chat longer at the table, while Bobby and Castiel drink a glass of whiskey while Dean has some coffee and a second slice of the cherry pie. It doesn't take long, maybe another half hour before Bobby is excusing himself to bed because the second glass of whiskey just hit. They weren't given any instruction to not do _anything_ but they weren't going violate the mans rules anyways.

Castiel peeks down the hallway to make sure that they are alone and again, gives the teen his gift to open now. "Saw this online, made me think of you-"

Dean opens the box to humor the man and his eyes widen instantly because there was a brand new pink _toy_ inside. It was almost as big as his stepfather and pink, it was fucking _pink._ There's a blush on his face now and he can feel it because _why_ the hell is he being gifted a pink toy and for _what?_

"Aren't these for girls?" he says finally, a little tightly. "Don't tell me you want me to use-"

Castiel places a heavy hand on his shoulder and massages suggestively, "I do and you will-" his tone is overly confident. "When I leave I want you to video call me, on your laptop and I'll walk you through on how to use it-"

Dean begins laughing, covering his mouth with his hand until he realizes that his stepfather totally meant what he said. "You serious?" his eyes wander to the toy again and his fingers trace the rather large thing in intimidation. "It's kinda big for me, don't you think-"

Now it was his time to laugh a little, "I'm bigger than that and you're able to handle me just fine-"

The teen blushes, biting his bottom lip nervously. "I guess-" his gaze follows the man as he stands up. 

Castiel kisses the teens flushed cheek, "See you soon-" before making his way to the front door to leave.

Dean quickly takes the gift with him to his room and places it on the bed like it might come to life and bite him. After a getting himself _ready_ mentally, he rolls up a towel and places it at the bottom of the door to hopefully muffle any noise that may or may not come out of him. Luckily his uncle seemed pretty drunk and probably won't hear anything coming from his room. _Probably._

The teen lays down naked in bed before starting a video call with his stepfather on his laptop. The first call goes unanswered, so he tried again and this time the mans beautiful damp face appears on the screen.

"I see that you're still able to obey-" the tone is playful but cocky and It looks like he'd just gotten out of the shower which always looks amazing on him. 

Dean sighs nervously, "Yea-" and doesn't know what else to do but the box containing his toy is right at his side.

Castiel encourages him sweetly, just how he likes it. "Be a good boy and lay back for me-" his voice is raspy and deep, "Open your legs and let me see-" the teen obeys yet again and lays back, spreading his thighs apart and his hands are unconsciously stroking the back of his thighs. "Good boy-"

A soft whimper escapes the teen as he waits for further instructions. "Cas-" he sounds shy. 

"Relax baby, you're okay-" the words seem to sooth him because he whimpers again, submissively. "I want you to use the lube that's in the box, pour a little on your fingers and rub yourself for me-"

Dean reaches inside the box to find a small bottle of lube he hadn't noticed before and pours some on his fingertips. "Like this?" his hand reaches between his legs, and rubs near his hole, not really hitting the mark at first and then finds his target. "Agh-" a soft moan is exhaled from his parted lips, "S'cold-"

Castiel closes his eyes momentarily in arousal, "I know baby, it's okay-" now he watches the teens fingers rub circles around his hole, like how a girl might pleasure herself. "You're hard-" the comment is made casually. "Good boy-" he swallows, "Stroke that pretty cock for me-"

 _"Cas-"_ the name is moaned innocently but he obeys once again, his wet fingers wrap around himself and begins to stroke slowly. His head falls back against the pillow, his lip catches between his teeth. " _Ugh-"_ his lip is now freed by the moan.

The man on the other end of the screen groans, no doubt touching himself as well. "Keep going baby, doing so good-" and he pans his webcam down south for a moment to give the teen a glimpse at what he's doing. "You like that baby?"

"Mhmhmmm-" the teen whimpers eagerly, "Want you to fuck me so bad-"

Castiel stifles a groan, "Believe me, I want to-" his tone is dark. "Grab the toy-" and he does, quickly. "Pour some lube on it, rub it against your little hole baby-" the teen does exactly as he's told, now rubbing and pressing the pink toy against his entrance. "Good fucking boy, so fucking good-"

Dean whimpers in frustration because he's trying to be brave and shove it inside, but it's not looking like it's going to happen or maybe he's to scared to really put some effort into it. "It's too big-" his words are spoken softly. 

Castiel swallows, "You can do it baby. Close your eyes and pretend it's me-" a few seconds go by. "Don't be scared sweetheart-"

Dean presses the toy against his hole, wincing at the strange breech because it feels weird when it's not an actual dick trying to make it's way inside. This feels worse almost, it feels so hard and _fake._ The tip manages to pop in suddenly, causing his eyebrows to knit together at the sensation. He pushes it in just a bit more and moans, his hips rocking forward a little. 

The man hisses, "Dean-" like he may be holding himself back from orgasm. "What are you waiting for, fuck yourself with it-"

The teen nibbles on his bottom lip mindlessly while pushing the toy a mere two and a half inches in and out of his tight hole. "It burnsss-" the word is prolonged by his discomfort. 

"Do you want to stop baby-" 

The teen shakes his head because he's so eager to please, "No-" and his knees go up to his chest now, which completely changes the game. " _Ugh-"_ his eyes close and begins to pump his ass with the toy a bit faster. _"Ugh-"_ a string of soft moans start coming from his mouth repeatedly. "Ugh _, shit-"_

"Dean-" he comes closer to the webcam as if it would allow him to see the teen better. "You okay?" and of course he's fucking okay, there's a look of pleasure on his face but he's got to make sure.

" _Ugh,_ mhmm-" his lip is all puffy and almost red from biting it so much. "I like it-" and he keeps going, pumping the toy in and out of himself without shame.

Castiel hisses again, "I can see that-" and watches, while stroking himself slowly because he wants to come at the same time at his love. "You look so pretty right now-"

Dean doesn't hear him, his focus is just on how deliciously full he feels. There's a tsunami inside of him that just wants to hit shore and it's almost there. " _Cas-"_ his voice sounds a little desperate. "Hmm, hmm, fuck-" and bends himself a little more, completely in half now which gives the man on the screen a way better view.

"Holy shit-"

The toy starts going a bit deeper into his ass, maybe another half an inch and the burn is so good that it has him coming. It's what he thinks a female orgasm would feel like on the inside, but also getting to come out of his dick too. _"Ughhhh-"_

The two for one orgasm takes him by surprise and it has him moaning a little too loudly and he's left panting, eyes focused on his locked door and hoping there won't be a knock on it.

Castiel comes silently on the other end, patiently waiting for him to calm down and give him some attention. After watching the teen lay back, chest heaving up and down in exhaustion he decides to ask, "Baby, you alright over there?-"

Dean looks at the laptop at the foot of the bed, "Yea-" his voice sounds faded, broken. "Fuck-" he finally sits up, giving the man a new view of all the mess on his stomach. "You made me all dirty, Cas-" the words have some humor in them, but it's meant to be flirty.

Castiel smiles, "You did so good baby-" and from Dean's view, it looked like he was pulling up his boxers or something. "You're always a good boy for me. Aren't you baby?"

The teen looks down at his bare lap because he knows there's a blush on his face now, "Yea-" 

"I can't wait to make love to you-" he looks up again to meet his blue eyes. "Give it to you slow and sweet, just the way I know you like it-" the teen nods shyly, not saying anything. "Get some rest, okay? I love you."

Dean nods, "Me too-" and waves goodbye with a shaky hand before ending the video call.

The teen lays on his back to relax for a while and before he knows it, there's a loud banging on his bedroom door which startles him awake. His eyes peek open to see the room illuminated with the usual early morning glow, " _huh-"_ he drawls right before a loud yawn, still so unaware of how he'd fallen asleep and it hits that he's still completely nude.

"Be right out-" his voice is shaky while trying to pull on the same pair of boxers from yesterday. The toy is left where it was on the bed, same for the bottle of lube and his laptop. The covers are simply thrown onto his mess as if the bed was made and rushes to open the door for his uncle, "Yea-" his tone is cool.

Bobby peeks inside the bedroom, fully expecting to see a certain someone that should not be there. "What were ya doin' in there-"

Dean swallows thickly, suddenly remembering he's not had anything to drink since yesterday. "Jacking off, what'ya think Bobby?" and it wasn't exactly a lie. His uncle believes him, simply making a face before leaving him alone. 

"Take a shower and come in for breakfast, ya hear me-" 

"Yes!"

After a much needed warm shower, the teen dresses in his room and pulls on some comfortable clothes. He takes a seat at the table by himself because Bobby had already eaten and left his plate at his usual spot.

The foil is peeled away from his plate to reveal some waffles and bacon, "Mm-" he takes a big bite of a waffle. The way he eats them hasn't changed at all since he was a child- eaten by hand, no syrup. 

This mornings coffee was nursed longer than he meant to, just felt so damn good to hold a warm mug on yet another cold day.

Dean takes his cup with him to go see what his uncle is getting up to today for work and makes a _hmm_ sound to casually announce his presence in the back yard. "Cas finally let you touch-" and the man appears from nowhere with a rag in his hands. "Cas-" he hides his smile by taking a long sip of coffee.

Castiel smiles brightly and damn him, because he gets these little wrinkles at his eyes that make him look so good. "Morning, Dean." the teen smiles dumbly, looking towards his uncle and his step father awkwardly. "You sleep okay?" and then he bends over the car, to help his uncle finish the job.

Dean checks out the curve of his ass in the profile view he's got of him. "Uh, well I slept-"

Both men laugh, only Castiel responds. "Good for you-"

"I got homework-" the teen suddenly turns around and shuffles indoors, not caring that his slippers were getting dirty in the mud. 

By the time Bobby and Castiel walk inside, they find the teen siting on the couch in the living room with a blanket wrapped around himself and an open textbook on his lap. Castiel smiles, because he really looked so pretty wearing his new glasses. They make eye contact briefly, with Dean quickly looking down at his book to resume reading. He sits down next to the teen and would help him, if he understood anything about automotive mechanics.

Castiel leans forward to grab a folder that was on the coffee table and begins to look through it, one eyebrow raises. "I'm impressed-" because most of the work inside was graded with very high marks. "But then again, cars are your thing-"

Dean tries not to smile at the compliment but his cheeks are telling a different story. "Yea-" after a moment of silence. "Are we going to move again someday?" and the question is asked without him looking up at his stepfather.

"I don't think so, we have our family here-" his tone is distracted, still looking through the teens paperwork like a proud father might do.

The teen shuts his textbook, now looking up at the older man besides him. "Can you fix the heat before I move in-" the question is asked like what he's asking for might rejected but at least his heart is warmed that the man thinks of Bobby as his family now too. 

Castiel smiles and kisses the top of his head quickly, "Of course-" then pulls away suddenly because Bobby was stomping around the kitchen to get lunch ready. "Anything else you want done to the house?-"

Dean nods, "Bobby-" his eyes fixate on his uncle moving in the kitchen for a moment. "He's gettin' older and I don't want him to have to suffer through the winter anymore-" thoughtful pause. "He could fall asleep and a fire could start, it's not safe-"

Castiel thinks for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Anything for you-" there's a smile on his lips. "Bobby too-" and that makes the teen smile beautifully at him, which makes it all worth it.

"You really love the both of us?"

"Unfortunately, I do and very much."

Dean smiles sweetly and then covers his face with the blanket to signal that their moment is over and that's when Bobby calls them into the kitchen for something to eat. The teen finishes his food first, then goes outside to kill the day but not before slipping into his jacket and boots. Bobby and Castiel remain at the table a while longer, simply chatting like old friends.

"How is he?" he asks finally once he's sure the teen won't be walking back in suddenly.

Bobby says, "Doin' better-" then his face falls. "Still yells about his father in the middle of the night though-"

Castiel nods somberly, "I'm guessing it's a new thing? He never did that before-" 

The bearded mans voice sounds almost spooked, "It's new alright-" they make eye contact casually before looking away. "Says John visits him at night, crawls into the bed with em'-"

He inhales sharply because there was no doubt in his mind that it must be a terrifying thing to go through, given what John's done to him. What Bobby says next, makes him feel absolutely terrible.

"I go into his room, but all he wants is you-" he says softly. "I'm just a damn decoy for ya-"

Castiel is looking out the window that leads to the large back yard at Dean who was walking around in the distance and doing nothing, "I'm sorry-"

Bobby stands and pats him heavily on the shoulder, "He loves ya, that's for sure-" then leaves to go find his nephew outside.

It turns out that Dean wasn't outside working, but simply wandering around the large property as if contemplating his life or something. Bobby whistles for him and the teen only waves dumbly, making no effort to come join him for work. He looks up once in a while to make sure the boy is still around, of course he was but now noticed that his lips were moving. Was he _praying?_

Dean was pacing back and forth, lips moving like he was talking to someone but no one was around. Surely wasn't on the phone because both of his hands were stuffed into his jackets pockets. 

"Dean!" he calls out to him, purely out of concern.

The teen waves him off almost aggressively, still pacing back and forth. Eventually he looks up for a moment and walks back to the house. "Yea?" his voice is slightly annoyed.

"You prayin' boy?" pause. "Or were ya just talkin' to yerself?"

Dean shrugs, "So what if I was?" then looks away to where he just was. His uncle shrugs back at him and resumes his task, hunched over the popped hood of a car. "I was talkin' to mom-" the man looks up at him instantly, wiping his hand on a rag because fixing the car can fucking wait.

Dean sniffles, because it was cold outside. "She hasn't looked for me in years, that would only make sense if she was _dead-"_ his uncle sighs. "If shes alive, then it means she just doesn't love me-" he looks confused. "Why doesn't she love _me?"_

Bobby pulls his nephew in for a hug, hand patting his upper back in comfort. "She's alive, don't worry-" 

Dean pulls away, "How can you know that-"

"Cause' I talk to her, that's why-" and was hesitant to even bring it up because it's somewhat of a betrayal, to talk to the boys mother without letting him know.

"Bobby!" he whines loudly in disbelief, "How could you keep somethin' like that from me!?"

"She ain't doin' too good, thought it might hurt ya more to know-" the teen is about to ask what he means by that but instead rushes inside.

"Cas!" he shouts a little too loudly before finding the man getting ready to leave. "I'm goin' home with you, wait for me-" and before he can protest or ask why, the teen is off to his room to most likely pack a bag.

Sure enough Dean comes out of his room with an old duffel stuffed with the basics and it's thrown over his shoulder. "Let's get the fuck outta here-" his demeanor is cold and his gaze is laser focused on the front door. Castiel has no other option but to follow him through it and they take the short walk back to his house. Surprisingly Bobby didn't follow them or try to keep his nephew from leaving.

Surely Bobby feels guilty for keeping his mothers whereabouts from him, but he knows his nephew and he'd come back when he's had the chance to cool off. _Right?_ Less than two months before he's a man and the boy can't keep himself under his uncles roof for the life of him.

Castiel catches the teens wrist in his hand to keep him still once they reach the front porch, "You okay?" their eyes meet.

Dean readjusts the duffel on his shoulder, looking down now. "Yea, m'fine-" and uses his own key to get inside. Castiel looks over at Bobby's place before following him inside. "Bobby and I just had a fight. I'll go home in a few days-" then he makes his way to the mans bedroom and tosses his bag onto the bed to unpack.

Castiel follows him to his bedroom, "Looks like you're staying longer than a few days-" that much was obvious by what he's pulling out from his bag. "You know I love having you here, but Bobby can still legally take you away from me if we mess things up right now-" there's a moment of silence. "Or worse, he can call the cops on me-" another pause. "Dean, he can tell them that I rape you or that I molest you-" 

Dean turns around and looks pissed, "If you really wanted to, you would've married me already-" 

"You're still a minor-" that's his defense and he's sticking to it because it was true.

"I'd need parental consent, but guess what asshole-" his brows are knitted together in anger. "I don't have any, so who the hell is gonna stop me from doing whatever the hell I want-"

Castiel grabs him by the shoulders, "Hey-" and tries to calm him down. "There's no need to get this upset, relax-" but the teen is shaking his head and huffing and puffing in that cute way right before the punches start coming. "Shh, calm down-"

Dean nods before being squished against the older mans firm chest, his eyes close and clutches at the back of his jacket for dear life. "I love you-" the words sound forced, like he shouldn't be saying them but is, only because it's the truth. _His_ truth.

"I love you too baby, shh-" they sway slightly on their feet, before pulling away from each other. "Tell me what happened-"

Dean sits down on the edge of the bed, hands clasped together between his spread open thighs. "I don't wanna talk about it-" he feels lost, confused even, because he really believed his mother had passed.

Maybe he told himself that to make himself feel better over the fact that she never tried to look for him or visit after leaving. The teen hunches over and the water works come, his shoulders shaking with emotion.

Castiel crouches down, hands on the teens knees for support because he's getting older too and squatting sort of hurts now. "Talk to me-" their foreheads press together. "What's going on in here baby-" his hand reaches behind to hold the back of the teens head lovingly, fingers rubbing his scalp as if trying to coax more information out of him.

"Bobby talks to my mom-" his words are pained. "Fucking talks to her-" and begins to huff and puff again, which prompts the older man to haul him up off the bed by the collar of his jacket and drag him outside for some fresh air.

"Calm down-" his voice orders sternly, hands now cupping the teens face who simply nods with a shaky sigh. "Bobby and I are trying to protect you, if he didn't tell you about your mom there must be a reason for it. We _both_ love you-"

Dean looks up to meet his eyes, willing himself to calm down. "Yea, I know-" but a tear manages to still roll down his cheek. "Why doesn't she want me-" the older man shrugs somberly because he's got no answer for him this time.

"I want you, Dean-" the teen is pulled into his warm loving embrace once again. "I'm never leaving your side, I promise-" then pulls away with a smile. "Would some pie make you feel better?"

Dean smiles, nodding. "Yea-" and they go inside the house together. 

The homemade pie is baking in the oven and Castiel is making dinner while the teen is taking a hot shower. As if on cue, as soon as the pie is taken out of the oven, the teen pads into the kitchen with freshly dried fluffy hair and pajamas. They smile warmly at each other before working together to set the table for just the two of them. Castiel's got it in the back of his mind to take some left overs to Bobby later that evening if he can and maybe apologize. 

Dean cuts the pie himself and places two slices of the desert onto his plate before even digging into dinner first. "Sorry, I like pie-" and his apology doesn't sound apologetic in the least.

The man leans over to plant a kiss on his forehead before they begin eating. They both eat like animals, like they hadn't eaten in days when in reality it had only been a few short hours since their last meal. Dean was trying to scarf down enough carbs and protein because he thinks that he'll need it, assuming they will be having tons of sex tonight as if somehow his uncles rules suddenly don't exist.

Castiel's eyes are on the teen, "Slow down-" he orders softly. "We have plenty of time together-"

Dean nods, clearly slowing down on his chewing.

As they eat desert now, their eyes meet occasionally and they smile with shyness. Like both of them are expecting to immediately get to fucking as soon as their plates are empty. But that's not going to happen, Castiel only hopes that Dean knows that as well. So to deter his attention elsewhere, he gets up from the kitchen table to go to the living room. The teen hears some rustling back there a minute or two later and goes to investigate.

Dean snorts, "You got a tree?"

Castiel is trying to open the box the Christmas tree came in with his keys, until the teen hands him his pocket knife and it was much easier to open then. "Help me decorate, please?" his smile is almost contagious and they end up assembling the obviously fake tree in the corner of the living room. "This is fun-" he comments eventually once the tree is starting to look a little more festive.

Dean shrugs, "I guess-" but forces a overly cheery smile then their eyes meet.

Castiel being the cheese ball he is, goes to get some very plastic looking mistletoe and taps the teens shoulder to get his attention. Dean turns around, eyes quickly looking up between their faces and blushes. He accepts the kiss without making a fuss about it, which quickly heats up. Deans tongue forces it's way into his mouth, trying to control the kiss and clearly gunning for something more to happen.

The man pulls away and sucks on the teens bottom lip, "That's enough-" and it was no surprise when he's given a serious bitch face in return. "Just because you hate Bobby right now doesn't mean I want to go against his wishes-"

"Mhm-" he hums with plenty of attitude before turning around and getting back to decorating the tree. After a while, when the only thing left is to place the angel at the top of the tree, Dean turns to him. "Take care of the angel, angel-" and heads outside.

Castiel quickly does as told, fixing the angel ornament on top of the tree before going out to the porch to find the teen sitting down with a lit cigarette between his lips. "Smoking again, I see-" and takes a seat next to him, regardless of how he feels about him smoking. 

Dean takes a long, deep drag and his eyes never leave the man. The look he's giving his stepfather is almost sexual and the way he blows the smoke past his lips, definitely is. "S'my last one-" he admits before taking another drag. "Guess it'll be a while longer before I can legally by them myself-"

Castiel hopes he's kidding because he doesn't want his _boyfriend_ smoking regularly. "I won't allow it-" he takes the cigarette and uses his boot to stomp it. "I'm still going to tell you what to do, and when-" he winks, to show that he means it playfully.

Dean scoots closer and leans in to kiss him softly, then licks his lips before diving in again. "Cas-" he breathes when they part, but only for a moment. They kiss sweetly until the man pushes him away, "We don't gotta do nothin'-" his voice is a raspy whisper, "Just feel like kissin' is all-" of course the man obliges to his request.

The kiss deepens and saliva is exchanged with every swirl of their tongues in each others mouths. Dean begins to whimper every now and then, it's barely audible but Castiel can hear it and he would be lying it didn't make him hard.

No doubt the teen is hard too when moans start coming out of him just by getting kissed so again, he pushes the teen away and holds him at bay by his shoulders. "We're not having sex, not yet-" 

Dean leans in to kiss him once more, or tries to at least and he's held back. "Please?" he begs softly, "Wanna feel you-" and then he's shrugging off his jacket.

Castiel moves to pull the jacket back on him, "It's freezing, Dean-" his voice is loving. "Let's go inside, we can talk-" and the teen follows him indoors, into the home like a love sick puppy. When he turns around, he's almost startled by how close he was to him. "Dean, no sex. I mean it-"

The teen goes down to his knees, his eyes pleading for it. "But I _want_ you-" his hands are running up and down the mans sides. "Just kiss me, that's all I want-" but his hands are threateningly running up and down the inseam of his jeans.

Castiel hauls him up to his feet and shoves him against the wall, making the teen moan. "Why do you like it when I'm rough with you?" it's a genuine question.

Dean swallows, "Why do you like it when I slap and choke you-"

"Fair enough-" is all that's said before carrying the teen to his bedroom, dropping him onto the bed. 

They must have kissed like horny teenagers for almost two hours before Castiel taps out. Literally tapping the teens bottom to get his attention, "I can't-" he sighs tiredly before gently shoving him off his lap. "I'm kissed out-"

Dean moves in for more but he's quickly rejected, and takes it a little too seriously because his eyes tear up. "Yea, okay-" and rolls over to his side, reaching for the remote on the nightstand to turn on the television. 

"Dean-" his voice breaks the ice, "I'm tired, okay? It doesn't mean I love you any less-" silence, so he leans in close to spoon the teen from behind. "Don't be dramatic baby, what's got you so needy tonight?" he whispers into the teens ear, "You're just going to pout and ignore me until you get your way?" no response. 

Castiel's hand starts kneading at Dean's plush bottom, until eventually his hand sneaks into the front of his pajamas to wrap around his already hardening dick. "This what you want?" he whispers roughly against the back of his neck. "You want me touching you like this?"

Dean moans, then looks over his shoulder and again reaches for a kiss. This time Castiel doesn't reject him, and they start up again. The teen tries to roll over but he's kept in place, so that he can give him a simple hand job. No more, no less- happy _boyfriend,_ happy life. "You can be so annoying-" his voice is hard, but aroused.

Dean's basically hugging the pillow and biting into it to keep from being too loud, not that anyone was around to hear what his stepfather was doing to him but more so because the home felt extremely silent. Any sound would feel out of place and quite strange. He eventually comes with a strangled whimper that catches in his throat and rolls onto his stomach in relief, not caring about the mess on him or the hand that just made him _very_ happy.

"I love you-" the deep voice cuts the silence after a few minutes, after he's returned from washing his hands in the bathroom. 

Dean rolls over to lay his head on the mans chest the moment he crawls back into bed, they stare into each others eyes. "Sorry m'such a pain-" 

Castiel kisses the top of his head, "I can be pretty hard to deal with too. Guess we're even-" the teen nods knowingly with a tiny smile on his face. "Get to sleep-" he kisses his forehead quickly, hooking an arm over his middle to spoon him. "I have to work tomorrow-" he yawns before fading away to dreamland.

When the digital alarm on the nightstand goes off at six in the morning, Castiel slaps down on the buttons to make it shut up and is completely oblivious to the empty space next to him. He swings the bathroom door open to find the teenager sitting on the toilet and looking pained and doesn't seem to notice him at all until he speaks up.

"You okay?" there's humor in his question. "How long have you been in here?"

Dean looks up at him sleepily, elbows on his thighs as he's hunched over. "A while-" he yawns, "I can't go-"

Castiel tries not to laugh at the teens pain, "Maybe I can help with that-" and pulls down his pajama bottoms low enough to show him his hard cock playfully. "Just the tip-"

Dean tries not to smile and waves him off casually. "Sick fuck-" 

The older man pulls his pajamas up and turns the sink on in order to splash some water on his face, then brushes his teeth. His eyes occasionally glance into the mirror, meeting Dean's tired gaze. Castiel spits into the sink and wipes his mouth with a dry towel before turning around and leaning against counter. "Well?" there's a pause. "If you're not going to do anything, I need the bathroom-"

Dean whimpers and stands up, pulling his boxers up to his waist and then makes the humiliating duck walk back to the bedroom to hopefully catch another few hours of sleep.

"Don't you have class today?" the muffled question comes from down the hall. _Shit._ He was in no mood to sit in class for five hours, of course he would never admit it but even those five hours felt like an eternity in hell.

The program was great, but he never felt comfortable anywhere and it's part of the reason why he likes helping his uncle. It's like working from home because it's safe there and it's comfortable, most of all he's around _family._ The only thing that keeps him going back to school is the fact that his stepfather and uncle believe in him so damn much, otherwise he probably would have quit and ended up working at some shady shop eventually.

By the time Castiel comes into the bedroom he's dripping wet with a towel around his waist. After noticing the already dressed teens eyes on him, "What?" and looks down as if checking himself out. "Like what you see?"

Dean sighs longingly with a subtle nod, "I'll uh-" then swallows before quickly grabbing his school binder and a stray pen from the small desk in the bedroom. "I'll be in the car-" is all he says before stumbling his way out of the room and down the hall.

Castiel chuckles and pulls on his scrubs after drying himself off in a rush. His work bag is over his shoulder and his coffee to go cup is in his hand in no time at all. The man exits the house, locking the door behind him and Dean watches his every move in somewhat of a secret jealousy because the guy seemed to look forward to getting up and going to work every day. He just couldn't _relate._

The moment the drivers side door opens, he says- "How come you're such a friggin' morning person?" 

Castiel looks over at him while adjusting his seat belt, "I didn't think I was-" then fiddles with the buttons on the dashboard that control the heat. "I get up because I have to work, Dean. Why are you asking?" his tone is aloof, but somewhat aggravated. Definitely not a _morning_ person.

Dean leans back as if trying to relax, school binder on his lap. "Don't you ever like-" looks around briefly. "-all I'm saying is, I can barely handle five hours of class." they make eye contact. "Just wonderin' how you deal with working every damn day for like-" he's counting something on his fingers. 

"Ten to twelve hours a day?" he volunteers the information and the teen nods dumbly. "Because I love you and I need to make a living in order to take care of you-" the car starts moving, "I finally have a reason to get up in the morning. Believe me-" he looks over at him, "I wasn't always this motivated. There's days were I think that maybe today will the last day I let myself walk into the hospital-" a pause. "I get frustrated and I get tired of it, I see a lot of things I probably shouldn't-"

Dean blushes and says "You love me enough to work like a dog?" eventually.

Castiel laughs, "I'm indoors, Dean, In air conditioning. What more could I ask for?" that makes the teen laugh. "Honestly, I don't know how _you_ can spend all day long outside, in the heat, with your head under the hood of a car-"

The teen shrugs and softly says, "I'm Johns kid-" they make eye contact briefly. "Working like dogs is kinda our thing-"

"You're not your father, you know-" his voice is soft, "You didn't have to follow in his footsteps, or Bobby's-"

"Meh-" he smiles sadly. "What else am I gonna do, Cas? Cars is all I know-" there's a pause. "It's the only thing I'm good at-"

Castiel hums softly and eventually says, "What do you think you would have been if-"

Dean snorts, "If I was _your_ friggin kid, I probably would have wanted to be a physical therapist or some nerdy shit like that-" 

"You never told me this. I never thought-" 

"I'm smarter than everybody thinks, Cas-" his words sound almost saddened. "It's not like I could think about a future. You know? With dad bein' the way he was-"

Castiel nods, "I understand but-" there's a pause. "This changes things, I can help you pursue that-"

"But nothin'-" the teen cuts him abruptly. "I'm gonna be a mechanic, so drop it-" and he nods, because there's no point in fighting with him right before dropping him off at school. "Besides, I'm not smart enough for _that_ kinda college anyway-"

Castiel's heart feels like breaking while he drives, "I should've gotten you some tutoring-" he's shaking his head in regret, "If I just knew you wanted _more._ I saw you struggling with your schoolwork and I never did anything-"

Dean's hand rests on the mans thigh reassuringly, "You did the best you could, and you had your shit to deal with too-" 

That doesn't make things any easier and it doesn't wash away the rising guilt he's feeling. The rest of the drive to the teens school is done in silence, aside from the sound of the cars tires on the road.

Castiel eventually pulls up in front of the school building, kissing him quickly on the lips before his love hops out of the car and rushes inside. He watches him disappear between the two double doors.

His drive to the hospital is spent in deep thought, thinking of how he should have helped Dean more with school but it was too late now because he already chose the kind of future he wants to have.

The life of a mechanic, which isn't bad by any means but he can't help but wonder just how smart the teen really must be. Sure, he failed almost every class but that was only because he either didn't go to school every day or kept getting into fights.

As Castiel walks up to the hospitals double doors, the thought that today might be the last day he allows himself to be subjected to another gruesome day here but he knows it's just one more day of many that will be spent in this building. If Dean had chosen physical therapy as a career, they could have spend their days working side by side at this very hospital. 

Right then his pocket beeps, a text from Dean.

 _I'm fine being a mechanic like dad, you gotta be fine with it too._ A few seconds later, another text comes in. _Are you ok with it?_

Is he though? Castiel isn't sure, not in the least and his fingers type up a quick response that feels like a lie. _Of course, love u. See you soon._


	71. Whiskey Dreamin'

About a week later Bobby had come over with a poor attempt at a homemade apple pie which only served to make the teen chuckle. The darn thing was extremely runny and gross so it ended up in the trash can, unable to be salvaged. Unlike their relationship, that was now on the mend and it was happening quite fast because Dean did miss his deal old uncle Bobby.

It was the pure effort that had been made that had him forgiving the man for not telling him about his mother and that was the end of the very minor bad blood between them.

Dean packed up his bag that very same night and went back to staying under his uncles roof, leaving behind a teary eyed Castiel standing by the front door. He looked back and gave him the finger, then a flirty grin to let him know it was all okay. This boy was so up and down, you never really know what's going to happen but having it any other way would bore him to death.

The pair hadn't seen each other in days, not until Monday night when Dean knew that it was his stepfathers book club night. It was beyond lame but it's always fun to torture him, maybe embarrass him a little bit or a lot, he hadn't quite decided just yet. He walks up the porch steps and knocks, just to be polite.

Castiel blinks his eyes once the door is opened to reveal him standing on his front porch. "You came-" he swallows, "Again-" In reality, he really should just be glad to see the love of his life after a hard day at work.

Dean smiles flirtatiously and says "Glad to see you too, Cas. Where the milfs at?" then walks inside the warmth of the home. "You have the fireplace goin' for these chicks, but I gotta freeze my ass every time I come over?"

"What's a milf?" he questions suddenly, head tilted slightly to the side.

"Mother I'd like to fuck-" the response is cocky, like he was getting pleasure from explaining the term of _milfs_ to his sometimes very innocent stepfather.

Castiel makes a face of disappointment, "That's extremely disturbing-" right then one of the women from book club comes up to them from where she had been sitting in the living room with the other members. "Hannah, this is Dean-"

She smiles before shaking the teens hand, "Are we ready to start?"

Dean looks up at Castiel, a goofy grin on his face. "I'm ready to start-" then follows Hannah to the living room. 

It looks like tonight might be more eventful than Castiel thought, chaos seems to follow his love everywhere he goes. Sometimes it's the good chaos, other times it's not so good. 

They read a few chapters of their next book, which was something Dean had little to no interest in. His suggestion of reading _T_ _he Outsiders_ next month was quickly shot down by everyone but his stepfather who said the particular book was a classic. But still, not one single member of the club wanted to entertain his idea so he kept a lid on it the rest of the night.

Eventually Castiel brings snacks out for everyone, the classy kind that Dean won't touch for anything. It's when he goes into the kitchen for more wine that the women follow closely behind him, all but one and it wasn't Hannah. Which is too bad, because he thought she was really nice, not milf nice but just _nice._ Dean sits up straight against the couch where he'd been sitting alone for a while now.

The woman sits down a little too close too him, "I'm Mildred, who are you?" her voice sounds so sweet that the teen actually relaxes in her extremely close presence. 

"Dean-" he huffs nervously, a hand quickly lands on his thigh. "Uh-" his eyes are looking down at it sliding up his denim covered leg. "What are you-"

"Oops, sorry about that hun-" she chuckles, removing her hand. "Dean, how do you know Castiel?" 

Dean swallows, leaning away from the woman because she's just too damn fucking close. "He's my stepdad-" there she goes again, her land lands on his shoulder and begins to rub. Honestly, it didn't feel all that unpleasant but this woman is way beyond the age of being a cougar, much less a milf. "Y-your hand is on m-my-"

Castiel happens to walk in with the group of women behind him, clearing his throat to interrupt their moment. "Mildred, book club is over for tonight-" his tone is a bit rude. "You should go home-" then looks over his shoulder. "All of you, I'll see you next week-" 

They all nod and secretly cast hateful glances at Mildred for ruining their evening because they actually liked Castiel and were becoming his friends. It didn't start off that way at first though, they saw that he was a doctor and who wouldn't want to bag one of those but the more they talked to the man and spent time with him, they saw that he was a great person. 

Dean is sitting on the couch awkwardly while his stepfather escorts the herd of cackling hens outside to their cars and he's just about to stand up to go home before the man comes in, telling him _sit_ so he does.

Castiel goes to the kitchen and comes back with two glasses. "Here-" one is handed to the teen. "It's whiskey and yes, you have my permission to drink it-"

Dean pulls the glass up to his nose to sniff and pulls away with a furious blink to his eyes because the aroma was stronger than expected. "Shit-" he licks his lips before taking the tiniest sip, if it even counts as a sip. "Ugh-" he then groans, making a face while the man sits next to him on the couch. "Why the drink, Cas?"

Castiel downs his glass in one large gulp before slamming it gently on the coffee table, unaffected by the taste in the slightest. "You're almost a man, I should start treating you like one-" then they make eye contact. "That alright with you?"

Dean takes another micro sip of his horrible drink, "Mhm-" is mumbled shyly into the glass. The man watches him slowly drink, until his stomach feels warm and weird. "So-" he blinks when the glass is being led back up to his lips for him to finish it. "Okay-" the word comes out a bit labored before chugging it down, then coughing. _"Ugh,_ tastes like ass-"

Castiel takes the glass from the teens loose grasp and sets it on the table. "You're so cute-" his words are sultry. "So handsome-" then come the neck kisses. "You like when I do this, right baby?"

Dean leans back against the couch, "Yea-" his hands begins to run up and down his own thighs. "M'sleepy, Cas-" eyes are half closed. "Didn't drug me did you-" there's humor in his tone of voice.

"No Dean, I didn't-" his lips press onto the teens lips now, repeatedly. "That's just whiskey, makes you relax-" 

"Hmm-" he hums dreamily, not having the will power to kiss back at all. "Kinda like it-" his words a little slurred.

Castiel chuckles softly, his hands rubbing the teens fully erect cock that was hidden behind denim. "Does this feel good?" he asks in his ear.

Dean looks down, "I can't feel a damn thing-" his voice is a bit shocked, but then laughs. "No more drinks for me-"

"Okay baby, no more drinks-" his hands cup the teens face before shoving his tongue into his alcohol tasting mouth. "Mmm-"

Dean moans softly because their tongues are rubbing against each other and his cock was demanding to be set free from the confines of his jeans. " _Ugh,_ Cas-" he exhales harshly, "I wanna-" moans again, "I wanna-"

"What do you want baby-" the man murmurs before diving in again into that warm sweetness that was the teens wet mouth.

Dean pulls away, eyes wide open in fear. "Dunno if I like this-" a closed fist comes up to his mouth to hide a small burp. "I feel all _hot_ inside-" and right then his stepfather pulls off his shirt -exposing his muscular body- which works great to distract him from the odd sensations that are occurring. "You're so hot-" he says sleepily, his hand runs up and down the expanse of muscles. "Why are you so hot-"

Castiel smiles before standing, reaching his hand for the teen to take and does, then leads him down the hall to the bedroom where they lay on top of the neatly made bed. Dean looks up at him in wonder, clearly tipsy from the one drink. They share a few soft kisses before things get hotter and heavier, with Castiel holding him close against his half naked body. 

"I love you-"

Dean whimpers softly because there was a hand on his ass, kneading over his boxers. "Yea-" his voice is raspy, just above a whisper. "Me too-" he opens his eyes, looking into blue oceans with hope. "Can we?"

Castiel kisses his puffy bottom lip, "Soon-" their eyes gaze into each others. "We can still have fun, I just can't fuck you-"

Dean whines in his throat but nodding in agreement anyway because something was better than nothing. "What can we do-" their lips lightly brush against each other

Castiel rolls over and pins him to the bed, "How about a game?" there's a playful threat in his voice. He leans in to whisper, "You can even call me daddy all you want for this one-" Dean bites his lip, nodding. "Good boy-" they share one brief kiss. "I love you sweetheart-"

The teen blinks up at him, "I love you too daddy-" the words are spoken softly. "What're you gonna do-" he asks, because the man above him is just looking down at him like a snack. 

Castiel straightens up enough to get some room between them, enough to pull off the teens boxers. "Are you comfortable?" his hands hook behind his knees and push until he's bent in half, only then down he lean forward. "This okay?"

Dean swallows, "Yea-" the stretch of his limbs took a short moment to get used to. "I'm okay-" he's given a quick kiss before the mans lips are going lower and lower, until they reach right underneath his balls. "Uh-" he sounds like he wants to giggle. "That tickles-" and then there's a long wet tongue pressing, lapping at his skin and it's suddenly not that funny. " _Ugh-"_

"You taste so good sweetheart-" he looks up to see the teen enjoying himself on his tongue. "Let's see how flexible you are these days-" he comes up again, bending the teen in half once more until his ankles almost go over his head. "Fuck-" he breathes in arousal.

"Agh-" he whimpers in pain, before getting released completely. "Please, do somethin' with me-" his green eyes are pleading. "Fuck me or I'm gonna fuck me-"

Castiel almost growls, "You're gonna fuck yourself?" he nods. "Don't let me stop you then." the teen looks around like he doesn't know what to do. "Use your fingers-" he then leans forward to spit on the teens hole. "Go ahead-"

Dean watches the man lay back against the pillow as if he's going to be given a show of some sort. Guess he is. "Okay-" he leans back as well, eyes fixed on his stepfathers as his hand wanders down between his legs. He begins to feel around at his hole, shivering at the sensation. "Daddy-" his voice is a whisper and he bends himself in half, knees at his chest. 

Castiel's chest is rising and falling, Dean was clearly struggling to get the task done so he rolls onto his side and pulls him close. "Let me take care of you-" he whispers harshly, his hand trailing down the teens warm skin before one finger presses to that peachy pink hole. "It's okay-" forehead kiss, "You're safe with me-" 

Dean groans quietly at the breech of a thick long finger, "Agh-" 

"That's my good boy-" he says soothingly, "You're my good boy-"

The teen moans again, two fingers are fucking in and out of his ass slowly but deeply. His eyelashes flutter beautifully against his flushed cheeks and the sweetest sounds escape his parted lips. Castiel leans in to kiss them lovingly, taking his time unraveling him at the seams. By the time he's done, Dean is a whimpering and twitching mess at his side. He begs him for more but there's no more to give, not anything he can give right then anyway.

When it's over and he's come all over himself, his eyes are locked on blue. It almost feels like there's electricity between the two of them and they don't dare move just yet. Castiel is the first to break the spell between them and does it by telling him something silly and cute, even though he didn't really catch it. Dean was too zoned out in his post orgasmic haze.

"Uh, daddy?" he says eventually, propping himself up onto his elbows when the man stands up to go to the bathroom.

Castiel looks over his shoulder, "Dean, we're done with our game-" and winks before leaving the bedroom.

Dean lets himself fall back onto the bed with a sigh, staring at the ceiling now. "Right-" 

The teen doesn't want _their_ game to be over, not ever. Dean wants to be Castiel's good boy forever, wants his daddy always and maybe that's a problem. He wants desperately for those lines between real and fantasy to become a little more blurred so that things can stay like _this_ because the safest place he knows is being in that mans arms, calling him _daddy._

Castiel doesn't want _this_ all the time and that fucking stings too. Dean has got to grow out of this and he has no idea how in the hell he's going to do it. He's got to talk to somebody about it, but _who?_ Whose going to _understand?  
_

Dean and Castiel happened to fall asleep without realizing the teen had to fucking go home afterwards. Bobby was letting up a little but not by much and it was only because his nephew can be down right scary when angry. Sort of like his father used to get and there's no way he's going to poke the bear, especially with a little over a month left until his birthday.

It's how Castiel awakens in the middle of the night, having been nuzzled into the back of his freckled neck while spooning him from behind. "Dean-" he whispers softly. It appears that he was having some kind of nightmare, or something else. The teen was whimpering, sighing and groaning but it was hard to tell if it was from discomfort of pleasure. "Dean-" he repeats, still softly. 

The teen's plush ass grinds back against him, which makes the man suck in a breath. "Dean, wake up-" he shakes him gently. "You're dreaming-" but the teen simply grinds his ass against his front once again. His forehead rests on the back of his shoulder, enjoying the stimulation being granted to him in this moment. "Dean, baby-" 

Dean groans, "Agh-" and he's shoving the man away from him violently. "Stop-" his voice is pained but small, "I don't like it-" and his eyes are still shut. "Dad, I don't-"

Castiel starts whispering louder in his ear, "Dean-" to get him to wake up and see reason, that whatever he's dreaming is just that. Only a _dream._ "Baby, wake up-" the teen startles awake suddenly, then looks over his shoulder. "You okay?"

Dean swallows dryly, nodding and Castiel uses the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away the sweat on his forehead. "M-my-" he swallows again, trying to regain his composure. "My dad-"

"You were dreaming of him?" he snuggles the teen close to his body, disregarding how sweaty he was all over. "What was he doing-" he looks over his shoulder at him, eyes a little wide. "If you don't mind me asking that is-" a brief pause of silence. "We have to talk about it at some point-"

"Fucking me-" he says honestly. "He uh, he never really did it but damn if he didn't get close to it-" he looks over his shoulder once again, "But I like it, when it happens in my dream-" there's shame in his admission. 

Castiel looks away for a short moment, clearly uncomfortable. "Okay-"

"Am I crazy?" his voice keeps going softer with everything he says. "I'm sick, right? I gotta be sick-"

The man kisses the back of the teens damp neck, inhaling his scent. _Coconuts._ "No baby. You were abused, plain and simple-" his voice is soft, but tight in discomfort at learning this little fact. "I understand what you feel-" one of his hands runs down the teens body to rest on his hip. "I like the things that hurt me too-"

"That's why you like gettin' slapped and choked?" it's meant to be a joke but the man nods in his own shame. "Shit, who did that to you?" he figures it out when his stepfather avoids his gaze. "Dad did that to you, didn't he-"

Castiel buries his face into the teens back, "Unfortunately, yes-"

"God, Cas-" he huffs, holding onto the mans arm against his chest for comfort as if it were a stuffed animal. "You should've ran away from him, I probably would have when I got older-"

Dean looks over his shoulder to see that the man had fallen asleep, or was simply pretending to in order to escape the conversation. He lays in silence, unable to fall asleep when a distinct snore from behind let's him know that he really had fallen asleep. _Poor guy.._ working so damn hard.

The teen carefully gets out of bed for a shower since what else was there to do at this ungodly hour. The shower was nice, water felt warm hitting his skin which helped him relax a little. Maybe he'd be able to get some sleep now that he was _clean,_ if only his mind could get a good scrub down.

Dean pads into the bedroom dripping wet, toweling off his hair. Castiel grunts at the brightly lit room and props himself onto his elbows in confusion, no doubt thinking it's suddenly already morning.

"What are you doing-" his eyes focus on the teen going through his drawers, looking for something.

Dean looks over his shoulder, completely naked. "Lookin' for something to wear-" he ends up pulling out a large shirt and some boxers to sleep in which both were too big for him.

The man falls back onto the bed with a sleepy grunt, ordering him to shut off the light already. The teen obeys quickly before crawling back into bed, underneath the covers and snuggles into his stepfathers chest, smiling when a heavy arm wraps around him protectively.

Castiel can feel those green eyes on him, even in the dark. "Dean-"

"Hmm-"

"Close your eyes."

Dean sighs heavily before doing as told and the dream that overcomes him is a bit more pleasant and it involved Castiel.

The two fingers worth of whiskey must have sent his lightweight ass into the next decade because he's now twenty seven years old and very happily married to his stepfather. Bobby seems to have passed at some point in those years because he now owns the shop alongside Ash. 

They also somehow have a little boy by now too and he follows Dean everywhere which is just too adorable. His name was Jimmy because Dean had wanted to use Castiel's real name to carry on some sort of legacy or something. Besides, the name was pretty cute and Castiel promises to name their next after him. 

_Most_ days were happy and other days, not so much but even if they fought -which they did, and often- it was still the most fun either of them could've had with anyone else. Fridays were still movie nights and they had family dinners on Sundays with pillow fights almost every night.

When Castiel shakes him awake in the morning, Dean opens his eyes and opens them wide because he's unable to believe that his whole _life_ had been a dream. It's exactly what he would want for himself and _Cas._ Bobby wasn't there, unfortunately, but they had a fucking _kid_ together and they were married and had been for years.

Castiel frowns and reaches over to caress the teens confused face, "Are you feeling okay, you look-"

Dean's eyes close because the touch felt nice on his skin then swallows the dry lump of emotion in his throat. "Had the craziest dream-" then laughs softly, blinking away the remains of said dream where he had just about everything he could have asked for. 


	72. Think I'll Go For A Drive

It's early December and Dean is helping his stepfather hang up a few Christmas lights on the front porch. It's not like anyone will really see them since they live all the way out in the middle of nowhere but Castiel insisted on it because it was about time Dean and his uncle get a _real_ Christmas.

Castiel was determined to make the whole month of December as jolly and festive as humanly possible. It's going to be _cheesy_ he warned the teenager who seemed less than thrilled about this. It was no secret that he pretty much hated all holidays, especially _Christmas_ and it was no shocker as to why.

John Winchester never got him anything and never decorated the house while he was growing up so now Dean really came to despise all the twinkling lights and ornaments that seemed to be everywhere they went.

The worst of it was found in town and especially at the diner, the entire place was covered in sparkly everything. It made him roll his pretty green eyes every time he went in to help out for a few hours or to drive Robin home. The holiday music made him want to punch someone, it really fucking did and people were starting to suggest he go back to therapy.

It's not like he ever had his mind set on stopping his appointments but things were hectic with school so he didn't have much free time to kill an hour by talking about his emotional crap. Yes, it was all emotional _crap_ and that's what he's going to keep calling it because it's all bullshit. His moody ways are returning and everyone around him is noticing the minor change.

Castiel says while making his way down the ladder, "Hows it looking?" eyes squinting upwards to admire what he's done to the porch. The yellow lights were now hung up and twinkling prettily in the looming darkness of the night. 

Dean looks up as well with his hands on his hips as if inspecting the completed task, "You know I hate Christmas, right?" the man wraps an arm around him, ignoring his comment. "But yea, looks pretty-"

They watch their Christmas lights on the porch way into the night as they sit on their designated rocking chairs. The days were cold now and it hadn't snowed yet but it was supposed to be coming in around January or February which Bobby had been pleased about it because it meant he could keep working for another month or two. 

Bobby really needed the money so Castiel and Dean were secretly helping him out, either by referring someone who needed their car fixed or by paying off a bill without him knowing. The old guy was looking stressed, worrying the both of them before Castiel tried loaning him some money which of course had been declined because he's just too damn proud to accept the help.

To be exact, Bobby had called him an _I_ _djit_ for suggesting such a thing.

Dean suddenly says, "I worry about Bobby-" and it breaks the peaceful silence that surrounded them on the porch tonight. "Shouldn't he be retired by now?"

Castiel's got his head resting back on his chair and his eyes are closed but he agrees to the statement. "Should be, yes-" then his eyes open. "I'll talk to him soon, he's at the age where he's got options for retirement-"

The teen simply nods in relief because poor Bobby, working himself too damn hard when he could be retired. The guy just needs to take it easy, maybe take on one project at a time instead of the workload he's got now. He worries about something else happening to his uncle, that scare he had not too long ago was enough to permanently scar him for life.

Dean's just so used to his uncle being so strong and being the backbone of the whole family. Even if Bobby wasn't a _Winchester,_ he was family and Dean loved him like a father. A few minutes go by and he must have been lost in deep thought because he doesn't notice when his stepfather reaches over to hold onto his hand, interlocking their fingers

Castiel looks into his eyes lovingly, "You better get going-" 

Dean looks down at their joint hands and smiles because he loves holding hands with the man, though he'd never come out and just say it. "Yea-" he leans over to kiss him on the lips once before getting up to go home.

Tonight the teen sleeps nice and warm at his uncles house which now had heat thanks to his stepfather, the man was literally an angel who not only helped him but his family too. Dean actually believes Castiel was sent down from heaven some how just to rescue him and love him like no one else has but it's not like he'll ever tell him that because he's not a fucking girl.

These days Castiel tells him to study for his driving test because his eighteenth birthday is approaching and that it would do him good to have it. Hell, the gift he's planning on getting the teen depends on him having that damn license. This will be the best Christmas ever and he might just pat himself on the back this year for giving into Dean's wish of a new truck.

Castiel takes it upon himself to get the teen the drivers handbook so he could study and he does after he's given the death glare that gets him into gear. He skims through a few pages a day and tries to remember everything, eventually the handbook ends up under his bed somehow. Dean was just overly confident that he would pass his drivers test the first time, which he very well may but the written portion is in the wind. 

As expected, the teen failed his first attempt at taking his test and didn't even make it to the driving portion. Dean cried on the way home and his uncle had to comfort him for almost an hour until finally his tears dried. Later that night when Bobby mentions that he may have failed the driving test his first time around too, he's back to himself and no longer feels like it was the end of the world.

On his second try, Dean passed and they celebrated by taking him out to the diner for cheeseburgers but Robin giving him an entire pie to take home, that alone was the icing on his whole week.

The night before Christmas Dean ends up staying the night with Castiel and Bobby allowed it so that he could receive his _gift._ If only he had known he was getting a brand new truck for Christmas, he may have been in a better mood. The whole night he had been complaining about how cold the house was and how there was nothing remotely edible in the fridge.

There was tons of food in there but most of it had a quick expiration date and that's not the kind of food he likes to eat. His favorite would be stuff you can shove in the microwave and have it ready in a few minutes. Eventually they order pizza because Castiel really doesn't want to get pissed off and yell at the boy, possibly ruining the whole plan. 

Bobby had the truck in the back yard and Dean had seen it, simply thinking it belonged to a client of his. The truck was way too nice for Bobby, he could be a millionaire and still be fascinated by the oldies. The order he was given was to drive the truck over after midnight and park it right up front of the house so that it would be the first thing his nephew would see when heading out.

It still surprises Dean when he wakes up to gifts on December twenty fifth because after so many years of waking up to nothing, it's a strange feeling to have something to unwrap. Castiel never tires of seeing his reaction to what he's gotten for him and this year was going to take the cake in terms of gifts.

There weren't many under the tree this year, maybe one or two that were specifically for Dean. The rest were for Bobby and one was for Castiel that the teen had gotten for him and that's all he really needed because Dean was the best gift he could even dream because when he's got him, what else does he _need?_

Dean and Castiel sleep together on Christmas Eve, snuggling into each other underneath the covers for warmth. He had to tell him twice that soon he would have heat too and for him to shut up about it. Unable to contain his excitement any longer, he wakes Dean extra early and tells him that it's time to open his gifts. The teen follows him down the hallway with his eyes half open.

The arms on the vintage clock that hangs proudly on the wall reads eight in the morning. It was just too early to be awake and just too damn cold which is the only reason Dean is wearing his stepfathers nerdy cardigan. It was simply worn for _warmth,_ at least that's the story he's sticking to but Castiel has had this old thing for years and it smells so much like him, no matter how many times it's washed. 

Castiel sits on the floor next to the overly decorated tree and hands him his gifts, "Merry Christmas, baby-"

Dean sits down by the tree and unwraps his first gift to find a strange stuffed animal. "The fuck is this-" there's humor in his voice and a small smile on his lips.. Apparently it's called Grumpy Cat and his stepfather had gotten it at the Hot Topical for him. "It's Hot Topic, Cas-" he laughs, giving him a side hug as a thank you because it was pretty cute. 

The teen opens his second gift which turned out to be a couple of new flannels and some jeans among a few other clothing items. He was just happy that it was his style and that he could actually wear this stuff out. There was a small period of time where Castiel failed miserably at dressing him, they must have went through a few _looks_ in order to find him the style that fit him the most.

Eventually Dean found his own style which turned out to be a mixture of both John Winchester and Castiel Novak. Although it was a strange combination, it somehow went with him. 

"Merry Christmas, Cas-" the teen shyly hands him a messily wrapped present. "Don't make fun-"

Castiel smiles warmly, "I would never-" and he's peeling away the wrapping paper to reveal a picture frame that held one of their pictures inside. _"Dean-"_ his voice cracks, "Where'd you get this picture of us?" his teary eyes look up to meet pretty green.

Dean shrugs, looking away for a moment. "It was on one of those disposable cameras we had-" blinks away his own tears. "It's my favorite picture of us, Cas-" and they both know why that is, it's because the older he got- the more rare it became to find photos of them together.

Castiel sets the picture frame down on the floor and leans over to hug his love. "Thank you, Dean-" pulls away, "We should really take more photos together-" so right then, he takes out his phone and they snap a few photos to start the new tradition off.

They share a big breakfast together and the teen starts wondering where his uncle is, but says nothing about it until after they finish eating. He looks over his shoulder and stares at his presents still underneath the Christmas tree and does this a few times throughout their meal until Castiel finally gives into it. It's _time_ to give the love of his life the biggest present ever.

"Why don't we go take those to Bobby-" he gets up, clearing the table too.

"He's gonna really like what I got em'-" the teen scrambles to the living room to grab his uncles gifts in excitement. "Hurry, man-" he rushes his stepfather as they both struggle to put on their boots and jackets.

As soon as the front door opens, the teen is stunned but not happy. "Oh, new car?" he says without an ounce of suspicion, It's as if he'd forgotten that he had already seen it at Bobby's a few days ago.

They walk to the truck and Dean whistles at it's magnificent beauty. Castiel says, "It's new-" the keys are tossed into the teens hand. "But it's not mine-"

Dean's eyes widen and a beautiful smile forms on his face, "Are you fucking kiddin' me?" his green eyes almost seem to twinkle in happiness. "You got me a friggin' truck?" and begins pacing around the monster. The thing was big and so fucking shiny, not to mention that it was sleek and _black._ "I think I wanna hump the fuckin' thing-" he says honestly, simply amazed by it.

"You should probably suck my dick for this-" Castiel laughs. "Well, get in-"

They both climb into the truck and their first stop is Bobby's to drop off his gifts and of course- show off his brand new truck. Afterwards Dean really wanted to test drive his new baby by going to the diner to give Robin a gift he'd picked out a while back. Dean's just thoughtful that way, saw the small piece of jewelry that reminded him of his friend.

When they arrive at the diner, Castiel gives him a card to give to the waitress which no doubt contains some money inside. The man was less than thoughtful but it's not like he knew the girl as well as Dean did.

They head in together and the bell on the door jingles when it opens and closes behind them. Castiel goes off alone to find a table to sit at while Dean meets with his friend because It's kind of embarrassing and he was way too damn shy to give her this type of gift right in front of the man who fucks him, so privacy was begged for. It really was going to look like a boyfriend giving his little girlfriend a present but whatever.

Robin sees him at a booth by himself and skips over, ponytail bouncing in the air behind her in the prettiest way. "Deaannn-" she smiles, "Merry Christmas-" and hands him a candy cane that she pulled out from behind her back.

Dean smiles, taking the candy and putting it inside his jacket pocket. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart-" he gestures for her to sit down. "Here-"

The girl takes the thin black box she's handed -the kind that nice jewelry comes in- and opens it carefully so that it's contents don't fall out. "Oh my God, Dean-" her eyes widen dramatically, a smile on her face. "It's so pretty-" she pulls out a dainty silver necklace with a charm on it that looked like a bird. "I love it, thank you-"

Dean blushes, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not weird right-" leans over the table. "Me gettin' you somethin' like this?" the gift was clearly nice, at least a hundred dollars.

"Nope-" she hands him the necklace and stands up, getting her hair is out of the way.

Dean stands up and puts the necklace around her neck, clasping it carefully at the back. "It's perfect-" and he's still blushing, his hands now in his jeans pockets. The girl leans in and kisses his cheek a little too long. "What was that for-" his words are quiet, raspy. 

Robin cups his face, "You really have to ask?" and gives him a quick wink before running off to get his usual order. 

Dean stands there for almost a minute completely dumbfounded and no doubt flushed in the face until Castiel waves him over to his booth. He rushes over and sits down, unable to hide the smile on his face because it felt so damn nice to get his friend something sweet. Castiel wasn't jealous, simply wrapping an arm around him and telling him he did good in picking that necklace out of her.

The three of them enjoyed a nice lunch together when Robin took her break, many laughs were shared and didn't even flinch when Castiel accidentally held onto Dean's hand on top of the table. When he notices what he's done, he removes his hand casually as he can. Eventually the girl gets back to work but not before bringing them an entire pie and coffees to go.

Dean and Castiel will surely gain a few pounds just from pies alone if they're not careful but maybe that won't be such a bad thing. The two teenagers hug goodbye and Castiel wishes Robin and her family happy holidays.

Before leaving town, they manage to stop by a grocery store to stock up on a few essentials. The couple try to hurry in the store or else their pie would get cold and they really didn't want that because they were hoping to get the dessert back home to Bobby so they could share, poor guy wasn't doing so well this week.

Dean wonders if his uncle ended up liking his gifts, which included a brand new tool kit and a few flannels while Castiel had gotten him a couple of gift cards. One was for his favorite burger place, the other was to spend at the Auto Parts store in town that he frequents often. 

They walk up the porch steps, carrying the many grocery bags into the warm home. "Bobby!" the teen roars, setting all the goodies down at the kitchen table.

The bearded man tries to appear unaffected at all the things that Castiel had bought for him. All this stuff was going to last him a few weeks at best and he was damn grateful for it, accepting the generosity without a fuss. Dean catches the moment when his grizzly bear of an uncle pulls his stepfather in for a big hug that lasts a little too long and the moment tugs on his heart strings.

Dean mocks them, "Awwwwww-" the two men pull apart quickly. "You two goin' gay for each other now?"

"Don't start-" his stepfather says tightly and moves to find a large knife to cut the pie with. 

The teen holds up his arms in fake surrender before putting everything away in either the fridge or cabinets, then they sit down for coffee and pie. Dean ends up cutting the dessert because pie is clearly his thing and serves them all subpar slices, leaving the biggest portion for himself. "Robin was my girlfriend-" he shrugs, "So I get the biggest piece-" the two adults look at him. "We got a problem here?"

Bobby and Castiel look at each other before digging in, "No-" they both say in unison.

The teens fork comes down aggressively on his desert, "Damn straight-" and digs in too.

Bobby seems to be in a humorous mood because he says, "Well ya clearly ain't-" and it makes them all laugh. 

The rest of the night is spent sitting in front of the fire place, telling stories about the past. Mostly Castiel speaks, with Dean and his uncle listening to his nostalgic words. There were plenty of tales shared about his childhood, which Dean has never heard of before and it was more than nice to hear them. _Finally._

But most of all, Dean's just happy to have his uncle and his stepfather all under one roof and have the situation be calm for once. There's no fighting, no violence whatsoever- only family and good times. He's got a feeling that everything might turn out just fine in the end-hell- he's got the rest of his life with this nerdy man to figure shit out and there's no one else he would rather do life with. _Bobby too._

Things are going so well that Dean has to try really hard not to question recent life events too much. It's been almost a week since Christmas, the _best_ one of his life to date and it can only get better from here. Now the new year was around the corner and they planned a big barbecue with lots of food and fireworks. Aside from Bobby, Castiel actually took the initiative to invite Robin, Kevin and even Ash.

Dean asked about Claire, if he would've liked her to be able to come because she was nice, so was Donna but Castiel thinks it would have been way too weird. Jody, his therapist would have been awesome to have as a guest but there's no way they can socialize outside of their sessions. As far as they know it's just going to be the _gang._ Dean can't wait for new years, it's going to be fun and fireworks were promised.

While his stepfather is in town gathering their supplies, Dean gets a fire going- a bonfire and the grill -because you have to have both. Bobby hasn't seen his nephew this happy in a long time, maybe it's the first time he's seen him this content and why wouldn't he be. Things are beyond great right now and he's enjoying the break from going to class, even Castiel had a week off from the hospital and used up a few of his vacation days in order to get it.

It's almost sunset and the guests are starting to roll in, "Bobby-" the teen calls out to his uncle while he starts the grill and warms his cold hands over it. Kevin shows up first and they talk for a while, until Castiel comes back. Only then do they put a few burger patties and hot dogs on the grill.

While Dean talks and laughs with his friend, Castiel gives him a loving look of adoration from where he stands with Bobby on the porch. Dean always smiles and looks away before his friend can see. Robin shows up next, practically jumps into Dean's arms when they hug hello but it's not like he minds the affection and it would always be _welcomed._

Ash shows up last and brings the fireworks, as instructed and paid for by Castiel. They still didn't really fancy each other but Castiel was doing this for Dean so he gave the kid some money to buy as many fireworks as he could get his hands on. It's been a few years since Dean has seen any from up close and tonight was the night that he would because he deserved to see the sky light up.

The cold air around them begins to smell really good and the food is being served up, Bobby takes over so his nephew could take a break. "Come back soon boy, this is yer party-" and off he goes, inside to go use the bathroom.

The teen goes to the bathroom and when he exits, his stepfather was in the kitchen and clearly struggling to take all the refreshments outside

"Lemme help, dumbass-" his voice is full with warmth, despite the insult. "Hey, Cas?" the man turns around, three large bottles of cokes in his arms. "Thanks, for all this-" his eyes are looking a little pink around the edges because he's fucking happy.

They head outside together and love all the laughter and chatting happening outside because it feels like love and acceptance. Soon everyone is eating, drinking and laughing together for hours. The party goes uninterrupted until a few minutes before midnight.

Castiel calls it, "It's almost time-" his eyes go to his love by the fire with his friends and gives him a nod. "Three. Two. One!-" and as soon as he called it, Robin kisses Dean on the lips.

Dean lets her, hands on her shoulders like he's never kissed a girl before. As soon as the kiss ends, his gaze find blue and they aren't pissed at him. His stepfather simply gives him a smile and returns to his conversation with Bobby. Dean hugs her, then hugs Kevin and even hugs Ash- who took some convincing but it was new years so he gave in eventually.

Ash is the bravest of them all and quickly starts lighting up the fireworks, they lit up the sky just like Castiel had wanted. Dean's favorite would be the ones that made the sky look like pink explosions were going off even though he'd never admit that he liked the pink ones the most. Kevin's favorite were the red ones that looked like fire, Robin's favorite were the yellow ones because they looked like the sun.

But Ash didn't really have a favorite, he just liked that they all sounded like bombs going off. It's all that mattered to him, not the colors. Castiel's and Bobby's though, they enjoyed the sparklers best and maybe that's because they were _old_ like Dean often says in a joking way.

Kevin and Robin go home first, around one in the morning. Ash goes home last, around two thirty and that leaves them to clean up the remains of a very awesome new years. Dean's going around with a garbage bag and picking up everything he can manage to see in the dark. Bobby heads in for bed because he's so damn tired, it was a really long day for him.

Castiel comes up behind him, "Dean-" and the teen stands up and turns around. "Happy new years baby-" he pulls him close and kisses him softly. "I love you-"

Dean smiles with his eyes still closed. "Me too, Cas-" they kiss again, making out sweetly for a while before pulling away. "About Robin kissin' me, uh-" 

"Don't worry about it, you deserved to be normal today-" and the look in his eyes shows him that he means this. "I'm not mad, It's okay baby-" 

The teen closes his eyes, tilting his head to the side so they can kiss again. The kiss is so soft, and warm. Dean loves this, so does Castiel because they're so in love and it doesn't feel wrong. No one could ever make them feel like this is wrong, they only hide because they have too and hopefully soon there will come a day that they never will again. 

"So-" the man ends the kiss first, pulling away. "Going to bed?"

Dean looks at his truck in the distance, "I think I'll go for a drive-" a smile forms on his pretty freckled lips. "Think about my awesome life, you know-" there's a laugh. "Boy things-"

The man smiles, "I'll go with you-" 


	73. Barely Legal

Castiel is in Dean's bedroom simply _talking_ about his birthday plans and Castiel doesn't know if he should be pissed or not yet, but Dean's growing up so his request isn't that earth shattering. Is he having a hard time with what he is asking for? Of course, but if he wants their relationship to work he's got to let this boy grow up like any other normal teenager. 

"So, strip club for your birthday-" his tone of voice sounds anything but thrilled.

Dean's resting his head on the older mans shoulder as they have this conversation on his bed while listening to some music on Bobby's old stereo. Things were going very well between them lately, taking sex out of it really is helping them to communicate in other ways than just physically. Dean is really doing his best to talk stuff out and Castiel is actually listening for a change, like _really_ listening.

After some back and forth on the subject, the teen wins the discussion and will be allowed to go to a strip club for his birthday. After all it's what his uncle had promised him a few months back. _Women and beer._ Once his birthday plans are set in stone, Dean pulls the older man on top of him so they can fool around for a bit before he has to go.

"Come on, make out with me-" he begs in a hushed tone. "Bobby took a sleeping pill, he'll be out for hours-"

Castiel kisses him gently because it's too hard to say no and soon things get steamy between the two of them. "Mmm-" the feeling of their denim covered erections grinding against each other feels amazing. A hand is now groping between his legs, causing him to groan. "Don't do that-" the hand keeps fondling him. "Dean, stop-" now he's impatient.

"Make me-" he's pressing delicious kisses to the older mans stubble covered jawline. "Unless-"

Castiel chuckles, "Unless nothing-" and pushes away from his love so that they don't get into trouble. Now that he's laying on his side is when he notices the stuffed animal he'd gotten him for Christmas. "You sleep with Grumpy Cat?"

Dean reaches over for the cat and hugs it, giving it a kiss on the forehead. "Well, yea-" there's a blush on his face and some concern because his stepfather suddenly looks emotional. "Cas, you okay?"

Castiel pulls the teen close to him, an arm around his midsection. "You used to do that, with your old Spider Man doll-" there's a short pause. "Do you remember carrying him everywhere you went?" 

"Its kind of a blur-" Dean is blushing. "What the hell ever happened to it?"

"I think I still have it somewhere-" their eyes are locked on each other. "I couldn't get rid of something you loved so much, I'm guessing your mother got it for you-"

Dean nuzzles into the man's neck for emotional safety. "You're awesome-" then sighs lovingly. "Yea she did, give it back to me if you find it." 

Castiel kisses the top of his head, "I'll look for it baby-" and soon the teen is asleep so he tries his best to get away without waking him. 

The pure look of innocence on Dean's face is beautiful, not to mention how adorable he looked holding the stuffed cat tightly in his arms. It was a pretty image that will forever be in his memories because this boy is really growing up, soon to be a man and it saddens him in the strangest way.

Of course he wants Dean to grow up but it doesn't mean that it will be easy to let him do so. Castiel sighs longingly before closing the bedroom door behind him. 

On Dean Winchesters birthday Castiel was stuck at work for the day but would be meeting him for beer and _women_ that night. Was he looking forward to going to a strip club? No, he really wasn't because places like those bring back some unpleasant memories he would rather keep buried. His day is going just like any other and he's managing pretty well considering what day it was.

Castiel assumed he would be an emotional wreck when the day finally came and his assumption is proven correct when the teen calls him during his lunch break to chat for a few minutes. It's so hard for him to swallow down his emotions because they just hit him all at once, as soon as he hears his voice over the phone. It could all just be in his head but suddenly the teens voice sounds much deeper.

"Uh, Cas you there?" he seems ticked off. "I said I fuckin' miss you-"

Castiel clears his throat because he's being a big baby right now, "I'm here-" sniffles. "I miss you too sweetheart-"

Dean groans in annoyance on the other end of the line, "So you gonna meet us there or what?"

"I know it's your big day but I'm not feeling well-" that was a fucking lie and yes he is lying to Dean Winchester on his birthday because all he wants to do is go home and cry about this.

Dean kicks something on his end of the line, "You really gonna bail on me tonight?" and is clearly getting pissed.

Castiel sighs heavily, "Of course not-" instantly the teen on the other end of the line is happy and gushing about something entirely unrelated to their plans for the night. It was a dick move trying to flake out on the teens big day but hey, he tried to anyway.

Throughout the day Castiel had managed to tear up every time he sees a young boy coming into the ER, it's hard to tell if he just doesn't want Dean to get older or if he's just yearning for a child of his own. It's so confusing because he'd given up on that dream a long time ago but he would definitely be open to kids if Dean had wanted them, though he's not so sure about what his opinions are on the subject.

They have so much talking to do, about their future and what's going to come next for them. Of course he's aware that his love is younger and may not want kids right now and he would never pressure him for anything. Even so, discussions must be had and they need to happen soon.

The end of the day doesn't come fast enough before it's six in the evening and he's logging off the computer for the day. "Bye Meg-" he says casually before shutting his eyes tightly for a moment and then apologizing with a chuckle to the nurse at his side because she was not _Meg._

Could this day get any _weirder?_

The plan was to meet Dean and Bobby at the strip club, luckily this place was nothing like the club he used to frequent back when he was with John. Dean still doesn't know that he cheated on his father with a dancer not long after they had gotten together. How would he react to learn that being with Meg wasn't the first time he's _strayed,_ does it even matter now? 

Castiel's stomach is hurting pretty fucking bad when he walks into the dimly lit club and the loud music takes him back. He really doesn't want to be here but Dean wants to have this experience and he'll be damned if he robs him of it. It doesn't take long before his eyes land on the bearded man and the young love of his life.

It's ridiculous how he's being about this day, his baby is just turning legal and it shouldn't be such a bad thing. Castiel orders a rum and coke at the bar before bringing it over to the table where Dean and Bobby are sitting.

Dean yells, "You made it!" over the loud Spanish music. "Get your white ass over here babe!" clearly, he's had something to drink because _babe_ has never been his term of endearment. 

Castiel pulls a chair up to the table that was really only meant for two people and leans into his love, "He let you drink?" 

Dean hiccups with an adorable smile on his face, "S'my birthday dude-" then frowns. "You haven't told me you loved me today-" the water works are coming because he's just that much of a light weight.

Castiel wraps an arm around the birthday boy. "Shh baby don't cry, you know I love you-" then shoots a glare at Bobby for letting him sip on his beer. "How about we leave soon? I have a present waiting for you at the house-

"If it's your dick, it don' count-" he leans in close to the man and sighs, "Think I'm kinda drunk-" hiccups. "Feel all weird-" 

Right then the most beautiful Spanish girl Dean has ever seen walks by their table and his eyes follow her as if under some kind of love spell. Castiel notices this, Bobby doesn't because his eyes were on a different woman. He's trying not to be jealous and waves her over to their table and the teen quickly gives him the death stare that is meant to convey _what the hell did you do that for._

The three of them can instantly smell her overly fruity perfume but it was somehow very nice. Castiel gives her a couple of bills so that she can dance for the birthday boy. The girl smiles and wishes him a happy birthday before climbing onto his lap to begin. 

Dean gulps, nervous as all fuck because he's never been this close to such a beautiful girl. "Oh my God-" he whimpers, the dancer was wearing nothing but a tiny bikini type of thing that was clearly way too small for her. 

The teen looks over at Castiel with eyes full of fear rather than pleasure or enjoyment so he leans in to reassure him. Dean seems to relax after that and looks up at the girl, simply watching her body above him in amazement. Although he was very much _gay_ for the man he loves but this, this felt pretty damn fucking nice too and it only serves to confuse him more.

It's not long before Bobby leaves the club because it's nearing ten in the evening and it's almost his bedtime. Dean gives him the green light to take his truck back home and let's him know he'll be riding home with Castiel. No offense to his uncle but as soon as the man leaves, that's when the real fun begins because they can let loose without feeling weird about it.

Dean yells, "Wooo!" at his favorite girl when she gets on stage at midnight. Yes, they've been here that long.

Castiel looks at his cell phone in the dark, "It's time to go baby-" and elbows the teen. "It's getting late-" but he's not budging. "I want to go home so we can fuck-"

Dean is nodding eagerly that instant "Yea, okay Cas-" and is getting up and almost tripping on his way out because of the pure excitement. 

Back at home, Dean is clinging to his stepfather for dear life and kissing every inch of his face and neck that he can get to. Castiel groans because this fucking turns him on and he's got to shove the teen away from him. 

"Go to my room-" he orders, "Now-"

Dean practically runs to the bedroom and waits for the man to finish doing whatever he was going to do out there. Castiel goes to the bathroom for a quick shower because his body really needed it after a long day at work. When he returns to the bedroom with just a towel around his neck, the teen is eager to get started on what is sure to be a very passionate few hours.

"Cas, come on-" he begs softly from where he's now laying in bed, sounding completely sober. "I need you-"

Castiel walks over and lets the towel around his neck drop to the floor before climbing into his bed. The teen was clearly anxious about being intimate again, so much so that his hand trembles when they begin touching each others exposed skin. "Baby you got me, just relax-"

Dean swallows, looking up at the man through his lashes. "Yea, okay-" it's so hard for him not to be nervous right now. "Easy tiger, haven't gotten fucked in a while-" a nervous laugh escapes him. There's something heavy poking his unready hole, "Careful, jeez-"

The man smiles patiently because he's not new at this, "You're gonna be fine baby-" the teen nods submissively and allows himself to be lubed up and prepped. "You're clenching-" he's still being patient. "Come on baby, let me in-"

Dean groans in frustration before relaxing, closing his eyes. "Sorry-" but it's not helping, he's anticipating the painful breech. 

Castiel leans forward and begins kissing his neck, taking his time to lick and nip lightly to get him more aroused. His hand eventually wraps around his cock to stroke him a few times, it doesn't take long before Dean begins whimpering and sighing in that way that lets him know he's ready. "I love you sweetheart, happy birthday-" the words are mumbled against his forehead as he pushes in.

Dean wasn't expecting it just yet and pushes the older man away on instinct, "Cas-" he's clearly struggling against the large thing pushing in. Suddenly, it brushes up against that special spot once it's all the way inside. "Oh God-" his eyes roll back. "Don't stop-" now he's pulling the man closer.

Castiel bites his lip and continues pushing in at the angle that gives his lover the most pleasure. "Feeling good there baby?" his cock is pushing in deeply, slowly. The teen under him whimpers beautifully. "I love you so much, you know that- don't you?"

Dean inhales sharply because the man is speeding up in his movements, _"Mmmph,_ yea-" his eyes roll back. "I-I love you too-" and suddenly, emotions overwhelm him and tears sting his eyes. " _Cas-"_

The teen is instantly comforted with kisses to his face and talked to sweetly until they both climax. It was intense, beyond intense and soon they're both whimpering and moaning in the quiet bedroom. They make out passionately until the aftershocks of their orgasms have faded and gone away. Dean's trembling under the man, parts of his body are still twitching from the orgasm.

There's no shame when they go at it once more that night and Dean is completely ravenous this time, no longer being shy or nervous. His fingernails are clawing at the mans back almost angrily but it's pure passion and lust. Several _Ugh_ and _mmph_ sounds are escaping from their lips in unison because they're both feeling so connected, like they're one person right now.

It's only been a few minutes since round two began but their bodies are already begging to come for the second time. Things are speeding up and they're panting harshly, no longer moaning because they're almost racing each other to see who can come first. It's not competitive, simply fun and they giggle once in a while because they feel so comfortable with each other.

Dean's body begins tightening up first and lets go, ropes of thick hot come shoot out between their sweat slicked bodies. Castiel follows soon after and kisses his partners mouth with all he's got in order to keep himself grounded, or else he'd probably float away. It's a mess between their bodies and it should be disgusting but they keep kissing through these aftershocks as well. 

Castiel pulls out carefully once he's calmed down and moans at seeing all of it spill out from the pretty hole. "I'll never tire of filling you up like this-"

Dean's knees press together in shyness but the man pushes them apart forcefully. "Cas-" he smiles, no doubt blushing. "We can fuck again tomorrow, okay?" 

"I wasn't going to do anything to you-" he sounds pissed off suddenly. "You're just so pretty down there-" his eyes are focused on the teens twitching hole, not caring if it was creepy.

Dean just giggles, "Mmhm, right-" completely thinking that the man's anger is cute for a change. "Hold me?" he asks for the gesture so innocently.

Castiel sighs tiredly and pulls him close, wrapping an arm around the petite body as they fall asleep completely naked. It was nice to not have to cover up afterwards or rush to get the hell out of dodge after sex. The couple sleep soundly that night with no troubles or nightmares, Dean slept like a baby for the first time since who knows when.

The next morning, Dean opens his eyes to find the man still asleep next to him and reaches over to check his phone. There was nothing from his uncle, maybe because now he's technically legal and there's no use in telling him what to do or when to get his ass home. The teen rolls over and begins kissing on the mans neck to get him to wake up, though his cock seems to perk up first.

"Dean-" his tone is annoyed, one eye opens. "I need to sleep-" but the teen keeps kissing his neck.

"I want more-" the words are muffled between kisses.

Castiel is silent while simply enjoying the sensation of being kissed and contemplating if fucking him again was worth the lack of sleep or not. It turned out that it would be worth it because he's up instantly and flipping the teen onto his stomach. His hands are kneading those familiar plush cheeks, spreading them apart to see the pretty prize between them. 

Dean looks over his shoulder and is a picture of beauty right then, his hair a mess and his lips parted slightly with desire. Castiel leans forward and spits on his target before lining up his already hard cock with the teens hole. He pushes into the familiar heat in one smooth motion since Dean was still a little loose from only a few hours ago.

A quick pace is set from the get go with deep thrusts every time, the sound of skin slapping skin is loud in the room. "This what you had in mind?" his voice sounds tight but raspy from sleep.

Dean moans like a whore while his ass gets pounded from behind, unable to answer the mans question. His hands are at the sides of his head and gripping the pillow for dear life, simply holding on for the rough ride. Castiel's hands keep his cheeks spread apart in order to watch his large cock going in and out of that sweet hole. Eventually the teen squeals softly because his prostate was getting jabbed roughly every time the man punched in.

Dean looks over his shoulder, eyes half open and he's moaning a string of _Ugh's._ Castiel comes deeply inside him, balls deep until he's left everything in there. That's when he pulls out, regardless of the teens protesting whimpers.

"Finish yourself off baby-" he leans forward to kiss his ass roughly before getting up from the bed, "I have to jump in the shower, thanks to you I'm already late for work-"

Dean props himself on his elbows, looking completely fucked out and sad. "But I wanted-" he's doesn't want to move just yet because he hates how it feels getting up with come in his ass. " _Cas-"_ it sounds like he might cry.

Castiel looks back at him, "Baby you're making late." silence. "You're a big boy now, don't be like this-" 

Dean is pouting, literally pouting as if it will get him what he wants. Castiel sighs before going to sit on the edge of the bed, "Roll over-" he orders and he obeys, rolling over onto his back now. He leans forward and starts blowing the teen, going slow but deep taking him down his throat because why the hell not. "Mmm-" he moans full of him.

The teens hands find their way into the mans hair and begins tugging desperately because he's almost there. "I'm-" his voice is squeaky, " _Ugh-"_ and his hips are thrusting up, now fucking his stepfathers mouth but it's not like he can't handle it anyway. "I'm-" he comes almost violently into his mouth, making him gag and breathe heavily through his nose. Still, the man handles it like a champ and finishes the job gracefully.

Castiel sits up and looks him in the eye, "Is my little baby boy satisfied now?" clearly it was meant to sound mocking.

Dean sighs shakily, nodding. "Yea-" sighs heavily out of exhaustion. "Now, go make us some money-"

The man smiles before getting up, "You say that like I'm going to go sell drugs on the street corner-" 

"You sort of are a drug dealer-" his head rests against the pillow, "Don't your patients get fentanyl or some shit before surgery?" although he may have been wrong about it's use but the fact that he even knows about it at all catches his stepfathers attention.

Castiel comes close, standing by the edge of the bed. "Where did you hear about fentanyl?" his voice is heavy with concern.

Dean shrugs, "Ash told me about it-" the man sits on the edge of the bed again, looking like he's no longer going anywhere. "What? I didn't do nothin'-"

Castiel nods knowingly, "Of course you didn't. I would be able to tell if you had taken something like that- " the teen swallows nervously. "Did he ask you if you wanted to try it?" he shrugs again. "Did he?" the question is repeated a little louder.

Dean scoots away on the bed because he's suddenly a little too close. "N-no Cas, fuck-" 

The man stands up once again and starts going through his drawers for a clean pair of scrubs. "I don't want you hanging out with him anymore, I knew he was no good-" there's silence while he dresses for work without showering because he was running too late for one. "I mean it-" he looks over his shoulder while pulling up his pants, "Stay away from him-"

Dean sits up on the bed and pulls the bed sheet over his bare lap, "And if I don't?"

Castiel grabs his bag, hauling it over his shoulder. The look on his eyes is threatening, "I think you know better than to disobey me-" there's a pause of silence because Dean isn't answering him. "Don't you baby?" 

The teen nods quickly because _fuck_ if his stepfather doesn't scare the living hell out of him when pissed. "Yea, I know-" maybe he would've stood his ground a bit more or yelled at the man for being such a bitch but he's just too lovesick right now.

Castiel looks down at his watch for the time, "Take a shower and call Bobby, check on him for me-" then exits the room. "And clean the fucking house while I'm gone!" his voice calls out from down the hall before the front door slams gently behind him.

Dean is sort of angry that he got talked to like this, like he's a fucking child. It should have stopped considering that he's now eighteen years old, it's barely legal but it _still_ counts. _Right?_

The teen gets up from the messy bed at once and makes a mental note to put on some fresh sheets before the warden comes home tonight. His shower manages to clean him off pretty well and he watches his legal sins go right down the drain as he remains lost in deep thought for a while. It seems like Castiel will always be bossy towards him, it's just his nature to be dominant.

Maybe he's okay with it because it's done in love, there's no doubt that Castiel loves him with all of his being.

After exiting the bathroom, he slips into one of his stepfathers more fitted shirts and a pair of briefs that fit him like loose boxers. It reminds him that he should try to gain some more weight, or maybe some muscle because who wouldn't want to be a little buff. Dean Winchester certainly would like to be, it's not like he ever wanted to be thin or skinny. 

The whole thing was just some stupid mistake, it's what he tells himself while looking in front of the mirror and sees the loose fitting clothing on his body. At least now he's got some color to his face and his hands aren't so cold, plus he's not as tired as he used to be. Things might be finally looking up for him and Castiel now that he's an adult. _Kind of._

Dean makes the bed and doesn't do a very good job at it, the corners are never even but it's better than sleeping in their mess again. He takes care of the dishes, which is the absolute worst chore of all time. Then comes laundry which he doesn't mind so much, it's quite relaxing to get lost in the folding and putting away of shirts and pants. It's only relaxing to do this with Castiel's clothes, his own always end up on the floor and it's unclear why.

The longest task of the day is sweeping and mopping the floors in the house because there were three rooms total, aside from the kitchen and living room. His mind wanders while working and the sick thought of having to do this for the rest of his life has him freaking out just a little. Will he always be cleaning the house while Castiel is at work? Will he always be stuck at home by himself?

Dean basically throws the broom and mop back into the small kitchen closet when he's finished with them. He's been an adult for one day, just one day and he's already dreading the rest of his life. There's a twisted part of him that doesn't want to grow up, _Like ever._ A bigger part of him just wants to continue being a kid and have his stepfather continue babying him.

A loud knock at the front door startles him, his eyes quickly glance at the vintage looking clock on the wall to reveal that it was still too early for Castiel to come home. Besides, the man wouldn't knock at his own front door so he goes over to open it just enough to peek through, "Yea?" 

The man on the porch has a clip board with him, "Novak residence?" and the teen nods. "Great, I'm here to inspect the house-" there's an extremely confused look on his face. "I'm an HVAC technician, I'm here to take care of the heating-" his voice is growing impatient. "You have an appointment-"

Dean opens the door wide enough for him and another two big guys to walk through. Against his better judgement he says, "My dad didn't tell me you guys were coming today-" even though he's a man now, he sure as hell doesn't feel like it yet.

The need to say Castiel is his dad rather than boyfriend is still stronger than ever because having some type of father figure makes him feel safe.

The man ignores him as he orders his guys around the home and they begin to poke and probe at the house, seeing what they need to do. Dean follows the main guy, nodding at the things he says even if he doesn't understand a single word.

Eventually he becomes hungry so he goes to the kitchen to fix himself a sandwich, after a while all the guys were leaving except the one in charge. "All done?" he asks shyly from where he's sitting at the table.

The man shakes his head, "Nah. Gotta come back-" and his eyes check the teen out a little too long. "Where's your dad?"

Dean gulps, "Work-" and puts his sandwich down uncomfortably. "He's comin' back soon-" but the clock on the wall in the living room says otherwise, it was only three in the afternoon. 

"Here's the quote-" the guy smiles, "He'll need to pay this before my guys start working-" and comes close enough to hand the teen a slip of yellow paper.

Dean takes the piece of paper and nods, not saying anything. The man leaves with an awkward smile and as soon as that door closes, he makes sure to lock it behind him. Like a baby, he dials Castiel to let him know some guys came over and why he hadn't said anything about it but there was no answer. He looks out the window and watches the men standing by their industrial van that was parked up front, occasionally they look back at the house and they're laughing about something.

An uneasy feeling overflows inside of him, like maybe they're going to do something to him or rob the house. One of the guys walks up to the house again, his heavy boots stomp onto the porch and then knocks on the front door. "Hey kid-" knocks again. "Open the door, I know you're in there-"

Dean opens the door, "What?" and maybe he shouldn't have opened the door again but his stepfather will be even more pissed if this doesn't get done because he's the one who asked for heat in the first place.

"Forgot my clipboard in the spare bedroom-" and the teen lets him in, allowing the guy to go get it on his own but he stands by the doorway in case he has to run for it. 

Dean looks outside to the other men who are staring at him, they looked more like gang members rather than technicians. _Fuck._ The man comes and gives him a toothy smile before exiting and once again, locks the door behind him and goes to spy on them from the window. When the three guys finally get into the van and drive away, that's when he relaxes and goes to the kitchen to finish eating.

Luckily Castiel came home earlier than expected that night, around five. "Honey, I'm home-" his humorous tone echoes through the house as soon as he lets himself into the house. The teen comes padding over quickly from the living room, burying his face into his chest. "What's the matter baby?" his tone softens into a loving one.

Dean nuzzles closer, arms wrapped around the man in fear. "You didn't tell me those technicians were comin' by-" he says with a punch to his shoulder when he pulls away.

Castiel chuckles, "Sorry about that, kind of a last minute thing-" the teen looks up at him warily, "Don't tell me you were scared-" before nuzzling into his chest again. "I'm sorry baby-" 

Dean shrugs and goes to sit on the couch in front of the television. When Castiel comes to sit next to him, he gestures to a plate covered in foil on the coffee table. "Made dinner-" his voice is soft, distracted. 

Castiel leans over to peel the foil off the plate to reveal a baked potato, some carrots and a large helping of lasagna. "You made this?" he's so surprised by this. "Don't think you've ever made me real food before-" and smiles before digging into his meal.

Dean watches him eat, hugging his knees to his chest on the couch protectively. "Been learning from Bobby-" is all he says until the man's finished eating in only a few minutes. 

Castiel chugs his soda down in one long gulp before leaning back to relax. "Long day at work, but I'm glad I get to come home to you." he finally looks over at the teen, scooting closer. "Are you okay?" his eyes are searching his young face for answers.

Dean shrugs, "I don't want those guys in the house when I'm friggin' alone, Cas-"

"Why is that a problem? They weren't going to do anything to you." 

Dean doesn't believe him, because it's stuck in his head that all _older_ men are going to hurt him. His eyes water a bit and he's biting the skin on the side of his thumb again, watching the television mindlessly. 

Castiel wraps an arm around him, "Baby, what's this about?" and the teen leans towards him, looking up. Now he understands the issue here, "Not all men are going to hurt you, Dean-" his words are soft and caring. "Just because your dad-" he shakes his head, unable to continue.

The teen adds, "Gordon-" to the list of men who hurt him. "Dad is one thing, but he-" he swallows, closing his eyes. "H-he didn't know me and he did _that-"_

Castiel kisses the top of his head, keeping his nose buried in the clean smelling hair. "Dean, not all men are going to do _that-"_ there's still some guilt left for letting him run off on his own that day. "I promise, nothing like that is going to happen again-"

Dean sniffles, wiping under his eyes. "I guess-" they watch television for a while in silence, or pretend to at least. "It hurt-" inhales sharply. "How come it doesn't hurt when you do the _same_ thing to me-"

Castiel grows a little uncomfortable but his arm tightens around the teen protectively, "I don't rape you-" those green eyes are looking up at him expectantly but is unable to meet their gaze right then. "You know I love you, right?"

Dean takes a little too long before nodding in agreement. "Yea, I know-" his tone is sad and snuggles into his embrace for some more for comfort. "I'm-" now their eyes meet finally. "I'm not gay-" the mans brows knit together in confusion. "I don't like men-"

Castiel doesn't get it but says, "Okay-" anyway in a very far away tone.

"I mean, I love you-" he struggles to articulate how he feels. "But just _you_ , like-" he groans in frustration. "I'm gay for you, just you. Alright?"

Castiel smiles, "I already knew that-" 

Dean rolls his eyes, wishing he could express himself better. "Yea, whatever-" the man leans close and asks him when they will talk about Gordon or his father because they haven't discussed it much. "Not yet-" he states softly, "I'm scared to-"

"Why baby?" his hand runs up and down the teens back lovingly. "You're safe with me-"

"I feel like if I talk about it, that something bad will happen-" 

Castiel has both arms around him now, "Baby nothing bad is going to happen just by talking about it. You're safe now, you'll always be safe-" the teen looks up at him. "I promise. I'm always going to be here-"

Dean straddles him then, hands on the older mans face now and kisses him softly. "Tell me you love me, Cas-" he whispers against rough lips. "Tell me how much-" his hips grinding now, extracting a groan from the man under him.

Castiel's hands are on his ass, helping him move against his own body. "I love you so much, baby-" he groans, hands roaming up underneath the teens shirt to feel hot skin. "You don't know how much-" he's looking up into green eyes. "Everything I do, it's for you-" the teens smaller hands are pushing his shirt up to expose his chest. "I don't do anything without you in mind-"

Dean leans forward to kiss his chest after pulling off the mans scrub top, "Don't stop-" he whispers, now kissing the mans salty tasting neck. "Keep talking-"

Castiel pulls off the teens shirt as well, now feeling up and down his bare back. "I need you to hear me, Dean-" the teen nods, listening. "You're _safe_ now-" but he looks away then, not wanting to believe. "You're safe-" he repeats, before the teen wraps his arms around his neck and begins sobbing quietly. "You're safe baby-"

Dean mumbles, "It was so bad-" and sniffles. "I was so scared, he-"

Castiel listens, "What do you wanna tell me sweetheart?"

"Thought he was gonna kill me-" he pulls away enough so they can look each other in the eye, "Like, _after._ He told me he was gonna do it-"

"You never-" he closes his eyes, trying to find his patience. "Baby you never told me that-" there's silence. "Talk to me-" his words are pleading.

Dean looks into his eyes and sees no anger there, "He-" there's some hesitation. "He hit me and I froze, because it reminded me of dad and I couldn't fuckin' do anything about it-" he laughs softly, he's just that uncomfortable opening up about this event. "Threatened to kill me and my family if I told on em' and I believed him-"

Castiel's gaze on him doesn't falter, "You know he was lying, right?" his voice is soft still. "Abusers lie-" their foreheads come to touch tenderly. "They lie to _us-"_ their breathing stutters in unison. "They're cowards, that's why they hurt other people. It's how they feel strong-"

Dean nods, trying his best to believe the words he's being told. "I'm still scared of them-" a whimper gets caught in his throat. "I'm still scared of dad-I-I'm scared to be happy because I feel like he's gonna show up and ruin it-"

"I know baby-" he stands, carrying the teen with him to the bedroom for bed. "I was scared of him too-" 

Dean is placed carefully into bed with Castiel crawling in next to him under the thick blankets. The teen is pulled against his chest for safety and the room is silent for a long time but they both are well aware that the other is awake due to some minor movements here and there. Dean's eyes peek up in the middle of the night to find the man still awake with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. 

"Cas-"

"Hmm-"

Dean turns to his side, "We gotta talk about your crap too-" there's a pause. "Talk to me about dad-"

Castiel sighs, "I liked him a lot in the beginning. I was actually surprised when things went bad-" there's a long pause. "I was working a lot at the time, just got my first hospital job and it wasn't easy-" he looks over at Dean for a moment. "I was trying really hard to make it work-" shrugs. "And well, I didn't always come home wanting to have sex so he forced it on me a few times-"

Dean becomes uncomfortable but listens intensely anyway because he knows this information won't be repeated a second time. "It was more than a few times-"

The man closes his eyes, nodding. "I don't like admitting that I was getting raped, Dean." his eyes open, focusing on the ceiling. "A few months into our relationship your father put me in the hospital-" the teen sits up in concern and he meets his eyes. "You were too young to know the truth so we told you that I was in a car accident-"

"Yea, I remember that-" his voice is soft, guilty. "You looked-"

Castiel chuckles softly, tears in his eyes. "You called me a monster-" the teen bites his lip anxiously for ever saying such a thing, "You were just a kid, didn't know any better. I did look like one after he was done with me-" he swallows, "That was the worst of it, beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital with a head injury-" 

Dean covers his face with his hands in shame for his fathers wrong doings, as if the blame somehow shifts onto him now that he's dead. "Fuck, I'm so sorry-" he almost sobs. "You should've just left me behind, should've ran the fuck away from us both-" 

Castiel pulls him back against his chest, kissing the top of his head with love. "That was a long time ago-" 

The teen tries to keep himself together and his voice cracking when he asks, "Why did you cry when he died?" there's a moment of silence. "I thought that weird-"

"I don't know, honestly-" his embrace on the teen tightens. "I don't love him, if that's what you're asking. I got emotional, that's all-" he swallows tightly, "I don't know how to explain it-" but there's something there that's missing.

Dean picks up on his dishonesty, "Cas-" his tone is accusatory. "You didn't give him drugs did you?" 

Castiel huffs a soft laugh, "Of course not-" 

"Did you give him any money?" no response. "Cas, did you give my dad money?" he hesitates before nodding, "How much?"

"The night you shot him, we went to the hospital. Remember?" the teen nods quickly. "I gave him what I had in my wallet, to make him go away-" his eyes tear up. "I didn't know he would-"

"Hmm-" the teen rolls away from his grasp, laying next to the man now instead of on him. "So dad bought all those drugs with your money."

"Dean-" he pleads, rolling onto his side now in order to be a little closer. "I cried because I felt so fucking guilty, okay? Is that what you want to hear me say? Because I feel guilty, It's my fucking fault-" 

Dean looks over at his stepfather who was fighting hard not to cry in front of him. "Okay, Cas. It's okay-" he rolls onto his side now too, "You didn't kill him, Okay?" he agrees. "It's not your fault my dad did drugs. You didn't know what he was gonna do with the money-" his hand rests softly on the mans stubble covered cheek. 

Castiel nuzzles into the teens neck now. "I still feel bad about everything-"

"Yea, me too-" he admits, his fingers card tenderly through his stepfathers dark hair.

The little emotional moment over John Winchester is quickly over with and they are back to talking about other things until they can fall asleep. Still, Castiel will somewhat always feel guilty about what happened to the man.

After all Castiel _did_ love him, regardless of what he tells Dean to his face. There was a time he would have done anything to make him happy.

Their relationship didn't end because the two grown men broke up, it ended because John _left._ Where he went to when he abandoned Castiel and his son? No one will ever know.


	74. Feelin' Blue

Dean comes home from school a few days after his official birthday to find that Castiel was at Bobby's with a fucking _cake_ waiting for him at the kitchen table. Almost instantly his heart melts and he wants to cry because he can't remember a birthday where his uncle was actually present. The last birthday Bobby was around for must have been his Sixth birthday and even that was spotty in his memories.

Castiel curses because his love had arrived a little earlier than expected and they weren't ready for him just yet. Anyhow, they stand up straight and wish him a happy birthday while still setting up the appropriate amount of candles on the very large cake. 

Even though he's clearly blushing and feeling all _soft,_ he's got to play it cool. "Kinda late on the cake, aren't we Cas?" but there's still a hint of a smile on his face to show gratitude. There's knocking at the front door then, "Whose that?" he asks while shrugging off his jacket.

Castiel goes to open the door and soon Kevin, Robin and Ash appear behind the man. They follow him into the kitchen before screaming Happy Birthday and all kinds of well wishes. Dean's eyes tear up because _fuck,_ there's way too much happiness and love in one room all of a sudden. His day at school had been crappy and coming home to _this,_ it's a total 180 of emotions.

"Thanks guys-" he smiles though, allowing for Robin to put a silly birthday hat on him after sitting down at the table. "You know I turned eighteen days ago-" 

Robin hugs him tightly from behind while pressing a bunch of kisses on his cheek, "I know but we couldn't all come over that day-" finally she releases her pink faced friend and sits on his lap just because. 

Dean instantly looks over to his stepfather with wide eyes but the look for _help_ goes unnoticed or maybe the man just trusts him entirely to allow something like this to happen. They end up ordering pizza for dinner after opening up some presents, then comes the cake. _Finally,_ it wasn't pie but this was just as awesome.

Dean blew out all of his candles after making a wish, surprisingly he didn't forget to this time around. This year was a big improvement to the last few years and can only hope for a bright future from here on out. 

The only complaint he's got about this little surprise party was the fact that Robin took a seat on his lap every now and then. It's a huge let down to himself when he actually pops a boner and has to shove her off of him in the most polite way possible by excusing himself to the bathroom. There's a slight look of hurt on her face but it's quickly replaced with giggles after Ash said something hilarious.

Apparently he's taking too long in the bathroom because Castiel comes to look for him, knocking lightly on the door before peeking inside to find him sitting on the toilet with his pants up. He walks in, closing the door behind him. "You okay baby?" 

Dean nods, "Yea-" there's a short pause. "I'm sorry Robin can't stay away from me-"

Castiel laughs, "It's fine-" another pause. "She clearly likes you-"

Dean's looking up at him with worry in his eyes, "I got a boner when she was sitting on me, doesn't that piss you off?"

"You're not gay so I'm not surprised-"

The teen is stunned, "What?"

Castiel leans against the bathroom counter, "You're bisexual-" and his face is stuck on a certain look that seems to convey _duh._ "How could you not know that you were bi?"

Dean blinks stupidly, "Um-" there's a long moment of silence because he's processing his sexually right now. "How the fuck did you know I was bi before me?"

Castiel laughs again, "Because you like _everybody-"_ and it's not said in an insulting manner. Mostly, it sounds like he's coming to terms with the fact that his young love simply likes _both._

The teen blushes and they share a quick few kisses in secret before going back to the party that had now moved into the living room. Again, Robin sits close to Dean and can't stop hugging him or kissing him on the cheek. All this affection is making Dean feel all squirmy because his friend isn't always this touchy with him.

Castiel smiles at him when their eyes meet, allowing this to go on because he trusts his love completely now. Dean is gracious for this because this was nice, being with his friends like this with not an ounce of jealousy from the man he loves.

As the night progresses, Robin is actually the first to leave since she is the youngest out of the group and Dean walks her out to her mothers car. They share a hug that lasts a little too long and Dean has to pull himself away, looking warily into her eyes because this behavior is a little _extra_ of her.

"Robin?" he says, cautiously. "What's going on with you today?"

The girl smiles with tears in her eyes, "I'm pregnant-" there's a pause. "I mean, I think I am-" she's now biting her nails.

Dean literally coughs because _holy shit_ , it was so shocking that he isn't sure he heard her correctly and yet his brother mode has been activated instantly. "How? Who?" he's losing his patience. "What asshole did this to you?" his voice is a little loud now due to the concern and anger coursing through him.

Robin looks down at her shoes, "I've been seeing this guy-" there's a few seconds of silence. 

Dean's pissed for obvious reasons. "You mean that loser that was pressuring you for it a few weeks back?" right then, the girl begins crying softly into her hands. "Okay-" his arms wrap around her. "I'm sorry, I'm not tryin' to be a dick here but-" they pull away from each other. "Are you sure you're pregnant?"

Robin bites her lip anxiously, "I mean- I think so, I haven't gotten my period in almost five weeks-"

Dean doesn't know much about _periods_ or anything aside from knowing that girls bleed once a month but fuck, it's sounding like his friend is pregnant. Somehow he feels betrayed by this because he feels like her older brother in some way and this is damn upsetting because she's fucking Sixteen.

"Listen to me-" his arms wrap around her once more because she's upset, "Tomorrow I'm gonna pick you up from work during lunch and we're gonna go get a test. Okay?" she nods sadly and he gives her a final hug before opening the passenger car door for her.

The teen stays outside getting some air and soon everyone comes out to join him, Ash and Kevin hug him goodbye before they leave for the night. Castiel picked up on the fact that Dean seemed quiet all of a sudden, it was strange considering the party went extremely well. He'll just have to ask him about it when Bobby isn't within earshot because it must be something private if he's not just saying it as soon as his friends leave.

They stay up late cleaning up and the minute Bobby goes to bed, that's when Castiel pulls the teen close to him. "Something bothering you baby?" his fingers run through his hair.

Dean still looks visibly upset by the news he got, "Robin thinks she's pregnant-" and instantly he's released. "It's not mine you idiot-" he deadpans. "She has a boyfriend you know-"

Castiel nods in his own humiliation, "I'm sorry-" his arms wrap around his love again. 

"Mhm, thought you trusted me asshole-" regardless of the playful insult his stepfather remains serious about what he's been told. "I'm gonna take her to get a test tomorrow, just to be sure-"

Castiel looks concerned, "Shouldn't her mother be helping her with his?" there's a pause. "Or her boyfriend?" another pause. "I mean, why do _you_ have to take responsibility for this problem?"

Dean frowns, "You're fucking jerk-" and goes to his bedroom with the man following closely behind him. "She's the first friend I made here and I'm not gonna let her do this alone-" now he's sitting on his bed with a playboy in his lap. 

"Baby, I like Robin-" sits down on the edge of the bed, taking the playboy away from him and setting it on the nightstand. "I just worry that she's going to get you involved in her drama-"

Dean scoffs in disbelief at how cold he can be sometimes, "It's not drama, Cas. It's her friggin life were talking about here, she just wants my support-" there's a moment of silence. "Poor girl, must be scared to death right now-"

Castiel nods with a submissive sigh because his love was going to win this one too, "If Robin needs anything-" he grabs hold of the teens hand to show support. "Tell her she can count on me too-"

"Thanks, Cas-" a smile forms on his lips. "Maybe you're not a total ass after all-" 

They make out on the porch like teen lovers before Castiel really has to go home in order to get enough sleep for the following work day.

In the morning Dean wakes up really late because he's completely forgotten all about Robin and her _problem._ It's not until he's sitting down for breakfast in front of the television and the news of a missing _baby_ comes on, that's when it all comes flooding back and he's rushing to get himself dressed. 

After having sped all the way to the diner and finally arriving at almost noon, his eyes quickly land on a pale and sickly looking Robin. Quickly, Dean goes over to her and is asking her what's wrong and if she's okay. Clearly his big brother mode has been activated and will remain active for some time to come, nine months perhaps.

Robin looks up at him from where she's sitting on a stool, "I don't feel good-"

Dean helps her stand up and wraps an arm around her when she leans into him for comfort. "Shh, it's okay-" 

The drive to the drugstore was extremely silent and when he looks over at her, she in fact did look very sick. Dean hopes she's just got a cold coming on or something, hopes there's another explanation for her period being late. There has to be, she's just too damn young to be pregnant. In almost no time at all, they're at the drugstore and Dean is helping her walk inside.

"Why is there like-" his eyes are looking at all the pink and blue boxes of pee sticks. "A million of these?" 

Dean eventually ends up buying her a pink one since it seemed to be the most popular kind and they're off to her house but not before stopping on the way for some fast food. It's like a switch had flipped because as soon as Robin begins to chomp down on some fries on the ride home, she looks more lively and the color has returned to her face.

They eat in her bedroom like friends do and she's instantly back to her bubbly self. "Thanks, Dean-" she blushes. "I felt so bad earlier-" then there's some awkwardness between them due to this specific situation.

Dean takes a sip of his soda before speaking, "Guess we gotta take the test now-" and they both sort of giggle because she will be the only one taking the test. Yet, he kind of wants to try it to see what it says just because he's silly like that.

After they have _both_ taken their pregnancy tests, things get a little awkward again as they sit on the bathroom floor next to each other. Robin leans in and whispers a secret into his ear and what he learns has his interest peeked instantly. It wasn't something he was expecting to hear, at least not at a time like this.

Dean looks over at the water faucet above the tub, "You do _that?"_ and licks his lips because they're suddenly dry. "What does it feel like?" of course he's curious and makes a mental note to fucking try that at some point.

Robin nods while covering her mouth because she can't believe she just said that to Dean Winchester of all people. After a few minutes Dean checks his pee stick first, it was obviously negative but they had a good laugh over it either way. Robin looks at her stick and starts crying instantly because it was very damn _positive,_ who knew two little pink lines could change your life forever.

Dean has his arm around her, "It's gonna be okay-" and is doing his best to comfort. "I'm gonna be here, you know- she looks up at him. "If he bails on you and the baby-" and there's something about the way he says _the baby_ that makes her feel butterflies.

Robin blushes all the while holding onto his arm like a little sister might do in this situation. "Dean, I'm scared-" again, the water works come and the elder teen begins working on helping her off the floor as carefully as he can manage because there's a little baby inside of her. 

"You're gonna be okay-" he hushes softly, helping the girl to her pink bedroom. "Lay down, I'll bring you something to drink-"

When Dean comes back with a glass of water, she takes it thankfully and smiles shyly up at him. "Can you stay here?" takes a sip of the room temperature water. "Just until my mom gets home from work-"

Dean softly says "Sure sweetheart-" because he can't say no to a girl whose just had her entire world rocked and not in the fun way.

The two teens make themselves comfortable on the bed for the next few hours and manage to fall asleep together. It's purely innocent and Dean stays with her for a long time, though most of the time had been spent sleeping. It's not until Metallica blares loudly in the quiet bedroom that they both startle and Dean looks at the missed call on his phone. 

"I gotta go-" he leans over and gives her a goodbye hug.

Robin seems to know that it was Castiel who was calling, "How are things going with him?"

Dean is working on lacing up his boots before he heads outside, "I'm happy-" then hesitates because he's going to admit something he probably shouldn't be saying."He wants to get married and I'm scared as shit to get hitched-" more hesitation. "I never thought about getting married, the whole thing is weird-"

Robin being the supportive friend she is says, "But whyyy-" and sits up on the bed. "I like him, he's so nice-" a moment passes. "And he's so cute, for an old guy-"

The elder teen laughs and throws one of her stuffed animals at her, "Shut up-" it leads to more laughter and ultimately a pillow fight. 

Dean would never admit it but he enjoys being Robins _girlfriend_ because he can be himself. With this girl, he can be his dorky and kind of gay self and he's grateful for the fact that he doesn't have to hide. Kevin accepts him for who he is and he knows this now after telling him about his relationship with his stepfather but Ash is a different story. 

When the teen gets back to Bobby's, he packs himself a small bag with some essentials because he was going to spend the night next door. He's eighteen now and no one can tell him not to do so, not even his dear uncle. As he stomps heavily towards the front door, the man grunts at the kitchen table and it happens to catch his attention. Hell, it was meant to.

"Hey-" he walks over to him, "I'm gonna sleep at Cas' tonight, that cool Bobby?"

Bobby looks up at his nephew with tears in his eyes, "Yea it's cool-" 

Dean groans before leaning down and hugging him, "Don't cry-" his own throat tightens up. "I'm not moving out yet, it's just one night-" the man is in full tears now, shockingly. "Come on, stop it-" his hand is rubbing up and down his back soothingly.

After a moment Bobby regains composure and tells him to _scram_ before he gives him an ass whooping. Of course he never does go through with it, it's just something that's said to make his nephew laugh because he's just a big old teddy bear deep down who could never hurt a damn soul. 

Castiel had a hunch that his young lover was getting cold feet about moving in together as a couple and getting married. It was all so _permanent_ and that in particular seemed to scare him something terribly even though he would never come out and say it because he didn't want to hurt his feelings. 

Of course he's going to be patient with Dean but they're going to have to work through everything at some point. He's technically an adult now but he's still so young, it's obvious that time is needed to feel ready and make those important life decisions.

Castiel is drinking his morning coffee at the kitchen table one morning when his love stomps over to him, clearly in a rush before school. "Good morning baby-" a very impatient hand is held out for him to place something in. 

Dean wiggles his fingers expectantly, "I need money-" there's silence between them. "Well, more money-" his hand is still open in front of the man. "I cleaned the house-" he tries again. "And I let you fuck my ass whenever you want-" their eyes meet. "Cash, now."

Castiel laughs and gets up to grab his work bag from the bedroom. "No, now stop being a spoiled brat-" there's a moment of silence while looking through his things to make sure he's got everything that is needed for the day. "I didn't raise you to be like this-" 

The teen crosses his arms at his chest and follows him around with the all too famous bitch face, "Are you sure you didn't?" the man turns around and simply gives him a goodbye kiss. "I hate you-" the words sound so defeated coming from him right then.

"You really don't know how good you have it with me-" now he's a little angry because the teen sounds extremely ungrateful. "Why do you even need so much money for? I pay for everything, even your truck-"

Dean looks away with guilt because he does have a brand new truck, thanks to this man. "I still need money for gas-" 

Castiel heads for the front door with the teen still following closely behind him like a puppy, "Here's forty-" and two bills are slapped onto the small end table near the front door. "If you want more money then you need to earn it-" 

Dean yanks on his stepfathers arm to keep him from walking out the front door. "Cas, please-" his eyes are pleading. "Just give it to me-"

His face softens now because he never could resist those pretty green eyes. "Baby, answer me this and I'll give it to you." there's a pause. "Where does all the money I give you go?"

Dean looks away, "Forget it-"

Castiel adjusts the strap of his very heavy bag on his shoulder before exiting the home because it was clear they weren't going to get anywhere at the moment. He'd been concerned for about a week or two about where Dean's money had been going because he's suddenly spending way too much time with Ash. The thought that he might be doing drugs again has crossed his mind a few times.

Maybe it's just paranoia but it's something to consider, what else could Dean be buying with his money? It's not like he's into the latest trends, he doesn't like _anything_ and there's only a limited amount of playboys and car magazines the teenager can get his hands on.

When he comes home that night, it's to find the moody teenager laying on the couch while playing video games. Dean was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and simply glances over at the man walk in when he does so. Clearly some tension over this mornings disagreement over money was still in the air because he hadn't gotten the money he asked for.

Castiel sits down next to him and leans back with an exhausted sigh. "Long day-" he begins. "Still mad at me?" his eyes are fixed on his young lovers exposed skin because it's like a fucking invitation. 

Dean shrugs, his fingers are clicking away on the buttons of the remote controller frantically. It's not until a hand is rubbing up and down his thigh that he pauses his game and sets the controller on the coffee table because he's not about to pass up on wherever the hell this is going. He may be pissed about not getting his way this time but the mans hand on him is weakening his resolve.

"Still love me?" his tone is quiet, sultry even.

Dean inhales a shaky breath because a large hand is groping him over the material of his boxers. "Maybe-" his voice sounds tight, almost like he was holding back a moan. After a minute of the rough groping, "Fuck-" he moans finally and completely submits to the touch.

Castiel pulls the teens boxers down to his knees, exposing his cock. "Good boy-" his voice is a raspy murmur before taking in his lover into his mouth.

Dean whimpers desperately underneath the mans torturous pleasure that is on the cusp of being too much and not enough. "I'm gonna-" he swallows dryly, his own heart thumping loudly in his ears. "Gonna _come-"_ and he lets go, moaning cutely with every wave of the orgasm as it comes. 

Castiel keeps sucking him down until he's a broken mess because of him, only then does he kiss up his body to get to his lips. They shared such a passionate kiss that the two of them wanted to have sex but Dean was a little too spent and sensitive to even try for it. Castiel understood and just kept kissing him softly once they made their way from the couch to the bedroom. 

Eventually Dean looks up at his stepfather as they lay in bed together, "Sorry I was a bitch this mornin'-" and the man says nothing about it. "I just needed the money-" they make eye contact. "Bobby's in trouble-" his stepfather isn't getting it just yet so he clarifies. "Financially, I mean-"

Castiel nods because he already knew this but just how much trouble the teens uncle was in was a mystery. "So you give him the money I give you?"

Dean hesitates before answering, "Not exactly-" looks away. "I buy the groceries and pay off a few bills before he gets the chance to see em' coming in the mail-" they make eye contact. "Being a grown up sucks-" there's a certain twinge of sadness there, like getting a taste of adult responsibility was making him think twice about growing up as if he had the option not to.

"That's kind of you-" he sighs, "But it's not on you to take care of everything yourself-" there's a pause. "You're eighteen but that doesn't mean you need to jump in and take on more responsibility than you're able to handle-" 

The teen _hmm's_ in response a little pensively because he disagrees, the situation sucks ass but like hell will he just sit around and watch his uncle drown in debt. There's a comfortable silence between them as they snuggle under the covers before Castiel speaks up again.

"It's a big load to handle everything on your own, Dean-" there's rustling under the blankets as they move slightly. "I'm here, you should've told me sooner-" his love begins giggling next to him, just a bit though. "What?" 

Dean can't keep a straight face as he says, "You said load-"

Castiel rolls his eyes, "I see you haven't grown up entirely just yet-" and still his young love is trying not laugh at his side. He must really want to ruin the mood because he mentions a more serious subject. "I need to know, is Robin pregnant after all?" 

Instantly his laughter dies, "She's pregnant-" and looks sad for his friend. "But at least I'm not-" his stepfather gives him a confused look. "I took a test too-" more confusion, with a look that looks a look like _what the hell is wrong with you_. "Hey, the box came with two tests-" 

It was Castiel's turn to start laughing, the image of Dean Winchester taking a pregnancy test just for fun was too much. They giggle like children for a while before the reality of the situation hits but it's Dean who calms down first and looks saddened again over his poor friend. 

"I think she's gonna be alone in this-"

Castiel wraps his arms around his love, "She won't be-" there's a pause. "Make sure to let her know that she's got you-" the teen looks up and into his eyes. "Us, I mean. She's got us both-"

Dean smiles, "Thanks Cas-"

These new turn of events were sudden and very surprising for Dean because his friend who is even younger than him will be having a baby. He knows her life will change drastically soon but all he can think about is beating up the bastard who did this to her. 

As for Bobby, at least Castiel knows how bad things are these days with money and maybe they can work out something together in order to help ease some of the burden. Will he accept the help? That's unlikely, the son of a bitch is too proud to get a handout. 

The future, that's still a question mark and Dean is on the fence about moving forward. There's no doubt in his mind that he loves Castiel deeply but that doesn't mean that he's thrilled to take the next step because it makes things so _real._

Marriage scares the shit out of him because even that doesn't keep two people together and happy forever, he knows this first hand because his parents sure didn't set a good example of what happy relationships are.

"Dean?" he whispers, "You asleep?"

The teen doesn't answer him so Castiel assumes that he is and simply holds him against his chest while he does some thinking of his own. His love for Dean Winchester has grown over the years and there's nothing more he wants than to marry him, to make things official but his love doesn't seem willing just yet.

There's this uneasy feeling that lingers inside of him because Dean was so sure about a life with him, about moving in and getting hitched as soon as possible. It wasn't long ago that he was in hysterics because they weren't married yet, what _changed?_


	75. Since Day One

It was Valentines Day and Castiel had decided that this year should be memorable, it was special after all because this year would be the first in which they could openly celebrate as a couple. Also they were officially _together,_ no doubts about it whatsoever for once.

Now that they didn't have to hide their relationship status, they could really enjoy the romantic holiday and Castiel was going to start it with a bang.

Even though he's perfectly clear on Dean's wishes about not wanting to dress up and go to some dumb restaurant for dinner, he can't just let the day go by without doing _something_ for the person who means the most to him.

Castiel took off early from work and drove to the store to get some much needed supplies for the big night. Though as the hours go on, his nerves are intensifying and no he is not going to fucking propose because he's already been there and done that. The reason for his anxiety was something else, a romantic getaway that was planned on a sudden whim.

These plans weren't discussed prior buying _plane tickets_ and this is why he's freaking out about it. The teen has never expressed wanting to travel, but who wouldn't want to?

A little before five in the afternoon the house is ready for his love to come home to and hopefully be pleased by what he has done. There's a slight chance he will be mocked for this, for being so cheesy and cliche over the holiday but he doesn't care to be ridiculed, not even the slightest bit.

The butterflies in his stomach are eating him alive as he paces around the candle lit space and suddenly the burgundy dress shirt he threw on purposefully for the occasion seems like a bad idea because he's clearly sweating right through it.

Tires screech just outside to signal that Dean had just arrived and now there's no time for Castiel to change into something he won't sweat through. It's not clear why he's so nervous about tonight because he's already done the proposing but even so, asking Dean Winchester to go on a trip with him is equality terrifying because the teen dislikes _everything._

Dean barges in through the door with a huff due to the extremely cold weather outside and his eyes widen in surprise momentarily as he takes in the view. The last time the house looked like this, the man fucking proposed to him. It scared the holy hell out of him the first time and hopes this isn't a repeat of the occasion. 

After setting his backpack on the floor by the door he comments, "You know this is a fire hazard right?" 

Of course the teen couldn't just be happy with the gesture that was made just for him but it would be extremely out of character for him to not make any remarks at all. The rose petals thrown all over the hardwood floors is overkill but Dean gets a good chuckle over it as he explores what other surprises may be waiting for him.

"You gonna propose again, Cas?" he mocks sweetly before walking down the hall to the bedroom with his stepfather following behind. "Cause I already said yes, you know-"

They both enter the dimly lit room to find the last little surprise on the bed which of course was covered in even more rose petals. The teen walks up to the bed and picks up an envelope that no doubt contained a Valentines Day card and looks inside to find said card and two plane tickets to Mexico. Fucking _Mexico.._

"The fuck is this?" he turns around to face the man who is now standing way too close and towering over him. "Cas!" he smacks him on the chest with the tickets. "What the fuck are these?" he's holding them up for him to see as if he wasn't the one who bought them. 

Castiel can't help but laugh, "I'm taking you to mexico-" and steals the tickets before his love damages them because they weren't cheap. "You're always watching novelas and I thought you might be interested in going-"

Dean swallows nervously, "I want to go but-" whines softly in his throat. "Why did you book flights though?" it really sounds like he's hiding something here. 

"We've never gone anywhere together and I wanted-" it dawns on him. "Wait, baby are you afraid of flying?" the teen shrugs dumbly, trying to remain cool. "Awh baby-" he coos mockingly but ever so lovingly. "I didn't know that-" his arms wrap around him. "But then again how would I when we have never traveled together-"

Dean pushes him away with a pissed off look but it was that _cute_ pissed off look he gets when he's angry and scared at the same time. "Do we gotta friggin' fly?" 

Castiel sighs heavily before putting the tickets away in his work bag for safe keeping in the meantime, "I'll try to cancel our flights-" then pulls his love close to him. "How about I get us some bus tickets instead, would you go away with me to Mexico then?"

There's some hesitation from the upset teen. "Baby, I need a vacation-" kisses his love in attempt to sweeten him to the idea. "Somewhere warm-" another soft kiss, "And I want you with me-" another few kisses, all of them soft and sweet. "How does that sound?" still no real response. "We'll go on a bus, okay? No flying-"

Dean nods eagerly because hell yes he does want to go to Mexico. "Thanks sugar daddy" so many images of all the dirty things they can get up to at a resort are flashing behind his eyelids every time he blinks.

Castiel rolls his eyes, "Mhm and what are you going to do when I get old and die?" maybe this was way too morbid for the current moment but it's only meant to be taken lightheartedly.

"Live off your savings of course-" he leans up to kiss the man a few times on his dry lips. "You know I'm just messin' with you, Cas-" then sighs longingly because their kisses were always breathtaking.

They make out like shy teenagers for a while, among their cheesy candles and rose petals that made them both feel like they were in some kind of cheap porno until Dean suddenly pulls away. Something came to mind for the first time in the years he's known this man and it was the realization that would day he would _die,_ probably way before him.

"Son of a bitch, you're gonna die-" he stands up and begins pacing around the room a little bit. "You're gonna die first and I'm gonna be all alone, for the rest of my life-"

Castiel has to grab him and pull him close before he has another episode, "Shh-" then kisses him gently to distract him from the cold hard truth that would be his reality in the distant future. "So, Mexico-" he says before reaching towards the center of the bed where he placed a box of chocolates that he'd also gotten for his love. "You excited?"

Dean steals the box of chocolates because they were for him anyway and indulges in a few of them with a sad far away look in his eyes. The question he's asked about their upcoming trip goes unanswered, eventually what was said is forgotten about and they have a wonderful and very romantic evening.

The night started off with a very non romantic meal of burgers and fries which is exactly what Dean would have wanted. Their desert of course was a home made cherry pie that they followed up with an entire bottle of wine and even more chocolate.

The wine alone put Dean over the edge and made him so tipsy that he was giggling over ever single word Castiel said, regardless if it was funny or not. When the bottle of wine is empty and on the floor somewhere in their bedroom much later that night, they move on to tender love making that lasts for hours. 

Castiel does his very best to show Dean how loved he is and he does this by kissing every inch of his bare skin one they are both nude. He touches and caresses everywhere his hands can reach.

No words are spoken while they have sex and there's no need for them now. Their eyes tell each other everything they need to know and every moan expresses how good they feel at the present moment.

The teen loses it when the older man licks and kisses at his nipples, enjoying the sensation on such a sensitive part of him. When the back of his knees are kissed softly, it makes him whimper and sigh. The amount of love he feels tonight is a bit overwhelming but damn if it doesn't feel amazing and wants _more_ of it.

Castiel takes it slow and it's the only reason they both lasted for hours without getting to the finish line but when they do- it's fireworks on the fourth of July. It's Christmas morning and it's every fucking holiday you can imagine.

They lay together in their aftermath, the sheets somehow ended up on the floor. With nothing to cover up with, the couple is extremely exposed and vulnerable. 

"I've loved you since day one-" he murmurs against the teens puffy kissed out lips right before the sun begins to flood in through the curtains. "I'll love you until my last day-"

Dean blinks to get rid of what is threatening to become tears in his eyes, surely it was going to happen one day but he never thought about it. The man seems so invincible, It's hard to think of him not being there someday. Even if it was many years away.

"Yea-" he sniffles, "I love you too, Cas-"

It's been almost a week since they were supposed to go on their romantic trip but Dean being too scared to fly delayed their plans. Luckily those plane tickets were refunded just in time and for a minor fee of a few hundred dollars but Castiel was going to keep that little piece of information to himself. There was no use in making Dean feel bad about not flying.

Castiel got his hands on two bus tickets and scheduled their trip down to the very last detail, from where they would be staying and certain _activities_ they would be participating in when they arrived at their destination. He's a grown man and so is Dean, well _sort of_ but that wasn't going to stop him from assuming that they would be spending most of their time having sex behind closed doors.

Their travels were going well or as well as they could go when traveling with the ever so moody Dean Winchester. The teen must have complained about having to pee or having to do that other thing that's more embarrassing to mention which only made him laugh. It was funny until Castiel was the one who had to not only pee but do that other thing as well and it only added to the torture that was traveling by bus.

Almost two days of being on the road and tons of bickering later, they finally arrived at their designated bus station. The not so happy couple step off and rush to the bathroom to freshen up and take care of important _business._ If Castiel hadn't watched him grow up and seen the bad and the ugly parts of him then maybe doing that _thing_ just one stall away from the man would have been more worrisome.

Castiel on the other hand couldn't really go so comfortably until his teen love left the bathrooms and finally gave him some privacy. When they meet up at the terminal, Castiel is apologetic for taking so long and Dean is not having it.

"I don't know why you can't take a shit in front of me-" there's no humor there, only annoyance because he's hungry and exhausted. "Everybody poops, Cas-" and he's already walking off, towards the exit doors with his stepfather rushing to catch up with their bags in tow.

Thank the heavens above because there was an available taxi parked right outside the bus station and they both sigh in relief before climbing in. Soon they arrive to their _fancy_ resort and it was beyond clear that Castiel went all out for this vacation. Dean was grateful for it even if he didn't say it right then because he was merely taking in all of his surroundings in somewhat of a culture shock.

It's been a very long two days of traveling and all they both really want is a shower and some good food. At the moment it's pretty obvious that they are hating on each other because they've sat in a confined space for too long.

Dean gives Castiel mean looks as they check into the resort because he's so annoyed by every single thing and Castiel is no better when throwing the same look back at him. It's like they're already married and it's so hilarious, may the Lord be with them when they actually get hitched. 

The card key gets declined about three times before finally allowing entry into their room, that seems to worsen their already foul moods. The teen shoves the older man out of the way in order to get in first because he's calling dibs on the shower.

Castiel is desperate for this trip to go well so he allows Dean the first shower and decides to try for a nap. The bed at the center of the room was more than big enough for the two of them to sleep in without kicking each other off of it. 

Though it's proving to be impossible to get any rest with the teen groaning obnoxiously in the bathroom due to the amazing water pressure. Castiel lets him ramble on about it but eventually he has enough of it and stands up from the bed to knock on the bathroom door. 

"Dean-" knocks loudly on the door, "It's my turn-" knocks even louder in order to be heard.

The door opens and a very damp Dean Winchester is standing in the doorway, fully nude. "Why don't you just get in with me-" the door opens wider, it's an invitation. "So we don't fight about it-"

Castiel begins stripping out of his clothing right away and barges into the steam filled bathroom. They check out each others naked bodies for a few seconds before they close the space between them in a heated kiss. It's not clear when they made it under the spray of water but now they're both soaking wet and caressing each other lovingly.

"Mmm-" he moans while they tongue kiss, it felt so good to be pressed up against another wet body. "You're right, it does feel good-" and he's referring to the water pressure, among other things.

Dean pulls away, his hands roaming the strong chest in front of his face due to the height difference. "You're so sexy, Cas-" he's looking up through wet lashes. "Like, so fucking sexy-"

Castiel blushes, "You're just saying that-" that hand that was rubbing his chest is now wrapped around his cock. "Ohh, Dean-" the breathy moan escapes him. "You're so good to me-" his forehead comes to rest on the teens freckled shoulder as he receives the best hand job of his life. 

After the relaxed duo have showered and dressed in some vacation appropriate clothing, they head down the street to the nearest restaurant. It was nice to see everyone dressed in summer clothes due to the very warm weather. The couple seem to be in better spirits now that they've had some time to cool off and it's obvious by the way they look at each other when they think the other isn't aware.

It's not long before they're seated side by side at a table next to the window and it was great because now they're able to people watch while they eat. Dean was fascinated by the difference in culture and liked seeing all the different kinds of tourists walking by outside. He must have been lost in his thoughts or simply mesmerized by his surroundings because he forgot about his older boyfriend for a moment.

Castiel wraps an arm around him and leans in to kiss near his ear, "I miss you-" he whispers before nibbling on the teens earlobe.

Dean startles and looks up at his stepfather, "Sorry-" then laughs softly. "It's just so different here, just taking it all in I guess-" his eyes scan the restaurant to see if anyone had seen the man next to him biting his earlobe but no one seemed to care which was beyond awesome. "Why don't you do that again-" of course he wants the guy to nibble on him again, it was pretty hot.

Castiel smiles before leaning in and doing it again, gently. "You like that baby?" the teen almost moans at his side. "We can do more of this when we get back to our room, okay?" 

Dean nods shyly and mutters a polite _Thank you_ to the waiter than just brought over their food. They eat in comfortable silence, mumbling something to each other every now and then. Although the food was a little different and Dean wasn't exactly sure what most of it was, it was still very good.

After their dinner, Castiel takes the lead and orders some drinks with Dean's being alcohol free because they're in public. They sip on their umbrella drinks and exchange sweet smiles for a while before the teen begins stumbling over his words a little more often than normal.

Castiel frowns in concern, "Are you okay?" then takes a sip of his lovers drink in curiosity and coughs. "They put alcohol in yours by mistake-" but his love looks so happy and carefree that it has him laughing. "Baby, are you sure you're okay?" he says between fits of their combined laughter.

Dean slurps up the last of the slushy drink through the straw and burps so loudly that people look their way. "Sorry-" he covers his mouth but no one cares. "Man, this place is awesome-" it was so refreshing to him to simply be somewhere where no one gave a shit what you did or _who_ you were with.

"Alright baby-" he stands and moves to help his drunk boyfriend stand up, "Think it's time to get some rest-" but the teen isn't budging yet, just pouting because he really wants to stay. "Fine, just behave-" 

Dean pulls the man down next to him and wraps his arms around his neck, "What's this music?" 

Castiel looks around at the nearly empty restaurant, "Some kind of Spanish music, I'm not sure-" he's almost hypnotized by those tipsy green eyes looking up at him so submissively. 

Dean leans forward to plant a chaste kiss on him. "Well, it's makin' me horny-" the confession makes them both laugh softly while blood rushes down south.

A few passionate closed mouth kisses are shared before the fast paced Spanish music has them rushing back so they can get it on. Fortunately the card key worked on the first swipe and they fall into the room, laughing it off before climbing onto the bed in order to get things started.

Dean is tipsy but still manages to get nervous for some reason, as if it were his first time. Being with Castiel is so intimidating at times because he's a fucking _God_ in bed, knows exactly what he's doing and never does the exact same thing. It's always different every time they have sex, hence the nerves- not knowing what to expect.

"Shh, baby-" he murmurs gently into the teens ear, licking his earlobe with the tip of his tongue. "We've done this plenty of times, you're okay-"

Dean shivers, his hands now tugging on his stepfathers belt. "Take these off-" he asks quietly, "I _need_ you-" his voice cracks.

Of course the man obliges instantly to his request and soon his pants are dropped to the floor, pooling around his ankles. "God, it's amazing-" his eyes are locked on the cock standing at attention just for him. "I love you-" the words are said while looking down at _it._

Castiel laughs and tilts the teens head upwards by hooking a finger under his chin, "I'm up here baby-" 

Dean whines before looking back down at the beauty that was his stepfather, "I know but fuck-" another whine. "I love _him_ -" 

Castiel almost snarls like a wolf before pushing his love onto the bed and climbing over him, peppering small kisses all over his face and down his neck. Those soft sighs and whimpers were the fuel to his fire, egging him on to see in what other ways he could make his young lover lose his mind. There's always something new to try and it's always fun because it's with Dean.

Soon they're both fully nude and kissing each other pretty much everywhere they could. The eager teen can't stop the pretty moans that leave his parted lips when the man enters him slowly, burying himself deeply inside the familiar warmth that always pulls him in deeper as if welcoming him home. 

"Agh-" he groans loudly, relishing in the tightness and warmth that was his boyfriend.

Dean whimpers in response, struggling to adjust to the girth inside him, "Fuck-" another whimper. It does hurt a little but it feels good at the same time, it's a full and hot feeling that's coursing through him. It always feels like too much but never enough.

_"Mmph-"_ his bottom lip is caught between his teeth now that the pace is speeding up. " _Ugh-"_

Castiel buries in even deeper and it's causing his love some discomfort but the more it _burns,_ the closer to climax he becomes. "Come for me baby-" he says tightly before groaning in his own pleasure. _"Agh,_ love this fucking ass-" one hand reaches around to grab a handful of it.

That seems to push him over the edge because Dean is coming now, prettily moaning his way through his orgasm. Castiel comes along with him and keeps pumping into him until they're both doing these choked moaning sounds. It's only then do they realize that the headboard had been banging repeatedly against the wall and hope that whoever is in the next room forgives them for it.

Dean speaks first, "Shit-" 

Castiel sighs loudly before rolling onto his back and bringing the teen along with him, holding him against his chest. "That was-" smiles. "Intense-"

"My poor ass-" he whimpers in discomfort, soon a large hand is groping it lovingly as if it would ease the pain. "Yea, thanks-" his eyes roll sarcastically, still there's a little smile on his face. 

After some time of quiet snuggling Dean mumbles sleepily, "Hmm, huggy bear-" before his grip on the man tightens. Castiel smiles fondly at the new nickname before falling asleep with his favorite boy in his arms.

The following day Castiel cuts Dean's slumber a little short because there was a pool at their resort and he wanted to get in a few hours of swimming. Dean not only bitched about the chosen activity for the day but also the swim trunks his stepfather picked out for him. The word he used to describe them was _dorky_ at the very best but even so, he put them on just to make the man happy.

Dean flinches when Castiel grabs hold of his hand as they make their way outside to the pool and it's clear that he has to remember that they're both on vacation and no one knows them. No one here would even bat an eye at their vast age difference because by the looks of it, they aren't the only _diverse_ couple around here. 

Once outside in the pool area Dean sits down on one of the reclined beach chairs after his stepfather laid out a towel for him and closes his eyes to simply take in the sun. He really never thought he would become one of _those_ people who laid around getting a tan while their older boyfriend is more than happy to just worship the ground they walk on.

Dean opens his eyes after a moment to look over at Castiel who was eyeing his exposed body pretty damn hard. Come on, the man looked hungry for him and he was beyond loving the attention. 

"What-" he plays innocent, "Oh-" smiles. "You like this?" his hand runs down his body as if trying to seduce him but in a playful way.

Castiel inhales deeply, eyes following where the teens hand is going. "I do-" then reaches over to pull out a bottle of sunscreen from _their_ bag. "Let me-" his sentence goes unfinished before already lathering up his lovers body with the white substance.

"You're very pretty, Dean-" it was impossible not to sound predatory while saying that. "Your skin is always so soft-" it's also impossible to resist from biting his lip while touching the teen.

Dean is blushing so much that it looks like he's gotten a sunburn in less than twenty minutes of sitting out in the sun. "Thanks-" is all he says, trying to play it off like he fucking knows he's pretty and doesn't need anyone telling him so.

"Uh, Cas-" the man looks up at him, "You're kinda, _mmph_ -" the soft whimper escaped him because a large hand had gotten carried away while rubbing sunscreen on his inner thigh. 

Castiel genuinely mumbles a sorry "Sorry-" but It's not his fault that he loves Dean Winchester so damn much that no matter how much of him he has, it's never enough. "You're just so attractive-" the words are said tightly as he stuffs the bottle back into their bag. "How about we order some drinks-" anything to distract himself from his lovers beauty.

"Get me one of those iced coffee things-" the request for his drink of choice is made before putting on his stepfathers expensive sunglasses over his eyes because he's going to actually sunbathe for the first time in his entire life. "Oh, and tell em' to put that whipped cream shit on top. Thanks-" it's so funny how easily it is for him to slip into diva mode.

Castiel presses a chaste kiss to his lovers puffy pink lips before going to grab their drinks and maybe something to snack on. The view he returns to almost twenty minutes later is something he wasn't expecting to ever see, not in a million years.

_His_ boyfriend was chatting with another very much older man than himself and it pisses him off instantly. There's no way this is fucking happening, not on their first romantic getaway.

"Sweetheart-" he says lovingly before sitting down next to the teen on the beach chair.

Castiel gives him a lingering kiss on the lips and hands him his drink afterwards, It was a little bit of a show for their third wheel. "So-" his eyes intensely lock on the man trying to cut in."You just go around talking to teenage boys?"

The much older man becomes flustered before walking away quickly, the sound of wet flip flops squelching noisily on the ground. 

Dean leans back and pulls _his_ man on top of him playfully by the collar of his shirt shirt. "That was pretty hot-" exhales dreamily. "You get all jealous when you think someone's tryin' to steal me from you-" they bump noses accidentally before kissing a few times.

Castiel is a little pensive when they pull away but they still manage to peacefully enjoy their drinks with some chips and guacamole. It's nice to see him get jealous but he should really put the man out of his misery so he decides to tell him the truth.

"You know, that guy was just asking me if I was a model-" his boyfriend clears his throat abruptly, not expecting this whatsoever. "What, you don't think I could be a model?"

Castiel swallows the food in his mouth, "Of course I think you could be a model-" and yes, Dean really fucking could be and the look on his face is one of consideration. "Don't tell me you want to-" there's a shrug from his young love. "You want to be a model?"

Dean lifts the sunglasses up in order to make eye contact. "I dunno-" its so obvious that the idea has been put into his mind now. "Would you take pictures of me?" the request takes them both by surprise. "No one has to see em, but I think it could be fun-" 

Castiel kicks back the last of his drink before answering, "Well, you do like taking pictures-" and they both know just what _kind_ of pictures.

The teen blushes and readjusts the sunglasses over his eyes to hide the fact that he's so fucking _gay_ for this man. "Yea, whatever-" the words are cold, bored even, but Castiel knows him too well and laughs about the whole thing.

After a while Castiel revisits the topic, "That guy is a perv Dean-" the teen looks over at him. "Probably wanted you to do some kiddie porn-" that makes him laugh. "I'm serious, you can't trust a random guy who walks up to you and asks you if you're a model-"

Dean snorts, "I don't know why you're being a bitch about it, you like kiddie porn too-" his stepfather gets up and walks away from the conversation all of a sudden. "I was kidding!" he doesn't come back, "Cas!" his hands are thrown up in the air in frustration because it really was just a damn joke. "You gotta loosen up, we're on vacation!" 

Castiel waves him off and gets into the pool like a freaking sore loser but even so, he's got to follow _his_ loser. Dean hauls himself off the chair and goes over to shyly step into the pool and suddenly feels like all eyes are on him, even if they weren't. Since he doesn't know how to swim, he simply makes his way over to the man and thank goodness the water wasn't too deep.

"Cas-" his arms wrap around him, "I love you but learn to take a joke, yea?" his tone of voice is so soft and sweet that he's forgiven for the comment instantly. "So-" they kiss once, "Did bring your camera?" leans in to whisper in his ear, "Cause I wanna make porn with you-"

Castiel pulls away with total and complete shock in his face, "You want to do _what?"_

"Come on-" he's speaking so low that no one would be able to hear the kind of statement he's making. "I want you to record us fucking- " his stepfather is thinking about it, not convinced or maybe not wanting to admit that he'd so love to do something like this.

"Don't you think it would be hot?" leans in to kiss the man a few times, "Fuck me on camera, please daddy-"

Castiel has to restrain himself from doing just that right then and there in front of everyone. "You win-" they kiss once. "And you understand that it's only for _our_ viewing pleasure, don't you?" 

"Obviously-" he looks into blue eyes with such intensity and passion because it's all they can do where they are. "We can watch it when were too old to fuck-" 

Castiel swallows down his emotions, "Are you still going to love me when I'm old?" there's a pause. "I'm going to get there and pretty soon-" so dramatic, as if turning forty is the end of the road for everyone.

Dean frowns for a moment because he does not want to think about this again because it fucking scares the shit out of him. "I'm always gonna think you're sexy-" it was the truth, no lies there. "You're gonna be like uh, what's that guys name-" thinks hard about it. "Oh, George Clooney. Yea-" 

Castiel can't help but laugh, feeling a little bit better about their situation. "I'll take that as a compliment-" they embrace in the water playfully, swaying a little. "Thank you baby, you have a way of making me feel better-" there's a few kisses shared between them, completely oblivious to anyone around them.

When they pull apart, "Well then baby. Ready to get fucked on camera?" there's a stern but arousing manner in the way this is asked.

Dean nods quickly and they sort of quietly agree to leave without being so obvious about where they were going together because they were somewhat in the presence of actual _children_. The teen is the one who climbs out of the pool first and fast walks, passing the other tourists as they enjoy themselves.

Every now and then he looks over his should to see that he in fact was being followed by his stepfather. The man looked so eager to dick him down, it was priceless.

As soon as they reach the privacy of the hallway that leads to their specific room, Castiel's hands are everywhere. I mean _everywhere_ , from squeezing that plush bottom to feeling how hard he is between his legs. 

After stumbling into the room and locking the door behind them, they part.

Castiel mutters, "So fucking gorgeous-" while cupping the teens face in his hands and kissing him again.

Somehow they make it to the bed without really looking where they were going, soon clothes are being thrown onto the floor. It was pretty hot and heavy for a few minutes there until they pull away to take it slow or else the current _activity_ won't last too long. They're looking into each other eyes intensely and pressing small kisses to each others jawlines and necks.

Castiel pauses for a brief moment, "Should I get the camera-" there's hesitation there. Of course he would love to indulge his young lovers fantasies but he's just double checking. "If anyone ever saw it, it could-"

"Just get the damn camera, you big wuss-" 

The older man gets out of bed wearing nothing but his birthday suit to go dig around his bag for his fancy camera as Dean liked calling it. Apparently Castiel thinks he's a photographer and likes snapping a whole bunch of pictures anytime they go anywhere that is even remotely exciting.

When the camera is finally found at the bottom of his bag, he retrieves it and turns around to see his muse in a wonderful position.

Castiel is a little taken aback by the breathtaking view, "Posing like that for me or the camera?" he comes close enough to stand behind him. His free hand just roaming the expanse of the teens glorious ass. "Either way, I'm a lucky man-"

Dean's losing his nerve a little bit, "Will you turn the fucking thing on already-" his ass goes up higher in the air when a large hand presses gently at the small of his back. _"Ugh,_ Cas-" it's arousing alone to know that something is about to happen. 

Castiel smacks his ass lightly before giving him an order, "Don't get me wrong-" another gentle smack. "I love the view-" there's a pause because he's really admiring what's in front of him. "But I want you on your back-" the teen quickly moves to oblige. "I enjoy seeing your pretty face when I fuck you-"

Dean blinks rapidly, blushing already and trying so badly to play it cool. "Shut up-" the words are spoken softly. 

It's still early in the day the blinds in their room are half open so all the natural sunlight is flooding in. The greens of Dean's eyes were brighter than Castiel has ever seen them, not to mention all of his freckles were more prominent on his sun kissed skin that the light was making to look so very milky white.

"What the fuck, dude-" of course he's confused because the man is just glaring at him.

Castiel blinks and snaps out of it, "I'm sorry baby-" of course he'd gotten completely mesmerized by the teenage beauty laying on the bed for the taking. "You're very distracting-" 

The camera ends up on the bedside table at a certain angle that should manage to catch everything they're doing in bed. Dean's nervous energy disappears once things begin to spice up again. The pace is slow which makes him moan so pretty with his beautiful eyelashes fluttering in the glow of the now late afternoon sunlight that is threatening to disappear.

"I love you-" he murmurs into the teens warm neck. "I don't know what I would do without you-" 

Dean sighs from the sheer pleasure that's building within the lower half of his body, "Me too, Cas-" a soft moan. "I'm-" another moan. "So happy-" and it sounds like he tried to swallow some emotion there. "You're like the best thing that's ever happened to me-"

Castiel pulls away and stills his movements because this sort of confession is a little odd because the teen isn't always vocal about his feelings. "You really mean that?" there's a pause. "You're not messing with me?"

Dean wraps his legs around his waist and his arms around the mans neck to keep him pressed against his body. "I love you, Cas-" his stepfathers hips begin thrusting forward gently, grazing against his prostate intentionally. _"Ugh,_ fuck-" some whimpering because he keeps stroking that sweet spot.

"You're my everything-" another moan. "You're my best friend, my boyfriend and you're even my-" another moan. "You're my _family_ -"

Castiel's movements speed up and blinks away the tears in his eyes before getting busy with just kissing his love everywhere that his lips can reach. When they climax, it's almost earth shattering and the moment they come down from the orgasm, they are both blushing and shy over the whole thing because who knows if someone heard them once again. 

The teens stomach growls loudly in the silence of their aftermath, "Can you order some food? I'm gonna take a shower-" and just like that their heart to heart is over and done with. 

Only after placing his order for some room service does he realize that the camera was still recording and it managed to catch the meaningful moment they shared. A smile forms on his face at knowing he'll be able to go back and replay that memory whenever he wanted to. They _both_ can.

Maybe Dean is finally allowing himself to be more in touch in with his emotions or at least in sharing them with him, that's the important part because he's always willing to listen to anything he has to say. If he's ever failed to listen in the past, he sure as hell has his ears on from now on.

The shower starts in the bathroom before Dean yells, "Are you coming or what?"

Castiel shuts off the camera before going into the bathroom to help his love shower and no doubt steal a few more kisses before their food arrives.

When he steps into the shower he's got the biggest smile on his face and it seems to be contagious because Dean gives him the same big smile in return. They begin taking turns washing one another with the single loofah that had been in the bathroom.

"Stop it-" he says tightly, trying not to laugh.

Castiel tries not to himself, "I'm not doing anything-" 

Dean starts giggling in spurts as they move around in the confined space and they were both just over the fucking moon to have each other.


	76. For The Rest Of My Life

While on their romantic trip the dynamic duo spend so much one on one time together that it completely brings their relationship to a new level. Being away from all the chaos and the many distractions that come with being _home_ is bringing a new type of spark to their relationship and a new understanding for each other.

It's like they can relax and breathe here with no risk of conflict. Besides, who the hell would want to argue in a place where you occasionally walk by someone wearing a _sombrero?_

"Quincy Jones?" the teen laughs on their third night in Mexico, after coming into their room from being at the pool. "Tryna romance me up?" there's a smile on his face before making his way to the bed and crawling on top of the half naked man who was waiting for him to get back.

Castiel bites his lip, hands running up the teens sun kissed skin. "That such a bad thing?" 

The song _Body Heat_ is playing in the background and it's fucking cliche but it's setting the mood just right. The older man helps push his young lovers swim trunks down his hot skin, never breaking eye contact. It's long at all before they are kissing, bodies pressing together and Castiel enters Dean for what must be the dozenth time this week.

As the days go by Dean comes to feel so close to his stepfather once again, opening his heart in a way that he could never do back home. He ends up pouring his heart out to the man about some pretty dark things, the kind of secrets you share only when you're tangled up in the sheets after making love.

The teen has been so loving and affectionate these last few days and it's been so nice. Castiel fears that all of this might disappear when they get back to their real lives. 

Somehow it's easier for them to be so vulnerable here because this feels like a dream, there's no work or school. It's just _them_ right now and they can do whatever they want when they wake up but it's something they both know will come to an end soon.

One of the things Dean hates the most about Castiel is the fact that he works so damn much. If he could have his way, the man would be home every night at Five on the dot but that's not always the case when you're with a freaking _doctor._ It does have it's perks, but Dean would much rather have him around more.

"Hello, Cas-" the teen says loudly from where he's laying on the unmade bed. "I'm kinda talking to you over here-"

Castiel is startled from his thoughts, "Yea baby-" and calls back from where he's flossing in the bathroom with the door open. 

"I wanna get married-" he continues. "Think I'm ready-" the words sound as if he's trying to convince himself of it.

Castiel quickly pokes his head out the doorway to look at his love, "When?" it was shocking to hear such a bold statement at a random moment like this. "You've been dodging the subject since your birthday, why bring it up now?"

Dean shrugs, "I just love you is all-" his face looks a little flushed because he really hates being a girl about things. It's obvious the man wants more of a _real_ answer. "I dunno, just feel like I love you more now-"

Castiel chuckles, "I love you too-" and goes back to the sink to finish up- assuming the conversation is over with. _For now._

"So uh-" now the teen is leaning against the bathroom door frame, looking at his stepfather rinse out his mouth over the sink. "When do you think we can do that?"

Castiel wipes his face with a towel before responding. "Whenever you want to-" the towel is put away on the wall hook before pulling his love flushed against his clothed body. "When do you want to this?"

Dean looks down because his face is aflame and doesn't like showing it. "When we get back home?" there's a moment of silence. "But I don't want it to be a whole thing, you know-" another pause, this is hard for him but the older man is being patient. "Do uh, we need to have a wedding? Cause I don't want people starin' at us-"

Castiel tries not to laugh at the adorableness that is his boyfriend. "We can get married at the courthouse, invite Bobby and Robin to come." pause. "Or whoever you want-" the teen seems to like that idea. "Good, then it's settled-"

They spend their last day in Mexico just browsing the streets while hand in hand and manage to pop in and out of a few shops. Castiel bought Dean a freaking sombrero in one store and a corn on the cob at a street corner after some more shopping.

Castiel inspects the corn suspiciously, "I don't think this is safe-" looks over at the teen devouring the thing and getting mayonnaise all over his cheeks. It looked appetizing but the fact that the vendor had his _supplies_ out in the sun for who knows how long gave him pause.

Only after some convincing from Dean and taking a very reluctant bite out of his corn, he too soon finds himself with mayo all over his cheeks and lips. It's like no one ever taught these two how to eat out on the street and people do point at them for being such slobs but they just don't care.

It was strange for them to eat corn on a stick that had been drenched in mayonnaise but somehow, it tasted amazing and they both hope they can find this back in the states. It's their final day on vacation and it's clear neither of them want to go home just yet, they're having way too much fun being here.

Soon enough it's getting dark and a little cold so it prompts the tired couple to take shelter at the dive bar closest to their resort. The place was run down and playing Spanish music, the kind that apparently makes Dean feel like _fucking._

They sit down and order two beers with no problems, the guy didn't even check for ID which they were both grateful for. It's pretty quiet inside the bar, not very many people in here at the moment. Blue and Green eyes exchange heated glances every now and then as they drink their beer and chat casually about things. 

"You really want to get married already?"

Dean nods with the swallow of his beer, "Yea-" sets the bottle down in front of him. "But it's gonna be weird being married-" huffs a small laugh. "To a fuckin' dude-"

Castiel is a mature adult so no offense is taken, simply keeps drinking his beverage. "I suppose it will be strange-" there's a minute or two of silence between them, most likely because they're both thinking about the topic at hand.

"Can you live with the fact that you're going to be married to another man?"

The teen takes a long moment before responding, "I guess, gonna have to be-" then pushes the half empty beer bottle away because he's had enough. "Listen, Cas-" their eyes lock. "I love you, so that's all that matters okay-" he gives the man a warm smile of reassurance because he knows their relationship can be a little one sided more of the time.

"I love you too baby-" he reaches across the small table to hold his lovers hand before tugging on it to signal for him to come sit on his lap.

The place was completely empty by now and the bartender had gone into the back room to do something so they were sure to be alone for what should be the next few minutes. Dean comes over reluctantly and sits on the mans lap as if he were about to tell him what he wanted for Christmas.

A strong hand rests against his lower back and then it begins moving up and down suggestively. "Cas-" he squirms a little.

Castiel's eyes are half closed due to arousal, "So pretty-" and uses his free hand to cup the back of his loves head to bring him down for a kiss.

Dean leans down because he's basically being forced to, in the hottest way possible and allows the older man to devour his mouth completely. He whimpers helplessly as the large tongue belonging to his stepfather explores his mouth expertly as if for the very first time. 

"Mmm-" he pulls away, running his large thumb over his lovers baby pink lips. "You always taste sweet-"

The teen buries his face into the mans warm neck because he does not want to blush for the millionth time today. "Stop givin' me butterflies-" he says softly. Now there's a firm hand rubbing his ass over his shorts, it makes him giggle involuntarily. 

Castiel whispers in his ear, "Can I fuck you again tonight?" and he's only asking because the teens ass has been pounded many times this week.

Dean tries not to explode from shyness at wanting to get fucked yet again and simply laughs awkwardly, biting his lip.

"You can say it-" his voice sounds so deep and sultry. "Tell me what you're thinking-"

The teen leans in to softly say, "I want your big fucking cock-" inhales sharply. "Always want it, Cas-" exhales slowly.

Castiel downs the rest of his beer before grabbing Dean's hand and making a run for it. Only until they're outside of the bar, do they realize that they didn't pay for their drinks but it didn't matter anymore. It's only half the reason why they were running down the street, looking like complete fools.

They must have looked ridiculous to the random people still out at this hour but regardless of what anyone thinks of them, they were enjoying themselves in such a carefree way for the first time. Finally, they were starting to feel like a _normal_ couple with no age difference to speak of.

No one happens to be in the lobby so that prompted the two to run like bats out of hell in order to make it to their room as fast as possible. Many laughs were had in the process of fighting one another for the key card and Castiel is the one who wins at last, opening the door.

The two undress quickly and once nude, they can't keep their eyes off each other.

Dean looks down shyly again, feeling flushed all over and trying to hide it. "Cas, um-" peeks up through his lashes. "I think we set a record-" he's referring to how much sex they've been having lately.

Castiel chuckles before caressing his lovers face tenderly with the back of his fingers. "If you're not up to it tonight, just tell me-"

Dean makes a quick sprint to the bed before letting himself fall on it stomach first, his ass no doubt jiggling with the movement. "Just get over here-" he then rolls over onto his back, one knee drawn up as if posing or something. "Are you deaf, I said come over here-" 

Castiel swallows thickly, the view in front of him just ready for the taking was a little too much to take in. "Of course-" he walks to the edge of the bed and crawls over his love, hooking his hands where the teens knees bend, bringing them up to his chest. 

Dean groans suddenly, not from pleasure just yet but being so open and spread apart like this felt wonderful. "I love you-" he admits for the billionth time since they've been in Mexico. "Like, I really love you-" 

Castiel manages to say it back but does not want to get into his feelings because shedding tears at a moment like this wasn't sexy. The teens hand cups his face, his thumb rubbing the stubble on his cheek. Green eyes are searching his soul and it's just too much, he's looking way too deeply into him as if wanting to get a good peek at his soul or something.

"What are you trying to do to _me?_ " it was an honest question. "I mean-" he sighs, "You know I love you baby, but why are you being so-" there's no word to describe, "You know-" 

_Great,_ the teens vocabulary is rubbing off on him.

Dean seriously says, "Dunno-" smiles. "Maybe you finally got me pregnant-" 

Castiel tries not to laugh at his sense of humor, "Maybe-" winks. "It would explain your mood swings-"

The two are now kissing so passionately that Dean doesn't even notice when his stepfather enters him, there was no pain or burn to speak of this time. It's only when his prostate gets jabbed suddenly is when he notices that they've actually began fucking.

The pace is deep and hard, but slow and somehow tender. Every now and then a certain wet sound comes out of Dean but neither of them laugh because it's natural, it's normal. 

The teen blinks rapidly here and there just to keep his focus on the drop dead gorgeous man on top of him but eventually his eyes move down south. Castiel literally looks like some kind of chiseled statue with his damp muscles contracting as he thrusts forward. 

Dean moans loudly, eyebrows furrowed. _"Ugh-"_ his hands are on the bedspread at his sides, fingers digging into the fabric just to hold on because it was hard for him to do   
anything else. His knees were still spread open as far as they could go and held up for easy access. _"Mmph-"_ he whimpers, bottom lip caught between his teeth. 

Castiel releases his grip on one of his lovers legs to wipe the sweat of his forehead and the teen uses the new found freedom to hook that leg over his stepfathers back to bring him down against his own body. Now their skin is pressing together as they work in tandem to get to orgasm, everything feels hot and so _wet._

He groans, _"Agh-"_ like some kind of animal.

The teen whines because the man is fucking into him without an ounce of mercy. "Cas, _ugh_ -" his eyes roll back, the headboard banging against the wall repeatedly. "I'm gonna-" and right then, he's coming in spurts between their sweat slicked bodies. _"Mmph,_ shiit-"

Castiel snarls like a wolf before giving his love everything he's got, leaving it all inside of him and rides the final waves of both their orgasms. "I can't-" panting, "Get enough of you-" leans in to press a kiss on Dean's forehead. 

The rest of the night they spend snuggled up in the mess of the sheets that they don't need to bother changing. They eat junk food while they talk and laugh about nothing and _everything_ there is to.

It was probably one of the best nights they have ever spent together because they got to be lovers and even best friends during this trip. There was no one else to pull focus away from one another and it was beyond nice.

In the morning the two manage to get in a shower and a quick cup of coffee before heading to the bus station in a taxi. It's all so bittersweet because they both want to go home but they love what they shared here a little too much. Maybe a visit to Mexico will become a yearly thing or maybe they'll travel to new places.

When they take their seats at the back of the bus, Dean has tears in his eyes and doesn't know why. Castiel leans over to kiss his cheek and whisper that everything is going to be just fine because they have each other. 

The teen seems to take comfort in those words because soon enough, he's fast asleep with his head resting on his stepfathers shoulder. With many hours of travel ahead, Castiel uses this time to think about everything that's happened in the previous week.

Castiel prays that their vacation romance will continue when they get back to reality or perhaps he'll just have to sweep his love off somewhere else in order to get the most out of him. Either way, he's just happy that Dean is the one who sweeps _him_ off his feet each and every day of his life for the rest of it.

The world outside the window blurs past a little too quickly for his eyes to keep up and it makes him realize just how damn sleepy he is. It's not long before his head is resting against Dean's and fall asleep with dreams of _Mexico._


End file.
